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zeroducks-2 · 1 year

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So I know that all the apprentice Dick stuff isn't really canon and it only happens in tt03 and that in 'reality' there was a Renegade arc... But I dont know anything about Renegade beside the fact that its a thing. Maybe you could tell me more about it?

It would be my pleasure! Sorry it took me so long to answer, tumblr ate my post and I had to rewrite it >_>

The first thing to know is that despite fanfictions/fanarts tend to portray Renegade!Dick as the "follow-up" to the Apprentice Arc, or anyway conflating the two stories (kind of mashing up stuff from tt03 and the comics), the two situations couldn't be more different from one another. They are in fact completely unrelated both thematically and narratively speaking.

In the comics, the Renegade idea comes from Dick, Dick is the one that insists on sticking around Slade, and Slade never forces/coerces him into doing anything (he has barely any participation in the whole thing). It's actually more about Dick and Rose than Dick and Slade, and in fact the "Renegade" alias itself is very nearly a thing, in the sense that Dick comes up with randomly it at some point, Rose uses it once and that's about it. Slade never even calls him that, sticking to "Nightwing", "Grayson" or just "kid".

A quick sum-up: Dick needs info about the society of supervillains but can't infiltrate them, because Slade is on their roster and he knows Dick's real identity, therefore he would recognize (and out) him easily. So he comes up with the idea of trying to convince Slade that he's a bad guy now and he can be trusted by villains - really Slade never actually trusts him, but in the process of testing him Rose grows very fond of Dick, and eventually Dick manages to thwart the society's plans and kick Slade out of Bludhaven. More or less.

That's not my favorite iteration of Dick, and especially not my favorite iteration of Slade and Rose, but all in all it's a fun, enjoyable story that's very in line with the overall mood and style of the (in)famous "Nightwing 1996" run.

Since we're here I'll go on to provide a more lengthy explanation of the plot with screenshots for poignancy (and because they're fun), but if you're already satisfied with the answer and you don't want more spoilers, go ahead and click away :)

The "Renegade" arc.

I'm going to start out with Issue #110 which opens with Dick leaving Sophia Tevis, the daughter of a mob boss, and her mother in a safe place for Sophia's safety.

Dick is having a rough time with just about everything in his life. This happens soon after the whole situation with Blockbuster and Tarantula and the aftermath of that, also he recently broke up with Barbara, lost his job as a cop and has gone no contact with Bruce. Tim drops by to check on him, and during their conversation, Dick finds out that Bruce was going to adopt Tim.

Dick is very bitter, and Tim keeps justifying Bruce this or that way, as usual enabling his behavior (no hate towards Tim whatsoever btw, that's just how their dynamic tended to function). At some point Tim goes out of his way to reel Dick back in the situation...

...And Dick gets understandably very upset

I love how he's about to yell at Tim but then tones it down. He keeps doing it throughout the whole story, swallowing his emotions and then apologizing when "he sounds too much like Bruce".

Despite everything Dick insists on doing his job as Nightwing and refusing everyone's help, at the point that he's embittered enough for it to be believable that he'd be in a "I lost everything, I want to try a new path" situation. The problem is, as I mentioned before, Dick can't infiltrate the society and uncover their nasty plans because they have Deathstroke on their payroll.

So Dick decides that the only way he has to do this is convince everyone, especially Deathstroke himself, that he's done being a hero, he wants to be a bad guy, he's been slapped in the face one time too many and he'll prove it to him. Only Dick has to talk to Slade for this to happen, and this leads to what's surely my favorite two panels of the entire story:

The infamous "message received" text on the mirror of Dick's bathroom as he showers. Dick is totally unfazed by this btw, makes me think this isn't the first time it happens

Slade, dramatic motherfucker that he is, decides to show up in the middle of the night together with Rose (I'm sharing the panels again cause they're really cool)

A fight ensues but Dick is outnumbered and in his civvies, so it's brief enough. Have I mentioned that Slade is also an idiot? I think I didn't, so here's Slade being an absolute idiot:

I love this panel. I want to print it and eat it I am so normal about it

By saying "undercover with the bad guys" Slade is referring to the fact that Dick has been cooperating with the Bludhaven mafia, fact that actually helps Dick sell the whole "I'm a bad guy now" narrative. Which is what Dick insists upon, saying that he has no more reasons to fight the good fight. Slade isn't impressed, but he still offers Dick a bargain:

Basically the idea is that Dick will prove himself trustworthy by watching over Rose, teaching her, and making her involved in his own things, and so he does; what follows is a number of short episodes in which he and Rose go around doing apparently random tings, bantering in the meantime.

The reason why I say this is not my favorite iteration of Rose Wilson is because she's VERY BABY. Which isn't bad per se but I prefer a version of Rose which is less naive. Also, "Nightstroke".

In the meantime Dick has found out that the place where Sophia Tevis was hiding for her safety wasn't safe at all - her mother has been killed by cops and the kid has been put in a state home. Dick promised to go get her, and this is what he brings Rose along to do.

They rescue Sophia and Dick hides her in yet another place, and makes Rose promise that she won't say anything to Slade about Sophia and what they did. The first thing baby does when she sees Slade is tell him everything.

Basically Rose is trying to make it so Slade will love her, or something like this. I'm actually not sure, their relationship here is a bit confusing to be honest.

So what keeps happening is that Dick brings Rose along - since he does not have a choice on that - while doing his things, pretending it's bad guys things while it really is good guys things. But, he does give her some valuable lessons and the two do grow quite close in the meantime.

The issue is that Slade isn't easily fooled, and to make sure he's got Dick under his thumb, he kidnaps Sophia Tevis to use her as a bargaining chip, and to make sure Dick won't do anything that goes against the society.

The brown haired kid is Sophia, but really this looks more dramatic than it actually is since nothing really changes, or maybe we could say it even backfires - Dick keeps doing his things, and if Rose wasn't convinced initially, now that she knows Sophia is being threatened (and she knows Dick cares for her since Rose helped him save her), she believes Dick more easily when they investigate the society's business and Dick says "it's all part of the plan I swear I'm not doing anything detrimental to your father, if I did he'd kill me and he'd kill Sophia".

And finally we have Dick calling himself Renegade: Rose insisted on calling him Nightwing since there was no alternative, so Dick comes up with Renegade just to get her to stop using "Nightwing"

Soon Dick finds out that the society is planning to use the Bane toxin to create supersoldiers or something like this, and in the meantime he bumps into Arsenal who's legitimately concerned about him (especially because there had been news circulating about Nightwing cooperating with the Bludhaven mafia, and he's been pushing his friends and family away). Dick is forced to knock him out, and eventually Roy tells Oracle, who tells Superman, and it ends up with everyone really worried for Dick.

I'm not really sure how Slade knew Superman would have been involved (I might not remember about it but yeah, Slade knew Supes was going to get involved) and devises a plan to neutralize him: He fixes Dick's glove with a radio transponder and surgically implants kryptonite in Rose's missing eye. During the following confrontation with Superman, Dick nonchalantly says "yeah I'm a bad guy now fuck you", knowing that Clark can hear his heartbeat and can therefore tell that Dick is lying - but Clark reacts in a very upset way, Rose gets scared and jumps him.

A brief scuffle follows but soon enough Superman lets them go, and Dick goes confront Slade with Rose, informing him that he uncovered the society' schemes and that his plan backfired.

Then Dick tells Slade something something along the lines of "Rose loves me and listens to me, while you implanted toxic kryptonite in her eye socket, so if you don't go away from Bludhaven I'll put her against you".

and somehow it works, Slade "admitting defeat" and letting Dick go, but threatening him with "you don't know what you're messing with".

Which actually is what happens soon after with the destruction of Bludhaven, Slade dropping chemo on it and all of that. But that's another story.

So here you have it, the brief story of Renegade and how it existed as Dick's alias for a short time. It's not much something that comes from Slade, more like it tangentially involves Slade while Dick is doing his thing. Again for whoever is interested in reading it first-hand, it spans from issue 110 to issue 115 of Nightwing 1996.

#long post #Nightwing #Deathstroke #Renegade #Nightwing 1996 #my asks #thanks for asking Anon I had a lot of fun researching this and writing it down #my meta

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benchfrown0 · 2 years

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The Facts About Burn Fat & Build Muscle with Yoga Revealed

There are actually never-ending “fat-burning” diets, physical exercise, and supplements that vow fat-burning results. Even more notably we need to maintain these foods items in the arena of nutritional competence, as it can minimize caloric consumption. Sadly, not all study into the correct frequency of fatty tissue development remains clear, and it is becoming obvious that numerous dieters are not eager to implement such diets into their day-to-day routine. How is it that you may obtain weight through consuming healthier eating?

youtube

Maintaining up along with the most up-to-date fad, trend, or “quick-fix” can easily be a lot more exhausting than the workouts you’re dreading. We've put all together some basic guidelines to help you comprehend those rules and aid you stay away from exaggerating the very most significant workouts of your year. Take a appeal at our various other craze lists, at that point take your private faves coming from the list and add them into your trend list after each workout to create them easy to keep in mind. Some of these diets or workout programs might even work for a opportunity, but after that, undoubtedly, the body weight slips back. What's necessary once again, after that, is how much fat you eat through day. With this brand new kind of fat regulation, I think that is better than carrying out a lot of junk meals, or eating only the ideal foods once your physical body gets made use of to eating carbs once again. 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He located that no matter what his way of living was going via in the times of the diet regimen, he was getting additional electricity every time. Permit’s discover the benefits of yoga for weight-loss so that you can shed fatty tissue, develop self-confidence, and keep the body weight off for great. If you're feeling like doing yoga doesn't offer you the complete advantages of workout, then you probably need to step away from that kind of point. Yoga exercise has been so successful at aiding obtain you the essential energy to go from full-bodied to pitch, that you might even have a development that's going to put you front and center.

#yoga burn review #yoga burn #yoga fat burn #yoga burn reviews

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rbdigital · 2 years

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How To Outrank Your Competitors On Google

Few methods to rank above your competitors

1. Laser Sharp Competitor Research

To win in this competition where huge competitors are dominating it, you need to produce better content than your competitors.

Many people say that SEO has a formula. But there is nothing like that. To win the SEO game you just need to give better and better content to your users than your competitors.

For that, competitor analysis is very important. According to hubspot, the companies which integrate blogging with it, tend to generate 55% more traffic than others who don't do it.

Competitor analysis or competitor research is the process where you analyse the content or website of your competitors.

The keywords they rank for, the type of content they publish, where did they get the backlinks from, and many more.

2. Conduct Accurate Keyword Research

This is a method that you must follow extremely carefully, especially if you are starting a new blog or website.

Optimising your posts and your website for specific keywords (on which you want to rank) is very important. As it helps to understand google which keyword are you targeting for (this gives a boost to your ranking process).

If you are a beginner I would recommend you to go for a low competitive keyword as you can rank faster in it. But simultaneously you should also write posts targeting a few high competitive keywords.

This will help you to get some organic traffic as well as increase your domain authority.

3. Create Better Content Using The Skyscraper Technique

I hope most of you have heard about the skyscraper technique of writing content.

But if you don't know here is a quick explanation of the skyscraper technique:

"Skyscraper technique is the technique of writing an article which will be more lengthy and more detailed than your competitors."

This content marketing method, believe me, works. I've personally utilized it to drive a significant amount of traffic to my websites.

However, regardless of how high your "skyscraper" is, if you're just starting out or your site has little authority, you'll likely struggle to rank for any given keyword.

That's why you should focus more on increasing your site's domain authority so that it will get easier for you to rank on competitive keywords.

4. Create Content That People Want To Read

Think your users are asking you to write a blog post on "How to select a niche" but instead, you create a blog post on "How to do keyword research".

Will your users read?

No!! Absolutely not!!

Because you are not listening to your users. You are not writing a blog post that can solve your audience's problems.

Writing a blog post which solve your audience's problems is the best way to get insane traffic and rank higher on SERPs.

Read the full article.

#affiliatemarketing #business #blogging tips #entrepreneur #competitors #competition #blogging

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zorasdomain · 4 years

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apology regarding 2018

This post is in regards to a callout from 2018, in case you have not read it.

This is going to be lengthy, as I have a lot to apologize for and reflect on after so long, so it will be under a cut. I thank you all for your patience and your time in reading it.

Hello, it’s been awhile; I post this not to beg forgiveness, but to apologize in a more proper way. Both for my sake, and for the sake of the hearts I undoubtedly wounded during the event.

