#ok sorry BYE LOOK AT MY GOATS BOY

[khaleesiofalicante]

Ok imma be honest, this chapter moved me to tears and not the sad sobbing but the more inspiring kind. This chapter means the world.

She had told them her dreams were about ducks – since there were the only equally horrible thing she could think of.

Uncle Magnus had given her an odd look then, as if he knew she was bullshitting them. But he hadn’t said anything.

DUCKS AREN'T THAT BAD! HAVE Y'ALL EVER BEEN CHASED BY A GOAT?? I WAS CONVINCED I WAS GONNA DIE

Lexi would be royally pissed if this turned out to be some stupid pointless dream.

YUP

Even though she was only 7 minutes older than Lexi, Selena always acted like she was 7 years older.

That's so cute though

People looked at her pastel-coloured aesthetic immediately assumed she was the soft and sweet Fairchild twin. People saw Selena in her red leather jacket and thigh high boots and assumed she was in the infamous troublesome Herondale twin.

SMH THE DAMN STEREOTYPES

Why Selena hadn’t killed her in her sleep yet, Lexi doesn’t know.

BYE THAT'S EVERY SIBLING RELATIONSHIP EVER

The meals at the Academy were to die for – quite literally. Last week two students from the warlock fraction had almost killed each other over a blueberry muffin.

Oh how times change...they will never know the dreaded soup

NO ANJALI HAS BEEN GONE FOR OVER A YEAR???

IS JAIME OK?? PLEASE BE OK! HE CAN LIVE WITH TREATMENT SO I REALLY HOPE HE'S OK

Selena’s was Idris of course. She was kind of obsessed with it.

Max loved the shadow markets. Lexi thought they were very cool too.

Rafael loved his father’s office – which was weird. There was nothing to do in that room other than ponder about shadow world problems. Besides, the place still weirdly smelled like the tangerine perfume Anjali wore, even though the girl had left New York almost a year ago.

David loved the New York Institute – especially the library.

Gigi of course loved the dining halls.

Dining halls, kitchens, food trucks, vending machines - if a place had food with it, Gigi loved it.

It's so amazing how they all have their favorite places...(same David same)

“You’re supposed to pour the syrup on the pancakes not into your mouth,” Lexi chuckled as she sat down next to her.

“It ends up in my mouth anyway,” Gigi shrugged.

True enough.

AWW ROMAN MAKING GIGI PLAYLISTS!!

Someone make me a playlist.

“His parents fell in love in Rome when they were in Rome,” Gigi pointed out even though Lexi already knew. “I think it’s actually romantic.”

I had forgotten that-

Roman was nice. But not nice enough for Georgia. Lexi didn’t think there was anyone good enough for her parabatai – who was the most perfect person in the world.

Me @ anyone who tries to make a move at my best friend.

AWW GEORGIA LIKES HIM TOO!!

When's the wedding?

(you're telling me you didn't believe you were gonna marry your childhood crush? Liar)

“I like being his friend,” Georgia said. “I like spending time with him and all of that. But I don’t know if I like him…in that way. I feel like I need more time.”

Demiromantic??? YES GIVE US THE REP

Lexi sometimes thought life would be so much simpler if the world was full of women and everyone was a lesbian.

Ikr?? Life would be so much easier.

Lexi says Roman is too-nice-sus

Well well well

The kind of love that cheated death.

The kind of love that sustained memory spells put by princes of hell.

The kind of love that changed the world.

Trust me all of our standards are very high

Lexi successfully survived the class without falling asleep.

Me during English.

Ok who's the blond?

Lexi I thought we weren't gonna fall this soon-

Oh the girl's straight...sigh we've all been there.

which meant they had to hold hands. Kinda.

Lexi was a little scared of that.

Me.

Goddamnit, Alexandra. Get your gay together!

THAT'S SO RELATABLE LIKE?? YES

OH MY GOD IT'S EMMA AND JULIAN'S DAUGHTER GEIDIDHDOHDJSKSJSKGXJDHSODHKDGDDGDJHDJDGDJDGJDHD

Lexi knew Olivia liked boys. She hadn’t dated anyone officially of course. All the boys were kind of terrified of her father.

She could be bi or pan or omni. WE GOTTA HAVE HOPE

vegetable loaf... David I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

Lexi then decided not to do any of her homework over the weekend because she was not coming back to the academy. She was not going to survive the sleepover and whatever else Olivia had in mind.

Bestie...why is this me when I make eye contact with my crush.

“Good stuff?” Max snorted. “Rafe literally ran away from home cause shit got too intense.”

“I didn’t run away!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Stop telling people that!”

“But you have rumours and shadowhunters getting thrown into silent city and cohort drama and all that exciting stuff!” Liv pointed out.

I-

Liv-

True though.

“Wasn’t there a serial killer when your parents were young?” David asked.

“And didn’t your uncle do necromancy?” Max said biting into a chicken wing.

True and true

“Sorry, Chouchou!” Lexi winced. “I, uh, sensed a mosquitoe on your leg.”

“Girl, your angel powers are weird as fuck,” Max laughed.

MAX LANGUAGE

“I don’t know,” the girl shrugged and threw her a wink. “I wouldn’t put anything past Lexi.”

Lexi looked at Gigi. She was one more compliment away from screaming.

But Gigi of course knew her struggle and therefore quickly stuffed a bread roll into Lexi’s mouth.

I need someone to stuff bread into my mouth when things get like this

There were rumours about David – and how Daddy had an affair. Lexi was yet to find those asshats and shove a witch light down their throats.

When you find them lemme know too.

“Or maybe it’s because you don’t need rumours be interesting,” David pointed out.

Max turned around, looking surprised at that. His cheeks turned purple. Lexi didn’t know why he was surprised. David only ever spoke fondly of Max.

JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY OH MY GOD

“Oh. Oh! I did hear something a long time ago!” Gigi said suddenly. “Olly, is it true you were conceived at the beach?”

“Georgia, you can’t just ask people where they were conceived!” David sounded horrified.

That is very much possible.

“I heard you were conceived in hell?”

“Oh my god,” Selena looked horrified. “That’s not true! It must have been about Max!”

“Y’all I am adopted!” Max was shaking with laughter and then stopped. “Although our dads could have definitely had sex in hell. I wouldn’t put it past them.”

Oh yes. Both clace and malec.

Then they had of course continued to discuss that cursed topic until Rafael had threatened to tell the Consul about it.

LMAO

Lexi turned around and saw Liv waiting for her. Nope. She wasn’t going to talk a walk – a fucking stroll! – with Olivia all on her own.

“You are coming back to the institute with me or I will un-parabatai you.”

You know there being an un-parabatai ceremony would solve a lot of shit

What if their hands accidentally grazed or something? That shit was lethal.

RIGHT????

She is just trying to be nice. That’s what friends do. They are nice. And they give each other pretty dresses and say they would like to see them in it.

Honey that's gay.

EVERYONE ASKING HER OUT IM DEAD

Selena: Ugh boys

Selena: When I win back Idris, we are leaving all the men behind.

Lexi: Except Magnus? Lol.

Selena: Obviously.

Is that even a question Lexi? Duh.

ALEC LIGHTWOOD THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT? THE SHAME!

OH MY GOD IM CACKLING

Not everyone can kiss their partner in the Accords Hall. Some people didn’t have access to the Accords Hall.

And most important, some people didn’t have partners!

We're getting a lexi and Alec talk someone hold me

“I’m going to tell you something,” Uncle Alec said. “It might sound simple. It might sound ridiculous. But it’s the truth. So, you must believe me. Can you do that?”

Lexi gave him a small nod.

“It doesn’t matter what other people think,” Uncle Alec said. “Not when it comes to your future. Not when it comes to your identity. They don’t get to have a say in who you are and why you are the way you are.”

Lexi bit her lip.

“Alexandra, people will always tell what to do. But you shouldn’t let them. Never let anyone tell you what to do with your heart or your body. Neither belongs them. It only belongs to you.”

THIS RIGHT HERE MADE ME START CRYING BECAUSE DAMN YES!

“Yep,” she groaned and then hesitated for a moment. “Uncle Alec…Can I ask you something stupid?”

“Can I say no?”

“No.”

“Then go ahead.”

I love her so much

“I feel…I feel it’s something we have to bear, Alexandra. The fear of rejection. It’s something we have to accept as an inevitable part of our lives. Because no matter how much love we have around us, we will always be afraid of people not loving us – simply because of who we are.”

Yeah...

“Besides, they named you after me,” he pointed out. “I don’t know what else they expected.”

EXACTLY! Did they really expect a straight child after naming them after Alec?

“I do like shouting,” Lexi wondered out loud. “That’s good advice.”

“I didn’t mean it literally!” Uncle Alec looked alarmed.

“No, it makes total sense!” Lexi grinned. “Some of these people can be tone deaf. Gotta shout it out. Loud and clear. Awesome advice! Thanks, Uncle Alec!”

DO IT

“Hey, Lexi. I was wonderin-”

“MOVE, I’M GAY!” she yelled as she shoved him aside and kept on running.

ABSOLUTELY ICONIC

“I prefer she/her,” Lexi answered. "But sometimes I prefer she/they. But you can use she/her because some of y'all already shit at grammar."

That's exactly what I tell people when they ask for my pronouns. Istg people are shit at grammar.

alright girl im here to give you a lecture on how someone's dressing doesn't describe their sexuality

OH MY MY GOD THERE WAS A GENDER AND SEXUALITY CLASS IN THE ACADEMY ARE THEY RECRUITING???

One of the boys who had complimented cleared his throat. “So, uh, you don’t like boys?”

“That’s literally what I said,” Lexi rolled her eyes. “I’m gay. I’m very gay. I’m gayer than the Consul. Okay fine, that’s not true. No one gayer than the Consul. But I’m still pretty gay.”

Does the boy have hearing problems?

ALSO YES NO ONE'S GAYER THAN THE CONSUL

“Sexual orientation and gender expression are two different things,” she explained now, remember what Uncle Magnus had taught them. “Sexual orientation refers to who I am sexually and romantically attracted to. Gender expression is how I want to express my gender identity. Those two are not connected. Just because a woman wears feminine clothes it doesn’t mean she is straight. Just because a man embraces femininity, it doesn’t make him gay either. Does that make sense?”

“Ohhh,” the girl nodded. “Yes, it does. Thank you!”

“What I wear does not reflect who I like. It reflects who I am and what I like to wear,” Lexi explained. “And regardless of my sexuality, I like pretty things.”

Exactly.

“This doesn’t change anything. I hope you know that,” he told her. “I mean I have to change the pronouns in my shovel talk. But that’s not a big deal.”

Awwww

Also – my good friend Raziel told me that homophobia is a sin.”

“You mean homosexuality is a sin?” an older man asked.

“No, homophobia is a sin,” Lexi repeated. “That’s what Raziel said.”

“But that’s not-”

Someone cleared their throat. When he spoke, it was in the Consul Voice.

“Are you saying know better than Raziel?” the Consul asked.

Listen to Raziel you dumb shit

“Sure. Let me just call the Lesbian Alliance,” Lexi rolled her eyes.

Ugh I wish

OH NO NO NO NOT THE FAKE DATING. JUST CONFESS AND DATE FOR REAL

“Alexandra, I have a fucking undercut and I have pink highlights and I cuff my jeans and I literally walk around with a sword and I can quote Lady Gaga to perfection! Why would you ever think I was straight??”

Lexi your gaydar is broken bestie.

Don't do this omg this is gonna be a mess

Gigi: THIS IS A BAD IDEA. ABORT! ABORT!

Lexi: Relaaaax. It’s going to be fine!

Gigi: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know the fake dating trope never ends well!

Lexi: I’ve told you to include the ‘angst with happy ending’ tag!

LMAO

Also Gigi which fanfiction do you read?

Jace omg...

That's so him though.

“How about my peeps? It sounds very hip.”

“It does not,” Lexi replied. “Please don’t refer to us as your peeps under any circumstance."

IM SCREAMING ASHSKHSIDBSHSHDH

Her father chuckled at that. “Sweetheart, you’re a Herondale. Being problematic is what we do.”

EXACTLY

Daddy opened the notebook again. “I need names.”

Grabs flamethrower names

“Besides, the Lightwoods and Blackthorns have been hogging the gay genes for too long. Now it’s our turn. I say you gay it up.”

“Gay it up?” Lexi laughed.

“Yeah,” he grinned. “Go for the highest possible level of gay.”

DO IT

He blinked for a second and then it hit him. “OH MY GOD YES! DOES EMMA KNOW??”

Lexi laughed. Yeah, he can never find out it was a fake dating situation.

Hopefully he won't have to because it won't be fake :D

“To love is a privilege and to be loved is a blessing.”

THE GROWTH OH MY GOD

This chapter literally means so much to me. I don't even know what to say. I hope I too can one day have the courage to shout it in front of everyone and not be scared. See ya on Tuesday!

It means so much to me that this chapter meant a lot to you. I hope you find all the courage, strength and support you need. You are amazing.

And here. I made you a playlist.

You can find it here on YouTube. I hope you like it :)

#lbaf

[mxchellesworld]

𝟑 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝 - 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟓

𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐂𝐚𝐭 𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐫𝐮𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐞𝐧𝐯𝐲.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mentions of sex and masturbation 

𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

***

It had been a few days since you’d seen Cat and Spencer. After lunch you decided it was time to make your way back home. A quick exchange of numbers and the promise of seeing each other soon and you were back to your mundane routine of getting adjusted to the city. The short uber ride to your apartment, which they insisted they paid for, was spent answering texts from your friends and confirming you were still alive after they left you. 

You spent the rest of the day doing laundry for the week and cleaning bits of your apartment. It was still pretty bleak, with empty walls which you longed to fill with pictures and art. Your room was a bit more lively with knitted blankets your aunt made long ago and the light of the warm lamp in the corner filling the space. 

Sunday was bland with the task of getting groceries. You decided to walk since the store was a block away. You made your way down the streets in a simple sweater and leggings, foregoing any makeup. Walking into the store the older lady at the register greeted you with a kind smile. 

Picking up a basket you made your way down the isles trying to get your things quickly to get back home and sleep the day away. While searching the snack section you stood in front of the popcorn deciding between buttered or kettle. You heard footsteps and saw a worker make his way down to restock the shelf. 

He was tall and you noticed the way his shirt rose as he reached the top shelf. Spencer could probably reach that no problem, you thought to yourself. He caught you staring and turned to you with a smile. 

“Having a movie night?” he asked walking closer. You could smell the scent of his cologne, strong but not overpowering.  

“Not really haha, but don’t get me wrong a catch up day of my favorite show is definitely on the list,” you replied returning with a small smile. 

He leaned in reaching for one of the boxes, subtly boxing you into the space. 

“Well this is my favorite kind,” he said handing you the box, “Ya know perfect to amount to eat alone.. or share.” 

“Oh,” you said surprised with a chuckle trying to play off the heat rushing to your cheeks. 

You were about to respond when you heard a voice from the end of the aisle, “Y/n.” 

Think of the devil and he shall appear.

Spencer was walking over to you holding his own basket filled with essentials like milk and bread. He looked like he did on Saturday, wearing those grey sweatpants which made you thank the stars above. On top he had on a simple tshirt and cardigan combo making him look extra cozy. 

“Hey Spence,” you said looking past the employee. 

“Did you get the popcorn baby?” he said looking the worker up and down. 

You furrowed your brow seeing what he was playing at, “Yeah yeah, he was just giving me a recommendation,” you turned back to the worker, “thanks again.” 

The worker nodded, red in the cheeks from facing Spencers death glare, before he walked away and rounded the corner. 

“What the fuck was that,” you both said at the same time. 

“He was just trying to help,” you said waving around the box of popcorn. 

“Come on princess you’re smarter than that. He was obviously trying to flirt with you.”

You scoffed before answering, “What don’t tell me you’re jealous.” 

“Oh I’m not,” he said with a smirk, “I’m confident in the fact we’ve proved who you belong to.”

You rolled your eyes before he spoke again, “Plus I know a boy like him could never satisfy a greedy little whore like you. Tell me, are the handprints still there?”

You opened and closed your mouth not being able to answer him. The laugh he let out told you he new he had won. 

“I think I’m done shopping,” you said walking past him. 

“Alright princess have a good rest of your day. But don’t think Cats not hearing about this, and she won’t be very happy.”

You felt your insides heat up at the thought of Cat knowing. What she would do to you. 

“Uh huh bye Sir,” you said stressing the title. 

You made your way to the older lady who you saw when you walked in, “Find everything alright?” she asked kindly. You nodded and pulled out your wallet to pay. 

God she had no idea. 

_

That interaction replayed in your mind from that night into your days at work. Neither of them had texted. Maybe Spencer forgot and never told Cat. The wait for something to happen was torturous. 

Your friend had noticed you were spaced out. Looking longingly at your phone during your breaks or lunch. It wasn’t like your feelings were hurt much for being ignored but more so the ache between your thighs was having a reaction. As you predicted trying to use your fingers or that sad vibrator in your bedside drawer was doing nothing to aid your release. 

You were out at the cafe around the corner from the office you worked at having lunch with one of your coworkers. She was going on about the night she had with the guy from the bar over the weekend. 

“Then he bent me over the couch! God it was so good,” she all but moaned. 

“Uh huh.” 

“I swear we were up until like 4 am going round after round,” she continued. 

“Right.”

“After that we sacrificed a goat on Saturn.”

“Oh wow,” you said looking down at the unlit rectangle next to your sandwich. 

“Y/n,” she said snapping her fingers in front of you. 

“What,” you said raising an eyebrow. 

“You’re being really shitty right now. I’m trying to tell you about how I literally got my back blown out and you’re staring at your phone like it’s gonna unlock the key to your future,” she said exasperatedly. 

Welp she wasn’t entirely wrong. 

“Abbie I’m sorry. I’m just waiting on a text. But please tell me more,” you said nodding for her to continue. 

“No, I wanna know fucked you stupid this weekend to make you act like a lovesick puppy,” she said putting her elbows on the table to rest her face in her palm. 

You internally debated telling her. I mean so far she has been the nicest and most welcoming to you, definitely bff material. But on the other hand you didn’t know if you were allowed to bring them up to other people. Technically it wasn’t a rule and what they didn’t know didn’t hurt them. 

