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ride-a-dromedary · 6 months

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Thinking about Thaniel and Halsin reuniting again when he wakes.

Thinking about how Halsin describes Thaniel as having been ripped away from him (just as he was from Oliver). How he was the only one able to see and interact with him; how Halsin is very insistent that Thaniel made him who he became. How Halsin's "very first friend" being an encapsulation of nature itself affected the entire trajectory of his life. How that implies, to me, that Halsin and Thaniel were connected on a level far stronger and more significant than just being unlikely playmates as children - even moreso than just Halsin deciding to become his protector as he aged, or the implication of the relationship becoming more along the lines of a parent and child - to the point of being so interconnected and intertwined, Thaniel evidently uprooted and followed Halsin from the High Forest to its own unpredicted detriment.

Thaniel's being cursed and trapped quite literally *did* rip the two of them away from one another, just as tearing Thaniel's being in two twisted and created Oliver. Halsin feels a hole in his absence - a loneliness and disconnect that eats away at him. He describes losing contact with Thaniel all that time ago as being "worst of all", which is saying a lot considering what else was happening to and around Halsin at the time. And all Thaniel talked about whilst trapped was Halsin, insisting to find him because he was the only one who an entire force of nature itself believed could help it.

Losing Thaniel sent Halsin into a century long spiral; Halsin who blames himself for "dawdling" in his own pain as it suffered. Who could almost place himself in the catalyst of Ketheric Thorm's tragedy of losing his daughter pushing him to the edge. It's the elevated metaphorical adult fear of losing a child and the indescribable sorrow involved in that, mixed with the loss of an important childhood and formative influence, mixed with losing a friend, a piece of oneself, all in one.

I just imagine Halsin twitching in his skin to head immediately back to camp after convincing Oliver to return. Distractedly following behind, but evidently elsewhere, until he is dismissed or the group returns. And he is first to arrive and first to break off to his tent, pulling aside the cloth, lacking any considerable delicacy of action, to see Thaniel sitting up, blinking slowly at his surroundings. Alive; the smell of lavender heavy and sweet. Not dead and rotting, not twisted and empty. Small. Frail. Not quite whole. But alive.

And Halsin...hesitates on the threshold, hands shaking, everything having come to its head at last and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He holds his breath, fearful of any disturbance spooking the life away that they'd worked so hard to revive, until Thaniel turns its eye slowly towards him. Two deer caught in a crosspath of light. A century past and there are hundreds of things to do, hundreds of things he had planned to say to him if they succeeded, but all Halsin can manage is a strained: "It's me."

And he does not need to say who he is; Thaniel knows. All those rehearsed things fizzle away in its face. Halsin is older now, he reasons, much older; perhaps Thaniel will not recognize the century carved upon his brow just as Oliver had not. In a moment of desperation, he needs it to know him. Needs Thaniel to remember - but, fool that he is to underestimate the power of life before him, of course he remembers. Of course Thaniel would recognize him, just as he had recognized him after the long winter had passed - when he had changed so much, and was no longer a little elfling and never would be again. Just as Thaniel had recognized him every springtime after, the thawing of ice bringing another year with it, even as its face did not change at all. It must; his eyes betrayed the centuries beneath his boots, even as the child rubbed fitfully at them.

"It's me," Halsin murmurs again, falling to his knees - as if he could make himself impossibly smaller - bring him back to the beginning, turn back the years before it all went wrong. And Thaniel just nods its head and touches little hands to his face, and when he echos his name, it feels like that first thaw of spring again.

"I heard you calling," it whispers, gentle like summer breezes. "You cried for me to stop hiding. You were frightened and did not wish to play anymore. But when I came out, it had gotten dark. I could not find you."

"I know."

"I called back," he continues, even and intoned, but his lip wobbles. "You could not hear me.

"I know," Halsin repeats, brokenly.

Thaniel blinks a few more times, seemingly working out how to reteach a face long asleep, though there were no muscles to move. A false start later, a twitch of the nose, and he is...smiling. "But I kept trying - I knew you would find me."

A single stick too heavy and the dam breaks. Eyes filled with tears, he hugs Thaniel to him like he hadn't since they were children chasing each other through the underbrush with glitters of gold tangled in his hair. Since Thaniel had guided his hand to make the flowers in his father's garden grow. Since all they'd had was each other under the endless canopy of trees.

