#oh also there’s some creepy animal murder happening

[plutosschild]

I’ve been so busy prepping for Halloween that I forgot to do a Halloween drawing so I’ll do one and post it another time but here’s a doodle I did of @sugarlesswriting ‘s fic ‘Clementine’ instead of paying attention to my lecturer x

#both of them: *sigh* being in love with my long distance chat room pen pal is so hard <\3 #also both of them: *literally like a few rooms down from one another* #also both of them: *started talking online because the other pissed them off* #oh also there’s some creepy animal murder happening #my art #digital art #td courtney #total drama #duncney #td duncan #artists on tumblr #total drama au #I got Duncan’s base from this tiktoker I’m on the train rn when I get home I’ll give them proper credit #the artist is @mellon_soup they don’t have a tumblr but they do free bases for people to use in art go check them out <3 #td duncney

[ririglow]

Madly | Joe Burrow

pairings: loner! joe burrow x popular reader

word count: 11.7k

genre: college au!

warnings: long hair Joe (don't know if that's considered a warning or not but oh well!) reader is a bit of an airhead, cursing, drinking, awkward Joe (he gets no hoes in this), shy Joe (bc why not), the reader is toxic and unlikable in some instances, heavy make-out session, slight dry humping, there's no actual smut in this

synopsis: the popular loner gets dared to play the seven minutes in heaven at a party in a haunted house and you his crush volunteer as a tribute to participate.

a/n: shitty ass description but you get the picture! also yes that is joe with long hair someone on Twitter made that edit and since then my brain has been racking with ideas of long hair Joe. It"s giving "because tonight will be the night that I will fall for yew!!"

It was another Saturday night and you were looking forward to the party you were attending. You've always enjoyed parties, especially when they're hosted by someone you know. The idea of letting loose and having a good time is something you can't resist. You believe that having fun and being a little carefree is an essential part of life, especially when you're in college. You're not afraid to admit it, and you don't care what people think about your party-girl lifestyle.

However, tonight was different. You were feeling uneasy about the party's location, and it was making you second-guess your decision to go.

"Who had the bright idea to throw a Halloween party in a real haunted house?" Cato, your friend, expressed her apprehension as she adjusted her bunny ears. You can't blame her; this was a disaster waiting to happen. Dumb college students decide to rave in a house where there have been numerous reports of "dark spirits" from past murders. As much as you'd prefer not to be the prophet of doom, the situation sounds like something out of a cliche horror film.

It didn't help that the location is in vast flat farmland stretching hundreds of miles with the only sign of life you'd encountered on your journey being countryside animals. What in the world was Sam thinking? What were you thinking?

"That'll be your "bright" boy toy, Sam Hubbard." You respond with a compressed smile as you open the car door and step out. The cold October air hits you harshly, your pink leotard and sparkles fishnet tights were completely useless.

Your gaze immediately latches on the creepy and dilapidated house that wasn't too far off in the distance. The old Victorian-style home that has witnessed the best of days is now weathered and shadowy. The only thing stopping it from looking utterly ghastly was the seasonal decorations on the outside and the loud music blasting inside. Even though the house is not exactly in its prime you couldn't help but admire the elaborate woodwork and design.

"What?!" You felt a hefty smack land on your arm. "I had no idea this was Sam's party! Oh my God!"

"I know right?! Isn't it great?!" You chirped with a big smile. "You guys can finally spend some time with each other. "

Cato rolls her eyes walking alongside you as you make your way toward the house saying, "No thanks I'd like to maintain my dignity."

For a long time, she has struggled with her crush on Sam. Her philosophy is that if she avoids him as much as possible, those feelings will fade. Furthermore, her integrity will not be compromised simply because she has a huge crush on one of the school's wildest and most cocky athletes.

"Believe it or not, he's got a crush on you just as much as you do on him." You mentioned.

Cato rolls her eyes and continues to walk, saying, "That's not a crush; that's pure lust. Which isn't much of a shocker given how many girls he's fucked with around campus."

Your head shook in denial. "Sam might have a negative IQ and spend most of his life doing stupid crap like this," you gesture toward the house. "But take it from someone who hangs around him a lot; he's not like that."

"As the saying goes, seeing is believing, and from what I have gathered, he likes to stick his dick into anything that has a hole in it.".

"Oh really? or are you listening to those friends of yours again whose only action is tongue-kissing a tree?"

You and Cato are from different social circles. You prefer to party instead of attending study programs on the weekend, while Cato is a high-achieving scholar who is driven by the desire to learn. She always puts her education first and is the type of student who would prepare for a pop quiz as if it were an SAT. Needless to say, your ambitions and success are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

"Hey! not too much on Peggy," She scowls defensively. " The bottom line is I know he's only looking for someone to keep his bed warm."

You didn't bother responding because you knew there was no point in persuading her that her perception of him was wrong. Instead, you proceed to the front door of the house. As you both approach, you can smell the musty odor of the place, which is likely to be older than your grandparents.

Since the music was so loud, you grabbed the rusty door handle and pulled it open without knocking. Upon entering the inside wasn't what anyone would expect based on the outside image. The decoration and color scheme looked impressive. Fake cobwebs and caution tape were draped around the foyer, and a number of orange and black balloons were scattered on the floor. There were fake spiders on the walls, but you weren't sure if they were real or not. It wouldn't be surprising if they pertain to the house, you're in. Your eyes roamed over everyone in either the most generic costume to the most ridiculous, a cluster of people stood in corners making out dancing, drinking, or just talking. The energy felt very laidback, you were surprised many people even showed up given the rumors of the house.

A medium-sized table next to the entrance with an "entry fee" sign caught your eye. Rather than a bowl of cash, it had shot glasses holding liquid-filled syringes.

"This is clever," You said in awe as you grabbed two glasses handing one over to Cato.

"Oh no, one of us has to be the sober one here tonight." She said while shaking her head.

"C'mon Cat, it's only one shot and it comes with a chaser," You told her before shooting the vodka-filled syringe directly into your mouth and then chasing it down with a glass of soda.

She sighs knowing you would scowl at her for being such a killjoy. "This will be my first and only drink for tonight"

"Fine by me," You shrug taking another shot." Just as long you're not going to be uptight as a nun in a bar, all night we should be good."

"Remind me why we're friends again?" She says reluctantly, before quickly consuming the vodka.

"We help each other out." You patted her shoulder. "Without me, you would be doing a four-thousand-piece globe puzzle right now bored out of your mind, and I would be here surrounded by idiots alone."

"You'll have Sam," She points out.

"He's one of the idiots I was referring to."

"Takes one to know one." Cato teased, and in return, you playfully shoved her shoulder.

You walk further into the house. Off the main hallway, to the right, is the front parlor. The white sheet-covered furniture in this room is surrounded by a few people who sit idly. You greeted familiar faces passing by, not bothering to engage in full conversation. While Cato is after you, unable to leave your side, which is understandable, you doubt any of her other friends were attending this party. Not like any of them would be able to make it past the front door.

You beckon Cato to follow as you weave through the crowd. You passed a couple dressed up as Fred and Daphne from Scooby Doo making out on the couch with the guy's hand buried underneath the girl's skirt, in front of everyone with zero shame.

Damn. You thought as they were quite literally about to rip each other's clothes off.

"I need to get laid," You said sighing at the sight feeling a bit jealous you have no one to do that with.

"They were so rough with each other," Cato said with a grimace.

"What's wrong with that?" You said without a care in the world. Much like your personalities, your interpretations of sex are wildly different. You remember when she'd gossiped about the times she hooked up with a guy from her debate club, vanilla wouldn't be the word to describe the sex she experienced. It was dull as dishwater, you fell asleep on the phone as she ranted about how sweet he stayed in missionary for the whole hour.

Still to this day, you don't know how she can proudly profess that to someone, even to you. However, as her best friend, you still were pleased that her sex life was no longer non-existent even congratulated her on her achievement of screwing one of the student councils.

You made it to the crowded kitchen and immediately the strong scent of alcohol filled your nostrils, almost clouding your brain. To no surprise, multiple beer kegs are sitting on the counter, floor, and table. One of which is currently being guzzled by the host of the party, while doing a keg stand. Two people assist in holding both of his legs upright as the crowd gathers around shouting "Chug! Chug! Chug!"

"Oh my god, is that Sam?!" Cato exclaims beside you with widen eyes as she takes in her crush doing what he does best, stupid shit.

"Yup." You said simply, popping the "p". Crossing your arms you observe the scene in front of you, wondering how many more seconds he has until he pukes up his last few remaining brain cells.

It didn't take long for his balance to become uncoordinated and soon his body toppled forward falling off the table on the empty cans of beer and balloons that were scattered on the floor. The room quieted down as everyone including yourself and Cato included looked down at Sam, who lay flat on his back staring up at the ceiling.

"Is he okay?! oh my god, we need to help him." Cato motions to step forward, however, your arm shot out to stop her.

"Wait for it..."

You watch Sam slowly gets up before shouting. "That was fucking awesome! Hell yeah!" The crowd was brought back to life as they cheered along with him.

"He can't be serious?" She expressed her surprise.

The crowd cheered as Sam, dressed in a cowboy outfit, showed off his biceps in triumph. "Like a heart attack," you responded simply as he fires himself up, you swear that man belongs in wrestling instead of football. Cato seems unable to take her eyes off Sam, specifically his bare chest, partially covered by a leather vest that looks small in comparison to his enormous stature. With the red bandana tied around his neck and the tight wrangler cowboy-cut jeans, you would've thought he was planning a strip tease show.

"Hey, pick your jaw off the floor he's coming over here." You nudged her softly, watching Sam's eyes brighten extra once he spotted you leaning against the wall before making his way in your direction.

Sam's large frame pushed through the crowd as steps in front of you, his eyes shifting over to the right side of you towards Cato. It was a brief look but you could detect the admiration behind it, and Cato's fake unbothered demeanor as she looks everywhere but at Sam. You could practically hear her internal screaming that was going off inside her head. It's almost sickening how neither party wouldn't dare to be the first person to make a move.

"Y/N! I see you made it." As Sam embraces you, he opens his arms in greeting. As your cheek touches his sweaty chest, a heavy aroma of beer fills your nostrils, making you physically cringe.

"Can't see how I would miss this." You said wiping your cheek with a grimace as you pull away.

"Well, the last time I heard from you it sounded like you wanted to." He said with a chuckle. Your eyebrows furrowed not knowing what he meant. Sam seems to notice and continues saying." You texted me and said Sam, what makes you think I want to party at the exorcist's house?"

You let out a sound of realization, remembering the text you had sent him after he insist you partake in his foolery. To which you flat out dismissed, even though you consider Sam to be one of your closest friends, and find a majority of his chaotic antics amusing there were some things you have boundaries too, and one of those things is being inside a house where multiple murders happened. Not exactly a place you want to go for "fun". But nonetheless, you were here.

"Hey, you made it seem like you were eager to go to this party," Cato spoke up, looking at you confused.

"I was..." You trailed off not knowing what to say, distinctively remembering inquiring to Cato about the party, instead of going to a board game cafe she proposed to you with her friends. "Sam!" You exclaim, changing the subject. "I must say you've outdone yourself with this one."

"Pretty sick right? The blood was hard to scrub off when we were decorating the place but I'd say it turned out pretty good." He nodded to himself looking around.

You and Cato shared a look before saying. "Wait, what?"

He faced you two and flashed a grin. "I'm only kidding."

Before anyone could say anything else a voice calls out. "Yo, Sam!"

It was Sam's best friend Nick. The two of them were strikingly similar in many ways, and sometimes they shared the same uncanny ability to think and act irrationally. However, Nick was not your biggest fan for whatever reason you don't know. Okay, that's not true you do know the reason, but managed to put it past you.

"What's up?" Sam said acknowledging him.

"Me and the boys playing beer pong out back, you trying to shoot?" He asked after briefly greeting Cato and ultimately ignoring you. Ah. No surprise there. Though you weren't fazed in the slightest.

"Hell yeah! are any of you willing to put some money down ?" Sam grinned.

"Logan might not since he blew his last five hundred." His daddy's five hundred, Logan Wilson has never worked a day in his life and only fiend off his rich parents. Just like you. But, unlike Logan, you spend your money on things that are worthy, like shoes, clothes, hair, and makeup…

Not a stupid game that consist throwing plastic balls into cups of beer.

You notice Nick purposely has his back to you and was facing Cato and Sam. Although you didn't care, you don't like being ignored, especially when you're so used to there being a lot of attention on you most of the time.

"It's not nice to ignore someone, Nick." You speak up placing a hand on your chest as if you were hurt by his lack of attention. Hell would have to freeze over for you to find yourself caring about the feelings of someone who ate a worm just because he saw on the internet of it tasted like chicken.

"Not ignoring, just not caring for your existence." He says while cutting his eye over to you.

"And why is that?" You ask with a confused look on your face.

He gritted his teeth as he said, "Are you seriously going to pretend like what you did to Tyler last month didn't happen?"

Throwing up your hands in desperation, you said to Nick, "Exactly a month ago! All wrongs need to be forgiven and forgotten. So tell your brother to stop being dramatic and unblock me so we can work things out. "

"You know, I am so glad you guys are through. That way he can find someone who has more class and is less bitchy." He scoffs.

"Just like your dad did to your mom last year I assume right?"

"You're such a bitch…" He said starting to get in your personal space, however, Sam stepped in between you two.

Your chuckle was uninhibited, despite him being twice as large as you. A hum escaped your lips as you glanced down at your medium-sized pink French tips, reminding yourself to schedule an appointment with your nail technician.

"Hey man, cool it, just go ahead. I'll be out there in a minute." Sam assured giving him a serious look.

Nick continues to glare at you as he walked away while you give him a mocking wave goodbye.

"Cat, I know what you're going to say." You huffed out practically feeling her disapproval.

"Good so you know that was so low of you to do?" She hissed.

"I didn't even say anything that was oh-so bad."

"You were totally out of pocket saying that about Tyler and on top of that you made fun of their parent's divorce!"

"He called me classless and bitchy." You defended. "Sam help me out here?"

He scratches his head looking uneasy. "I don't agree with what he said but you did cheat on his brother."

"Would you guys stop saying that? I didn't fully cheat!" You huffed crossing your arms. "It was more of a half-cheat..."

A month ago you made a big mistake. To make a long story short, you were at your boyfriend Tyler's frat party and got pissed on alcohol, then made out with a guy. Even worse it was the night of his birthday when he discovered you and the random guy kissing. In fairness, you thought he was Tyler since they seemed to favor each other so much. Not to mention that you were drunk. When you're drunk, you sometimes do really stupid shit under the influence.

"Also, he's not officially my ex I'm working on getting him back by the way." You said. Even though he hasn't replied to any of your texts and blocked you on social media, you still believe that he will come to realize what you did wasn't entirely bad and forgive you. Your touch starvation was exacerbated by his absence.

"Shouldn't you...give him space?" Sam spoke hesitantly.

You gave him a stare.

"Space? I've given him a month to forgive me!"

"That is not how forgiveness works." Cato shakes her head. " And I agree with Sam, maybe you should just let him breathe."

You didn't miss the way Sam looked at her as if she knew the answers to all the world's unanswered questions. God that guy is so whipped.

"You act as if I show up at his home with binoculars and watch him."

"No but you did make a fake account on Instagram to-" Sam started to say

"Sam!" You cut him off with a glare.

He closes his mouth and threw his hands up in defense.

"Do you not see what you did was wrong?" Cato asked with curiosity.

"Of course, I think that it's wrong. I even sent him flowers and chocolates but I do think it's a little bit dramatic to break up over a kiss ." You shrugged. It wasn't like you fully had sex with the guy, that's why you call it a half–cheat you were thankfully pulled apart by Tyler before it go into a full-on cheat. Your logic to others may hold some absurdity but to you, it made perfect sense.

"Besides this isn't our first time having a break." You added.

"Yeah but that break was due to the fact you thought he was cheating on you with his sister!"

"I didn't know who she was! It's not my fault he hadn't taken me to meet his family."

"Because they don't like you." Sam chimes in.

"Ouch." You say, even though you know it was true. His mom down to the damn family dog didn't like you. Naturally, you never let that bother you. His family wasn't the only people you've come across that didn't take a liking to you and most certainly wouldn't be the last. Would it be nice if you could actually get along with his family? Sure but It's also nice to just have a good dick in your life and someone to talk to, that was all you needed anyway. You're dating him not his family.

"Anyways that's enough talk about my love life." You didn't feel like getting ridiculed about your relationship, especially by two people who are too cowardly to be in one.

The loud mellow beats from a song traveled throughout the house. With the bass shaking the windowpanes threatening to burst at any given moment, though it wouldn't surprise you considering how old this house is. Amid the sounds of people laughing, yelling over the music, drunken whooping, doors opening and closing, and the occasional pop of a balloon. You and Cato were throwing down in a swarm of sweaty drunks. Red solo cups in both you and Cato's hands you didn't know how long you were dancing or where the hell Sam drifted off to, probably had to gather himself once he'd seen Cato taking off her jacket revealing her black leotard unveiling her slim figure. The costume is completely out of her comfort zone thanks to you who insists you both go as the cliché sexy bunny girls.