You took in a deep breath before spilling your guts,” So basically after I noticed you guys were gone I accidentally walked into a sex club then later that night I fucked the owners and now we’re in a throuple type situation.” You ended with an awkward smile and waited for her reaction. 

“Oh the bdsm club? Isn’t it like the Library something?” she said casually. 

You sat there blinking for a while, “Out of everything I said thats the part that caught your attention.”

“So you had a threesome, very nice, we’ll get to that part. Tell me about the club.”

“Uh ok. We’ll it’s called the Underground Library and it’s what you’d imagine any bdsm lounge would be like. Red lights and sexy music playing in the back. There’s a bar and uh playrooms where you can watch others.”

She hummed taking in the information and sipping on her latte, “So the sex?”

“God it was so fucking good.” You both laughed and you spent the last few minutes of your lunch break telling her about what they did to you. Safe to say you knew your panties would be a mess by the end of the day just replaying those memories in your head. 

_

It was finally Thursday, you were so close to the work week ending and having a night with Abbie. The plan was for her to help you do a little shopping for your home then redecorate and spend the rest of the night sipping on wine with a pizza. Absolutely perfect. 

The day went by yet again without a notification from the people you wanted. At this point you came to the conclusion the incident was forgotten and left in the past. 

Friday you woke up around 10 and let yourself lay in bed, answering emails and lounging around until noon for you to get ready for your day with Abbie. After a while you got up to make a quick breakfast and make a list of items you planned on buying. 

You thought about getting a throw for the couch and some nice curtains. Maybe some wall decor. You were so excited to finally have a place to yourself and style it to your liking. 

Having roommates in college was fun but the solidarity of being able to walk around your own place basically naked and sing as loud as you wanted was liberating. 

Noon rolled around and you made your way to the bathroom to take a shower. The water pressure on your shoulders was breaking through to all the stress of the week and you instantly felt it melting away. 

You hopped out, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel and looking in your closet for what to wear. You settled for jeans and an oversized flannel, putting some comfy booties on your feet. You looked at your phone to see Abbie had texted and she would be on her way in 45 minutes. Using the remaining time you did your hair and makeup, just the basics for your day out. 

Your phone dinged with a simple text that read “here”, you grabbed your purse and the list on your kitchen counter and made your way to the elevator. 

You saw her little red car right in front of your building. The sound of music playing through the speakers could be heard from a few feet away. 

You pulled the door open and she greeted you with a big smile, “Hey! You ready to spend away that paycheck,” 

You laughed before answering, “You know it.”

The trip was made with nothing but laughs and a horrible mix of you guys singing to the radio. 

_

After a few hours and trips to multiple stores you guys stopped at one of the vendors in the mall to get some soft pretzels. Looking around you saw a fancy lingerie store and an idea popped into your head. 

You tapped Abbie on the shoulder to get her attention, “Hey I know you’re dead on your feet but theres one store I wanna go to. Do you wanna just grab a table? I’ll be like 20 minutes tops.”

“Yeah no prob Y/n/n,” she said holding her hand out for the bags you had in your hand, “this cinnamon twist is calling my name.” You both shared a giggle before you turned and skipped over to the store.

A woman wearing a dark purple sweater greeted you, “Hello darling, are you looking for anything in particular?”

“Nope I’m just taking a look around, thanks,’ you said with a smile. 

Walking around you saw a display of a matching set. It was baby pink and lacy and it left little to the imagination of the mannequin. Perfect. 

You looked over the table finding the set in your size and walking to the dressing rooms. Quickly you basically ripped your clothes off, speeding to get the fabric on your curves. It was stunning, complimenting your skin and hugging your curves. 

You pulled your phone out and hit the messaging icon. If they weren’t gonna text then you had to bite the bullet and put on your big girl panties to do it first. 

Typing in each of their contact names you made a groupchat and hit the camera option. You lifted your hand to get a flattering angle and gave the mirror your best pout. 

“Do you think it’s a good color?” Sent. 

One last glance in the mirror and you knew this was going home with you. Changing back into your clothes you slipped your phone in your pocket and made your way to the register. 

“Just this for you today honey,” the woman asked. 

“Yup,” you said pulling out your wallet. You heard the chime of a text and a smirk came across your face. Finishing the transaction you were excited to see what their reaction was. 

Walking back to Abbie you saw her on the phone and raised your brow in question. She started to get up and you took some of the bags from her hands. Once she was done with the call she put her phone in her purse and looked over to you. 

“Change of plans. Sam, the guy from the club, called and he’s coming over to mine tonight. So raincheck on the wine and pizza?”

You waved a hand dismissing what she said, “You’re all good, go catch that dick.” She laughed and pulled out her keys as you guys made your way out of the mall. 

In the car you pulled your phone out to check the message. It was from Cat. 

“I’m not sure. Maybe your little friend from the grocery store can help you pick.” 

So Spencer did tell her. 

You quickly replied, “You know green isn’t a good look on either of you.”

Another chime. “Why would I be envious? Last time I checked you came on my fingers, in my bed.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at her words. You tried to think of a response but this time Spencer responded. 

“Come to the lounge at 7. And wear that underneath your clothes.” 

“Yes Sir.” was all you said and the conversation ended. 

Looks like you and Abbie both had other plans for the night anyways. 

𝐚/𝐧; 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐢'𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐢𝐭. 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫!!

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #cat adams x reader #cat adams smut #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds smut #chellewrites

[bigbadconnivingbastard]

I'm drawing all of them ugh your designs are just amazing and ASTRID?? IS THAT HIS NAME?? THE GOAT BRO OMG IM DRAWING HIM WITH MY GOAT BOY TOO CUZ WHEN I SAY THEY LOOK LIKE TWINS RN THEY LOOK LIKE TWINS RN OK SORRY LMAO BYE

SOBS IN THANK YFOPU9AERODSHFKJLKDS;;;;;

YES DO IT I DARE YOU

also drags you back

[blondsauduun-reads]

Really Something

Pairing: Julie x Luke

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Flu? I think some light swearing? 

Plot: Request from @riverdalefan2019​ - The guys all went to college and Luke meets his roommate Julie instant attraction but neither want to mess up there room situation but one week it changes and Luke gets sick with the flu and Julie takes care of him, and while bed ridden truths are admitted about falling for each other and they get together please.

A/N: This was my first request ever so. Be nice. Also I hope I did well and did more or less what you had in mind!!!

Ah, first day of college. You can smell the nervousness and the panic of the freshmen, the exasperation and exhaustion of the sophomores and juniors, and the will to finally pass this year of the seniors.

Wasn’t like that for Julie Molina though. She was excited, full of life, willing to ace every single test and assignment.

She was strolling through campus, looking at the buildings, the people, listening to music. Looking everywhere but ahead and listening to nothing except Harry Styles on her earbuds.

“Hey! Watch out!” A brunet guy raised his voice, bringing her back to the real world, where she’d just thrown this guy’s stuff on the ground.

“Shi- I’m so sorry, wait, let me help,” she immediately dropped to the floor and helped the guy pick up his stuff, which was all cables and CDs. 

“I’m Julie. Hi.” Once everything was back in the box, she tried to introduce herself.

“Luke, a pleasure.” He smiled. 

A brief moment of epiphany where he realized Julie was absolutely stunning, and she realized Luke was breathtakingly cute.

“Luke!” Some other masculine voice broke him out of his trance. “C’mon, we have to get the room, now!” The guy, presumably Luke’s future roommate, had blond and very shiny hair, and was accompanied by a punk-looking black-haired guy too.

“See you around!” She said, also turning to where her dorm room was

.

Julie walked into the building, looking for room 195.

Entering the building, finding the correct floor, the right wing and making all the right turns in the hallways.

It was a lovely room, had two beds, two desks, two dressers, and a questionable rug on the floor.

“They really got you two a double room? And what about me, man?” Luke said from outside, kind of jumping around. “Who gon’ be my roomie?”

“Dude, calm down.” The blond guy from earlier said, grabbing his shoulders, so he stopped jumping around. “Me and Reg two doors down that way. Chill.”

“Yeah!” Reggie said, “And maybe, you even get that cute girl you were talking to earlier, huh?” he added, wiggling his brows.

“You mean me?” Julie said, popping her head out the door to the hall.

“Yeah!” He said. “I’m Reggie, this is Alex, and this,” Reggie shoved Luke inside the room. “Is your roomie.” He waved bye and dragged the blond along back to their dorm.

“Luke, right?” Julie asked, not that she’d ever forget his name, though.

“Yep, and you're Julie” He smiled, she smiled, they set ground rules, like not bringing boyfriends or girlfriends over and like not going through each others’ stuff, and they got to decorating and unpacking.

“Damn, the theater majors really are blasting Hamilton across the hall, geez.” Julie said, coming into the room she and Luke had been sharing for five weeks, with a plastic bag with their dinner in it inside. 

“Oh I know.” Luke spun around with his desk chair and stood up to greet Julie and help her set the table -which they bought one week after moving in, at a thrift shop for like, five bucks- “It’s been like that since you left.” He rolled his eyes, making her laugh. It was nice to know that he could make her laugh.

“I hate this rug, it’s like, stepping on sandpaper.” She mentioned the almost brown rug under their feet, which hadn’t been clean since the university bought it. That made him snicker and nod. “We should clean it.”

Christmas break was finally here. The roommates of dorm nº195 and dorm nº190 -Alex and Reg- were pretty tight knit by then, and all of them were staying at campus for the holiday, because Julie couldn’t afford going to Puerto Rico on Christmas, and the boys didn’t really like family time anyway, so they stayed with Julie.

For Christmas they had lunch at Julie and Luke’s dorm, because surprisingly it was the least messy of the two rooms, and because somehow, their kitchenette had a stove, which wasn’t actually allowed, but, whatever, it’s just soup. So, their Christmas lunch was soup and a rotisserie chicken.

Gifts were exchanged! Alex got some new fancy socks, a snapback with a goat and some new drumsticks because Reggie accidentally broke them two weeks ago, Reggie got some fierce new boots, an ugly christmas sweater which he actually loved and a goldfish from Petco, Luke got a collection of new notebooks -because he seemed to burn through an entire one in less than a month-, yet another flannel shirt, and some fuzzy socks -from Julie, because he always stole hers, despite the rule that said to not go through each others’ stuff, and always ended up stretching them out so that they didn’t fit her anymore-, and Julie received a denim jacket -which she had deemed her favorite since that day-, a couple of potted plants, and a big hoodie -which wasn’t actually big, it was Luke’s size, which apparently she loved, because she had stolen every single one of his hoodies without asking (he was out and the dorm didn’t have any heating, ok?), and always seemed to put them back in their place, until the day Luke saw her wearing one, almost fainted because of how cute she looked, and suddenly it made sense why his hoodies always smelt like her (not that he ever mentioned that, though)-. So yeah, they had a nice Christmas.

Today was December 27th and the two of them were cleaning the rug (outside and on the pavement, which had been lined with a piece of plastic), because today was the sunniest day they’d had all the month.)

“Hey!” Julie laughed when Luke splashed some of the water-soap solution on her.

“What?” He acted as if he was doing a completely normal, mature thing. “Looks like you need a thorough scrubbing too, Julie.” Oh boy.

“Uh? Excuse you sir, at least I wear sleeves.” She soaked up good her sponge in the soapy water, “Because, if you had actual tees, I wouldn’t be able-” No sleeves, and as usual, the arm hole on his shirt was so big it reached his lower ribs. “- to do this!” Shaboom. She threw the sponge into the sleeve hole, directly into his shirt.

“You just started a war, Molina!” He fished the wet sponge out of his clothes and threw it at her face.

Julie soaked the sponge up again and threw it at his face, somehow he lost balance and fell onto the semi-dirty wet rug. 

“A war that you have lost, Patterson.” She said, hovering over him, claiming her victory.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” He pulled on the arm that was supporting her over him, so now she lost balance, fell on the wet rug too, and somehow threw the whole bucket of water on them.

“Well, it’s soap and water, so we’re not technically dirty, right?” He chuckled.

“You’re really something Luke. Really something.” Well. In that particular moment, he was a wet music major with a tummy full of christmas food. But Julie meant that he was really something, to her.

But unfortunately, and in that case, really something also meant he was really prone to catching nasty colds.

“Luke, your fever is getting real high, real fast.” Julie said, looking at the thermometer which clearly indicated 104ºF and 40ºC.

“If I’d have known that all it takes is a fever for you to call me hot, I would’ve gotten sick earlier.” He answered, from under his blanket.

“Shit, he’s even worse than usual.” Alex said through Julie’s phone, which was on speaker and on the table.

“We’ll come by after class, bring him some antipyretics or something. Good luck!” He said, before hanging up.

“That’s it.” She said. “I’m going to the store.” She couldn’t stand Luke looking so sick and weak, she missed the healthy and boyish Luke. She was going to get soup ingredients at the store.

“Luke, you’ll-” She turned around to tell him he should rest, but found him sleeping already. “Rest, and get better.” She kissed his forehead, still feeling him burning up, and went on her way. Luke smiled in his sleep.

“Hey, Luke.” She shook his shoulder gently to wake him up. “You’ve slept the whole afternoon, I made dinner.” 

Luke woke up, kinda. He could smell spices.

“But it’s not done yet, and you need to take a shower.”

“What, why?” 

“Well, you’re sweaty and feverish, so a room temperature shower will do you good.” She said, going to grab something out of her drawer. “And use this with your body soap.”She handed him a fancy little bottle that spelled Alcoholado on the front in a very worn down paper stuck to it. 

“Okay.” He put up no resistance, just grabbing his Manly Man 2-in-1 Shampoo and Soap, his towel, some crocs for the shower (which everyone complained about, but whatever) a clean set of pjs, the bottle she had given him, stuffed it into his backpack, and went to the bathrooms.

Twenty minutes after, he was back, the table was almost set, two big bowls of something that looked like soup on the table, the trashcan full of plastic wrappers and veggie rests from the soup, the leftover ingredients tucked away in the only cabinet their kitchenette had, and a medium pot of soup on the stove, which wasn’t on anymore, but the soup on the inside still steamed a bit. And Julie in her christmas-gift-hoodie and some sweats.

“What was that thing you gave me?” Luke asked, looking at the bottle he held in his hand and throwing his bag on his bed.

“Alcoholado, my Abuela made it and gave me half a dozen bottles for college. It’s supposed to calm fevers and help with colds.” Julie said, putting the cutlery on the table and sitting down. 

“And this is chicken Asopao, my Abuela also made it for me when I was sick.”

“Julie, you really didn’t-”

“In first place, yeah I did, it’s my fault you’re sick; and in second, I care about you, Luke.”

Luke almost fucking fainted, but decided that sitting on the chair and eating the Asopao she’d made was way better.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” he said, cleaning up the table and everything with her. “ I feel a lot better.”

“I’m happy I did!” She said, somehow earning a nice hug from him.

After they broke apart the hug, they turned off the lights and went to sleep.

Julie was woken up at 4 am by Luke’s coughing, and went to check on him immediately.

She checked his temperature, which was somehow very cold, despite him being wrapped in a pair of blankets.

“I-I’m cold,” He muttered half asleep.

“Yeah, I can feel that.” She rushed to her bed again and pulled a thick duvet from under it, went back to Luke and laid it on him. “Better?”

“No.” He said, hesitantly. “Cuddle with me maybe?”

Julie thought about it. This would only make her heart flutter and turn her feelings towards him more intense, but he was sick because of her and she’d lose a bit of her dignity to make him feel better if that’s what it took.

“Scoot over.” She said softly, holding up the blankets so she could get under them.

Twenty seconds after, they were both cuddling very comfortably in his bed, Luke was beginning to warm up, when he made a comment;

“I know why I’m in love with you, Julie.” She opened her eyes in a heartbeat, but stood still, thinking about what to tell him, and if she should respond at all. 

“It’s because you’re caring and lovable and kind and just, overall amazing.” He said sleepily, before she could say anything.

“I love you too, Luke.” She kissed the crown of his head, Yes they were spooning and she was big spoon. “Sleep now, though. You need it.” 

They wiggled closer to one another, and finally fell asleep, under three blankets and had very sweet dreams.

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #luke x julie #juke #jatp juke #juke one shot #jatp one shot #julie jatp #jatp julie #luke jatp #jatp luke #julie and the phantoms one shot #julie x luke

[collxpsedhexrt]

Matchup tingsss 🥺👉👈

just a warning i type this in a shit post format bc im too scared to talk about myself in a grammatically correct manner because i hate myself

huge note: my type is BIG w big ol shoulders and big and tall and did i mention big so yeah cuddles ok thanks bye i also updated a photo of me- bc i suck at describing my appearance

👀

👄

ok so anyways lets a gO

NOTE: i dont label my sexuality sorry idc who to swing for ion like swinging i like hugging thanks ok bye also im EXTREMELY mentally and emotionally unstable haha ok thanx 🥺😳💅

꧁𝙰𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎꧂

I am 163cm and 190lb (I am also very peculiar about knowing my exact measurements, height, and weight all the time?? Confusion???)

I am one pasty ass bitch despite being (excuse the lele pons moment) LaTiNa👁👄👁,,, I have very long warm black hair that is either wavy or borderline kinky curls no in between,,,, I have amber eyes and have FrEcKlEs everywhere but not like super intense,,, i could probably put a photo (and i will at the end-) bc idk how to describe my ugly ass morbidly obese bleached walrus headass face tbh??

Not to be an annoying basic bitch but i supposedly have an hourglass figure but im more plump so ig i have a more motherly appearance- idk tbh my body dysmorphia says i look like patrick star on my 600lb life so lets get poggers in the chat, tea?? tea sis?? who’d knock me tf up im ugly doe ahaha 👁👄👁

꧁𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢꧂

hngh i never stop apologizing- even if u knock me down multiple times ill keep going back to you and forgiving you, and thats on daddy issues

im an empath and like a lot of spiritual stuff like tarot and stuff,,, wont get too into it bc im inexperienced

GIFTED.CHILD.BURNOUT.

also bc i like gaming i can be “one of the bros” and tbh i LOVE being a semi-stereotypical jock-like gamer boy like “oHH YEASAH *crushes soda can on my head* GAMING TIME BOOOYYYYSSS” and i kinda forget im a girl sometimes bc i (gross warning) can like,,, burp wit da bois 😳👉👈,,,,

I am an INFJ-T (the T means im a shitshow!) and ion wanna get too much into my uh,,, issues w/ eating,,,, but basically lets say it causes a lot of dizziness on my end but like im still obese so its ok lol

also im like,,,,, the runt of the group like literally nobody likes me (at least thats what i tell myself aHEM-)

and also i have eXTREEEEEEEME trust issues like holy fuck nobody can catch a break

Oh shit wait i should say idk what i am in terms of sexuality literally nothing fits me ahaha but i am an afab female lady girl as far as i know bc im not currently in a safe place to explore these things, Jimbo!

also im so sorry for being messy im spacing things out so it can be an organized mess im so so sorry i love you anf thank you for taking your time to read this i love you and appreciate you!!

