#or just add on and explain what I mean

[pumpkinkofi]

I have nothing against Kendra nor Kendratello, I think most of you have actually done a good job at being civil and to that I give my honest thanks. I personally do not like the ship because of my own headcanons and feelings but those are my own and shouldn’t stop you.

BUT what were not going to do is pretend Kendra is some how Donnie’s savior from the big bad 2012 april.

Like I need you guys to be fucking for real here. She’s canonically manipulative, befriending rise Donatello just so she can steal his gear such as his battle she’ll which ya know is pretty fucking important to him given his sensory issues and his soft shell. Used his fear of beach balls against him (which granted is funny as fuck ) and befriended shelldon to win a race and subsequently dumped him when lost and is just canonically a dick to friends/step sibling.

Don’t get me wrong she’s not straight up evil or anything’s she’s a hammy bully antagonist but that’s just it she’s A ANTAGONIST.

I thought we were over the weird ass hate boner for 2012 April is becoming barely disguised sexism with certain individuals picking and completely butchering other female characters as some gotcha moment

#pkctalks #I’m suppose to be asleep but I’m so god damn tired of people #this is not hate on kendratello #do I ship it no #do I ship apriltello of any kind? #no not really #both are kinda cute in their own right but I don’t really like etheir #kendratello #if too many people get upset or start becoming uncivil I’ll unravel the ships but this is about them sooo #tmnt 2012 april #Tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt kendra #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2012 april o'neil #2012 april #swearing #not sure I like how I worded this once I get sleep I’ll look it over and edit #or just add on and explain what I mean

[mineyardjostenrivalry]

You know I get it.

#let’s make this a chain post #everyone know this iconic sentence #so just reblogg and add the next sentence that comes after whatever sentence you just reblogged #im extremely bad at explaining #but you know what I mean I’m sure of it #let’s just create this entire speech with rebloggs #aftg #all for the game #mutuals #aftg fandom #neil josten #andrew minyard #andriel #aftg riko #Riko roast #you know i get it

[chessb0r3d]

i cracked the code.

#believing dirk is the worst guy because its what dirk thinks of himself #ignoring daves bisexuality and think hes a gay man in denial even when he explained hes bisexual #believing john 'im not a homosexual' egbert is explicitly straight while he makes out with his mcconahey and cameron posters more #than he kissed women(literally only once) #believing that rose is an edgy psyhcotic little bitch when she was neglected. she speaks elegantly to cover that shes silly and a total ner #and how did people forget that rose also writes gay wizard fanfiction. reads Wikipedia. and her beautiful artstyle as a result of neglect #(and by neglect meaning having SO MUCH TIME to draw) #jake wasnt into dirk. he also told di that he didnt like how brobot getting touchy with him during strifes #but as part of the repression 4(prospit kids). he refused on changing the bot settings #what jane said about roxy being better when she was drunk. it was fucking sarcasm. its the least insane shit you could say to a best friend #all the kids have issues and of course people get mad over a girl being sarcastic. #when KARKAT said THE SAME THING to rose when she was drunk on the meteor nobody bats an eye #trolls are just grey humans that are bugs. he doesnt get an excuse for being an alien. humans were made from KARKATS BLOOD #jade isnt all silly girl and is so FULL OF HATE towards the trolls. she called karkat a fuckass (VERY FUNNY) to do her a favor #“jade would rather have punched karkat in the fact then had a pleasent conversation with him.” #“she viewed the trolls as rude mean and cruel. and even thought that nepeta was just making fun of her. #despite it being that nepeta just wanted to roleplay and have fun." #dred.loki #I HAVE YET TO ADD MORE. THESE ARE JUST NOTES #homestuck #chss

[synthshenanigans]

Something about how Heart is being compared to mythology, Minds referencing the bible & Soul being the one to use both of those things