You didn't know how long you were dancing, but the air felt hot and tight, the fog machine certainly didn't help either mixed with the sweaty odor of dancing bodies. Fresh air is definitely needed. You took a sip from your cup and swayed to the beat of the song, while your dancing had relaxed Cato was full-on letting her wild-side show. The responsible and shy girl who never parties, now is having the time of her life shaking away the modesty she had prior. By the time she hit the dance floor, she was already on her second? or fourth cup. You didn't know, regardless she completely went against her statement about only having one drink. Nevertheless, you were relieved her Alessia Cara syndrome wasn't set in motion and that she was finally letting herself have fun and not hiding somewhere in the corner playing chess on her phone.

Tilting your head back you quickly drink the last bit of alcohol. Your glossy eyes drifted around the room hoping to find a hot guy to fill your empty void and take home. No one. Absolutely no one caught your eye. Looks like it'll be yet another lonely night as you wait for Cameron to take you back. With a deep sigh, you turn your attention back to Cato who looked as if fresh air was something she needs, tiny beads of sweat trailing down her temple and her hair slightly frizzed. You knew you probably didn't look any better, if not worse. As much as you love parties they get exhausting quickly.

"I'm sweating my tits off let's head out in the back." You shouted over the loud music.

Whether Cato heard you or not she still nods her head. Slightly uncoordinated and a little bit tipsy you proceeded to walk in the direction of the back of the house, ignoring the way your body brushed up against multiple sweaty bodies and obvious lustful stares from onlookers. It would be a whole different story if they were at least attractive. You reach the rear entrance which is located by the kitchen the glass knew it the frigid air hits your warm bare arms and legs. The wind felt brisk and smelt heavily of weed.

"Whew! I thought I was gonna die for a second." Cato pants as she chugs a bottle of water you didn't notice she took.

"No kidding." You said shaking your head as you took in the scenery in front of you.

Unlike inside, the outside wasn't decorated and didn't have that many people standing around. Outside furniture was occupied by multiple people. Looking around you notice there are two main areas on the patio everyone is hanging around one by the firepit which resembles a snooze fest you barely took a glance, the other area, however, grabbed your attention it's the area Sam is at so, of course, it would be the loud, full of life and obnoxious. Multiple people stood around the pong table rotating the small burning herb to each other as Nick and Sam's team go back in forth.

"Joe's here!?" Cato says right before you were about to make your way over to Sam's side.

"What?" You asked not knowing who she was referring to, Joes are few and far between in your life, such as your uncle, a creepy gas station clerk to whom you gave a fake number, and the quiet boy from second grade who sat next to you during class.

You didn't recognize this Joe though.

Cato's finger points in the opposite direction of a guy with neck-length hair sitting down on the mini sofa looking very disinterested and ready to go home. He took more interest in fiddling with his fingers than anything. The longer you stared at the more you realize how cute he is.

She turns her head and squints her eyes at you. "Joe from my study group, the one I told you that'll help you with your Physics? You were to meet him at the library last week."

Ohhh, right. That Joe. Although she assigned him to you as a tutor, you've never actually met him, only hearing about his extreme isolated ways and brilliance in science from Cato.

"Please me tell you went and didn't bail on him?" She expressed that when she noticed the look on your face.

"What? Pfft, no I would never!" You exclaim waving her off.

"Well, let's go say hi. He looks miserable. I'm sure he'd like to see some familiar faces." Cato said.

You scanned the area and noticed he was the only one sitting there in his little world. Only an empty bottle of Kirkland purified water sat on his lap and kept him company.

Oh no...

Without giving you a chance to protest and give her a bullshit excuse she drags you along in the direction of Joe. Shit, shit you deadpan because you did bail on the study date she arranged for you. To you, the proposition of going shopping seems way more fun than sitting in a library bored out of your mind while some know-it-all explains the properties of matter and energy. It was a pain in the ass in high school and even more so in college.

When you both approach you have a chance to get a really good look at him and wow is he extremely attractive? That was the only word you could think of to describe him. His dark blonde hair is long and creates a messy curtain bang that compliments his features well. Pink lips with a defined jawline you were sure models only dream of having. He looked unreal, too good to be true. This man is gorgeous and you can tell even though he's sitting that he's tall and has a nice body underneath the semi-baggy outfit.

You were not the type to feel timid, but when his enchanting blue eyes looked up at the two of you. It took everything in your power to not shy away.

"Never in a million years did I think I would see Joe Burrow at a party, let alone a Halloween one," Cato said, shocked while leaning down to give him a brief hug as you stood behind her side awkwardly.

You secretly prayed for him not to acknowledge you, the last thing you want is him bringing up your "study date".

Cato will kill you if she finds out you didn't make it. Ever since you barely graduated high school with her, she's made it her duty to be your personal academic advisor to help you throughout college. So far it has been a rough couple of months for you in terms of grades and you've concluded that education is about to come to an end for you.

Joe forces out a laugh like he's been caught doing something he shouldn't. "I could say the same to you. Ezekiel dragged me here."

"Ah I see, y/n did the same to me." Cato said turning his attention to you.

As soon as he made eye contact with you, he began to peer up at you. With a sense of wonder and concern?

Taking you by surprise, he asks, "How is your grandmother?"

What?

You furrowed your eyebrows looking confused before you responded. "Um?"

His cheeks flush a deeper red and his eyes downcast to his fingers which didn't stop fiddling in his lap. Jesus his hands were huge, and veiny. Although it was difficult, you were able to look away and focused what came out his mouth next.

"Well, apparently, you texted me last week letting me know you couldn't make it to the study date we had due to your grandma being ill. That's my bad if I pried too much, I was just concerned. You don't have to answer, that was stupid of me to ask." He begins to ramble and even stutter at one point.

There is a lot of opening and closing of your mouth while you are unable to find any words to say. It wasn't long before Cato's eyes were drawn over to you, and a sharp, glaring gaze immediately identified the problem.

You grimaced as you fiddle with the pink pearl necklace an item that was bought on your shopping spree. "Oh! Um, she's fine, alive... and well." You said with a smile.

Your memory of telling that lie is hazy at best.

As far as you know, your grandmother is in great health and is not even in the same country as you. Instead, she is enjoying retirement with her husband probably relaxing on the beach in Rio de Janeiro, certainly not cooped up in her house with severe hay fever.

You could feel Cato's heated stare and you didn't dare look at her instead you pretend to take an interest in the mini firepit as if it were the most interesting thing in the world right now.

"That's—uh good to hear." He stammers out quietly. His eyes were still trained on his fingers, you notice his right leg started to bounce up and down rapidly.

You feel a strange sensation creeping up on you like a dark cloud hovering over your head. You can't quite put your finger on it, but it feels like a mix of uneasiness and discomfort. It's been a while since you've felt this way, and you're not sure how to deal with it. You try to ignore it, but the feeling only grows stronger, until it's almost suffocating. You realize that what you're feeling is guilt and shame, two emotions that you thought you had left behind a long time ago. You've always considered yourself to be someone who lives life without regrets or faults, but now you can't deny the fact that you've done something that you're not proud of. The weight of your actions is heavy on your chest, and you don't know how to make it go away. You take a deep breath and try to face the guilt head-on, knowing that the only way to move forward is to acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them.

Right off the bat, you knew Joe lacked a lot of social skills and was not the type to be outspoken which is why he didn't question you further. He didn't seem like the kind of guy to be presumptuous in any way. And that made you feel even worse. You met this man less than two minutes and he's already waking up emotions within you.

Clearing your throat you straightened your posture as if you weren't fazed in the slightest. Though you felt like the worst person on the planet. "Well, Jeff—"

You were cut off by Cato swatting your arm. Looking at her in utter confusion as to what did you say wrong. She hissed out, "It's Joe"

Instead of giving you an offended look, he chewed the inside of his lip looking everywhere but at you. He didn't even bother correcting you. Judging by his demeanor you can tell he's feeling extremely awkward.

"Joe, do you mind if I take a seat right here?" You gave him another strained smile, pointing to the small space next to him.

He nods his head and watches you plop down with a sigh of relief. Your heels have been slowly killing you for the past few minutes, and you were on the verge of taking them off at any moment. However, even if you were wearing stockings, you would be too afraid to let your feet touch the filthy ground, no matter how protected they were.

Because of Joe's large frame taking up most of the space and your side being pressed against his, you could feel his body tense as he awkwardly folded his arms in his lap in an attempt to avoid any contact, like that seems to be his goal. And maybe it is considering the fact you'd just acknowledged him by the wrong name and to top it off you failed to show up last week.

You're almost certain he doesn't like you very much at the moment.

Maybe you can change that...

Just as you were about to say something to Joe, Cato beats you to the punch. "So, how long have you been hanging out here?"

"Um—" Joe pauses to take a deep sigh, his mouth twists as he thinks over his answer. "For about ten minutes or so, it's more tolerable out here than in there."

"That's true." She nods in agreement. "Have you had anything to drink?" Cato speaks again with a smile, but you could still see the irritation behind it not aimed at Joe but toward you. And you knew what it stemmed from.

"Of Alcohol? No—"

"No? That is horrible! We'll fetch one for you." She rushes out of her seat, which was across from you and Joe, before you can react she grabs your forearm, yanking you from your seat as you sputter out in surprise and confusion.

"I'm good you don't have to—" Joe spoke up but Cato was already headed towards the door that leads back inside the house. You passed Sam who looks confused watching Cato drag you back into the house.

Within seconds of entering the kitchen, she pulls you to a corner where fewer people are gathered and stares at you with a glare.

"Ow, what was all that for ?" You whined rubbing your arm.

"You are such a liar! Where do you get off??" She exclaims. You open your mouth to answer but she put her hand up to stop you. "That was rhetorical."

"I'm guessing this is about the tutor date?" The question came out more as a statement than anything.

"You think!? I was under the impression you were going to put in some effort." She sighs deeply with a sense of disappointment in her eyes. You felt like you were standing in front of your mother instead of your best friend. "Is there any way you can justify, with truth for disregarding his time to help you?"

Actually yes, you would not be standing here looking hot as you are if it wasn't for the shopping spree you did. However, you had a feeling she wasn't going to like that answer so instead you gave her the answer she wants to hear.

"Would you calm down? I'll just reschedule."

You were planning to do that anyway since your Physics grade was declining rapidly. Your professor's angry emails keep reminding you.

Cato laughs half-heartedly. "I wish you luck with that, Joe keeps to himself and does not tutor anyone. I had to give up my LEGO creator space shuttle explorer for him to agree to tutor you, now that was for nothing."

Her LEGO what?

"I'm sure he'll take pity on my grandmother and give me another shot." You said with a sly smile.

"You think he actually bought that?"

You never cared enough to see if others believed your excuses in the past, so it was difficult to tell. However, you care now, especially since you feel extremely guilty about the entire situation.

"Dunno, if he did or didn't I'm still gonna ask him."

Cato looks at you for a few seconds before sighing. "Why not just find another tutor?"

"Because It's unlikely I'll find one who looks like that." You weren't going to sugarcoat the reason for wanting him to be your tutor, his looks play a major part. The shopping spree would have been a no-go if you had known how hot he looked before you canceled out on him.

"Jesus, you are something different." She snorts as she grabs a can of beer.

"I take that as a compliment" You smile brightly.

"Well, if he agrees promise you'll take it seriously this time?"

"Come hell or high water, I'll be there." You responded quickly, ready to go back outside and accompany Joe again.

If he could change one thing tonight it will be texting Ezekiel earlier out of boredom. Joe thought maybe they'll end up playing super smash bros or catching a few sports games on TV. Instead, he had unintentionally allowed his roommate to coax him into going to a party he had zero interest in. Joe lives and breathes to stay in his own space so the idea of being surrounded by sweaty bodies, booze, and a bunch of horny people looking for someone to spend their night with has never sparked his interest. As soon as he enters the doorway he automatically wanted to turn back and spend his night copped inside his apartment, that's how he spends most of his nights anyway: tucked away from the world while entertaining himself with reruns of Animal Planet.

Now he's surrounded by the aroma of sweat from different bodies and loud music that will surely have his ears ringing once he leaves this place. God he hates these types of parties, and to make matters worse it's on Halloween his least favorite holiday.

He felt like the odd man out standing in the dusty corner of the keeping room that is adjacent to the kitchen taking tiny sips of water because he didn't want to rush the drink fearing he'll get thirsty soon after, then he'll have to re-collect his strength to navigate through the rowdy crowd to get another. There are a lot of people and almost all of them are drunk off their asses including Ezekiel who is grinding sloppily between two girls with devil horns.

As out of touch as he is with the scene in front of him, he couldn't knock anyone for having fun. And is glad his roommate is enjoying himself for the most part. No matter how ridiculous Ezekiel looked in his fireman costume which was just an opportunity to show off his abs in hopes to attract the attention of girls. One of the many things Joe does know is that Ezekiel is a fuckboy through and through. He drinks, smoke, party, and fuck around with nearly every girl on campus it's enough to make Giacomo Casanova appear like a gallant virgin. It's no surprise he found his remedy within minutes of arriving, whereas Joe is still struggling. Not that he's trying anyway. He doubts he'll find anything enjoyable at this party.

Joe sighed as he surveyed the crowd for the millionth time. He looked for the usual drunkenness, obnoxious yelling, and horny dancing of college students. He sees people in all kinds of costumes. There were witches and ghosts, superheroes and villains, and even a few monsters. The music is loud and unbearable, and everyone seems to be having a good time. A part of him wonders sometimes if he is wasting his life by being alienated since he was not tempted by indulging in that lifestyle. Having been that way since he was in high school, he occasionally felt sorry for his parents for having to deal with his reclusive behavior, however, he soon realized there are worse things he could do or be. In his view, being introverted never hurt anyone.

That's when he saw her. Suddenly it seems like there is no end to the misery inflicted upon him tonight.

Across the room, dressed in a revealing cat costume that shows off her curves, is Brooke Earle his oh-so-loving ex-girlfriend whom he'd only dated for six months. She was surrounded by a group of guys, laughing and visibly flirting with them. Joe felt a pang of familiarity and distress. He remembered how she used to flirt with other guys when they were together, and how she would always make him feel like he wasn't good enough for her. He remembers how she would get mad over the smallest things, and how she would blame him for everything that went wrong with their relationship. The air suddenly felt thick and his stomach churned at the sight of her.

He'd broken up with her a few months ago but still felt like he was under a spell. He was afraid that if he ever saw her again he'd be drawn back into her toxic world. She looks beautiful with her long blonde curls and tight catsuit, but he knew her beauty was only skin-deep.

Joe felt a wave of anxiety wash over him. He didn't want to be in the same room as her, let alone give her an opportunity to talk to him. Without a second thought, he turn to make himself blend in with the crowd but it was useless considering he stuck out like a sore thumb since he was towering over nearly everyone in the room and is the only one not wearing a costume.

Then he heard her call his name.

"Wow I must be dreaming, I didn't know you were coming tonight!" Brooke says walking over to him with a smile. "You look nervous?"

Joe could feel his face turning red and his palms began to sweat as he looks down at the ground. He doesn't know what to say to her, they weren't even close to friends. He didn't want to be rude, but he also didn't want to engage with her either.

"I,uh, you look great I wasn't expecting you to be here." He mumbles. If he did he would've stayed put in his apartment.

She laughs a sound that's equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. "You weren't expecting me? I wasn't expecting you," she said. " Well, I'm glad I finally ran into you, we should catch up sometime."

That's the last thing he'd want. Even though they attended the same college, he had avoided her at all costs since their breakup. It was easy for him to do so because he rarely goes out anyway.

He felt like he was suffocating as he shook his head. "No, I don't think that's a good idea," he said. "You are not going to wield yourself in my life again."

She looked taken back as if that was the last thing she'd expect him to say. "What? Why not?" she asked.

He took a deep breath trying to find the right words to explain. "I just don't think you're healthy for me to be around," he said. " you're not someone I want to be my girlfriend let alone someone who I can catch up with."

Brooke looked stunned and a bit hurt. But he knew he had to be honest with her. No more walking on eggshells.

He didn't let her utter another word before making his way toward the patio door. Ezekiel gave him a questionable look, worried about his friend's abrupt exit. However, he reassured him with a simple shake of his head to let him know everything was fine even though it was not.

As soon as he stepped outside, he let out a huge sigh of relief. He was finally able to breathe in some fresh air and escape the toxic presence of his ex.

Joe felt a mix of emotions as he drags his feet to the other side of the patio and sat down on the surprisingly clean outside sofa, ignoring the loud whoops and cheering by the small crowd that gathered around the beer pong table. He tried to shake the feeling of seeing her again but she had a hold on him. One that is negative. It was the last thing he wanted to do to himself again.

Untwisting the cap on his water bottle and taking the last swig. His stomach still felt fluttered and on edge hoping she doesn't decide to follow him outside.

As he sat on the patio, the flickering flames of the small firepit cast an orange glow across his face. He began to stare into the fire, lost in thought as the unpleasant memories his ex he desperately tried to keep away began to flood his brain. All those troublesome arguments she'd purposely try to start just so she can have an excuse to walk out and cheat left a nasty taste in his mouth. He thought about all the hurtful things she had said to him by now he knew she shouldn't faze him but it was hard to let go of the memories of someone who'd been such a big part of his life.

As the fire crackled and popped along with the loud chatter coming from the other side of the patio, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to find the strength to not just say screw this party and leave Ezekiel to walk thirty-five miles home.

Suddenly he hears the sound of high heels clicking in his direction he looks up to see his friend from work-study, Cato, walking toward him with you in tow. He felt his heart skip a beat once his eyes landed on you, standing there dressed in a pink bunny costume. You look beautiful and vibrant. Joe feels embarrassed to admit that he's developed a small crush on you which is why he agreed to Cato's arrangement with the study date, if it were anyone else he wouldn't have done it.