I am a libra sun, and a pisces moon and rising so that means im a crybaby bitch but to the third power (^3)

oh shit yeah im also a hufflepuff

basically i like to make everyone laugh and im not good with serious shit but when it comes down to it sometimes i can take on a maternal role when comforting friends but u will never get me to admit it..... wait-

꧁𝙷𝚘𝚋𝚋𝚒𝚎𝚜꧂

ART ART AND MORE ART OH MY GOD FUCK OH GOD OH FUCK SO MUCH ART- im specifically into the character design and i actually plan on going into game development in coolegg

👁👄👁👉👈

i havent sang seriously in like,,,, years tho bc my choir teacher kicked me out the choir bc my brother was having a life saving surgery the day of a performance anD I NEVER FORGOT IT KAREN. meaning ion let shit go like that bc im an insecure and emotionally broken biTCH

ok i love games- from little big planet, outlast 1/2, detroit become human, beyond two souls, TO OVERWATCH YES I LOVE YOU OVERWATCH, and aminal crossigng uwu

ok so anyways i mean yeah uh,,, i also like writing poetry sometimes and writing but im like yuri (ddlc) and cant help but be borderline pretentious with using over complicated words despite my shit grammar here lol

but yeah

i also live on a farm and i love taking care of my chickens duckies turkies andn pheasants mvmvmbm,,,, i lvoe themn,,,,fhfjdjd,,, OMG I USED TO HAVE GOATS AND GUINEA HENS BUT FUCKINGNG CORONA VIRUS MADE IT HARD TO CARE FOR THEM SO WE HAD TO SELL THEM AND HMMMMMMM ANGERY

but on another note i hav doggies and uwu!!! they v cute best dogeis ever 100/10 recommend these dogies,,,,

꧁𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜꧂

im a hermit and quarantine is just fun to me

I have a high pitched voice so my friends deemed me the god of anime voice thank u

But honestly i find my voice creepy, it’s as if my voice is ghostly and haunting. That’s in real life, but say we called on discord.... I’m loud and obnoxious but i always make people laugh, only when im on a call like that does my personality change so much.

im an amazing host tbh,,, “Hey- I have tea, coffee, coffee with foam, water, milk, juice, soda, and i could make you some food!” “Do you want some popcorn? Are you sure? Do you need a blanket? Would you like for me to turn on the humidifier?” I WILL SPOIL PPL ROTTEN WITH LOVE AFFECTION FOOD AND DRINKS GALORE

“hhnngh,,, maybe if im good enough of a host it will fill the void,,,”

oh also i have a weird accent bc im puerto rican

👁👄👁✨

UPDATE: ADDED LIKES/DISLIKES!!! and love tings

꧁𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎꧂

my love language is physical touch mainly but i can channel it through making food n stuffs uwu

I rarely if ever fall in love. but when i do, i crash hard. I become putty in the person’s hands, willing to take (metaphorical) beating after beating and insults and cruelty just for their love to be reciprocated. I become totally helpless and obsessive, memorizing their schedule and things they like. Treasuring every memory of when we can be physically close to one another, platonically or not... I become my “best self” and my performance rate drastically increases, but my mental state drastically decreases. I become horribly depressed and anxious, always making meticulously calculated movements and always showing that im willing to support them with everything.

I particularly have a thing for tall guys with big shoulders.

꧁𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜/𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜꧂

OK THIS IS UNDERRATED BUT I LOOOVE PEWDIEPIE PLEASE DONT HATE ME I JUST LOVE HIS HUMOR ANDN,,,,, 🥺👉👈

god i just- idk i have mixed feelings abt amberlynn reid bc obviously shes super hurt n stuff but shes done so much crap i just HNNGNHH,,,, ANGERY,,, but i show support sometimes but i aint ever giving her my money by subscribing

I also like (cue the angry mob) fnaf-

homestuck and harry potter r also LIFE

i dont like when ppl are egotistical unless theyre charming,,,, bc if theyre charming i 100% feed their ego.

i HATE when people do self destructive things (IM A FUCKING HYPOCRITE) like “NO- nO dont fRICKIN do that- BAD. here, let me make you some food...”

anyways heres that promised picture if this ugly mug

[eerythingisshaka]

Play Though? Pt. 3

[Dad!M’Baku x Black!OC]

Word Count: 4.3K

Remi stands there with her mouth gaped wide open, praying that what she was seeing before her is an illusion, a mirage.

“Daddy!”  Xavier calls out happily running to hug his legs.  

Ron bends down with a fist out.  “Yeah, gimme some bud.”  

Xavier hauls a punch on Ron’s knuckles who feigns injury, shaking his hand.  He adjusts his durag, looking Remi up and down.  “I can’t get no love.”

Remi stutters trying to collect her thoughts.  “I’m wondering why you’re coming over here unannounced, Ron.  You’re supposed to call, what if I wasn’t home?”

He waved her off, walking inside, rubbing his stomach.  “You always home.  You don’t be doing nothin.  That’s why I always liked you, you a Queen.  No wayward ways with you.”

Remi closes her front door rolling her eyes as she heads to the kitchen.  “Well, I ain’t got all night to entertain you, what do you want?”

Ron sits on the couch with a plop as Xavier climbs up beside him, rolling his toy car along his dad’s arms and legs since he has plenty to work with.  Ron wasn’t a small guy, former college athlete but not good enough to go pro.  His caramel skin, unblemished tone is his pride and joy, and Xavier shares that trait.  

“Come on son, gimme some space to talk to your mama.  Remi, look, I didn’t think I needed a invite to see my kid.”

“Are you really here for him?  Cuz my plans involve him as well, which is another reason why you CALL before you come by!”

“I just wanted to check in with you...the shop is just about done with renovations so you oughta be able to get things going again finally.”

Remi nods.  “Ok sure.  Thanks for the update.  You know X has been acting out at his daycare.  They said he’s being aggressive.”

Ron sits up fake boxing at the back of Xaviers’ head.  “That ain’t no problem, he get that from his papa.  Mean he a fighter one day.  There’s money in that.”

Remi screws her face up.  “You don’t think it’s a problem?  Or that he should be told to chill out or ask what the fits are about?  Just let him fight huh?”

“He’s a boy Remi, damn!  I’m glad he got a little tough side in him since he live with you all the time.”

“That’s not my problem either.  My door is wide open for you to see him, take him somewhere or have him around for a few days.  That never changed.”

Ron gives a coy laugh looking at her everywhere but her face.  “You gettin dressed up for somebody?”

Remi looks down at her skin tight jean capris with a peach low cut blouse and wedge shoes, toes freshly done with a candy paint red.  “That’s none of your business either.  But you ought to leave so that I can have my evening I planned with my child.”

Ron rolls his head back letting out a groan.  “You weren’t the only one there to make him Remi, remember that?”  Ron gets up, giving Xavier’s braids a jostle.  

“Don’t be gross.”  Remi scowls, placing her hand on the doorknob.  

Ron walks up to her until he’s just a fleas distance from her body.  “I don’t remember you thinking it was.”

Remi opens the door to let him out.  “Call next time, we’re done here.  Xavier say bye to daddy.”

“Hi Sunny!”  Xavier exclaims heading towards the door as a little girl darts past her.

“Xavi!  I’m back!”  They hug each other’s little self so tightly, she almost warns them not to hurt each other.  

“Who’s this big nigga?”  Ron says squaring his shoulders to make himself appear more threatening.  It was like time stopped when she looked back at the door she still held open to look up and see M’Baku, still holding his hand up mid knock.

“Uh...hello Remi.  I brought the food…”  M’Baku holds up a bag of produce and items for the meal he was ready to prepare for them.  Remi’s heart melts at the sight.

“Ah, that’s real nice of you, I’ll take that fam.”  Ron grabs the bag and hauls it toward the kitchen.

“Ron!  Remi hissed at him.  “M’Baku I’m sorry, he was JUST LEAVING!”  She waves M’Baku inside.

“I didn’t come early did I?”  M’Baku asks softly.  

“No!  Not at all, you’re right on time.  Xavier’s dad just decided to crash unexpectedly but for real, he is gone.”

Ron comes back rubbing his hands together.  “So you got a name blood?”

M’Baku’s eyebrows fly up but he keeps his cool.  “M’Baku.”

Ron look him up and down.  “The hell you call me?  What African voodoo shit he talkin Remi, you got him round my son??”

“We just met Ron!  And that ain’t no concern of yours, I told you to go!”

Ron scoffs ignoring her.  “Look, Imma back back, let y’all have a little dinner or whatever.  But she has a father for her kid, that’s me.  She good, ya heard?”

Remi takes Ron by the arm and leads him outside past M’Baku who waits patiently watching from a distance.  

“Ron, you don’t get to come around here making demands, you left them privileges when you caught feelings for that white girl secretary at your dentist office!”

“It didn’t mean nothing!  What do you expect me to do when you freeze me out like that?”

“Try remembering your son’s birthday and showing up with a gift next time.  But trust you won’t expect nothing from me no damn more.”

“You got the government dipping in my pockets quicker than I can find something to so with it anyway.”

“That’s insurance to make sure you don’t gamble it all away.”

“You just keep that King Kong Bundy ass nigga from my son until I get approval.”

“Suck my ass, Ron!”  Remi exclaims before returning inside to lock the door and take a deep breath of relief.  When she centers her thoughts she sees M’Baku laid on the floor, directing a scene between Xavier’s Venom and Spiderman doll that he and Jolasun are hopping around the floor with a few other toys askew.  

“And Venom says…”

“Will you buy these wonderful roses?  Two blooms for a penny?”  Jolasun says in a sing song tone.

“What about some milk for my goat?”  Xavier asks.

M’Baku whispers.  “The goat makes milk, it does not drink it as an adult.  Try again.”

“Oh uh, what about milk FROM your goat?”  

M’Baku pats him on his back encouragingly.

“I’ll sell you the whole animal for your wagon sir.” Jolasun reaches over for his replica sports car.

“Hmm, that’s a hard deal…”  Xavier thinks carefully.

“You’re teaching economics to my child?”  Remi asks, parking herself behind M’Baku’s back to peer at the scene over his shoulder.  

“We are playing Market.  Mr. Venom and Mr. Spiderman-”

“Mrs., Baba!  Mrs. Spiderman!”

“Of course, love.  Mrs. Spiderman, are trying to work out deals among each other until presumably they have bartered all of their belongings completely.”

“Mama, I can get you a-a-a horse if you want.  You want a horse mama?”  Xavier asks her.

“I think she would look good with one.  What do you think?”  M’Baku looks back at Remi behind him and she feels herself going giddy.

“Why I would love a horse.  Thank you son!”

“Hang on!  I haven’t sold it yet!”  Jolasun exclaims.  “If I can have your rocketship, you can have my horse.”

“Nuh-uh!  You can have my, uh, whistle?”  He picks up an orange whistle he got from one of the dine and play places, blowing it loudly.

Remi covers her ears.  “X  I told you not to blow that in the house!  You guys keep trying to trade that horse, we have some cooking to do.”  Remi pats M’Baku’s arm and instantly regrets it.  The strength underneath tshirt sleeve taunted her, tempted her.  She got up as quickly as she could to make her way to the bag of food M’Baku brought and begins to unpack.

“Uh uh, that is what I am supposed to do.”  M’Baku insists, unacking kale and beets and beans.

Remi looks at him unbelievably.  “But you’re a guest in my house, I should help you with something.”

M’Baku stops, tapping his head with a yam in thought.  “You could actually help with something.  Do you have a bottle of wine, eh?  I forgot mine.”

Remi hops to the fridge excitedly.  “I sure do!  I don’t have any cooking wine though…”

M’Baku grunts.  “First lesson in cooking: don’t use cooking wine to cook with!  The intent is there, but the flavor isn’t,”

Remi nows, peeling the foil wrapper off of the lip.  “I see, noted.”  

M’Baku begins to chop up the kale as you screw the bottle opener into the cork.

“So, did you have a good day today?”  Remi asks nervously.

M’Baku shrugs as he oils a pan on the stove.  “Same old, same old as you say.  Jolasun had a recital at her little school before coming here.  She did a good job.”

Remi’s face lights up in the midst of her struggling to open the bottle.   “Oh that’s great!  Is it like ballet or something?”

“Contemporary.  She loves to dance, and she is very confident about it.  Almost to a fault, but she gets it from her father.”  M’Baku looks back at her smiling.  “Do you need help with that?”

Remi’s veins are damn near popping out of her neck as gives it one more pull before taking a break.  “Dammit, I thought I got a twist top in the first place.”  

Remi sets the bottle down with a plop on the counter as M’Baku meanders around the island to her side, picking up the bottle with the opener still stabbed in the top.  He grips the neck tightly, knuckles show signs of wear but they look beautiful along his skin.  Remi watches carefully as his takes his other hand firmly over the opener itself.  

“I think I got it in too deep.”  Remi says softly before flinching at the pop of air being released from the bottle finally being given the chance to breathe thanks to M’Baku.  Remi clutches at her neck feeling herself breathe as well.

M’Baku sets the bottle back down in front of her.  “It’s never too deep.  You have to be mindful of the technique when pulling out.  Don’t force it, just ease.”

“Mhm!”  Is all Remi could muster as she rests her head on her hand, fighting the open innuendo.   He walked back over to the stove to finish stirring, adding broth.  “A wise man is a rich man, I say.”

M’Baku chuckles, wiping his hands on a towel.  “Then I pray to be a trillionaire with knowledge.”  

Remi gets up with her bottle of wine checking out the cooking situation.  “Ok, tell me when to pour.”

M’Baku wags a finger.  “Not so fast.  I have to know how good your wine is, if it works with the flavors I am trying to execute here.”  

Remi huffs.  “Gosh, so nitpicky.  Aight, let me pour a couple glasses.”  Remi gets one glass poured when Xavier runs into her legs.  

“Mama, mama!  I didn’t get you a horse, cuz Sunny says she needs it to go to the store.”

Remi nods looking over at a proud and chubby faced smiling Jolasun, flying a toy pony in the air.  

“But-but-but she let me have some magic beans and a duck with give money eggs.  That’s cool, huh mama?!”  Xavier holds up the ‘duck’, which is really a Toucan Sam from the cereal box, and ‘beans’ AKA legos.  

“Oh wow!  She did a Jack and the Beanstalk on you!  Have you heard that story yet?”  M’Baku asks jovially as he cuts up some bread.

Xavier shakes his head, braids flying wild against his face.  

M’Baku makes a shocked face before looking at Remi with a sort of playful scowl.  Remi just swirls her wine in her glass, looking around like he was checking for someone else grown and in the house.

Remi shrugs.  “Don’t look at me!  He is into reading chapter books, and if I tried to pull him away from the library he  wouldn’t speak to me for a week.  He’s past Dr. Suess and fairytales by now!”

M’Baku chuckles heartily as he kneels in front of Xavier.  “It’s a story about how some ordinary things can be quite extraordinary.  A poor boy from the country trades his last good livestock for a duck and beans instead of money or food.  Everyone called him a fool but before he knew it, the items he got turned out to be the very things the trader said they were, and he was a rich man for the rest of his life.  You have a good heart Xavier, and if you continue to see the good and potential in others, you could create some awesome magic yourself.”

Remi wasn’t sure if the wine was beginning to hit but her heart felt like it was ready to jump out her chest and slide down the waterfall cascading from between her.  She shouldn’t be this easy but a man tending to a child is her kryptonite and frankly she hasn’t seen it enough to be numb to it.  The last hour he’s been there, he has shown more affection than his own father showed.  

“Mr…..uh…”

“Just call me Baku.”  He says.

“Backoo, are you married?”  

Remi chokes on her sip of wine, threatening her light carpet with dribble.

M’Baku’s eyes widen.  “Why do you ask, Xavier?”

“You can call me X.  Mama does, she’s not married though.”  Xavier says unwarranted.

Remi joins in to keep things from growing more awkward.  “Hey, X!  You should show Jolasun that new toy Grandma got you for your certificate at daycare?  The light up one?”

Xavier’s face lights up as he runs back to Jolasun, demonstratively leading her to his room to retrieve the toy.

Remi leans on the counter watching them run by.  “Oh, to be that young and innocent again.  They are so cute, I could never make friends like X does though.”

M’Baku starts sizzling some asparagus.  “No?”

Remi takes her glass up with longing.  “I was too awkward.  Like X, I hit the books hard and I never wanted to leave the world of fantasy to face a real one.  My mom thought it led me to be more immature and a crybaby.”

M’Baku looks over to Remi.  “Or...it made you more emotionally developed and full of heart.  Too many people think that their worth is in the friends that they have but you can make one or two great connections instead of a hundred shallow ones, you’re really doing something great.”

Remi couldn’t help but smile sadly at that.  Wine made her emotions elevated and what he said hit a strong nerve.  “That’s really profound, Baku.  I appreciate that.  Sometimes I worry my time has been wasted on things because of pressure and just shit that comes up that you least expect and I kick myself about it but...I do have those handful of folks that keep me here for a reason, most recently my son and I wouldn’t trade my journey for him any day.”

M’Baku puts a pan of toasted bread off to one side, holding the countertop with a wide grip and he leans his weight into his sinewy forearms.  “Couldn’t have said it better myself.  I don’t take lightly you having Jolasun and myself over for dinner.  I just hope it isn’t the last.”

