#one was a fundamentally kind person

[taz-writes]

here's a hot take for today

the narrative function of sex is the same as the narrative function of fight scenes is the same as the narrative function of songs in a musical

no i will not explain

#taz talks #writing #actually i WILL explain but i'll do it in the tags #these each serve the same function within their respective appropriate genres #each one is a kind of revelation #they heighten the connection between 2+ characters and highlight relationships and feelings and needs #they are out of place in genres where they do not belong and/or as curveballs when the narrative did not provoke them from the start #but they have the same sort of emotional/dramatic build-up #talk -> sing -> dance (talk -> yell -> stab) ((talk -> flirt -> You Know)) #and they are all expressions of intense physicality and intimacy through physical gesture and interaction #they are fundamentally empty and boring if there is not a deeper purpose or drive behind them #although they can still occasionally be entertaining on their own if your audience is specifically seeking that experience out #people who do not like them will be very unhappy to encounter one where it isn't supposed to be #it is very easy to ruin the mood with poor word choice #many people have an inherent sense for terrible ones but it's often difficult or complicated to explain precisely why a bad one fails #when executed properly they are a very raw and intimate expression of a character's most fundamental needs and desires #the fluff is stripped away and there is nothing left but a series of needs. conflicting or cooperating. #and even when you're lying during one it's still a form of truth #none of these things are remotely necessary to tell a powerful or compelling story but if you're going to use them you need to do it right #also all 3 of these things are difficult if not impossible to write if you are not both interested in them and personally invested #this post brought to you by me trying to write smut about my dnd characters and failing because i generally hate /reading/ smut #so i have none of the vocabulary or instinct for it that i do for. say. graphic violence (or lyrical poetry)

[nav-ix]

the planet earth gave john the tremendous power to save her and by doing so put him in a position where he was uniquely equipped to destroy her utterly. and then he was like ok cool now what if everyone in the whole galaxy replicated this dynamic forever

#if someone is powerful enough to save you then they r also uniquely equipped to destroy you #and unfortunately because of that it means u cannot let them leave you ever #like i think at his heart john is a man who fundamentally cannot let go #and i think in a lot of ways so is almost every other character? with their Special Person that is #i also think thats why paul and jod are gonna end up existing in an interesting dichotomy with each other. #because cam ALSO couldnt let go. it was her one thing #idk im kind of rambling now anyways #ntn spoilers #nona the ninth spoilers #the locked tomb #tlt

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

#makoto naegi #Danganronpa character analysis #Danganronpa #danganronpa thh #danganronpa future arc #I fucking love Makoto Naegi man. #I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known #he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said #he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky #he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did #if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world. #he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done #and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend. #I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though #post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do #it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to #and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc #he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions #I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse #and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate #and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable. #honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually #I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself #that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels #it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it #it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic #anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for #the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!

[commsroom]

the "big picture" - whether that refers to some detached, calculated greater good; ruthless ambition and progress for the sake of progress; or even the dear listeners' cosmic indifference - as an antagonistic force in wolf 359 is so fascinating to me because of the way eiffel as a protagonist is set up to oppose it, just by nature of who he is. eiffel retains his humanity even under the most inhumane circumstances. his strength is in connection, and with that he's able to reach others who share his core values, but he's operating under a fundamentally different framework from the show's antagonists. he can never understand where they're coming from or be swayed by their points of view because, for better or worse, he can only see the world through a close personal lens.

it's an ideological conflict he has with all of them, but notably with hilbert: "you talk about helping people, but what about the real, live people around you? [...] that's your problem. you're so zoomed out." eiffel will never, ever see that "big picture" because he is so zoomed in. at his best, he puts things into perspective and grounds the people around him. at his worst, his perspective narrows so drastically inwards that he becomes blind to everyone and everything else. his failings are deeply, tragically human - they're personal, they're impulsive, they're self-destructive. they're selfish. no matter how much he might try to narrativize or escape from himself, he's still left with doug eiffel: "it's taken me this long to realize that running from everyone else means that you're alone with yourself." eiffel could never be convinced to harm others on purpose, but he has hurt people, and it's never been because he didn't care. the very fact that he cares so much, that he's incapable of reconciling the hurt he's caused with the things he values, is what keeps him from real growth for so long. where many of the other characters in wolf 359 will justify their cruelty in service of something they consider more important, eiffel is so caught up in vilifying himself and the fear that he's always going to harm the people he cares for without meaning to that he shuts himself off from the people who care about him and perpetuates his own self-fulfilling prophecy.

