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#or those that don't CARE about the consequences
waltwhitmansbeard · 3 days
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so i just read a post explaining why the op (and, according to the op, a lot of other people, even tho the post in question only had 32 notes, some of which were from people who disagreed with them) didn't like the cut to the crown keepers in last week's episode. while i'm totally on board with people not jibing with stuff that just doesn't work for them, i wanted offer some reasons why this seemingly hard pivot to people who are not the main characters of the story being told was a good decision to make (note good decision, not inherently the best decision, which i believe no one, including the dm, at a ttrpg table should ever be expected to make).
matt had an extremely powerful, extremely unexpected character decision dropped in his lap in the final moments of the previous episode. we don't know exactly how much time matt has between recordings, maybe a full week, maybe not, but either way, there's a very real chance that matt just did not have enough time to fully prepare a session to deal with fcg's death and what comes next.
sam now has to create a new character that a) is of a level with the rest of the party and b) makes narrative sense for him to be there. that takes time for both him and matt, and they might just need some space to work on that. when laudna died, marisha was willing to sit away from the table for several weeks because she knew that she wanted laudna to be resurrected, but sam may not want the same thing, and that's okay!
matt may want to fold the crown keepers into his main story, some or all of them—particularly dorian, whom both liam and the fans have been asking to return for a while now. dorian is clearly important to orym and the story that liam is trying to tell, and bringing the crown keepers in may be matt's way to do that.
matt—and dms generally—has always had to straddle a very fine line of making sure that his players are the main characters of their story who feel like their actions have real consequences and effects on the world, while also understanding that in reality, it doesn't make sense for half a dozen chucklefucks to have such an outsized effect on major cosmological goings-on like *checks notes* the potential release of a god-eater. this becomes especially true when you're on your third campaign set in the same world, and your players' previous ultra-powerful pcs are still around and definitely more adept and connected than their current pcs are. i, personally, think matt does a great job at walking that line, and one of the things he does that i appreciate is that he doesn't shy away from the fact that a) his players are powerful but not the most powerful and b) his players aren't the only one who care about what's going on in the world and who are taking actions to effect change. the current plotline re: ruidus is absolutely world-shaking and is causing all the divine girlies to cower in their demiplanes, so of course even the evil ones are going to be calling on their champions to help out. it makes more sense for opal to be involved (which, btw, matt has been hinting at for a while now) than not.
matt might need a fucking break! he's been doing this consistently for nine years now, and shit is complicated! handing over the reins to aabria for a week or two or three may be what he needs to not get burnt out.
dnd is an emotional game, and the entire cast might have been rocked hard by fcg's death. some space away for a week or two could help them process and regroup to get back into a story that is otherwise very stressful and action-packed.
or it's none of these! what do i know! i'm a random idiot on the internet! matt doesn't consult me on these matters! (though my dms are open if he wants to chat, i do have ideas)
i think it's tempting to think of the decisions made in and around critical role (or any ttrpg show) like those made for a television series, because the episodes are serialized and we love them so much. but this show is, first and foremost, a group of friends playing a game together, and not a carefully constructed narrative with the primary goal of entertaining an audience. the audience always has been and, frankly, always should be second to the wishes and fun of the people around that table. matt would not have asked aabria to step in and dm a crown keepers side arc if he didn't think it was a good decision for him and his players, and that priority is the correct one. we are being invited in to watch these friends have fun together, and that's a privilege that we're super lucky to have. as long as the cr story isn't doing things that are outright abusive or harmful to the cast or the audience, i don't think we should begrudge them the choices they make in the name of their own game.
again, it's okay if you're not vibing with the crown keepers! i didn't love the aeor arc of c2! not everything is for everyone! but i think accusing matt and the cast of narrative malfeasance is a bit much when, tbqh, they don't answer to us. they answer to each other.
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the-priestess-of-dawn · 17 hours
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Dying dying dying to know the full set of voicelines for Resplendent Grima but in the meantime I guess I will simply think about the two they previewed...
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The thing is, you know, Grima seems to bluffing again, because uh... "It is only natural the weak serve as kindling for the strong. Muspell's ideology aligns with my own." Grima my beloved that is NOT your ideology.
I mean, at first glance it's pretty similar to what Halloween m!Grima says...
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"Those without the will or power to resist can only be crushed underfoot. Such is the nature of the harvest." But... Grima is not saying that this is how things SHOULD be, only that this is how he views the world: as a horrible zero-sum game where those without power are crushed by those who have it.