Remi thinks to how the evening began with herself anticipating this moment to Ron coming by and completely taking the fun out of the air before it began.  If M’Baku hadn’t been on the other side of that door, she surely would’ve texted to cancel but fate should have it that this strapping, big hearted man in front of her would woo her into a lovely evening of basically babysitting and gossiping in the kitchen.

Remi steps around to  the same side M’Baku is standing at, tracing the hardened caulk between the countertiles.  “I wanted to ask just so it’s clear to me, uh...Are you over here...as a friend?  Because, you know, that’s great, cuz the kids love hanging out and I am cool to play date and yada yada and like I said it’s not like I get out that often anyway: it’s usually work then daycare then home and-”

M’Baku looks on at her in ae as Remi continues to run on sentence speak for an extended period of time, giving no room for him to answer the proposed question.  Then before he could say anything, something pops out of the corner of his eyes.

“Pew! Pew! Pew!  ALIENS ATTACK!”

M’Baku and Remi look over to see their children holding two stuffed animals a piece as weapons.

Remi puts a hand up in protest.  “Wait, we aren’t aliens, I am our mother!”

“And I am your father!”  M’Baku say with an authoritarian tone, before whispering to Remi.  “...this has turned into a Star Wars style thing though, yeah?”

Remi chuckles as Jolasun makes the announcement.  “No, WE are the aliens!”

“Take cover, aliens!”  Xavier shrieks as he and Jolasun barrel roll in front of the couch for shelter.

“When we pop up, have your weapons ready!”  Jolasun instructs.

“What?  What do we do?”  Remi asks, surprising herself that she actually feels somewhat nervous.

M’Baku reaches into one of his grocery sacks and picks up a squash.  “Take this!”  Remi clutches the vegetable to her chest and M’Baku finds a potato.

“That’s all you have left?”  She whispers.

M’Baku looks at her incredulously.  “You’re critiquing my firepower lady?”

“3! 2! 1!”  The children count before popping up and jutting their plushies forward with every imaginary blast.  

POW! BANG!  KAZOWY!  It was a complete a total wreckage of imaginary limbs flying, air support dropping ammunition overhead and reinforcements circling in.

Remi dives behind the counter.  “We are outgunned and outnumbered.  They’ll get us for sure.”

M’Baku taps his forehead with the potato before lighting up with an idea.  “Jola!”

“Yes, Baba?”  Jolasun says casually like they aren’t even at war.

“You know if I am a human and you are an alien, because I am your father, you too are half human?”

A small gasp comes from the other side of the room.

“That means me too?”  Xavier whispers.  

Remi smiles a M’Baku thankfully.  “That’s right, you are fighting your own kind!”

“No!”  Xavier screams.

“You never told me you were half human!”  Jolasun says with venom in her lungs.  What a turn of events.

“I-I….YOU never told ME!”  Xavier rebuts, turning his plushies on Jolasun.

“FIRE!”  They shout, as pew pews hurl at one another.

M’Baku breaths a sigh of relief.  “Thank Hanuman, that was-”  Looking over at Remi all he sees are her shoulder shaking as her hands cover her face.  “Remi, what is wrong?  I didn’t think you would be this into it.”

He takes her hands away and see her face screwed up into an ugly, debilitating laugh.  “I’m sorry, haha!  This was just, WOW!  I haven’t heard this good of a plot to anything in a while.  They turned on each other!”  She guffaws as she clutches her stomach, out of control of her laughter.  M’Baku can’t help but to join in, looking at her as her laughter became contagious.  Snorts and woots are shared between them as their children’s imaginations murder each other.  Before they knew it, the laughter ceased and settle into one another as they realize their hands are still gripping one another’s.  Couple that with some knee to knee touching as they remain sitting on the floor behind the counter, and Remi begins to wonder if the stove is still on.

M’Baku looks at Remi directly, with little space between them, she couldn’t help but feel like she is under a microscope.  

“You have a gorgeous smile...and your laugh…”

Remi snorts again involuntarily.  “I know, it’s a lot.”

“...a joy.  To hear it?  Makes me feel like I did something many wish they could do but never stood a chance.”  His grip becomes more assured.  “And I want to do that again.”

Remi won’t lt her mind stray from the feelings developing between them, though she couldn’t stand them.  Her heart was about to burst out of her throat from all the anticipation!  And luckily she had on granny panties, or her cute ones woulda been soaked through, she was not ready for this.

No way is a friend speaking to her this way, he actually does want her!  But is it too soon?  She did say this wasn’t supposed to be a date, but is a kiss before a date no making this one?  And what about-

M’Baku made her mind hush as needed, soon as his lips touched hers.  It wasn’t rushed, there was no crash, which means they had been inching toward one another without her even realizing.  Damn these pheromones!   Their lips rested into one another, like a long distance love affair finally being consummated at first glance in person.  Her stresses melted away like the butter he cooked with as she parted her mouth slow to allow his tongue to come in…

“Mama?  Where did you go?”  Xavier

“You took her out, remember?  But Baba is so strong I can never get him.  One day…”

The parental ear is still keen even in a primal moment as they part from one another to heed the call.  Popping up from behind the counter, Remi announces,  “Who’s ready to eat?”

“Meee!”  The children sing as they come to sit down at the table.

“Meee too…”  M’Baku says with a frog in his throat, coughing a little.  Remi tries to catch his eye as the gather the assortment of food, but he uses his height to just overlook her, slight sheen to his brow as they set out to have dinner.

---

“Thank you for cooking!”  Xavier says, holding his mother’s hand while twisting his little body around.

“No problem!  I’ll have to make you something more, you cleaned your plate well!”  M’Baku says giving him a high five.  Xavier nods proudly.  

Remi smiles, giving her son a squeeze.  “I haven’t seen him eat that many fresh vegetables since they were mashed and in a jar.  Hey X, go ahead and clean up your toys so we can get ready for bed.”  Xavier flies over to complete the task

“Jola, go ahead and help.”  M’Baku instructs his daughter.

As the kids clean, M’Baku and Remi look at one another, and then away nervously.  

“Well, thank you for dinner.”  Remi says to the floor.

M’Baku puts his hands in his pockets, bending down a little to get in her line of vision.  “No, it was teamwork.”

“Please all I did was provide the kitchen.”  

“...which is all I needed.  You ever tried to cook without a kitchen?  It’s not very easy today.”  M’Baku shakes his head like a curmudgeonly old man.

Remi smiles.  “Kids don’t know how good they have it!”  

M’Baku smiles.  “There it is.”

“What?”  Remi says with confusion.

M’Baku steps toward her, making his posture smaller even though it was impossible.  “Your smile.”

“Oh…”Remi moans with embarrassment.

“It’s good, I can understand if you don’t show it more.  Someone might steal it.”  M’Baku says in a low tone, looking at her again like he did behind the counter.

Remi’s breathing deepened again as that feeling came over her.  If she didn’t know any better, some might believe it to be signs of a heart attack, but no.  Lust just hit her that hard.

“Thanks for the warning.  Maybe-”

“Baba!  I’m done!”  Jolasun says, running up to his side as he picks her up.

“Ok!  Let’s go!  Say bye to X!”

They all say goodbye as they walk out the door, Remi closes it with a forlorn sigh.  Remi puts a chatty Xavier to bed as he recounts the fun times him and Sunny had together.  When he finally drifts off, Remi admires her boy, playing his he braids gently as he snores.  Her mind goes in so many directions as her baby sleeps peacefully:  Ron and their relationship, her job at the shop and eventually opening her own.  Remi rubs her temples at the thought of all she has to consider and what she wishes she could just give up on.  But life doesn’t work that way,  As she went to her room, she thought of M’Baku and how he spoke with her, making her feel like a damn queen when she felt like anything but.  His strong hands and the way they worked around the kitchen, around her hands, and the potential of them working in tandem with the kiss from before.  

Remi lays back in bed alone and wondering if she could rekindle that feeling again.  M’Baku told her that her smile was all he wanted, but she never said what feeling he gave her that she couldn’t get rid of if she tried.  It’s so silly these crushes people get when they aren’t based on anything but hormones and luck.  And Remi has a streak of not being that lucky.  

She reaches for her phone off the charger and opens it to a notification message.  The name she saved it under made her think she was getting hacked but she forgot Babe the Blue Ox was the moniker she bestowed upon him.

She reads the message once, twice, thrice, and couple more times for good measure before she lies back, stretching her limbs with satisfaction and a smile.  It was happening.

Thinking of that smile of yours and hope it’s what you have on before you go to bed.  Let’s plan to see it again soon.  Adults only?

Masterlist

Ragtag

@yaachtynoboat711 @chaneajoyyy @bidibidibombaclaat@sarcastic-sunshines @great-neckpectations @wakanda-inspired @klaine15689  @foulmouthedandfanfic @nickidub718 @supersizemeplz @yofavcocoa @ashanti-notthesinger

#shakafic #play though #m'baku fic

[upthenorthmountain]

Only Love - Together

Happy birthday @karis-the-fangirl! For you, I have managed to finish this. I hope you have a wonderful day :D

Previous Chapters: Part 1, Part 2

This story and the larger upthenorthmountain modern AU Kristannaverse have no affiliation with the real-life town of Arundel and any similarities with the town, its people and its actual summer festival are purely coincidental.

Together

But as Anna lay on the sofa disconsolately that Sunday evening, her phone beeped. It was Jessica.

oh btw i gave kris your number hope thats ok

Anna scowled at her phone. Rude! I mean, if she wanted Kristoff to have her number, she would give it to him herself. Gladly. Or up until last night she would have. Ugh, now he would ring and be really nice and explain how he really liked her as a friend, and he was happy to forget everything that had happened, and he hoped he’d see her soon, but in a friend way. And she’d be forced to see him and pretend everything was cool while secretly dying inside. So she wouldn’t be able to go to Sven and Jessica’s ever again and she’d have to make all new friends and everything would be stupid and terrible and all because she couldn’t control herself and gave into every immediate instinct like a TODDLER or a, a GOAT.

The phone rang. An unknown mobile number. Anna jumped and dropped it on the floor.

It lay there, on its back, ringing. Oh god. Oh god oh god. Just answer it, woman, it’s probably a PPI spam call.

“Hello?”

“Ah, hi, Anna?”

It was him, oh god. Oh no oh no oh no. “Hi, Kris? I mean I guess this is Kris, Jessica just texted and said she gave you my number, which is fine, I just - um. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Ah. I - Anna, I wanted to apologise for last night. The last thing I wanted to do was upset you -”

“It’s - it’s okay! I should be apologising, and I am, I’m apologising. I’m the one who made everything awkward, I’d really like to just forget it. Pretend it never happened. I was drunk, I’m sorry.”

“Pretend it never happened?”

“Please. We’re friends, it’s cool.”

There was a pause. Then Kristoff said, “Well, this is awkward.”

“I guess…”

“No, I mean….” he cleared his throat. “Because the other reason I phoned you was to ask you out.”

“....what?”

“It has been explained to me,” he said, “At great length, over the course of this afternoon, that I am an idiot, and if I like you and you like me then we should spend some time just the two of us, to - explore that further. And that sounded about right to me, once Sven had finished his harangue, so I was wondering if you wanted to go to the festival thing in the park with me next weekend. There’s live bands and food stalls and things. I mean, if you want to. If I’m not being even more of an idiot.”

“....Sven spent a whole afternoon calling you an idiot and telling you to ask me out?”

“Except for when Jessica was doing it, yeah. You should probably know that they’re pretty invested in this. You haven’t actually answered.”

“No. I mean, no I haven’t, but yes. Yes, please.”

“Okay!” She could hear the relief in his voice. “That’s - awesome. Cool. Okay, I’ll check the times and call you later in the week, okay?”

“Okay, great. Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay. Bye, then. Anna.”

“Bye,” she almost whispered, and the line went dead as he ended the call.

Anna sat for a moment, her phone in her hands. Then she shook herself, and saved his number carefully to her contacts, and went to text Jessica and tell her - but no. Not straight away. She would let herself sit here for a moment, for one perfect moment, enjoying this feeling. Before she undoubtedly did something to muck it up again.

----

Her phone rang again about twenty minutes later.

“Soooo? Did he ask you out?”

“Jess!”

“Well, did he?”

“As if you don’t know.”

Jessica laughed. “I was just worried he’d bottle it. Sven practically had to threaten him.”

“That makes me feel great, thanks.”

“Oh, no, he wanted to! He was just all, what if she doesn’t want to talk to me, what if she says no, won’t it make everything awkward, and I was like, I got the impression everything was already awkward? But anyway. He did, so. He’s a good boy really.”

“Mm.”

“So, what are you going to wear?”

“I don’t know! He like literally JUST called. Oh no, I have to decide what do wear….what if I do something stupid. Like say something stupid. Or, or I spill my drink all over myself, or something, and he changes his mind about me, and -”

“What do you mean? Don’t be ridiculous. Anyway. He’s definitely seen you spill a drink on yourself before.”

“...um. Maybe?”

“Yes, you remember, it was only a couple of weeks ago and he was definitely there - and that time at the barbecue, when you took a bite of your burger and got ketchup all down your front - and at the mini golf, when you tripped over your club and fell over and skinned your knees, and we were all trying to give you tissues and things and you were insisting you were fine with blood running all down onto your socks -”

“WHY are we doing this?”

“I’m just saying - he’s seen all these things and he still asked you out. So I’m not sure what you could do to put him off, unless you were planning on being, like, WILDLY racist or something - oh, Anna, do you remember when someone made you laugh when you were eating Doritos and you choked and some went up your nose and then you blew your nose and it was all orange -”

“I’m a disaster human, I know, everyone apparently knows, please stop now.”

“Sorry. I’m stopping. But, isn’t it nice to go out with someone who already knows you this well? And wants to be with you anyway?”

“Rude.” But she had to admit, it was nice.

----

He felt - not broken, exactly, but - raw. Bruised. After Maria, part of him wanted to crawl away into a corner and lick his wounds, wait for everything to heal, wait to feel normal again, whatever normal felt like.

But.

If he waited, he’d miss her, he was certain of that. She was so - everything she was, and someone else would see it, soon enough. Sven had gone on at length about striking while the iron was hot and Kristoff knew he was right even as he wished for a little more time.

-----

The annual Arundel Summer Festival was in the park. Anna met Kristoff at the gates at four, or close enough to four, after she’d tried on every outfit she owned, and put her hair up and taken it down and put it half-up; and her sandals were super-pretty but also they rubbed if, for example, you had to run halfway across town because you were nearly late for a date you were super-excited about. But she was here now.

He was wearing a shirt, was the first thing she noticed. Not a t-shirt, a shirt with buttons, and jeans that looked suspiciously new. He’d brushed his hair, and he had a picnic blanket rolled up under his arm.

“I thought we could go listen to the music for a bit,” he said, “Then maybe get something to eat, there’s a lot of stalls - and there’s bands into the evening, I think, but we don’t have to stay the whole time, it’s up to you -”

“That sounds good! Great.”

“Great.” They beamed at each other.

Anna had been so worried it would be awkward, or she would make it awkward again somehow, but after the first little while everything was great. They sat on the picnic blanket - while on the stage a school band played a medley of musical theatre tunes that was actually pretty good - and talked. Then they walked round the food stalls and couldn’t decide what to eat so took a few things back to their blanket to share, and if Anna did nearly choke on a piece of naan because Kristoff made her laugh at the wrong moment then that was the kind of thing that could happen to anyone. A couple of times Anna got inquisitive texts but she ignored them. Jessica could wait.

Kristoff came back from putting the remains of their meal in the bin and sat down on the blanket next to her, leaning back on his hands. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this relaxed on a date before,” he said, then hesitated as if afraid he’d given too much away.

“Me neither. Must be the music,” Anna said, nodding towards the stage where some men with guitars were doing a sound check. Kristoff laughed.

He was so close. He was leaning right towards her, and his smile was slowly fading to be replaced with a look of almost wonder, almost - she didn’t know what; his eyes went to her lips then back up, and her heartbeat was almost drowning out the words kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me chanting in her head.

He bent his head down, leaning in, and the anticipation was delicious but also she was going to scream with the effort of not leaping forward and pinning him down. She closed her eyes instead, feeling his breath on her lips before, finally, gently, slowly, he kissed her.

Now she let herself push forward. Now she ran her hand over his shoulder and to the back of his neck, as he kissed her again, more assuredly this time.

He was so close, and he smelt so nice, and Anna longed to pull him down onto the blanket next to her - on top of her - and...

...and get thrown out of the Arundel Summer Festival for indecent, non-family-friendly behaviour, that was what. Anna couldn’t help it, she started giggling, and Kristoff pulled away. “What?” he said, smiling.

“Nothing,” Anna said. “Just happy, that’s all. The kiss was nice,” she added. “You can do that again if you want.”

So he did.

#only love #kristanna #fanfic #fanfiction

[krat395]

Tickle, Tickle, Darling Spider (Chapter 1)

Who’s got 6 thumbs and hasn’t been on the receiving end of tickles in one of my stories yet? …MUFFET!!! That’s who!!! :D But before that happens though, she needs to inform Asriel of some rather interesting plans she has in store for him and both of his sisters they next time all three of them visit her bakery/house. ;)

Undertale(c) Toby Fox. 

************************************************

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

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TICKLE, TICKLE, DARLING SPIDER 

Chapter 1: Please Don’t Tickle the Goat, Little Dearies!!! :O

 It is a Thursday afternoon during the after-school hours in the cafeteria of Toriel’s elementary school and Muffet and her spiders have just finished unloading dozens of boxes full of assorted pastries, cupcakes, donuts, scones, muffins, cookies, as well as other baked goods with help from all three of the Dreemurr kids (Frisk, Chara, and Asriel). During the final day of the penultimate week of each school semester, Toriel and the rest of the faculty and staff reward their students for all their hard work by serving them baked goods from Muffet’s bakery, which is what they will be doing tomorrow before throwing all of them a big last day of school party in 8 days as a reward for all of their hard work during the school year. And if there are any leftover sweets after tomorrow, they will be served at this party along with other foods. :) Muffet always feels honored that Toriel chooses her baked goods over those from other bakeries and the Dreemurr kids offered to help Muffet unload all of the boxes of assorted foods into the school cafeteria as another way of paying for all 8 of the free boxes of sweets Asriel received from her back in April for supposedly volunteering to help her clean every nook and cranny of her house. Back in April, Asriel received 8 boxes of free baked goods for letting Muffet and her spiders tickle him to a bunch of adorable little pieces for nearly 50 minutes. But she didn’t exactly want Frisk, Chara, Asgore, and especially not Toriel to know that! So, in order to keep the long tickle session a secret, Muffet lied to all four of them by telling them that Asriel offered to help her clean her house and do all the heavy lifting that she couldn’t see herself doing in a million years. Frisk, Chara, Asgore, and Toriel all believed Muffet’s lie and the tickle session last April is a secret that both she and Asriel have been keeping to this very day. (By the way, if Muffet’s house actually needed to be cleaned at the time, Asriel would’ve gladly volunteered to help Muffet. Because he’s nice like that! :))

 Muffet: Alright, you three, that’s a wrap! Thank you all so much for helping my little dearies and I carry everything into this cafeteria.

