#okay i've ranted enough i think

[stars-and-darkness]

if you get into writing fic with the mindset that it's like any other social media where you're the content creator who builds up a following, you're never going to be happy with yourself because that's not how this community works

no, what fic writing is really about is bullying your readers with your words and your batshit ideas

#look i see so many posts arguing why ao3 should have an algorithm and they disgust me #this isn't a popularity contest!!!! #it's about having fun regardless of whether or not a fic flops #it's about putting your ideas down to paper (metaphorically) especially if your takes are batshit/unpopular #a fic that's trying to get the broadest possible audience must by definition suck #not only bc it stops being a labour of love (for the ship/fandom/character. for the community. for writing itself.) #but also bc fic isn't MEANT to be sanitized #it's meant to be an exploration of themes that probably won't make their way into mainstream media #i joke and say bullying but ... it's about creating something for YOURSELF and sharing it with others regardless of how it's received #a fic is not meant to be enjoyed by everybody #if you get into writing and expect a cult following like on social media ... you're missing out exactly on what makes this community unique #okay i've ranted enough i think #ella originals

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for - #- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?' #i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy' #but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety?? #i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day* #aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all............. #ranting

[boyywithluv]

.

#having a creative rut feeling #gonna rant #im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well #and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it. #every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that #like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw #but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better?? #i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it. #and thats scary for me. #but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content. #i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating. #i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it #i just feel. worse? i dont feel good. #i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good. #ugh #idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make #and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame. #not that i find those things lame #but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain. #when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!! #but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset #im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay #bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft. #i don't think im making sense but like. #you know #I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content #multiple times. #so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame #but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't #vent ish

[fnaf-flags]

The Progress Flag picked from the FNAF Movie Poster!

[ID in alt text]

#fnaf flags #fnaf #fnaf movie #freddy #bonnie #chica #foxy #HI EVERYONE... #it's been... what. 7 months? something like that... #anyways SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING LOLL #but as a certain purple man says... “I always come back” #i've missed this blog a lot so... here's a little something for the end of pride! #okay enough ranting in the tags see you guys later! [hopefully...] #OH also lmk if you guys think i should keep putting the ids in alt text or put them in the post itself #okay NOW i'm done

[marinsawakening]

The most annoying thing about the Gerudo in BOTW is the orientalism, racism and misogyny. The second most annoying thing about the Gerudo in BOTW is the way the orientalism, racism and misogyny directly tank their worldbuilding.

I'm not gonna talk about why the Gerudo are orientalist, people smarter and more informed than me have already done so extensively and I don't have anything to add to that discussion. I'm here to bitch about how it affects the worldbuilding to the extent where Gerudo society, as portrayed in BOTW, does not make much of any sense in-universe.

Let's be clear here: the worldbuilding would be trash even if it made complete in-universe sense because it's orientalist and misogynist. But it doesn't even make sense in-universe and it's pretty much entirely because of the orientalism and misogyny.

Two things are true about the Gerudo at once: 1) they do not allow men into Gerudo Town, and 2) they are absolutely obsessed with finding husbands. I don't want to guess at percentages, but a truly ridiculous portion of the dialogue the Gerudo get is somehow related to finding husbands, being in love with men, etc. It is baked into their culture, most obviously exemplified in the love lessons that occur in Gerudo Town. But, more important than lessons or whatever, is the fact that leaving Gerudo Town to find a husband is considered a coming of age rite of passage for young women. It is an integral part of Gerudo culture to leave on a journey to find a husband.

And let's be clear: the goal here is absolutely, unambiguously long-term marriage. Many Gerudo you meet lament the shallow nature of the men who try to pursue them, we see Gerudo who reference husbands they currently have, and just generally the way the Gerudo talk indicates that they are not looking for a one-night stand or a summer romance: they are looking for something permanent. They are looking for marriage, and a good portion of them succeed.

So. Uh. Where do their husbands live?