"Forgive me," Halsin whispers, a century of pain and loss and loneliness exiting from him in a single rush, the cold empty spaces inside him filling up with warmth. And at last he wakes, dragged violently into the open air after drowning for too long, blinded but alive and whole once again. Interconnected; not alone anymore. The earth sings beneath him and Oliver's spirit hovers just beyond the outskirts of his vision. Halsin chokes on his laugh. "I was never very good at this game."

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #Halsin #anyway...yeah - again half purple prose half nonsense #halsin's most valuable relationship in his life is pseudo-spiritually platonic and that means a *lot*#of course he wants to go back to his realm in the end - of course he wants to see him happy and thriving #because i feel like platonic relationships are just so wholly undervalued as being important and healing to people #i am also thinking about halsin telling oliver that he need not invent friends - halsin was likely told as a child #that thaniel was made up i feel it - treated perhaps at best as an entertainment of their son's imagination in his parents' case #because no one else had heard of him or seen him before #even in a land of magic and monsters #halsin providing oliver with the validation he wishes he had as a child #using the 'you needn't invent friends' as a reverse - thaniel is back and real and waiting for your return #see my previous post regarding this for musing about thaniel and oliver being kara-turan-esque nature spirits because tbh #they more align with that - how'd you get here thaniel #using it/he for thaniel feels right in my mind

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lunar-years · 1 year

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The three kinds of Ted Lasso fans:

#all interpretations of them are valid (well the father one is a little weird lol)#but it’s just very funny haha #actually the order of ways I see their relationship is 1) they are in love with each other 2) they are bffs #even in a platonic interpretation I see them neither as brothers nor father/son like but I digress lmao #Roy Kent #jamie Tartt #ted lasso spoilers #Ted lasso

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downstairsbar · 1 month

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You are the only person on this website with any sense omg everything you say is perfect and true. Every time someone says ‘the second half of the book is all about loumand’ I want to rip my hair it is about CLAUDIA and Claudia and Louis’ dynamic changing and evolving. There have been two whole scenes about a/l released with many more been spoiled already why on earth do people want to convince themselves they’re being sidelined…

its pretty genuinely confusing because every other clip in the extended trailer has armand, i thought? and assad just had a solo interview and there was a giant loumand poster for comicon but you know fandom has to make up a guy to be mad at since claudia and louis’ relationship isn’t as important since they don’t have sex or whatever it is. is it not enough to see two men having gay sex in hd without making it into kpop stan line distribution charts 😕

#qs #and I’m a shipper i love to ship i love romance but that doesn’t make platonic relationships any less important #and just from the trailers we’re getting so much on how cycles of abuse affect children and how adult children only grow increasingly #resentful and that resentment is fair and devastating even if the viewer can see how how the battered partner is manipulated by those #preying specifically on abused ppl so that they can then replicate the same patriarchal possession and violence with an easy mold #but for their child it can just look like your mom is bringing in evil stepdad to replace your evil dad and thus feel failed hateful angry #and wondering how they will expertly maintain claudia’s feelings as valid without victim blaming or removing the onus from the abuser(s)#like how is this not already enough to make your skin vibrate. family is literally hell #being an adult daughter of an abused mother you resent is a tale as old as time. Except she’s stuck as a teenager forever. Hello #and i don’t mean to judge for shipping bc i love romance too but that’s not the only way to engage w media fgdhfjfnfgdhrjf

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mcytshippystuff · 8 months

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(/rp, not irl!) OKAY SO! What i think about q!Phil, q!Missa, and q!Forever's relationships in the QSMP;

In my head, q!Philza and q!Missa started out as just co-parents when they were assigned each other to take care of Chayanne. Then they became more like, platonic husbands but I wouldn't say queerplatonic? Like, they felt getting married was just easier but didn't really have the relationship or level of commitment/care a Queerplatonic or romantic relationship would have. Then they started caring for each other, spending time together and having fun, and entered a weird in-between state of tbh they could go either way ya know?

Then Missa started catching feelings. He didn't mean to, honest! But just, the way Phil would worry and cared for him and their son, the time they spent together, how could he not fall for the Death touched Angel? But he wasn't ever sure how to broach it, sometimes he felt as if Phil felt the same but other times it was obvious Phil didn't so it was just a mess, and he wasn't willing to ruin what they had.

(More about Phil's feelings and Forever's part in all this under the cut, its long sorry not sorry lol)

Meanwhile Phil is both Oblivious and very in denial about any feelings, or people trying to point out there may be feelings at all. I'm unsure if id stick q!Phil on the Ace Spectrum or romance just isn't a priority (or if he's just resistant to the idea of it for whatever reason), but either way he cant fathom the idea that people have actual feelings for him, nor that he might have them himself, so he doesn't really look too deep on his feelings and often brushes them away if he's presented with the idea that it may be real.

