Sexy Mall Santa
some old man loving for the lovely @antidotesprout ! happy holidays!
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Nanu could remember few times he’d felt more annoyed than this very moment. Sure, he lived each day in a perpetual state of annoyance, but rarely did it grow to such high degrees. He felt similar to a boiler already steaming, but starting to scream in the moment’s before it blew.
The only thing keeping him from blowing was the warm presence at his side. Despite the heavy (and cheap) red coat he was wearing, Nanu could feel Lehua shifting her weight side to side, chuckling at whatever antics the Team Skull grunts were up to as they ran around the manor. Her calm demeanor felt like a salve on his fried nerves.
That is, until Guzma called for “Santy” to sit his ass on the throne to start hearing about the kids’ Christmas wishes.
Lehua laughed, low and warm. Nanu fought the heat on his face, already tired of this, and pulled his beard up over his face. The grunts gathered around, watching as he sat on the throne, Lehua at his side, his elfish assistant.
One boy pointed at him. “Hey! Ain’t that-”
The girl next to him smacked his hand, hard. “Shut up! You want presents or not, dumbass?”
“Swearin’ ain’t gettin’ you on the nice list!” The boy snapped back, cradling his now reddened hand to his chest.
Nanu sighed heavily. This was going to be a long day.
Luckily for him, most of the grunts didn’t want to sit on his lap, and those who did didn’t stick around for long under his unamused glare. The crowd dwindled down slowly, soon racing off to do other things once Lehua had all the wishes recorded in a notebook for future reference.
“Nice job.” She complimented as the last few grunts ran off to tell Guzma about their new brilliant idea of a slide that goes from the top floors to the front yard. “You didn’t look half as constipated towards the end there.”
“Shut up.” Nanu grumbled, pulling his itchy beard off at last. “I’m not doing that again. You be Santa next year. Or Mrs. Claus. Whatever.”
A hand drew along his shoulder. “Mrs. Claus? What are you offering, old man?” Nanu shuddered a little as the hand slowly slid down his chest, warm through the shitty costume fabric. “Hm. . . maybe we should go back to your place and open a few early Christmas presents, yeah?”
Before Nanu could reply, loud gagging filled the room. Some grunts lingering in the doors laughed and faked more gagging, only to freeze when Lehua and Nanu both fixed them with deadly stares. They ran off, and Nanu gave another sigh, rubbing his temple.
“Yeah.” He eventually said, rising to his feet. Lehua cocked a brow, but didn’t resist Nanu dragging her by the arm towards the door. “Let’s go. I got a Christmas wish, and I want it granted right now. I deserve it.”
Lehua laughed again. “Alright, Nick. Does that mean I get a turn to sit in your lap?”
“And then some.”
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The Infiltrator, chapter 10- Out of my Hands.
Man. This has been the longest fanfiction project I’ve attempted in years, and I’m glad to have finally finished it. Thank you to everyone who helped me with this and to everyone who read it to the end.
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N scrambled up the ladder and out of the underground room, briefly returning his rapidash, who could not climb ladders, before letting it out again and mounting it. The Pokémon galloped back towards the Team Rainbow Rocket hideout. Reshiram would have been faster, but there was no knowing when Giovanni or his reinforcements would show up, and while N could survive taking a tumble on his steed should it be attacked, falling from a knocked-out flying Pokémon was another matter.
As the hideout came in to view, Mewtwo teleported in before it, along with a furious-looking Giovanni. N tugged at his steed’s neck to get it to stop, and it reared up, terrified. Giovanni sent out his rhyperior, which shot several rocks at the radipash before it could react. N jumped off of it and landed on his side, managing not to be crushed by the horselike Pokémon as it wiped out, unconscious.
As N began to pick himself up, Giovanni came over and kicked him in the side. “It’s impressive that you’ve gotten this far, kid, but the gig is up,” he said, “Now, you have two options. I could kill you, or I could neutralize you as a threat by having mewtwo erase all your memories of this place and any involvement you might have had with me. I’d have to take your ability to communicate with Pokémon as well, so they couldn’t remind you of it. So, which will it be? It’s your choice.”
N weighed his options. With Giovanni’s Rhyperior and Mewtwo standing over him, his chances of escape were bleak. His abilities with Pokémon... they were everything to him. But he’d still rather lose them than die. Maybe some of it could be relearned.
Just as N opened his mouth to answer, Reshiram came out of its pokéball, grabbed onto N’s collar with its mouth, and took off into the skies with him.