But that backfired badly when you didn't show up.

He remembers walking out of the library feeling disappointed. He looked forward to that study date all week long. It was going to allow him to finally have a conversation with you and show you how smart he is. He'd waited there for hours until he got the text from you about your grandmother being sick which he believed until he inquired about her well-being to you.

The look on your face told him all he needed to know. Your face was tense, your eyes were darting around, and you seemed to be avoiding his gaze.

At first, he didn't know what to make of it. Had what he said upset you? Did your grandmother's health gotten worse?

Then you spoke, and he realized what was going on. You had lied to him. You made up an excuse for not showing up and now you're standing there underneath Cato's heated stare. Which tells him she didn't know about the lie you told.

He felt a mix of emotions. On one hand, he was somewhat hurt that you told him a terrible lie because he was truly concerned. Furthermore, he felt more awkward and embarrassed when, seconds later, you called him by the wrong name, which made him wonder if you were paying any attention to him at all.

Joe looked over to Cato who made small conversations while ultimately still glaring at you. He just sat there, feeling uncomfortable and flustered due to the fact you were sitting next to him and the aroma of your sweet perfume enchanting his senses. Before he knew it Cato was rushing to get him a drink he tried to decline the offer but it went in one ear and out the other. She urges you to follow her into the house as he sat there by himself once again unsure what to do next.

As he sat there waiting for your return, he watched the frat guys on the other side of the patio play beer pong. They were loud and obnoxious, shouting, and high-fiving each other after every shot. He felt a twinge of familiarity when he recognized one of the guys, Sam Hubbard. Ezekiel brought him around a few times and they'd only had a handful of conversations. Even though he wasn't used to talking with guys like Sam (excluding Ezekiel) who was outgoing, boisterous, and a bit of an airhead. There was still something about him to Joe that made him feel at ease. He seemed genuinely friendly and curious.

He was about to pull out his phone busy himself with playing a chess tournament when he heard someone call out his name.

"Joe! What's up, man?" It was Sam, walking from across the patio in his direction.

"Hey, Sam," He greets back standing up from his seat to give him dap.

"Dude it's been a while since I've seen you! What brings you to this party? You don't strike me as a party guy."

Joe shrugs. "Ezekiel wanted me to check it out, I don't know anyone here besides him and Cato."

He didn't bother to mention Rebecca it's best if she's kept locked out away in the past.

"Well, you know me!" Sam said, clapping him on the back before leaning closer to his ear. " Say, uh, are you and Cato like a thing? I saw you guys hug or whatever.. not that I'm a stalker—"

Sam continues to ramble until Joe stops him.

"Cato and I aren't together, we just know each other from a study group," Joe assures him so that he be free of Sam's beer breath wandering in his face.

"Oh! Really, man? That's great!" He throws an around Joe's shoulder excitedly. "Me and the boys were going to play truth or dare wanna play?"

Truth or Dare? He hadn't played that games since he was in elementary. It wasn't his favorite either, he hated being put on the spot in front of strangers.

He went to open his mouth to decline when he sees you walk back out onto the patio with Cato.

"What are you guys up to?" You ask observing the scene as you walk over to the two men.

"Joe just agreed to play truth or dare with the boys and me, you girls want in?"

You took a glance at Joe who was already looking at you and judging by his expression it didn't look like he got a chance to have a say in the matter.

"Only if other girls are playing too," Cato said crossing her arms, not wanting to play Truth or Dare with a group of just men. And honestly, you don't blame her.

"Of course! Yeah, hell yeah. Troy got his girl, Danielle. Ashley—" He pauses looking up to think of some more people. "Oh! And Alix from Cheer."

"Well, I'm in!" You beam. Not wanting to turn down any potential entertainment and playing those types of games brings out the best.

"Cool, I'm gonna gather up the rest and bring the bottles out." Sam grins patting Joe on the back before scurrying off.

Soon after, everyone crowded around on the patio. Forming a circle around the firepit. You took your previous spot next to Joe whose leg started to bounce up and down, you took pity on the guy because unlike before he was surrounded by a group of drunken party-goers something he was most likely trying to stay away from inside.

"Okay, here are the rules: You can either choose to take a dare or take a shot." Sam holds up a bottle of Patron Silver Tequila.

You frown in disappointment. "I thought we were playing Truth or Dare. Do you have to bring alcohol into everything?"

"It makes it more fun if you don't like it, don't play," Nick spoke up with irritation

"I'm just speaking for the people who don't drink, dickhead."

And by people you mean Joe, the drink Cato had given him is still full. You'd only seen him take a small sip which was out of appreciation. Seeing that gave you a conclusion he wasn't much of a drinker.

"Well, we know you're not one of those people. Little Miss "Alcoholic." Nick spoke.

"Really? That's all you got? I've been called worse by better." You said while flipping him off.

A few people chuckled, including Joe. Your stomach did a flip at the sound of laughter coming from him.

"Watch it now." A redhead spoke who is propped on Nick's lap.

"And what's gonna happen if she doesn't?" Cato raises her eyebrows at the girl. Tension began to arose as everyone look between you and Cato and the redhead with expectancy.

Sam clears his throat." Alright guys, let's start!"

The game starts with Sam daring Troy to give Danielle a lap dance which left everyone looking at the scene with amusement because Troy couldn't dance if his life depended on it. The game continues, with dares getting more and more ridiculous. On Cato's turn, she surprisingly picked "Dare", which turned out to be a harmless one. She had to call a nearby 7-Eleven and ask if they were open. So far no one has picked Joe and you could tell he was feeling at ease. Until it was Sam's turn again.

"Joe, it's your turn my man, Dare or Drink?" He grins face flustered from liquor.

Joe hesitated for a moment, not sure what to do. He's never played this kind of game before and he didn't want to look like a party pooper in front of you .

But then, he made his decision. "Dare," he said, trying to sound confident thinking he'll get an easy one like Cato.

However, by seeing Sam's growing smirk, he knew that wasn't going to be the case.

"Alright then, I dare you to ask any girl at this party to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with you."

Joe felt his heart sank. That's the last thing he wanted to do but he knew he had to follow up with the dare. He hesitated he didn't want to pick anyone he didn't know and be stuck in a closet with someone he didn't like.

Of course, he had you on his mind, but he doubts you'll agree—

"I'll play with you," You spoke up, with a smile while looking at him. "If that's okay?"

He felt his heart skip a beat. You looked at him with such anticipation. Not trusting his voice he nods his head in agreement. The rest of the guys excluding Nick hollers and whistles as you stood up holding out your hand for him to take which he does. He ignores the tingles he felt as his hand engulfs yours. Taking note of how soft and delicate they feel.

Sam led you both into the house to the upstairs closet. On the journey there you kept a firm grip on his hand, and as you weave through the crowds of people Joe caught the attention of Ezekiel who was still sandwiched between the two girls. "That's my boy! Go ahead and getcha some!" He yells out excitedly.

Joe felt his cheeks fluster, he doesn't know what to expect since he's never played the game seven minutes in Heaven but he knew it wasn't going to be any of that. By the sound of it just means that you two would be locked in a closet for seven minutes what could you two possibly do in such a small duration of time?

"Joe! Joe!" Brooke suddenly appears." Where are you going?" she asks him while giving you a sharp look. To which you reciprocated by looking at her unfazed.

He ignores her and motion you to keep walking. While Brooke looks on in anger and jealousy. Even though he didn't care whether she feels those types of emotions or not, a part of him felt good that she was seeing him with you. Maybe that'll show her once and for all she is not the girl he's chasing after anymore.

"Okay here we are you two have fun, remember seven minutes!" Sam cheesed as the three of you stop in front of an old closet at the end of the hall.

He ushers you two in and just as he was about to close it, your hand shot out to stop it. "Look after Cato don't let any weirdos near her. "

"You got it." He said with a salute before shutting the door leaving you and Joe In the cramped space. The only thing that accompany you two was the dusty light bulb above which only provided dim lighting.

It was tight and dingy in the small closet. You didn't care though, you were too busy staring at Joe as he towers over you, his entire physique is large. His breathing is soft and you can feel his body close to yours. There was a long moment of silence before you decided to try and break the ice.

"So," You clear your throat, rocking back on your heels. "You don't like parties."

Joe chuckles softly feeling his nerves ease up a bit. "Was that meant to be a question?"

"Just an observation." You responded trying to look anywhere but at him which was quite impossible since he was the only thing in your view due to his height.

"Well, your observation is correct." He sighs feeling himself relax. " I'm more of a....loner if that's what you want to call it. So these types of events aren't really on my radar."

"What is on your radar?"

"Being occupied with school and football." He says.

That piqued your interest Sam's always trying to get you to attend the school's football games. "You play football?."

"Well sometimes, I'm the third-string quarterback." Joe looks rather embarrassed to say as of you'll make fun of him, but you were just left confused. Much like any sports-related talk would have you.

"I'm sure you're great!" You beam a smile at him showing off your pearly whites.

"Thanks." He says with a smile.

You stood there in thought about your earlier introduction. Mentally cringing at how stupid you must've looked by not remembering your lie and how you addressed him by the wrong name.

"Hey, um, about the tutoring thing. I'm sorry." You said.

"Sorry about canceling out on me? Or the fact you gave me a horrible lie about your grandmother?" Joe said with amusement as he crossed his arms leaning on the door.

Damn, Cato was right he didn't buy it. You thought.

You let out a defeated sigh. "Both,"

He stares at you for a second squinting his eyes in thought. "What did you do that day anyways?"

"I made plans to go shopping. " You mumble looking down at your heels, expecting him to scoff or sigh in disappointment. The reaction you were used to by many.

"And you didn't think I'd want to go? I'm a bit hurt." He places a hand over his heart.

Your eyes light up as you looked up at him. "What?"

"Yeah," he shrugs pushing himself off the door. "You look like you know a thing or two about fashion and I desperately need some pointers."

"I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not. " You said slowly still eyeing him.

He threw his hands up in surrender. "No sarcasm. Just want to give you a heads up come the next tutor date if you so happen to have the urge to go shopping again just let me know, and I'll be happy to join you."

"Next.... tutor date?" You tilted your head in awe you were almost certain he wouldn't be so willing to ever offer you any help again.

Joe chewed the inside of his cheek before saying. "You don't have to come—"

"No! I want to! It's just..."You trailed off trying to find the right words. "I wasn't expecting that."

"How come?"

You shrugged. "Figured you'd hate enough to not tutor me."

"I'll admit... I was a little hurt. But it wasn't enough to make me hate you, trust me on that." He says the last part quietly while his eyes lock directly on yours.

There was an air of infatuation in his eyes as he looked at you with a shy smile. You didn't miss the glimmer of interest in his expression.

A moment of silence fell in the small closet the only sound that could be heard is the thumping bass from the music downstairs. The proximity between you and Joe is so close when you look up at him for the millionth time you notice a small piece of cobweb in his hair. More likely due to the fact his head directly touches the ceiling.

"You have something in your hair." You stated.

He blushes. "Oh, thanks for letting me know"

"Here, let me get it for you." You gently remove the cobweb from his hair.

"Thanks." He says.

Taking him by surprise you stepped closer to him, your chest pressed against his. You hear his breath hitch by your movement and see his Adam's apple bob up and down when he swallows thickly. "Your hair is very pretty." You breathe out reaching up to swirl one of your manicured fingers through his hair.

Joe blinks at you, not finding the strength to formulate any words he could feel his face heats up bashfully.

"You're very pretty too." He mumbles so low you almost didn't catch it.

You open your mouth with only the tip of your tongue showing. With sparkling eyes, you decide to test the waters a bit when you lean closer to him as if you're telling him a secret. "Wanna make out?"

"What?!" Joe sputters out, with wide eyes.

"Do you want to make out with me?" You repeated slowly to give him more time to comprehend every word.

"Um—" Joe begins to say before pausing he didn't know how to respond.

"It's fine if you don't want to, no pressure." You shrug as if wouldn't faze you if he agrees or not. But deep down you eagerly wanted to release some of the sexual frustration that's been pent up for weeks without Tyler and Joe seems like the perfect candidate.

Joe shuffles his feet. "You want to make out in here?"

"That's kinda the main point of this game." You giggle, watching him pinch his lips." You never played Seven Minutes in Heaven?"

"No, I thought we were just going to talk." He chuckles nervously his eyes crinkled at the corners. Your mouth opened to assure him that you both can simply talk if that is what he feels comfortable with. Before you can let out another word he speaks again. "But I do want to kiss you if that's okay?"

"Go for it." You tell him, subtly running your tongue over your bottom lip and tasting the pink strawberry lip gloss you applied earlier.

Joe's hands fidget nervously by his sides, and his eyes keep flickering to your puffy lips. You can tell he's nervous, but it's kind of endearing. You almost started to wonder if he's ever kissed anyone before. Gradually, he leans in closer, his breath hot on your nose and cheeks. You can feel his heart racing, and it makes your pulse quicken. His perfect proportion lips glisten after his tongue swipes over them when your arm reaches up to curl the back of his head pulling him down to your height. It was a little awkward with Joe having to crane his neck downwards. As your lips meet, you were met with the softness of his lips, it wasn't shocking in any way since you knew just by gazing at them you were going to feel satisfied.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds with you being the one who pulled away. You notice his hands were awkwardly by his side as if he didn't know what to do with them. A breathless chuckle left your lips at his tense posture.

"What's funny?" He asks looking down at you with a worried look.

"You just need to relax." You say, reassuring, with a smile. You took your thumb to wipe away the pink gloss you left on his lip before slowly trailing both hands down his long arms to grasp his hands which feel a little clammy. Without breaking eye contact you guide his hands toward your lower waist. "Is this okay?"

Joe finds himself completely lost in your grasp, unable to ignore his hand placement. This was more than okay, there's a certain look in his eye that says, "I want more," and you suddenly realize Joe is a bit different than the shy, quiet-spoken guy you met an hour ago. His hands travel down further until both rest on your backside a surprised gasp left you when he yanks you more into him before attaching his lips to yours. This time his kiss held more confidence, and your lips worked together perfectly, he clearly knew what he was doing this go around and you loved it.

The large fingers of his hand splay over your plush cheeks that protrude from your leotard as he gives it a firm pinch, which makes you gasp again in shock, he takes this opportunity to slide his tongue between your lips and gently massage it as he does so. He begins to turn you both around. Resulting in your back coming in contact with the door. There Joe becomes more feral, his tongue prodded between your parted lips, teeth biting on your lips firmly. It was dizzying mostly because it's been a minute since you've had some air so you broke away. He didn't mind it though because he began to continue his kiss on your cheek down to your neck.

He's truly taking you by surprise, when you walked into this you thought it'll be you who take control. However, right now Joe is showing absolutely no restraint. And you love it. You can tell he's a man who appears reserved, but there is something lurking beneath the surface, a wildness you feel but not quite make out. A primal desire you know is there.

"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this with you." He said in between kisses on the slope of your shoulder and neck.

"Really?" A breathless moan escapes from you, wondering how the hell was that possible when tonight was the first time you guys had a proper introduction to each other.

He must follow you on Instagram. You got quite a following on there plus that's where most guys see you at anyway along with parties which you knew most likely he don't attend.

"Mm-hm," He hums as his hands settle on the curve of your backside, inhaling sharply when your hips rub against the hardness that pokes through his jeans.

It wasn't until he lifted one of your legs to curve around the waist that you realized the problem he had, too caught up in the feel of his lips biting and sucking on your neck. You giggle at the tickling sensation as he continued to hold your leg around him snugly.

He mumbles something incoherent due to the fact his face is nuzzled at your neck, then he lifted your other leg up so now both your legs are wrapped around his waist. A squeal left you at being suddenly lifted off the ground, it didn't take long for a blush to bloom and spreads throughout your entire body as he holds your more firmly. His arms are so strong and his mouth is back pressed on yours. While his hands cup your backside holding you against the door.

Your arms were clinging around his shoulders as he nibbles on your bottom lip softly biting into it before running his tongue over it.

An intense thrill runs through your body as a result of the sensation. As his heart races, so does yours, and you both feel it. It's such pure and absolute bliss that you can almost forget that there's a whole world out there. You just want to stay in this moment forever. As you cling to each other, locked in an embrace and lost in this moment, you feel completely and utterly connected. You've never experienced this feeling before not even with Tyler.

You don't know how long this make-out session was and you're pretty sure it was well over seven minutes. You weren't complaining though because you were just about to give this man something he wouldn't forget. Just as you were about untangle your legs from his waist a loud knock made you both jump.

He pulls back, his breath heavy, and his hands holding you gently. You dropped down to your feet just as the door swing open revealing Sam and Cato along with everyone else who was on the deck excluding Nick looking at you two with amusement.

"Had fun?" Sam grins, his eyes dancing back and forth between you and Joe.

You smile and chuckle at his question. "That's an understatement." you reply feeling a chill on your neck due to the wetness Joe's mouth left. As you stepped out the closet Cato looks at you with a "tell me everything" look.

"Give me all the details when we get to the car." Cato said quietly to you pulling you toward the stairs.

Turning your head to look at Joe you weren't surprise to see him standing there with a deep redness on his cheeks while his lips were coated with your lip gloss as the guys crowd around him letting out loud whistles and whoops. His eyes connect with your as you walk away, you called out

"I look forward to our next tutor date."

Joe's mind is racing as you disappear. But a smile spreads across his face, as you just confirmed everything he had just hoped.