 Asriel: It’s no problem at all, Muffet. We’re glad to help you ANYTIME!

 Frisk: Yeah, especially when the reward for all of it that we get to eat some of your ABSOLUTELY DEEEELICIOUS sweets tomorrow! (The blueberry pastries are my favorite! Mmmm!)

 Chara: Haha! You got that right, sis!

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ You dearies are too kind.

 Frisk: (Mmmmmmmm, blueberry pastry. Mmmmmmmmmmm.) *thought Frisk to herself as she stood idly in a zombie-like stance*

Asriel: Say, you alright there, Frisk?

 Frisk: ………

 Asriel: Frisk?! *shouted Asriel worriedly*

 Frisk: Oh, um, Yes and no, Azzy. *replied Frisk as she frantically snapped back to reality* Sorry, I just want a pastry so badly my mouth’s watering just thinking about it! Oh god, I don’t even know if I’m gonna last until tomorrow! *shouted Frisk worriedly*

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ Well in that case, here, Frisk. On the house for taking time to help my little dearies and I. *said Muffet as she handed Frisk a box of 6 assorted pastries*

 As a reward for helping Muffet and her spiders unload the boxes of sweets into the school cafeteria, Muffet decided to give Frisk, Chara, and Asriel a free of box of 6 assorted pastries. (Inside the box contains 2 blueberry pastries for Frisk, 2 strawberry pastries for Chara, and 2 red raspberry pastries for Asriel. :))

 Frisk: *excited gasp* Thanks, Muffet! That’s so nice of you!

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ You’re very welcome, deary.  

 Asriel: (Now hold on just a minute here, Muffet! The entire reason my sisters and I helped you today was to pay for free boxes of sweets, not get more of them! Oh, but Frisk looks SO happy though. So, never mind. I won’t say anything then.)

 Frisk: *opens the box of pastries* Yes! There’s two blueberry ones in here! My favorite! …Dibs!

 Chara: Hahahahaha! Of course you would call dibs on those ones, sis! Hahahahaha!

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~

 Frisk: …I am so eating these when I get home! Man, thanks again, Muffet! You’re such a saint! And we’ll see you later, ok? We’ve got a math test tomorrow and we’d like to meet with our friend, Perry, yet tonight for one last study session.

 Chara: Yeah, bye, Muffet! Great seeing you again!

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ Bye, bye, dearies! ...Oh! Um, wait, cutie, would you mind staying here for a little while? I’d like to speak with you briefly… alone. *asked Muffet in a somewhat shy manner*

 Chara: Ooh, she’s talking to you, Azzy. *said Chara with a smile as she nudged Asriel a few times*

 Asriel: Heeheeheehee! Yeah, I know. She always calls me that. Heeheeheeheehee! *giggled Asriel while blushing*

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~

Moments later, Frisk and Chara left the cafeteria to give Muffet and Asriel some privacy. What Muffet wants to talk to Asriel about, they have no idea. But rather than trying to eavesdrop on their conversation, the two 12-year-old girls decided to respect their privacy by going to their mother’s office to wait until they were finished.

 Muffet: So, cutie? Would you like to come over to my house again some time? My little dearies are just itching to tickle you again.

 Asriel: Haha! Of course, Muffet! I’d be happy to let them tickle me a third time!

 At some point after the lengthy tickle session he had back in April and before today, and as even more additional payment for the 8 boxes of free baked goods, Asriel went to Muffet’s house a second time and let Muffet’s spiders crawl all over every insanely ticklish inch of his feet and only his feet for at least 20 minutes. And for safety reasons, and due to how ticklish Asriel is, Muffet restrained Asriel’s legs, feet, and toes in order to prevent him from unintentionally sending her spiders flying off of him by kicking his legs, shaking her spiders off of him by wiggling his feet back and forth, brushing her spiders off of him by rubbing his feet together, or crushing her spiders by wiggling his toes if they happened to crawl in the spaces in between his toes, which they did in order to get the best laughs possible out of him. Asriel was an absolutely precious bundle of ticklish joy that afternoon and his reward for letting Muffet’s spiders tickle him a second time wasn’t money, discount coupons, or more free boxes of baked goods. Instead, it was roughly 20 minutes of loving affection (and a few brief tickles every now and then) from Muffet herself. (SHE PET HIM! :D)

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ I knew you would be! Except next time, I’d like you to bring your sisters. *said Muffet with a slightly evil smile* Because I think it’s about time they find out exactly how you paid for all those boxes of sweets back in April.

 Asriel: Hahaha! Oh my god, yes! Muffet, you clever girl! I love that idea so much! *replied Asriel all excitedly*

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ Why thank you, cutie! *replied Muffet as she looked around to make sure no one was watching both her and Asriel* I mean, it’s possible they’re going to find out how you paid for those sweets eventually. So why not let them find out the fun way by having my precious little dearies and I tickle them… along with you, you adorable furry, puffy, and fluffy little creature you! *teased Muffet as she pulled Asriel towards her and wrapped him into a brief but super devilish 6-armed tickle hug* Ahuhuhu~

 Asriel: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEY, AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, MUHUHUHUHUHUHHUHUHUHUHUFFET!!!!! *SNORT* NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *SNORT* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *SNORT* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA~!!!!! *Asriel laughed loudly and preciously for at least fifteen seconds*

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ Awwwwww! You are so precious, cutie! *said Muffet as she stopped tickling Asriel and lifted his shirt all the way up with her two lower hands* But before I let you go, I have to ask. …Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy? *asked Muffet teasingly as she started petting Asriel*

 Muffet may not know it but Frisk asks Asriel that same exact question twice in a row every time she pets him too. :) And after being asked that question, the young prince always responds back in a super relaxed state saying,

 Asriel: Heeheeheeheehee!! Me. I’m a good boy. Heeheeheeheehee!! *moan of happiness*

 In addition to tickling Asriel, Muffet felt it was necessary to pet him as well. And that happens to be something she did during Asriel’s last two visits. And during both of those occasions, she pet him for 20 nonstop minutes. :) Like Frisk and Chara, Muffet just can’t resist touching Asriel’s ultra-soft silky fur. And also like Frisk and Chara, petting Asriel is one of her favorite pastimes. But since both she and Asriel are currently in a public setting, Muffet unfortunately has to cut things short. But just as Muffet finished caressing his head and scratching behind his long fluffy ears with her two upper hands, caressing his neck with her two middle hands, and caressing his tummy and sides with her lower hands however, Asriel started laughing uncontrollably for a currently unknown reason.

 Asriel: PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEY, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, CUT THAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAT OUT!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!! THAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAT TIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHICKLES!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!! GEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHET OFF MY FEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEET!! AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!

 Muffet: Get off your feet, cutie? …*gasp* Oh no, don’t tell me… *said Muffet all worriedly*

 Moments later, Muffet looked down and saw 6 of her spiders crawling all over the tops of Asriel’s feet and Asriel, as ticklish as he is, is having a hard time keeping still as all 6 of the spiders tickle him to precious pieces.

 Muffet: *gasp* Stephanie, Penelope, Imogene, Danica, Evangeline, Roberta; just what in good heavens are you dearies doing?!!! *asked Muffet with a both angry and concerned tone in her voice* Now is a not the time for something like this!!! *gasp* No, Stephanie and Danica, NO!!!!!!

 At that moment, the two spiders, Stephanie and Danica, squirmed their way into the outermost spaces in between Asriel’s toes, the young boy’s most ticklish spots! And not only did the two spiders make him laugh and bleat at volumes so loud that they practically echoed throughout the entire cafeteria, they also caused the young boss monster to fall flat onto his back against the floor while continuing to laugh from the tickles to his insanely sensitive feet.

 Asriel: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!! NOHOHOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHHOOHOHOHOHO, DOHOHOHHOHOHOHOHOHON’T… BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHA!!!!!! GEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHET THEM OUT, MUFFET… BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!!!!! *laughed Asriel as he spread his toes apart as much as possible and tried as hard as he could to keep his toes spread so he doesn’t accidentally crush Stephanie and Danica*

 Muffet had to act fast! She could tell that Asriel was having an incredibly hard time keeping his feet still and his toes spread. So in response, she swiftly got down onto her hands and knees and delicately removed Stephanie and Danica from the outermost spaces in between Asriel’s toes. And just as Muffet managed to pull Stephanie and Danica out of the outermost spaces in between Asriel’s toes, she was rendered even more horrified when 12 more spiders began crawling on Asriel’s feet! Except unlike the other spiders, these ones were crawling all over every inch of his insanely sensitive soles!

 Asriel: BWHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!! *NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHHOHOHOOHHOHOOHOHO, NAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAT THERE TOO… BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!! *SNORT* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!! *SNORT* GAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! *gibberish* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! *gibberish* WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA~!!!!!!!!!!

 Muffet: *gasp* Allison, Bernadette, Caroline, Felicity, Genevieve, Henrietta, Jacqueline, Kimberly, Lilliana, Madeline, Nicolette, Olivia; not you girls too! Get off of this young boy’s feet at once!

 Despite being told to get off of Asriel’s feet, all of the female spiders ignored Muffet and continued tickling Asriel. And as all of their tiny little legs dug into his insanely sensitive soles, Asriel continued laughing and laughing and laughing and at the same time, he continued holding his feet still as much as he possibly could in order to prevent himself from accidentally hurting them. Or even worse, accidentally killing them! :O It was pure torture for Asriel to keep his feet still under these conditions. But in the end though, and with the help of an immensely high level of Determination, Asriel managed to pull through and ultimately prevent himself from harming Muffet’s spiders.

 Asriel: WAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! *gibberish* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!! *gibberish* GAHAAHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!!!!!!!!!

 Muffet: Girls, that wasn’t an optional request!!! That was a mandatory order!!! Get off this boy’s feet… RIGHT NOW!!! Before you get yourselves killed gosh darn it!!!  *shouted Muffet very angrily*

 To Asriel’s surprise, Muffet was very angry with her spiders! Up until now, Asriel had never seen Muffet angry before and Muffet was angry with her spiders because she told them multiple times to NEVER tickle someone that isn’t restrained by webbing or some other type of bondage. Especially not Asriel or someone that’s ticklish like him! And as all of the spiders nervously and hurriedly crawled off of Asriel’s feet, they all looked at Muffet with ashamed expressions and apologized to her over and over again about how sorry they were for tickling someone against her wishes.

 Asriel: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA~!!!!!! *laughed Asriel as all of the female spiders crawled off of his ticklish feet*

 Muffet: We’ll talk about this in a few minutes, girls! Shame on each and every one of you! *shouted Muffet very angrily* …Now go sit on that table over there, and DON’T MOVE until I say so! Got it?

 Muffet’s spiders: *They all nod yes to Muffet with very sad expressions on their tiny faces*

 Muffet: Good!!!

 Several moments later… after Muffet’s spiders crawled their way onto the cafeteria table that Muffet pointed to… and after Muffet herself calmed down…

 Muffet: Are you ok, cutie? I’m deeply sorry you had to hear all of that.

 Asriel: It’s alright, Muffet. You’re just… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! WAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAT THE HECK?!!!!!! *SNORT* OHOHOHOHOHHOHOHOHOHOHOAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAAHAHA!!!!!! *SNORT* GAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!!!!!

 Asriel’s sentence was cut short when he felt new ticklish sensations on his exposed fluffy stomach. And in response to them, Asriel’s stomach quivered and he laughed, bleated, screamed, and snorted just as loudly as he did when spiders crawled on his feet just mere moments ago. And in addition to that, he tried incredibly hard to stay still for whomever, or whatever, was currently tickling him to precious pieces.  

 Asriel: AHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!! OHOHOOHOHOHOHOHO NO, NAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAT THERE!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! NAHAHAHAHAHAAHAT THERE!!!!!! *pleaded Asriel through his laughter as he felt the ticklish sensations move to his bellybutton* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! GAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! WAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!!!!!!!

 As Muffet heard Asriel’s bleating, she knew all too well that his bellybutton was being tickled and as she looked down at his fluffy tummy, she saw 4 of her long-legged spiders wiggling their front pairs of legs inside the young boy’s bellybutton exactly like they did back in April and 4 more spiders crawling on his stomach directly around his bellybutton.

 Muffet: *horrified gasp* Quintessa, Tabitha, Ursula, Veronica, Winifred, Xandria, Yolanda, Zafina; did you not hear a single word I told the other girls?! *asked Muffet angrily as she gently grabbed all 8 of the spiders off of Asriel’s stomach with her six hands*

 Muffet’s spiders: *inaudible dialogue that only Muffet can understand*

 Muffet: No, don’t say I didn’t say anything about staying off of his tummy! Do you not remember all those lengthy discussions we’ve had about NEVER TICKLING SOMEONE THAT ISN’T RESTRAINED?! *asked Muffet very angrily as she gently set all 8 of the spiders down right next to the 18 spiders that tickled Asriel’s feet*

 Muffet’s spiders: *more inaudible dialogue*

 Muffet: I don’t care how sorry all of you are right now! You tickled someone against my wishes and as a result of that, you could’ve gotten yourselves killed! You know very well how ticklish Asriel is and all of you are incredibly lucky that he managed to stay as still as possible all the while you shamelessly crawled on him!

 Muffet’s spiders: *more inaudible dialogue*

 Muffet: This discussion isn’t over by any means! Now, all of you wait right here on this table until I’m done talking to the prince entirely, alright? And DON’T MOVE!!! *shouted Muffet very angrily*

 Moments later… after Muffet calmed down again…

 Muffet: My goodness! Once again, cutie, I’m deeply sorry you had to hear all of that. *said Muffet as she helped Asriel up off of the floor*

 Asriel: It’s ok, Muffet. You’re just concerned for their safety, that’s all. I don’t blame you one bit.

 Muffet: Thanks, cutie. But good lord, I just don’t understand. Those girls, along with all of my other little dearies, are going to get a reward for all of their hard work today as soon as we get home. Why all 26 of those girls couldn’t wait until then like all of my other little dearies, I will never know. I mean, that type of behavior is very rare from them!

 Asriel: Oh yes, I imagine it is! And wait, reward? What reward, Muffet? *asked Asriel confusingly*

 Muffet: (Oh shoot! I didn’t mean to say that! …Or did I? Ahuhuhu~) Oh, um, wow, how do I put this? Um, do you ever wonder why my little dearies are so good at tickling, cutie?

 Asriel: Um, yeah, a couple of times. Why?

 Muffet: Well, um, it’s because… they’ve had lots and lots of practice… tickling… ME!!

 Asriel: *gasp* Oh my god, I should’ve known! That’s makes so much sense, Muffet! And, uh, if you don’t mind me asking, do you actually enjoy being tickled? *asked Asriel curiously*

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ Why yes, as a matter of fact I do, cutie. *said Muffet all giddily*Ahuhuhu~

 Asriel: Oh man, if I had known that the last 2 times I was at your house, I would’ve so tickled you back!

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ *giggled Muffet as she made sure there was still no one around* Well, would you like to tickle me a little bit right now, cutie?

 Asriel: *gasp* Of course! *replied Asriel enthusiastically as he too made sure there was still no one around*

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ Great! I’m ready when you are. But be careful though, I’m a wee bit ticklish myself. *replied Muffet all smiley*

 Asriel: Heeheeheeheehee! Good to know! Now, if you don’t mind; tickle, tickle, tickle! Tickle, tickle, tickle! *teased Asriel was he wiggled his furry fingers against Muffet’s stomach for a few seconds*

 Muffet: Ahuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu!!! Oh, cuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhutie, that feels so wonderful! Ahuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu!!! *giggled Muffet preciously* But wait, ahuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu, stop for a few seconds, would you? Ahuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu!!!

 Asriel: Sure, Muffet. *replied Asriel as he stopped tickling Muffet*

 A few seconds later…

 Muffet: Now, do the same thing. Except this time, tickle my bare skin, please. I’d really like to find out if your fur is as tickly as I think it is, cutie. Ahuhuhu~

 Asriel: (Wait, how the heck did you… Um, never mind. Not important.) *Asriel thought confusingly to himself*

 Muffet is almost always seen wearing a rather unique outfit, one that’s very “interesting” to say the least, and Asriel cannot for the life of him figure out how she manages to put it on every morning. But instead of questioning how she managed to expose her bare belly to him though, he just did as she asked and tickled her once again. And HOLY HELL the results were different this time around! Asriel’s furry hands are so tickly that Muffet was laughing rather than giggling! :D

 Muffet: AHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU!! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO MY GOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOODNESS!! AHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU!! CUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUTIE, YOUR FUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUR IS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEALLY, REEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEALLY TICKLY!! AHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU~!! *laughed Muffet adorably*

 Since Muffet giggles in an incredibly adorable manner very frequently, it comes as no surprise to Asriel that her laughter is incredibly adorable as well. :D And as his furry fingers dance all over her heavily quivering stomach, Muffet’s laughter becomes such wonderful music to Asriel’s long droopy ears that he doesn’t want to stop tickling her. But as much as Asriel would like to continue tickling Muffet however, he unfortunately has to cut things short since tickling someone for excessive periods of time isn’t exactly something one should be doing in a public setting and all.

 20 seconds later, Asriel stopped tickling Muffet’s bare stomach.

 Asriel: *sigh* Man, that was so fun, Muffet! I really wish I could’ve tickled you longer though. Your laughter is so cute!