#wolf 359 #w359 #doug eiffel #someday i'll finish my essay about the big picture as an antagonistic force. it's only been on my list of things to do for uh. ever #eiffel really cannot be convinced by Big Picture ideology in any form because he's so. unambitious and inwardly focused #he's not self-reflective at ALL but he is self-centered #and in some ways that's genuinely a good thing #but it's interesting. that he vilifies himself and tries so hard to. externalize his redemption and see some humanity in others #as proof he might be able to be better. when if those people consider themselves villains at all then they consider it necessary #i'm not sure if i'm phrasing this the way i want to but his worldview is just. fundamentally incompatible. #when i think about eiffel i think a lot about. how self-loathing is also a kind of exceptionalism. considering yourself uniquely bad #is its own way of avoiding accountability. #idk. it's complicated. it's a lot. it's interesting that lovelace talks about the 'big picture' when she's briefly a sort-of antagonist #but her 'big picture' is personal and emotionally driven in a way no other use of the phrase is #and then of course you have hera in am i alone now. such a big big universe etc. #when she betrays that perspective immediately and directly by talking about it through such a narrow personal framework #one of the most direct examples of 'big picture' thinking vs. personal connection in that contradiction. but that's another post maybe.

[yoruiichii]

and another thing about qijiu is like -

anytime shen (jiu) qingqiu gets into an "altercation" its like:

yqy, thinking: what happened? i need to know from him what happened so i can protect him from the consequences, no matter what it was and no matter how much he might be blamed. and what would have happened if i wasn't there to do so? before, he paid the price for things that were my fault, and last time i left him- (guilt spiral, etc.)

yqy aloud: what did you do?

shen jiu, hearing this, thinking: he thinks i'd do that? how low is his opinion of me really? does he truly think there are no depths to which i wouldn't sink? and i thought it couldn't be lower. so quick to blame me and ignore anyone else's part in this. so quick to distance himself from his sordid past.

shen jiu, aloud: i'm sure it makes no difference to you.

choose your fighter: yqy's unconditional devotion and inability to communicate vs. shen jiu's self-loathing making him interpret it as disinterest and blame (and also his inability to communicate)

#svsss #shen jiu #yue qingyuan #qijiu #and the worst (best) part of this all is that if they could actually have a conversation where they communicate this #shen jiu would probably be really into the unconditional devotion thing #for someone who feels so isolated and unloved #to be told no matter how deep a hole he finds himself in or how he got there yqy will still care is like. a fundamental change in worldview #(though i think sj's self-loathing might first lead him to think that there SHOULD be conditions to caring about him) #(which ofc leads to more 79 conflict) #and weve also seen that generally if sj orders him to not do something yqy follows that directive #so this could work out so well #BUT because 79 is 79 this is basically impossible #if they actually had a conversation about this it would be more like #yqy: i want to know from qingqiu what happened. #sj: so you think i'm the kind of person that would do all of this? is your opinion of me that low? #yqy: no! what shidi has done doesn't matter #sj: it doesn't matter? i see. #sj: sect leader must act as censure for the entire sect. perhaps he might speak to the other involved party next time. #yqy: ...this one has failed you. #and then sj leaves the conversation thinking yqy's a liar and a hypocrite #and yqy leaves subsumed in even more guilt #and then when yqy changes his behavior and doesnt ask/blame sj immediately after an incident #sj is like: oh. he doesn't care? he's given up? he's really distancing himself now. #[rattles the bars of my cage] 79 MAKE ME INSANE #miscommunication as the basis for conflict can be annoying but 79 does it perfectly #as the miscommunication is based on differing inherent ways of understanding/interacting with others #and can absolutely not be solved in a single conversation #anyways sorry for the tags being longer than the actual post

[u5an5]

Am I the only one that every time I get myself into new fandom I just sigh, knowing fully well that I just got next 20+ x reader, y/n, x Oc!whateverthefuck or just any form of self insert tags to blacklist?