So what if being with Missa feels like they were the only people in the world? If the way Missa takes care of their son gives Phil light fuzzy feelings in his chest? If having to say goodbye for who knows how long felt like a hole was punched in his chest, and when he came back Phil suddenly felt like the weight of the world was lifted? He cares about his friend, his platonic husband, that's it! Its def not anything romantic pssh that would be ridiculous...

Meanwhile q!Forever, oh poor Forever.

Admittedly in the beginning it was mostly a joke. The resemblance to Brunim, while at first glance, may be strong but to Forever they didn't look alike at all once you got close, in all the small ways that mattered most really. It was funny to tease and poke and get attached to the lookalike but then oh, oh how it stopped being a joke. (Forever refuses to think about there's a good reason why him and Brunim are apart, for both their own sakes)

And maybe, just maybe, for a while it was becuase how much Forever missed Brunim that he got attached to q!Phil, that he started to feel feelings for the man, but if you look close you can see those feelings started to become real, he honestly and genuinely started to fall for Philza. No more mirror images to chase, no, now Phil felt like standing in the heavy rain, every drop stinging but it was so so cleansing, healing, refreshing. Every time Forever got him to laugh felt like a personal victory he'd ride the high of for days, and every sharp, hurtful word was taken with a forced laugh or fake smile and it would linger and haunt his mind.

Forever tried, he really did, but it felt like nothing he could say or do would convince Phil of his real feelings, often slipping up or saying the wrong things and it was Forever's own damn fault, nobody to blame but himself. And maybe he didn't handle this all the best, maybe got to obsessive or said things that went to far but to be honest Forever didn't really know love any other way and was trying to unlearn the worst parts of himself the best he could. It didn't help Forever is really prone to self-destructive behavior when things are going good. And he tried to leave it be, he promises he tried to give up, to let go but the blond Angel had rooted himself, utterly and entirely into Forever's heart and he couldn't bring himself to cut his love for Phil out.

And q!Phil? Well, it was complicated becuase he did genuinely like the man. Forever was funny and for the most part the "crush", if he could call it that, was amusing at best and just annoying at worst times, and even if Forever was annoying or often went too far, Phil knew there was a good man there. He saw it when Forever gave it a rest and they'd have conversations that would last forever. He saw it when Forever would make him laugh until he couldn't breathe or when Forever took care of the eggs as fiercely as Philza did and when the man cried becuase he was so upset at even the idea of loosing any of the kids, and every lose hurt personally. And though he didn't often think to hard on it, sometimes when the other blond would smile or laugh, Phil felt like he was being shone on by the sun, warm, bright, burning, piercing, overwhelming. The quiet moments when Forever would drop all pretenses and masks and just let himself be, in happy, soft, or sad moments made Phi's chest sing.

But Philza couldn't ignore how the fact he was just a stand in hurt in ways Phil wasn't able to explain and to be honest didn't understand why it bothered him so much, it was never a big deal until it suddenly was. Every time Forever assumed something about him or didn't bother to figure out just was another stab in the heart and Phil just got so angry at the fact that Forever tried to say otherwise, but ultimately his affection wasn't real, and he didn't like being played with. Sure he didn't think Forever was doing it maliciously but he just wanted Forever to just stop! Stop how it hurt, how confused it made Phil. He just wanted it to stop being so confusing, to stop questioning these feelings buried deep within his chest. Plus even if wasn't so complicated, some part of him recognizes he also cares deeply about Missa and since they're married, even if its just platonically, its a commitment Phil is committed too so it feels like a betrayal.

Someone tell this man about the wonders of Polyamory!

Meanwhile Forever and Missa are mostly cautious but also a bit hostile towards each other at first, becuase that's competition in their eyes, a threat of their loves, but in the end they chill becuase they realize its neither of their choices and also the other isnt... bad per say. Maybe they even have a understanding becuase they recognize they both love and care for Phil. Maybe they even come to like and even care about the other in the future, who knows.

So, tldr;

Phil has feelings for both Missa and Forever, some more complicated then others, but he both refuses to admit it to even himself or even fathom he could like someone, let alone two people, and his view on Forever still only liking him becuase of his ex made it a lot more complicated becuase he feels hurt. But he has two hands, that's important to remember!

