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clowny-frankhie · 3 days

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Hi strangers! I 'm currently going on a Disney movie marathon for the 3rd part of my RIDV AU fic, so here are some incorrect quotes while you wait.

Tags: @demodemo909, @imtryingandtired, @missmannequin.

(Thank you guys so much for showing appreciation for the dumb Disney Villains AU I made on a whim, and I hope these even dumber incorrect quotes can entertain you while waiting on the next part!)

Warning: The usual, cursing, OOC, and itty bitty inappropriate jokes. Also, it's long, like, really long. I had too much fun with these quotes, and it shows.

Hey hey! Life in the Villain house! Oh yeah! Life in the Villain house! Reader! Life in the Villain house!~

(If you understood this reference, I am both sorry and not sorry at the same time)

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*Disney Villains suddenly appearing before you*

You : I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.

——————————————————————————————

Gaston: Our dear host is playing hard to get.

Gaston: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

——————————————————————————————

You : *Venting endlessly to Hades about your week*

Hades, every once in a while: *In a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

——————————————————————————————

You: Wake up! The sun is shining!

Cruela: What do you want me to do, photosynthesis?

——————————————————————————————

Gaston: I love you.

You: How many people have you said that to?

Gaston: Everyone.

You: What?

Gaston: I told everyone that I love you.

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You: Look guys, I need help.

Ursula: Love help?

Hades: Financial help?

Captain Hook: Emotional help?

Oogie Boogie: Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Oogie Boogie*

Oogie Boogie: What?

——————————————————————————————

You, to Jafar: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?

——————————————————————————————

You: Why do you keep a diary?!

Captain Hook: To keep secrets from your computer.

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You, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Maleficent: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Oogie Boogie: Personally, I think I was made in a lab.

Hades: I just straight up spawned, lol.

——————————————————————————————

Gaston: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

——————————————————————————————

Captain Hook: *Slowly pushes a 17th-century cannon into a modern bank* Okay, everyone, be calm. This is a robbery.

——————————————————————————————

Oogie Boogie: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

——————————————————————————————

You: All of your existences are confusing.

The villains: How so?

You: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you guys upsets me.

——————————————————————————————

You: As a responsible adult-

The villains: *snickers*

You: ... As a responsible adult—

——————————————————————————————

You: I don't like bugs. Oogie Boogie, are you even listening to me?

Oogie Boogie: I seem to have misplaced some of my bugs.

You, at Hades (aka your personal flame thrower): HAADDDEEEESSSSS!!!

——————————————————————————————

*Talking on the phone*

Hades: Remember how I said that the gang and I were gonna have a calm night out for once?

You: ... Yeah?

Hades: Well, we’re in jail.

You: *Hangs up*

——————————————————————————————

Hades: *Gets set on fire and screams in agony*

Hades: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me. Literally.

——————————————————————————————

You: Something tells me Oogie Boogie's going to be a bit more unhinged today...

*Meanwhile, in the villain house*

Oogie Boogie, holding a lit match and a bag of cheetos: Leave me be, the host isn't home to stop me, I'm going feral.

——————————————————————————————

You: COMPANY IS COMING! I WANT THIS PLACE LOOKING LIKE DISNEY ON ICE IN ONE MINUTE!

You: GASTON IF YOU HAVEN'T MADE YOUR BED THROW IT AWAY IT'S TOO LATE TO MAKE IT NOW!

You: GET RID OF THE COUCHES, WE CAN'T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE S I T !

——————————————————————————————

A complete stranger, looking at the disney villains who are experiencing and interacting with the outside world for the first time: Those guys look like a problem...

You: Yes, but they’re my problem.

——————————————————————————————

You, looking at the villains: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

——————————————————————————————

Captain Hook, drowning in crocodile infested waters: Help me host!

You: Don't worry, I heard cowards float.

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Grimhilde: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

You: It was autocorrect.

Grimhilde: Autocorrect wrote, "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

You: Yes.

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You, talking to the villains: As you know, I keep a list of all of you in order of how likely they are to betray me.

Oogie Boogie: Where am I on the list?

You: Well, I can’t tell you that because then you’ll quickly move up or down depending on your reaction.

——————————————————————————————

Gaston: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Grimhilde is walking in this room.

You: *Wheezes*

——————————————————————————————

You: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

You: *Aggressively throws water bottles*

Hades: Uh... What's up with them?

Jafar: They're trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

You, aggressively shouting: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!

Captain Hook, crying: It's working.

——————————————————————————————

Gaston: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.

You: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

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Dr. Facilier: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor, and it ain't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Dr. Facilier, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win, you should have tried not being poor.

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Scar: I prevented a murder today.

You: Really? That’s amazing! How did you do that?

Scar: Self-control.

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You: Holy shit, Hades, do you know what this means?!

Hades: Babes, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.

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Gaston, throwing their head into you lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

You, unphased and stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

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Gaston: Why don’t they find me sexy when I bite my lip?

Hades: What do you look like when you bite your lip?

Gaston: *Bites lip*

Hades: ... Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?

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You: *Fills up bottle and drinks from that*

Jafar: *Brought 4 bottles of water so this wouldn’t happen*

Shan Yu: *Drinks straight from the tap*

Hades: *Dehydrates*

Scar: *Drinks from the puddle of water on the floor*

Oogie Boogie: *Licks the tap, doesn’t even need a drink*

——————————————————————————————

Dr. Facilier: *Looks over your shoulder and at your laptop* What the fuck?

You: *Slams screen shut* It’s just research! For something I’m writing about! I swear that’s it!

Dr. Facilier: Why the hell would that involve the breeding habits of frogs?

You: It’s not just “frogs”, it’s the Surinam Toad. And it’s not “breeding habits”, it’s how they raise their young. This is important information my audience needs to know!

Dr. Facilier: That doesn’t change the fact this is for one line in a fanfiction.

You, offendedly: You don’t know that!

Dr. Facilier: I don't hear no denial.

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You: I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon.

Grimhilde: That’s true, but it also smells like fire and panic.

You: Hades and the smoke detector need to get off my case.

——————————————————————————————

Hades, grinning: Before you were what?

Maleficent: Before I was-

Hades: What?

Maleficent: Before I was inter-

Hades: Before you were interrupted?

Maleficent: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll-

Hades: What?

Maleficent: *Makes a frustrated sound*

You, nervously laughing: Ahahaha, please stop that before she turns into a dragon and burns my house down.

——————————————————————————————

*The normal looking villains walking at the mall*

Dr. Facilier: Hey, have any of y'all seen our host? They’ve been gone for a while..

Grimhilde, not the least bit concerned: No, we have not.

Shan Yu : I haven’t...

Cruela: They probably just ran off to the McDonald’s or something.

You: Hey.

Captain Hook: Oh, there they are-

Gaston: What the-

Jafar: I- where were you?!

You: ... Walking right behind you guys.

——————————————————————————————

Gaston: Well, remember when our host made a romantic dinner for me?

Hades: Gaston, they microwaved you a pizza.

——————————————————————————————

Shan Yu: Someone will die...

You: Of fun!