The only time see any Gerudo who permanently lives outside of Gerudo Town is in Tarrey Town, and you're the one who brought her there. All the other Gerudo you meet outside of Gerudo Town or Kara Kara Bazaar are travelling. There are no Gerudo residents in Kakariko, Hateno, or Lurelin, or mixed Gerudo children.

This is very, very weird when you consider that married Gerudo would not be able to live with their husbands in Gerudo Town. The 'no men allowed' rule has no exceptions, so if a newly wed couple wanted to live together - and they almost certainly would - they would have to do so outside of Gerudo Town. And yet, we do not see them, despite demonstrable evidence that married Gerudo do exist.

There is another option, of course: that Gerudo culture normalizes long distance relationships even for married couples, and that the husbands live outside of Gerudo Town whereas the wives live within it. This is theoretically possible, except we never get any real in-game hints indicating it. It's still the option that makes the most sense, but it's a fanmade band-aid solution, not a real element of the worldbuilding.

Either which way, the inherent conflict between 'men are not allowed in Gerudo Town' and 'a big part of the Gerudo Town culture is to get married to men' should logically be causing tension. While the guards take the rule very seriously, most of the people you meet inside Gerudo Town don't really care that you're a man, and we know there's a thriving black market supplying men's clothes. This indicates that, already, in canon, most Gerudo play fast and loose with this rule to begin with, and don't have much special attachment to it.

Which makes it even more glaring that nobody seems to be arguing against it. Logically, there should be conflict between the Gerudo who value the tradition of an all-women Gerudo Town, and the Gerudo who want to be able to live with their husbands in their hometown. With how incredibly centered the Gerudo's culture is on these two things, this should be a major political problem that's going to singlehandedly turn Riju grey before she even comes of age. There should be discontent and unrest from newlyweds and long devoted wives who don't want to leave their home behind to be with their husbands, and don't want to leave their husbands behind to be home. Who would want to, at the very least, be able to show their husbands their childhood home.

But even if there wasn't, there should be a larger Gerudo presence outside of Gerudo Town. Either Kara Kara Bazaar should be a lot larger and more populated than it currently is, or there should be one or more smaller towns around Gerudo Town where the married Gerudo live with their husbands, or where the husbands of the Gerudo who live in Gerudo Town reside. You cannot tell me every single Gerudo would be okay with abandoning their culture and moving in with their husbands; even if they could not bring their husbands back to Gerudo town, they would frequently like to live somewhere close by. And if we take the long-distance approach, there would be plenty of couples who wouldn't want to be separated too far, and therefore there'd be husbands moving closer to their wives, even if they could not live in the same town.

But say, for the sake of the argument, that this also didn't happen: then, at the very least, we ought to see Gerudo in other Hylian settlements. We ought to see Gerudo who live in Hateno, Kakariko, Lurelin, and maybe even at the stables. We ought to find populations of diaspora and mixed race Gerudo who have grown up outside of Gerudo Town, and have maybe even never visited it. We have circled back around to the first point of argument.

If the Gerudo are getting married, we should see evidence of their husbands, somehow, beyond dialogue references and quest objectives.

The reason we don't, of course, is obvious: orientalism. The Gerudo are an orientalist idea of a harem, exotic women out of reach yet practically begging to be conquered by Western men. They want to be with men, are searching for men, yet are very rarely shown to find one because doing so would pop the fantasy being sold to male players: that they could be the one to get them.

So to successfully sell this orientalist, misogynist fantasy, the worldbuilding becomes completely and utterly nonsensical.