Like, Muspell (the dragon) comes across as pretty straightforward and unironic in his callousness towards mortals and in his belief that it would be good for them all to just fight to the death. But no matter how many lines the various Grima alts have disparaging humans and talking about crushing them like worms, Grima also makes it clear that they do care. They care a lot and do not like that the world is the ruthless place they see it as.
We know Grima's REAL ideology, because legendary Grima presents it to us.
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"One person's satisfaction means another must suffer. That is the truth of all worlds. But my power of destruction is the one true equalizer."
The world that Muspell desires is in fact the one that Grima would put to an end. Grima HATES Muspell's ideology. Saying it "aligns" with his is only true in the sense that Grima believes that that harsh and depressing way of life is inescapable reality.
(Though... "If you think there's someone out there capable of leading the world with such high-minded ideas of love and bonds... I'd love to meet them." is very interesting in the context of the Kingdom of Muspell because... well, Laegjarn and Laevatein are in many ways quite similar to Emmeryn and Chrom, don't you think? And they are the ones who would be guiding the nation. Muspell the dragon says he "knows nothing" of the kingdom because "mortals are of no consequence" so... if Grima were to visit, it would be the royals he would see.)
But it does make me wonder if Grima is perhaps... a little envious of Muspell's perspective? Because saying that "a kingdom that consumes all with roaring flame" is "an ideal to strive for" suggests that... he's not there yet himself. That he's looking at the callousness of Muspell and Surtr and thinking that he needs to care less and destroy more...
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pr-incey · 10 hours
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For a while—after being exposed to the antiship movement, because goodness knows I didn't care about this when I was younger—I wondered *why* fiction and reality were so different in my head. Why I could happily see things depicted in fiction that would make me sick to my stomach or upset me to tears just from thinking of it happening in real life. I couldn't come up with a reason for this for a while, which caused me distressed and made me worried that I might secretly be a terrible person after all.
But I've done some thinking and I've figured it out. Or, rather, I've returned to the mindset that came so easy to me in the past and probably did to a lot of people before the well was poisoned.
When I see a fictional character, I don't see a person. I don't see a person like *me*, anyway. I see a person within that piece of fiction's universe; a plane of existence that is wholly different from my own. Lines and colour, words on a page, virtual drawings being played sequentially at a speed that simulates movement. Sure, the written passage, 'He had eyes, ears and a mouth' is a representation of what *I* am, and what other people around me are, but it is fundamentally a plane of existence that is *alien* to me.
An alien is something that is decidedly not human. I feel empathy for other humans because I can relate to them. I have no desire to hurt them because I either know what it is like to be hurt in that way, or I can imagine what it would be like. I know the harm it would do to them, which illicits a reaction of disgust and apprehension in me. 'That's terrible,' I think, which simply kills any desire to cause any harm to a real person or do any disgusting actions.
This is why predators are such terrible people. They are fully aware of the harm their actions will cause and then go ahead with them anyway.
But with a fictional character, it's different in these ways:
1. First of all, we have to remember that they AREN'T human and so whatever I feel towards them cannot accurately mirror whatever I feel towards real flesh and blood individuals. They're projections of humanity from OTHER people in whatever medium they choose, but fictional characters are—and I cannot stress this enough—NOT HUMAN. If I pull off the head of a Barbie doll, does that mean I have the desire to behead someone in real life? Does it mean that I MUST have the urge to behead someone in real life, because a barbie doll is a 'representation' of a person? Your answer, I'm hoping, is no. Because Barbie is not human.
2. And because fictional characters are not human, I don't have empathy for them. Not REAL empathy, anyway, the type that stops the desire to cause harm. When I 'violate' a fictional character, it illicits at most only superficial disgust because I know that character will not live with the lasting consequences of my actions. They're a projection, a facsimile.
So that might bring you to another question, 'Even if they're not real, why would you WANT to do that to them, anyway?'
That I can't answer. The human brain is weird. Sometimes, people have dark urges. If a kid tosses their Barbie onto the ground and seems to take pleasure in it falling, can that accurately say they want to push a real person onto the ground? If someone seems to enjoy a violent video game like GTA where they can run people over and shoot them to their heart's content, is that a surefire way to know that they want to do those things to real people? I wouldn't say it is. Would you?