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You: Could you be anymore annoying?

Oogie Boogie: Yes.

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You: Oogie Boogie, you can do anything!

Oogie Boogie: Anything?

You: Anything!

Oogie Boogie, holding a torch: ANYTHING?!?!

You: Wait, not that!

——————————————————————————————

Gaston, playing a video game for the first: This thing is so frustrating! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

You: Ok, I think it’s time to turn off the game for a little while.

Gaston: But I’m having fun!

——————————————————————————————

Gaston: *Gasp*

You: wHAT??

Gaston: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?

You: *Inhales*

Cruela, in another room with Ursula: Why can I hear screeching?

——————————————————————————————

Dr. Facilier: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life.

You: Please never become a surgeon.

——————————————————————————————

You: I was arrested for being too cool.

Jafar: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

——————————————————————————————

Dr. Facilier: Damn, the power went out.

You: Don’t worry, I got this.

You: *Stomps foot*

Dr. Facilier: What-?

You: *Sketchers light up*

——————————————————————————————

You: What do you have?

Oogie Boogie: A KNIFE!

You: NO!

——————————————————————————————

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.

You: Which one? I have twelve.

Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.

You: Which one? I have twelve.

Gaston, distantly: HEY!!!

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Scar: Given the circumstances, I will let you hug me for four to five seconds.

You: Forty five seconds?!?

Scar: No! I said four TO five seconds.

You, hugging Scar: Too late.

——————————————————————————————

Shan Yu: I have an army.

You: We have Oogie Boogie.

——————————————————————————————

*The villains playing Among Us*

Jafar: I believe Shan Yu is innocent, I was with him the whole time. Oogie Boogie, what were you doing?

Oogie Boogie: Oh, I was just murdering-… I mean, nothing!

——————————————————————————————

Grimhilde: When we get back, I'm going to step on you!

You: Okay, as much as I might enjoy that, Your highness–

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Jafar: Who would you kill out of the four of us, Hades?

Hades: Gaston, easily.

Gaston, confused: What, why??

Hades: Well, cuz I hate you, and the host would be too easy. They’d probably be into it.

You, standing in the doorway with the most bewildered expression: What the fuck man!?

——————————————————————————————

You: I think it’s time I get my life in order.

Dr. Facilier, narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

——————————————————————————————

*Scar hears about you bringing home a stray cat.*

Scar, sarcastically: I can't believe there's another cat somewhere in this house. Amazing feeling. Love that. And it's here, in this house! Somewhere! And I may encounter it! What a treat...

——————————————————————————————

*The female villains after watching The Wizard of Oz*

Grimhilde: Where the devil is Maleficent?

Ursula: Well, it's raining outside... Maybe they melted?

Cruela: Shall I look outside for a pointy set of horns?

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Hades: Any idiot would know that.

Gaston: I knew that!

Hades: See?

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Scar: I'm not lazy, I just find it hard to put effort into things I'm not passionate about.

You: What are you passionate about?

Scar: Sleeping.

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Gaston: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world.

Grimhilde: Thank you for your sacrifice, Gaston.

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You: If I see a bug, I'll simply leave the room elegantly and have Hades to do something about it.

You: And if he doesn't fulfill my wish, I simply never go back in there.

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Dr. Facilier, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

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You: I haven't seen Gaston and Hades for fifteen minutes now.

*Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Gaston and Hades running after it in a panic. You don't look outside at all.*

You: That probably means they're getting into trouble.

——————————————————————————————

You: Go to hell!

Hades: Where do you think I come from?

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Oogie Boogie: People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up a room.

You: It’s called arson, and those people are called witnesses.

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Dr. Facilier: What are y’all’s favorite things to wake up to?

Grimhilde: Breakfast in bed.

You: Emails from AO3!

Shan Yu: My favorite thing to wake up to is not waking up at all.

Shan Yu: The screams of my enemies are a close second, though.

——————————————————————————————

You: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment... At all?

Gaston: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

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Oogie Boogie: Treat bugs the way you want to be treated!

You: Killed without hesitation.

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Captain Hook, recently learned modern swears: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!

You: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Captain Hook: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

You: Somehow, that's worse.

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Maleficent: We all have our demons...

You, grabbing Oogie Boogie: This one’s mine!

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Shan Yu: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

You: Those are wanted posters!

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Captain Hook: So, what's for dinner?

You, staring at the food you burnt: Regret.

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Gaston: So, I've been thinking-

You: Again?? That's dangerous.

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Hades: Why would you do that?

You: Because I feel guilty.

Maleficent: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.

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You: *Eating a cinnamon roll*

Oogie Boogie: Cannibalism.

You: *Confused chewing noises*

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*At the supermarket*

Captain Hook: All right, the last item on the list is "virgin oil."

Captain Hook:

Captain Hook: Wow. Imagine being an item and still being called a virgin.

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You: What’s your body count?

Captain Hook: Do you mean sex or murder?

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You: *Is wearing silk pants* How does this look?

Cruela: Like its slips on and off really easily.

You:

Cruela: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Ursula: We know what you meant.

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You: Bonjour, Dr. Facilier. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Dr. Facilier: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

You: ... Is that what that means??

——————————————————————————————

You: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts!

Gaston, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack,

You, deadpanning at Gaston: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.

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Jafar: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.

Hades: Wow, I've gotta hear this.

Jafar: I was angry and envious of my neighbor, so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.

Hades: You forgot pride.

Jafar: No, I'm pretty proud of this.

——————————————————————————————

Maleficent: Our dear host annoyed me today, so I told them that I can’t wait for them to see what I had planned for our special day tomorrow.

Scar: There is nothing special about tomorrow.

Maleficent: But there is something special about watching the color leave their face as panic takes over.

——————————————————————————————

You: You’re all insane!

The villains: Sure we are, what’s your point?

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Gaston: I want you to be with me for the rest of your life.

You: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal... A really one-sided one.

Gaston, getting down on one knee: That's because it is.

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You, admiring and petting a sleeping Scar: You’re so cute.

Scar, sleepily: I could tear you limb from limb with my bare fangs.

You, lovingly: I know.

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Oogie Boogie: *Writing a letter*

Oogie Boogie: Dear Sandy Claws,

I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...

And it was worth it, you fat, judgemental bastard.

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You, dealing with the villains: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

——————————————————————————————

*You are cleaning the house, and you find an empty bottle of orange juice*

You: Clear orange juice?

You: Oh, it's empty.

Most of the villains, who had been watching the entire time: We live with an idiot. We live with an idiot. We live with an idiot.

——————————————————————————————

Scar: Our relationship is strictly professional.

You, brushing Scar's mane as he lays his head on your lap: Absolutely. Only business.

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All the female villains: We're not like other girls. We're way, way worse.

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Captain Hook: There. How do I look?

Dr. Facilier: Like a cheap French harlot.

Captain Hook: French?!

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Shan Yu, towering over you and glaring down at you: I could kill you if I wanted to little host.

You absolutely done with his bs: Oh yeah? Well, guess what. So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

——————————————————————————————

Hades: Some people say that I have a god complex. I’d like to think that I’m a complex god.