#as aegosexual its specific kind of hell #“i dont have problem with smut (for me other forms of fics too but its just preferences) as long as IM not part of it” is #quite literally a definition. im physically incapable of reading those without having imagining that instead of y/n there #is ANY character that appears in lore its based on and feel the urge to put it into google docs and “correct” it just so im actually able t #enjoy it. not that selfinsert is anything fundamentally bad. i just treat it sort of like kink that i don't understand #i dont want to understand and DEFINITELY don't want to see it #tldr: i need to blacklist way more fnaf movie related tags than i ever wanted to #and finding them all is harder than you think #last time i had to add TEN SEPARATE TAGS #for ONE person #aegosexual #ace struggles #banning y/n from appearing in post itself doesn't work that well cause day/night exists #acespec #I JUST WROTE 'aego'... in tags and got THREE SEPARATE PROPOSITIONS of self insert #WHY

[2hoothoots]

because i'm predictable, what're bobby and chloe up to in the villain au? or how's the dynamic between sam and dogen since he's taken psychoisolation to the extreme?

Bobby's in a pretty similar position to the regular timeline - at least, at first glance. he's overworked and underpaid, constantly crunching to try and keep on top of the ever-growing mountain of paperwork his superiors keep handing down to him.

but i think the trajectory of his character looks pretty different? he never really met Raz at Whispering Rock. he never got humbled by him, never had to suffer the embarrassment of his spot as top dog being yanked away by some new kid... but he also never really got to go through a lot of the character growth from their ensuing rivalry? he's definitely mellower than he was as a kid, but he's got a lot of unresolved issues bubbling under the surface - anger problems, poor self-esteem, a tendency to lash out at authority figures...

he still really believes in the work he's doing, and wants the Psychonauts to be the force for good he knows they can be. but he's carrying a growing burden of stress and exhaustion, stuck in a toxic work environment that's more likely to change him (or just make him snap) than he is to change it.

his only real friend at the Motherlobe is Chloe. Chloe is... well! again, first-glance, not that much has changed. she works the same job in the Motherlobe's engineering and aerospace department, and she still gets to pursue her childhood fascination with space.

but the harsher work culture and the more pragmatic, efficient environment have exacerbated some of her less personable traits. she's blunt, rude, and almost fanatically devoted to her work, to the exception of basically everything else. her workplace safety standards are lax, and her ethics laxer. she'd sell the Psychonauts out for one corn chip if she thought it'd get her better funding for her pet projects

#my thesis is that Raz and Bobby made each other worse and then better #in this timeline Bobby never hit those lows. but he also never got to grow past them and develop as a person #he /hates/ vau Raz. but it's more as this faceless proxy for everything he hates about the Psychonauts #Raz barely even knows he exists. #Chloe and Bobby are still good buds! and maybe on-again off-again something more #but they're both too... (gestures vaguely) to really hold down a stable relationship as they are now #Chloe also never gets to meet Mirtala in this version of events #and she never gets to have that kind of uncomplicated deeply loving friendship with another kid her age #and among other things she's fundamentally much less well-adjusted because of it #but then isn't everyone in this au lol #villains au #SAM AND DOGEN is good also... i need to chew over that one more #much to think about #but i wanted to draw bobby today so here he is

[rororow]

to me mike is a guy who is inherently selfless but woke up one day at like age 5 and decided to be selfish and has done his level best to commit

#the interaction he had with chance where he instantly promised his help in saving cole #even though he knew it wasn't strategically smart and no one would support him in it #and he kind of immediately regretted it but refused to back down or give up #that interaction fundamentally changed how i think about mike walters as a person #he's so insistent from day one that he's horrible and selfish and purely driven by his own desires for power and knowledge #but when he acts first thinks later we get a glimpse of such a different mike walters and it's fascinating #and to be clear i'm not saying he's secretly not selfish at all he's never done anything horrible for self-serving reasons ever in his life #just that it feels like a choice he's making #he wakes up every day and decides to be selfish and that's so interesting of him #mike walters #w.bg