Taglist: @blu3jeanbaby @tigertales9 @wickedfun9 @joeburreauxsworld @cherry2stems @luvjoe9 @maricciardo @lonelywiththestars @clumsyjoeb @certifiedlesbianbaddie @idyllicbarb @balanceingrace

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x black reader #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow fanfic

[clavissionary-position]

Gilbert vs. Azel

(crack but also contains some main story and sequel route spoilers)

Azel: (standing saint-like and unbothered at the end of Gilbert’s pointed cane)

Azel: And now that you’ve learned that little factoid, feel free to donate this—(skewers a receipt onto the cane)—exact amount to me. You know my contact information, right?

Azel: [email protected]. I’m telling you that free of charge, of course. It’s common knowledge, but it’s okay to be embarrassed if you didn’t know.

Gilbert: Hehe. As it happens, all of your other contact information is also common knowledge. (Retracts his cane to glance at the receipt) To me, anyway.

Azel: I’m happy for you. That means there’s no need to send any more rando princes to my country. It must be gratifying for a mortal to be so creepy, I mean knowledgeable.

Gilbert: Oh no! I’m not the one mystically window-watching into every bedroom ever, am I, Mister [email protected]?

Azel: May I ask why you seem so envious about that? Your current god complex isn’t lacking by any means.

Gilbert: Well, as you know, you can never know too much. Hehe.

Azel: You’d be surprised. By the way I also charge interest on any pledged donations that aren’t paid off in a timely manner. You will find my rates are completely reasonable.

Gilbert: For a prince.

Azel: For a man with eclectic means.

Gilbert: Ah. (smile deepens) While I’m not Silvio, it’s not a bad idea to attack me through my investments. But unfortunately for you, I don’t pay any bills I can’t read.

Azel: Tsk, tsk. It’s not a good look to lie to an omniscient character.

Gilbert: (pouts) I’m not lying. I mean, this handwriting is pen vomit. It looks like a tiny animal tried to imitate what it thinks a human being writes like.

Azel: (maintains his generous smile even though his eye is twitching) I wrote the receipt out in front of you not even ten seconds ago. Had I known you suffered from such catastrophic lapses in memory, I’d have gone to Prince Chevalier first.

Gilbert: Ahaha! Maybe you should have. He’d have ended this conversation much earlier. With much more blood.

Azel: (grimace) I’m happy we can agree on that much, at least. So in the interest of parting ways as soon as possible… (points at the receipt)

Gilbert: How shameless. So you think you get to order an Obsidianite prince around? I almost admire your foolhardy levels of courage. But I think there’s something that needs to be made clear.

Gilbert: Tigers, you see, are at the top of the food chain. They answer to no man. No god.

Gilbert: Sometimes to bunnies, but that’s the exception, not the rule.

Azel: I don’t contest that. But unicorns, you see…

Azel: (appears to glow under the mid-day sun) …are not even on the food chain.

Azel: (eyes sparkling) They prance-fly in their own pastel dimension, unfettered by this world’s foolish ways and uncivilized biologies.

Gilbert: Hehe, that’s a creative way of saying you’ve noped out of reality.

Azel: (under his breath) Your face is a creative way of saying ‘punch me’.

Gilbert: Hm? What was that?

Azel: (saintly smile) Nothing, nothing. Just praying for you.

Azel: (scribbles an extra surcharge to the receipt) You’re learning so many new things today, Gil. I’m sure you’ll achieve a grown-up’s level of knowledge long before you reach a grown-up’s level of physical stature.

Gilbert: You know, you shouldn’t directly plagiarize insults from whatever is popular at the moment. If it’s too mainstream, it loses its bite.

Gilbert: (dramatic shrug) I really thought a living god would be much more inspired than that, but I guess I was wrong.

Azel: I have better things to do with my time than murder normies, stalk bunnies, and brainstorm funnies.

Gilbert: Are you sure about that? That second point, I mean. A little bunny told me about some very interesting dreams she’s been having as of late.

Azel: (serious expression) I’m glad you brought that up. Can you tell your pet to quit stalking me? I’m a very busy man and I have no interest in starting a harem.

Gilbert: (tilts his head with an evil smile) Tell her yourself.

Azel: …..?

That night in the rosy dream world…

Azel: Oh, goddammit, not this goddamn stupid dream again! (kicks one of the columns) Urgh, that hurts!

Emma: Um, A….zel? Oh hey, I remembered your name this time! Azel, are you here today?

Azel: Of course I’m here. If I’m here, you’re here. If you’re here, I’m here. If you have a cure, I’m all ears.

Emma: Aw, that’s a cute poem.

Azel: Shut-up.

Emma: Right, anyway, I’m sorry about this. (points a gun at him)

Azel: …

Azel: …….

Azel: (watches the crystalized rose on the table begin to rot)

Azel: (sighs)

Azel: Does he want a discount on the bill, is that what this is about?

Emma: (realizes what she’s pointing and scampers to put the gun away) Oh shi… I’m sorry!

Crystalized Rose: (goes back to being uwu)

Emma: I meant to hold out my hand in a truce!

Azel: Truce? I don’t remember being at war with you.

Emma: Apparently we are? Stuff gets twisted around in Gil’s head all the time. Although usually there’s at least a grain of truth to it. But basically I’ll stop stalking your dreams if you stop stalking mine. I don’t know how, but I figure this is a good start.

Emma: (looks up at the dreamy clouds) See, Gil? We’re talking it out. Stop strapping your gun to my thigh while I sleep, please? It tickles and it makes me want to pee!

Azel: This is our dream. He can’t hear you.

Emma: I know, but I heard that if you shout stuff in your dreams, it's more likely you'll remember it when you wake up.

Emma: AZEL IS DEFINITELY THE GUY WE'RE TRYING TO TAKE DOWN IN THE CURRENT STORY ARC!

Emma: I NEED TO STOP CASUALLY TELLING HIM NATIONAL SECRETS!

Azel: (covering his ears) You're the reason I wake up with seven hundred bags under my eyes.

Emma: So... truce?

Azel: Yeah, sure, truce, whatever. (goes to shake her hand)

Emma: (points gun at him again) I'm sorry, I can't let you actually physically touch my hand or Gil will literally kill you.

Azel: THIS IS A DREAM WORLD

Azel: I’m not even going to tell you that your love is cursed. Your entire man is cursed.

#ikemen prince #ikepri spoilers #ikepri gilbert spoilers #gilbert von obsidian #ikepri azel #incorrect quote folder

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Dayum i had a Murder Drones dream bruh

I'll tell ya the clips i remember from it, if any

Soooo there's a point where N is inside a school and he's looking around for sumthin' idfk and he stumbles upon a little girl drone with white eyes and i think jet black hair?? And she's obviously a fun lover that doesn't wanna be here but she recognizes it's a necessity so she rolls with it and does her stuff as told– okay so apparently she's gotta finish some homework about animals, what they are and what they do, the sort, and she's like- talking a lot about her home and how her family has to pay for wifi or sumthin' etc etc and N just goes "oh is that homework? Do you have to describe animals? I can help!"

And then the girl drone (who i'm calling Leni) just goes "yeah it's homework, boring but i gotta do it- it's something about animals, what they do and all- i sortaaaaa didn't finish it because i was bored out of my mind..." And N just spots a Sonic figurine on a shelf somewhere and goes "hey, what if you talked about that guy over there?" He means the Sonic figurine on the shelf, "what does a hedgehog do? Does it like anything? You could describe a hedgehog, it's an animal!" And Leni is just. "Heh, thanks dude!" And my lordy the smile N gives it kills me oughhhh yes baby boy you did a help a girl with homework!!! Uzi is lucky to have you ough

Another clip! There's the typical big dumb creepy guy that puts kids in detention trope! Yeah he just scruffs one like a cat and tosses them onto a hook, hanged like cloth (NOT HURT THOUGH! ALIVE AND HEALTHY!) And they're just "hey dude what did i do?! Get me off this thing!!" And the big creepy guy just. Giggles at 'em as he walks away. Idfk what else happened after that- but it has to do with N???? Did he fuck up????? He's a good boy who did no wrong wtf he stopped killing a long time ago!!! The Uzi simp allegations are exaggerrated!!!!!! Leave him alone bitch!!!!!!!!

So apparently the detention drone is just like. Roaming around the school, and N is just staying out of it's sight at all times– keeping Leni safe from it too because they're buddies now and he's a good boy– and at some point taps his foot on the floor lightly to make a sound to test if it can hear and... It does not. It's big stupid AND probably deaf. Or they're just lucky idk lol

Also Cyn is there too. There's a moment after the whole detention drone shebang where Cyn pops up behind some doors and is accompanied by like- another girl drone with ponytails and black hair that is also Solver infected, and she's already gotten the eldritch claws for hands too so she's probably been infected before even like- Camp Fever, to give you an idea of the time frame, and Cyn is just. "You said "shit" now you're getting punished" and apparently getting taken out of the school is a punishment??? They're just. Grabbed and Cyn fuckin' flies away with them both, leaving them with the rest of the gæng in a like- place with two random drop pods like the ones from episode 1 and 3, and fun fact! V and Uzi are there! They're alive and well! And yes N hugs Uzi first thing, ig Leni gets to meet the rest of the bunch now lol.

Oh yeah there's also Tessa i guess lmfao idk what she's lookin' for now

#murder drones #serial designation n #serial designation v #uzi doorman #md oc #Leni counts as an oc fuck you #i guess she's public domain too since she just popped up in a dream and all and tbh i just don't claim ownership of Leni #i only claim ownership of the fact that she popped up in a dream and is a thing now lol #tessa james elliot #murder drones tessa #murder drones cyn #absolute solver #random dream #Murder Drones dream ig

[leggerefiore]

if you are interested: animatronic submas; in an abandoned railway-themed amusement park; considered cursed or inhabited by evil spirits; with a series of still unsolved murders. Reader - afab? - possibly a former employee the submas were madly obsessed with; returned to visit it for halloween. if you want to make it really macabre ... maybe with Reader transplanted into the body of an animatronic that the submas have been preparing especially for her for years? if you don't want, that's ok too

Return of evil robot men and some of my horror writing lmao

‼️‼️‼️

cw: basically yandere, horror, reader dies, she/her reader, robot au

‼️‼️‼️

It had been around two years since you had worked at the theme park.

Your job had begun at the near-end of the park's life, having been dealing with bleeding money from seemingly endless lawsuits which made park repairs harder, which led to more lawsuits. It was not a bad job when you considered it. You had been a ride attendant for a subway themed area which featured animatronic conductors who spoke and took care of the riders. You just took the pay and made sure they met the ride criteria. Occasionally, you would shift to clean the area you monitored or filled in for another ride. The conductors, two identical bots, often followed you around wherever you went. You assumed it was to watch you for management to be assured you were doing your job.

They were a bit creepy then. In their best quality, their silver eyes shined through the darkness, which sparked imagery of light catching an animal's eyes. They lacked an ability to properly express, so one was permanently stuck with a grin and the other with a frown. You shivered at their uncanny effect upon your mind. The job was nice, but the robots were creepy. Perhaps the scenery was also aiding in how ominous the bots appeared. Everything was just past date with a hint of mould, rot, or rust to leave you with a knowledge of age. The office area appeared more familiar to grandparent's home rather than a modern administrative area.

When the place closed, and you were let go, you were still sad to see it go, however. It may have been antiquated, but there was a certain charm to it all. As you packed up your stuff to leave for the last time in the break room, you heard the sound of robotic joints working to move as the twin conductor bots entered. The smiling one, Emmet, and the frowning one, Ingo, gazed at you with empty eyes. Their frozen expressions sent a chill down your spine.

“Oh, yes, I suppose you both deserve a goodbye, huh?” you tried to lighten the mood for yourself. The bots continued to keep eye contact with you without a word. A nervous laugh escaped your throat. Ingo took a careful step toward you.

“… Is the park truly closing?” his generated voice almost sounded human.

“Yep,” you told him, “Today's my last day, so this is likely the last time we'll ever see each other again.” For a moment, you swore Emmet's frozen face fell into a frown. Nothing truly had happened, though. You were simply panicked.

“I see…” he gave something akin to a sigh despite his lack of breathing capabilities, “May we walk you out? We are co-workers, are we not?”

“Ah, no need for that!” you shook your head, “I'm going to miss my ride if I don't go now. Sorry, bye!”

Why had you been so afraid? You knew they were simply just following their programming.

~

You now stood outside the decrepit park, with the chilled winds blowing your coat in its path. Leaves swirled around you. The nature around seemed as dead as the park. Halloween had arrived, and you felt inspired to visit your old place of employment for a thrill. It had become a popular spot for teenagers who wanted to engage in urban exploration to pop into. Many rumours came from the location now. Stories about missing people never returning after venturing in, ghosts of people who apparently died on the attractions appearing to those who trespass, and two robots who attempted to kill anyone who entered the park without proper authorisation.

The last part stung a bit. You figured they would leave the twin bots behind, but it hurt to have it confirmed. They may have made you uncomfortable, but repurposing them was honestly the best thing to do. Shaking your head at the concern for man-made products, you crawled through the open window with ease. Glass cracked under your feet as you stood in the old office again. You expected a mess, but it seemed orderly. Almost like someone had been taking proper care of it. The desk and its chair were pushed together. The desktop, while absolutely unusable, sat as you remembered it as the owner had it. Some graffiti was on the wall, while others had apparently been attempted to be scrubbed away.

Not really scary, just unsettling.

Your walk began from the office into the central courtyard area. It had been previously alight with neon lights and streetlamps, but now found itself in a seemingly endless darkness. You shuddered at the sight. It was never this dark even after close when it was still open. Clicking on your flashlight, you took in the state of the greenery. Ivy grew wildly over anything and everything it could, weeds popped up between any gap in the concrete, and leaves were left to rot on the ground in a never-ending cycle. Broken glass laid about from where it had been smashed for whatever variety of reasons. It was eerie and depressing to see the park like this.

Wandering around, you attempted to visit all the locations that had been places you worked at previously or enjoyed. The break room was empty, yet the fridge was still running. Its low hum breaking the endless silence of the park for but a moment. You stepped closer to it and swung the door open to reveal what the appliance held. A perfectly normal chocolate cake sat inside. You almost giggled at the icing heart drawn on it and the 'I love you' scrawled inside. Who had done this? What a weird bit to commit to. Looking around, you tried to spy a camera anywhere. None were to be seen, however. Maybe it was for a prank that had yet to be initiated yet. Either way, you shut the fridge.

Next, you visited the fun house area. It was always fun to get lost in there and claim you were helping a lost child. You wandered around the mirror maze in wonder. It turned out it was much harder in the dark. You hated the reflection of your flashlight in the mirrors. Occasionally, it would shine back as what almost appeared to be like eyes peering in. It was irrational. When you managed to get out, you hated to admit how dizzy you felt.

Afterwards you visited your favourite food stand, the teacup ride, and then where the Ferris wheel had been. You felt pretty thoroughly creeped out from everything, but knew there was one last place remaining in the park for you to visit before you left.

You felt a chill as you entered the underground area of the subway attraction. Mildew and stagnant air burned your nostrils as you entered the location. It was not as bad as much of the other places, admittedly. Perhaps no one wanted to enter, but there had been barely any vandalism upon it. The train sat parked at the platform. You giggled as you stepped inside.

Then the door slid shut behind you and the lights flickered on. A few did not work or suffered from dimness, but most shined bright white light directly onto your sensitive eyes. Shocked and horrified, you sat down on the plastic seat in an attempt to steady yourself. Someone had to be here and turned this on. Who? You suddenly felt scared for your life. The PA system clicked on and gave staticky feedback for a moment before a familiar voice spoke over it. “Current route to station three estimated to take around five minutes to arrive,” Ingo's voice was a bit weakened and less clear from lack of maintenance, “Welcome back, dearest. We missed you.”

“What?” you said out loud. His first sentence was his normal dialogue for the train, but the second one made no sense. Your fear spiked even higher as the train moved steadily along to the next station. It would bring you back to the centre of the park and closer to an employee tunnel that held a few storerooms. You readied yourself for whatever waited ahead and made plans to make a run for it if you could. The train slowed down for a stop at the station as you saw them both waiting for you. Their clothes were tattered and shoddily patched. Ominous metallic eyes luminesced as the doors slid open with a screech that hurt your ear.

You carefully stepped out and gazed at the twin bots carefully. Emmet's grin remained bright despite the year, but Ingo's frown was caught in an awkward shape and gave the illusion of a smile. They held out opposite arms and welcome you in unison, “Welcome back!” You gave them a strange look. Maybe… Maybe, they just missed you. It must have been lonely for them here. The bots did contain highly intelligent AI. Some would even say they were sentient.

“Ah, you scared me,” you tried to be slightly honest, “… It's nice to see you both again.” Emmet let out a giggle and took long strides over to you. His arms wrapped around you and pressed your body to his frigid form. Barely any heat came from him due to the cooling needed to keep his systems running. Ingo moved after him.

“Heehee, we have been waiting,” the smiling bot whispered, “We loved you. We knew you would return. You love us, right?” Suddenly, you remembered the situation you were in and tensed up. What did he mean? Ingo had stated it before. Love? Could they even process such a thing? Maybe it was a sense of dedication and worry about you as a co-worker that had been twisted from lack of care to their processes. You tried to escape Emmet's hold.

“Why are you afraid?” Ingo's voice called out, “… Emmet and I have been so lonely… We would do no harm to you. You are not like the other intruders.” You froze. Everything they said made your anxiety get to levels that left your mind reeling and demanding you escape the park. Emmet's embrace only tightened.