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You: Captain, you're drunk.

Captain Hook: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, my dear host.

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Jafar: There’s always that one weak individual within the group who isn’t down with murder.

Jafar: *Glares at you*

You: ... Well sorry I have morals!

——————————————————————————————

Shan Yu, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-

Dr. Facilier, whispering: Should we call someone?

You, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.

Captain Hook, appalled: Call Maleficent.

——————————————————————————————

Oogie Boogie: Get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost!

You: That’s called murder and I heard somewhere that it's illegal.

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You: You remind me of the ocean.

Ursula: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

You: No, because you're full of salt, and you scare people.

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Oogie Boogie: Something’s off.

You: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.

Oogie Boogie: No, but that’s funny.

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You: What do you call disobeying the law?

The villains: A hobby.

You: *Crosses their arms*

The villains: ... That we do not engage in.

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You: Stop thinking whatever you're thinking.

Gaston: Huh?

You: You always make that face when you're about to say something stupid. So cut it out-

Gaston: I love you.

You:

Gaston:

Gaston: Also, cereal qualifies as a soup.

You: I KNEW IT!!!

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You, extremely touched: Aw, you guys really put aside everything and came all this way for me?

You:

You, confused: How did you even get here so fast??

Cruela: Several traffic violations.

Jafar: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Gaston: Roughly thirteen cans of those energy drinks you like so much.

Dr. Facilier: Also, this aint our car.

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If you made it to this part, then congratulations! You made it through all 101 incorrect quotes! (I know, I counted them myself)

I hope you enjoyed them!

And for those of you who read through all of this and have no idea what you just read, here's Part 1 of the Reverse Isekai Disney Villains AU for context.

Thanks for reading!

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lunarruled · 10 months

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TEN FAVORITE CHARACTERS FROM TEN DIFFERENT FANDOMS!!

These are never in any particular order either!

1. Joshua "Scud" Fromeyer - Blade II 2. Becky Lynch - WWE 3. Ginny Weasley - Harry Potter 4. Rizzo - Grease 5. Ororo Munroe aka Storm - X-Men 6. Imperator Furiosa - Mad Max: Fury Road 7. Richard Messner - Smokin Aces 8. Fox - Wanted 9. Peter Griffin - Family Guy 10. Kenneth "Kenny" McCormick - South Park

Tagged by: @myriadxofxmuses (thank you my tagging bestie!) Tagging: the entire dash now!

#☾ out of fur (ooc)#☾ Dash Games #☾ about the mun #☾ love being tagged in this one!#☾ I can always put ones I forget the last time around!#☾ thank you for tagging me friend!#☾ have fun!#☾ Ruled By the Moon (q)

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hlvrai-stuck-together · 10 months

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...You're really sure they both forgive me for what happened? Cuz I fucked up really badly this time.

I'm sure. It wasn't your fault, Bubby.

...

Well then, I forgive Gordon for stealing my chips that one time too, then. And the dip. And for leaving crumbs all over the couch. And for not washing his damn hands before touching the remote.

I'm surprised you even remember all that, but umm? Thanks?

You're welcome, fucking nasty little sewage boy.

Hey!

*(The fire continues to shrink in size, becoming a much smaller version of what it was before.)*

I have the blanket! Apologies for the holdup, I had forgotten that we had taken the large one with us upstairs last night and had spent a rather lengthy amount of time looking for it down here! Hopefully this can help!

...I may have overestimated the size of the fire. Do you still need the blanket?

Yes, please. Thank you.

*(The large blanket is thrown over the stovetop. Without the fire in the way, the dials behind it become clear- they're all turned off. Dr. Coomer is able to hold onto the blanket with his limb enhancers, and keeps it in place for a moment while they wait.)*

Thank you, Harold. Sorry about the mess.

It's no trouble.

Just maybe let me do the cooking for a little while.

Fine, I can do that.

*(Dr. Coomer lifts the blanket. The fire is gone.)*

#asking bubby #asking player #asking coomer #part 1 #OOC i hope this came across alright! trying to stay in character for this one while also progressing at a good pace was surprisingly hard #um i'm trying not to leave these little notes here because i think leaving stuff in the tags here might break immersion a bit but #idk this got kinda heavy really fast so i wanted to apologize if anything felt weird here #i'm probably only gonna do these at the end of big scenes/sections- like ao3 notes y'know?#bubby is fun but also really difficult to write and he's also grappling with Big Emotions- something he also sucks at communicating #poor [redacted] barely even has a sense of self yet and he's already been thrown into literal fire here #i'm stopping here for the night but the day isn't done yet #thanks to everyone who sent in asks! i hope this was as fun for you as it was me #and to everyone who's been sending me all those kind messages i see you and i love you and i need you to know that. thank you <3 #i'll shut up now but thank you for reading!#st au #stuck together au

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arachnidiots-a · 11 months

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tag 10 people you want to get to know better

favorite color(s): red, blue, yellow (i adore the primary colors) song stuck in your head: paul revere by noah kahan last song you listened to: coralling the blues by colter wall 3 favorite foods: ramen, bread, and oreo ice cream dream trip: maybe something through a ton of national parks? that was a trip i recently wanted to go on but didn't get to. europe would also be nice anything I want rn: don't look at me it's incredibly sappy but i want to slow dance with my partner

tagged by: @inaredflush

tagging: @attercopus @appleyed @cybersbyte @computerlads @fangwebs @h0b1e @novaragno @spiderz0mbie @webdget @webbedaunt

#thanks for the tag!#i love dash games #this was fun and sweet and a nice filler while i work on my blog #RAMBLING NONSENSE / ooc

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xbadnews-a · 9 months

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𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙻𝙻 𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝚄𝚁𝙻 𝚄𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙸𝚃𝙻𝙴𝚂. 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙽 , 𝚃𝙰𝙶 𝙰𝚂 𝙼𝙰𝙽𝚈 𝙿𝙴𝙾𝙿𝙻𝙴 𝙰𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙻𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂 𝙸𝙽 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝚄𝚁𝙻 :

x. xanny - billie eilish

b. breathe ( in the air ) - pink floyd

a. abducted - the land before tim

d. distance - ajj

n. never love an anchor - the crane wives

e. eclipse - pink floyd

w. werewolves of london - warren zevon

s. somebody's watching me - rockwell

tagged by: @stcrforged!!! ( who has great taste in music ) tagging: @stellarhistoria, @stellafortunae, @deathwalkerr, @khenzi, @softersinned, @timewound, @turnedfolkl0re, @cupcakesmuses

#stcrforged #ooc.#dash games.#thank you for tagging me in this it was Super Fun #also if i didn't tag anyone who wants to do this feel free to tag me i love nosing on people's taste in music

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willowdied · 9 months

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spell out your url using song titles. then, tag as many people as there are letters in your url:

W ~ willow-taylor swift I ~ i'm just ken-ryan gosling L ~ leave-once orginal broadway cast recording L ~ losing my mind-eleri ward O ~ our world-36 questions original broadway cast recording W ~ why stay/ a promise-next to normal original broadway cast recording D ~ doomsday-lizzy mcalpine I ~ if i loved you ( reprise )-nerdy prudes must die cast recording E ~ everybody talks-neon trees D ~ drive-the mad ones studio cast recording

tagged by the fantastically talented @whatscanon ! tagging im Late(tm) so if you have not done this yet please steal it and tag me so i can see :)