#its so fun to my brain. its interesting to me #idk if that actually means anything i just find it neat #Heart being referenced as Juno [the greek moon goddess] #Mind referencing the bible [he does it mainly in TME but also the whole judgment & punishment talk as well] #then there's Soul with the end of Dream & all of Two Wuv [also a couple extra lines in TSE NMtK & such] #this has probably been said before but i still find it interesting #also to add in. Whole does none of those things really #not including some songs since they're more CJ centric/not Whole based [if that makes sense] #but Whole is much more literal non-metaphorical way of explaining things/singing #the most he talks about anything that's a metaphor is like the Time Machine bits in TMR #THO whats also kinda fun is that when he sorta talks less literal. its in the back & forth part in TWWaY #like showing all separate parts of HMS are there but as one person #again idk if im making sense #im rambling now but its interesting to me #chonny jash #moss post

[themthistles]

i think that while micro labels can seem useful and affirming ultimately they're isolating and kind of an obstacle to your understanding of self. that's because you can never find a word specific enough. there will never be a label or two labels or even ten, twenty of them to perfectly capture and describe all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, preferences, needs, interests, identities, etc. because you learn more and more about yourself every day and then you change and your wants and needs change with you. having to hop between labels, fearing that you don't 'fit' into a label anymore (both in your own and others eyes), worrying how soon your current label will wear out, questioning if you'll ever fully fit a single one. all that causes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety which could be avoided by just picking a more general thing and molding it according to what it means to YOU. because words will always mean different things to different people, you will never be understood immediately and maybe never completely by anyone but yourself and that's fine

#another thing is that micro labels often feel like they fracture the community unnecessarily #idk how many times i've seen fighting over hyperspecific ace labels and what they mean and if people described in them even belong #and honestly i think this discourse wouldn't be so vile and neverending if people accepted the idea of falling under general umbrella #and accepted that you can't describe complicated weird and wonderful act of human existence with a couple of words #you don't need to explain yourself to anyone #i know in our present pronouns/sexuality/gender in bio carrd era it feels like you have to but you really don't #people aren't entitled to a short summary of your inner world and you can't speed run connection #also feel the need to say: i have nothing against people who use micro labels #if you feel like your micro label describes you perfectly? i'm really glad and happy for you #i'm just expressing my own thoughts and feelings that come from personal experience with exploring these things #at some point i started doubting if i could call myself a lesbian #i thought oh i'm not exactly what a lot of people generally think of when they hear that word #oh they'll misunderstand and i'm not being my 'true self' i'll find a word that fits me exactly if i just keep looking #and then i found out being aroace is a thing and boy did that add a lot of anxiety and confusion to the pot #i didn't feel like i fit in with both communities wasn't lesbian enough wasn't aroace enough #but at some point i just got tired of trying to justify myself to others and to myself #identities aren't houses you live in they're more like seas or rivers flowing into one another #and spaces where they intersect are vague and hard to define and they shift and change and this metaphor is getting away from me #basically #words are complicated #but they're the only direct way we humans can communicate #it is what it is #so make art #a lot of it #oh also unrelated but if you ever tell older queer folks that they're using wrong words to describe themselves i am going to jump you

[araneitela]

Me staring at test results: It makes so much sense for her, but if I don't specify or elaborate, then we end up with the fanon take. Ugh, how do I easily explain that if you look at the word 'sex' through a much more old-fashioned lens instead of the modern one, that you'll get a vastly different picture of it?