I want to sincerely apologize for how I handled things in the past. In 2018, I was going through an early transition into new beliefs, and I lost myself to my interest in politics and my arrogant stance that “I knew better”. A lot of my beliefs have changed. I’ve gone through extremes since leaving Tumblr on every side, trying to feel my way through the spectrum. Ultimately, I have decided people are always more important than politics. Always. And as much as I spoke about caring in that big, obnoxiously long and drawn-out piece as a page on my blog, it essentially boiled down to “why can’t we agree to disagree?”, and about being unwilling to change my mind for the sake of others. For the sake of a community of friends I had built over years, who had supported me through everything, and who I KNEW wouldn’t agree with my beliefs (for understandable reasons). I hid them because I knew that, I think. It wasn’t clear to me at the time, as I truly thought it wasn’t important, but politics do reveal things about a person and what their values are. I will say I have never lied about the care I had for all of you. I understand it hard to see, given my past actions (which are unquestionably inexcusable), but I was blind to the internal contradiction that it was. I cared, but disconnected the people in my life from my politics because I “didn’t think it should matter”. It does, as I have come to learn. I apologize for the way I handled that, which was (understandably) as a liar and a manipulator. I hadn’t been intentionally doing it, but I acknowledge now that it was what had happened, and that certainly hurt many.

There have been hurtful things said about me, but I understand where they came from; Hell, the tweets I posted were targeting hundreds of people I had following me, and thousands in larger communities. Those tweets were heinous (and still are; my opinions are drastically different now) and I know they were not easy to stomach. I do not excuse them in any way, and I have since learned from them. I apologize to any victims who had been triggered by the tweets. They were harsh and insensitive, and certainly not true. I, in no way, excuse what was said then; your experience is valid, and any reaction you had to my tweets was as well. This also goes for the POC who I hurt with my tweets. It was disgusting of me to post such a thing and to harbor the opinion. I have since learned and come to understand the problems inherent in our system, and I apologize for the pain I caused.

I had been approached a few times about my beliefs; once prior to the callout, asking about my opinions on Kavanaugh, which I went off about on a snap to someone; if said person is reading this, I apologize for the shock of that moment and for my immature handling of it. A second time after, on instagram, regarding my political opinions. I went off in a wretched way. I debated from some place of “moral superiority” (that was certainly not true, though) and said things I know were hurtful to not only that person, but to so, so many connections from this website, and countless others. People who meant something to me. Not citations or studies, not some stupid subjective political opinion, but people.

Deeply, more than anything, I am sorry for the pain I caused this community. I feel like I tore something in everyone’s heart. Not to say I think so highly of myself as being that influential, but because I was someone who projected only positivity, and to have that image ripped apart when reading the disgusting tweets on my twitter no doubt caused harm. I suppressed that then because that’s what I tend to do, but I’ve been reflecting, maturing, and acknowledging what I did and I knew I had to properly apologize. Not type something up about ~uuu why can’t we agree to disagree~~ to post before abandoning the site, but something real. That is what I hope this can be for all of you. It does not change the hurt that it caused at the time, or the person I was then. However, I hope I may be able to demonstrate that I am not that same person with ill in my heart and ignorance of political opinions and their place in the lives of others, especially LGBT and POC.

Also, just to clear the air, I know there was confusion about if I was in the LGBT community or not, or if I was lying. I can clarify I was not, and never have, lied about that. What I identified as at a given life stage was truly a part of my person at the time and what was right for me then. In 2018 when the callout was written, I was growing more comfortable in being feminine, but I still connected heavily with masculine energies and pronouns. The same stands for today. Feel free to ask about this if you have specific questions.

All that said, my political alignment today and since November 2019, not really lies with either party. I have not been a Trump supporter for some time, and view him critically today, especially with much of his harmful rhetoric and actions. My father view(ed/s) him very positively, and part of my reasons for backing him so unquestionably in 2018 was due to his influence. I’ve fallen out of the political scene and I believe it’s especially important now, more than ever, to care for those in our lives and our community. We cannot look to the establishment or any in power. You’ve all kept that in mind from the beginning, and I applaud you for that. I lost myself to politics, and it took me nearly two years to find my way back to something that should be simple to understand.

Thank you all for helping me grow when I needed to. Thank you for the friends I had made, the community I had established, and for the memories. I will not immediately disappear after posting this; I won’t be reblogging anything of course, but I will be checking my inbox and any DMs (they should be open, but please let me know if they’re not!). Anon will be off, as I feel it would be better.

Thank you!

Also, please don’t call me by the name in the callout. That made me really uncomfortable to have my birthname there when I was merely testing it out at the time to see if I could return to it. It did not feel right & it was merely a period of re-experimentation before settling on my identity once more. Please call me Silver. Thank you.

EDIT: I am a nb boy (he/him) & have returned to being comfortable in this identity since 2019/20. I will be transitioning soon. I’d appreciate respect in that regard. Since Summer 2019, I have been seeing a therapist and working through deep rooted trauma which led to the discovery of an incredibly fractured sense of self, which partially manifested in my political views and the hypocrisy and contradiction present in the self that I was on Tumblr in 2018 (happy, accepting, “do-no-evil” vibes) VS the self I portrayed on the twitter rightraichu (judgemental, argumentative, self-absorbed). This is, by NO means, justification for how I acted. Recognizing that I have several conflicting selves within me has helped me to be more attentive to contradictions in who I am, and how manipulative I can be. I recognize and have been working through the false faces I wear when I, in truth, have rather low emotional (not cognitive) empathy. Again, not an excuse, but an explanation I hope might help you understand me. I am, by no means, a healthy or whole person. I have a lot of demons I’m working though. And that is my burden to bear. I am so sorry that I didn’t recognize things sooner and seek help so that I could prevent from ever reaching the point that I did in 2018. But, the past is in the past and all I can do now is recognize that I am figuring myself out. I wish you all the best. Things have been rough lately. I hope everyone has been coping alright. Take care.

#zorasdomain #drama #apology

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arcanaheadcanons · 5 years

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Hi there! I hope I am not disturbing you! I was looking for some good arcana fics and found yours and loved it uwu! Do you take requests? Do you have some rules? Since I am in angsty mood I don't want to ask something that would make you uncomfortable! I'll send in my request and you can answer it of you can and want to. How would the main 6 react to an MC struggling to stop digging their nails/hurting themselves. If it's too triggering I will understand if you don't answer. Thank you :3

hello! this is a lengthy ask so i’m gonna break down my answers to your questions:

-you are not disturbing me! the only reason i haven’t posted lately is because i just got a new job and i’m still figuring out how to balance work and life. i welcome all forms of talk

-i have not posted any actual fanfics! so your statement on that confuses me a little. i’m guessing you’re either referring to my really long idea posts, or you have possibly found a fic based on one of my posts, in which case please send that my way because i would love to read

-i can certainly take requests! no one’s done it yet but i’m cool with it. rule-wise i probably won’t take very graphic or nsfw prompts because i want this blog to be something that everyone can enjoy (but all of you are free to dm me that stuff)

-thank you for the polite and considerate ask! self-harm such as scratches etc is not triggering to me personally, but i will tag this with a trigger warning in case it makes anyone else uncomfortable

HOW THE MAIN 6 REACT TO SELF-HARM

the first thing asra does – after healing any open wounds, of course – is blame himself. he is distraught that it could have come to this and that he didn’t notice sooner. what did he do wrong? why didn’t he bring you on any of his journeys? why did he never tell you he loved you until it was too late? it wasn’t supposed to be like this. he brought you back for a second chance. all he ever wanted was your happiness.

nadia is completely at a loss. she has never encountered this sort of problem before, and she doesn’t know how to help you. she brings you tea and gives you some time alone. late at night you find her in the library, surrounded by every psychology book the shelves had to offer. she assures you that she is fine and that she’ll do her best to understand your pain. though she appears calm, her act is betrayed when her voice cracks from the tears she has refused to let out.

julian finds out when he tends to your injuries and realizes they weren’t accidental. he’s seen this sort of thing before, but he didn’t think it would happen to someone so close to him. and, as is usual for him in dire situations, he panics. he begs you not to do it again. he writes you letters (because he sometimes gets too emotional to get the words out) detailing how much you mean to him. you get the impression that he’s trying his best to help, but he doesn’t know where to start.

muriel doesn’t bring it up, but he’s 1000% more worried around you than he’s ever been. he stays close to you, never touching but just… hovering. he somehow gets even more distant in conversation, like he’s too busy imagining worst-case scenarios. if he can’t be around for whatever reason, you spot inanna following you at a distance, watching. even though muriel enjoys being alone, he knows the dangers that come with loneliness.

you didn’t even know that portia figured it out, but one day she drags you away from investigative work to build a pillow fort. as you sit in the new fort, talking about life, she pulls a heavy blanket around your shoulders and says that the two of you need to talk about your problem. she says that she isn’t here to judge you, and that she loves you, and if you ever need someone to lean on, she’s here for you. she also offers to inform the others and form a support network for you. when the talk is over, she grabs more blankets, tucks you into the fort, and makes dinner.

after lucio asks “why do you do that?” and you give him a number of explanations, it eventually becomes clear that there’s no way you can get him to understand. but he doesn’t treat you any differently for it. instead, he offers a plethora of activities to take your mind off of things. gondola rides. shopping excursions. back-alley knife fights. lucio has always been in a constant state of activity, but he becomes determined to drag you into it. he argues that you can’t hurt yourself if you’re too busy having fun, and he swore to protect you, even from yourself.

#tw: self harm #the arcana #asks #headcanon #asra #nadia #julian devorak #muriel #portia devorak #lucio #tw #angst

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exobyharu · 4 years

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PCY - Ch5

Chapter 5 - All about you

(Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3)(Part 4)...(Part 6)

Summary: PCY does not expect to see you again. Ever. Except in less than twelve hours, he’s about to, once again. This time, he admits that he deserves a punch in the face.

⏰ 9:09 AM 🌏 Hotel (S), City of (L) 🌞 It’s sunny but everyone’s too out of it to actually care 👥 YN, Park Chanyeol, Kim Junmyeon, Byun Baekhyun, EXO’s manager (mentioned)

Notes: After a decade, I am finally back! My biggest apologies for taking forever. I tried to make this one a bit longer than usual. Expect more regular updates! I’m sorry that PCY swears a bit here too.

Words: ~2,300

💙💙💙

Twenty-one missed calls and twelve text messages on his personal phone, all from Junmyeon: they were ominous tells that Chanyeol ought to postpone his scheduled return to the studio. Just when he finally saw the wisdom in what at first seemed like punishment by isolation, his plans of returning with news of a productive break were dashed the moment he woke up to his work phone vibrating to another message, this time, from EXO’s manager.

“Who is the girl?”

The question needed no further elucidation.

Just leave her alone, Chanyeol thought, and then he groaned, pressing his face against his pillow because he was never going to see you again, anyway. What’s all the fuss about?

It was nine in the morning, and four hours of sleep seemed inadequate, considering that he had spent at least an hour packing that evening, and the rest of the night, taking advantage of the unexpected surge of inspiration that had finally come after weeks of uninspired efforts.

He was certain that this song finally had all the missing elements that the writers at SM always complained about. He, himself, was amazed by how smoothly he had managed to put something together at three in the morning, too. Still, this was the song they had always wanted from him and he was five hundred percent sure about it.

It turned out that he just needed to quit being frustratedly self-absorbed and instead, see everything in the eyes of someone else. When he did, the landscape shifted and ideas flowed in. You were the one who made this possible for him. You made him realise that it was probably more sensible to derive inspiration from what was out there, rather than generating egocentric works that other people hardly related to.

A tremendously simple concept. How had he not even considered this?

There was something about how you were able to read into his skilfully-concealed ego problems and this made him even more self-aware. It was one thing to hear it from his friends, and for that, he had been careful ever since. He was confident with the control he had on his narcissistic tendencies. But hearing it from you, who had just met him, made you an unforgettably helpful clairvoyant.

“I think that’s how you can reach out to more audiences,” you told him last night, gingerly munching on a biscotti and possibly, launching an underhanded attack on his ego. “Stop writing about yourself. Write about what’s out there.”

“Like what?” he asked you, burning with so much eagerness that you probably felt the intensity of his stare. Stop writing about yourself. That was a headshot.