#i wanted to be on brand and do both of the if i loved you's but i couldn't not do ken #so may i's and l's and yet not enough fuckkkkk #thank you for the tag this was fun :)#( ooc )

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gas-stxtion · 11 months

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@modestmuses said: Playlist! for jerry & viktor for the giggles

(come get ur relationship playlists here besties)

//you fool..... fell right into my trap............. now i have an excuse to finally make a motherfucking jerry & viktor tag. they're so silly.

anyway these songs are just kinda first thoughts. i don't have much backing them up.

cult of dionysus - the orion experience

I'm feeling devious You're looking glamorous Let's get mischievous And polyamorous Wine and women and wonderful vices Welcome to the cult of Dionysus

she's all that - hollywood ending (kind of a jokey one but anyway)

I'm in love with the Geek, the freak, the girl that never wins (So what, so what) I'm in love with the weird, the wild, her rip jeans in her pants (So what, so what) She's doesn't listen to the radio, but she sings along at all my shows I'm in love with the Geek, the freak, the girl that never wins (So what, so what)

your man - josh turner (not so much for the lyrics/vibes but because i can imagine jerry singing this to entertain viktor and i fjkljgghg)

I've been thinking 'bout this all day long Never felt a feeling quite this strong I can't believe how much it turns me on Just to be your man

#you know this whole thing is one big experiment‚ right? and you're the little mouse? {ooc}#the phone is twenty five cents a minute‚ paid in advance‚ no exceptions {answered}#modestmuses #//ALMOST put same old country love song in here #//so consider that an honorary entry #//fun fact my hc post earlier today about jerry being a good singer is because of this fucking ask #//so thank you #i'm in love with the geek‚ the weird‚ the wild {jerry/viktor}#//tentative jerry and viktor tag for now #//cult of dionysus is a good jerry shipping song in general #//but i think it's fun to apply here specifically because viktor is like. your religion is stupid.#//(he's right)

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daz4i · 1 year

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If you had to invent any kind of AU involving Nikolai, what would it be?

ooooooooo probably some performer au! actor or musician, but not a big one. he tends to explore philosophical and deep topics in his works so not a lot of people are into it. the story is more about the struggles of remaining true to yourself vs needing to make a living (yusuke's confidant-esque situation, yknow how it is), and how it affects other aspects of his life like, if he has friends in this setting, how it affects his bond with them to struggle this much and probably not being the most stable in general.

ok putting it more coherently lemme brainstorm it into a proper story (that halfway through i realized is basically a tick tick boom rewrite. i am so sorry. i did try to stray from it i promise) (also this got so long i'm sorry. so under a read more it goes):

nikolai, 26, just wrapped up a solo project he's been working on where he writes, directs, and performs. it's a bit abstract, unclear, and confusing, but he's proud of the result regardless

however, after only 2 nights, the venue tells him his show simply does not pull enough audience so they know he won't be able to keep paying them to rent the place, and that tonight will be his last run

still, he pulls through, finishes the show with a smile, except this time in the end he adds something to the show to... maybe not ruin but kind of vandalize the venue a bit, as his own "fuck you" to them. he acts like it's all a planned part of the show, and the audience indeed eats it up, some of them even asking when they can come see the show again bc "it's so daring! very unique! can't wait to see what you do next!" etc.

but. obviously this gets him in trouble. he's already depressed abt the show getting cancelled, trying hard to find some other place that'll host it (and hopefully for a cheaper price), moping in his dingy apartment, when he gets a call from that venue demanding he pays to fix whatever it is he vandalized or they'll take legal action. so now he's got more shit on his mind

through it all he's obviously very stressed, and when his friends (sigma and fyodor. obvs) try to visit him or call to check on him he's being very short and unpleasant, unable to keep up his upbeat persona

sigma is a bit tired of his shit. i imagine they won't be SUPER close in that universe? sigma is more like his previously close friend from college who somehow made it big and is now rich and busy and therefore has less time for this stuff. still, he offers to help with the money and legal end of things, but nikolai has to ask, and has to be courteous in whatever meetings sigma arranges for him

nikolai, ofc, does not take the offer, bc he doesn't wanna rely on handouts, let alone from his friends. also he has some trust issues and warped perception of what friendship is bc he's nikolai, and he doesn't wanna feel like he owes sigma in the future. he tells sigma he'll take more shifts in [insert job] and figure it out himself

fyodor doesn't mind his behavior too much, but does try to remain logical here and keeps giving nikolai advice on how to fix things which only makes him more upset.

he takes on more shifts, pulls out some money his parents gave him before he left home that he refused to touch, but it's still not quite enough to both make up for the cost of renting the venue, plus fixing it, plus his usual expenses. i think he will have a full on breakdown of some sort here ngl

(couldn't find a place to shove it but since i mentioned usual expenses here^ i imagine he'll start having issues with like. electricity/water/rent for his apartment and such, which will definitely not help his mental state to say the least)

i also feel like sigma might help him behind his back by paying for stuff secretly, bc even tho he's mad, they're still friends. when nikolai finds out he somehow loses his shit even more.

i do want it to have a happy ending tho. so. through his breakdown, nikolai starts writing, and comes up with a new show/new music, and it's really really good, and raw, and real. he doesn't do much with it yet, if it's music/a music based show he might record it, but that's it for now

however! also behind the scenes, fyodor figured out that giving that guy advice is a bit pointless. so instead, he did him a favor in his own way and uploaded footage of his last show - the one that got cancelled at the start - online, and it's a hit! nothing too mainstream, but the people who loved it originally are able to show it to more people, and by now it's gotten popular enough to actually make money

when he tells nikolai about this. he does not take it too well. "why did you do this?? i didn't ask you-" "i know. i didn't do it because you wanted me to. i did it because i thought it was the right thing to do. more people deserve to see your show, and you deserve to have your art seen by more people." and when he gives him some of the money it already made, "why are you giving this to me? is this your plan here? to make money off my work without even asking me?" "for christ's sake kolya, this is your money, your worked for it, all i did was post it for you. all i want here is so you get what you deserve for the work you put in, because i'm your friend." it's a very touching scene :P

eventually nikolai gets it, and he gets why sigma did what he did as well and meets up with him to thank him properly (i'm imagining it as like "let's meet up somewhere! my treat :)" "i'm gonna regret this aren't i" and then he takes sigma to some lame ass fast food place or cheap coffee spot, and sigma is not only touched by the gesture but makes a joke about how refreshing it is to go someplace like that after he got used to all the fancy places he usually has meetings in)

he releases his new stuff - online if it's music, or finding a new place to perform if it's a new show - and while they're still very niche, he develops somewhat of a cult following within other weird ass people, possibly even meeting new friends through that

so, things aren't perfect, but this way he feels like he can continue doing his own thing, and he even if he doesn't make a lot through it to be rich or w/e he can still at least keep his life running, and while he's still not 100% with it he also finds himself able to rely on his friends for help more and open up for others as well uwu