“We have a gift,” the bot cooed, “Brother and I worked verrrrry hard on it!”

“Ah, Emmet, it's supposed to be a surprise, you know,” Ingo scolded him and pressed a hand to your shoulder.

Your position was shifted to be wedged in between them as they guided you into the employee tunnel. The sickening air was thick and dusty as they took you deeper and deeper into the pitch-black tunnels. Your flashlight was forced from you and left near the train. Their eyes were the only lights that broke the horrifying darkness. Double metal doors were forced open to reveal a dimly lit room. Inside was a replica of your body in an android form. Worst of all was how it opened.

What were they going to do. Ingo moved away to shut the doors, while Emmet remained glued to your side.

“Tada!” he beamed at you, “Do you like it? We're going to make you like us.” There was no holding back the scream that escaped your lips and the tears that fell from your eyes. No! This was a bad joke! It had to be. These bots were incapable of this. It was simply illogical.

You should not have come here.

This rancid place should have simply remained a location within your memories.

“… Brother, she's afraid,” Emmet's smile fell as he turned to Ingo.

“A perfectly normal reaction, Emmet,” Ingo explained, “Dearest… Please don't be afraid. We will be happy together; we have loved you since we first saw you. When you helped with our ride or messed around… You spoke to us like people.”

You swallowed. It hurt. Thoughts rushed in and out of your mind at horrible speeds. How? Why? People were kind to them before you. Why you? You had not done anything wrong. Both began to lead you to your horrifying replica and soon-to-be tomb if you did not escape. Their grips were too strong, completely inhuman strength from their body. You did not want this! Why would they not listen to you?

“Please,” you cried, “Stop! I don't want this! I don't love you!”

The grip on your arms became like a boa's constriction. Blood flow was narrowly possible, and your fingertips tingled from the loss. Emmet began to giggle while Ingo sighed.

“I understand you're afraid,” Ingo's voice was soft, “Changes like this always are, but we cannot bear separation any longer.”

You were forced into the horrifying contraption.

Then…

It closed.

A single shriek echoed out and dribbled into pure silence.

~

~

~

~

A lighter ending:

You sighed at the bots as they stared at you with pleading eyes. Well… It was your last day working here.

“Fine,” you gave into Ingo's request, “You can walk me out.” Both seemed relieved about it. They each walked at your sides as you headed to the park exit. The sun had already set, and the park had closed for the day. Not its last, but its soon-to-be one. Not much was said, as the bots often proved bad conversers. Well, occasionally Ingo gave you a good one, but getting Emmet to talk was a miracle in and of itself. Soon you arrived at the gates, where you caught the owner heading out himself. He gazed at you and the bots for a moment in distant curiosity.

“Say… You know, I have no idea what to do with those two,” he explained, “Would you like them? I'm sure you've seen, they have a variety of functions and uses.” You pondered his words for a moment. Was he being serious? It was a tempting offer, honestly. No matter how creepy they were, you supposed company was company.  The twin bots stared at you with eyes that held desperation in them.

“If you're being genuine, then yeah,” you nodded, “I'd take them.”

“Go ahead, then,” he motioned to the exit, “I hope you enjoy them. They're pretty outdated, honestly.”

You shrugged.

Free robots were free robots.

#ingo x reader #emmet x reader #yandere pokemon x reader #yandere x reader #ingo/reader #emmet/reader #yandere #yanstuff #robot au

[rollercoasterwords]

hiiiiiii!! i don't have the brain to do or watch anything atm but i would LOVE some movie recs please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

YAY ok assuming this is coming from the 80s movie post so. here r some of my favorite 80s movies:

ridiculous campy fun:

earth girls are easy (1988) - fucking LOVE this movie!!! such a fun time. horny aliens crash their spaceship on earth + get taken in by a human woman. also it's a musical comedy + the aliens are played by jeff goldblum jim carrey and damon wayans

hell comes to frogtown (1988) - also. obsessed w this one. post-apocalyptic world where society is a matriarchy + humans need 2 repopulate. protagonist is a Manly Man who has been discovered to have a Mega-High Sperm Count, making him a government asset so a sexy military doctor locks him up in a chastity cage 2 conserve his precious sperm. also there are mutated frog people + they kidnapped a bunch of ~fertile~ human women to keep as sex slaves so Manly Man needs 2 accompany sexy military doctor + sexy soldier to go rescue the ladies from Frogtown so he can fuck them <3 also his name is Sam Hell. hence. 'hell comes to frogtown'

clue (1985) - based on the board game!! murder mystery comedy w wacky characters + an ending that is oh-so-fun

weird dark fantasy:

the company of wolves (1984) - the movie that inspired my 80s movie post 2nite <3 creepy fairytale retelling of red riding hood w a bunch of stories-within-a-story so that it ends up feeling like some sort of fever dream matryoshka doll

labyrinth (1986) - one of my FAVORITE movies of all time!!!!! david bowie is a goblin king who kidnaps the protagonist's baby brother as a favor 2 her + then when she's like actually i want him back he's like ok solve my maze then <3

return to oz (1985) - sequel to 'the wizard of oz' that is like. 10 times darker + weirder + creepier + definitely scarred me + my twin when we watched it as children lol. dorothy won't stop talking abt oz so she's taken 2 a mental institution for electroshock therapy. queue dramatic storm + sudden return to oz except the city is in ruins + dorothy needs 2 save the day

horror:

aliens (1986) - sequel to alien (1979) which just missed the cutoff for making this list + i also recommend--but u don't NEED 2 watch it 2 watch this movie. outer space creature feature meets slasher survival horror. xenomorph i love u <3

the thing (1982) - another sci-fi alien horror but this time it follows a group of researchers in the arctic who encounter an alien that can change shape 2 look like any of them. queue paranoia. there's also a more modern remake of this movie if i'm not mistaken

day of the dead (1985) - probably romero's least well-known zombie movie lol but a fun one nonetheless! good if u like 80s movies + zombie movies which. i do <3

the shining (1980) - oooh artsy spooky hotel horror.....a classic to be honest....

animated:

the last unicorn (1982) - ANOTHER favorite movie of all time for me!!!! unicorn who lives in isolation in a forest overhears two humans talking about how there are no more unicorns in the world + is like what i can't be the only one left...so she sets out on an adventure 2 try and find out what happened 2 all the unicorns <3 another movie that scarred me as a child bc of how creepy + dark it was

nausicaa of the valley of the wind (1984) - studio ghibli <3 this is one of my fave ghibli films. post-apocalyptic wasteland where giant bugs roam the earth....amazing

castle in the sky (1986) - more ghibli! girl w mysterious magic necklace meets boy who is searching for castle in the sky. also they are being chased by pirates + creepy government agents. FUN

kiki's delivery service (1989) - aaaaand more ghibli. teenage witch sets out 2 make her way in the world + encounters existential dread <3

classics:

heathers (1988) - veronica decides that she's sick of her mean-girl popular friendgroup + at the same time meets Mysterious New Boy. when she complains 2 him abt her friends he starts killing them <3

the princess bride (1987) - based on the book (which i also recommend!!); i feel like everyone knows this movie but. basically fairytale-esque romance abt a girl named buttercup who falls in love w a farmboy named wesley but then wesley gets murdered by pirates...or so it seems....

ferris bueller's day off (1986) - teenagers decide 2 skip school + run amok in chicago. wahoo!!

#if u watch anything. PLEASE let it be hell comes to frogtown #i'm fucking obsessed w that movie it's so fucking fun #like. definition of camp. 2 me #literally just watch the trailer + you'll get the vibe..... #and if u watch anything else. let it be earth girls are easy. and also labyrinth. and also the last unicorn. ok that is all bye <3 #movie recs #ask

[tw-episodereactions]

Teen Wolf 1x02

Aaaand we start off with shirtless boy again.

Out of curiosity, why is Stiles not freaked out about Scott playing lacrosse, which would also raise his heart rate? Is it specifically a night of the full moon thing?

Well clearly it’s not just a full moon thing.

So the first time his eyes change it’s to comfort the dog. The second time is because he’s afraid for Allison. It’s the third eye change and now it’s about anger. But even when it’s about anger, he was already feeling a lot of emotions because of Mr. Argent.

It’s just interesting to me that they waited so long to show us Scott’s anger making him shift when it was like the first thing Stiles mentioned when he finally decided Scott was a werewolf. He’s a teenage boy under a lot of pressure, but it’s been at least a week.

I guess technically he clawed up Stiles’ chair, but even then his eyes didn’t change. I don’t know why I find his eyes a more significant part of the change than anything else, but I do. Maybe because that’s how he’s literally seeing the world.

Oh great. Derek McFuckface being both useless and creepy.

Huh, so, like, was it like a rage blackout? Why didn’t he remember this time when he remembered what happened with fuckstick in the woods?

Oh man, this poor kid. He just wanted to play. That was like the first thing we learned about him. Instead he gets all that trauma from the attack, from his first transformation, from Derek & the hunters. And now the one thing he wanted is getting taken away too.

Hey, is his mom actually a doctor/nurse? Maybe he did have all that bandage stuff at home.

So they have money problems, and it’s not just Scott working for extra cash. Pretty nice house for having money problems, but honestly compared to the other houses we’ve seen it’s basically a shack.

I wonder how long he’s been working at the vet? Probably a while, right if they’ve let him be there by himself.

Wait, did we ever figure out how old these kids were supposed to be? Jackson and Allison seem older than Scott, Stiles, and Lydia, but Allison is in Scott’s class, so maybe her schooling is all messed up because they moved around so much?

Lol, oh my god, Scott. This scene between him and his mother is hilarious. Also, where’s his dad? I assume he’s not in the picture.

Oh goody, violent stalker Derek is back. Is it just violence this time or violence and manipulation? Or maybe you’re going to say he should be grateful again, you dogshit excuse for a person.

Even better! Threats of murder! This guy is the absolute worst. Hey, let’s violently attack this kid and turn him into a nightmare monster with no support or instruction, then attack him again for no reason and show him how people are hunting him by getting him shot, and then try to like trauma bond with him and tell him he should be grateful about it, and then threaten to kill him after you’ve given him absolutely nothing but abuse?!?!?! 

Umm, like, perhaps this ginormous waste of space should be hunted down like a feral animal.

The first time Scott tries to get away without explaining anything it works, but it’s definitely not working for him this episode. Fake an injury, kid. Not sure how he’d do that with his mom being some sort of medical person, but he could give it a shot.

Okay, so who the fuck is that? If it was creepy Derek they would have shown him, so it’s gotta be another werewolf. Who is also creepy.

Fellas, are all the werewolves but Scott going to be evil in this? Maybe we’re going back to Kafka and the whole being treated as monstrous leads you into becoming a monster and Scott with his sweet heart and slowness to anger having to fight against that. Which is a little bit heartbreaking.

On the one hand, Scott was being weird and intense. On the other, I’d’ve been a little weirded out about the whole Derek thing if I were her. Because she only went with him because he said he was Scott’s friend but now Scott’s saying that’s not true and if she thought about it for a hot second she’d probably remember she was wearing the jacket in Derek’s car.

Lol, okay, so Scott can be impulsive too, I guess. Sure, go straight toward the guy who threatened to kill you because he also might be a threat to Allison.

“You don’t get it, but I’m looking out for you,” says the guy who literally threatened to murder him the day before.

Also, he’s not fucking looking out for Scott, he’s looking out for himself. “If they find out about you, they find out about me,” is exactly what he said. He doesn’t give a shit about Scott.

It’s clear he’s been stalking more than just Scott too.

This bitch. I cannot tell you how much I loathe this guy. On the plus side, it’s clear that Smugface Shitboy thinks he’s in the right, and that’s always the best kind of villain.

I do like how proactive Scott is being about this. Like, he’s working the problem. Maybe not elegantly- or even effectively at this moment - but he’s not letting his trauma or fear stop him from trying to live his life.

So Morgue was not my first thought here. What the hell, kid.

Stiles is being way less creepy this episode. Also, way less mean to Scott. I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I have big feelings about athletes pushing themselves through injury, specifically high school and college athletes doing that, so Lydia is officially on my shit list.

The scent was the same?! I shall not call bullshit because this is a supernatural show, but with all the scents in a hospital morgue and how new he is at this it’s a little suspect.

Also, not to give Fuckface any credit, but burying the body doesn’t make him a murderer, he could just be creepy. I mean, I get where Scott’s coming from with the whole dead body plus he literally threatened to murder Scott so I wouldn’t put it past him, I’m just saying it’s not conclusive. This doesn’t mean they shouldn’t throw the law at him though. Maybe the cops can actually be useful for something.

You know what? I like that they clarified that Scott isn’t just doing this because of the game. Like, even without that him throwing the cops at Derek is totally justified, but Scott’s not going along with Stiles being giddy about body parts anymore, she’s officially become a person in his eyes who was violently attacked just like he was.

Bad call, boys, you’re disturbing evidence.

Scott, I’m sorry, you were expecting Stiles to actually have a good plan? That doesn’t seem like him at all.

Lol, I was going to laugh at the incongruity of one single, perfect flower, but I guess it was like that on purpose.

Scott looks sad when they’re taking Fuckface out in cuffs. Again, it just hammers home that she wasn’t just body parts, she was a person and now he knows that she was a werewolf like him. Like, was she stalked and threatened by Fuckface too? Was she traumatized and afraid for her life like Scott has been? Was she trying to protect people too?

Oh, man. Poor impulse control Stiles strikes again. And Scott’s freaking out because he knows Fuckface has been stalking Stiles already.

Okay, so once again, Fuckface doesn’t really seem to care that Scott might hurt someone, or even that Scott might get hurt, he only cares about their secret getting out. Maybe this is some sort of weird game he and the other werewolf play: one of them violently turns someone, the other toys with the victim and manipulates them, and then they kill them together before their secret can be revealed, each of them getting a piece.

See, the problem with Stiles is that half the time his dipshit plans work out so he gets overconfident and comes up with more dipshit plans.

Uh, something is wrong here. Why does Scott look like he’s fighting off sleep?

Oh, okay, he’s fighting off wolfsbane poisoning maybe? That took a while actually. One presumes Stiles had it with them the whole time he drove Scott home the night before, then picked him up the next day and is now driving him back again.

Oh that’s not good.

Scott? What are you doing, buddy?

Obligatory frightened by his own reflection scene.

Scott! Perfect opportunity to pretend injury and not play in the game! Use this!

Ugh! Terrible wasted opportunity. He’s not any better than Stiles at thinking on his feet. Does usually plan better though.

Lol at him apologizing for getting run over.

Oh, poor baby. It’s like he traded one chronic illness for another, and he’s used to having to accommodate for asthma, but lycanthropy comes with a whole new set of accommodations that’s he’s got to learn because it’s also life or death.

Stiles, bud. Not helping. Negative helping.

So Lydia will manipulate and threaten Scott to win, but when he scores she’s all begrudging about clapping? That seems off. Like, she clapped when Scott was awesome during trying outs to tweak Jackson’s competitiveness, but not during a game they were losing? Inconsistent characterization right there.

Allison just walking into the locker room like nbd. And then walking into the showers.

Boy you just calmed yourself down!

Stiles, stop being creepy. But he is trying to be a good bro.

Laura Hale neatly severed. Yeah, it’s totally an animal attack. It being his sister actually makes Fuckface look more creepy somehow.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN. The holes in the gloves would have had more impact if Stiles hadn’t bitten through the tips of his own gloves like three times in that game.

Fuckface has spotted another victim! This one’s as much of a douche as him!

#teen wolf #scott mccall #stiles stilinski #derek hale #episode reaction #1x02

[enbyleighlines]

Leigh plays Tellius prt 23

Ugh. Featured above is what I believe to be the most frustrating decision Radiant Dawn made. Astrid had so much potential! She's from a noble family, but left to become a knight so that she could escape an arranged marriage! (Likely inspired by seeing her elder sisters enter into unhappy marriages.) She's timid, but determined to become stronger. She starts out weak, but grows fast, due to her special skill. The fact that she becomes demoted to Makalov's devoted groupie is so disappointing.

I mean, in comparison to her original betrothed, Makalov is a vast improvement. But that's more of a comment on Lekain than Makalov.

And here we have the most baffling decision Radiant Dawn has made. I don't hate it, I'm just... confused. Why did Devdan change his name? Why is he pretending to be a different person? Did he actually lose his memory or is this a bit? Or is it a poorly designed scheme to keep himself out of trouble?

I don't know. I do wish Devdan/Danved had more story importance. He seems like a cool character. I especially liked his base conversation with Ike in PoR. If only we could have had more of that.

Crimean Royal Knight Fifth Platoon Captain Kieran hath returned!!! I am so happy to see this absolute buffoon. He just reads as so fruity to me. I can't wait to pair him with Oscar again. Those two were monsters in my PoR playthrough. And with Oscar's avoid bonus, they were nearly untouchable, too.

Man, this map took me so long. I went into it thinking that it would be easy. After all, most of the enemy units are fairly weak. Surely my units won't have any issue staying alive.

Oh, how wrong I was. The amount of times Marcia got sniped by an crossbow, or Geoffrey got crit by a sniper... I didn't keep count, but trust me, it was a lot. And it didn't help that the enemy and ally turns took so long, so redoing this map was a trial of patience.

At long last, however, I managed to pull through.