The final thing to remember is that it's not completely black and white. A serial killer might have been 'inspired' by a violent horror story, whereas the actual author of that story is a nice, well-adjusted individual. People with the desire to hurt actual humans might make do with projections, but it does not change the fact that they actually want to HARM people. The fiction didn't make them want to do that. They already did, and probably would have even if they didn't discover said fiction. And horrible people CAN make their own 'projections'.
Generally though I believe it is obvious when someone is just playing with dolls, and when someone is exhibiting an actual desire to hurt somebody.
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queerfables · 1 day
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My impressions of 911, as at the end of 1x04:
So far I like the show a bunch!
I'd heard Buck starts out as a bit of a jerk but so far he's been a likeable one. It helps that there are (very nearly) consequences for his more outrageous behaviour.
I like Abby and Buck for each other but Abby as a character is appallingly under utilised. I feel like her role as a 911 operator underpinned the entire PREMISE of the show and yet it only took one episode for them to realise they didn't know what to do with her. She's also just... not a super compelling character? Maybe she'll get more interesting, I'm mostly mad because I think the concept is really solid but I'm not sold on the execution. The big problem with her personal life is that she doesn't have one, so it drags a bit when we spend so much time with her outside her job. At this stage I'm unsurprised she left after the first season, just because it feels like they don't quite know how to write for her.
I love Athena and oh boy is she doing it tough but I desperately need her to not use her power as a police officer to harass teenage girls. What the girl bullying her daughter did was terrible but she was still waaay out of line.
Related though, something I like about this show so far is that the characters' strengths are also their weaknesses. Buck is impulsive in ways that are good and bad; Abby is caring and empathetic, sometimes to a fault; the passion and assertiveness that makes Athena out of line with her daughter's bully is the same thing that makes her great at standing up to the assholes who deserve it. It's good character building.
I also like that characters are allowed to do shit bad enough to actually warrant censure from higher ups. And then receive appropriate condemnation for their behaviour. Often when shows try to do that kind of story line they go too soft on the characters either by over justifying why their bad behaviour is understandable or by having the consequences be wildly disproportionate to the wrongdoing in a way that makes them feel like the victim. So far 911 seem to be be striking a pretty solid balance on trusting the audience to empathise with the characters even when they do bad things and get called out by the narrative for those things.
I don't think the show has killed any kids yet, which I'm grateful for but also wary about. I'm betting they're saving that up for a real gut punch of an episode. I already cried over the mother in the plane who DIDN'T die?? If there are any big Kids Dying episodes I should watch out for maybe let me know. (I'm already aware of the basics of Bobby's backstory, though)
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anghraine · 1 year
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This is unnecessarily long, but: I was just thinking about Wickham's predation on fifteen-year-old Georgiana Darcy and then, almost exactly a year later, Wickham's predation on sixteen-year-old Lydia Bennet.
There are obvious parallels between the two incidents. In fact, they're so obvious that I think the incidents are sometimes treated as equivalent, with the consequences only differing by happenstance. I don't think that's true, personally.
There are some mechanistic sort of differences—Wickham put a lot more effort and planning into the Georgiana situation. He wanted to marry her for her money and to make her brother suffer. She had to be isolated from people who would look out for her interests, he had Mrs Younge in place, he had known Georgiana as a child and was able to exploit his own previous kindness to her as her father's godson, etc.
And Georgiana, despite all of this, and despite being swept away by a teenage infatuation with an extremely attractive man, was still uncomfortable with it. She was worried about disappointing a brother who raised her and whom she deeply loves and admires. When her brother actually showed up by surprise, she decided to tell him everything; Darcy takes pains to give her credit for this. Adaptations generally downplay Georgiana's active decision-making here, but the only element of chance is Darcy deciding to go to Ramsgate at all. He insists that he was only able to act because Georgiana chose to tell him what was going on.
This isn't meant to be an indictment of Lydia, though. Does she admire the parents who raised her? No. But why would she? Especially why would she admire a father who treats her mother and sisters and herself with profound contempt and no sense of responsibility? Why would she ever confide in him?
It's not like Lydia doesn't confide in anyone. In fact, she too confides in an older sibling, her sister Kitty. And in one sense, her trust in Kitty is not undeserved. Kitty does keep the secret. Presumably, she does this because, despite her occasional annoyance with Lydia, she is very much under her influence and goes along with whatever Lydia does. Regardless, she is trustworthy in that sense. Moreover, we see at the end of the book that Kitty is easily improved by being placed in better environments and taught how to behave. She just didn't know better.
How was she going to judge Lydia's situation correctly? Who was teaching her to judge anything correctly? Certainly not their parents.