Missa is very in love with Philza but is both too hesitant to say anything, lest he ruin their relationship they have now, and becuase he's been away so much. He really didn't like Forever, both becuase of the "he just likes me becuase I look like his ex" becuase it clearly hurt phil, but he chilled a bit when he realized Forever wasn't a bad person, just complicated and did really love and care for Phil as well, and being hostile towards each other just made Phil more upset. Now they're cool, if not a bit sure about each other, and maybe even come to like or care for each other too later but who knows.

Forever originally liked Philza becuase he looked like Brunim as a joke, and maybe even some of his infatuation started becuase of it too, but he really did come to see Philza as his own person and come to care and even fall in love with Phil for real. However Forever recognizes he's messed up a lot and often still does, but he's trying so hard to both be better and give Philza space but he cant stop loving Phil no matter how hard he tries. Same as above for him and Missa, its complicated but Forever has chilled and is trying hard to work on his jealousy issues. He thinks Missa isnt that bad and might even come to like or care for each other too later but who knows.

Later on, once they all work out their issues and Phil both stops being a oblivious fuck and realizes that Forever really does honestly and truly love him for him, they end up in a polyamory. Its Philza dating them both but maybe end game has Missa and Forever dating too idk lol.

#mine #please reblog likes do nothing <3 #qsmpshipping #qsmp shipping #pissa #philever #I also wanted to hammer home that #when i say Pissa's relationship is considered platonic and not Queer platonic #im not dissing on qpr's #Queerplatonic realtionships are just as valid #real #and important/commited as a romantic one is #its just a diffrent type of realtionship #i just dont think thats what Pissa have #and ill admit i dont know too much about #Brunim and Forever's relationships (rp wise) and #while i could be wrong #from what i understand it was very toxic and bad on both ends #so im choosing to interpret it that way #and alluding to the fact that becuase of it #Forever has a hard time being normal and healthy #about romantic realtionships #but he's trying!#he promises he's trying #i have more hc's for em lol #just focusing on the romantic ones since ship blog lol #let me know if you wanna hear em #Missa's and Phil's section is shorter but only becuase its less complicated #Meanwhile Forever and Phil are so convoluted and complicated lmao #they figure it out tho just takes a bit lol

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moiraineology · 4 months

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Lan is for the sapphics methinks

#lan mandragoran #if you're straight and you love him #that's very valid #i just think he was made for the gay girlies to rotate in their brains #like anthony bourdain or bruce springsteen #something something he's a curmudgeon with an ~interesting relationship to gender and an all-consuming platonic love for his gay bestie #actually tbf lan is pretty good-tempered on the whole #except for when he wants to throw his aes sedai into bodies of water by the scruff of her neck

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fictionallyinparadise · 1 year

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An Ask Game Themed Around Lyrics from Various The Amazing Devil songs!

please practice reblog karma!! (send an ask to whoever you rbed this from!!)

° And as you grip me like an animal that you're about to spear: What are their feelings on physical touch? If disliked, how do you two work around that? (song is "That Unwanted Animal")

° How unreasonably in love I am with everything you do: What is your favorite little known fact (headcanon or not) about your f/o? What is their favorite little known fact about you? (song is "Fair")

° Dearheart, it's me, you don't need to pretend to be someone you're not: Did you or your f/o try to hide parts of yourselves during the first stages of flirting/dating? If so, what parts? (song is "Fair" yet again)

° The cracks you made I fill with mortar: On a scale from "I can fix them" to "I can make them worse", which describes your f/o best? (song is "Pray")

° If there was one place I could be right now, I'd be standing there between you and him: How does your f/o handle jealousy? Talk about one time they were jealous, or almost jealous if they aren't the type to be! (song is "Two Minutes")

° If I'm good will you come back to us?: What is your go-to method of comfort whenever your f/o isn't doing well mentally? (song is "Two Minutes" again)

° Maybe, sure, I'm out of my depth: How much of canon have you rewritten with your selfship? If you haven't, what's something that you could do without in your f/o's canon? (song is "Shower Day")

° This is us, this is me and this how we're meant to be!: Have others (platonic f/os, familial, or just other people in your f/o's canon) noticed anything different about f/o since meeting you? (Song is "Drinking Song For The Socially Anxious")

° I just like being on my own (with you): What's your favorite thing to do with your f/o, no matter how "silly" it sounds! (song is "Drinking Song For The Socially Anxious" again)

° Because brick by brick you built us, and I'd fill in the cracks: Do you think you've grown (confidence, self love, etc) in any way thanks to your f/o's influence? (song is "Ruin")

° Welcome to my table, bring your hunger!: What is something your f/o has said that sticks with you? (song is "The Horror and The Wild")