“Hmm… Well, let’s see…” you trailed off, swiping through his phone, and scanning the lengthy compilation of his serially rejected compositions. You may as well be a speed reader, seeing how you had managed to reach the end of it so quickly. That was another detail that he forgot to ask you about last night. He will never know then.

“I’m sure this will sound great when I listen to it later, but like I said, it seems that this whole thing is about having a good time,” you explained, stealing a quick glance at the way he kept his fidgety fingers tightly interlocked on the table. Chanyeol caught that and made sure to keep the signs of his bubbling anxiety in check.

Just listen, he had to remind himself. What are you being so nervous about?

“Look, I’m no writer, but if you really want to write a love song, the feelings that I want to get need to be more dynamic than what all of this gives me.”

Operational word: dynamic. Again, the point was that he lacked experience and hearing about it was getting old. He leaned in closer for emphasis – also to make sure that he did not raise his voice in frustration. “You want me to write about things I don’t know?”

You shrugged, showing him the same easygoing attitude as if the idea was naturally forthcoming at the very least. “You can always write about wanting to know instead. You know, how you would rather, or think it would be? After all, people tend to yearn for things they don’t have. It’s one that we all have in common, in my opinion. It’s a universal feeling that’s relatable.”

Longing, huh?

Was it a simple insight? It seemed more like your current state of mind that slipped through. He needed you to voice out more fragments from your internal monologue to confirm his suspicion, but you did not give him that. You scrunched up your nose instead. “Not everyone dreams of a fancy car and a supermodel for a girlfriend, Chanyeol.”

Your comment made him uncross his legs. “Yah! Quit judging my life already, will you?“ At the same time, his knee hit the underside of the table. You were both startled as everything on it shook. Tall people problems. He could not seem to switch off his klutzy side when it mattered most. It made you giggle to see some of his coffee splash onto the screen of his phone. “And I’m not attracted to female supermodels!”

Growing unfazed by his usually exaggerated responses, you raised a speculative brow. “Let me guess… But female supermodels are attracted to you?”

Chanyeol flashed a lopsided grin on purpose. “I do have a mostly-female fanbase, so I can’t say for sure that–”

“Again! My main point, sir,” you interrupted, with a playful roll of your eyes. “If you wanna add to your influence, write about other things.” He almost thought that you were really going to poke his nose with your finger. He guessed that it was just your snarky side showing itself. “Be proactive and do some research by listening to other people too. I’m sure you’ll find more feelings to write about.”

Hence, that night marked the beginning of a more dynamic Park Chanyeol, who would create art and music that may deviate from the typical industrial material he felt that he had pretty much exhausted already. Creation was his passion and he had you to thank for making him realise how he had boxed himself up too much because he was afraid to express his own vulnerability, which, ought to be the point in the first place.

This was why EXO’s main rapper wrote a fucking ballad. And it was a ballad that he could not even sing. But he wrote it and it did not matter to him who sang it. He would rather have someone else do it justice. All that mattered to him was that the song made it through. He wanted to reach out to people, and strangely, it mattered to him that you heard it too. He wanted you to hear your words played on the radio someday, knowing well that you were part of the creative process. You, that girl whose shitty day he tried to turn around, and whose underlying melancholic disposition he wished to uplift but cannot.

Will you ever find what you were looking for? Will your family ever understand you? Were you really unemployed? Or was it something you chose to say so he would stop asking questions already?

He will never find out because he will never see you again. That said, SM just spent wasteful money on hiring somebody to tail him while he was away. What was all the fretting about? Junmyeon was probably going supernova over nothing of substance and their manager had to be getting drunk on his trust issues again. Both of his phones were ringing simultaneously now, and he was about three rings away from answering one and tossing the other across the room.

Junmyeon or Baekhyun? Choose your own adventure, he thought, rolling to his side and sighing as he wearily brought both of his phones close to his face. Probably for the first and only time ever, he chose Baekhyun.

“PARK CHANYEOL!”

Eyes wide and mouth in a frenzied snarl – there had to be no other look on Junmyeon who was now yelling at the other end of the line. Chanyeol was not even surprised to know that it was him using Baekhyun’s phone. It was Junmyeon or Junmyeon. There was no choice in the first place. He half expected the possibility, and just like that, his day was shot. He rose from his bed and pulled out the curtains to see the rest of the city going about its business.

A kajillion other people with stories to write about, he remembered you say. Your voice resonated from somewhere in his head, effectively drowning out the endless buzzing of the phone he held at least a foot away from his ear. When Junmyeon had calmed down, Chanyeol finally started listening in.

“… and since you would not answer their calls, everyone’s expecting me to offer an explanation. They won’t stop pestering me and I would be in a much better mood if I did not have more urgent things to do. Listen, I don’t care wha–”

“I was asleep, okay?” he interrupted, dragging his voice and feeling the weight of exasperation on his tongue. “You can send all those calls to me now. Thank you for taking shit for me.”

“Yah! Don’t hang up!”

“Then how am I supposed to talk to them?!” Chanyeol barked. It was his first instinct, knowing well that the last time he got yelled at like this was when he was falsely accused of spreading their unreleased material online. Surely, how he chose to spend last night was not as much of a mortal sin as a breach of their contract. Because just now, Junmyeon sounded like it was much worse than that.

“Forget it. We’ve dealt with the reporters.”

Reporters? The rapper’s pulse ran cold as he instantly froze where he stood.

“We just need to get you out of there with your security detail. The staff is arranging–”

“Yah! Hold up!” Chanyeol heard the nervous rasp in his voice as panic slowly claimed the frustration that initially controlled him. “What do you mean? Why are there reporters involved?”

“Of course there are reporters involved!” Junmyeon howled. “When you go out on a date looking as you are, Mister Park Chanyeol, with a girl who received ten dozens of roses from you, OF COURSE people will take pictures and talk!”

Chanyeol’s fist flew out, punching the air in front of him. “The he- …How do you guys even know this?!”

“You mean how does social media know about this? It’s all over the internet, Chanyeol. Check your phone! Check GTN27! Wake the fuck up!”

“I am awake! And I am checking my phone now!” he went, nervously fumbling for the other phone that had finally stopped ringing. His fingers trembled, not even able to key in his password properly. It sent his mind reeling, not sure about how much he wanted to find out. Did they discover who you were? Were fans stalking you already? And the media? Were you even safe? The mere fact that they knew he sent you flowers meant that they knew your room number.

“Look, I’m sure it’s not what you think. YN would not–”

“We know,” Junmyeon’s tone was abruptly much kinder and Chanyeol knew that this was because there was finally someone else with him, wherever he was. There were people, in fact. He must have stepped out of a room or something. The rapper was relieved that all the yelling was finally over, at least for now. “Listen, YN YLN? We know she’s not responsible, okay?”

“You–” he choked out, eyes wide and tilting back as the realisation finally hit him. “She’s with you?!”

The immediate response that he got was the voice of Baekhyun, distinct in the background. He was asking for his phone. A second later, Chanyeol heard a whine that was cut off by the sound of a door slamming shut. There was complete silence once again.

“Yeah. We found her before those undercover reporters at the hotel lobby did. You can thank the staff later,” Junmyeon said, his stern voice echoing through what seemed like their empty dance studio.

“Is she okay?!” Chanyeol exclaimed, his eyebrow twitching as he attempted to hold back his emotions – whatever it was that he was feeling. Anger? Worry? Extreme impatience? “Let me talk to her!”

“She’s with the staff.” Junmyeon was dismissive and it was clear that the guy was not going to let him talk to you. “People on the internet dubbed her Biscotti Girl and she hated it. That’s why she gave us her real name. She would not say anything more after that.”

Biscotti Girl? More than the ridiculous nickname, Chanyeol found himself closing his eyes and smiling in relief because it seemed that your identity was not revealed. It was all that he could ask for at the moment. The rest, he could deal with much later. This was all his fault any way.

“Don’t worry about her. I made sure she’s comfortable. Right now, we’re working on getting you here as soon as possible.”

Right. It was difficult to see sometimes, but Junmyeon was on his side. He had always been. “Now, I’ll quit it with all this leader bullshit. As your brother, is there something you’d like to tell me?”

Other than dumb excuses? Chanyeol did not think so.

“I’ll explain everything to you when I get there, hyung,”

His voice was even, but his mind was racing decathlons for possible explanations that provided you the easiest way out of this predicament. If the entire company had his back no matter what mess he got himself into, he wanted to make sure that you at least had him. It had come to this, after all. He can only imagine how much trouble he’d caused you. So much for writing a song to make you feel better. The song was not even enough to save him this time.

Chanyeol pressed his forehead against the window and groaned.

You. Fucking. Genius.

💙💙💙 - to be continued -

#chanyeol #chanyeol scenarios #park chanyeol #exo scenarios #exo #park chanyeol scenarios #exo fanfiction #kpop scenarios

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busterofbeing · 5 years

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Aspect Analysis: Life

Greetings! I’d like to first apologize for the long delay in content; things have been crazy lately. Don’t worry, however! I’ve got plenty of ideas already in the works! As I mentioned in my class analysis of the Mage, I’ve decided to first analyze singular classes and aspects. This way when analyzing Classpects I don’t have to give the lengthy explanations of all the implications of the Class and Aspect; I can just provide a quick and to the point summary and provide links to these singular analyses. Alrighty! Here’s an analysis on the aspect of Life!

Summary

Life is the aspect of health, growth, nature, vitality, nourishment, and kindness. The challenge of the Life-bound is knowing how to balance helping themselves and helping others. The Life-bound tend to make great healers, helpers, cultivators, cooks, and therapists.

Extended Zodiac Definition and Analysis

“Those bound to the aspect of Life are the universe’s healers. They are concerned with the betterment of themselves and those around them, as well as the onward march of positive progress. Deeply empathetic, they have an intuitive understanding of others suffering and the best way of righting those wrongs. If you’re poisoned, chances are the Life-bound have something for what ails ya. This applies to both physical and mental suffering, though it might not be a cure you’ll like. They also have the tendency to put others needs before their own, which never ends well for anyone, because the Life-bound can grow bitter if they feel their own self-care has had to be shunted aside. At their best, they are great listeners, caretakers, and nurturers. At their worst, the Life-bound are passive-aggressive, and pushy-they’re certain they know best.”

In summary, the Extended Zodiac states that the Life-bound are healers (obviously), and that they care deeply about helping others, and/or growth (onward march of positive progress). However, they tend to put others before themselves (Jane with Jake, anyone?), which is what the Life-bound struggle most with. They can also be pushy, as they believe they know best. An extreme example of this point would be someone who would try to help others, even though they really don’t need to want help. However, the Life-bound are still generally good-natured, they just want to help others, kindness and growth are very important to them.

Analysis + Character Breakdown & Evidence

Life is the aspect of health, growth, nature, vitality, nourishment, and kindness.

JANE CROCKER, the Maid of Life. Jane is a maid, one who creates their aspect or creates through their aspect for themselves. Jane is at her happiest or full potential when she is creating life. Over the course of her narrative, her desire for “making babies” is very prominent. Heck, she even creates life (Nature!) on her planet when she initiates trickster mode, and has an affinity for baking, particularly as her pre-scratch iteration, Nanna. Jane really is a Nanna though; she wants children, and she’ll create more life; whether that’s making children, or making food and growing the existing ones. (I hope using two semicolons in one sentence doesn’t come off as too pretentious.) Overall, Jane is a kind character. She wants the best for her friends.

FEFERI PEIXES, the Witch of Life. Feferi is a witch, one who changes/manipulates their aspect or changes/manipulates through their aspect for themselves. Witches also tend to “break a rule” of their aspect. In this case, Feferi’s rule-breaking is the creation of the dream bubbles. These allow players to keep existing as ghosts after all of their selves die, which is basically cheating death to a degree. I’d argue the ending of her moriallegience with Eridan was effectively “changing” life for herself. By breaking up with Eridan, she changed her outflow of positive growth and emotional health for herself. Additionally, she wants to redefine culling as care for misfit trolls, not a death sentence. This belief would break the rules of the Alternian society Doc Scratch had established.

MEENAH PEIXES, the Thief of Life. A Thief steals their aspect or steals through their aspect for themselves. Meenah best demonstrates this when she uses the tumor to kill all of her friends at the end of their session so they may live on in dream bubbles. She’s “stealing” the lives of her friends, but in a typical, active “I’m going to mess some stuff up, just accept it.” thief way. Meenah is still nice (if she likes you), and she wants the best for her team.