If Mr Bennet had bothered to interest himself in his younger daughters and try and influence them for the better, impressionable Kitty is probably the one who would have benefited the most. The whole Lydia/Wickham thing would have fallen apart before it went anywhere if all the girls had been been properly raised, even if Lydia did exactly the same things.
And Lydia likely wouldn't do the same things if she'd been brought up properly and, you know, treated with a baseline of respect rather than being openly mocked by her father, the person most able to affect her development. Instead, at barely sixteen, she's been continually rejected by her father, over-indulged by her mother, and flattered by adult men (28-y-o Darcy says he and Wickham are nearly the same age). And she still tells someone what's going on, even though she doesn't care about her parents' opinions or the consequences of her actions. And she was under the protection of a colonel and his wife at the time, who also could have told someone or acted, and didn't.
It's not that nobody could have done anything about the Lydia/Wickham situation. It's that nobody did until Darcy found out and tried to extract her. But it was, in one sense, too late. To Lydia, he's just some unfun acquaintance who says boring things like "go home to your family and I'll do what I can to cover for you." That is, he tries to do what he did for Georgiana.
But Lydia is not Georgiana—she did not choose to tell him about any of this. She did not want to be extracted because she didn't know and couldn't be quickly made to understand what marriage to Wickham would mean in the long term. And she didn't care what her family thought because she had no reason to, pragmatically or psychologically.
Georgiana, otoh, did care about her family's welfare and the good opinion and affection of the head of her family. But despite their radical differences in personality, the most fundamental difference between the girls IMO is that Georgiana had every reason to believe that disappointing Darcy and losing his respect would be a change from the norm.
Normally he is affectionate and attentive towards her. They write each other long letters, he defends her to other family members, and praises her frequently. Georgiana, quiet and intimidated though she may be, talks more when he's around. Disappointing him had actual stakes for her.
Put another way, the potential loss of his good opinion mattered to her because he's gone to the trouble of raising her as well as he can and forming a good relationship with her. She chose to tell Darcy the whole thing because he had earned her affection and trust in a way that Mr Bennet has utterly failed to do. Even Darcy happening to visit Georgiana at Ramsgate comes from his affection and attention to Georgiana's welfare, even if he couldn't have known what would follow from checking on his sister at that particular moment.
Chance is always part of life, and it's part of the novel and these situations. But a lot of how these scenarios wound out was not determined by chance but by long-existing patterns in these girls' educations and relationships.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months
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Leave wildlife alone. He probably bites.
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wispforever · 6 months
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Crucify Him
#Naruto#Itachi Uchiha#Kisame Hoshigaki#Kisaita#itakisa#not really but we know how i feel about them#this is right before he wrecks kakashi#i dont remember the exact sequence but whatever#I'm very curious of Itachi's hostility toward kakashi specifically#you could make the argument that he's just doing his evil villain act#but god DAMN#did you have to crucify him#he puts his own ass in a sling too but overusing his sharingan#itachi says I don't care if I die#as long as I kill you in the process#I like to think itachi bears animosity toward the leaf kakashi the rest of his superiors his family really everyone#because he was forced to choose between two very unattractive options when he was just a kid#not just that but he was expected to take full responsibility for his decision and bear whatever consequence came about#of course an adult could understand that the uchiha needed to right their position of inequity in the leaf#but itachi as a literal child and a child of war could not hold those stakes in his mind and think of anything but disaster#an inevitable war that would be his fault#he couldn't think of anything more awful than that even murdering every member of his clan and his own family#ANYWAY#what im trying to say is I think he would grow up as a rogue ninja and realize how fucked up and unfair it was that he was put up to that#and how he was groomed by a bunch of adults to be a killing machine just bc he happened to be an excellent shinobi#in this case#kakashi is the unfortunate object of his wrath#a very good representation of everything he was a victim of as far as itachi knows him#his superior in the anbu and someone who was willing to conduct surveillance of the Uchiha whether or not he knew what would happen to them#an indifferent bystander. one more person who didn't help itachi (kakashi probably would've had he had the whole picture)
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sleepinglionhearts · 7 months
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Did dishes 2 days in a row
AND cleaned the counters
AND cleaned the sink
I feel unstoppable. Tired. But unstoppable.
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byanyan · 7 months
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hmmm... 11 y/o byan intentionally starting a fire in one of their foster homes and burning the place down.... i am Thinking about it...