[HAS NOT PLAYED TEARS OF THE KINGDOM DISCLAIMER]

#debated whether i'd turn reblogs on or off for this one but decided nah. don't want to deal with that #i'm not nearly confident enough in my knowledge of orientalism to really let a post about it circulate. not that it would but just in case #like anyone with eyes and a brain can see the gerudo are orientalist and i've obvs read some articles but y'know #<- has not yet read edward said's orientalism #IT'S ON THE LIST OKAY #anyway there's better and more qualified ppl than me who've talked about the issues with the gerudo than me #i just. needed to rant about this bc i just finished vah naboris and I really like Riju so i've been thinking about the gerudo #and their worldbuilding drives me up the fucking WALL #my posts #botw #long post #loz

[mu1tiverse-arch]

i'm the only one complaining abt this but the fact that each member of a sw trio has a f.ortnite skin except p.oe d.ameron just makes me really bummed

#delete / #legit he's the only one i've wanted this whole time like GUYS PLEASE #on the bright side i don't think i'm giving them any money this time around bc .. they didn't give me the last person i wanted lmao #okay mini rant over i've exposed myself as a 13 year old enough today

[curiouschaosstarlight]

person #1: "[character i really love] should die violently!"

me: okay, bye

person #2: "i love this character!"

person #2: "[other character i really love] should die violently!"

me:

#not important #chaotic rants #if i had a nickle for every time one of my non-villain favorites got bashed i'd... #i'd be rich honestly why the fuck does this keep happening to me #i feel like i've made this post before #anyways i dont want to get directly specific because i dont want this to show up in searches #but if anyone's wondering the characters are Sampo and Argenti from HSR #i love those two immensely #i also love Kafka WHO ALSO gets bashed a lot i've noticed :\ #i think i'd be deeply uncomfortable with ANYONE wishing violent death on any character #it's a feeling i genuinely cannot relate to in the slightest despite having characters i dislike and dont really want to see #but it's especially distressing when it's my favorite characters #in case you're wondering this is why you'll never see me participate in direct character or ship bashing on my stuff #maybe i would have in the past but everyone is someone's favorite #and whenever im about to directly namedrop a character or ship that frustrates or annoys me i just kinda pause and go #'okay but what if someone who really likes this character/ship sees this and feels ashamed for their enjoyment?' #And Then I Don't Do It #not because anyone's making me but because the internet is a public space and frankly #there's already enough toxicity in the world #...i should post more character positivity and dress up/picrew stuff (and art but my art block's been severe lately) #maybe i'll build a queue in a bit if i can get my energy up #(if y'all are wondering why i have so many posts that are me complaining about fandom attitudes) #(it's 'cause spite gives me a temporary energy boost and i've been severely lacking in energy lately) #i -am- a bit hesitant because i know my takes on certain characters (particularly Dottore) are #insanely niche in a way i dont think anyone reading this before i've posted anything demonstrative of that fact will expect #and then i feel self conscious putting my niche stuff out there to be looked at #but! that's why i have custom character tags anyway i s'pose

[silverwhittlingknife]

superboy: the man of tomorrow 1 spoilers

(it's just one panel but below the cut just in case)

memory identification: go!

#dc spoilers #memory identification CHALLENGE #okay so: obviously there's the 'waking up in cadmus' #the friends don't seem like a reference to anything - i mean ig it could be donna's death but i think they're just a generic memory #or possibly it's yj:dc and there's just nothing that actually happened to reference? #i think that's tara dying #and then the last one: match punching him?or is it superboy-prime punching him? #(to be conner is to be constantly getting punched by alternate superboys dsfdsfs) #anyway (despite this one angsty panel) this was fun and zippy #v. light-hearted and not a whole lot to it - looks like it'll be space adventure + punching-stuff #there isn't enough here to really hook me but the art is cute and conner's narration is bouncy #so if they keep putting it on the app i'll probably keep reading #i really wish. mm. okay WARNING RANT INCOMING this is kind of tangential and maybe it's just the comics that i pick up #but i feel like of the few modern comics i've picked up - a lot of them are very light on the characters having concrete problems #even problems as simple as 'getting bad grades in school' or 'have to lie to my dad' or 'need a job to pay the rent' #like. i feel like tim in robin '93 had concrete problems that couldn't be solved with a pep talk and 'you just gotta believe in yourself' #dick in nightwing '97 - same! concrete personal life problems that could not be resolved by a pep talk! #and i really miss. like. characters experiencing dilemmas or having to make trade-offs #and just generally i miss a bit more realism - like. conner feels unneeded. okay? so? #shouldn't he be going to school or something? why is costume-stuff top of mind? where are the authority figures/external forces? #i think these kinds of intensely-internal problems can work in non-visual fiction bc you're in the character's head BUT #comics are largely visual and everything with real emotional punch works way better if it's concrete things that i can see #anyway that's just my personal preferences though and it's not superboy's fault! #conner's never been a realistic character - he had goofy merchandising and was a kid celebrity and so forth #and although i didn't read his preboot solo i don't think he ever went to school there either? except in adventure comics? #so he seems very well-suited to plucky space-adventure #and i wish him the best. go forth and prosper conner!! punch those aliens!!