° But that creaking you hear in my bones is not pain, it’s applause!: Does your f/o have any performance-based (acting, singing, dancing, etc) that they kept a secret? How did you find out? (song is "Battle Cries")

° Let’s wander, till the fuckers demand an encore~!: Describe a badass moment (in canon or not) from your f/o that lives rent free in your head. (Song is "Wild Blue Yonder")

° And sip the sunlight from your eyes...: Describe your morning routine! (Song is "Not Yet/Love Run [Reprise]")

° I’ll keep the king, keep him safe at bay...: Describe and gush about how it feels being held by your f/o. (Song is "King")

#self ship ask meme #self ship ask game #themed self ship ask game #music themed self ship ask game #self ship community #um #i was gonna link the songs but i'm too sleepy rn wahh #i hope these came out good i tried my damndest #i also tried to keep it for any relationship bc platonic and QP and familial and anything else are so valid mwah <33 #anyway i'm off to sleep!! happy ides of march <3 #practice reblog karma please! not just for myself but also for any other blogs you rb from!!#<- update since this has been kinda poppin' off

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nellasbookplanet · 9 months

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I'm so sorry but I'm going to talk about supernatural in the year of our lord 2023, because I just finished good omens season 2 and the way these shows occupy a very similar space in fandom attitudes is driving me insane.

In so many ways, good omens feels like what supernatural could have been, had they actually committed and not flailed around with like 15 seasons of queerbaiting and the most unintentionally funny ending imaginable. You have the demons and the angels, armageddon, team free will vs god's master plan, years of pining and repression and no personal space and small declarations of love. But good omens does it with genuine vulnerability and comittment, not as bait or comic relief or last minute bury you gays. But, because it’s big and well-known and allows itself time and nuance to get where it’s going, so many people really treated it horribly before the drop of season 2 for not immediatelyand explicitly giving them what they wanted.

Like, after the end of season 1 you could really feel the way spn damaged viewers treated them as the same thing. It’s like people were so prepared to be tricked that they came in highly on guard and defensive. Thing is, this manifested as taking anything other than the most bland, on the nose and immediate gay rep as the creators queerbaiting and trying to worm their way out of committing to 'real' queer rep. Gaiman refuses to confirm your 'they are gay men' headcanons? Clearly him being a coward and not the characters, explicitly, being neither gay nor men. Characters have a very close relationship but no kiss? Clearly queerbaiting and not an affirmation of ace/aro relationships, queerplatonic relationships, or even plain old platonic relationships.

There is so much hurt from years of stereotypes and queerbaiting and bury your gays that any attempt to tell a complex queer story - one where relationships take time, or where they don’t always happen, or where horror or tragedy strikes, become nigh on impossible. It becomes hard to distinguish subtext used to be genuine and subtle and queer-friendly from subtext used to queerbait and make fun, and rather than making the effort to tell them apart and giving stories a chance (and taking the risk of getting hurt) all rep must be distilled into the epitome of 'gay' before it’s accepted as good, because that way you cannot be tricked. Hell, just the way it’s referred to as 'rep' rather than 'characters' is telling.

This is noticeable in the way spn fan spaces talk about Cas, too; he’s always 'the gay angel', never the bisexual angel (despite having had female love interests) or the asexual angel (despite being largely uninterested in sex) or the nonbinary angel (despite not being human and on occassion using female vessels as well as male). Does Meg Masters mean nothing to you. Just. Please allow stories their nuance and their time and their right to not always cater to your ship in the exact way you want (or at all) without declaring them bait. It makes you look very silly when you come crawling back the moment a kiss happens.

#anyway i saw someone refer to goomens s2 as 'intentionally queer' and it made me want to claw the walls #is s1 a joke to you?? (judging by the disdainful way they talk of gaiman‚ yes it is)#good omens #supernatural #idk. there's just this way people approach queer rep and media as 'homophobic until proven otherwise'#that's deeply harmful to storytelling #maybe you shouldn’t treat every story as if it’s coming out of disney and marvel #if you come crawling back to good omens just bc they kissed maybe you should take that as a learning experience #in how 'on-screen kiss' isn't a valid metric on whether a story is good or not #and start actually watching and analyse them for what they are instead #(i also have so many thoughts on how this same attitude is prevalent in critrole fandom it’s not even funny)#(please stop it with the biphobia/erasure and the acephobia and the putting of romantic relationships above platonic ones im begging)#(please allow relationships to be more complicated than 'best friends to lovers' and 'married with kids forever')#anyway. I'm done talking now i need to make breakfast before i faint #nella talks #long post

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