“Thanks, buddy,” he said, climbing onto reshiram’s back. Mewtwo was chasing after them. N led reshiram through the sky, dodging and weaving so not to be hit as lasers of psychic energy flew past them. As they carried on, N checked what Pokémon he currently had on him. Aside from reshiram and rapidash, he had Iris’ espeon, his leafeon and ninjask, and his zoroark- not a terrible line-up, but not his best. And one could presume that Giovanni was bringing his best.
N had his reshiram turn to face Mewtwo and fire at it with turbo blaze. As with most aerial battles, there were many misses and dodges before Reshiram finally hit Mewtwo with a beam of fire. Mewtwo tumbled through the sky, recovered, and delivered a tri attack. N guided Reshiram to dodge, but reshiram was hit in the chest.
As N guided reshiram to go back into retreat mode, he looked to the enemy Pokémon and then his own. They both seemed like another hit would be all it took.
“Put me down in front of the hideout,” he told the legendary, “I can’t take falls like you can.”
Reshiram obeyed, diving down while weaving enough to be a tough target. N jumped off once it got close enough to the ground, and reshiram immediately ascended again, leaving N in front of Giovanni and his Rhyperior.
“Huh. You have spunk, kid. I can respect that,” Giovanni admitted.
“It’s over, Giovanni. Four of your admins are gone, your machine is melted, and I’m going to call the international police the first chance I get.”
“You’re not going to get a chance! Rhyperior, hammer arm!”
The rock giant took aim at N, who scrambled for a pokéball. “Leafeon, out and use leaf blade!”
The leafeon came out and blocked the rhyperior’s attack with its leafy tail, but N didn’t stick around to watch her fight- he had to get inside. He had to get help on the way. Otherwise, they could fight each other to exhaustion and Giovanni would still have his underlings to send after him. And at very least, this was a good match-up for her typewise. Looking over his shoulder, it seemed like he was a good match-up for Giovanni as well, at least in terms of foot speed.
N scrambled into the empty entrance and made for his room, letting out his zoroark and ninjask at the doorway. “Hold Giovanni off,” he ordered them.
In the privacy of his room, N dialed the international police.
“Hello?”“
“Rocket Boss Giovanni is trying to kill me.”
From behind the door, N could hear the sound of his zoroark growling. The woman on the other end of the line sighed. “You mean he sent you a death threat? We’ll arrange for you to receive a government-funded guard Pokémon,” she said as though she’d said it a hundred times before.
“I mean he’s outside my door beating up my Pokémon right now. Send help!” N yelled as a chorus of thuds and slashing noises sounded from behind the wall.
“Give us the address and we’ll have someone over right away.” To N’s relief, her voice was serious now.
“There’s no specific address. We’re off the Northern coast of Ula’ula, wooded area, very close to the beach.”
The door slammed open, N’s zoroark and Giovanni’s persian tumbling through, resembling a ball of blood, claws and vengeance as they wrestled. N and Giovanni made eye contact, the latter becoming enraged when he saw the phone in N’s hand. He returned his Persian, turned away, and ran.
For a moment, N sat still, unsure of what to do. Then, N turned back to the phone. “What did you just say? I missed it.”
“I said we’ll dispatch the helicopters immediately.”
“Thank you.”
N turned to his zoroark. “He must be making a run for it. Let’s go.”
With that, N ran down the hall, returning his fainted ninjask as he went. His zoroark bounded along beside him. They caught up to Giovanni at the hideout’s front desk, speaking into its microphone extension.
Giovanni’s voice came over the intercom, loud enough to wake the dead. “There is an intruder among us, last seen in the admin dormitories. He has long green hair, above-average height, and is wearing a grunt uniform. Everyone up and at em’!”
N ducked back into the dormitory hall and then into one of the rooms. It only then occurred to him that one of those rooms contained Ghetsis. Ghetsis. He would be one of the people nearest by, and considering how their last meeting had ended, he would probably be itching to hurt N.
Thankfully, it seemed that Zoroark had an idea. Using its incredible agility, it jumped up and tore a few panels from the ceiling. N nodded to it- desperate times called for desperate measures. The zoroark grabbed N and jumped through the hole. Thankfully, there were strong enough rafters to hold their weight, and enough space that they could comfortably crawl.
The two put distance between themselves and the hole. There were areas where they could clearly hear the bustle of searching grunts down below. Once they got to a quieter area, they stopped to plan.
“I’ve got to find a way to keep Giovanni in the building a little longer or he’s going to get away. Any ideas?” N asked his Pokémon.
The wolflike creature shook its head.