#tagging this bc i like it ngl #bsd nikolai gogol #bungou stray dogs au #ik i'm the very vocal ''omg crazy lonely distrustful nikolai <3'' guy #but. i wanted to give him a happy ending 🧐 even at the cost of possibly being mildly ooc lol #hope you all liked that 👍 i'm never gonna turn this into a fic so feel free to take it and write your own if you wanna (with credit hehe)#(or if you just draw inspo from it somehow simply link it to me i'd love to see what you made 🥺)#dan rambles #fun fact this is the ask that i tried saving and got eaten. i found it :D!#sorry for the very late reply askdjfkgh thank you for the ask annie!!! mwah 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

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enclosedgod · 1 year

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What is your role in a tragic play?

misunderstood villain

prepare for an onslaught of both the most dehumanizing and hateful takes, and flood of thirst comments. you are chronically misunderstood. whether or not you're actually evil is debatable. you may be acting out for revenge, to defend someone you love, or even just to protect yourself. you're a pretty jaded person. you don't trust or even really like most people. maybe you did at one point. but that part of you is gone, and you don't go a single day without grieving it. you think a lot about what your life could have been. you're stuck in the past. you're angry and maybe you don't even want to be, but this is the only way you can see to survive. you're open, but less in a trusting way and more like a wound. you don't like to let people see you, but the hurt spills out of you before you can stop it. you're impulsive, even as you try hard to plan and prepare. maybe someday your side of the story will finally be heard. until then, you can convince yourself that being hated is safer anyway.

Tagged by : @felldragxn

Tagging : @illuminatedgod, anyone who wants to :)

(This is also very accurate for Embla, specifically the part with the part of you being gone that once was not so jaded, that hits HARD)

#( 💢 ) ― Expect nothing in return. : OOC #( 💢 ) ― …Tribute? Hm. : Musings #( 💢 ) ― I have nothing to say to you. : IC . Dash Memes #Grima and Embla are more alike than they may think #oop #Thanks for tagging me!!#This was super fun honestly #I love interactions #I feel bad it took me this long to do it #My bad #If you do this from me #feel free to tag me as the person who tagged you #But only if you want to #Feeling included is important :3c

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ofhope-a · 1 year

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Any advice for rper's who have little fate in their writing ability (there are people who write more words and are more detailed in their writing than them) and want to please practically everyone and want everyone to like them (at least a lot of people)?

Hi anon! I'm sorry for taking an hour to get to this, I wanted to have time to dedicate -- you deserve a, hopefully, coherent answer.

I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to start this with a personal anecdote because I feel like we are, or have been, in the same position. I've always fretted because I don't have a style to my writing; I admire deeply everyone's writing and their ability to tie it back to them... but I didn't have this. I change my writing style for every muse I write. No two replies are of the same quality. It's natural to want people to like what you do, to be able to say 'hey, x wrote that!' and to love it simply because it's yours. However, I have found the best way to combat this feeling is to remember:

Do what makes you happy. I know that gets said a lot, maybe to the point of it being redundant, but this, I've found, is the best way to be comfortable in your ability to write (you do have one, even if you don't feel like it); by doing what you do, and by finding things to love about what you do, you will draw people to you. There will be, are, people that love your writing, even if they are quiet about their praise.

The truth is, we can't help comparing ourselves to others. Competition is engraved into us by either external resources or by those closer to us, who've no idea the ramifications that will come of it. We will always see someone that we feel is better than us in some way, even whenever we think we've healed this aspect of ourselves. It's like an angry little demon that emerges whenever you're at your most confident to drag you down again.

But ask yourself this whenever those moments strike: am I happy doing what I am doing? Was I always ashamed of that reply, or did that only come after being introduced to a wave of negative thoughts?

You're on the exact same pedestal as everyone else. No one is greater, no one is worse. Just as you think highly of them, there's someone out there, many someone's, that think highly of you as well... even if you don't think so.

It isn't how much you write, or how detailed you are. It's about what makes you happy. And I promise you, you being you, and you being proud of what you do and unapologetic in doing so, that'll draw people from near and from far to you - because everyone's work, no matter if it's "obscure," no matter if it's "gotten no likes," no matter if it's "years old and not as good" - there's someone out there that loves it. I've personally thought of many replies I've seen in passing via my dashboard, via me visiting random blogs and seeing a stunning reply or an amazing headcanon post, I've attached characters to people I don't even know simply because of how much they love that character.

People have done the very same for you, too. I promise. ♥

Take it easy on yourself anon, I hope I helped some.

#If anyone else has anything they want to add please feel free to do so!#And thank you for coming to me with this; I appreciate that you trusted me with something like this. It means the world to me. <3 #I hope your weekend is fun; stress-free; and full of love. Take good care of yourself.#specific ooc tag.

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lunarruled · 10 months

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MUSE LIKES // PREFERENCES!!

Tagged by: @myriadxofxmuses (yay thank you so much!) Tagging: Anyone that wants to steal this, go ahead!

★ ⸻ FAVORITE FRUITS: Apples, kiwi, watermelon, bananas

★ ⸻ FAVORITE ACTIVITIES: Stargazing, being out at night, reading, hunting, fixing cars and bikes, learning new skills

★ ⸻ FAVORITE FLOWERS: Black and white roses

★ ⸻ FAVORITE SEASON: Winter

★ ⸻ FAVORITE INSECTS: Butterfly, praying mantis

★ ⸻ FAVORITE ANIMALS: Wolves, dogs, cows, chickens

★ ⸻ FAVORITE GEM: Amber, Garnet, Moonstone

★ ⸻ FAVORITE TIME OF THE DAY: Night and sunrise

#☾ out of fur (ooc)#☾ Dash Games #☾ about Kyleigh #☾ love these ones!#☾ thank you so much for the tag!#☾ have fun with this!

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jeoseungsaja · 2 years

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alex!! ….I got a question for you: is this an accurate representation of hyuk around patrick?