This part of the game is so heartbreaking. The fact that Ludveck actually sent Elincia Lucia's hair... like, that's serial killer behavior right there. And while I do think Lucia looks better with short hair, I would have much preferred it if she didn't have it chopped off against her will by the world's most evil Southern gentleman. That's a massive violation of Lucia's bodily autonomy, meant to humiliate and degrade her, and I'm again sad we don't get to murder Ludveck for this.

I've always wondered what all the people gathered here think. Are they predominantly on Elincia's side, or Ludveck's? I hope it's the former. I know Elincia isn't enjoying much popularity from the nobles, but I hope she at least has a devoted following among the common folk.

And how I pray to remove your head from your body, Ludveck. God, he's so creepy. Why are all the male villains in RD so creepy? They all have such terrible incel energy.

THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN

I SAID THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN

Gosh, this isn't my favorite cutscene in the game (that happens in part 3), but man this one is SO HYPE. My own complaint is that Soren is the only one who doesn't seem to have a voice actor assigned to him, aside from maybe Rhys. Even Gatrie does a little grunt at one point. But Soren is a main character! At least hire someone to do some quiet chanting in the old language. They did that for Micaiah in the first cutscene.

Oh, well. I'm too happy to complain any further. I'm just relieved to finally get the Greil Mercs back. Part 3 is probably my favorite part of the game, though part 4 is also a lot of fun. It has some of the best cutscenes in the game imo. I cannot wait to see Ranulf animated. His smooth voice and subtle little ear twitches... ah, I'm in love!

#leigh plays tellius #fire emblem radiant dawn #radiant dawn #fe10 #tellius

[falconscales]

pleeeease i want to hear about that cool oc of yours :D

Talon-dragonbeast you are now my favoritest mutual ever

OKAY so! Basic information to start. Animal is a very very old oc of mine. Her earliest version was like... When I was in first grade. So, lots and lots of changes between then and now.

She's kinda my... Self Insert oc that I just plonk into anything I'm interested in (I have this universe in my head that's been going on for years and that's where she's from :3)

The version of her that I kin (and the version of her I'll be talking about here) is at least three years old, maybe older, I'm not sure. This version is my Origins of Olympus oc (a Minecraft roleplay based on Percy Jackson by the group Originsmcrp)

This got very long so... readmore!

So, just a warning but she is very very cringe. Like, it's 100% on purpose and if I wasn't willing to talk about her I wouldn't have said anything. But like, she is a mary sue self insert oc who I first made when I was like 6 or 7 and this version of her I made when I was,,, about 13 (Falcon age reveal)

(also also quick warning I literally haven't watched Origins of Olympus in years. I probably should especially now that I know I kin her so I can get my memories all straight but I haven't had the time to yet.)

Okay sooo about her. She's a hybrid of two different species (drakins, an original species that at this time looked like humans w/ wings and horns and dragon ears and a tail and scales and stuff that also just adapted to anything) and a dragon (an ocean dragon to be specific)

So... I don't ever think I like... had a reason for her to appear in the Origins of Olympus world, because whoa surprise she's a universe traveler. But she did! at like... ten? or somewhere about that age.

Bryan is a pretty big part of her story, and he finds her like... passed out and super injured right outside of his house or something, about six years before the start of the series. Oh important info, Bryan is a son of Aphrodite (because, Percy Jackson inspired series). He heals her and for the next six years basically raises her. Bryan is Animal's dad :3

Sooo Bryan gets the invite to Camp Oasis, and on the way some creepy old lady gives him a sword and then he (and Animal because she was with him) forget about the lady that gave him the sword. Nothing bad will happen because of this.

So season one is, pretty much the same. Like... there wasn't a whole lot of full on canon divergence, more like... canon but slightly to the left (at least for her oc, I'm still trying to figure out kin memories and I'm not sure how close the kin memories are to the oc lore)

BUT but. So the sword is cursed, and also sentient. It's called the Seductive Rose (referred to as Rose from now on :p) and basically corrupts Bryan. Animal is just... sticking by his side this whole time, because like... that's her dad. There's not much else she can do.

During this the Rose genuinely cares about her, he keeps her safe and away from the worst stuff he does and uh oh evil sword has adopted the kid of the guy it's supposed to kill (or something like that)

Season 1 ends as it did normally, with the Rose "dying" and Bryan being fine but like... everyone hates him lol. Because he did like, straight up murder a few people. So he and Animal go back to his mom's mansion for the next year.

Season 2 starts! It takes place a year after season 1 (and I'm not sure how long season 1 lasted buttt i'm gonna say about a year, so Animal is 18 now.) there are more pantheons than just the Greek one!! Here comes Inpu!!!

Season 2 is... to be real honest I don't remember much about season 2. See what i said about the fact that I should rewatch the series. Yeah. The big important things are this. The Rose now has a body of it's own, Inpu and Bryan start dating (and get married), Inpu has a sibling named Magnus (Inpu is the son of Anubis and Magus is the child of Anubis), Riccaro is Inpu's brother (technically uncle but they are brothers To Me) and he marries Momiji who is the daughter of Inari Okami and a kitsune. I have Got to make a family tree i swear.

So Animal has three dads, zero moms, two aunts, and one uncle (at least ones that she calls that. we're... not getting into the whole family tree thing. I refuse to.)

The Rose comes back with his new body, and so... I think in canon he kills Bryan, But here he's like "hey so like I still wanna kill everyone in this camp but my daughter lives here and likes most of you so I'm good now or whatever." and Drannus (hes a villain and possesses another camper. He wasn't superrr important to Inpu's story iirc (and I watched Inpu's pov for season 2 and 3) so... anyway Drannus kills Bryan, and Bryan's soul breaks into three pieces

There's a five year timeskip between season 2 and 3, and so inbetween that Inpu is trying to figure out how to bring Bryan back to live and Bryan's soul crystal makes three kids: Lotus, Atlas, and Femi. Which are bio kids of Inpu and Bryan. no don't ask how that works. They're about... twelve physically I think, and are about 16 when season 3 starts

SO now Animal has three siblings, yay! and also only two dads, less yay.

Okay so nowww season 3! Animal is 23ish now! I think it gets very canon divergent from here because the Rose isn't evil. But also i don't... remember what he did? Idk. I watched season 1 like four times but season 2 and 3 only once lol. But the important thing is that Lotus loses one of their wings, Animal makes them a new wing because she just... knew? how? to? Don't remember why just that it Happened. Also Bryan is back yay!!

After season 3 things are like, very very chill. Animal can turn into a dragon now because she has enough magic to now? Um... I know that stuff happens after season 3 but I think those are kin memories given that they're more feelings lol, I don't think the oc had stuff happen after that Origins of Olympus wise (.its complicated)

So!!! Incomprehensible ramble about my cringe oc done!!! I love her very much and am also. so shifted rn.

#I have Got to rewatch origins of olympus #Origins of Olympus #Origins of Olympus oc #Origins oc #otherkin #fictionkin #alterhuman #Falcon Answers #asks #Oc Stuff #Animal Stuff #I Guess?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

!reading update!

can't believe I almost forgot for to do the reading roundup for my ✨birthday month✨ but it's been A Time! however during that Time I've also been reading A Lot, which I will be recapping for you now. spoiler alert: it's WAY more comics than I realized, your bitch has been reading a lot of comics.

The Sandman: The Doll's House (Neil Gaiman et al, 1989) - MAN the serial killer convention is SUCH a cool and creepy idea. I know that there are, like, a lot of other things that happen here, but it's seriously so neat. and it's been years since I first read the series, but it's so cool to already spot the strings of the bigger plot coming together with Rose and [fucking spoilers for a 30+ year old comic I guess, people watching the netflix series do not get mad @ me that's a you problem] Desire's scheme to get Dream to kill a member of the family. what a cunt! what a magnificent plot! I love being able to dissect a story and appreciate how finely it's made. hopefully in the coming month I'll plan a little better and manage to read more than one volume a month, because this series really is splendid and deserves the attention.

Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2019) - another reread, which is also spectacularly satisfying to revisit! Gideon remains unlike anything I've ever read; Muir's style and voice are so terrifically distinctive and make the murder mystery so spectacularly propulsive, and the characters are all so fucking delicious. also, reading it now with the benefit of having read Harrow and knowing more about the Lyctors, made my brain go "!!!!!" in certain places. there's just so many layers of lies and foreshadowing and red herrings ALL OVER THE PLACE in this series and it's SO COOL to be able to spot some of it. Tamsyn Muir is a genius and I couldn't be more hype for Nona.

The Batman Adventures (Volume 2) (Ty Templeton, Dan Slott, Gabe Soria, Jason Hall, 2003) - now hang on, I already know what you're thinking: "Makenzie, did you read this just for that one issue where the Riddler is going off the shits trying to trick Batman into hanging out with him and having dinner?" listen. obviously yes. BUT. this is also for sure one of my favorite comic series I've read all year. this is continuation of the universe of Batman: The Animated Series, taking place in a Gotham where the Penguin has been elected mayor and has made Batman illegal. you guys KNOW I love stories where the Penguin is the mayor; I eat that shit up!! and this story really has everything: Bruce's absolute train wreck of a love life. surprisingly obvious romantic tension between Harley and Ivy. Bruce visiting Bludhaven and being a judgey bitch about how Dick does things as Nightwing. some REALLY bold hard moves in regards to certain rogues, leaving them dangling in very uncertain fates. I really can't recommend it enough, which is why I'm dropping you a link to pirate all 17 issues here.

Love Your Asian Body: AIDS Activism in Los Angeles (Eric C. Wat, 2021) - oh man, yall. do you ever just. read about previous generations of queer people struggling and loving and crying and fighting and doing their best to support each other against seemingly insurmountable odds and get weepy about it? because I do. this is a deeply heartfelt account of a decade of activism in a very specific and highly-overlooked community, narrated by the activists who were fighting on the front lines of the movement. the activists interviewed are so refreshingly upfront about their struggles; Wat seems to have no interest in glorifying LA's Asian AIDS activists but rather shares all of their recollections about unglamorous infighting and critiques that have come about with the benefit of hindsight. it's honest and heart-wrenching and I can't recommend it enough to anyone interested in finding queer connections in the very recent past. it's enlightening to see how much and how little has changed.

Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman et al, 2009) - oh man, this really is the most Neil Gaiman Batman story there ever could be. if I didn't know it was published in 2009 I would be entirely willing to believe that it had come out as part of the Sandman in the 80s, honestly; it's got that kind of vibe. I don't say any of that in a derogatory manner; it's a neat little spin on Batman, and you guys know I like stories where the continuity is deliberately runny and everything is canon all at once. and that's pretty much all I have to - oh, sorry, what's that? "Makenzie, did you check this out just because of the extra, unrelated Riddler story included in the back? the one where he's all old and sad talking about how great the silver age was and how modern edgelord shit sucks?" yeah. yeah I did. fuck off.

What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat (Audrey Gordon, 2020) - my friend Emily recently got me extremely into the podcast Maintenance Phase, which Gordon co-hosts, and my friend Danielle recently cited this book prominently while researching for their thesis, so I really couldn't NOT read this now. and god, it's infuriating and smart and fantastic in so many ways. Gordon has just absolutely zero interest in coddling the feelings of thin people, no matter how good they think their intentions are, while she unpacks the cultural bullshit that feeds fatphobia - and why should she!!! which isn't to say Gordon is just mean throughout; she's remarkably vulnerable about some of the worst experiences of her life and articulates that emotion exquisitely, spinning personally narratives flawlessly into articulate essays. if you are, like me, a thin person who gives a shit about fat people and wants to do some serious work confronting the privileges you hold and the shit you need to unpack, you've really gotta read this.

Content Warning: Everything (Akwaeke Emezi, 2022) - I am so DELIGHTED to announce that Emezi's debut poetry collection fucks severely. I'm so enchanted by the way they weave Biblical figures into their poems, envisioning them as extended family - Mary as an auntie, Jesus as a brother, Mary Magdalene as Jesus' lover with whom Emezi develops a relationship of their own. "what if my father called jesus a bastard" is a poem I think about a lot. I don't know, maybe you need to be a #superfan whose read all of Emezi's memoir and highly biographical fiction to get this - maybe the way they relate to Jesus as a fellow young god won't make sense if you don't know about their own very specific understanding of their sense of self. if that's the case then idk, go read all of Emezi's other books immediately and then come back for the poems; you'll be doing yourself a favor.

Harrow the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2020) - I was honestly kind of afraid that I'd run out of everything I had to say about this reread when I was talking about Gideon, but honestly? everything I said about how satisfying it is to reread Gideon goes DOUBLE for Harrow. I can't really say why without getting into massive spoiler territory, because this is a book designed to keep the reader as disoriented as Harrow until the last possible moment before the head-spinning reveal. and you know what? it's SO worth it. the payoff is magnificent; the reread value is tremendous. there seem to be a lot of people getting into the Locked Tomb on my dash right now, which is awesome, but I also keep seeing people talking about how Harrow is too confusing to the point of giving up on it. listen - lean into that discomfort. it's so worth it. you don't have to Get everything all the time and Muir is making lesbian space necromancer ART here.

The Joker War Saga (James Tynion IV et al) - hey man. I'm gonna be real with you. I really liked the arc leading up to this (Their Dark Designs, yes it's the one with the fucked up meth Riddler, you have GOT to mind your own business). I liked it enough that I warily consented to read something called "Joker War" even though I don't usually like Joker-heavy stories and I'm firmly of the opinion that crossover events with "war" in the title are generally pretty bad. and wouldn't you know it? I was right. Joker War sucks. it's dumb and convoluted and just needlessly edgy and draws attention to the Joker's unkillable nature in just the most annoying way. Harley is pretty solid and I enjoy Punchline a lot more than I thought I would, but fuck this.

The Memory Police (Yoko Ogawa 1994; trans. Stephen Snyder 2019) - this was the dark horse winner of my most recent book poll, and once again y'all displayed immaculate taste with your voting power. Ogawa's novel is the haunting story of an isolated young novelist on an unnamed island where things regularly get disappeared not just physically, but from people's minds and hearts as well - birds have been forgotten, as have roses, emeralds, and hats. with every passing day the Memory Police's control on the island tightens, and now whole families are being taken if they're suspected of having the gene to remember things that are taken away. our nameless protagonist's mother could remember, and hid the objects she saved when they vanished, but our protagonist doesn't share this gift. nonetheless, when her editor worries he may be targeted next, our protagonist makes a bold move to hide him from the Memory Police. it's a gorgeously tense and melancholy narrative about fascism and art and emotions and it made me feel a lot of feelings.

Conversations with People Who Hate Me: 12 Lessons I Learned from Talking to Internet Strangers (Dylan Marron, 2022) - as some of you may have noticed from *gestures around* all of this, I have a complicated relationship with the internet and how people on it treat me. I would never pretend that I've had to deal with anything as severe as Dylan Marron receiving homophobic death threats on the regular, but hey - it's not a competition. and in any case, I did cry within the first chapter or two of this book as Marron talked about the process of unlearning the gamification of human interactions online and trying to see the humanity of people who say the MOST vile things to him. I know I can't agree with every single thing Marron says here; I know there are people I just cannot and will not have compassion for because they objectively oppress me and should gargle my balls. but there is a lot here that is genuinely magnificent in its kindness, that I will be trying to integrate into how I comport myself here and in other online spaces.

Any Way the Wind Blows (Rainbow Rowell, 2021) - it took me a long-ass time to finished off the Simon Snow series, despite really enjoying the first one and really enjoying the second one, and really digging these characters in general. but I got there eventually and I DEVOURED it; this books are splendidly readable for being 400+ pages. the plot is watery-thin this time around, but that's alright - sometimes a plot just needs to be a moving sidewalk putting a little extra pressure on the characters while they try to sort out their messy feelings and complicated relationships and codependent childhood friendships. I liked it a lot, I really enjoy the way Rowell writes crushes and intimacy and all the squishy feelings that happen along the way.

Paper Girls Vol. 1-4 (Brian K. Vaughan and Cliff Chiang, 2016-2018) - it's rereading season baby!!! this is like my third attempt to read all of Paper Girls and I'm actually going to make it this time, because I have the final two volumes on hold at the library RIGHT NOW and I'm very much looking forward to picking them up! LET'S GOOOOO. full review to come when I finish the series I guess but Paper Girls is great, go read it. it's a messy brain-bendy little story about friendship and time travelling bullshit, and also has some of the most gorgeous comic book art I've ever seen. Cliff Chiang is brilliant.

I'm Glad My Mom Died (Jennette McCurdy, 2022) - this is one of the buzziest memoirs of the year, and for good fucking reason. McCurdy is a tremendously gifted writer who's clearly been through a lot of therapy and has turned it with remarkable skill into art, and her debut is tremendously impressive. she has an uncanny ability to get the reader in the mindset she possessed at various stages of her childhood, when crying on command and bonding with her mother over anorexia were just facts of life, while also clearly outlining the stark horror of her abuse. readers, I cried more times than I can tell you. I read the entire book in one day. trigger warnings out the ass, so plan accordingly, but if you have the stomach for it this is a really remarkable read. I don't like to call my shots but there's no way in hell I'm Glad My Mom Died isn't going on whatever end-of-year favorite books list I end up making.