/takes angycat.png typing to my tags

#[ ooc. ] don't try to make it logical or edit your soul according to the fashion. rather; follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. #[ post-it. ] in a way; you are poetry material. you are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out. #[ i'm so tired. i need to write a post on this or something. and somehow add it to my pinned. in some way. ] #[ 'sex' and 'seduction' are /not/ wrong in my opinion. HOWEVER-- they are /very wrong/ if we go by modern labels and perception. ] #[ god the horror of writing a muse that is so interlaced in a modern world; setting and culture but seems to /ooze/ something archaic. ] #[ this level of refinement isn't of our times in my opinion. these things that she loves aren't commonly loved nowadays. ] #[ there's so much about her that is old-fashioned to me and it's so in my face. and yet fanon doesn't see it. ] #[ i can't believe i'm an old millennial who's screaming boomer or older things. ] #[ but like can we acknowledge that sex in today's age isn't the same as it used to be? not /always/ but more generally so. ] #[ can we acknowledge that /seduction/ didn't always mean what people see it to mean now? ] #[ can we acknowledge that the FEMME FETALE TROPE HAS CHANGED /LEAGUES/ since the 2000s? ] #[ which is my biggest beef actually. and maybe all of my frustration plays into this most. it's that the femme fatale now is sexualized. ] #[ while that is /not/ what the femme fatale used to be. kafka plays into the old school femme fatale so well. film noir days. ] #[ i had this same struggle on yelan where they make VERY OBVIOUS draws to it by her music in her trailer. god; the jazz. ] #[ but kafka suffers from this so very much as well to a point where i don't dare to call her a femme fatale because then it's fanon. ] #[ the fanon i hate so much. ] #[ but just uuuughhhh. UGHHH. it's so much to explain. ]

[nostalgia-tblr]

u know, once someone has pointed out the orientalism in most of fandom's depictions of jotun!loki you can never unsee it.

#it was always easy enough to spot in fanart but in fic you can't *see* it so it's maybe a bit less obvious? or else i'm just a bit thick. #but he's always in diaphanous silk 'bellydancer'-style garments and covered in gold hoop jewellery isn't he? D: #and none of the *other* jotuns get dressed like that so that plays even more into the 'exotic flower full of delicate eastern promise' thin #he's dressed to lounge around in a 19th century englishman's interpretation of the ottoman sultan's harem for some reason #(i've been reading some Thorki Arranged Marriage Fics of late and oh. my. god. can you find another less racist aesthetic pls?) #also semi-aside but i only just noticed fandom fixed the lack of jotun women in canon by just making them all Fantasy Hermaphrodites #even if someone breaks convention and gives Loki a birth mother it's usually a he/him one and like... #on one hand this looks Progressive but on the other it conveniently means nobody has to add any women to the story #that might actually explain why i felt weird when i was attempting a Jotunheim AU and i invented some women for it? #like oh my god you can't make his mother a woman what is this mary-sue self-insert nonsense?! #(i probably won't ever actually manage to write that fic but at least the planning stage was kind of fun)

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for - #- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?' #i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy' #but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety?? #i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day* #aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all............. #ranting

[antisocialxconstruct]

.

#rrrrrrgfhfhfhfhf worked myself up into the Art Block Brain Funk again =__= #i feel like... i don't know if i know how to explain the feeling I'm dealing with #like when I'm doing other things the idea of drawing or writing seems appealing #but as soon as i have the opportunity to sit down and maybe start/work on something... #i just feel like... what's the point :| #i don't feel like i have anything to say anymore. I don't feel like i make art that means anything #i know on my last sketch i said i was trying to reacclimate to making ''pointless art'' but. why would i want to #why spend the time and mental effort if it doesn't make me feel anything. it's not going to make anyone else feel anything #and i feel like I'm treading dangerously close to ''well i don't want to make art if it doesn't get lots of views :((('' #but that's not really it. or not entirely at least.... idk #i don't know how else to characterize it except everything in my head feels shallow. #like why would i expect this (whatever it is) to warrant or deserve anyone else's attention. why would i deserve that #what do i really think i can add to the conversation