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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 months
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also given that the logic of said superiority authoriority is an entitlement to deny someone's personhood & use them as an object for your purposes, from obviously getting to direct what they must do & can't do, to enjoying whatever gratification from lashing out / demeaning which is also going to serve as an affirming exercise in authority when one can do that from an insulated elevated place....a crucial part of whatever form of this violence, from the most nanoscopic triangle in the sierpiński triangle pyramid scheme hierarchy, to the hypothetical largest (zoom in or out to whatever degree: the same shit also), being that indeed the superior parties need the deserved insulation from any Consequence to exerting their superior status, including indeed from having to witness the consequences For the "inferior" parties, such as whatever externalizations of suffering they recognize as such, which either (a) need to be put away (b) are manipulative performances or otherwise exaggerated (e.g. being a pussy / not even having the sense to realize how little suffering they're Really experiencing) or (c) can be fun to witness if you decide you enjoy that as an affirmation of power as per your ability to completely detach from any avoidance of causing pain, harming for its own sake, b/c you Can
all which is to frame how Interesting it is that after all those moments of going "well, they keep bothering with reaction shots of winston noticeably feeling hurt & expressing it, sometimes also verbally. it's like it could be setting up something" it set up Nothing; while once again just like has been done dozens of times a scene just Ends on winston being rejected &/or hurt, no resolution then, no resolution ever, and in the case of 7x03 was so significant an attack that just like in 4x11 when mafee gets to take out his own Loyalty Insecurity on winston while everyone else hangs around in tacit to overt approval, everyone just leaves the room & we get winston staying behind in the Most distant position aaand scene's over! thread's over! david levien get back here after you Liked that 4x12 livetweet of mine pointing out "so see & winston was right anyways??" like....that is: we are given the Perspective of someone who is also now Leaving winston behind, thus immune to the consequences of however that treatment could actually affect him or how he might struggle to deal with that now (who cares! the answer is: Alone) like Whatever, next time we see him he's completely fine now. and i'm just so happening to think that all the little moments of getting to see winston wither & withdraw & etc in reaction to being shitted on was also us being granted the perspective of Gratification that he's punished for speaking or existing or whatever, without it ever going anywhere or mattering beyond that instant. we too are the ones who surely get to relentlessly bully the autistic person & damn if we don't at least enjoy someone getting to go off the rails restoring their ego by doing absolutely whatever they want to him, which just so happens to be perfectly aligned with getting him Back In Line. pull yourself together winston! the only consequences you're experiencing we wanna deal with are the ones where you give us the algorithm we decided we want, actually. and now let's look across the rest of the season where the consequences for wags for being this way (or anyone else for standing by, ready to benefit, with philip bafflingly declaring as well how actually it was brutal in a good way) is approximately fuckall even as of course nobody's pretending he's one of the personal growth guys out here: rian is though, and didn't have to "grow" out of abusing winston or thinking that was fine & good or that of course she's inherently superior! and in the end we have more affection and interest for the Epic Asshole than their Cringe Targets
#yeah once again really appreciate being given the Rewards of that Fantasy of pwning these losers#we get to Glimpse winston going :/ :( b/c that's how we know he was aptly punished for trying to act like he's a fellow person#when we're grabbing his head forcing him back into place in a bigger way it's more important we then dust our hands off & Leave#winston leaving May be that eventual acknowledgment of consequence for w/e scraps of sympathy (pity) billions has for him#but it's made into an episode abt wags w/marked Little care for winston's role & once again Just A Fun Power Trip! for us viewers too!#thoughts amped up from the harmonic resonance of a more zoomed out triangle in the self similar fractal of pyramid scheme hierarchy....#the inferior may be beset w/mass death & violence but um my nice dinner out please?? same No Consequences For The Superior logics#prince shits on winston ep 1? cool! we're giving him a chance. shits on rian ep 12? whoa! whadda hell blunosaur....hang on a minute....#winston billions#how gracious to align us as viewers with the people comfortably shitting on those Beneath Them for kicks & status#and ''pitying'' the Inferior parties doesn't disrupt your superiority so don't worry about that#rian talking to winston like a dog & pitching right in for hurting him via ''he wasn't ever worth listening to But here ya go'' as Pity....#taylor moved away from their being willing to hire him; listen to him; even At All step in even a Tiny bit to insulate him....#towards wanting to forever ignore him & express contempt & tell rian the pitying is Too Much & be right there w/wags in 7x03...?