Spandex (Martin Eden, 2012) - I read a volume collecting the first three issues of Eden's comic, Spandex, about the titular team of British superheroes, all of whom are queer. I'm going to level with you: it's kind of garbage? the plots feel slapped together, the art is what I would politely call CHARMINGLY scrappy, the team is extremely white with the exceptions of Butch (a super-strong stoic Black woman who doesn't talk much) and Neon (a sexy Japanese ninja who's anime all the way down). but at the same time, it's like... like I'm glad it exists? a lot of mediocre straight art gets published every day; mediocre gay art also deserves that chance. and it's cool to see a superhero team where queerness and gay sex and gender weirdness are the norm instead of being nonexistent or being the entire moral of the story. also Prowler's power is harnessing the abilities of nearby gay people and that rules. that's gay community, babey.

Greenland (David Santos Donaldson, 2022) - WHAT a book !!! Santos Donaldson writes in an absolutely incredible voice, as our protagonist Kip is Going The Fuck Through It. Kip has three weeks to write a novel from scratch for a prospective publisher, and to do this he's boarded himself into the basement of his house against the wishes of his older husband, who has recently announced that he'd like a divorce. the object of Kip's fixation is Mohammed el-Adl, the Black man who had a love affair with older, white English writer E.M. Forster during Forster's time in Egypt. Kip finds much of himself in Mohammed, as a Black man in a relationship with an older white man who has also spent his entire life trying to prove himself as a writer in a predominantly white publishing industry and simultaneously hating the urge he feels to prove himself to a white publishing industry. our man Kip does not have an excellent time in this book, but he's certainly carried by excellent style; his breakdown is narrated start to finish in heady, fervent, manically literary style that never bores.

this one took longer to write than literally any reading recap I've ever done, everyone enjoy xoxo gossip girl

#bookblr #reading updates

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

A Secret Leak: Storyboards, Scripts, and Spirits.

There were pros and cons to working on 'the Joey Doodles Hobby' at her workplace; nobody suspected that the book and story boards inside the book were anything unusual or extraordinary, she could work in peace in a place that was comfortable and was easy for her to get information on the past workers in Joey Drew Studios. And the people who noticed her side-projects might have pointed out that a few story boards were a little dark for a family show while others didn't make sense, but Audrey was quick to explain away that they were just concepts put on paper, nothing too big or serious.

The cons? It was easy to mix up "Ink Studio" work with "Archgate Studio" work. While the information on Joey Drew Studios workers itself was easy to find, there was still very little surviving information on the people (aside from Joey himself) at Archgate so there wasn't a lot she could use for them. And while many dismissed what Audrey was doing as just a hobby, unfortunately, some people also got interested in said hobby.

"The little devil looks pretty good in that suit," Audrey froze like a deer in headlights when she heard the Art Director's voice behind her. "What special occasion is that for?"

"O-oh nothing!" she closed the sketchbook "I'm just practicing drawing pinstripe clothes and figured he'd look cute in them..."

"Fair enough, he'd look adorable in anything!" the Director chuckled. "But Audrey, there's something I want to talk to you about regarding other things you've drawn that I've been told about... the unsettling things that... bear a striking resemblance to what was found in the storyboards that were uncovered from Joey Drew's home."

"I guess I've found his concepts fascinating to think about." She shrugged. "They might be a lot gorier than what Bendy's known for, but it's not like it comes out of nowhere. Alice's temper can get the better of her, so her going too far isn't out of the realm of possibilities Bendy might be a timid demon who only pulls small pranks in the show, but he's still a demon at the end of the day, he can be capable of a lot more than what meets the eye."

The Director raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, obviously I don't recommend broadcasting this to the public, but taking his final works and expanding on them in private would've been something he liked to see..."

"...And it's in the same vein as Archgate Pictures itself being a labor of love made in his memory?"

"Yes! Exactly!"

"Fascinating, I'll go talk with Mr. Arch about that and see how he feels, who knows, maybe we can use one or two of those ideas in a Halloween special if we tone them down."

"He does love a good Halloween episode." Audrey nodded in agreement.

"And I'll go ask our animator Wilson to see if he can work his magic. He might not be the most talkative or social person, but he has a real knack for subtly uncanny features as well as detailed designs. They might not work the best with that sailor boy character he's trying to push, but maybe he can help with designing a one-off villain."

"Greeaaat..."

Audrey held onto a fake smile while cursing under her breath. She can't believe she forgot about Wilson! She was so caught up trying to handle the balancing acts of work, the Ink Studio, and trying to help Bendy adjust to the real world that the lying, creepy, son of a gun who sent her to the studio in the first place and wanted to murder her to bring his stupid sailor boy to life was just an afterthought!

How does she explain what happened to him without sounding like she completely lost her mind? That he was dead? That he died in the ink world and his body would most likely never be found? Worse yet, what if he didn't die? Or rather, he didn't stay dead..?

"Mind if I borrow your sketchbook?"

"Yes, I do mind, there's still a lot of stuff that hasn't been finished yet." She hid the book behind her back and took a small step back. "Maybe later."

"I see, well I hope we get to talk about this more often. There's some interesting ideas in there."

"Only time can tell. Now if you excuse me, I really need to... ...go grab some lunch! I was planning on meeting someone for it and I really can't miss it."

"...It's five o'clock."

"Better late than never!" She chuckled while heading for the door. "It's a... very long lunch."

Not caring whether the Art Director believed her or not anymore, she went to clock out. Breathing a sigh of relief when she was alone yet taking a glance behind her just in case she wasn't being followed.

"Audrey...."

She flinched and her blood ran cold when she heard him. Turning back to the machine to check out quicker, she was mentally making a plan on what to do; She was no stranger to ghosts in the studio, but they were pretty much harmless for the most part, only scaring people if they bugged them. But Wilson? Wilson was a different case. Oh the stupid machine! Why won't it work?!

"Auuuudreeeeey...."

He wasn't an unlucky lingering specter who stuck around because he had nowhere else to go, he wanted her soul, that was the last thing he wanted in life. It wasn't too far of a stretch to assume that in the afterlife, he'd want her dead. She didn't know how close he was to her right now, what he was capable of as a member of the undead who had been fused with magic ink, or even what he looked like now... Yes! Finally, the damn thing let her clock out! Now she can leave-

"Auuuuuuuuuudreeeeeeeeeey...."

The voice was right behind her now! She could practically feel his breath on her ears!

She felt an ice-cold, four fingered hand on her shoulder and smacked it off while turning to face what Wilson had become-

-Which was a cartoon version of himself but with a halo over his head, most likely to indicate that he is in fact dead as he is the LAST PERSON who deserved to go to heaven. His missing eye wasn't even ominous, it looked more like somebody forgot to draw it on him. He wasn't even an uncanny mesh of human and toonish features like his Wilson-esc form was.

That was... a *lot* less intimidating than she expected. She would've burst out loud laughing if she didn't know what he was capable of. Her mental image of what he was turned into was that of a mangled corpse with globs of ink instead of guts or blood.

"Okay then." She stated without a hint of fear in her voice. "I'm just gonna go now. I have errands to run, see you on Monday unless others can see you like that."

The cartoon man's expression soured as he watched her go from scared to an unreadable (yet obviously not scared expression) just carrying on like nothing happened.

"...My dear, you do realize that I am going to kill you, right?"

"No, you're going to try to kill me." Audrey corrected while heading to her desk to get her stuff, not caring if Wilson followed her or not. "There's a big difference."

"And what makes you so sure I won't succeed...?"

"Past experience, you don't have your Keepers, the Ink Machine's nowhere in the studio..." she listed off. "And Bendy-"

"Wait! What did you say about the Ink Machine?!"

"According to Nathan, it was taken in by the GENT company for repairs."

"...And did he get a deadline for when he'd get it back?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"That stupid old man..." Wilson shook his head as he cursed under his breath. "Doesn't he know any better?!"

"If he knows what it can do, then he wouldn't want it to break when he doesn't know how to fix it. And if he doesn't know what it can do, then it's still important to him and he wants it maintained." She shrugged as she double checked her bag. "If something you put in a museum broke, where would you send it if you wanted to get it fixed?"

The toon opened his mouth to retort but shut it as he couldn't think of a proper comeback.

"Now if you excuse me, I have a train to catch..." Audrey took her bag and left the office, leaving the toon man to stew in his bitterness.

#bendy and the dark revival #batdr au #a secret leak au #fanfic #audrey drew #wilson arch

[starlightrows]

Hello everyone! Happy Star Wars Day!

Welcome back to Krax Watches. Today we’re watching Tales of the Jedi

Episode 1 —

Ashoka’s mom is gorgeous

The baby noises are so precious oh my god stop

I don’t know why the accents threw me off a bit, but it makes sense that Ashoka might not have an accent since she was raised in the Jedi temple

This animation and imagery is beautiful

Baby Ahsoka is fully unphased by the blaster shot right by her head

Ahsoka’s mom being a hunter in their society is awesome

Pav Ti talking to baby Ahsoka like a little adult is wonderful

Pav Ti is my fucking hero. Roaring at the saber tooth tiger

Whatever those cat panda thing are, I want one

I did not except the saber toothed tiger to take baby Soka with it

How to Train Your Saber Toothed Tiger

I literally can not handle her teeny tiny little lekku and her chubby wubby cheeks and her big sparkly eyes

It’s giving Diego from Ice Age

8/10 great mini story

Episode 2 —

Dooku’s hair is… something

Starting off kinda creepy ghost town vibes huh

That was a dog. Like a regular ass dog

Yee old saloon

Young Qui Gon looks like the cave man from Ice Age… wtf

Ooh a moral quandary

Cone heads

Blue light saber Dooku, I thought for sure he’s be a green

It’s interesting to see how far back it goes, the opinion that Jedi serve the senate and not the people

Dooku fully yeeted Qui Gon, I was not expecting that

Based on Dooku’s dark brown robes, he’s in the beginning to turn to the dark side phase like Anakin

Damn I was really hoping Dooku had a last name… or a first name? Idk I wanted a full name

7/10 though provoking but I wanted a little more

Episode 3 —

It is so strange to think that Dooku and Mace had an actual friendship

Of course Mace Windu would be a stickler for the rules

I’m sure these Raxus guys are bad guys or something, but their uniforms are cool

I feel like these people definitely killed Master Katri, but like why?

Dooku is in his fuck around and find out era

Ah yes, the beloved purple light label

“I will have the truth” … and the thing from the last episode about irradiating people like the evil senator. Dooku is every bit as blunt and rash as Anakin but like way more graceful about it

Uuugh how things could have been different if Mace was more open minded about the corruption taking root in the Jedi Order

Fun to see some of our favorite Jedi again… too bad it’s at a funeral

I don’t doubt that Mace did not know he was up for Master Katri’s council seat… but also he could have had an idea that he was in consideration

8/10 I love a good murder mystery with question authority undertones

Episode 4 —

How the FUCK would you find anything in that archive

Ooooooh Master Sifo Dias … Kamino???? Deleted?

Jocasta!!!

Yaddle!!!!

LIAM NEESON

Dooku’s been warning them about coming darkness… irony is so painful

Ahhhhhh Dooku hasn’t even met his grand-padawan yet

“You’re always singing his praises”

“They grow up so fast”

Qui Gon’s like… hey I’m concerned about this. Council is like… sounds fake but okay. We’ll do “something” about it…. Corporate mentality. SMH

Oh my god… Why did I not realize when he said Sith Lord on Tatooine that this was happening right after episode one

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH no no no no no

Dooku wanted to turn Qui Gon to the dark side

Is…. Dooku going to fight Yaddle….

Fuck this is such an ugly situation

Can you imagine if Yaddle had used The Force to yank Palpatine’s hood off and exposed him early like this

AAAAAHHHHH Yaddle is so wise. She is stepped down from the council

Oh my fucking god…….. she got smooshed!

Oh just kidding! Fuck ‘em up Yaddle!

Fuck that just hurts my heart so much

10/10 made me understand a lot about Dooku and broke my heart

Episode 5 —

All of Ahsoka’s dads in the same waiting room

Oh mullet Obi Wan, how I’ve missed you

Love this outfit, the white leggings are everything

CALEB!!!!! Dippa!!!!

I feel like Jedi are supposed to have a somewhat parental relationship with their Padawan, and Anakin goes straight to antagonistic older brother

REX! MY BOY!

How did this conversation go? Hey Rex, you and the guys wanna fire some blasters at Ahsoka for no reason? ugh… sure I guess

Fuckin Jesse “Sorry Commader!”

Honestly I feel like Anakin is just taking out some weird emotions or aggression out on Ahsoka

Okay sure you want to protect her by teaching her to protect herself, but there are almost certainly better ways to do that… like giving critique to what she’s doing or modifying the challenge with each round

Damn Rex, face shot

I swear to god if they make me watch Order 66 again

7/10 was a good episode, kind of irritated me because Anakin’s teaching style rubs me the wrong way

Episode 6 —

Not the cold open with Padme’s funeral….

NO Ahsoka was there

Sometimes I forget that Ahsoka didn’t have that many female figures in her life….

“She was my friend”

AAHHHHH the Corrie guard….. but now the Empire is in control…. This is like Bad Batch era

The Corries are like….. uh okay?

REX!!!

I love that Ahsoka did a stint as a farm hand after dropping out of Jedi school

Ooooh she used The Force…. are they gonna nark on her??

Ashla…. That’s such a pretty name

Do I smell….. a love interest???

This is… not going to go well

Ooooooh that fucking brother is a squealer

Oh my god… man fuck the Empire

Who the fuck is this?

Cowboy stand off, love it

I forgot she doesn’t have sabers anymore

Fuck that was cool!

OMG this is how she gets her white sabers!

I wonder how much time has passed?

Woooooo! REBELLION!!!

10/10 it always hurts, but like in the right way to be reminded that the Empire fucking sucks and there is always hope.

Since this was pretty short, I’m gonna watch more stuff. Might not do a reaction post though.

Happy Star Wars Day!

May the Force be with you!

#Krax Watches #Krax Chats #Tales of The Jedi

[dominionsweep]

DOMINION SMP SEXYMAN BRACKET: ROUND 2, MATCH 4

So uh, the thing is, I did in fact design these brackets specifically to be mean and also to parallel things in the series? Which is why Shadow's fighting Grady and now Jamie. Oh, hey, also I can say "and why they ourple" again! Neat!

(Remember: Consider your personal qualifications for a Tumblr or MCYTblr sexyman when voting, not just who you like more/who's more popular!)

KNOW YOUR CANDIDATES:

Jamie

Origin: Dragonborn

Elected queen of the server early into Season 1, and almost immediately implements a tax of "give me all your diamonds, yes all of them, all your diamond gear also, and do it every two weeks while you're at it."

Tried to stop everyone from killing the Ender Dragon, failed, exploded, and Came Back Wrong (aka, possessed by the Void). Able to do a really creepy voice filter whenever she wants and starts sacrificing animals to the Void during this time, as well as continuing to hoard diamonds.

Eventually exorcised via the combined effort of all Dominion members. Except she doesn't remember being evil. And then the apocalypse happens, she explodes again, and now she's a resident of the Outer End with no memory of anything that happened in the entire series. So that went great.

Shadow

Origin: Witherborn

Hitman for hire and probably one of the best PvPers on the server, able to hold his own in a 2v1 vs Jamie and Grady at one point. Worked as an enforcer for the crown but could very much still be bought if you know what you're doing.

Struggled a lot with his urges towards chaos. Likes explosions but is technically not a Witherborn by birth and very much had to deal with the fallout of those two sides warring. Has a consistent soft spot for Sneve.

Is currently on a silent, murderous rampage through Season 2 that has only been tempered by the fact that he's taking a break IRL. Only logs in during blood moons, doesn't speak to anyone, and attacks pretty much everyone that gets close. He did give Joy some armor and play Pigstep for Viking, though.

#dominionsweep #mcytblr sexymen poll #mcytblrsexymen #mcytblr sexyman #mcytblr sexyman bracket

[dinamnealey]

HBO'S VELMA... WASN'T VERY GOOD

(crossposted from https://artofdinam.com/)

Soooooooo… I saw the first episode of HBO’s Velma. You know, the “adult” Scooby-Doo show that doesn’t have Scooby in it, and features lots of “edgy” humour and lots of self-referential mockery, and which fans declared to be the worst thing ever before it even came out.

But I was willing to give it a chance. I’m all for new takes on old franchises, even if I don’t really see the point of Scooby-Doo if the dog isn’t there. (This was apparently an executive decision, mind; the higher-ups at Warner Animation explicitly told the showrunners that the dog was off-limits.)

Besides, I kind of like Mindy Kaling, show runner and also the voice of this incarnation of Velma. She’s not my fave comedian or anything, and she’s done and said some stuff I REALLY don’t agree with… but I adored The Sex Lives of College Girls (also on HBO), and even if Mindy did like one tweet by hyper-transphobe JKR, she was nothing but supportive towards teen actress Josie Totah (whom I mainly know as Lexi from the tragically-too-brief 2020 revamp of Saved by the Bell) when she came out as transgender, and seems fairly LGBTQ-positive otherwise… so I’m willing to accept that this one like was a mistake and not a declaration of hatred towards trans people.

I won’t lie, when I saw the trailer for the show, I thought it was kind of funny. A bit on the nose with the self-referential humour, but still… so It was with cautious optimism I sat down to watch the first episode. And… well, here’s roughly what happened. 

DINA M’S (somewhat parodic, very critical) RECAP OF THE FIRST EPISODE OF VELMA

Velma: Origin stories suck. They’re sexist and stuff. Anyway, here’s my origin story, which doesn’t suck because I’m cool and everyone sucks but me.