[puppyeared]

footnotes arent enough I need you to talk to me like im fucking Amelia Bedelia

#this isn’t about anything in particular btw. I just have to add a lot of memos when I’m doing things because some things are done a certain #way and it isn’t explained well in the instructions. like my mom has instructions on her baking recipes right #but when it says stuff like add dry ingredients to wet ingredients it also means you don’t dump it in one go you add it slowly by portion #this is probably why I find videos and demonstrations the most helpful when I learn something. like I almost always ask someone to show me #how they do it because there could be something they do that’s already second nature and wouldn’t really be considered in an explanation yk #I don’t think I’m an exception either. when the rice is done cooking I divide it into 4 quarters to bless it #but there are a million ways to divide rice and it makes me think that one persons way of doing it or not doing it all is just as valid #theres also technically no wrong way to divide rice afaik. this means either all ways of dividing rice is safe or valid until we find some #universally terrible way of dividing rice. until that happens nobody really thinks about specifying HOW you divide the rice #source: I have anxiety starting and doing things for the first time because I got way too many people yell at me NONONO WHAT ARE YOU DOING #THATS WRONG while I’m in the middle of doing the thing. I would rather have people think I’m either very stupid or overly specific #than go thru the panic inducing fear of ‘YOURE DOING THIS WRONG OMG WHY DIDNT YOU ASK AHEAD OF TIME THIS WILL BE FUCKED UP FOREVER’ 🧍 #nothing wrong if you don’t give something a second thought because you’re so used to it. but I can and will ask about it and I don’t think I #really should feel bad about it if I don’t know enough to dispute it. idk #the other way around I try to be as specific as possible and word things in a way that people who might not get where I’m coming from will #understand. but the problem with that is my explanations tend to be lengthy and I lose them either way 🗿 #Im. trying to work on that using examples and stuff because they seem to work the best #but if I could write everything down on a word doc and beam it into your melon that would save both of us time and embarassment #im rambling the short version is I have adhd #yapping

[x-for-a-y]

consider this a prelude to my essay on the theme of dehumanization in doatk's narrative but it's interesting how despite having souls as a clear thing, part of a person's being, the story never leans heavily into corruptive transhumanism, almost defying it a little, really. the closest there's been yet is the wreck, mainly on account of Use of the taking someone's soul and putting it in a robot trope, and not going much further than that: the remaining soul of guptill is not depicted as transcending its physical form in much of any way. hamood is also roughly an example of one's "self" remaining intact despite changes to one's body, but that's generally presented as an effect of his immense General power & not entirely some quality of his soul in particular, and overall a goner's "persistence of the self" in their new physical ferms varies on a fairly case-by-case basis; if the theory that will won't act differently than his standard for normal as the ventriloquist comes true, it's thanks to his specific background & the effect of such a thing on the humor of the story (i.e. rule of funny). again, this all is so despite the fact that people's souls are depicted as overall intact & unmodified, which makes souls' position in lore much more like a nonspecific quality of a person required for life rather than the specifically transhumanist concept they most often are

#i don't need to introduce transhumanism for the sake of others understanding this post right #. i do probably need to explain transhumanism as a concept what am i saying #well i'm not doing it in these tags #i just want to add that i don't really subscribe to the theory of will mcdaniel ending up normal as the ventriloquist #i mean that's his fucking goner name. ''the ventriloquist''. he's got his hand up kebin. it's going to be cool whatever goes on with that #and just to clarify a little bit i use the words ''corruptive transhumanism'' to refer to a fairly specific concept #that of modifications to the physical form always having a unilaterally negative affect on the ''inner self''/soul #if there's a preexisting term for this concept i'm not familiar with it or just don't remember it. that's what i get #for drafting my analysis posts late at night. and not reading an entire book on mind-body dualism

[goldensunset]

i cannot stand those quirky overly-friendly-to-the-point-of-crossing-boundaries teachers and professors who make you do icebreakers or fun facts about yourself at the beginning of the semester bc their questions are always the exact sort of stuff that you never wanna answer. but they just keep asking bc they think you’re just being shy and cute. ‘what are your hobbies? what kind of music do you like? what’s a topic very personal and important to you?’ MAN i am not subjecting myself to public humiliation like that for being very far removed from the norm nor am i opening up about my deep-seated personal problems. i don’t know you i don’t respect you you are not entitled to anything outside of my graded work. i’m just trying to prevent everybody in the room including you and i from becoming incredibly uncomfortable. just take the hint when i deflect your questions and pretend to be boring