Additionally, Meenah’s post-scratch iteration, the Condesce, “steals” the lives of the Alternian trolls in order to expand her own empire.

The Life-bound value kindness and/or growth.

Like I said, Jane Crocker is still a nice person. She’s kind to everyone unless they’re not kind to her. She helps Jake with his relationship issues because she wants him to be happy. Does it go over well? Of course not, because it’s compromising her own feelings. More on that later.

Feferi wants to be kind to everyone and does what she can to help Eridan and Sollux. She’s very good in redrom quadrants, with a particular knack for moirallegiance. Even in her assumed flushed relationship with Sollux, she gives him guidance, ghosting the pale quadrant. Maybe their relationship vacillates between flushed and pale…?

Meenah made some questionable decisions in her session. She pitted her friends against each other in an attempt to improve them. Keyword: improve. While the morality of her actions was questionable, she really just wanted to see them grow. It’s stated in the comic that challenges create growth and character development; Meenah wants that for her friends, but she tries to force it.

The main challenge of the Life-bound is learning how to balance the needs of others and themselves.

Jane really is the best example of this point. Jane is kind, and her helpful nature just ends up causing conflict. We see this first when Jake tells Jane about his feelings regarding Dirk. Of course, Jane likes Jake. But instead of telling Jake this, she instead bottles up her feelings and instead tries to be a supportive friend for Jake. She doesn’t want to cause conflict and hurt his feelings. This mess climaxes on Jane’s sweet 16, in which she can’t stand listening to and providing advice for Jake any longer. Jane putting Jake’s feelings above her own was bad for everyone; it made Jane unhappy, it allowed Jake to pursue a very destructive relationship, and it allowed Dirk (and his Auto-Responder) to carry out his manipulative plans and get into that destructive relationship. If anyone ever asks about the main challenges and flaws of the Life-bound, I’ll personally print them a picture of Jane Crocker’s bucktoothed face along with transcripts of her pesterlogs with Jake on the back.

Feferi demonstrates this point in a very simple way; in fact, I’d say she’s the only Life-bound player we see in Homestuck to effectively balance her needs with the needs of others. Prior to Hivebent, Feferi had been in a moirallegiance with Eridan. This relationship proved to be far too one-sided, however, and it was emotionally draining for Feferi. So, she rightfully ended her moirallegiance with him. We see afterward that she is still happy and nice, and she managed to have a quaint relationship with Sollux for a little while. Here’s where one could argue Feferi was a bit too selfish; Eridan became more and more emotionally unhealthy, and murders both Feferi and Sollux. Hussie even stated Eridan could be considered one of the villains of Homestuck. Maybe if Feferi had kept looking out a bit, she might have been able to keep Eridan under control? Or, the more likely, favorable and concise explanation- Eridan bad.

Meenah is the Life-bound in the story that demonstrates the opposite problem; she isn’t nearly kind enough to others. Sure, she wants them to be the best they can be, but she disregards their feelings and promotes growth in a very destructive and unkind way. Her methods of pitting her friends against each other just caused all sorts of chaos. If she had been more considerate and gentle, Kankri would’ve been able to lead better and Damara might not have gone off the rails. Much later in her narrative, she dates pre-retcon Vriska. We see Meenah actually gets really bored of the relationship, and she isn’t comfortable with handling all of Vriska’s emotional baggage. She eventually leaves her to fight Lord English, which is tragic for pre-retcon Vriska at first. However, both Meenah and Vriska find themselves much happier afterward. Meenah gets to be in some action and helps defeat Lord English, and pre-retcon Vriska finds pre-retcon Terezi. Meenah sticking up for her own self and feelings turned out to have a great outcome for everyone.

Alternatively, the Condesce is much more selfish. She uses the lives of the Alternian race to grow her vast empire and doesn’t care at all about the suffering that she’s put her people through. You could say she’s doing this to create a larger world for more trolls...but it’s made clear she just wants to rule it.

The Life-bound tend to make great cultivators.

Jane creates life and nature on her planet when she enters trickster mode, she is called to propagate and bring up a new civilization in the Condesce new hypothetical empire, and she (as well as Nanna) have a knack for cooking.

Nanna is also very supportive of John, more so than any other guide. She also gives him plenty of food and makes cookies for everyone. After all, John is a GROWING boy!

As stated before, Feferi wants a world where the unfit trolls are cared for. In place of this, she spends her time pre-Hivebent taking in various sea creatures and caring for them.

On pre-scratch Beforus, Feferi implements this system successfully, caring for the Beforan trolls and helping them grow up.

You could possibly say Meenah “grows” pre-retcon Vriska in the dream bubbles, by making her open to new experiences and fashion…? Eh, it’s a stretch. She also tries to “cultivate” her team in SGRUB, however, her execution is not exactly the best. Generally pitting people against each other isn’t a healthy way to make them grow!

The Condesce also “cultivated” the Alternian trolls in the same fashion by encouraging violence and culling weak trolls, cultivating stronger trolls through a twisted version of natural selection.

The Life-bound make great listeners; when they offer advice.

Jane struggles with this one a lot. She clearly wants to help her friends, but when it comes to Jake things go off the rails before the train goes 10 meters. Frankly, it’s because she gives bad advice. When Jake goes on a mega-rant to Jane later on, she holds in all of her thoughts, only replying with fake “Mhm!”’s and “Yes.”’s. Eventually, this builds and she has to let all of her feelings out. Jake naturally turned to Jane for relationship advice; I’m sure this hasn’t been the first time Jane was in such a situation. But we see that when Jane doesn’t consider herself and gives bad advice, things go south. When Jane doesn’t give advice and just listens, whoops, we’ve gone past South America and straight into Antarctica. I’ll expand upon this point in the general analysis.

Feferi was apparently a good moirail to Eridan. However, he kept complaining and wallowing in his problems, which exhausted Feferi. She doesn’t like him constantly complaining; she wants him to not kill everyfin, and wants to provide advice and guidance. Later, when she and Sollux are glubbing in the horn pile, we see her listen to Sollux while being kind and offering advice and encouragement. This is Feferi and in my opinion a Life-bound in general, at their best.

Meenah can’t stand idly listening. Aranea has to pay her to listen to her exposition, and Meenah isn’t happy when she is constantly listening to Vriska’s problems, and she wasn’t inclined to giver Vriska guidance and growth because she herself had her own problems.

The Life-bound tend to be in and/or want leadership positions.

Jane is declared the “leader” of the alpha session, which she is okay with. On Earth C, Jane becomes the CEO of CrockerCorp, which goes hand-in-hand with her Maid of Life classpect. (Creating food/life)

Feferi, as an heiress, is naturally in line to (potentially) become the new empress. Interestingly, the true aspect of the Fuschia-sign is Life, and if the Life-bound have this thing for leadership, and Life is even slightly present in all fuschia-bloods...well, that’s a topic for another time…

Meenah is in the same position as Feferi, only she is much more adamant to be a great(?) leader, a desire that is fulfilled by the Condesce. In her session, Meenah tried to “lead” and cause conflict between her friends to make them “grow”. Her attempts at “leading” the session undermined what Kankri could possibly have done to keep the session together, and was what led to making Damara snap.

The Life-bound have a unique or at times overbearing energy.

Jane has a personality like that of a cute and fun grandma...I wonder why. She has an enjoyment for her pranks and is a fun person, but as we see in her meltdown she’s got some intense emotions. Even then, the pranking system is very impactful on her!

Feferi is almost always full of Life and energy. Quite a character.

Meenah has a very powerful presence (due in some part to her thief class) and is a very chaotic force in general.

The main power of the Life-bound is healing.

God-tiered Jane has the power to revive any player once.

Nanna, as a sprite, possesses healing powers. Hussie even suggests that Nannasprite had her healing powers because Jane is a Maid of Life.

A dead god-tiered Feferi revives the Mayor in the post-retcon timeline.

Meenah’s post-scratch self, the Condesce, is stated to have used powers to extend the life of the Ψiioniic, something no troll has been shown to naturally do.

Other Comments and Analysis

At their core, the Life-bound have good intentions. They are kind, value growth, and want to help. If you know a Life-bound, I’m sure this is fairly obvious.

Now, let’s wrap up their challenge. I feel the Life-bound typically fall in one of two categories; they help others so much they exhaust themselves, or they don’t help others enough. I’d say the former would be the more common challenge. The Life-bound do want to help, they just need to learn how to properly balance the needs of others and themselves. Learning this balance would make a Life-bound very effective, and they’d find themselves to be much more emotionally secure and happy. (As a Life-bound, I can attest to this).

Ooh! Leadership positions! As I’ve mentioned, the life-bound tend to be in or want leadership positions- they just might not be the BEST at it. Breath and Blood are the two primary leadership aspects. Players of other aspects can still be leaders, but typically a Blood or Breath player will lead unless there isn’t one in a session. Their helpful attitude and knack for growth would make them a decent leader, however. They just might be a bit too pushy about it. I’d say this is one the better aspects for a leader to possess, besides Breath or Blood.

Hobbies and talents! As I’ve said before, I’d imagine the Life-bound would have an interest or proficiency in cooking, gardening, and counseling. This is not a rule, keep that in mind. I’d say that their helpful nature would manifest itself in whatever their interests may be, though. For example: if a Life-bound loved to do a sport, they’d be the ones to encourage their fellow teammates; they might even bring snacks or water!

Parting Words and Thanks

Whew! One aspect down, 11 more (and 13 more classes) to go! Whoop.

Thanks again to optimisticDuelist for the life aspect card as well as his analysis of Jane Crocker. It helped a lot to better understand Jane and the aspect of Life!

Thank you for reading!

#Homestuck #classpects #classpecting #aspect #life #jane #jane crocker #feferi #feferi peixes #meenah #meenah peixes #nanna #nannasprite #condesce #hic

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madamhatter · 4 years

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kiboumukou inquired: /)///v///(\ Send “/)///v///(\” to see how my muse would talk about yours to another person. | accepting ! | @kiboumukou

Designated and condemned to the outside world was all that Sophie Hatter feared as the ropes of control were slowly sliding out of her palms, burning her in her descent from powerlessness. Alas, with proper reconfiguration and a reality check, the eldest of three begrudgingly left the safe confines of her dorm room and gathered her composure. After all, the sole reason why she would push herself, despite the blatant plunge into a depressive episode, was only one of two lives that made her life worth something.

“Sophie, relax, no one is going to notice us.” Huffing and rolling her eyes, Lettie shifts her weight in the white-wired chair with her flat, dark as night hair falling over her shoulders. With the length of her pale finger, she twirls her finger into the tips of her hair, eyes unable to pry away from her evermoving, ever restless sister. Compared between the two, black hair versus brown hair, ocean eyes versus earthly eyes, Lettie could reason as to why her eldest sister would’ve been on the alert as she was the most beautiful out of the three they belonged to a recognizable fashion company with some popularity overseas. Well, the second-born would be noticed. As for the eldest, given her mousey habits, she’d soon scurry than ever conduct interviews outside of controlled environments and agreements with limited availability.

“Lettie, you can’t ever be too sure--” Sophie fans her hand, awkwardly scooting her chair to face her sister as they both were comfortably settled outside at the cafe’s patio. Without needing to acknowledge her younger sister, the brunette could already envision how Lettie could tilt her head back, brows quirked as if ready to snark back. “And I would appreciate no comments about the ridiculousness of my claims, thank you,” she hurriedly whispers, quick to reason with her otherwise bull-headed sister. Though, on the contrary, it was all three of the sisters that were as stubborn as to what they held in their name as Hatters.

“Speaking of you,” Lettie slowly drums her fingers on the tabletop, observing her sister preoccupy herself with her sketchbook, “I haven’t heard a lick about you since I got here. I’ve spent all this morning being probed with questions from you about myself. Which, frankly, I don’t mind. But, I haven’t heard a thing from you! Y’know, I thought you being out here would help with your problem--”

“Enough,” The eldest of three doesn’t raise her gaze from the pages yet her tongue is quicker to maintain the conversation. “If Martha and I didn’t say anything, you’ll be wasting away in that office and alcove still,” Lettie sharply replies, eyes narrowing. Yet, no satisfaction comes with how unresponsive the eldest is, “sooner, you’d be falling to the floor and just like father--” A pulse of indignation swept through Lettie, yet she lifts her head, deep breathing to balance her emotions and thoughts. Her voice dips into a whisper, brows pressed in worry, “Sophie, is this even helping? Can you stop acting for one second?”