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

like im just saying they should invent a family that doesn't make you want to kill yourself

#and a school system while theyre at it #or just a me that wouldn't make me want to kill myself #just like. without all the problems that make it impossible to exist in normal society as myself #i know technically its possible for me to have a future but goddammit i dont see one okay #i havent made a single goddamn real life connection since middle school and now we're so distant i barely remember whos who on discord #thats not to mention how I've just been on the edge of every friendgroup anyway. including that one #im just some fucking loser. im not going to fucking graduate my only career aspiration is a goddamn pipe dream and if i dont fucking kill #myself by then im going to be stuck living with my family forever and we're not going to be seeing eye to eye. #all ive ever done is dig myself a deep grave and then tether other people to me to drag them down too #i love you all but i dont know how you see me as anything but gross and annoying and weirdly fucking clingy okay #i just #i dont know what im fucking doing #i wish i did. i wish i knew but i dont. and it feels like everyone else has figured out how things work and im just supposed to do that too #but i cant. i fucking cant and it keeps getting worse and i keep getting worse and i keep making it worse for my family while im at it #i miss being able to imagine doing stuff tomorrow. or in an hour #i miss being able to wash the dishes and not having to think about stabbing myself with fucking cutlery #i miss being able to show my mother my report card #but its my fucking fault im in this mess in the first place #and i just cant fucking try enough. or at all #aethers rants #cw vent #cw sui ideation #personal posts and stuff idk

[annalyticall]

To be honest I think I'm starting to become so apathetic to gender that I could possibly be non-binary but at the same time I am also just apathetic enough to not care about changing my pronouns or doing anything differently about how i present to people

#long gender rant incoming but i've never not identified as a woman and I'll probably always be one #but also i don't think i identify so much as a woman that i find it to be so drastically different to being a man? #like i never identified as a man either and never will but also like. idk we're all just people man #it's the roles we impose on ourselves that makes it seem like there's such a chasm there but there's not #like sure i'm sure on some level being a woman predisposes me to behave certain ways #but i was also fortunate enough to be raised in a household where my gender didn't bar me from playing with or liking things deemed for boy #so when i gravitated towards engineering and action movies and video games i mingled a lot more with boys than i did girls #not to be a 'not like other girls' girl but just because i naturally wanted to surround myself with people of common interests #and that just kind of normalized for me sharing space and thoughts with men as an equal #and sure sometimes men in particular piss me off but mostly just the men who subscribe to the bs role they were given as a 'man' #like the ones who don't think they could possibly relate to me because I'm a woman #like fuck that. obviously. but i also find it hard to identify with movies like barbie that draw such a clear divide between genders #like i remember my biggest problem with the movie is that very rarely did it feel like the kens and barbies ever genuinely liked each other #i know that wasn't the point of the movie. it is a critique of gender roles and the patriarchy so relationships were not the focus #but i also couldn't really see myself in the barbies and i found it kinda hard to fully immerse myself in the message of it #idk. all this to say i am a woman but sometimes i wish i didn't have to make a big deal about it #oh yeah okay no wonder i'm bisexual

[ridiculously-over-obsessed]

You know this time next year, when I haven't spoken to mum in months and I'm not coming home for xmas, I hope she thinks back on days like today and is like "yeah that's probably the reason he went no contact"