SORRY I JUST….I SAW THIS AND LIKE ITS A MANDARIN DUCK SO OF COURSE IM GONNA THINK OF HYUK ( did I mention that your hc about the mandarin duck being Hyuk’s favorite bc it’s the plushie da-eun gave him has me in PIECES 😭😭😭 ) 🥲 but also pls just imagine, hyuk as a mandarin duck in Patrick’s lap and Patrick is just stroking its head and feathers the way he would cup Hyuk’s cheek and run his fingers thru his hair and I-😭😭😭 I hope it’s okay to send this Alex and pls have a WONDERFUL DAY 🥰

@ofgentleresolve ♚ 🦆🧡💚

♔ ———–

OKAY BUT CAN I MENTION HOW??? HAPPY AND PEACEFUL THE LITTLE DUCK LOOKS??? (POINTS) LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL DUCK FLOATING JOYFULLY, LOOKING LIKE THERE ISN’T A SINGLE THING TO WORRY ABOUT, IF YOU LEAN IN (LIKE I DID) YOU CAN ALMOST SEE A SORT OF SMILE THERE (I’M NOT SURE IF MANDARIN DUCKS HAVE BENDY BEAKS BUT--), IT’S SO WHOLESOME AND PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT YES, YES IT IS, IT IS A SUPER DUPER ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF HYUK AROUND PATRICK BECAUSE:

🟢 Hyuk is content just by seeing his best friend exist 🟢 Patrick stands there and he’s already at ease 🟢 Chances are Hyuk’s hiding a little smile over all those layers of grump 🟢 But also Patrick is one of the few people who’s seen Hyuk genuinely smile/laugh 🟢 He do be a floaty, happy duck alongside his dear friend

ALSO, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR!!! Remembering Hyuk through this, for remembering that headcanon of the plushie (that Patrick has seen ;W;) Da-Eun gave him, BUT IF THAT HAS YOU IN PIECES Y’KNOW WHAT HAS ME IN PIECES RIGHT NOW?? THAT IMAGINE, PATRICK BEING SO GENTLE AND CAREFUL WITH THE DUCK BECAUSE HE CONNECTS IT WITH HYUK 😭 (also the comment you made about Patrick cradling the plushie like he would Hyuk’s cheek plEASE IF YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF SOMETHING AKIN TO FIRECRACKERS, IT’S JUST MY HEART EXPLODING--), but also pls imagine Hyuk’s resting his head on Patrick’s lap instead of the duck as a way to lowkey request hair strokes---I mEAN WIEUDHWEUIDH

I’d also like to contribute to the mandarin duck pictures with:

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS IN, IT WAS SO LOVELY TO SEE IN MY INBOX ;W; !!! HAVE A GREAT DAY & WEEKEND, FERRE !!! ❤️

———– ♔

#♔ || ooc.#but I'm also putting it in Patrick's tag I IWHEDIUEDH #♔ || the puzzle of our friendship is the most comforting (patrick).#FUN FACT: Did you know mandarin ducks are a symbol of love and fidelity because they mate for life #Apparently they always try to find their way back to the same mate no matter what UwU #I sense a pattern here with the pigeons finding their way back and now tHIS WIEUDHAKSHDUWHED #ANYWAY WIEDHWIDU THANK YOU AGAIN FOR SENDING THIS IN FERRE <3 #Me when I saw the message and the duck picture: :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD #♔ || queue.

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flcrencepughs · 2 years

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tagged by @olivaraofrph (thank u sm! *cry emoji*)

favorite color: purple, yellow, orange !!

currently reading: the no-show by beth o’leary (its not very good) & just ordered like six books (im trying to read 60 this year!!)

last song: w.i.t.c.h by devon cole

last series: i am currently watching ms marvel and shameless

last movie: i saw thor on the weekend!!

sweet/spicy/savory: sweet, big sweet tooth!

currently working on: im currently trying to get back into giffing but i have the first three episodes of pivoting clipped so i can gif maggie q as well as the first/second season of tribal so i can gif jessica matten! *dancing emoji*

tag 9 people you would like to get to know better: @khadijha @tessgifs @chevans @katherine-mcnamara @priquintana @antlerqueer @thirteenwrites @mvdipetsch @targarryen

#OOC #to everyone i tagged... hello i hope u all have lovely days u all rock <3 #thank you sm for tagging meeeee #this was fun!

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armafidelium · 4 months

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i just wanted to say i hope each and every one of you have a wonderful new year and that i hope the new year brings all of you nothing but wonderful things. i'm so grateful to have come back to write and i hope the new year leads to much more exploration of character. thank you all. you all truly deserve the best.

#● ☾ ⭑ 𝗠ᵒᵒᶰˡᶤᵍʰᵗ ᵛᶤᵍᶤˡ ( ooc )#// i forced myself to not ramble too much #// bc i am a sappy person who loves to gush my gratitude for others bc i have many feelings #// truly thank you all for makign the last bit of the year so wonderful and fun and i hope the new year #// can result in me getting a bit over my innate shyness and whatnot #// and i started to ramble in takges i'll stop before we have a wall of tags omg

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breadbrobin · 4 months

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fate

clarisse la rue x reader — percy jackson and the olympians

[fem!daughter of apollo reader]

[part 2 to the trees]

summary: clarisse is being weirdly standoffish, and you’re not one to cave to that, no matter how much you like her. and no matter how things go, you still have to get your weapons from the forest.

warnings: swearing, arguing, fighting, monsters, PINING BUT THEYRE IDIOTS, everyone’s so mad at each other rn, kissing (AHHHH), canon typical violence, again probably slightly ooc clarisse but hey i love her anyway

word count: 3.2k

(uhhh so this is probably not what anyone was expecting for part two but this is how i alway a planned it, so here it is!! tag list in reblogs and also thank you for the love on the trees! i love you all so much <3 and i’d die for you just like clarisse and this dumb bitch here would die for each other)

(this is much more enemies to lovers than the first one btw so have fun)

———————————————

the day after capture the flag was always a little tense. of course it was. half the camp had just lost, and not many people at camp were good losers, especially not those who got their butts kicked.

this time, though, there was a new level of tension in the air.

ares kids didn’t often run the flag over the line themselves, and those who did were crowing about it at breakfast, then all morning too.

curiously, clarisse wasn’t. she was eating in silence, picking through her eggs like she was searching for something.

you’d never seen her like that before. no one had. but, it seemed you were the only person to notice. you always were, and you were okay with that.

your brother nudged your arm and shot you a questioning look, but you brushed him off with a smile.

why was clarisse so down? she’d won. what did she have to be upset about? was she mad at you? did you do something to piss her off in the tree? she hadn’t seemed exactly happy when she left.

stuck in your thoughts, you didn’t realise she’d met your eyes until your brother elbowed you.

“ow! what do you want?” you snapped, rubbing your rib cage tenderly.

“clarisse is staring at you,” he said with wide eyes. “dude… what did you do?”

“nothing,” you scoffed and stood up, taking your empty plate to the stack of dirty dishes, trying—and failing—to not look at clarisse as you left.

“y/n, wait up!”

you slowed down for sam as he jogged to catch up to you. there was a newfound bitterness in your mouth when you saw him. you’d never liked him, not like he’d liked you, but you’d never felt like you wanted to be away from him. not like you did in that moment then. but where would you go? to clarisse? yeah, right, she’d laugh in your face, regardless of whatever happened—or might have happened—in that tree.

“what’s up?” you asked. you couldn’t help your voice being drier than usual.

“just wanted to see how those arrows did you? were they good? i can make some more, if you want.” he looked almost eager to do so.

you smiled kindly. he really was sweet. “they were great, thanks, sam. best arrows i’ve ever used, even if i didn’t get too much of a chance to use them.” your steps faltered. “i did leave one in the forest though. i’ll have to get that later.”

your eyes locked on clarisse as she walked towards you down the path. two of her siblings were behind her, laughing, but she wasn’t. in fact, her jaw was set tight and she was glaring. at sam.