“It’s a tough one, isn’t it? Reasoning with him is probably off the table, and it’s not like we can strongarm him into staying. Unless espeon’s a fighter, I only have you left, and he has...”
The zoroark barked softly.
“His persian and two others. And the power of all his subordinates. Yeah, battle stregnth isn’t going to help us.”
It was then that N heard the sound of a large Pokémon crying, seemingly coming from directly below him. N removed one of the ceiling panels and realized that he was right above a two story-tall storage room of sorts filled with weaponry, torture devices, and cages. At the center of it was a map of the world with various figurines of legendaries and armies, similar to those Ghetsis had used way back when he had led Team Plasma. This must have been stage 1.
N dropped down onto what seemed like a massive row of shelves set up against a wall but upon closer inspection was a wall lined with cages. N climbed down them, past numerous strange and alienlike Pokémon. They made a ruckus as he descended- there was no chance he wouldn’t be heard. They were all screaming for N to let them out. Screaming for revenge on Ghetsis and Giovanni. And one told him the location of the keys in the top shelf of Ghetsis’ desk over by the map. N ran for the keys and nabbed them just as the first grunt entered the room. N turned to the grunt.
“Find Giovanni,” N said, “Tell him that if he isn’t in this room in the next ten minutes, I will release all these ultra beasts, and that they want revenge on him.”
The grunt nodded and ran. N hoped that that would be enough- some of the Pokémon were big and capable of flight, but surely Giovanni had ways of protecting himself. Mere moments later, more grunts came in to challenge N. It was one fight after another with his zoroark. The grunts were weak, but zoroark was getting tired, and there seemed to be no end in sight. As N handled the third grunt’s zubat, Giovanni showed up, shoved his grunt out of the way and took out his nidoking and nidoqueen.
“You useless idiots!” Giovanni yelled at the grunts, “why are you coming at him one at a time? You have numbers. Take out your Pokémon now, all of you, and show him what Team Rocket is capable of!”
The grunts obeyed, filling the air with weak bats and the ground with various weaker Pokémon.
Giovanni then turned to N. “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to slow me down so I get caught. But while you’re surrounded like this, it won’t take any time at all.”
From behind Giovanni, another voice sounded.
“This is the international police. We have you surrounded. Return your Pokémon and put your hands up.”
The next few minutes were a blur. Giovanni desperately attempted to escape by having his Pokémon break through the walls, but they were unable to do so fast enough and Giovanni was led away in handcuffs. Some grunts ran. Others attacked N out of anger or confusion. They took out his zoroark and Iris’ espeon before a group of men and women in purple international police uniforms managed to safely escort N out.
Roughly an hour later, N was at the Ula’ula police station, sitting on their worn-out pleather couch as a member of the international police discussed matters with Ula’ula’s police chief outside. It was over. Or at least, it was out of his hands. Something told N that Giovanni wouldn’t go down that easily. N found it difficult to relax, especially since his phone had been confiscated and he’d been given no healing items for his Pokémon, which left him with nothing to do but watch the clock.
Police chief Nanu walked in through the front door and handed N three pokéballs. “The international police passed these on to me. They said that they were recovered from around the hideout. Do you know who they belong to?”
N looked into them. “Yes. They’re my reshiram, rapidash, and leafeon. Thank you.”
“Of course, kid. Now, do you need to get ahold of someone, or...?”
“I could contact my sisters and Abraxus. Is there any news from the international police?”
“No. Chances are there won’t be. Not for a long time, at least. There’s a lot of powerful people with vested interest in Giovanni’s freedom, so getting him out of the picture has to be hush-hush if it can even happen at all. The fewer people who know, the better.”
“Oh.” It was rather disappointing and a little scary that N would never know whether Giovanni was in jail or plotting his revenge.
Nanu seemed to sense N’s unhappiness. “ Hey, between you and me? You did a good thing by taking things into your own hands. Vigilantes like you aren’t hampered by corruption, so there’s no limits to what you can do against crime groups that have embedded themselves into our institutions. But I think if anyone ever had a shot at locking up Giovanni, it would be the international police.” Nanu dug N’s cellphone out of his pocket. “I guess I can give this back to you now that you understand that you can’t speak a word of this to anyone. Ready to call your people?” he asked.
“Yeah,” N replied. He took the phone and dialed.
Abraxus picked up the phone. “N? How is everything? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m at the Ula’ula police station. Can you come meet up with me? There’s a lot I have to tell you guys. And I have something I need to say to you.”
“Oh. Okay.” N could hear the anxiety in her voice.