Plummeting into silence, Lettie’s shoulders straighten. What she sees is far too cold, calm. Sophie straightens herself into her seat, eyes burrowing her sister. Only by the shadows filling in her sunken sockets was there a color of emotion -- an eerie one, at that. “If you’re this insistent, I’ll tell you.”

“Truthfully, the student body at Hope’s Peak Academy are remarkable subjects to observe. Getting a brief grasp of the divide between the main course and reserve course is as stark as a mustard stain on mother’s fine china collection. The entitlement in several of my peers in my year, and even in the younger students in my course, is absolutely unfathomable. Yet, entitlement is a poison for the bright future minds that are coddled by this system.” Sophie gestures her hand into the air, eyes averting in her lengthy explanation. “The arbitrary nature of ‘Ultimates’ and how finicky their titles can be is more than a headache when needing to understand the abysmal and brutal culture focused on schools in Japan. However, needing to comprehend all that I must is a part of my work, whether or not I like it.”

“Hope’s Peak Academy, as well, has provided the most interesting set of acquaintances I could acquire for my line of work. Not at all bafflingly, being surrounded by so many peers of my own age is still a hurdle that I must get over. After spending half of my life with associates practically twice or thrice my age, I’m a failure through my atypical socialization. However, this does mean that the student body, regardless of the course they’re in, provides me more opportunities in learning different behaviors and developing future plans, if I see them fit for it.”

Apathy laced thoughts wallow in the unmasked Hatter, her body adjusting to recline against her seat, ankles crossed, but her left hand flared out in deliberation. “Compared to my previous school, there are far less blue-blooded belligerents who are as desperate to entangle and meddle in affairs not meant for them. Or, even worse, begin those scandalous affairs within the student body, inspired their own air-headedness and self-absorption. Alas, who am I to prescribe such a truth to the Academy? There’s plenty there to question in regard to the integrity and soundness in the Academy's foundation and structure. Yet, that could only be the pessimism in me too caught up in the obscure.” The woman turns her chin, dissatisfaction souring her cold expression for a frown. “Or it is just me too caught with everything.”

Pleats of winter white cascade over the horizon, seamless and untouched snow decorating rooftops, window sills, tree branches, and sidewalks. Pressing her chapped lips together, a hiss of opaque air leaves her lips, a puff of white shortly ascending and disappearing into the stratosphere. Elbow angled on the armrest, the young woman perches her chin on top of the falt on her scarred-infested palm. Countless and unrecognizable denizens stroll through the snowy blocks, living their own lives, all of which left the young woman in a soundless daze -- yearning for all its worth, despite how convoluted understanding it was. What did she want anymore? How could she want when fate mangles her like she was its own marionette?

“I find myself in the oddest predicaments.” Dismissing her ever-turbulent insecurities and unanswerable problems, the eldest daughter waves her hand into the chilly air, grumbling with a shine of suppressed irate hidden under her tongue. An utterance muffled against the calloused flesh of her palm, another air of frustration and uncertainty filters into the morrow. Typical fashion for the Hatter, silently left to her devices and surrounded by thorns that dig and exsanguinate the remnants of childish longing in her heart.

“Life is is still the same,” shrugging, Sophie’s attention remains on the picturesque downtown of Bunkyo, Tokyo. “I still don’t see why I was chosen,” she confessed as her voice was muffled by her palm, her brows knitting. “Goodness, this school makes the poorest of choices,” she shakes her head.

“However, it’s unexpectantly different,” a glimmer returns to her eyes as she lifts her chin, her face fully visible, “in the rare cracks of free time I could garner between school and work, there was some normalcy. For example, one of my classmates happens to be an avid reader like myself, but he tends to keep to himself. But, there are moments of disarming laughter and banter, something that clears my mind, if not for a moment--”

However, the Hatter raises her hand, closing her eyes to muffle her tired laughter, “I wonder if this is why he refers to me as batty. Half of the time I must talk his ear off whenever I’m on break.” Sophie fingers slowly begin to tread through her locks, dividing between the rustic brown and shimmering silver. “Mind you, he does his best to keep himself in order when he notices how out of the loop I am. Several times, his disposition is rougher than it needs to be before he realizes the errors of his ways. I suppose that’s natural for him--”

“Hajime is interesting. He’s one of the students from the Reserve course, not at all someone who beats around the bush. Set and ready to speak his mind as he doesn’t follow polite procedure when his heart is set in stone. Though, that’s only when someone could get under his skin, which he may not realize it’s easy most of the time. I’m not comparing him to an open book, but he’s certainly a hedgehog on some days.”

“I’m not sure how it all began, truthfully. One moment I’m going between my classroom, conferences, to my dorm room without second thought on most days. In the next moment, I’m bunching up my skirts and trying to find him like a bloodhound from the Scottish Yard. It would be wrong to say he’s easy to talk to; I believe it’s ill-mannered to consider someone ‘easy.’ As far as a conversation partner, he’s amongst the most ‘normal,’ even if seems bothered by the notion of normalcy. Actually, I take that back. it’s just nice to talk to him; I enjoy hearing his opinions, listening about topics far and over my head. When he steps away from his bluntness and defensiveness, he’s warm, considerate--”

“He’s a lanky fellow, with spring green eyes always wide and quick to reflect his emotions and with messy brown hair with an ‘antenna’ sprouting on the top of it. I would consider him a head and a half taller than me, give or take. Physical appearance aside, there’s a remarkability about him that he’s stupidly blind about. Any compliment sent his way is met with skepticism and questioned. He isn’t a step shy of doubting himself whenever he can be considered different from how he sees himself. I sometimes cannot comprehend why he cannot see what I can.”

“Maybe that’s why I find myself conversing with him as often? Misery loves company and I suppose as one who’s as self-dejected as he is, it only becomes second-hand to identify another cut from the same cloth. He’s as determined to be unique but, he sells himself short and his own goal...is concerning.” Sophie sinks into her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. “At least, what he implies in every day talk is more than revealing; he’s mastered devaluing himself over, possibly, years of modeling from everyone else defining of who he’s to be. Or, he overanalyzes what he ‘lacks’ in a title. It is easier for a young mind to simplify problems to simple solutions.”

“I just--I just don’t understand why he can’t see I what I see!” Sophie sighs with frustration, one hand now gesturing into the air. “Opinionated, awkward, determined, understanding, and caring-- He has a nice smile but he goes off deflecting it! Imagine his face if I even dared expressed my thoughts on his laugh! He’s probably going to tell me to bugger off! But, will I? Of course not!”

She pinches the bridge of her nose, inhaling deeply, slowing her words from her fuming rant. “There is so much more there but he sets himself back and it drives me insane. I might be the ‘Mad Hatter’ by those who make fun of me, but good Lord, I might end up becoming that the longer I think of it! He’s a good person, and maybe he just doesn’t understand how rare it is--”

“---And maybe that’s why it’s all the more worrying,” Sophie hushes. “A good person may not always know that they are, maybe feel inadequate about something that doesn’t feel right. A good person -- they could be used too. They could be taken advantage of and they may believe it’s for the better.”

“I--” Sophie shakes her head, wrinkling her nose. Configuring herself, Sophie sits up proper in her hair. “I don’t have much to say on the matter nor do I know how to define it. All I know is that his company is appreciated-- Maybe it’s a friendship--” Yet that train of thought dissolves to unbridled laughter, shakey and downright sardonic.

“But, that can’t be the case. There’s no time..no point. The moment that door opens, I will be dragged back to my fate. Back to the eldest of three, the inheritor after father’s work, the one meant for...” Sophie drums her fingers on the table, staring down at the unfinished lineart on her sketchbook, briefly meeting eyes with her sister, before turning reclusive altogether.

“Are you satisfied now, Lettie?” Sophie provides a forced polite smile, hollow yet well-trained to fool common eyes. “I promise you; there’s nothing happening in my life or will be happening anytime soon.”

Lettie, upon being on the receiving end on one of Sophie’s infamous rants, plainly taken her glass, sipping it slowly with her brows raised. “Hm.” That sounded quite doubtful.

#( verse: the ultimate ᶠᵃᶦˡᵘʳᵉ hatter | school life )#( checkbooks inquiries and much ; answered asks )#kiboumukou #long post tw #long post #[ my original draft was deleted thanks to tumblr -- so have this instead! ]

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frauleinsmaria · 5 years

Text

The Village is a Glow (2/2)

A/N: This is the final part to my CSSS gift for @eastwesthomeisbest ! Thanks for being patient with me while I recovered from Christmas retail and tried to work out some of the kinks in the story. I hope you enjoy this as much as I’ve enjoyed getting to know you! Special thanks again to @profdanglaisstuff for beta duties and @cssecretsanta2k18 for hosting this event.

Summary: Killian Jones credits moving to the Big Apple for getting his photography career off the ground. He also has it to thank for causing his first run-in with Emma Swan, who makes him question every photo he takes afterward.

AO3

Coming to the conclusion that there was something extraordinary about Emma Swan was fairly simple. Putting his finger on just what that something was, however, was anything but.

The first time, he’d chalked it up to coincidence; a change in his camera settings, the way the light reflected off of the lens maybe. The second was enough to make him question things.

The problem was finding her. Everything he knew about Emma was limited to her name, her age, her taste in movies, and that she worked at a bookstore in the city. In a place like New York, he might as well be looking for a needle in a haystack. He’d tried looking her up on social media, feeling both a bit nosy and disappointed when he scrolled through the list of accounts of people with the same name who obviously weren’t the blonde consuming his thoughts.

Killian soon found himself just hoping that his good luck she’d referenced the day of their first meeting would work in his favor again. He’d found her unintentionally twice, and what was that they said about the third being the charm?

What would he even say to her the next time they inevitably ran into each other? Hello, Swan. Funny thing, I’ve noticed this odd golden haze over both of the pictures I took before encountering you and wondered if you would be willing to provide an explanation. Are you a witch, fairy, magician, or involved in some other kind of odd supernatural activities I’m not familiar with? Because that definitely wouldn’t cause her to question his sanity (even though he’d questioned his own every single time he looked at either of those two photos and the golden glow that permeated both.)

In the meantime, he went about his regular routine and kept himself busy with work. Ruby and Belle had been ecstatic over the photos he’d emailed them not long after the impromptu photo session in the park. Both women sent him lengthy messages thanking him and yet again offering some kind of payment for his time and the pictures. His only request was that they consider seeking him out again next time they were in the city.

(He knew it was no coincidence that the last photo with the mysterious golden glow was the picture Ruby posted on her Instagram account first and Belle made her profile image, both women tagging him and insisting all their friends consider him for sessions in the future.)

Good luck must have been on his side after all, because two weeks later, he was walking home on a Friday afternoon when he saw a familiar face framed by blonde curls standing in the front window of a store with a sign claiming itself to be Booth’s Books. He’d found it- more importantly, he’d found her. Of all the bookstores in New York, Emma Swan was working at one less than six blocks from his apartment.

Killian quickly ducked inside, the bell on the door announcing his arrival as he made a sharp left and found himself face to face with Emma.

“Oh! Killian?”

“Hello, Swan. You don’t know how glad I am to see you.”

“Do you need help finding a book?”

“Er, not exactly.” “I really hate to bother you at work, but would you have a few minutes to chat anytime soon? Or I could come back later when you’re free.”

“I’ll get a break in thirty minutes if you don’t mind waiting. There’s a coffee bar at the lounge area in the back.”

“Thank you, love. And don’t rush on account of me; I’m in no hurry.”

Killian made himself a blonde roast with cream and sat back to flip through a random magazine on a nearby table while he waited for Emma’s shift to end. True to her word, she appeared at his side half an hour later, wearing a red leather jacket over her white sweater and was pulling a gray knit beanie on her head.

“I thought maybe we could go for a walk and talk about whatever’s on your mind? The store is nice and all, but I’m sure you get why I can only stay in the place where I work for so long afterward.”

“Of course, love. I’m following you.”

She led him out of the store and into the chaos of afternoon traffic, both of them darting around other people to keep up with each other, Killian desperate not to lose her before asking the questions that had been boggling him for days now. He followed her to City Hall Park, only fitting considering their last encounter.

“I thought we may have a better chance of having a legit conversation here.”

“Aye.” The park wasn’t empty by any means, but they could speak to each other coherently without as many outside interventions.

“So, uh, why is it that you were so glad to see me? Unless you couldn’t find Granny’s on your own and needed me to give you directions to curb your grilled cheese cravings.”