#max rambles a lot #sometimes i think that maybe things will be okay and i won't have to cut off the other half of my family when i move out #and then days like this happen where both of them start screaming at me because idk the way i'm feeling is inconvient to them #and *my* autism and mh isn't an excuse for being 'bone idle' and 'lazy' (i swear i'm really trying i'm just Going Through It rn) #but theirs is an excuse to treat me like shit #i fucking hate it here #i've decided that whether or not this opportunity comes to fruition i'm moving to York in september #opposite side of the country while still being in the north #hate the idea of moving out of manchester tbh i love it but a fresh start is what i need so 🤷🏻 #yeah fuck them both tbh i worked so hard to buy them nice xmas gifts that i know they'll love #and almost broke myself on multiple occassions to clean this hovel of a house and it's never fucking good enough #i am the only one who is *still* sleeping on the floor because mum and my sister both have new beds and mattresses #and i got yelled at for trying to figure out if i could afford to get a bed too #because mum didn't want the hassle of sorting my room out too before xmas so i have to wait until the new year??? #like fuck off i'm so tired of being on the floor all the time i hate it here sm #anyway i'm sad and tired and angry i've really had enough i just needed to rant into the void #because if i go off at either of them it turns into 3 days of screaming at me and i'm way too tired for that honestly

[astrovian]

if you user t/rrent there’s been a dual audio version of the man from rome out since september and the image quality is better than youtube

Thanks for the tip, anon!

I do just want to point out something though - we absolutely should be paying for RA's content where possible

Now, don't get the wrong idea that I'm preaching from up on a high horse because trust me, I have streamed (and still do) so many things in my life that may have come from uh... let's say, more *dubious* sites

Accessibility to content is a real issue for a number of us, especially because RA tends to do a lot of UK/European-centric releases. Here in NZ we can have *so many* paid subscriptions to legal streaming services and still not be able to access modern mainstream content that places like the UK & US take access to for granted

So look - I get it. I actually actively encourage it 99% of the time

But bear with me for a second:

I know it's obvious, but I think it bears repeating that paying for RA's content is the number one way we can say directly to film creators - "yes, we want you to cast RA in more things!!" and also allows us to directly tell RA - "yes, we do want to see you do more things and continue on like you are!!!"

It's that old stupid phrase that I hate for being so true: money talks

And that idea of talking with our money directly to Richard is particularly important to keep in mind, more so now than ever I think, as we look ahead to the next few years, and also back at the past few years of RA's works

I mean, look at the main types of works RA has been producing in recent years:

a) Netflix-heavy content (where most of us have subscriptions that are not solely dependent on him being in their shows)

b) Smaller, more niche productions & film markets (e.g. though maybe a bad example because it's also a Netflix film, we know for a fact RA took a pay cut to shoot Space Sweepers because he liked the idea of the film, but the film itself was intended really for more of the Korean market than the Western one) - not necessarily Hollywood blockbusters

c) Audiobook narrations & voice-over work

Combine that with the fact that he's very explicitly said that his focus for the coming years is on his fledgling writing and producing careers which he's been setting up, and I sadly do think that the time when we see him less and less on-screen is coming much sooner than any of us would really like to admit

(and I mean that in a "I'm happy for you RA for following your current passions but also depressed at the thought because I want you to continue in front of the camera for as long as you can" kind of way)

I'm not saying that I think he'll give acting up for good anytime soon (he's not THAT old, despite his complaints and talk of self-retirement 🙄) but I think it's incredibly naive for all of us to not see the writing on the wall in terms of the direction he actively wants (and is working hard to ensure!!) his career is moving in - and in particular, what that means for his on-camera career

My prediction is that we will see his narrative, writing, and producing works increase in volume and they will take over the majority of his time in coming years - we'll only get the occasional film/show from him compared to the bounty he's blessed us with in the past (keep in mind I am also really talking big, big picture here)

Which will be a bittersweet moment for us because I think we're all so happy he's following what he wants but also so sad his new acting jaunts will be less frequent for us to consume (note how I'm not suggesting he will stop acting in film/TV altogether)

((and I would could write a freaking novel on why I think he's seemingly a bit obsessed with this idea of self-retiring and getting old as an actor but that is a story for another time maybe!!!))