“It’s a good something, don’t worry.”
Fairly soon, N was reunited with Abraxus and his sisters. The first words out of his mouth were a very relieved “it’s over.” They took N’s Pokémon to get healed and then headed down to the beach at N’s recommendation. He wanted a place as private as possible to talk through everything. Thankfully, the beach was empty in the early morning hours. In the blue stillness of night and to the sound of the waves, N felt calmer than he’d felt since he’d arrived in Alola. He explained how he’d sent the four villains away, and how they would most likely never know of Ghetsis’ or Giovanni’s fate.
“You don’t know whether Ghetsis escaped or not? That’s terrifying!” Anthea said.
“I hope I never have to think of him again,” N admitted. “As soon as we get home, I think we should put our version of Ghetsis in a real prison. I don’t think I’ll ever change his mind, and he’ll have a better life there.”
“Honestly, that’s probably a good idea. But what changed your mind?”
“I had to look into the minds of five villains these past couple days, and I learned that people do learn and change. You can even be the one that helps them to. But not everyone is willing to. I know that Lysandre still doesn’t care about people outside his circle for the right reasons, even though I got him to do the right thing. And I don’t know what Cyrus is going to do now- I just know that I did what I could to steer him right. And honestly? I was a little relieved when Lysandre and Cyrus left. They’re not people I want in my life. And… as much as it disappointed me that I couldn’t learn how to handle Ghetsis, I was also relieved that I wouldn’t have to. Ghetsis doesn’t want to do right. He doesn’t want to listen to me. And that’s out of my control.”
“That’s… very wise, N,” Abraxus said. N wondered if she was worried about his new knowledge- if he’d seen her in the memories of any of the villains.
“Thanks. And Abraxus, I know about your past, and I still want you in my life. I overheard it while you were talking to Lusamine. You chose to turn yourself into the person I needed because you had compassion for me. I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m really glad that we’ll be facing it together. Thank you for everything.”
For a moment, Abraxus could only stare at N. Then she collapsed in on him, wrapping him in a tight hug.
“Glad I can still be in your life, N,” she said.
“Thanks. You guys ready to go home?”
There was general agreement, and soon N and his companions were once again flying over the ocean, headed to Unova.
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Wait how's alolanoa??
oh she's relatively....fine, she just had her shit wrecked by going through an Ultra Wormhole, merging with a child who was selectively mute (therefore creating this MASSIVE dissonance), and otherwise having to relearn how to walk again, while also dealing with a language barrier.
Good ol' Nanu has her back, after Looker and Anabel decided "hey, she might do better with you than us" and now he's a dad.
Ultra Beasts like her, but there's especially one - a shiny Pheremosa named Nana, who once she gets over her extreme disgust with everything (as most Pheremosa find everything UNCLEAN), gets very motherly.
And then sometime later, Alolan Noa goes on her journey and thinks "I CAN DO THIS!!!" not realizing that the player character from Kanto, Yoh (Helio - I just like his Japanese name better and it fits), decided he wanted to become a surfer above all else, and left Noa to pick up the pieces as she gets stuck with story crap, sees the SUMO to USUM differences first-hand...
And gets the biggest jump scare, come the Totem Araquanid that she THOUGHT was gonna be a Wishiwashi.
Brought to you by my own experience when I played USUM. :V
Anyways implication here is that the original body before Alolan Noa took over has this influence on her character a bit, one that makes Plumeria arch her brow a bit because it's a bit too eerily similar to some of the kids in Team Skull that they're otherwise raising away from abusive homes.
Most of the guys think that Alolan Noa is some tourist kid from Kanto who got lost, before just, "Welcome aboard", with Plumeria having to verbally smack some of her younger siblings into behaving when they get too rowdy.
And Guzma loves Nana the Pheremosa, while Hau first met Alolan Noa during Burnet and Kukui's wedding, and otherwise just keeps giving her malasadas.
Meanwhile Gladion is still "wtf, what the FUCK" becuase his first encounter with her was this crying mess who tumbled down a hill, only for it all to go to hell when Nana jumped out an ultra wormhole, react, and then just NYOOM after Gladion and Noa (who he is carrying on his back).
Not the best first impression, but these guys are cool. And then Lillie eventually joins the squad, and it's otherwise, a lot less hectic as it could be, but god damn, we still have so much in the future, followed by Rainbow Rocket, which is where it all goes to hell. :V
(i will try my best to return to this fic this year, i would like to have Guzma interact with a Pheremosa, and just, in general, have Guzma pop up)
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