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ Why thank you, cutie. And don’t worry; you can tickle me again some time. I promise. *assured Muffet* Why, the day you and your sisters come over to my house, maybe the three of you can team up and tickle me right after my little dearies and I deliver some SERIOUS TICKLING to you. *said Muffet with a wide smile*

 Asriel: Again, Muffet, you clever girl! I love how you think! *replied Asriel enthusiastically* But just keep in mind that it’s going to be a while yet until my sisters and I can come over. We’ve been very busy with school lately and all. …But, only 6 days left after today not counting the weekend though! So that’s a plus at least!

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ Indeed it is. But remember, the three of you can come over on a Saturday or Sunday if necessary.

 Asriel: Hmm, I don’t know. Our next few weekends are pretty booked. Next Saturday, Undyne’s returning from a vacation; and my sisters and I, along with Alphys, MK, Sans, and Papyrus are going to be throwing a welcome back party for her at her and Alphys’s house. And then we’ll be sleeping over at their place that same night while our parents are spending the day alone together. And then the following day, the three of us and MK are going to be at Sans and Papyrus’s house. Also, depending on how well our parents get along this Saturday when they’re alone together, we may be spending more and more time at home. It’s not too often we get to spend quality time with BOTH of our parents, you know.

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ I understand. You just come over whenever you can, ok? And we can keep in touch about it too. I promise you that!

 Asriel: Sounds great, Muffet. Thank you for understanding. *said Asriel as he hugged Muffet*

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ of course, cutie. *replied Muffet as she hugged Asriel back with all six of her arms*

 10 seconds later…

 Muffet: Alright, you run along now. *said Muffet as she stopped hugging Asriel* I don’t want to keep your sisters waiting for you any longer than they have to. And I certainly don’t want to keep the three of you from studying for your math test any longer either!

 Asriel: Hey, it’s alright, Muffet! Frisk, Chara, and I have been studying very hard for it lately and we all believe we’re going to do very well. We just want to do one last study session with our friend, Perry, just to be extra sure we’re ready, that’s all.

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ Oh ok. I’m glad to hear that. And good luck with that test tomorrow by the way.

 Asriel: Why thank you!

 Muffet: Ahuhuhu~ you’re very welcome.

 Asriel: …Well, see you later.

 Muffet: Bye, bye, cutie! And be sure to keep me posted, ok?

 Asriel: Will do, Muffet!

 And with that, Asriel left the school cafeteria and then met up with his sisters so all three of them could go study for their math test with their Asian American classmate, Perry, at his house. And at the same time, Muffet gave the 26 spiders that tickled Asriel against her wishes one hell of a talking to not to ever do something careless such as that ever again. She had half a mind not to let them tickle her tonight and not to let them tickle all three of the Dreemurr kids when that time rolls around. But considering the fact that all 26 of them almost never behave so carelessly however; she felt that that type of punishment would be too harsh. So instead, and in order to remain on good terms with them, she let them off with a warning and decided to let them tickle her tonight and let them tickle the Dreemurr kids when that time comes so long as they promise that they won’t tickle against her wishes ever again. All 26 of the spiders agreed to this and then they, along with rest of the spiders, left the cafeteria with Muffet and then she drove all of them and herself back to her bakery/house. And as promised, Muffet’s going to reward each and every one of them for all of their hard work today… by letting them tickle her practically the same way they tickled Asriel (the first time) back in April. ;)

TO BE CONTINUED...

#undertale tickle #undertale tickling #asriel dreemurr #muffet #tickle #tickle fic

[teacup-tyrant]

SHADOW & BONE REVIEW: EP 3

On this episode: Warm-up heists before actual heists, a big ol'Kazzy smile, a long complaint about Nina's plotline, and more racist Ravkans.

- Ohhh windmills? Are we in the Kerch countryside? Are we in Kinderdijk in the Netherlands??? Oh ok no, still Ravka.

- One letter for Mikhail and 2 for that other girl, and none for Mal, bye!

- Look at that lovely French bed Alina gets. Is there a name for those? Like... a king Louis-style dining chair. You know, the ones with the round back that’s upholstered in the middle.

- Call me Aleksander ?! WAHT. Already!?

- Time for a heist?! YES, now we’re talkin'

- Jesper and this goat, man. This is almost TOO MUCH. I feel like they're diminishing in a way by making him sooo comic relief-y

- Ben Barnes... has excellent hair.

- Time for a lore dump with some lovely music!

- For real, where can I get one of their fluffy ushankas? I like the texture they have.

- Baghra: "Sorry Alina, your little fireball sucks. Never darken my cave doorway again." Harsh, Baghra.

- AHAHAAAA how do you guys feel about THIS particular Kaz hat?! This little floppy beret-looking thing? Bet you want the fedora back now. This boy and his disguises, I swear.

-ok there's that lovely building with the dome from before. Royal archives. Pretty. I want one for my house.

- OMG KAZ AHAHAHAAH best sculptor ever, amazing, what an act, what a smile (it's kind of frightening. Every time Kaz smiles it's kind of frightening. what is the line? sudden as a thunderclap or something like that? We understand now, Inej.)

- This heisting montage is so Oceans 11. It's an Ice Court warm-up. Just THINK of what The Heist™ would be like on screen. This was my favorite sequence so far. 10/10 would steal shit again.

- Inej walking behind this guard the whole time and not being seen. beautiful. We stan a sneaky Wraith.

- Where can I get a pair of mal’s fluffy winter boots, these look so warm. All the Ravkan uniforms look so warm.

- “He knows his shit” how punny

- Back on the ship: in Jack Sparrow voice “apparently, there’s a leak”

- Idk about the Matthias & Nina scenes. Kind of unnecessary. I feel like they should have saved them for season 2. Sorry. .I feel the same way about her involvement in KoS and RoW. Nina is such a good character and you can tell how much LB loves writing her. Imo, Nina should have had her own series instead of constantly being shoehorned into other peoples' series, you know what I mean? It should be the Nina’s Adventures in Fjerda series. She deserves it.

- Inej gives Kaz her knives to hold because of course she does. Ouch, my heart.

- UGH I have always wanted to try aerial silks, I am so jealous. I like how Kaz isn’t watching her hahahaha

- Oh no the Darkling is making me feel bad for him

- Yeah, sure, they’re going to stand trial Matthias, you keep telling yourself that

- Did Alina just mentally break up with Mal

- Sure are a lot of people getting shot in the head in this show, eh?

- Mal does not approve of your racist propaganda (fucking racist Ravkans x4) also how tf is he alive right now

...oh no mal, she just broke up with you though, didn’t you know?

ep1 | ep2 | ep3 | ep4 | ep5 | ep6 | ep7 | ep8

#pocket reviews #shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers #sab spoilers #six of crows #nina zenik #kaz brekker #alina starkov #grishaverse

[echoeternally]

Forever Endures (1)

Oh neat, another thing to complement my Pokemon fanfics! How swell.

Unlike others, this will be the first part of a three-shot mini-series type. It’s basically me building up the background for Machamp and Alakazam, which I’ve talked about with some people before, but I wanted to try writing up.

This first part is when they meet for the first time in their early stages. Because their friendship has to start up somewhere, so this will be where!

I’ll try to update the other two parts with coming chapters of my current Pokemon fanfic, Melting Gelid Roses. This first part was supposed to come out with the previous chapter, but life and computer issues delayed me.

So, here it is now, below the cut! Enjoy reading!

[Caulfield Outskirts, Years Ago…]

 A group of youngsters carried baskets of berries as the sun shined, the remaining hours of the day fading. They marched on their way back to their village, through the chilly but grass kissed roads, as they chattered and laughed the way back. Trees swayed under the breezes that flowed through the area, some strong enough to make them shudder.

 “I think mama’s gonna be proud of getting such a big haul,” cheered a pink puffball, her red eyes sparkling.

 “That’s ‘going to be,’ Igglybuff,” corrected her star-shaped counterpart.

 “Ah, sorry, Cleffa.”

 “Well, I hope my mama’s not going to be cross with me,” mumbled a gray bunny, peeking at the berries under his basket. “She didn’t want me going out too far for these.”

 “It is pretty late,” agreed the chinchilla that walked beside him. “Our parents won’t be happy, especially with that incident that happened some weeks ago.”

 “But we got so many berries for the festival!” A spiked ball, egg-like fairy jumped around. “Bunches and bunches of them!”

 “Oh, Togepi! Please, settle down!” A bigger egg-shaped creature tried to stop the youngest from bouncing. “You’ll spill all of the berries we’ve collected.”

 “Aw, ok…”

 To reach their village, the children passed through a valley. A sharp wind gusted against the stones that rested on the cliffs above, and the children shivered.

 “Gosh, it’s really cold today,” murmured Cleffa. “Maybe we should have worn heavier cloaks today.”

 “Right? Isn’t it so chilly?” The bunny shuddered and shook his head from his crawling chills. “Minccino and I have fur, and we’re still freezing!”

 “It’s ok, Bunnelby, we’ll be home soon enough,” reassured the larger egg-shaped creature. “Then we can sit by the fire and warm up.”

 “That’s if we don’t get scolded forever, Happiny.”

 “Oh, hush. That won’t happen.”

 “How much further…?” Togepi picked a berry from his basket. “I’m hungry now.”

 “Togepi, you’ll spoil your supper,” chastised Minccino. “Come now, it’s just beyond this valley, and we’ll be home.”

 “Ok…”

 Some pebbles cracked and cascaded down from the mountains above the children. They gazed up, staring at the stones that shook from the heavy gusts above.

 “If it gets any windier, I’ll get blown away!” Igglybuff giggled.

 “You laugh, but you’re probably right,” murmured Bunnelby. He patted Igglybuff’s head. “Stick low to the ground and don’t float off.”

 “Ha, yeah!”

 “Let’s be careful from the stones too,” cautioned Happiny. “Even if they’re small, it’s better safe than sorry.”

 “Don’t you like finding stones?” Togepi poked at Happiny and pointed at the scattered brown and gray pebbles nearby. “Shouldn’t you get those?”

 “Not those, I want different ones.” She patted at the white, round stone in her pouch. “Like this one.”

 “Hm. Some stones can evolve us, right?” Cleffa picked up a gray rock. “I wonder if any of them are here?”

 “Probably not,” debunked Minccino, “those are harder to find.”

 A sharper gust howled around them, as dandelion balls scattered through the air. Boulders crackled and quaked above the children, and they gasped as one hefty stone dropped from a cliff above, crashing down to the plateau below it and tumbling over.

 “R-run!”

 Bunnelby and Minccino scooped up Cleffa and Igglybuff, as Happy grabbed Togepi, and the sextuple scurried from the crashing rock that slammed down behind them. They shouted and screamed, spotting another three boulders rolling down from the cliffs above and down to the valley below.

 “Help!!”

 “Someone help us!!”

 As a giant stone came rolling from the hill above, a gray creature leapt out and slammed its fist into the rock. It shattered into many smaller pieces, raining down around some of the children.

 The gray, muscular critter landed, and spiraled around. He grinned at the children and waved, then jumped up and smashed another boulder to smithereens.

 “…Wow!” Igglybuff bounced in Minccino’s hands. “That was great!”

 “Ha, thanks.” Their hero grinned. “Just wanted to make sure no one got hurt.”

 “You’re a hero, mister!” Cleffa clapped. “Good job!”

 “Mister? Ha-ha! I’m not that old.”

 “Still, thank you for the help.” Bunnelby nodded. “We could have been crushed for sure.”

 “What’s your name?”

 “Me? I’m Machop!” His beam softened. “You kids should head home now, the winds are picking up a lot at this time.”

 “Thanks again.” Minccino smiled. “You were really brave.”

 “Aw, I don’t know—”

 “Happiny! Look out!”

 Machop jolted up and whirled around, watching as another boulder tumbled from above. He stumbled as he dashed forward, and Happiny tripped as she held Togepi out from her.

 “Save him!”

 “No, Happiny!”

 “Wah!”

 Everyone panicked as the boulder rolled down for a crash landing. Before it hit, however, a quick yellow and brown blur flickered in, as a critter grasped Happiny and Togepi before they disappeared with it.

 With a shout, Machop punched at the stone, breaking it to bits and wildly searched for the egg-like creatures. A flash beamed beside him, and he whirled around as the brown and yellow creature placed the children down.

 “Oh, wow! You saved us!” Togepi clapped his hands together. “That was so cool!”

 “Gosh, thank you so much.” Happiny bowed to their savior. “We could have been squished. Thank you, thank you!”

 “Uh, um…”

 They tilted their heads at the figure, some kind of mix between a goat and a fox, though not quite either. Machop and the other children closed in, as the other critter shivered.

 “That was awesome!” Igglybuff bounced from Minccino’s arms. “Are you Machop’s partner?”

 “You guys are like heroes,” chirped Cleffa.

 Before anyone else could chime in, a flash blinded them a bit as their rescuer disappeared. Machop rubbed his eyes and quickly looked up, spotting nothing. He twisted around and scanned again, spotting the brown and yellow fellow this time.

 “There!” The critter gasped and disappeared once more. “Hey, wait!” Machop dashed forward, but skidded to a quick halt. “Uh, you kids get home and stay there! It’s only getting windier out. Um…bye!”

 “Bye-bye!”

 All of the children waved as Machop vaulted up the valley’s hills, climbing after his helper that appeared and vanished from view time and again. Chasing after him, Machop jumped from cliff to plateau, dodging or punching stones that fell in his way.

 He slipped at one point and yelped out, but with a bright flash, he arrived gently on a landing. He turned and smiled to the yellow creature, who gasped and disappeared in another flash.

 Determined, Machop surveyed around and continued to pursue the fellow, making his way further up the mountainside. He eventually climbed up a cliff and came to a small cave. He rubbed behind his head and wandered in, with the cavern lit by the sunset’s glow. His helper panted, with his back turned from the cave’s opening.

 “Hey!”

 “Ah!”

 “No, wait, please don’t go!” Machop reached out with his hand as the other vanished. “I wanted to thank you!”

 For a moment, Machop stood in silence, and deflated as he waited. A flash lit up the cave briefly, and the critter appeared as the light faded. He slumped down, and Machop gazed upon him, studying his thin eyes and long tail. Huddling himself together, the creature shuddered as Machop inched a little closer.

 “Um…y-you’re welcome.”  He trembled and scooted back. “Y-y-you can g-go now.”

 “But I don’t want to leave you all alone,” protested Machop. “If you need help getting home, I’ll take you! You helped me, so—”

 “This is my home,” interrupted the other one.

 Machop blinked and turned back, spotting a ripped, faded blue cloth that rested against the rocks. He frowned and pivoted back to the fellow, who still held himself and pressed back against the wall.

 “It’s…really this?” Machop brushed his own stubby tail, and rolled his shoulders a bit. “Here?”

 “Yeah.”

 “But…are you alone?”

 “Y…yeah.”

 “What about your parents?”

 He waited as his counterpart sat quietly, picking at pebbles on the ground. He sighed heavily, and Machop backed up slightly.

 “They…they’re gone,” managed Machop’s helper, his voice breaking.

 “Gone from here, or gone…” Machop quieted as the other boy sniffled. “Oh. …I’m sorry.” They fell silent for a moment, and Machop’s shoulders sank. “…Mine are gone too.”

 “Sorry,” echoed his host.

 Again, the two hushed and waited, as Machop sat down. He brushed over the plates on his head, and blinked at his helper’s ears.

 “Um…what’s your name?”

 “…Abra.”

 “That’s nice.” Machop hugged his legs close to him. “So, you live out here alone, Abra?”

 “…Yeah.”

 “Isn’t that…well, lonely?”

 Abra let out a giggled, but clamped his hands over his snout and mouth. He sank down and sniffled again.

 “Yes.”

 “How…how long has it been?”

 “Uh…weeks.”

 “That long?” Machop shook his head. “Have you been eating?”

 “N-not a lot.” Abra clutched his stomach. “I wanted to get food, but I heard those younger kids, and then…I had to help once I saw them.”

 “…Did…weeks out here,” reiterated Machop. “Did you…were you from Caulfield’s outer square?”

 “Yeah, I…” Abra shook his head. “How did you know?”

 “That’s where I was from.” Machop flicked a pebble away. “Before the accident with the wind and the fire.”

 “So…you were one of the lost kids,” realized Abra, “…like me.”

 “Yep.”

 “That makes sense.” Another pause rose between them, as Abra hung his head. “I’m sorry.”

 “It wasn’t your fault,” soothed Machop. “It was just…um…they called it—”

 “A freak accident.”

 “Yeah, that.”

 “…Yeah…”

 A low growl echoed around the cave, and Abra grasped his stomach. Machop slid his legs out and sat back.

 “We should go get you food.”

 “Um, you, uh, you don’t have to.”

 “But I want to.” Machop pushed himself forward. “You shouldn’t be here all alone. We’re not alone, and the village is helping us…us, um—”

 “Orphans.”

 “That’s it, that.”

 “They’re nice, but I’m scared to be there,” admitted Abra. “I…I miss my parents, and I don’t like being alone, but…but I don’t like being in the village without anyone that I know.”

 “…Hey, you know me now.” Machop smiled. “What if we stay together?”

 “Huh?”

 “Yeah, how about that?” Machop bounced up. “I like to wander around and help other folks out, but it’s a lot by myself. If you could help me sometimes, that would be great! And we could stick together and never be alone!”

 “Don’t…don’t you have other friends?”

 “Nope.” Machop shrugged. “Most of the time, after I help someone, they thank me and sometimes offer me stuff, but that’s it really. But, I still like helping out!”

 “That’s nice of you.”

 “And you do that too!” Machop grinned. “You came out once you heard those little kids and helped out! With you, we were able to save all of them!”

 “Well…yeah, but…I guess.”

 “Come on, then!” Machop reached down and held out his hand. “We can be partners and help out all kinds of folks! Who knows how many? It would be great! And we can stay together forever!”

 “Together forever?”

 “Yeah! We can be best friends, and besides helping people, we can do other stuff!” Machop held up another hand and counted off with his fingers. “We can play games, train with each other, sleep and eat together, and we’ll always be around each other so that neither of us has to be alone again! Wouldn’t that be great?”

 “Um…well, I sleep a lot,” brought up Abra. “It’s because I can’t channel my powers yet. And…I can’t really fight that well.” He deflated and sulked against the rocks along the wall. “I…I don’t want to bother you like that.”