“Afraid not- although that does sound quite appealing, now that you mention it.” He took a deep breath. “Swan, I’m not sure just how to approach this, but- wait.” He pulled his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans and brought up the picture of the sun he’d taken right before their first meeting. “What do you think of this?” he asked, holding it up for her to see.

“That’s really neat, especially the way the sun looks with the golden haze over the photo. Did you take it?”

“I did. I took this one as well.” He swiped through a few more photos to find the one of Ruby and Belle, showing it to her next.

“Killian, these are great pictures...but I doubt showing me your work was the real reason you wanted to talk to me.”

“It’s not so much the photography I’m concerned about. Okay, it is, but not in the way that it sounds. You see, Swan, none of my other photos look quite like these two. And these were both photos I took promptly before running into you.”

Her eyes widened. She bit her lip and glanced away from him. “So, what are you insinuating here? You think I help your ability to take good pictures?” She forced a laugh, but he could tell she was now suddenly worried.

“I honestly don’t know what to think, love. Other than this is all too concrete and specific for me to believe it was a lucky coincidence on my part.”

“Well, we have established that you tend to attract good luck.”

“I think there’s a lot more than luck behind this, love, and something tells me you’re thinking the same.”

Emma made a noise that was something between a sigh and a groan. “Would it be that hard to chalk it up to fate and that you’re a good photographer?”

Maybe this wasn’t Killian’s best idea. She evidently didn’t want to discuss whatever it was she knew about the photos. As much as he wanted answers, he didn’t want to risk making her any more uncomfortable than she already seemed to be. “I apologize, Swan. You’re not obligated to tell me anything, photos or not. I’ll let you go now, if that’s what you like. I’m sorry again if I made you uncomfortable and for taking up your time.” He turned to leave when she called out his name.

“Wait.” Was she having a change of heart? “Never in a million years would I have seen myself asking this question to a guy I’ve met all of three times, but since you seem decent and you’re so perceptive: do you believe in magic?”

“A month ago I would have said no. Now, I’m starting to feel open to anything.”

“So, I have certain...abilities,” she began. “There’s no solid explanation, but I can essentially create certain auras or illusions based on my emotions. It doesn’t happen all the time, mostly when I’m feeling pretty strongly about something. They usually look like a trick of the light or something, so most people don’t even notice something’s off unless they have tangible evidence afterward.”

“Like my photos?”

“Exactly. I’m sure it was hard for you to see past it considering it probably didn’t show up in the rest of your photos. I didn’t even know it could be captured on camera until you showed me just now.” Her eyes kept flitting from his to the ground. This wasn’t easy for her to share with him.

“That’s quite extraordinary, Swan.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “So you don’t think I’m crazy yet? Not gonna call the cops or run for your life?”

What kind of people had she had this conversation with before? “I take it people you’ve shared your abilities with in the past haven’t been very accepting.”

“That would be an understatement.” She barked out a laugh. “I’ve been called a psycho bitch by guys over this before.”

“Well, I can’t lie to you and say it’s easy to wrap my mind around all of this just yet, but I have no reason to believe you aren’t being truthful love, photos or not.”

“You really mean that?”

“Aye. Your secret is safe with me. And I can delete those two photos from my social media pages if that would make you more comfortable.”

“No, it’s okay. Two pictures aren’t enough to tip people off about anything; they probably just thought you used a different lens or filter.”

There was a moment of silence before Emma noticed the time. “I’m really sorry; I have to be back at the bookstore in ten minutes. August and Marco have been great to me so far, and I don’t wanna do anything that could change that.”

“I understand, Swan. I’ll walk back with you now if that’s alright.”

“Sure, thanks.”

They were silent on the walk back to the bookstore, Killian feeling relieved to have answers about the connection between Emma and his photos, but also unsure of where this would go next, if anywhere.

“Killian?” She asked as they walked up to the store’s entrance.

“Yes?”

“Would you, uh, be up for getting coffee again sometime? Or hot cocoa, whatever. If it’s too weird that’s fine, but, I dunno, you’re easy to talk to and I really appreciate someone who doesn’t freak out over a conversation like the one we’ve been having.”

It was the last thing he expected, but he would’ve been a fool to say no. “Of course. Nothing would make me happier.” They exchanged numbers with her promising to get in touch soon.

He received his first text from Emma not two days later. I could totally go for another grilled cheese from Granny’s if you’re free tomorrow afternoon.

With onion rings?

Fast learner. I like you.

He showed up to Granny’s the next afternoon twenty minutes early, eager to see her and learn everything about herself that she was willing to share, whether it involved her abilities or not.

Emma arrived just on time, red-faced and wearing the same jacket and beanie from a few days earlier. She dropped into the seat across from him and let out a deep breath. “Sorry, I ran from the store. I thought I was gonna be late.”

“Quite alright, Swan. I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead a few minutes ago and ordered the same thing we had the last time. You can get something else if you wish, of course, but I’m familiar with your penchant for grilled cheese.”

“You might be my favorite person in the whole world,” she said, beaming, just as the waitress walked over with their orders.

They ate and spent the next hour or so unofficially resuming their conversation in the park. It had been anything but small talk, yet they still barely knew each other. She told him about how she became aware that there was something different about her at five years old when her foster parents were in a heated argument and a cloudy haze formed around them, evidence of Emma’s distress. But she didn’t discover more details behind this part of her until later.

“I was thirteen,” she told Killian. “I had run away from the group home and was at some supermarket trying to swipe food. Someone caught me, but Lily popped up out of nowhere and covered for me. She told me she could tell I was scared; apparently, if two people with these same kinds of abilities are close enough, you can feel the other person’s emotions instead of just seeing whatever manifests from them.”

“That’s…” he struggled for the right word to say. “Well, that’s remarkable, love. So you two were able to bond over your shared capabilities?”

“Not really.” Something told him that story didn’t have a pleasant ending. “But it gave me an idea of how to spot other people like me. I’ve found half a dozen or so since, mostly in smaller areas where it’s easier to detect. It’s a nice reminder that there are other people like me.”

“I appreciate that you were comfortable and willing to share all of this with me, even just what we discussed in the park,” he told her as they left the diner. “I hope you know that I don’t take it lightly.”

“I do know. And it may not make sense, but I trust you.”

“I’ll make sure you won’t regret it.”

“Good. Go out with me?” she asked without missing a beat.

“Come again?”

“Go out with me. Y’know, to dinner, or something. Or not,” she quickly added. “That’s fine too.”

“I would love nothing more. I only have one request, if you’re up for fulfilling it.”

“Uh, sure, I guess?”

“Would you give me the honor of taking your picture?” Killian gestured to the camera bag at its usual place on his arm. “I’ve gotten to take photos that you’ve impacted twice, but something tells me one of the marvel herself would be quite spectacular.”

“You’re such a dork,” she laughed. “But okay. What should I do?”

“Stay just as you are, love,” he said, pulling out his camera and taking a handful of images while the afternoon sun was in the perfect spot to highlight her features. He quickly brought up the last photo in his media library and couldn’t help but smile at the result: Emma, beaming, green eyes full of light, and, just as he expected, that obvious golden glow he’d become so familiar with.

Killian used to think he owed New York for getting his photography career off of the ground. Now, he knew he owed the city for introducing him to Emma Swan.

#cs ff #cssecretsanta2k18 #eastwesthomeisbest #captain swan #cs au #captain swan ff #captain swan fic #cs fic #ouat fic #mine #captain swan fanfiction

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yeonjuins · 2 years

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oh yay!! I’m glad the anxiousness is subsiding now ♡︎ and yeah no I honestly feel that. I’m doing a lot better now so I’ve just been thinking about the things I could do during my summer break and for my future and such but maybe analyzing ? could be a good word?

oh that seems like a really good idea,, yes it does make sense ♡︎ I promise I know what you’re trying to say SKDKDK ( im trying to give an explanation back to show I understand what you mean but I can’t put into words I just have a mental image-) but did doing that satisfy you? Or make you think of other things that could make you content on a rest day?

That’s okay because we all have our moments where we feel like that, we just have to take a step back and look at things the we have done so far and just go along with that, (I hope this is making sense,, I’m sorry if it’s not or if it’s like a little hard to grasp) if it helps try looking at the things you do have together and let that motivate you to get back on track and realize you’re doing a good job. Even though it doesn’t feel like enough, you have your whole life ahead of you to do more so just try to ease up on yourself for right now ♡︎

and please, no need to apologize, I really appreciate that you were comfortable enough to tell what’s on your mind ♡︎ I didn’t feel burdened or anything :) I hope getting all of that out gave you some relief ♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎

Yes we will and just know I am so proud of you and I am giving you lots of hugs ♡︎♡︎♡︎

AH YES! You showed her 😤😤 I’m so happy for you!! and oohh okay,, good luck with your scoping :)

yess I do have exams coming up and it’s during the first week of May and I am actually not as anxious about them as before (honestly just ready to get them over with) I have been doing fairly well :) ♡︎ since it’s nearing the end of the school year, it’s not much to do now so not much to complain about now KSKSK I’m also in the process of moving out of my dorm, the last day to move out is May 7th but I want to be done by the end of the month just to get it over with and because I can technically be moved out by then since all of my exams are online instead in person

ahhh you thought of me JSJSJ I totally didn’t mind the wait though ♡︎ but yes humming <3 shuffle has been neglecting that song for me because it has NOT been coming on :( I’m gonna go listen to it now since it’s on my mind and I haven’t heard it in a while SKSKDK ( also unprompted but I literally don’t know why (maybe i was in my yj feels that day or something SKSKSK) but when I first listened to humming it reminded me of yeonjun-

also also hiccup by valley came on shuffle (I couldn’t remember if it was one of your songs or from a playlist of song recommendations that my friend gave but eventually figured out it was yours since I went to your audios page) and I really liked it, it caught my attention when it first came and I had to play it back another time since I enjoyed it so much

Also another random thing (I tend to ramble when I’m in a good mood KSKSKD) I tried to copy and paste a picture in the ask just to test it out and it would say that there was a problem with submitting so I guess you can’t trick them with copying and pasting pictures- KAKSKS

(lengthy response!)

hello my love !!!!!! i just wrote your letter hehe i'm going to send it off before work tomorrow... hopefully it should arrive to your house in 2 weeks or so?? my handwriting is like... horrible and i was trying to fit everything i wanted to say within this small tiny card so i apologize if i sound a bit off? there was literally no physical room for me to be as animated as i usually am online D:< but i tried my best

ouu your future... god thinking about the future always gets me excited as well (": as of late, i haven't been doing so just because there's so much currently in the present i have to do (hustle culture 🤺🤺 kill it, abolish it, i simply want to LIVE in peace !!!!!!!!!!!!!!) what have you thought of so far? usually whenever i was in a big rut, i used to 'manifest' my whole future and look forward towards it whenever i could achieve it... i haven't done that recently but perhaps that's because i'm living in the future i once wanted (": in terms of what i want my future to look like now? i'm not quite sure ;0 perhaps i'll write to you about that in my next letter or ask once i figure that out PAHAHHAH

mmm doing that did satisfy me for the time being. i guess being able to visualize it is nice but one of the biggest things i've learnt is that, ahem, self awareness does not equate to self improvement. i don't say this to undermine any realizations or... whatever (LOL) things i've come too, but i feel as though for several years i've been very self aware yet the improvement was quite marginal regardless. (i sound very pessimistic right now- i'm not i swear ASHDUOJALWM i'm just being honest !!)