BUT ANYWAY, as dumb and as obvious as it is, what I'm saying is that paying for RA's new shows/films is the number one way we can get the message across to him that despite these exciting new paths that he's gonna wander down (and we will be following him down!), we still want to see him exercise his acting muscles as much as he's willing to for us!!

So, by all means, t/rrent & stream where you need to - heaven knows I do. Do it if you need or want access to his work ASAP and that's the only way you can get it. Do it if it hasn't been released in your country & don't feel guilty for it

All I'm saying is - if you are blessed with an avenue to pay for one of his works, and if you have some spare dollars at the end of a paycheck - please, please, please do so

Stream it illegally, then ALSO go buy the DVD. T/rrent it then ALSO buy it from Apple or Google Play. Stream and t/rrent it and then ALSO go see it in the cinema. Or do all of them if you really can afford to!!!

Paying to see RA's films/shows is the number one way we can ensure he makes more room in his life for future acting gigs while he also focuses on wandering down new exciting chapters in his career

#this isn't me trying to be mean-spirited to you anon!!! i'm basically just ranting about why i choose to pay for his works where i can lmao #but not everyone can afford to and that's okay!!! i believe in full and equal access amongst us all #also i know 'pay for an artist's work' is not a hot take at all #but i just think in the wider context of where RA is currently at (and where he's looking towards) it's an important reminder for all of us #like i've actually ordered the DVD but also wanted a digital copy so I can see it ASAP without having to wait for the DVD to ship!! #and i'm fortunate enough rn to be able to afford both (which i know is excessive) but whatever #anyway this is your 'support RA as much as you reasonably can' club member signing off #also god i could write a thousand pages ranting about my thoughts on the self-retiring ideology RA has but i don't want to actively drive #people away from this blog lmao #richard armitage #the man from rome #la piel del tambor

[a-tale-of-legends]

I like how I'm able to at least write a short snippet for my fangame ocs but with my Legendverse ocs( my main ocs) I get NOTHING

#this is a joke. kinda. #i think making ocs for fangames have made me realize what I've been missing: #chaotic fun #don't get me wrong i love thr Legendverse and am having lots of fun #but i don't really make sillies or actually just ramble random non researched thoughts #or have my ocs interact with each other like i've always wanted to #i think TLH is what's really helping me here. #its kinda freeing? if that makes sense #its kinda making me want to just gush about my ocs more. not even related to any lore #just shit i find funny. #okay that's enough ranting and rambling lol

[glitchpaladin]

i think the most frustrating thing about being upset for whatever reason is trying to voice it and then being misunderstood because you can’t word it properly

#like im genuinely #so upset lmao #rant in the tags ig bc i need to get it off my chest #i finished this ux design course thinking that because i like design and am.. slightly good at graphic design stuff enough to #sell commissions for rp stuff #that it would be pretty good for me #but as soon as i finished it and started working on my portfolio for it i had this overwhelming sense of making a mistake #and now my portfolio is at an okay place where i can use it to apply ( or i thought lmao but thats another story entirely ) #im realizing that not only was i wrong about this but i also severely overestimated my ability #and i keep trying to put it into words and all that comes out is that #i feel like i made a mistake #because i don't have the experience #and to get the experience you need networking skills and to know people and all of that #but that's legitimately the One thing i know for a fact i fucking suck at #and no one i talk to is /listening to me/ about it #so i've just been sinking deeper into this hole and i can't see myself crawling out of it #and i feel like i keep wasting time and wasting opportunities to try and save money or make money so i can leave this #shitty ass house and my shitty abusive family #and ALL OF THAT is bleeding into literally everything else lmao #anyways i hate myself