 “That wouldn’t bother me,” persisted Machop. “I’ll just train while you sleep too. And we’re not old, so we have time to get better at battling.” He smiled again. “Besides, you don’t need to be good at everything to be friends with someone.” Machop reached out toward Abra with his hand again. “I don’t want to leave you here alone. And…I don’t want to be alone either.”

 They sat quietly again, first remaining still in the cave, as the sunlight faded. Abra slowly reached up with his hand, which twitched as it bumped against Machop’s fingers. But he brought it forward again, and their hands wrapped together.

 “…You really mean you want to be with me?” Abra slowly pushed himself out and up.

 “Yeah, I do!” Machop helped his new friend up from the ground, and gazed up, as Abra stood up. “I really want you to come with me.”

 “Go with you. Together forever,” repeated Abra.

 “Yep! Forever together, together forever!” Machop laughed.

 “…I’d like that.”

 “Me too!”

 “Ok.” Abra hesitated and held Machop’s hand tightly. “Ok, yeah, I’ll go with you.”

 “Great!” Machop tugged Abra closer to him. “Let’s get going then!”

 He turned to leave the cave, but stopped as Abra threw his arms around Machop. Turning back, Machop tightly hugged Abra, and the two held the embrace for a bit. They pulled apart and laughed as they smiled to each other. Taking Abra’s hand into his again, Machop led him to grab the blanket, and the two walked from the cave.

 Together, the pair gazed up at the darkened sky, spotting the stars that came out. Machop led Abra forward, but he tugged back and pointed below. Machop glanced out and the two disappeared in a bright light. Down by the rubble and the valley’s end, the pair reappeared, and Machop grinned to Abra. Holding hands, they walked back to their hometown.

Yay, they met and became fast friends! Loneliness makes a good motivator.

I mentioned before to some friends that Abra and Machop were orphaned after an accident in their village that claimed the lives of their parents, as well as other children’s. It helped establish their codependency toward one another, because other adults can help, but they can’t quite relate to what the pair is going through like they can.

Machop was always the little heroic type, since he aspires to become a knight some day. He ropes his timid but clever Abra pal right in after they mix their talents together for the first time. They’re not too old themselves, but they managed to help other and younger kids out, so they’re doing something right together, which Machop wants to keep going, and Abra likes the idea.

Speaking of, yeah, it’s another write-up that I’m not sure if it’s canon exactly as it’s written, but the general idea is. And, obviously, it’s before Melting Gelid Roses and Inferiority Complex, both which also feature this pair, but when they’re older and in their final stages.

Like above, I’ll add the next part in with another chapter of my main fanfic, hopefully a little closer in time, but as long as it’s the same month or within weeks of it, that’ll be good enough. I think the middle part will be longer, but the last will probably be shorter. It’s fun to write them, I can’t help it.

Anyway, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! More to come.

#brainsandbrawnshipping #abra #machop #pokemon #pokemon fanfics #three-shot #fanfic #forever endures #based on #melting gelid roses #echo's fanfics #igglybuff #cleffa #togepi #happiny #bunnelby #minccino

[teacher-lavin]

Bon Bon, Jan Savitt, and me*

Photo from Vol Vistu Gaily Star (1939). 

See author’s reading of story in audio file at bottom. Also, Recording of Bon Bon performing “The Masquerade is Over.”

I found an envelope on my desk full of letters that I must have written back in brighter times. This one was on top. 

Dear Bon Bon:

I hope that’s OK, --to call you “Bon Bon.” I met you in 1974, the year just before you passed. You had invited my dad to visit, and he brought me along. I was 19. All I knew was that you were the crooner whose silken voice fronted the Jan Savitt Orchestra in the 1930s when my dad was a trombone player with the band.

Big handshakes when we arrived. I think you had been ill, and you were staying in Philly with your sister or an aunt. Trying to seem grown, I said, “Bon Bon, it’s great to meet you.” But my dad cut me down, saying, “That's Mr. Tunnell, to you, boy. Who do you think you are?” So, I corrected myself, “Sorry, Mr. Tunnell.” And you smiled and said, “Don’t pay that old goat no mind.” And then you candidly asked my dad, “Jack, does he play?” And my dad said, “He’s terrible.”

The room had an audience of three or four of your cousins and a blind lady from the neighborhood. There was also a delicate young woman about my age, a niece. My dad was being very courteous and fun with everybody, except me, of course. He usually reserved his jovial laugh, and decorous, joking manner for people whom he wished to impress. I was easily embarrassed in those days, particularly in “company” with my father. The reason was that my dad’s way of dealing with me was to attack when he sensed my weakness. The worst was when we were with other people.

So then, my father dressed me down again with a rebuke, “Kid, when are you gonna get a lip?” Shaking his head, he lamented loudly that I never practiced. But, Bon Bon, you put your arm around me, and whispered in a tone that  the whole room could hear, “Young fella, your old man ain’t never gonna change. He’s just wound up too tight. I would love to hear you playing or even leading a band somewhere, someday. I know you will.” You were speaking like you could look into my future. Then, you quipped, “You gotta have a sweet-lookin’ trumpet or a trombone, right?” I nodded. That was a lie. And you included my dad in the musing, “Jack, we gonna buy this kid a valve-trombone like that silver-plated horn we bought for you. Remember that, Jack? I told Mr. Savitt to get that one for you! You always made it sing.”

Bob Bon! The airy way you intoned your words was a melody. Your speaking voice rose and fell like a brass choir. Your phrasing, your pauses weren’t just talk, your way of speaking was like Coltrane and Miles trading licks at a jam session.  While speaking, you walked me across the room and introduced me to your niece, and she greeted me with this kind, innocent, bashful, welcoming single syllable and  accompanying gesture, “Hi.” She raised her hand faintly and tapped the air twice delicately. I melted. You prompted me, 

“Well, is it trombone or trumpet? I know Tommy Dorsey here would never let you play the sax." My dad rebutted, “Don’t mix me up with that scoundrel, Dorsey!” For my part, I was way off key at this point and, trying to sound mature and to join in the banter, I overstated my cause, “I play both! I play trombone and trumpet. Man, I’m bad.”

You saved me, halting and gazing at my old man, warning him, “Look out, Jack. He’s coming’ for you.” My dad just shook his head.

We were in the nice room at the front of your folks’ house where visitors came. When my mom and dad had been together, we had had a room like that. Drinks appeared. There was a lot of laughing. Once I started to feel the beer, I was OK. That’s how I met you. You were more than generous. You were a magnanimous presence. Well, the story continues. My dad and I left your family high and late that pallid summer afternoon. It was the seventies in Philly. The car radio played Temple University’s Jazz Station low, and against a background of static another friend of my dad, Hank Mobley, was wafting a Brazilian-styled Bossa melody from the car’s speakers. We were somewhere in Southwest Philadelphia. As we drove away, we were euphoric on so many memories you and my father shared. Skying on that feeling of friendship, --free associating like a long piano solo. We were inebriated by the luxury of having been together partying with good people. For the moment, I was drunk. And so I felt almost safe. Dad was telling me stories about you guys. I  knew that you were the star of Philly’s  Jan Savitt Orchestra. As my father wheeled his rusting Cadillac homeward, he told me that you were Catholic and that, while playing a gig in Pittsburgh where the band had to stay in a hotel, he met you early one Sunday morning walking to mass at a nearby Catholic church. He reminisced over the steering wheel, “It was a big band. Fifty people or more on the road.  But that singled Bon Bon and me out. We were the only two practicing Catholics. After that, we prayed together when the band was on the road on weekends.” It wasn’t just the whiskey talking, it was affection. From my dad, that was different. His voice went falsetto high and even broke a couple of times. He said you had “credibility” with Jan Savitt and that the bandleader followed your advice about musical arrangements, style and orchestra personnel. After you and my dad had gone to church  together, you must have commended his trombone playing to Savitt. So, the conductor began calling him up during performances from the back of the bandstand to the mike. Once up front, my dad said that he would crochet vamps and runs on the trombone behind “Bon Bon’s magical manner of lyricizing.” His horn had to echo your singing. The trombone had to blend, dipping in and out of your trademark sound. My dad concluded, “That was a great opportunity. Bon Bon opened the door for me.”

So, after leaving hotels in Reading and Scranton, Pennsylvania and Atlantic City and Cape May, New Jersey to seek out Sunday morning masses, doors started opening for my dad. I guess no matter how much hell you guys were raising through Saturday nights, you both went regularly together to communion the next morning. You had a bond. I learned that you knew lots of people in Pittsburgh, too. Through you, my dad met Art Blakey, Sonny Stitt and Ahmad Jamal all playing in the Hill District. “Bon Bon brought me to the party,” my dad remembered.

That suave evening on the way home, I also learned that Jan Savitt was real committed to launching an integrated orchestra back in the 1930s. As if teaching, my dad historicized, “Savitt was Jewish and he had seen too much hate. He wanted music to be a language that everybody could hear and speak and understand.” I was young, but I got that.

My dad remembered that, in some bands, white players were paid higher, belonged to separate musicians’ unions than black players and, “There were places we played where we had to enter through separate doors because the owners were racist idiots. It was humiliating to everybody. You see. You’ve got a friend who is including you in his life. You’ve got a friend who’s sharing his family and  connections with you. You’ve got a friend who is taking care of you. Then, you see him being excluded from the money and the respect he deserves, and there’s nothing you can do about it.  His family and friends always made space for me, --always were good to others. I was never cut out. No matter how hard he worked, Bon Bon was exploited, disrespected and insulted. He always showed courage. He always showed humanity.”  

The way home, punctuated by neighborhoods and stop lights and crosstown expressways, went quiet. Finally, my dad asked me, “So, what do you think?” Feeling unprepared, I said, “I don’t know,” Then, he reprimanded, “Well you’d better figure it the hell out, kid. You’d better figure things out or you’re going be stuck out in the cold.” 

We were back to being bitter. My dad by invective. Me by clenched silences. The stress of being with my dad made me sweat so much that I felt feverish. The hot summer evening suddenly seemed cold. So much had happened, I couldn’t make sense of  the currents sweeping through my shaking body. I got out of the car finally and my dad didn’t say “Bye,” he just said, “Figure it out!” That was over half-a-century ago, but since that time whenever I wanted to cheer my father up, I would mention your name. Especially at the end of his fight with cancer. As he’d lay listless in the aftermath of treatments, all I had to do was mention you if I wanted to see him pause and smile. Bon Bon! However briefly,  you brought me and my dad together. You made us whole. Yes. Your voice called friends and families and lovers to life’s weird party. Then, you sang, and those people felt the love. Audiences that came to hear you saw Black people and Jewish people and Irish Catholics and Protestants and Muslims all performing together back in the 1930s. You were a healer.

My dad was cruel, and I’ve had to deal with that. But he did love you. And the best gift he gave to me was the way he adored jazz musicians for their talents and their friendship.

He told me, “You can learn to love Jazz. It’s African music. It’s beautiful. Jazz is like being part of a big family. Ella and Dizzy and the Duke and the Count. They’re all connected. But you can never know what Black people in this country experience. You can never know the bigotry they have to face. You can’t know that from the inside.”

I got that as a kid. The only time I had ever seen the old man cry was near dinnertime on the day in July 1971 when Louis Armstrong died. I was just home from my job at a shoe factory in Norristown and was nursing a beer on my dad’s couch when the evening news suddenly reported that the Great Satchmo had passed. His face went wet with tears. “That man never played a bad note,” was all he could say, over and over, like a mantra.

Bon Bon! What I learned was that music --even the crooked notes like what I played on my student model trumpet at weddings and dances and other weekend gigs-- still had power over people.

So, no matter how angry I felt about my dad’s abuses to my mom or his bitter way with me, I have to thank you for caring. Even for that skinny, frightened teenager I was. You made me want to play bell tones and to share my sound. I wanted to soar on that silver valve-trombone that you and Jan Savitt bought for my dad.  That was a goal, right?  Well, even though my learning curve has been a spiritual mudslide, I feel your charm in moments of reverie like today writing this letter. I listen to you croon “The Masquerade is Over,” and I hear your voice honor love. I learned that, --at least. No matter whatever else has happened.

When the weather breaks, I’m going to be tracking down where you’re buried. I’m quite sure that must be somewhere in Pennsylvania. My dad once said that he would have loved to visit with a wreath from the two of us, --to remember you. I just want you to know all these years later that your voice is still heard, Mr. Tunnell.          

With Affection,

Johnny

* All of the persons named in this story are completely fabricated and fictitious and bear no connection to actual persons living or deceased, --except for Jan Savitt, George “Bon Bon” Tunnell, Ella Fitgerald, Louis Armstrong, Count Basie, Duke Ellington, Stan Getz, Ahmad Jamal, Art Blakey, Miles Davis and John Coltrane. 

#Jazz #Philadelphia Jazz #American History #African American #Religion #History #Jan Savitt #Louis Armstrong #George Bon Bon Tunnell

[bigbrotherorre]

FINAL EPISODE: “DENNIS IS SUCH A KING” - ALI THE REST OF THE GAME.

WEEK 13 

if someone who doesn't love me wins this week then bye bye ashvika 

annoyed that sammy nominated me because i kept him safe last week whereas i could have just as easily flipped to keeping alivia and he could've left...but more than that, i'm annoyed at his speech. i dont think he should've used "you nommed me" as an excuse bc that's lame and he was the first to nom me and i nommed him back so we were even, and then i let him have veto pick when he was nommed and i made sure he got taken off. also conversation is a two way street and i dont see him trying to make a conversation with me either, he could have just said the real reason....i love hearing about how good of a player he thinks i am.... the worst case scenario is if bryce or zeezo win, i think even if the noms stay the same that i have a good chance of staying? granted that autumn and ali don't decide to turn on me and evict me 

why is bryce spreading lies :( i didn't tell ali to nominate sammy.... 

ive made a lot of mistakes this game and there all coming at me now.. my position in the game is terrible and i can blame it on ppl playing not to their win condition or on just the wrong ppl winning comps at the wrong time, but ultimately i could have tried harder convincing ppl to see the light or to do better in challenges so ultimately its on me. feeling really hopeless this week even tho i avoided being a preveto nom i think ill be a post one if literally anyone but me wins veto. and i flopped veto (cwl). i cant wait for after the game for ali to admit that he did tell me that ashvika pushed for sammy to be nommed. order in which id vote ppl zeezo- always worked with me and if she makes it to the end she truly DID THAT ashvika- really took control of the game with her hoh win and after jose left smartly picked up the goats and became the biggest threat randy- a king love us working with/against each other throughout the game and even tho he was voted out im not one to discredit buyback winners autumn- never spoke to me but guess she didnt need to KASDHFK ali- fakest person ive ever met dennis- knows how to get to f2 at least sammy- ignores obvious facts and always makes the wrong move  but good at comps so wooh (me teas too tho...)

somehow i didnt get nommed but like so sad what the heck zeezo is going home like why is everyone so jealous that shes prettier and funnier than them :( why cant we all be her goats <3 i guess its good bc like i cant win with zeezo in the game and i can vote to keep her still, but honestly if i lose in f2 with zeezo itd still be fun bc she has had my back all game :] I AM SO SAD UGHHHH GOD HATES GAYS AND HES TAKING MY TWO WOC QUEENS BACK TO BACK. Now i have ashvika who is a queen but not my queen!! And autumn yikes hates me always :(

SORRY IVE BEEN GONE!!! I did one video confessional for Week 11 and just like never posted it lmao but I will haha and that's all behind me. But anyway I just have so many feelings. Live  night is about to begin, me and Zeezo's war is finally concluding, IM STILL TRYING TO GET MY FIRST COMP WIN, and I'm trying to protect my allies at all cost. Some cracked shit is about to go down and I'm so excited and so so glad I took a nap before this cause I'm ready for anything wooo

RANDY: WIN SAMMY: ... ALI: FAKEST PERSON IVE EVER MET MAYBE TALKS A BIG GAME AND SAYS HES SUPER NICE AND EMOTIONAL BUT SUDDENLY CAN TURN THAT OFF. HE WOULD BE A GOOD VILLAIN BUT HE ACTS NICE AND DOESNT OWN IT AND MAYBE ITS JUST BC ITS SO SOON BUT I HOPE HE CHOKES AND HAS HAYFEVER FOREVER! WHAT EVEN IS HAYFEVER??? HORSE BOY AUTUMN: NEVER SPOKE TO ME BUT NICE DENNIS: FORGOT TO PUT SOMEONE ON THE LIST, KNEW HIS WAY TO F2 AND IF HE DOESNT TAKE CREDIT FOR THINGS ICON AND ID VOTE FOR HIM.

AFTER THE TRIPLE EVICTION...