#my sociology professor was asking us all for our current favorite song to add to the class playlist that he plays a bit from every morning #even if i had a single favorite song i wouldn’t tell him #even if he wasn’t gonna play it in front of others i wouldn’t tell him #he was like ‘ahhh what a diverse and fascinating sample of different genres we’ve collected here from your responses!’ #three taylor swift songs. some respectable rock and rap stuff. basically it #i am not about to submit my japanese robots singing about the most unhinged and frightening topics known to man #some of us actually got bullied as children and learned to never be honest ever again especially not when we don’t have friends with us #i could explain to him why i like the things i like #but i’m not about to be that vulnerable?? hello???? i already know he wouldn’t understand or care even if he didn’t say anything mean #ok hot take but i actually kinda don’t like the discourse surrounding infodumping #like ‘it’s ok to just talk at me about the things you like! :)’ ok but if i don’t have clear confirmation that you like it too #then it feels like you’re just listening to me out of pity #you could be as nice as possible but if you don’t ask followup questions or express any sort of favorite part or interesting detail #i will feel awful and be like ok never doing that again #maybe that’s just my personal flavor of mental illness #i never got like. told to shut up or anything when talking #but i did get the awkward silence or ‘light-hearted’ mockery #so i figured shutting myself up was for the best #peach rambles

[franeridan]

this might just be an unpopular opinion in the jjk fandom but i love how little seriously things happen for the most part since the culling game started, like i miss being seriously emotionally invested in it a little bit ngl but i love the way the newer characters will just open their mouths and say things so much, they were all forced in this game against their will and the only ones that survived long enough to make it in the cast are the unhinged ones that makes so much sense to me. maybe I liked the plot until the shibuya incident a little more but tbh some of my favourite characters in the whole manga have been introduced or have been made relevant during the culling game, some of these guys are just pure gold on legs

#of course that's without counting goge they're my forever dudes #but some chapters and characters since the game started are so unhinged they're a delight to me #remember that one chapter all set inside pandas mind what WAS that #or oh god i can't even remember who was fighting there but that one chapter that started with bestie explaining their technique #and their opponent going who do you think is even gonna read all that #(not me that was for sure. probably why I don't remember who that was at all lmao) #i just remembered the arc where they go pick up hakari oh my god #and ah of course yuki and choso vs kenjaku #all fights feel so random in this arc but i enjoyed them all so much in a chill I don't care about the outcome but this is fun way #and that's without counting the latest fights and my best friends higuruma and takaba #nah this is what I'm saying jjk might be a grave for anyone who appears in it but it def has my favourite way of going about it out of #all the manga in this genre I've ever read #like if u wanna kill off all my fav characters you NEED to continuously add new characters for me to choose new ones #if the remaining characters are always the same I'm just gonna get angry at the fact that my fav isn't there anymore and quit #but if before offing my fav you gave me Another fav I'm stuck here yk what i mean #it's good i love jjk #even if the deaths are so frequent none has any impact for me anymore

[in-tua-deep]

man i have really been thinking about worldbuilding and exposition in books recently

when i was like, i don’t know, twelve-ish, I picked up this book about a teenage girl in a spy school. and i absolutely fell in love with it - I thought it was incredibly neat how the book just seemed to drop me into the middle of the story, even starting in the girl’s second year. in fact, the main character frequently referenced events from her first year (falling in love with a civilian, things ending badly, finding secret passageways, losing her mother’s trust etc.) 

and I actually really enjoyed the fact that the character had a rich and vibrant life outside of what i had read and that the book didn’t go out of its way to explain her past in flashbacks or anything. i understood the main takeaways and why she was reacting to things based on what i gleaned, and more than that i understood the growth of the character, why she was cautious in certain places but reckless in others, etc and i felt smarter for not being handed the answer on a silver platter

anyway it wasn’t until i finished the book and realized there was a sequel that i looked it up and found out that. in fact. i had started with the second book in the series.

oops.