[pissfizz]

I remember why I stopped reading this fic oh my god

#Yamaguchi would not ‘flirt with anything (sentient or not)’ he would not say ‘oh honey’ he would not be oblivious to how Tsukishima feels #YOU FUNDAMENTALLY MISUNDERSTAND EVERYRHING ABOUT HIS VERY SIMPLE CHARACTER #look as a yama fan I encourage expanding his character right #but in canon. his character is 1. social anxiety personified 2. a dork 3. kind of snarky 4. a follower and 5. Tsukki’s number one fan #also 6. very fucking passionate and determined #he can be expanded upon a lot both with canon facts and wih hcs #but more than anything he would NEVER be confident enough to flirt much less with anything possible #he also is literally the personification of loyalty he isn’t the type to do that anyway he finds one person and sticks to them #as seen with Tsukki and even yachi since it’s hinted he likes her (whom he NEVER FLIRTS WITH BTW) #he would not be sassy confident type to say ‘oh honey you are so fuxking dumb’ #he’s a dick but he’s not a to the face dick he’s a behind the back dick. and he usually laughs at what Tsukki says not makes the comments #and he’d NEVER SAY HONEY LIKE THAT THATS JUST NOT HIM #AND HED NEVER FUCKING BE OBLIVIOUS TO HOW TSUKISHIMA FEELS TSUKKI IS HIS GUY HIS BESTEST FRIEND EVER #idc if it’s not a ship fic about them you have to understand no matter what they’re a set and they care about each other more than anyone #regardless of the type of relationship they will never be the types to not notice when the other is suffering #sorry. i am passionate about people mischaracterizing them

[wild-at-mind]

Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.

#i love her but none of it makes any sense to me #i think i really just wanted her to see that this kind of rhetoric is no good if you're fundamentally unable to see yourself as having valu #to a community- which is where i'm still at sometimes unfortunately. #i would say that i may not be the only one since mental illness + self esteem issues + being lgbtq are not exactly unlinked #but i have basically never found anyone else who has my particular hangups...maybe online once ages ago #so in my own mind i'm the most assimilist lgbtq who ever existed- not even worthy to call myself queer #and it's nice that she thinks i am not like that and in fact am 'one of the good ones' #who is not assimilist- look i know that 'one of the good ones' usually means the opposite ok i know! it's just an impression i get #she's like telling me obviously i'm all good because i look like i do but all i can hear is #that if i didn't look like this then i'm an assimilist #i fucking hate my brain honestly no one asked me to have a mental breakdown at their house (thank god i didn't cry) #and then go home and that's when i cry because i saw a trans guy's 'this many years on t' post and i felt like shit because #i haven't done anything about transitioning in ages and i'm not even out at work :'( #like i know i'm an assimilist because my main reason for not coming out at work is not wanting to do the beaurocracy #of changing my name on my email and every fucking log in i have on everything- telling every single person i interact with #i just can't it's too much and my line manager is worse than useless #but i have 'my job is computer and doing emails all day' privilege so i don't like to talk to people about it

[commsroom]

i think there's something to be said about what exactly it means to be "non-human" in a story that is as much about humanity as wolf 359 is, where even the dear listeners are defined less by their own perspective and more by what they fail to understand and therefore reflect about the human perspective - to the point that they don't even have their own voices or faces or identities that aren't either given to them or taken from humans. they speak to humanity as a mirror.

even pryce and cutter are "very much humans" - pryce defined by her resentment of and desire to transcend its limitations, and cutter by his aspirations to redefine and create a "better" type of human - and find the idea that they might not be human laughable. it's interesting that they have distinctly transhumanist aspirations when their goal is the narrative opposite of common science fiction fears: that we will expand the definition of humanity so much that we'll lose whatever it is that makes us human. pryce and cutter's transhumanism narrows the definition of humanity to the worthy and the useful, as defined by them; "there will still be a humanity; it'll just be our humanity."