): thank you my love... i rmbr on new years eve, an anon wished that the new year would treat me more kindly and gentle... for some reason, those words stuck with me a lot. 'i hope xyz treats you more kindly and gentle' sounds so warm... ): i feel as though i am a huge bundle of emotions and i don't now how to control any of them ;; but i guess that just all comes with maturing, and i'm frankly not as mature as i paint myself to be

i hope you know, it put a smile on my face reading how you prepping for your next exam isn't making you as anxious as it did previously (": i'm very glad for you my love.... ahhh it really is ending the near of the school year for you isn't it ;; in canada (and in highschool) you end school within june... seeing people graduate before i do makes the senioritis levels go even higher and i'm slightly dreading it if i had to be honest ):< regardless, the school year is still ending for me too (just at a slower rate) and i'll be graduating... insanity !!! moablr gets to witness me graduate LMFAO !! ouu are you more of an online person or in person learner? definitely when covid first hit, i was MASSIVE chilling because i'm attached to my computer all the time... so this gave me an even bigger excuse to be more attached LMFAO i still think i'm an online learner but i like the routine of going out once in a while to get some sun and touch some grass (":

i love hiccup sm (i didn't even know i recommended you that song... that song is on my 'songs that remind me of mark' playlist LMFAO) especially the line where it says "like that night we have in toronto, when you pulled me up in the roof" my brain (unfortunately /j) goes to him... 🤺🤺 i'm glad you liked it though my love hehe

pls pls ramble on ! it makes me happie you're in a good mood mwuah but NOOOO hmm i think you can probably copy and paste in the link to the image instead? instead of the direct image itself? mayb try that and see how it goes ;0 i do not mind copying and pasting images to see it (a little bit of a surprise on my end PAHHAHA)

#asks #humming anon #i teared up for some reason writing to u ASHIODJKMLAWDW #I WAS LIKE #MAN.... I LOVE HUMMING ANON... ):

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dancerdiaries · 6 years

Text

Review of my dance major experience

I graduated from college a couple weeks ago, so here I am, offering my opinions on the dance program at the school I chose. I’m choosing to keep the school anonymous. If you are a high school student looking for a school with a good dance program and you choose to take my review into account, feel free to message me and I’ll give you the name of the school so you can apply or avoid it as you choose. Also, I hope you find my comments useful.

Overall, I give my university’s BALLET area a 3/10. My explanation of that score is pretty lengthy, so I put it under a “read more” for tidiness’ sake.

This is a review of the ballet area only, since that was my emphasis. I didn’t interact much with the contemporary, folk, or ballroom areas, so I don’t have anything to say about them. Also, this is just from my personal experience and is in no way a completely accurate assessment. But I’m also not the only one from this school who has these opinions. Anyway, here goes.

GOOD POINTS:

It’s generally a positive atmosphere. The students and faculty are overall friendly and supportive (there were exceptions, of course). There isn’t an insanely competitive atmosphere, either--at least, not to the degree of other places I’ve heard stories about (razor blades in a rival’s pointe shoes...what kind of jerk does that?!?). No body shaming from the other students or from the teachers. That was pretty nice. No bullying, ever.

The education was pretty good. A lot of the students are brought up to a pre-professional, or even professional, technique level by the time they graduate. I’ve improved way more these past three years than I have in my whole life, probably.

The ballet area recently started giving students the chance to choreograph on one of their companies, complete with faculty feedback. The contemporary area did that ages ago, and I’m really glad the ballet area followed because the school really needed opportunities for ballet choreography. I’ve heard that a lot of dance programs don’t offer students opportunities to present their own work at all. I was pretty lucky.

BAD POINTS:

Oh, boy. I have a lot to say.

This university markets itself as an all-inclusive, positive, “we don’t give up on anyone,” “everyone belongs” kind of place. So I was a little disappointed when that wasn’t the case in the ballet area.

My biggest problem with the ballet area is that the favoritism is insane. The faculty pretends it doesn’t exist, but I always got the vibe from them that a student is only worth teaching if the student is already an amazing dancer. If you aren’t perfect, you aren’t worth their time. The top ballet level/company (same thing--the top level is their top company) gets all sorts of special privileges. First, the teachers help them reach a professional level and help them find jobs and stuff like that. They don’t do that for anyone else. Those that start the dance major in the lower levels don’t get the help they need to succeed. Which is stupid, because isn’t that the professor’s job? To help ALL of their students prepare for the professional world?

These top dancers also get probably 90% of all the performing opportunities the ballet area offers. They go on tour, they get their own on-campus show in the big, super-nice theater, they get to perform in the lower-level company’s show (like excuse you. This is our time to shine. You get plenty of times to shine of your own. Go away), they get to be in faculty works, dance films, photoshoots, promotional videos, etc. etc.

Guess what the other dancers get? Nothing. Nada. Unless you end up in a friend’s senior project. Or if you manage to get on the lower-level company, which is hard, as I’ll explain later.

These top dancers get to break the dress code!!! They’re that special!! (Well, ok, they don’t get to break it much. You can wear lower-than-usually-allowed backs, but heaven forbid your leotard straps are thinner than an inch.)

No wonder these dancers are snobs. The teachers spoil them rotten.

My second-biggest peeve is that it’s nearly impossible to get onto said top company. The top company tends to have the same members year after year. Seriously, the cast didn’t change much at all until this past year, and that was because a lot of people graduated. Basically, auditions for this company are just a formality. The directors already have their dancers picked. Why these dancers even show up to the audition is a mystery, because they’re already guaranteed a spot (I think. That’s what it seems like). Heck, this past year, they picked someone for the company who wasn’t even going to the school yet.

This means that each year, there are only four or five open slots. And generally, unless someone really good comes along, they tend to pick their new members exclusively from the lower company. Although I think they’re trying to get more freshmen into their ranks recently, which is nice. Unless you’re not a freshman or not on the lower-level company. Because then you have no chance at all.

The lower-level company is a bit better. Only about a third of the company is repeat members. But still, the directors really like to pick people they’ve worked with before.

So basically, fifty dancers show up to audition for maybe--maybe--fifteen available company spots, despite there being about 30-40-ish (depending on the repertoire) company spots that exist. This means many dancers get turned away every year they try out.

Which sucks if you consider the fact that you need to be on a performing company to graduate in the dance program. That’s what happened to me. I couldn’t get my performing credits until my last semester, when I finally got onto the lower-level company--which, BTW, only happened because only 13 people showed up to the audition (because this was the first time this company was available in the spring semester and no one knew about it), and so by default everyone got in.

(Well, senior projects and faculty works give you performing credits, too, but as I said, only the best dancers are picked for faculty works. So basically, you better hope you have friends who are seniors.)

I have a suspicion that the directors choose company members based on body type in addition to technique, despite claiming not to. All the top company members look the same: long limbs, skinny bodies, few or no curves. Again, the lower company is better--there’s a little more diversity in body types--but all of their repeat members I’ve known have ballet bodies. I don’t know if this is, in fact, from directors’ biases, or if that body type is a mechanical advantage that gives those dancers better technique.

Also, all the top-company dancers have prettier faces. Kind of a small detail, and could be a coincidence, but it’s a suspicious detail nonetheless.

That’s dangerous. That can be really dangerous, and I came to understand that firsthand. The last two times I auditioned before I finally was accepted onto a company, I was at the right technical level and was still rejected. I’d also failed big-time at a summer workshop and competition the summer before the second audition while all the thin, pretty girls in my study abroad group won scholarships. So after that second audition, I began to worry that I wasn’t being picked because I was fat, or ugly, or both. For the first time in my life, I started skipping meals and counting calories and wearing makeup. I’m not usually worried about my looks. And if I got super insecure about my body, then other girls who do care about how they look are at a much higher risk of eating disorders because of the ballet area’s biases. And that’s not the kind of problem I was expecting to see at an “all-inclusive, everyone belongs” type of school. I was disappointed, and angry. The school told me they were better than that.

So yeah, 3/10. The education is decent, but it’s even better if you’re a good dancer to begin with. It’s a better atmosphere than most schools, but it’s still pretty political. And I’m pretty ticked that the university lied to me about their values.

#dance #ballet #college #dance major #long post

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spectrumscribe · 6 years

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pour another glass, and keep ‘em coming.

a commissioned TMNT 2012 fic for Donnie and Karai having some bonding time about not being fully appreciated by their families, both current and prior.

Karai isn’t sure what she’s expecting as she throws on a housecoat over her tank top and sweats, marching out of her private quarters and towards the main greeting room for Foot allies. Why any of her brothers would come calling at this hour of the morning- nearly completely light out, hours before any of them would dare rising to the surface- is beyond her. All she knows is that she’s three kinds of annoyed and five kinds of pissed off, because like them, she is very nearly nocturnal and she’d been sleeping, dammnit.

Karai all but kicks open the door into the lounge, and storms inside to turn her scathing glare on-

-Donatello. Donnie. Who hardly seems to leave that lab of his, and tends to keep to his own lane unless it’s necessary. They’ve gotten closer lately, yes, but not so close he’s entitled to interrupting her downtime like this.

“Explain yourself,” Karai snaps, and Donnie gives a tired shrug.

“My family are a bunch of assholes,” He says in a flat tone, and hefts a crate. “I brought beer. Can I stay the day?”

Karai nearly snaps again, and then hesitates. She eyes the crate, which has tall bottles sticking out of it as well as cans.

“Is that red wine?” She asks.

“It is if you’ll drink it with me.”

“Give it here,” Karai commands, and takes the bottle her brother hands her.

One room swap and two glasses later, Karai is lounging on her favorite loveseat while Donnie continues to brood in silence; draining his third beer and exchanging it for the glass of red wine he’s still nursing.

“You shouldn’t mix like that,” Karai comments as he downs the last half of it. “It ruins the taste of both. A chugging everything doubly ruins it.”

“I’m here to feel sorry for myself and possibly get very tipsy, not be pretentious about how I drink,” Donnie snidely replies, and seemingly to spite her, reaches for another beer can. Karai clicks her tongue in disgust and sips her glass.

Karai waits for further explanation, but gets none. Donnie just slouches in his seat, glaring aimlessly around Karai’s private living room, and honestly, only one of her siblings is allowed to pull that act at a time. And last she checked, Raph hasn’t taken to smiling unless under duress.

“Spill,” Karai says, drawing a narrow look towards herself. She gestures around them. “You’re camping out in my secret base, so the decent thing would be to tell me why.”

“I gave you wine, that’s payment enough,” Donnie says irritably.

Karai rolls her eyes. “Come on, Donnie. We both know you wouldn’t risk going aboveground this time of morning unless it was important. Tell me if I should be worried about some impending disaster while you drink yourself into a coma.”

“I’m a mutant, I don’t know if I can actually do that with my metabolism,” He says factually. Karai raises one eyebrow, fixing a glare on him. Donnie meets it for a long moment, and then flops his head backwards with an almighty sigh.

“Fine. I had a fight. With my brothers. And now I’m not speaking to any of them because they’re all unappreciative little shits who don’t understand half of what I’ve done for them over the years. Raph accused me of having it easy. Easy, he said. Easy how? Just because I wasn’t getting myself punished all the time for starting fights didn’t mean things were easy for me.”

He stops to take a drink of his beer. Karai takes the pause as a chance to pour more wine for herself; she can already feel this turning into a lengthy conversation.

“So… you had a fight. And that’s new how?” Karai is familiar with how much her half-siblings bicker and quarrel amongst themselves. If they’re not working together like a well-oiled machine, they’re stuttering along like a broken jalopy. There’s no in between for them.

“It’s not, that’s the problem!” Donnie says empathetically, gesturing sharply. “We always fight about the same things and we never get anywhere. Just keep going in circles trying to- to one up each other, or shut someone down, or just can’t. Can’t something. I don’t know.” He takes a long sip of his beer, glaring at the wall. “They don’t respect me.”

“No?” Karai asks, because from the outside perspective she doesn’t see why they wouldn’t. She’s seen some of the toys Donnie produces in that lab of his, many of them incredible and highly dangerous.

Karai’s own weaponry department still can’t hold a candle to her brother’s accomplishments, much to her occasional chagrin. The tech her brother scrapes together out of literal garbage is nothing short of miraculous, and underestimating that tech has usually backfired spectacularly on their enemies.

“Nope,” Donnie drawls angrily. “and I know I deserve it. Maybe I’m not the leader, or- or a natural fighter, but I work hard, dammnit. I don’t have to be a genius to know that without my inventions and medical knowledge, one or all of us would be dead right now.” He slouches further into the chair, curling up on himself. He looks less angry, more sadly frustrated. “I’m not asking for much, but would it kill them to just… thank me? Admit I do more than tinker all day? Sometimes… sometimes it just feels like they only give a shit when I’m doing something for them, and then… they just forget to say thanks, or even acknowledge I did anything. It pisses me off.”

Karai watches Donnie as he sits and feels miserable for himself, idly taking sips from her wine. Then she sighs.

“You know, I used to feel the same way. About the Shredder,” Karai admits, and she feels palpable surprise from her brother. She looks at him. “What, you think he was father of the year? He started training me in ninjutsu soon as I had the mental capability for it. I was already being groomed as heir by the time I was five.” She tilts her head; giving a wry, somewhat bitter smile. “The Shredder wasn’t the sort of teacher who accepted anything less than the best, you see. So I couldn’t ever be anything but that.”