#i will say i genuinely read the sequels and NEVER went back and read the first book #it genuinely felt like i understood the takeaways from reading the second book #it almost felt like i would be doing cammie a disservice by going backwards and undoing the progress she had made #anyway i just remember thinking about how cool it was that the author didn't go out of their way to explain exactly what happened #and yet i was able to understand what happened just by her reactions to this new guy #the oh. OH. of realizing she hadn't fallen in love with a civilian so much as fallen in love with the idea of civilian life #her life being made much more difficult from the loss of trust by her mother and teachers #kind of want to go back and reread it but i feel like reading ur childhood books again sets you up for disappointment #probably not the masterpiece i remember reading #but man it made so much sense bc of COURSE cammie wouldn't just like. give me info about how the world worked. her mum was headmaster. #ofc she knew how the spy world worked smh #so when they were like FUCK the secret passageways we used to sneak out are blocked off bc we got caught last year #we need to figure out either a) another way out of the school unseen or b) find more secret passageways #and i was like !!! yeah! of course! that makes total sense and adds an obstacle for the main character to get though! #and now i also know that cammie a) was sneaking out to see her boyfriend which means it was b) a secret worth hiding for some reason #idk that second book was the only bitch i respect

[synthshenanigans]

How are you going to include songs from the before in the instrumental polls? As far as I know there aren’t official instrumentals for his older albums. Or has someone made isolated versions of those?

Yeaaa CJ stated in the QnA about how all the instrumentals on the Covered in Discontent & the before. albums are just gone cos there was no reason to keep em at the time.

Like I said in the first poll, there was just some songs that don't have an isolated track to listen to, so you'd just have to listen to the song itself & focus on the instruments rather than the lyrics.

Not the greatest thing I know, but! Those songs have really good music & it didn't feel fair to not have em in it, just cos CJ never woulda known how many people would've wanted those down the line. [since like, 50-80% of his fans came from after the before was already finished]

All this is rlly just to say; bros original stuff are really good & deserve more love lol.

#tldr: i love backlit by moonlight's & end the dance's instrumental too much for them not to be recognized #which i did also see some talking about how they also love the bg music of em so i wanted to add them #if anyone has like. the vocals edited out of em id gladly put them in when needed! [with permission ofc] #but until then just gotta work with what we've got lol #[if this sounds rude in anyway i SWEAR i don't mean it this is all /pos. just wanted to explain my thoughts with it] #moss post #also can you believe how fast cj got sub's on yt its wild #like i have a video of his bidding vid 3 *months* after it came out #the video had like 100k & he had 8k subs #now it has almost 2 million views [almost 3mil on Spotify] & he's got like 30k #idk the number are cool to me

[imwritesometimes]

you ever have a conversation with someone and it's like... the sun peeking out from behind the clouds?

#I'm trying REAL HARD not to get *too* excited abt this cause I don't want to like idk get SET on this and then if it DOESN'T work I'll be #super bummed #but like. idk man. to have all my thoughts for the past year+ validated and for someone to say #fck it if THIS is what you'd LIKE to do then fck it let's see if we can make that happen #like idk man. idk. like I said I'm trying not to get TOO excited but at the same time it's like #oh so I'm NOT crazy. this info I got last year DOESN'T seem to add up #maybe I DON'T have to be toiling under the anxiety pressure cooker I've been in for the last year #and I know this is all very vague. IRL stuff is just. idk things are maybe gettin' a little shaken up #in a good way. pls just. good vibes ppl. I really want this to work out. it would mean like #actual happiness and less vomit inducing anxiety and strife and bullshit #I really just. would love for this kinda plan to work #erin explains it all