in direct opposition to that, i think it's meaningful that the show instead expands the definition of humanity in ways that include lovelace and hera, who in another show with different themes might be considered (in the descriptive, non-moralistic sense) non-human. i will always make a point of saying that personhood and humanity are two often-related but meaningfully distinct concepts, especially when talking about sci-fi and fantasy. i am talking about humanity.

the question of how hera identifies, and what social pressures influence that, is a complicated one. i've talked about it before and i will talk about again. what's important for the purposes of this post is that i think the show considers her fundamentally human. think about her role in shut up and listen - consider jacobi's lion example and the concept of different paradigms - that even things that are close to humans, comparatively speaking, understand the world in different ways. whatever differences hera may have from the others, it's primarily in experience, not fundamental understanding. she shares their emotions, their concerns, their values, their thought patterns. she has an appreciation for music, which the show considers a hallmark of humanity. she fits within the framework of humanity as the show defines and is, in her own words, left feeling "uneasy" about how difficult it might be to communicate with beings who don't. and it's significant that this takes place in shut up and listen, of all episodes, specifically because the way she is clearly and unambiguously included in the show's understanding of what it means to be human highlights the ways she and lovelace are othered by eiffel's careless comments that suggest otherwise.

(i don't want to get too into these details for this particular post, but it's worth noting that hera will refer to 'humans' as a category, often when she is upset and feeling isolated, but has never said that she 'isn't human' - she has never been upset that people are treating her 'too' human. i've seen it said about the line "you need to get it through your heads that what goes for you doesn't always go for me", but that's a frustration related to ability and safety, not identity. far more often, she will refer to herself in 'human' terms - referring idiomatically to experiences or body parts etc. that she doesn't literally have - and is upset primarily with comments referring to her status as an AI. it does not diminish how being an AI influences her perspective and experience, but again, so much of that is in terms of ability that it feels almost inseparable from a discussion about disability.)

lovelace's humanity and hera's humanity are so interlinked and directly paralleled in the text that i think it's impossible to really argue one of them is "not" human without making implications about the other. in desperate measures, lovelace tells kepler he's "not human" and he responds "you're hilarious. on a multitude of levels." later, defending lovelace against kepler's repeated dehumanization, hera very pointedly uses the phrase "that woman." in out of the loop, hera says she's never met anyone who "worked so hard at being inhuman" as jacobi, who says "what do you know about being human?" hera very emphatically responds, "i know plenty." later, defending hera against jacobi's repeated dehumanization, minkowski pointedly uses the phrase "that woman." with the care taken towards language and the way scenes and turns of phrase will parallel each other, that's not a coincidence. it might seem strange to have the "non-human" characters be the ones to express criticisms based on perceived "humanity" (something hera will do in other contexts as well - "we don't have funerals for animals" etc.) but in the broader context of the show, i think it's the point.

so, whether hera would ever call herself human, or be comfortable with that, is a complicated question for another time and depends on a lot of other factors. but wolf 359 is a show about humanity, it includes her within its definition of what it means to be human, and i wouldn't be comfortable definitively saying she's not human because of that. it can't be a neutral statement within the particular context of this show.

#wolf 359 #w359 #hera wolf 359 #there are so many concepts here that could be posts on their own #but this is already too long. sorry. #i think it's also worth noting how often i see the discussion of hera and humanity conflated with the discussion of #whether hera would want a body and while i think there's some degree of influence in that. if she has human experiences without human form #there's something uniquely isolating about that that could influence her decision. BUT. the form she exists or doesn't exist in #is separate from whether the show includes her within its 'in group' of humanity. which thematically it does. #hera can be considered equally human without ever having any type of physical form. that's part of expanding the definition #and i think that's an important distinction. #anyway sorry i'm kind of passionate about this it just. doesn't quite sit right with me i guess #in a lot of cases i think it's important to acknowledge that non-human characters have different experiences from human ones and #a lot of science fiction will (or should) decentralize the human experience. but it's core to the themes of wolf 359. it's different. #i think hera is so interesting as a take on the 'human AI' character because. the mistake a lot of them make is having a character #'learn how to be human' and it feels patronizing. but hera is. a fundamentally human person who has been told she isn't #and internalized that. and i think that's much more complex and. well. human. i know she's just a fictional character but #i can't help but feel a little defensive sometimes #it's also part of a larger discussion but feeling inhuman is a not uncommon human experience. it is within those bounds