OK BUT DAT TRIPLE DOE http://media2.giphy.com/media/xUA7aViRhBQPzXNAAM/giphy.gif It was dramatic, over the top, emotional, satisfying, show stopping, gut wrenching- literally everything you want out of a triple. I... don't feel bad for Breezo lmao, not after all the messiness they've caused. But doing Ashvika dirty is literally the hardest choice I've had to make in Orre. Sis I am so so sorry. I should've thrown you a vote but you know how Randy is and you really know how Dennis is. I just--- that was something I like wasn't prepared to ever do, break Ashvika's heart. But like in my beautiful dark twisted mind? It was perfect because I knew I couldn't go to the end w/ Ash but I was never going to nominate her. So here we are rip ALSO LAB AND BREEZO ALL SITTING IN JURY??? BIIIIIIITTTCCHHHHH https://media.giphy.com/media/zcAii7T9JXezS/source.gif If you're reading this, you know I sure did say I would wipe that whole group out and send them to jury and it really did come to pass. John sure did gas all of them up to win and I sure did tell him in my Week 10 goodbye message that they were all bout to walk in behind him. So in the spirit of prophesizing, let it be known that Auli aka Ali and I will make Final 3 because we are the strategic dynamic duo y'all slept on. Like correct me if I'm wrong: we've been on the right side of all 8 "merge" votes (there's no word for like opposite of pre-jury lmao), we ain't been on block since Week 6/7 and it's now Week 14, and we've downplayed our iconicism left and right so we're the last duo standing at Final 5, and no one wants to take a shot at us. BUT YALL STILL SLEEP CAUSE THE MIST IS THAT STRONG. That's ok though! When Randy and Sammy walk into jury next y'all will see Also I'm  dead at how much jury hates Ali hahaha. Deadass he has to stay in the game for safety reasons. Like soooo many jurors wanna kill him. That's my ride or die though so I can't let that happen. Anyway I still feel like shit for obeying Randy, which hurt Ashvika, made Dennis cry, and further dragged Ali's corpse. But the good news is woooo it's Final 5 and these boys all want to take Auli to the end. So do I NEED to win this HOH? No not really. Am I still praying and pleading with God like I do before every comp? Absolutely https://media1.tenor.com/images/1a11748f0c7ce30ab4afd057fab66751/tenor.gif?itemid=5677211

Me when I shocked the nation and won HOH and finally had power in the house after 13 weeks https://78.media.tumblr.com/2a8c6d7cc298da364a847f8f9d767c7c/tumblr_opiih6Z7tB1ub3fcfo1_500.gif Me then using said power to target my baby Randy for the greater good https://media.giphy.com/media/hic9t15zsdwfC/giphy.gif And now me that I'm selling my entire family, land, soul, and wig collection to get Dennis to keep me and kill Sammy so that I'm not Ika Wonged because I know for a fact Ali would take me to F2 and Dennis would be a dumbass not to take me too. AND I ALWAYS BELIEVED IF I WENT UP A FOURTH TIME THAT WOULD BE THE TIME I GO UP ON THE BLOCK AND DONT COME BACK DOWN SO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DENNIS BE STRATEGIC AND KEEP ME https://i.pinimg.com/originals/23/53/9d/23539d4ab6c13adab50940426d73ed6e.gif

[AFTER F4 EVICTION]

WAIT WHAT HOW AM I ALIVE?? https://media.giphy.com/media/TZ388aYpsLMcM/giphy.gif AND HOW THE FUCK DID I MAKE FINAL 3??? https://yiaelxzosjw9p4bs-zippykid.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/happy-crying.gif Pray for me if I win Final HOH cause fun fact: I, the strategic legend, have no clue who to fucking take to the end and that's the biggest gag of the entire season BECAUSE I DIDN'T PLAN OUT THIS FAR GODDAMMIT AND I WISH I HAD. Ok that's not entirely true- I knew I should either sit next to Dennis or Ali because ya know contingency plans matter. BUT NOW??? Bitch ion know I just wanna win

CLICK HERE & HERE TO SEE DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOMS!

i've never seen a better reflection of the emotional rollercoaster that is my mental state than these two being filmed less than 12 hours apart jasldfa

CLICK HERE AND HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOMS!

okay i have lots of post finale thoughts but i need to type them up tomorrow. i just hope the jury knows how sorry I am if I ever upset them, because I love them all so much and would never want that :(

time for my post finale wrap up and.... whewie. This is so upsetting because, I just did this for all stars. Like it's looking like my track record is LITERALLY going to be 2nd 9th 2nd 2nd 2nd, I CANT COME 2ND AGAIN. I really can't take this. Here is the bigger problem though and this is why Orre will be my last game whether I win or not. I can't keep playing these games when I upset so many people. Like it honestly broke my heart yesterday hearing how much I upset people like Bryce & Ashvika, people I love SOOOOOOO much. I don't want to upset people. Like... what upset me about finale is I don't think the jurors realise that.... I didn't just upset people for the sake of it and ahhh. Honestly, I'm really upset, like not even that I'm coming second but that I upset people. So with that said, I really apologise to the jurors. I got the impression that I hurt you all so bad that you are giving me 2nd as like.... punishment? And while I hate that, if I hurt you all that bad I really owe you all an apology. Anywho, since this is definitely my last game, I've played 183 days worth of games to just come 2nd, and that's just too much. I'm too flawed of a person and player to continue playing these games and just keep coming 2nd. Like it just hurts. so yeah, i'm sad but mainly because this is deja vu. I'm so proud of Dennis for winning, he is such a sweet genuine guy and when he was complimenting me during the finale, it was the nicest thing I've ever heard and I'm so greatful. No matter my game or his, I'd be happy to see Dennis represent our season.

Can I just say... Dennis is such a king. What a kind-hearted, genuine guy. A true king.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

okay so I lost.... and I'm weirdly at peace with it. I know I answered the jury questions terribly and I had... some jurors that would never have it in them to vote for me and would actively campaign against me. Dennis is a king, and in a cast with toxicity and SUCH bitterness, I think he is a phenomenal representation for the season. Otherwise, I am really honoured to get Ashvika's vote, she is such a deserving POTS, and to get POTS' vote is always an honour. Autumn and Jose are amazing friends and I am so happy to have got to work with them, John is a player with SUCH potential and he is WINNING BOTS & Zeezo I'm really honoured to get her vote too! For the others, Bryce is a KING and so is Blake (they both seemed really upset by me so I hope we can be friends). Lynn I never spoke to and seems... very bitter about the season's result, but I hope she gets over it because she is also a QUEEN. Randy is a funny one and I'm starting to worry all his friend talk was just him playing into my emotional side, but he is a good egg really I know it. Sammy is a ghost king. I kinda want to end on Alivia. Alivia is a person whose personality is obviously very different to mine and the way she speaks to me and others really upsets me a lot of the time. However, her bitterness against me is understandable and I hope she gets over it, because she defines herself by anger and bitterness when she is such a funny and likable person and doesn't need to do that. but woo... to wrap stuff up, I'm so grateful for Nicholas & Julia for casting me, Owen & Emily for being amazing.... OH, I forgot what I wanted to say. Autumn is a queen, a legend and amazing. She is honestly soo soo amazing, like... someone I really admire and see as a rolemodel? she is inspirational, a queen and a legend. Dennis is the nicest, most well intentioned guy ever SO sweet and really just a genuinely nice guy. I have made lasting friendships with some members of this cast and I'm so happy. so yeah.... i'll probably do another one of these in like a day or so, but if not.... ali out woo

we love coming to jury and being told about my ""showmance""".... wanna die jadfkl. my only showmance was to snakery, my way of life. blake was robbed but also is a broccoli. last words? autumn and dennis are my faves, best F3 ever.

FINAL CAST ASSESSMENT

#bborre #episode

[survivorindia]

Disturbing Patrons with my Mental Breakdown- Kendall (Episode 8)

Okay, soooo. I'm pretty sure all of the returnees threw the challenge RIGHT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW in order to vote out the minority newbies... Aka me.... So, I'm pretty pissed off as it's evident that I'm the only one who actually TRIED at this challenge, when I clearly shouldn't have because I'm extremely sick with strep and should be sleeping all day. SOOO, that was a huge waste of my time and I'm pretty pissed about it... But it's fine, bitches. Satan will see you in hell <3 :*

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WE JUST THREW THE CHALLENGE. I have never thrown a challenge before and that was terrifying. If this backfires on me i'm gonna look like a moron but I have good faith. Hopefully bye bye Ruben, Worst case scenario bye bye Casey, Worst-Worst case scenario bye bye allies, and Worst-Worst-Worst case scenario bye bye Jordan

i definitely picked my tribe with the intention of screwing someone over. i think things have revealed themselves nicely on where loyalties still lie, and while one or two people might think they're in the driver's seat, i'm in a good position to shift the gears without them noticing. and that means their car will crash and we all die. hehe.  i'm prepared to make a move if we lose immunity, but im not letting that happen. i want to win this one just so i can be safe one more round. figure things out a little more. let tea spill. but i'm not going to let myself make the same mistakes and spill my guts to anyone willing to listen. i'll keep information to myself. i know i'm on the bottom of the returnees alliance and probably the newbies one, too. but i'm content for right now, because ultimately the returnees will start to fall. we'll be picked off one by one. dom wants to throw immunity, and sometimes its not a bad idea to do that, but this round, it needs to not happen. ruben will likely go home but i dont think he trusted me in the first place, so it's his time. sorry.

i'll take his position if he does. lexi needs a #2 and its between robin and myself. i respect robin bc they were there for me when i had no one else there for me. i feel like i've known them for years, but we just met and thats powerful. i have a powerful bond to this person. they're important to me. but this is also a game and i know my competition when i see it. if they have to go at my expense of making it another day, i'll do it.  idk if im still a villain or if im becoming a hero. i think that's up for determination. 

LOOOL WILD TRIBAL. BUH-BYE, JULIA. GLAD I DIDN'T SEE YOU AHAHAHAAAAA

This is oh so sweet. If everything goes well, bye bye, Ruben! This one's for Johnny.

Can i just say........ HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU JAIDEN FUCK YOU DOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY FUCK SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE JULIA LEFT. Lets get down to brief overview and how i feel about it  1) Julia gets voted off.....SO MAD 2) Alex, Dom, Jaiden are in clear alliance of three, split the tribes up so everyones pair is separated...so basically...jordan and I are gone, casey and ash, ruben and lexi ...u get the point. 3) They put me on a tribe to fuck me over...im gone when they make these tribes and I come back to the ugliest tribe ever. Jaiden. Robin. Dom. Lexi. Alexis. Ashley and I. Now Ash and I are just sitting there like.................................i – i- this plan is so obvious??!?!? and do those three boys think its not obvious their together and they did this on purpose to FUCK ME OVER!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! um why u so obsessed with me BACK OFF 4) Ashley calls me at work during the comp and TELLS ME DOM IS TRYING TO THROW THE COMPITITION..................to say that the reason hes doing that is to save casey....thats right CASEY. YA RIGHT DOM FUCK OFF WHO DO U THINK WE ARE..........................now lets talk about this because ...................bitch u really want to try me!?! I know those three boys arent as stupid as their moves are coming off!?!? but do they think this is believable!?!?!? Seriously? Im kinda confused because a) They vote julia equalling in jordan and i coming full force on them.....like if ur gonna go for the two headed snake ....dont go for its tail? Sorry but julia was just a number. Jordan and I are the ones who game talk together and as much as i hate playing with him...i love playing with him if that makes any sense. b) you want to throw a competition...to what? To get me out? um....do you underestimate jordan , kendall and I? Yea were on two different tribes but its clearly obvious im fucked over. As if they wouldnt throw this comp.  5) We win immunity....and you would think the way ppl were acting was as if we lost. But it was so obvious everyone of them threw that and im PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [7:00:19 PM] jaiden: that's fucking bullshit [7:00:24 PM] jaiden: I went back and CORRECTED myself [7:00:26 PM] jaiden: i'm pissed [7:00:36 PM] jaiden: I'm glad we won but FUCK. THAT. [7:09:57 PM] Sarah: ARENT U HA;PPPYYY [7:10:00 PM] Sarah: YUHJGEDSXF [7:10:08 PM] jaiden: that would've been sooooooo bad sarah [7:10:19 PM] jaiden: I would've felt like SHIT if we had to go to tribal all because I made a simple mistake ............Jaiden................You had the lowest score on our tribe. And you think i didnt know I was going if we lost?.... “Simple mistake” mhm HUNTY I BELIEVE U FOR SURE Now its kinda obvious what dom is doing and honestly......................................fuck u wtf do u think ur doing being a better player than me? I cant wait till i vote ur ass out. Please take it as a compliment Actually...wait  no fuck u binch face motherfuck i hate u anyways so i was thinking that if we lost immunity ...i could come up with a plan. Jordan gives me the idol, it will be publicly shared, Jaiden will immediately come to me freaking out because hes being a fake ass, asking if jordan gave me the idol...I will tell him (in confidence HAHHAHAHAHAHA) that jordan gave me a fake one and that i only did it so people are scared to vote me out. He'll tell dom so they dont switch votes on Ashley. Then when I get majority votes ill idol out my votes, ashley puts one vote on me, i put one vote on dom so it ties. So if dom plays his idol it will be WASTED ANYWAYS. But if they split votes then ill be safe who cares if ashley goes home. Because im safe and in f13!!!!!!!!!! and hopefully merge happens soon so i can stop doing this. But its ok bc im gonna pray kendall and jordan throw the next comp. Honestly I love Kendall so much I want a f2 with her now that Julia is gone. So watch out for that in the future. http://i.imgur.com/D8kFHyf.gif DONT MESS WITH ME I WILL SELL MY SOUL JUST TO MAKE SURE I MAKE MERGE

Candle added Jordan Pines to this conversation.  From: Candle Jordan you know I adore you Sent on: 2:10 pm  From: Jordan Pines oh no Sent on: 2:10 pm  From: Candle But if you want to make a group chat, do it yourself Sent on: 2:10 pm From: Candle From: Jordan Pines hahahaha Sent on: 2:10 pm From: Jordan Pines this callout XDDDDDD Sent on: 2:10 pm  I couldn't have said that better myself Sent From: Candle Kay well I’ve made my point so get off my lawn you damn youngings Sent on: 2:11 pm Candle has removed Jordan Pines from this conversation Candle has removed Gavin from this conversation  AYYYYYYYE. YES. KENDALL. YES.

I hate getting lied to at Tribal Councils, but Julia left which is actually a good thing and kind of my fault oops. It's Kendall all over again in Malaysia. 

 But yeah, things got messy but I got to pick my tribe for the tribe swap. Jaiden and I got on call and decided we were going to split everyone up (Sarah/Jordan, Ruben/Lexi, Casey/Dom), so that's really fun and exciting. It'll be neat to see how everything goes with the pairs being split. Gavin and I are still together which is sweet. 

 I'm pissed about the vote count at Tribal. Jaiden ruined my no vote streak, but at least he did it on Day 87 for me not getting votes, which is my favorite number. 

I haven't been having fun in India and I never really knew why. It wasn't as though I was losing, it wasn't as though I was in any danger. I was just bored... it felt like something was missing, aside from my soul. So I had a heart to heart with myself over a cup of coffee. I went up to me and said "Me, what's wrong? I've been acting sadder then I usually am, what's wrong egg?" I simply gave myself a shrug and sadly responded "I dunno, I really want to have fun but something is missing... it feels like I am going through the motions," I gave myself a sad sigh. "Oh me, what am I going to with I? How am I going to win a game that I don't have the will to even play," It was at this time I was politely, but sternly, asked to leave by the Starbuck's Barista because I was "disturbing patrons with my mental breakdown," Which was bullshit by the way, I've had like 6 mental breakdown and they are not nearly as tame as me talking to myself. And so, as I argued with the barista and as threatened to call the cops, I had a realization. I have been experiencing the human emotion known as 'pouting'. I have given up because I felt like I had no opportunity to get to the end, that I was either going to get dragged as a goat or voted pre merge. But I have things I can use to my advantage. I don't have to lie down and play dead. If I just pretend to be a good little soldier until merge, reconvene with Sarah and some others, I could do something incredible. For now I just need to play nice. I have decided to stick with my allies. Not because I suddenly grew a brain. Not because I felt some sort of kinship with them or 'friendship'. It's just the best thing I can do Here is an elaboratation on my reasoning the form of a chart: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qPAkC4IhbNWgE2II29QqNaQFR1rgckfBEK_yKCOat5A/edit?usp=sharing 

Oh right, I almost forgot to mention during my ego maniacal ramblings. We are going to probably through the challenge to save Sarah (For strictly strategic purposes... I promise). I say probably because nothing has been confirmed. TBH if we lose, even if it is unintentionally, I'm about 80% sure Jordan Pines will claim that he meant to do it. Welp that's a common side effect of working with a narcissist. What are you gonna do?

Okay so FUCK this tribe swap. I am literally stuck on a tribe of people I have like never even spoken to, that is my fault of course, but damn how did I get so unlucky? Jaiden says he chose me because I am good in challenges and that I am a nice person, I mean that is nice and all but I am now separated from Gavin, Jordan, Alex, literally anyone who I actually liked and was hoping to really get to work with. This counting challenge is also a goddamn mess. Dom has gotten us like -25,000 points already ON PURPOSE. He tells me he likes me and isn't coming after me, but that leaves only two other returnees on our tribe that he could go after; Jaiden and Sarah. Sarah is kind of certain that Jaiden and Dom are working together, which kind of goes against the whole "newbies vs. villains" thing they are trying to start. But who knows. I can only hope the guys on the other tribe will also try throwing some challenges to give Sarah and I a chance over here on this tribe. They don't want newbies to have majority either.

Jaiden picked me to be on his tribe so that was perfect because I really did not want to be on the other tribe. Lexi spoke to me a bit and let me know that Ruben talked highly of me and how she was fond of me for that reason Robin's nice Jaiden's cool and we've both wanted to be on the same tribe for quite a while now so that finally happened Ashley rarely ever speaks to me and forgets to reply constantly Sarah only now started talking to me a bit more since she believes she's in the minority and Jordan probably said she could flip me Dom is a bit suspicious at times but I believe he trusts me and that he wants to take the newbies far I lost it again last night after the results, I should have done my confessional then but everyone already assumes I'm already crazy so maybe we'll save that for later. I feel a bit more calm now but last night I wanted to request tribal and still do sort of but I don’t think it’s possible. I wish I threw the challenge since I hate when the other tribe gets what they want and I don’t want Ruben to go. I like this Lexi, Robin, Dom group going on so I am hoping to solidify that soon and I think they assume it’s newbies vs returnees still. I’m hoping that by some miracle, a returnee gets voted out and apparently Dom just handed Ruben an idol. I believe Jordan assumes I’m closest with him still and that’s why Sarah has been trying to talk to me more lmao! I like Jordan so we'll see where that goes but he's controlling a huge part of the game as of now. Sarah should have tried a bit earlier to speak to me because now it seems like desperation, but I’ll keep playing this middle role, it amuses me. Sarah said she only really talks to Ashley so that's nothing new since I assumed she was close with her from that returnee alliance before the swap. Here’s to hoping the next challenge is something easily thrown so we can finally say goodbye to Sarah or Ashley :)

That was honestly a messy challenge result. I don't necessarily blame anyone for throwing though. I didn't know I was in the negatives so I'm sure everyone probably made mistakes they didn't catch. I'm worried for Ruben. He's the only one from my old alliance on the other tribe. Dom gave him his idol though so he'll hopefully be safe. On another note, I've been talking to the other Lexi. To be honest, if started off because I confused her for lexi my ally. We're getting along pretty well. She's definitely someone I'd like to work with in the future. Jaiden's also pretty cool so I have my bases covered once we go to tribal

#youdontgetmycrownjustcause