[misspelled-url]

wisdom tooth pain ranting in the tags don't mind me

#it's 4am and I can't sleep because my toothache is KILLING me i feel like a peasant in 1368 vulnerable to nature's whimsies #it's been constantly hurting for more than 24hs and sometimes the pain was dull enough that i've been able to tune it out if i was #distracted enough but rn it's just excruciating #and every time i swallow the pain doubles for a second #i just. needed to rant SOMEWHERE otherwise i'd go insane i think #i just. want the pain to stop i don't want to have to take my wisdom tooth out #ive never had an operation and id like too avoid it if i can but frankly I don't want to deal with this pain much longer fml #i was literally at the dentist a month ago and they said let's just see how it develops #well. turns out it developed now #fuuuuuuuuuck #this might be 4am me talking but i just wanna fucking cry rn #my alarm will go off in a few hours and i hate everything #anyways #let's see if i can find some fucking ibuprofen in this house #ive been hesitant to take any so far because what if it makes me hurt myself somehow through a movement or sth if i don't feel pain? #also i haven't taken any because i'm fucking stupid #and the stupidity ends now. im channeling the ibuprofriends paracetamigos post #la concha de la reputisima madre #... okay #rant over #for now #congrats if you've read this far #this post is definitely mainly meant for myself & my sanity #good night hopefully

[alllgator-blood]

I call this one "found family but it goes horribly wrong in an irreparable way" :)

I've been doing a lot of cotl comics but I kinda lost my comic making endurance after not working on art since last september, so I made this to help me flex my art muscles. Apologies for the watermarks lmao they kinda kill the mood but I've already had people repost my art when I put it on reddit so...might as well get the credit if my stuff is gonna be reposted regardless. RAMBLE INCOMING!!

Thinking about how shamura was most likely the one to find + raise their adopted siblings and help them survive the mass deicide that happened thousands of years before....OUUGH. I have so many ideas for comics that take place when half the bishops were still lil kids. I have one in progress right now actually. But it just hurts when I remember how it all ends- they loved their family for so long and yet they credit their love as what caused it to fall apart!!! The lore of the bishops only sunk in when I was dealing with my own heavy sibling angst, and I was like wow....shamura supported the sibs so much they accidentally encouraged their brother into being a heretic, and couldn't close pandora's box in time to save him or the rest of the family. They blame themself for the past 1,000 years and seem to be totally okay with dying for what they did?? Like when they get sent to the shadow realm they tell you to "finish the job" instead of leaving them in purgatory. And despite being the bishop of war, they are the only bishop to not have a "desperate" phase where their attacks get more brutal. They're not desperate, they just want to get it over with. All their other siblings are dead by then anyway so it's not like they have anything to stick around for, even if they were healthy enough to win the battle. Plus I mean...narinder is the bishop of death so they probably just want to see him one last time. Owch

Don't get me wrong I love to hate narinder and his only role in my cult is the guy who cleans the outhouse, but I really like his dynamic with shamura vs. the other siblings. I kinda see him as the troubled kid that couldn't assimilate into the family and shamura took it upon themself to try and fix him. It's interesting thinking about how they're the only one he shows remorse for despite feeling the most betrayed by them. I don't think he 100% hates them, he's just been locked in gay baby jail for so long he's had nothing better to think about than "my sibling encouraged me to experiment with my godly duties, and then punished me for it!!". He's not wrong? But also is shamura that wrong either??? Idk it's complicated with no real answer and I like it a lot, I wish the game told us more about what the bishops were like before they got their shit rocked during the schism. I would've loved to see shamura before their brain was turned to mush by their tbi + 1,000 years of suffocating grief and crushing guilt :)

ANYWAY thanks for making it to the bottom of this rant, here is a sketch I did a while ago of shamura + baby leshy from a prequel au thing I don't have a name for yet:

#cult of the lamb #comic #cotl #cotl bishops #shamura #kallamar #narinder #the one who waits #heket #leshy