“i could come with you?” he suggested. “watch your back. keep you safe, you know?”

clarisse scoffed as she passed. “she doesn’t need you to keep her safe, tool-box.”

that was a little mean. sure, sam carried his tool-box everywhere, but you never know what might need to be fixed! despite yourself, you had to hold in a laugh. your eyes were alight with amusement as you locked gaze with clarisse.

she looked proud of herself, a jaunty grin on her lips. you couldn’t help your gaze dropping to them briefly. she smiled wider. it was infuriating. she now knew what her effect on you was, and she was using it.

“if she needed someone to protect her, she’d come to me, right, angel?” she tilted her head.

your mouth was infuriatingly dry. you nodded. “uh—“

“whatever,” sam snapped. “come on, y/n. let’s go.”

you kind of wanted to stay, but his grip on your arm didn’t leave any room for an argument. you trailed after him as he left, glancing over your shoulder just in time to see clarisse’s face darken with anger.

“angel?” sam scoffed. “who does she think she is?”

“uh…”

“whatever. gods, she’s just so—“ he turned and faced you, almost causing you to bump into his chest. you’d never seen him so intense before. “stay away from her, y/n. seriously. she’s bad news.”

“she’s nice to me,” you protested.

“she’s not nice to anyone. don’t be naive.” he turned on his heel and started to walk away, then turned back, his face softer. “come on. do you want to learn how to weld? you said you did last week.”

did you? you didn’t remember that. but you did vaguely remember a conversation with sam that you spent zoned out and staring at clarisse as she trained, so that was probably it. “oh, no… i have to… train…”

he looked disappointed, but nodded. “okay, that’s cool. maybe another day. or maybe, we can… go for a walk together? or even have lunch on the beach?”

you nodded absently. “maybe.”

“great, it’s a date!”

you frowned. “it’s a what?”

he looked happier than you’d ever seen him. he even kissed your cheek before walking off, a new spring in his step. you stood there for a moment, eyes wide, wondering what the hell just happened. then you heard a scoff from behind you.

when you turned around, clarisse was walking away.

“clarisse,” you said softly, jogging after her. “clarisse, wait!”

“go hang out with your boyfriend, l/n.” she snapped, her arms crossed as she walked. “he’s probably waiting for you so you two can make out in that sweaty little sex dungeon they call a workshop.”

your eyebrows shot up. “okay, first of all, i’m pretty sure it is actually a workshop, and second of all, he’s still not my boyfriend!”

she scoffed again but didn’t answer, stomping up the steps to the ares cabin and stopping at the top, looking down at you.

you felt small under her gaze, but you didn’t back down.

“what are you doing here?” she asked after a moment.

“you said i could come get a new dagger,”you said.

she rolled her eyes and leaned on the porch railing. “and?”

you frowned, looking up at her. “and… i’m here to get one?”

she regarded you for a few seconds in silence, then, just as she was about to speak, a new voice called out.

“clarisse, are you giving out girlfriend privileges already?” one of her brothers, marcus, you thought, stepped into the doorway of the cabin and peered around her to look at you. he looked like a stereotypical son of ares: buff, tall and mean. “that’s cute.” he continued, looking at you like you were an animal in a zoo.

“she’s not my girlfriend,” she scoffed like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world.

well, that hurt.

“yeah, we’re just—“

“we’re not even friends,” she added hurriedly, not even looking at you. “she just thinks she’s special.”

your jaw clenched. that really hurt. “i don’t think i’m special,” you snapped. “i think i want you to honour your word from yesterday or go and get my dagger out of the forest for me.”

“not my fault you forgot your dagger,” she studied her nails nonchalantly.

“but if you hadn’t thrown my dagger out of a tree and tossed my new arrow aside like it was trash then i wouldn’t have forgotten. and maybe if you hadn’t leaned in like you were about to kiss me, maybe i wouldn’t have forgotten either.” your gaze was as sharp as hers was, meeting in the middle with fire and lightning crackling between you.

she stepped forward, face to face with you. for a second, you thought she’d punch you, but you didn’t back down.

then she laughed. it wasn’t at all like her laugh in the tree the day before. this was her cold, cruel laugh that she usually saved for her victims. with a start, you realised that’s what you were: another victim of clarisse la rue. your heart broke for a split second before you pulled yourself together and straightened your back, meeting her eyes.

“kiss you?” she snickered. “get your head out of your ass, angel, you’re not all that because you can shoot a bow and climb a tree.”

you stepped closer to her, so you were right up in her face. “and you’re not all that because you scare away everyone who cares about you, just because your daddy’s a little mean. you don’t need to be a bitch about everything.”

you regretted it instantly. you’d gone too far. you knew that.

her face dropped and a hurt look flashed through her eyes, but it died as soon as it came to life.

you stepped back and turned, marching away.

“where are you going?” she called after you. “we’re not finished here!”

“you have something else to say to me, clarisse, you come find me!” you shot back, your voice hard. you didn’t start arguments often, but goddamn did you finish them.

you stomped into the forest, determined to find your dagger and arrow so you could prove to both clarisse and sam that you were capable of more than just shooting arrows from trees and running away from fights.

it was darker today. the clouds that covered camp half-blood permeated through the forest, leaving a heavy weight suspended among the trees. the air felt thicker, even, and the birdsong seemed quieter than usual. was there something around? something hanging in the air, waiting to attack you? drag your body back to camp and leave it on clarisse’s doorstep like a cat bringing in a dead bird?

or was your fear just because you were alone instead of with the rest of camp.

whatever it was, it put you on edge.

there was a clicking sound behind you, like someone was cracking a joint, but when you turned, no one was there. you weren’t foolish enough to call out.

you could feel a chill going down your spine, and that’s when you knew: the first shoe had dropped.

your eyelids fluttered and you nearly dropped to the ground, but you leaned heavily against a tree to catch yourself. typical. go out on your own, thinking you can take care of yourself and you get hit with a premonition. how’s that for fate?

you let the feeling wash over you; the pure panic of the near future and the warm grip of a hand on your wrist, like someone was pulling you along.

the future was not looking promising.

there was another clicking sound behind you as you finally managed to straighten up, much closer this time.

you turned around.

the bushes were rustling.

you suddenly realised what that clicking sound was.

mandibles.

two ants the size of german shepherds burst through the foliage. myrmeke.

there was the other shoe, dropping real hard.

“shit!” you stumbled backward, reaching for a weapon. you had no weapon. “double shit!”

you turned and ran.

the ants were fucking fast. they could have caught up to you if you weren’t so agile, turning and springing off in different directions every few steps, sending them careening into trees and rocks. that was the only thing keeping you alive.

where even were you? you didn’t recognise this area. hopefully you weren’t running directly for their anthill. that would be a real twist of fate.

then you burst into a new area, this one with a large tree—a large tree that you recognised.