[soullessjack]

okay last post before I conk out cuz it’s 6am now but like. Why does the fandom ignore Jacks canon anger issues. Like we all saw the scene where he was so enraged by someone’s death that he consciously attempted to strangle Maggie’s assumed killer, roughly threw Cas aside for intervening and couldn’t snap out of it until Dean fired shots into his back and made him aware of his behavior. We all saw that right. Why do you guys keep Steven Universe-ifying him

#pick a form of ableism and run with it already Jesus Christ #if he isn’t physically a baby he just has the personality of one I guess #yes he is extremely kind and caring and sweet and empathetic and full of love absolutely 100% #bashing my skull in when will you people realize his overt kindness and robotic politeness are literally a masking performance #to be good and normal and nonthreatening and lovable and acceptable #and to repress the parts of him that are fundamentally unlovable and evil and literally biologically of the devil #when will you see his character with nuance !!! god save us #spn #supernatural #jack kline #spn 13x23 #I think #yeah it is #spn season 13 #exodus #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #tfw2.0 #team free will 2.0 #spn fandom #‘he can’t handle scary things’ BITCH HE /IS/ SCARY THINGS . HE IS OBJECTIVELY TERRIFYING TO HIMSELF AND OTHERS AROUND HIM !!!!!!! #anyways byeee good night #praying I don’t sleep till noon <3

[dreampearls]

colleis personality functionally being left to the ether because her webtoon iteration is at such fundamental odds with her game iteration that any attempts to temper between the two just range so dramatically

#each collei is a beautiful macrocosmic specimen to be analyzed in its own right #i do think the best and most canon-adherent way to reconcile between the two though is to recognize her emulation of amber #in both personality and appearance #as pretty much an explicitly canon thing if albeit exclusive to the game #& while i think it was meant to be a like. cute moeblob marketing strat and not a genuine extension of how she might develop #post black fire incident #it does tie really well into the webtoon establishing collei's fundamental lack of self identity & her pathological need to assume a Role #as per lee @haidengjie's dissertation: shes always either the unclean or the plague or the villain. shes never just collei #the last time she was seen as purely just Collei was also the last time she ever heard her mothers voice.... #and ever since she has been denied the opportunity to exist even as a person w basic human rights #shes never been allowed to be simply just a child let alone herself #amber befriending collei for who she is & demonstrating she sees her more than just some street rat (who had KILLED TWO DIPLOMATIC ENVOYS #NONETHELESS) & insisting she would never abandon her #just changed. everything. for the first time there was no role to play no stage no script #the curtains fell... god i still love that scene Collei is just trying so hard to play the villain and amber obstinately refuses to let her #insisting that they are both friends and equals and wholeheartedly believing in collei's capacity for good and kindness #ITS SOOO INTERESTING BECAUSE OF COURSE AS SOON AS COLLEI LEARNS SHE DOESNT HAVE TO PLAY A ROLE #SHE'LL STILL SCRAMBLE NONETHELESS FOR A NEW ONE BECAUSE ITS ALL SHES EVER KNOWN #SO OF COURSE SHE WOULD TAKE UP THE ROLE OF AMBER!!!!!!! *WALKSINTO A LARGE PIT #god im still upset about windblume though they contextualized her amber roleplay as a coping mechanism #not for her identity issues or general ptsd but instead this like. palatable relatable version of social anxiety #which dont get me wrong i do adore and relate to that aspect of colleis character a lot but its coming from a framework that completely #disregards her personality from her source material and it really just feels like a flanderization to appear more marketable #Okay i have homeowrk to do byebye

[comebackali]

me and the parasocial relationship between the people who say "do not tag as ship" and then continue to... not block me as i continue to tag their shit as ship. we are gonna kiss??