Donnie is quiet for a moment, giving Karai an unreadable contemplative look. Then he leans forwards in his seat, setting his can on the coffee table between them.

“What was it like?” He asks, tone cautious. “Being raised by… the Shredder.”

Karai looks down into her red wine, which is about the same color as the blood she’s seen spilled over the years. Most of it by her own hands, or her adoptive father.

“It wasn’t all bad,” She distantly hears herself saying. “But… not always good.”

Donnie silently listens to her, and Karai, probably because of the alcohol in her system, finds herself talking about things she never really has before.

“I usually enjoyed it. Winning tends to make you feel like you do. The few times I trained with other apprentices and students, I was top of the class. Better than anyone my age, and usually better than anyone years older. Though it’s not like anyone tried particularly hard against me; I was the Shredder’s daughter. No one wanted to risk crossing him. That way laid discreet disappearance if you were lucky, or being made an example of if you were not.”

“I’m not bad at ninjutsu, but I just never managed to be great compared to my brothers? I think too much, or think not enough of the right stuff? I mean- I built half our kitchen and living room and bathroom appliances from scratch, and I still didn’t get as much praise from our father. It wasn’t ninjutsu, so I guess it wasn’t as impressive to him. Would’ve liked to see how he coped without the modified hairdryers I gave him; maybe then Splinter would’ve felt more appreciative of my inventions.”

“I don’t remember if I wanted to do it or not. All I remember is that he wanted me to, and expected me to, and so did everyone else. And if I hadn’t… I don’t know. He never physically punished me, but I suspect if I hadn’t executed that woman, I wouldn’t have been allowed back home for at least half a year. Isolation was usually how he opted for reprimands. No contact with my few friends deemed worthy, and no admittance to the main base. No contact with him, either.”

“Either I bend over backwards to solve all our problems at once, or I’m not doing anything useful. Maybe my experiments look like I’m sitting in one spot for days in a row, but that level of mathematics and science takes concentration! It’s not as flashy as fancy katas, but it’s just as valuable in the long run. More so, in fact! My brothers don’t get that. They’ve never gotten that. If it doesn’t go boom, then it’s garbage, right? Never mind half of the work I do is just keeping us safe from humans. It took me months to finish a program that would delete only footage of us from the city’s CCTV system, and they never even said thanks.”

“Admittedly, and don’t you dare ever tell anyone this, I used to actually be… quite anxious. It got easier the older I got, but also worse, sometimes. The Foot Clan is highly prestigious, even with the damage Shredder did to it in his later years. Before all that… we were a powerhouse. Indomitable. I couldn’t ever slip up in front of allies or enemies, or I’d risk embarrassing us all. An heir can’t look incapable, and he never, ever let me forget that. Imagine being a scrawny preteen, and never being allowed to make a mistake under any circumstances.”

“If I screwed up, usually it meant someone might die. They never say so much as thank you, but in the moment they certainly put on the pressure. If our getaway vehicles choked, we were fucked. If a smoke bomb didn’t have the right balance of ingredients, it wouldn’t go off correctly and we’d be fucked. If any of the mechanical gear I’ve made over the years quit working right mid-battle, we were fucked. And if by some miracle we lived through the disaster, they’d blame me.”

“Honestly, I think he stopped hugging me around ten. Maybe nine. About the time he started giving me exclusively weapons for gifts and praise only when I fucking killed someone.”

“I don’t remember the last time my father hugged me, actually. Or the last time he paid attention to my work instead of how distracted I was during training. Hard to be focused when I haven’t slept in three days, you know?”

“I loved him, sort of, but it turned into respect for his authority after a while. He couldn’t even manage real familial love as a father in the end. Bastard.”

“I loved him, yeah, but I don’t think he ever really… liked me for who I am? We never really connected like that, honestly.”

“I was his favorite, but only because I was the best, and the last piece of my mother’s legacy. Likely for nothing else.”

“I wasn’t his favorite, and I don’t know how I feel about that, even now. Wish he’d at least tried to show interest in what I loved.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t have had to deal with that.”

“You deserved better than that.”

“We both did.”

Somehow, they end up on the couch together, slumped on either end of it and feeling… better, actually. Mutual complaining about their imperfect families/family, as it turns out, is quite cathartic.

Wine and beer helps, too.

Karai sets down her glass on the coffee table a final time. She’s not drinking any more, not today. She might be more than human now, but the tipsiness is really starting to get to her. Donnie seems to be done as well; holding a glass of his own that’s been empty for ten minutes now.

“…you can’t ever tell anyone what I said today,” Karai says quietly, but firmly. “If you do, I’ll-”

“Have my shell for it?” Donnie rolls his eyes. “You used that phrase enough times when you were still trying to kill us.”

“Tch. How you four wiggled out of that every time, I’ll never understand.”

“Honestly, neither will I.”

Karai laughs, the morbid humor of their former relationships actually funny with the wine sloshing around in her. She leans drowsily on her palm, smiling to herself.

“You know, I’m glad I didn’t,” She says absently. “Things would’ve been a lot different if I’d shuc-succeeded.”

Donnie snorts at her slip of tongue. “Well, same to you. I wasn’t exactly holding back, either. Woulda sucked if I killed you ‘fore we figured this- blood feud stuff. Yeesh.”

Karai turns an eye on her brother, and raises an invisible glass at him. “Cheers to having not accidentally on purpose killed each other because of our fath-father’s fighting.”

“Cheers,” Donnie replies, raising his actual glass at the empty air of Karai’s. His fingers slip around it and it falls, hitting the carpet with a dull thud. Karai doesn’t even care; she’s too wrung out and she can always buy more anyway, if it broke.

“You know what?” Donnie says suddenly. Karai raises an eyebrow, too tired to do much else. “You’re… not as bad as I used to think you were.”

“No?” Karai chuckles, because similarly, her opinion of Donnie has improved with time as well.

“Nah. I mean, you’re still kinda a- a bitch to people-”

“Oh really, now-”

“-but yeah. Coulda done worse for a sister.”

Karai shakes her head. “I used to try to murder you,” She says dryly, though his words make a softly warm spot in her chest. She’d never had any family besides the Shredder, growing up.

Donnie shrugs. “In this family? Still could’ve been worse.”

“Well, then I’d like to say I could have done worse for a brother,” Karai says seriously, blaming the alcohol for her sentimentality.

“Given your pool of choices here,” Donnie says with a smirk. “I’d pick me, simply ‘cause I manage to be the most polite half the time, and always bring alcohol to the party.”

Karai snorts in an undignified fashion and kicks his shin. He kicks her back, slurring snark at her as she does at him.

They keep talking, even though they nearly fall asleep mid-conversation. It’s the horribly familial kind of setting Karai never got to experience as a lone clan heir, and even though her sleep schedule is ruined and she’ll likely have a hangover, she finds it’s a weird touchy-feely experience she wouldn’t mind repeating.

Commission info & Kofi link.

#spec commissions #Donatello #Karai #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #My writing #honestly i think i'd go for a stiff drink two after what they've been through #cope ya know #tw: drinking #tw: child abuse #emotionally manipulating or neglecting is abusive folks #just so you know #oh and the explanation of where don got all the alcohol?#online shopping and the motto eat the rich #its not like trump would have noticed anyway #bitch doesn't even do his taxes

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hvnriks-archive · 4 years

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HENRIK — personality types.

zodiac: pisces

“ pisces is a sensitive water sign, ruled by the planet neptune. your sign is fluid and tends to be sympathetic to the underdog. it’s so easy for you to feel other people’s experiences that they can obscure your own. you can be vague and escapist, but make up for it by being compassionate and intuitive. self-care doesn’t always come naturally to you, but it’s incredibly important.

... pisces may seem quiet but they are incredibly strong and have a very strong sense of right and wrong. their moral compass, along with their gut, guides them well. this zodiac sign is characterized by empathy and expressed emotional capacity. a pisces is rarely lonely when they are by themselves, and have an active imagination.

... pisces tend to take in everything around them, and they are great people to ask for advice on pretty much anything. while pisces has strong convictions about the best way for them to live, they have a "live and let live" approach when it comes to others, and are accepting and nonjudgmental of all. pisces are also selfless, they are always willing to help others, without hoping to get anything back. ”

hogwarts house: hufflepuff ( -gryffindor hatstall )

hufflepuff is the most inclusive among the four houses; valuing hard work, dedication, patience, loyalty, and fair play rather than a particular aptitude in its students.

“ students belonging to this house are known to be hard-working, friendly, loyal, honest and rather impartial. hufflepuffs are known to have a strong moral code, and a sense of right and wrong. hufflepuffs are usually accepting of everyone. students in hufflepuff are known to value everyone and treat them as equal. ”

patronus: dragon

fuck man idk i don’t have a lengthy explanation for this one other than the fact that its HICCUP so obv he’s gonna have a dragon patronus

myers briggs: INFP-T

mediators - quiet, private, free spirits who view life as an endless series of idealistic possibilities waiting to be realized

“ mediators value authenticity, empathy, and harmony. these personalities tend to act with the best of intentions, and they are rightly proud of this trait. that said, they may feel isolated or discouraged when other people don’t share their idealism. following tradition holds little appeal for the INFP; they prefer to do their own exploration of values and ideas, and decide for themselves what seems right. INFPs are often offbeat and unconventional, but they feel no desire to conform. the INFP would rather be true to themselves than try to fit in with the crowd.

... INFPs are accepting and nonjudgmental in their treatment of others, believing that each person must follow their own path. they are flexible and accommodating, and can often see many points of view. it is important to the INFP to support other people; however, the INFP may react strongly if they feel their own values are being violated. ”

... although mediators might want to help everyone, they may need to focus their attention and energy on one worthy cause at a time. otherwise, they can become so overwhelmed by all the problems they can’t fix that they’re tempted to give up on even trying ”

strengths: thoughtful, generous, open minded, creative, passionate, loyal to their values

weaknesses: overly idealistic, self critical, impractical, emotionally driven, conflict averse, difficult to get to know

enneagram: 2 ( wing 1 ) “ the companion ”

“ twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. they are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. they are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. they typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs.

... perhaps the biggest obstacle facing twos in their inner work is having to face their underlying center fear of worthlessness. beneath the surface, they fear that they are without value in themselves, and so they must be or do something extraordinary in order to win love and acceptance from others. unhealthy twos seek validation of their worth by obeying their superego’s demands to sacrifice themselves for others.

... when twos are healthy and in balance, they really are loving, helpful, generous, and considerate. people are drawn to them like bees to honey. healthy twos warm others in the glow of their hearts. they enliven others with their appreciation and attention, helping people to see positive qualities in themselves that they had not previously recognized. in short, healthy twos are the embodiment of “the good parent” that everyone wishes they had: someone who sees them as they are, understands them with immense compassion, helps and encourages with infinite patience, and is always willing to lend a hand—while knowing precisely how and when to let go. healthy twos open our hearts because theirs are already so open and they show us the way to be more deeply and richly human. ”

strengths:

recognizing the needs of others

awareness of their own growth areas

focusing and giving attention to present tasks

offering support and encouragement

weaknesses:

being highly self-critical or insecure in trying times

seeking praise from others

ignoring and sacrificing their own personal needs

difficulty facing criticism from other people

love language: acts of service

henrik is very much an acts of service kind of dude - he’ll do a million little things to show he cares, awkward and shy as he may be. oh do you need help with your homework ? oh can i fix that thing for you ? oh here do you need me to design this entire thing for you to solve that one small problem you mentioned offhandedly like once ? though, he is partial to physical touch as well when it comes to the receiving end

alignment: neutral good

“ neutral goods value both personal freedom and adherence to laws. they feel that too many laws may unnecessarily restrict the freedom of good beings. they also believe that too much freedom may not protect society as a whole and encourage counterproductive divisions and in-fighting. these characters value life and freedom above all else, and despise those who would deprive others of them. they are not vicious or vindictive, but are people driven to right injustice. to a neutral good being, life and the assurance of other creatures' rights take precedence over all else ”

character inspo: ??? i feel like i’m dropping the ball on henriks asdf but i actually hadn’t had any characters at the forefront of my mind for him ? and i’m too lazy to search it out oops maybe i’ll update this later

pinterest: henrik haddock iiii.

#﹤ 🐉 ﹥ a talking fish-bone . — 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 * ╱ hiccup.#﹤ 🐉 ﹥ a talking fish-bone . — 𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂 * ╱ hiccup.

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