“yes!” you exclaimed, dashing for the trunk. you found your dagger easily, then your discarded arrow too. you didn’t know what good they’d do against the myrmeke, considering that their shells were as hard as armour and, while force was good in some cases, you had to admit that sharpness may have helped you against them.

you couldn’t run anymore. your screaming lungs told you that. you couldn’t climb either. the ants could climb better than you and you’d be a sitting duck up there, no matter how high you went. but maybe, just maybe, you could hold them off until they got bored or someone realised you were missing.

it wasn’t easy, but you managed to deflect and dodge the myrmeke’s attacks. they were fast, but you were faster. you even managed a swipe at one of their legs as you rolled past, but all it did was leave a tiny chink in its armour.

you were beginning to lose hope.

honestly, what you wouldn’t give for a spear right now. your blunt dagger and slim arrow were about as good as a toothpick against these monsters.

just as you were backed against the tree that you’d once found a safe haven, you heard a battle cry. you could have sobbed from relief, but instead, as the spear-wielding figure landed on top of one of the ants, driving her weapon into the gap between its armoured plates, you took your opportunity to stab your arrow with as much force as you could into the other ant’s gaping mouth, slipping it precisely between its mandibles and, hopefully, into its brain.

it jerked back in pain and screeched, the sound making your ears ring, but it didn’t die. instead, it looked rightfully pissed off, and now it had an arrow sticking from its mouth.

as your saviour pulled her spear from the ants back, a warm, brown liquid sprayed on you. it smelled like ants always did after you crushed them, just a million times worse. you wondered if this was revenge for all the ants you’d murdered in your life.

“gross!” you exclaimed, wiping it off your face.

“grow up, bows, we gotta go!” clarisse. your saviour was clarisse. of course.

just as you were about to protest, two more myrmeke crept out of the forest towards you.

she gripped your wrist, right where that warmth was in your premonition, and dragged you away, making you drop your dagger in the rush.

“i dropped my—“

“save it!” she snapped, pulling you along.

the desperation in her voice kicked you into gear and you started running faster, alongside her now.

you didn’t use the same tactics as before. instead of dodging, you just ran as fast as you could and prayed that the myrmeke would be slower. clarisse seemed to know where she was going, at least.

“you’re such an idiot!” clarisse yelled as they ran.

“we’re doing this now?” you panted incredulously.

“you could have died!”

“we’ll both die if you don’t stop yelling at me!”

finally, gloriously, you breached the edge of the forest and stepped into camp. the myrmeke wouldn’t follow you there.

you dropped to you knees, panting and staring into the forest. clarisse was standing in front of you, her spear ready, just in case.

you’d stepped into a quiet part of camp up behind the amphitheatre, so there was no one around to see you, and no one around to help you. you had a feeling that if the myrmeke didn’t kill you, clarisse wouldn’t hesitate.

once it was clear that they weren’t following, she rounded on you.

you were still on your knees, your legs too tired and shaky with adrenaline to stand, but she didn’t seem to care.

“what were you thinking, going in on your own?” she snapped.

“well i wasn’t expecting to get attacked by killer ants within the camp’s borders!” you protested.

“everyone knows they’re there.”

“i forgot, okay? i’m not perfect.”

“oh, i know.” she rolled her eyes.

“gods, would you just fuck off?” you finally stood up, face to face with her. “you’re horrible sometimes, you know that? i can’t believe i’ve defended you.”

“i don’t need your defending.”

“and i don’t need your help!”

“you would have died!” she yelled, emphasising every word.

“but i didn’t!” you shouted back.

she rolled her eyes and stepped closer, anger practically radiating off her. “yeah, thanks to me. you’d be dead if i hadn’t followed you in there—“

“why did you follow me?” you asked suddenly, voice harsh.

“what?”

“why did you follow me?” you asked again, slower. “i didn’t ask you to look after me, clarisse.”

there it was again. that slightly relaxation of her shoulders when you said her name. it drove you nuts. you didn’t know if you wanted to kiss her for hours or throw her to the myrmeke.

she tensed up again and turned to leave. “whatever. i’m done here.”

“i’m not!” you gripped her shoulder and pulled her back around. to your surprise, she didn’t pull a weapon on you. “why did you follow me, clarisse? was it the same reason that you were flirting with me yesterday? and why you’re so protective of me? and why you hate sam?”

“i wasn’t flirting with you,” she grumbled. “and i hate sam for… personal reasons. and i’m not protective of you! why would you even think that?”

“that’s all bullshit and you know it,” you sneered.

“gods, you aggravate me!” she exclaimed.

“you didn’t have to come help me,” you scoffed, stepping back. “i didn’t ask for your help.”

“and i didn’t want to help you!”

“then why did you? huh? you could handle not winning a fight? you wanted to finish the argument on your terms?” your eyebrows were raised and your face was cold. “or were you gonna beat me up but the giant killer ants got to me first?”

she looked like she was about to explode with anger. “because i love you!”

the air escaped from your lungs in one sharp moment, and it looked like hers did the same thing.

“what?” you asked, your voice softer.

it was silent. she looked like she was trying to find something to say, but couldn’t. her mouth opened and closed weakly, and she shook her head, lips pressed together. you wanted to kiss her.

so you did.

she tensed up as your hands came to her waist, pulling her body and lips against yours hard. then, finally, she relaxed. she dropped her spear at your feet and raised her hands to your hair, threading her fingers through the strands. she was a softer kisser than you’d expected, but it was definitely her. it was all her. the tug on your hair, the underlying, undeniable harshness of the kiss, the spear that rested against your foot. it was perfectly clarisse. you could have kissed her until the sun went down and the ants came and carried you both to their anthill, and if you stayed kissing her like this, you wouldn’t even mind.

when, finally, you pulled away, you were both breathing heavily. all of the tension from the fight hid dissipated, leaving only a warm sparkling in the air, like a mirage around her face in the sunlight. maybe that was a sign? or a vision? whatever it was, it was heaven-sent.

she was smiling. she looked softer like this. gods, you loved it. it felt like fate, and you knew a lot about fate. fate was fickle. fate was cruel. fate brought you the arguments, the myrmeke, the terror. but fate also brought you this. this girl who was glowing in the sun like she was made of pure rays of light. the girl with a spear that she laid down at your feet and would save you barehanded if you asked. the girl who had sunk into your arms like she was made to be there.

“do you think i can get that new dagger now?” you asked cheekily, playing with the hem of her camp shirt. “i mean, i have girlfriend privileges now, right, babe?”

clarisse rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. “shut up, devil.”

“ooh, devil. that’s new,” you teased. “i like it. it’s apt.”

“it sure is.” she looked down. “i’m… sorry, by the way.”

“me too,” you nodded. “i didn’t really mean any of that, you know?”

“‘cause you like me,” she said in a teasing voice.

“yeah, ‘cause i like you, or whatever.” you kissed her again, smiling against her lips. “and i know you like me too, because you so did nearly kiss me in that tree yesterday.”

she shrugged. “maybe. maybe not. guess we’ll never know.”

you found out at the next capture the flag game. and the next. and the next. she would go out of her way to find you, defeat you, then kiss you before running off to win the games. and honestly, you didn’t really mind.

fate was a fickle thing, but with clarisse by your side, no one could touch you. sam left you alone, people started treating you better, and you had everything you could ask for. her.

and whenever you two argued, you’d go into the woods together and kill some ants. after all, what says ‘couple’s bonding’ quite like murder?

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo x reader #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #dior goodjohn

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