#in all reality it's probably because their big enough blogs that simply don't have the time to check every tag that comes across their stuf #but it's like... not even just one person it's so many #are they all just the busiest bees? cannot be bothered to check if people are listening to their decrees? #it seems like the kind of people making decrees would also be the kind of people who would want to follow up? #to make sure people are following the decrees lest they get the chop(/block) #otherwise why say it at all?? if there's no consequences or follow up? #idk maybe that's the point? maybe the king simply says whatever they want with not a care for if the peasants are actually doing it #i clearly i do not understand the 'don't tag as ship people' we have a fundamental difference of understanding #but they fascinate me #makes no sense; compels me tho

[itspileofgoodthings]

see i have all these spicy takes in the drafts that i don’t post out of self-restraint but then i see a spicy take that i hate SO MUCH and then i want to post mine out of revenge. it’s a terrible cycle tbh.

#it is actually and fundamentally not good for my weaknesses to be here lol #but I also love it! And love the community and the support and don’t find a ready-made replacement for that in real life #so yeah. I wrestle with it #if I could always use it as an opportunity to practice charity and restraint and shutting up it would be a good thing #but I have to be careful with any known potential irritant because I have such a temper and get so genuinely pissed off so easily #while also having poor impulse control #and like. it isn’t fair of me to be out there baiting people with my opinions and being provoking with takes I know will be upsetting #to the circle in which I move on here #but I also love to say a thing I think is true or feel is true and talking my way into a more nuanced opinion is how I do it! #but also like. the simple truth is that it also isn’t kind or charitable or necessary most of the time #no matter how I try to dress it up with comments on my personality and how I learn/like to analyze things #I really wrestle with it. there was a part of me that so at peace when I was gone from tumblr (essentially) for half a year #but again. I missed it #teaching helps a lot. my personality can take the very age-appropriate obnoxiousness and idiocy that comes with talking about literature #to teenagers #but I’m kind of so over trying to have a nuanced conversation online #it’s just so hard. I need the body language and the one to one you can only have in person for certain conversations #and disagreements. tbh it’s better and kinder and just BETTER if i stay out of it online #but I never do it perfectly #I’m just rambling. But yeah #thanks for listening #this has been #3 text posts in a row with Maria

[cruelsister-moved2]

i like refrain from commenting on this but its getting to a point where i see it daily so listen i cant think of a nice way to say this sorry 😭 but if this is you then with all love now is probably not the moment in your life to start going by a hebrew name and changing ur icon to a magen david on a pride flag and starting a blog called journeying-to-hashem. and i say this with love for you like i think people are too worried to say something in case theyre gatekeeping but the fact is this type of thing is going to seriously negatively impact any future experience you do have - or on the other equally valid hand make it very difficult for you to realise that this may not be the right step for you at this point in time.

if you genuinely feel that every rabbi you meet is "super bigoted and weird" then (without judging you bc idk you and maybe you are just surrounded by dozens of homophobic rabbis and there's nothing antisemitic at all behind this statement) it could be that... joining the community they represent is not right for you, even if only at this point in time in your current location, and your tumblr experience is giving you the warped impression that its all nonbinary people in trad-egal minyans which is not going to be the case in almost any irl community so you will feel let down by all of them which unfair to both yourself and them (i.e my first point)

#and i keep meeting like 15 year olds irl who do this um #imscared 😭 but like they always come twice and then disappear when they realise its not just reblogging a picture of a pomegranate #this is one of like three phenomena that are making me seriously consider leaving tumblr bc seeing it every day is like #great so im just going to get pissed off again for no reason #thats a fake url i made up so sorry if thats someones url #and not @ this specific person its just very on the nose #also just feels representative of the wider death of community thinking in the young online community lol #sometimes you have to enter into community with people whose views dont 100% line up with yours #but are like fundamentally good and kind people. and if you actually listen to them and treat them as equals you may find that not only are #they open to your point of view on some things but you might find yourself learning from them as well #crazy rite..