#guess that was just like ''well they can't possibly have an arc of keeping up Any supportiveness / basic recognition of this loser''#but they also don't have to interact w/their own willingness to Insistence on being awful to him either#wasn't even the consequence of [once again we need his epic output...but have treated him like shit?] nah just took it from him :)#anyways; riled. riling times#sure having plenty of firsthand experience with a Refusal to accept like responsibility of produced suffering#there's plenty of room for distress; particularly if translated into irritation/anger; as dismissable to ''haha funny. now anyways''#then there's the option of Resenting whatever evident pain. you can't Tyrannically impose that consequence on Me!!! why i oughta#see also the tyranny of winston Speaking (demanding listening) Being Present (demanding navigation of that) having wants; feelings (NO)....#or you're at more of a loss? you ofc simply get to literally/figuratively walk away :) turning away from winston. ending the scene. shrug#anyways winston is inherently an Other who just so happens to deserve to be Our punching bag & inferior in life yippee wahoo#and by ''just so happens'' we mean clearly Deserves it based on nothing abt what Consequences his actions do or don't have lol lmao#his deserving this inferiority is something more Inherent about him okay lol lmao XD a sentiment unchallenged all 5 seasons he's here#how fun every time rian starts talking to winston with insults & punishment Prompted by his audacity in existing loserishly#what a rollicking episode as wags decides he'll prove his superiority over someone today & everyone claps as he assaults winston. nice!#it was so essential b/c now we can Take his coding w/o having to interact w/him (save 1 meeting just w/sacker!) cool!!! good!!!#lord even knows Where Do I Start Where Do I End It well anywhere & nowhere always & never. the lil topic of ableism & abuse
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lynxgirlpaws · 4 months
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y'all actually have irl friends? like, actually?
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ethan-bears · 1 year
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I love teaching social studies so much but fuck do I hate social studies teachers
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girderednerve · 1 year
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my dad is a public defender. most of his clients are people who have either been involuntarily committed or who are residents of the state mental health ward. one of his clients has diabetes, and did not like the treatment regimen that was prescribed to him—he wanted a different treatment, which was at least as medically valid as the one his doctors tried to force him into. they found his objections inconvenient, so they went to the courts: they filed to have a judge order the treatment, as well as a serious antipsychotic, because, supposedly, my dad's client was 'violent.' he was not. my dad went through the cross-examination he did in some detail, and the medical personnel did not review his client's file, did not remember any violent incidents, and had no other evidence.
the judge played solitaire the whole time, & would have granted the order pro forma. the prosecutor experienced a scruple & dropped the matter.
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powdermelonkeg · 3 months
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Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety
If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
People are allowed to be wrong about you
If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
Most things are better after you sleep on them
Most things are better after you have a meal
Most things are better after you shower
Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
No one cares what you look like
If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
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salvidida · 23 days
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Tbh I didn't give a single fuck about Ling, his guards, and the plot around them. The plight of would-be monarchs and their own empire, while journeying to a different empire embroiled in numerous expansions, massacres, and genocides, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. We also get told next to nothing about Xing or peer into their lives in Xing, so it feels like they just exist to contrast Bradley's and Father's philosophy of rulership, which is 🥱😴 (all imperial rulers are bastards)
I like Mei tho. She's the only person who genuinely and enthusiastically helped Scar the moment she met him, and never batted an eye at his original mission of killing war criminals. She never looked down on him, and she felt like someone Scar actually gave a shit about too.
Unlike Yoki who, if we're gonna be honest, is a strange ally for Scar to permit. This former state alchemist was openly scheming about taking advantage of Ishvalan refugees but somehow Scar lets that slide?? And Marcoh, for all of his repentance for his atrocities against Ishvalans and his desire to aid Scar (once he's denied a deadly retribution like he initially begged for), is not the worst ally and it narratively makes far more sense for him to be made useful to Scar, but then he gives the remaining philosopher stone made of the Ishvalans he killed to Roy so that he and some fellow war criminals can be healed??? Instead of returning the stone to the Ishvalans, as a means of returning the dead and making reparations???????? He doesn't even give it to Scar, who is recovering from his battle against Bradley??????????? (Of course Scar would never use the stone on himself, but he can deliver the stone back to Ishval, as he's in charge of restoring the land and its people.) Neither of these two fuckers gave a shit about Scar but wanted his protection and (in Yoki's case) friendship.
Mei's the only real one. She didn't take advantage of Scar, she never felt like a fairweather ally, and she has a more genuinely kind heart than the others. (And I enjoyed her character in general, especially her prowess in combat and alkehestry).
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