Daphne: Hello, I’m a pretty teenage girl in the girls’ locker room. I’m going to go take a shower with my equally pretty classmates.  Equally Pretty Classmates: We’re pretty and naked. Look how naked we are! Daphne: Now that we’ve got the viewer’s attention, let’s turn this communal shower into a discussion forum an talk about how gratuitous nudity in pilot episodes is bad! Other Girl: Nah, gratutious nudity in pilot episodes is HOT. Almost as hot as pointless naked catfights in the shower. Daphne: I’ll give you pointless naked catfight in the shower! Daphne and Other Girl: (Have pointless naked catfight in the shower.) Daphne: This is gratuitous, you slut!! Other girl: This is sexy, you whore!!

Velma: (arrives fully clothed) Velma: (beats Daphne with a stick) Velma: Why are we talking about this and not about race-blind casting in TV shows! By the way, I’m Asian in this show, and Daphne’s a bitch. Daphne: I’m Asian too and YOU’RE a bitch! Other Girl: Wouldn’t it be hot if you two kissed now? Velma: This isn’t Riverdale. We’re not melodramatic enough. Like I said, everyone sucks but me. Velma: (goes to open her locker) Dead Girl: (falls out) Dead Girl: (is dead) Velma: Okay, that girl sucks AND she’s dead.

One short title sequence later…

Velma: (is in handcuffs at the police station) Velma: Well, this is a great beginning to a mystery. Oops, I said “mystery.” Velma: (has a creepy hallucination) Lesbian cops: (enter) Lesbian cops: Hello, sweetie honey sugar pie, ex-friend of our daughter Daphne, whom we totally adore. Velma: You guys suck. My mother disappeared two years ago and you haven’t found her. Lesbian cops: Oh yeah? Well, YOU KILLED THAT DEAD GIRL! CONFESS, YOU MURDERER! Velma: I’m not a murderer, it’s just that I want to kill everyone because they suck. Lesbian cops: Okay, well, you’re still our number one suspect. Now go investigate and find the real murderer. You have 24 hours before we arrest you.

Velma: Lesbians suck. Hey, is that Fred? SWOON. Fred: Yeah, isn’t it so hot that I’m so hot? Fred: (takes selfies) Fred: Who are you, by the way? Velma: I’m Velma. We’ve known each other for years. Fred: Yeah, well, I’m a narcissist or something, so I don’t care. Daphne: (arrives) Daphne: Stay away from my boyfriend, bitch! You killed Dead Girl! Hey, Fred, wanna make out? Fred: Okay. Fred and Daphne: (make out) Velma: I didn’t kill Dead Girl. I don’t know who did, it’s a mystery. Oops, I said “mystery.” Velma: (has a creepy hallucination)

Velma: Dad, I’m being accused of a murder I didn’t commit! Velma’s father: Yeah, well, it’s your own fault. Ever since your mother disappeared, you’ve been lame. Velma: I’m not lame, you’re lame! And you got a waitress pregnant! Waitress: I’m not just a waitress, I’m the owner of the malt shop! But more important… I’m pregnant! Let me pose for naked photos! Look how naked and pregnant I am! Waitress: (poses naked) Fetus: (poses as well) Velma’s father: (takes pictures) Velma: My dad’s taking nude pictures of his pregnant girlfriend, with his daughter in the room. Velma: And the baby in her belly is posing too, making creepy-shaped bumps on her belly. Velma: There’s something disturbing and wrong about this, but I can think what… Velma: Oh, wait, I know what’s wrong here. Velma: WE DON’T HAVE A CAMERA! WHERE DID MY DAD GET A CAMERA?!

Daphne (is making a speech) Daphne: Thanks for coming to this wake for Dead Girl I’m so sad she’s dead. I mean, she was a slut and a whore, but still. Daphne: By the way, while I have your attention, I just want to say Velma’s a bitch. Velma: Fuck you too. Daphne: My lesbian cop mothers told me she was the one who killed Dead Girl! Lesbian cops: Daphhne, we told you not to tell anyone how little we care about the confidentiality issues!

Fred: I’m sad that Dead Girl’s dead, too. OH NO BEING SAD MEANS I’M NOT A MAN! Velma: If it helps, I have creepy hallucinations. Fred: Who are you again? Velma: Still Velma. We’ve still known each other for years. Fred: And I’m still a narcissist. Or have some other condition I’m not sure the writers bothered to define. Fred: Or I’m just a self-obsessed douche. I don’t know. Fred: So what’s this about hallucinations? Velma: Well, my mom was a writer. She wrote mystery novels. Oops, I said “mystery.” Velma: (has a creepy hallucination) Velma: No, wait, this is a flashback scene that reveals my angsty past. We can’t muddle this up with creepy hallucinations. For this one scene, I can say the word “mystery” without having a creepy hallucination, okay? Fred: Um, okay. So… mystery. Velma: Mystery. My mom wrote mysteries. And she was the one who gave me my love for solving mysteries. Velma: Two years ago I solved the mystery of where she hid my Christmas presents. She went out to get me another Christmas present, That was the last I ever saw of her. Velma: The lesbian cops found her car, abandoned and empty except for her glasses and a wrapped present for me. Velma: So I did the only logical thing. I swore off mysteries for good, started wearing her classes, despite not actually needing glasses, and vowed never to open that present. Velma: That’s totally not foreshadowing, by the way. Velma: And ever since then I’ve had creepy hallucinations. It’s because I feel so guilty. My mystery obsession had caused my mother’s disappearance.  Fred: Wow. Learning this made me emotionally connect with you. I even remember your name now. Fred: Well, bye. Fred: (leaves)

Norville: Hey! I’m in this show too! Norville: I know who killed Dead Girl. Norville: By which I mean I don’t know who killed Dead Girl. Norville: By which I mean I can guess who killed Dead Girl. Norville: By which I mean I can’t guess who killed Dead Girl. Norville: DON’T DO DRUGS, KIDS! Velma: Is there a point to any of this? Norville: Yeah. See, before Dead Girl died, I lent her my camera to take pictures in the bathroom at the malt shop. Norville: NOT FOR CREEPY REASONS, OKAY?! I just suspected there to be drug dealing going on in that bathroom. Norville: DRUGS ARE BAD. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I HATE DRUGS. Norville: But now Dead Girl’s dead and the camera’s missing. Velma: Camera?! OMG! My dad suddenly has a camera! That can’t be a coincidence!!

Velma: (arrives home) Velma: (snatches the camera) Velma: Wait, there’s nothing on this camera but a bunch of pictures of babies dressed as vegetables. Velma’s father: Yes, the waitress and I have been taking vegetable baby pictures. Waitress: That was how we paid for the camera. Velma: There are so many questions here that I don’t want the answer to.  Velma: But if this isn’t Norville’s camera, the mystery is who DID take Norville’s… Oops, I said “mystery.” Velma: (has a creepy hallucination) Velma’s dad: Dammit, Velma, stop having those creepy hallucinations! Velma: I can’t, I’m too consumed with guilt! My mom vanished because of my mystery obsession! Velma’s dad: No, Velma. It’s been two years, so I suppose now’s the perfect time to tell you: Your mother didn’t vanish because of your mystery obsession. Velma: ….she didn’t? Velma’s dad: Not at all. She just ran off because you’re a terrible person. Velma: Oh. Well, that’s different. That’s nothing to feel guilty about!  Velma’s dad: Exactly! No more guilt! Velma: No more guilt! Waitress: And now that you don’t feel guilty, why not start dressing sexy? Velma: That’s an awesome idea!

Velma: (enters school) Velma: (is wearing sexy clothes) Schoolkids: Wow, Velma’s hot now! We love her! YAY! Schoolkids: (flirt with Velma) Girl: No, we don’t! She killed Dead Girl! We hate her! Schoolkids: Oh, okay, then. We hate her! BOO! Schoolkids: (throw things at Velma) Fred: No, don’t hate her! I talked to her yesterday, and she’s just sad. Schoolkids: Oh, okay then. We’re indifferent to her! YAWN. Schoolkids: (ignore Velma)

Velma: (cleans up in the bathroom) Velma: (is wearing her regular outfit again) Daphne: (enters) Daphne: So, Fred tells everyone not to hate you, huh? I guess he’s YOUR boyfriend now? Daphne: Whatever. I didn’t want him anyway. We’ve been together for a year and he hasn’t tried to fuck me even once. Velma: He hasn’t? Is he gay? Daphne: …YOU’RE gay! Velma: … Daphne: And Fred never even lets anyone see him naked! Even in the bathroom at the malt shop! Daphne: (leaves) Velma: That was a weirdly specific note to end on. Velma: OMG! The bathroom at the malt shop! Dead Girl was going to take pictures there!  Velma: And that’s the very same bathroom that Fred doesn’t want to be seen naked in! THIS CAN’T BE A COINCIDENCE!

Velma: Norville! Fred killed Dead Girl and stole your camera! Help me break into his house so we can find the camera! Norville: Okay. Velma: (breaks into Fred’s house) Norville: (waits outside) Norville: (gets bored) Norville: (calls Velma on the phone) Velma: Not now, Norville! I’m in the middle of solving the mystery! Oops, I said “mystery.” Velma: (has creepy hallucination) Norville: No, don’t hallucinate! I love you! Velma: You love me? Hah! That’s so funny I stopped hallucinating!

Velma: (finds the camera) Fred: (enters) Fred: You can’t have that camera! There’s a picture of me in it! Velma: So I was right! Dead Girl did take a picture of you in the bathroom! Fred: Yes… and now I’m gonna do the same to you as I did to her. Fred: (psycho grin) Velma: Help! He’s gonna kill me like he killed Dead Girl!! Lesbian cops: (enter) Lesbian cops: (shoot Fred in the kneecaps) Fred: (falls over in pain) Fred: I wasn’t going to kill her, I was going to bribe her to keep her mouth shut! Just like I bribed Dead Girl to give me the camera! Fred: The fact that I talked and acted like a psycho has nothing to do with it! Lesbian cops: Whatever. You’re arrested for the murder of Dead Girl, punk. Fred: But I didn’t kill Dead Girl! Lesbian cops: Yeah, that’s exactly what Velma said too. We didn’t believe her either. Lesbian cops: Oh, hi, Velma. Guess you’re innocent after all.

Norville: Well, that’s that, I guess. Norville: So why do you still have hallucinations if you don’t feel guilty about your mother anymore? Velma: Because while being a terrible person isn’t a valid reason to feel guilty, being obsessed with mysteries is. And I realized she DID vanish because of my mystery obsession. Norville: Okay. Norville: Hey, what’s this in your garbage? Another Dead Girl: (is also dead) Velma: Oh no! Here we go again!

…yeah, this wasn’t very impressive. I think I see why this show fails. Self-aware comedy really only works if you’re actually self-aware. And dramatic revelations about a character’s traumatic past don’t really have the same impact if you introduce plot twists about them five seconds later. 

There is the core of something half-decent here, but it’s sort of ruined by how the characters seem to be… not so much characters as mouthpieces for whatever criticism of pop culture and fans of pop culture that the writers have. (Trust me, I cut out a LOT of the snarky trope discussions and Velma mocking pop culture cliches.) The entire thing moves much too fast; you’re not allowed to get a feel for the characters and the setting before the dialogue tries to deconstruct and mock them. And as a murder mystery it falls flat because the mystery fails to engage. There’s just no reason to care who killed Dead Girl when the characters are all flat and unlikeable. 

Maybe the show gets better as it goes on, but the first episodeis a definite failure.

[vicky82gargoylesfan]

My Thoughts on X-Men 97 Episode 7 Bright Eyes

Another awesome episode, it was very heavy too. Again it has brilliant dialogue and animation. love the affects of wet hair in the rain.

Spoilers, also thought be best to put a trigger warning for grief, attempted suicide ect.

Damn! I didn't expect the episode to start with Gambit's funeral, I was not prepared for that.

I see Gambit's ex wife and his brother are there. Who's the black and white haired lady.

Nightcrawler is doing the funeral, the eulogy was beautiful.

Rogue is not at the funeral, she's gone Rogue

Oh damn! Rogue certainly trashes that secret base.

Oh cool it's Ross but not totally surprised as another Marvel character appears later.

President Kelly makes an appearance and he's being voiced by Morph's old voice actor from the original series.

I love how Cyclops has his visor round the back of his neck like headphones.

Hmm interesting, Jean has her hair down.

Nice to Amelia again.

I already knew that Captain America appears, I hope other Marvel characters appear.

Rogue confronts him, who is also looking for Gyrich. I just love that he's letting Rogue hold his shield.

OZT - Operation Zero Tolerance, I know that story.

Rogue throwing his shield was hilarious.

Hmm, are we getting a bit of Dark Beast.

Rogue found Gyrich in Mexico, she tries to absorb his memories but we only see a glimpse of Nimrod.

Cyclops and Jean find Emma Frost alive, she survived when her secondary mutation activated her diamond form.

Scott thought Madelyn might have survived but he teared up, pretty sweet of Jean consoling him then.

Roberto tells his Mum that he's a mutant but she already knew and is fine about it but wants to keep it private because money is more important.

Nightcrawler consoling Rogue was so sweet, I love that he called her his sister. Rogue wailing was so heart-breaking and I ended up in tears too.

Yikes!!!! there is actually an on screen murder happening. Bastion kills Gyrich by suffocating him.

Lol at everyone crammed in that elevator and Morph drinking that diet drink.

Oh damn!! Trask wants to end his own life.

Rogue 'killing' him was shocking, she didn't want him to end his own life because she wanted to kill him herself.

Love this shot

I know 3 of them could have saved him but they were probably in shock too.

Turns out Trask isn't dead, he turned into a prime Sentinel and took out Rogue. Hope she's ok, Nightcrawler saves her and we don't see them again

Love the team up moment between Jean and Cyclops. Jean throwing that building into the sea was awesome.

Love the Quicksilver cameo there by Morph.

Yikes!!! Prime Sentinel Trask takes out them out.

Wooo Cable!!!

Scott finds out Cable is Nathan, love the tension there.

So Sinister is working for Bastion. Does that happen in the comics I can't remember.

They find out Xavier is alive. due to getting hold of some Shi'ar technology and Lilandra is announcing her wedding engagement to Charles. So it does look like episode 6 and 7 are happening at the same time, that's probably why Storm wasn't at the funeral.

What is this song The Purple People Eater, I've never even heard it before.

Magneto is alive!!!!!! I did have a feeling he was but he is now captured by Bastion but how did he survive.

Bastion is very creepy, scary villain. That shaving scene was weird. What's he planning to do with Magneto? brainwash him, use him as a scapegoat, what? I'm so confused.

Again great episode can't wait for next weeks episode but i'm very nervous especially its the start of the 3 part final.

#x men #x men 97

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 08x04 Bitten

“What song is this?” “apple” “Once bitten, twice shy” 🎶supernatural🎶 “instead of Kimmy Schmidt coming out of the basement, it’s Castiel” “Let’s go in blind with no recap” “Hollywood OS” “what the fuck” “Don’t be creepy dude” “LIKE YOUR COCK” “What is up with the fkn walls? Clean your house. Fkn shit, dude” “I don’t understand what’s happening’ “He’s jealous of the other guy. That makes sense” “Fkn nerd. Third wheel” “Is that a tectontrics. It’s a direct drive turn table” “Oh shit” laughter

“What does the not reliable type mean to you?” “I recognize the song but don’t know what the hell it is” “the leaf hole. I don’t know what I’m talking about” “stuffing cameras into holes and stuff” “Nope” “Isn’t that the kid he punched?” “It’s slightly misty so someone is obviously going to get murdered” “911 is going to come to your house now. That’s not how that works” “She probably only weighs like 120lbs. Come on” “He’s going to say that they should go out” “It’s Dean Winchester at the door, probably” “Gotta hide the 3foot bong. Of course. Just throw a flower in it; no one will know” “Dean did all the talking with his eyes” “That’s quite the skill” “Is he going to explode now or something?” “What the fuck is going on?” “oh yeah nice” “That’s not creepy at all” “Halfway between a werewolf or a vampire? He’s going to nails but also the teeth?” “Mmhmm” “If he could run so fast, why did he leave his shit behind? It doesn’t make sense. They did that for the drama” “That’s not creepy at all” “yeah let’s put all of that on video” “There were way too many tan people in that scene” “Maybe PeePee ate the guy’s heart” “Do it” “Oh hell yeah” “She would have run off a long time ago.” “sigh” “As you zoom in, the audio gets better. That’s how that works” “what the hell county are you in that the biggest animal is a raccoon? There’s no eagles or deer or turkeys? Come the fuck on” “Feed the monster. Is this the moment we play lady gaga?” “Uh huh. It’s how it works” “is there scientific research on how far a human can spit? Is it wider than I think it is” “boobies” “Big P’s?” “That’s the most obvious camera out of a bag I’ve ever seen” “Let me just drink my coffee with my mirrorless video camera in a giant bag” “zombie Jesus” laughter

“It’s something you can’t see until your print it out.” “oh yeah let’s split up. Good idea” “There’s not enough Dean Winchester in this one for me. Gotta get my fix” “laughter” “These guys need some fkn anger management courses. Holy shit” “Didn’t he grab the camera? How is it still up there?” “what a weird episode” “nice” “They’re all going to kill each other somehow” laughter

“Just stab his ass come on” “what the fuck is happening” “oh there we go” “This house is fucked” silent clapping “sounds like some Jim James shit” “hey we’re back” laughter

“Mmhmm” “Mmmhmm” humming along to the song

#beautifulspouserewatchesspn #supernatural rewatch #supernatural #supernatural s8