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kirby-the-gorb · 2 years

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reply roundup!

highlights:

thank you also to kellie who was not in the last patron thanks due to an error but is still entitled to thanks :v

this month’s wallpaper [preview] is up!

I [ranted] about how things are going for the disabled community and y’all were kind enough to share it around :’)

[carby]!

patreon drawing is up for [fleurdelis]!

there is a spreadsheet about sheep under the cut somewhere lol

on [bear]:

@vincentvarlotto said: is kirby naked

this is by far one of the funniest comments I’ve ever received. I thought about it for days after I received it. isn’t he always naked???

@the-halo-of-my-memory said: hapy bapy, you always post before bed so i get a big dumb smile on my face while i cozy up with thr blankets 🥰🥰🥰

aww that’s lovely :’) thank you for sharing with me!

on [this big]:

@ceylonsilvergirl said: I want to see a spreadsheet about different sheep breeds!

spreadsheep (all data taken from the American Sheep Industry Association website, it’s very oriented around fiber production because that’s what I want sheep for - the green ones are my favorites based on fiber output per sheep weight and the qualities of that fiber.)

on [cat ears]:

@novasbeans said: i.... didn't realize those were his arms at first... also love the cat ears

@porkchizz said: buttcrack

please, please, if I am trying to give kirby any kind of cleavage, you [will] [know]

on [bro.]:

@zer0cracy said: Kirby after the newest sidekick turns out to be another eldritch horror

weird how often that happens. he can’t even work up a fuss about it anymore.

@the-beeses-kneeses said: bruh a mood. i hope its okay to save this for a reaction meme

absolutely, I hope you have fun with it lol

@inexplicably-spookified said: the ultimate copy ability: not mad just disappointed

the strongest power of all: mild interpersonal consequences

on [carby]:

@imkirb said: carby makes me feel a wide range of some of the strongest emotions I've ever felt, none of which I can describe. like the shrimp that can see a billion colors that we cant

shrimp emotions. emoshrimps? (he mostly just makes me feel delight lol)

@pinkdaruma said: I somehow frel proud this was rec in my "based on your likes"

nice B)

@snowthedemonfox said: carby is the dumbest thing ive seen ever yet its that hilarious and stupid i cant help but laugh /lh

it’s just kinda like wow, they actually went for it. and I think it’s great.

@pancakecherub said: carby is literally the pinnacle of 'hehoo funni ponk blib eat evvyting'

kirby can have a little car as a treat! lol

on [keyblade]:

@bluebayard said: he can weild the keyblade because he is pure of heart smash bros ultimate is WRONG. kirby would heal me. kirby would use curaga for me unlike SOME people. ducks. donald.

he would also do a much better job of bopping the boss with his silly little stick while I run away instead of just heading directly into every attack :v

on [too small]:

@the-queen-is-off-duty said: OOOOOHOHOHOHOOOO SO SMOL, TREAT WITH CARE, CANT SMOOCH HE DISAPPEAR

@angst-and-fajitas said: perfect sized to me :)

@onyxonline said: ITS HIM!!!! JUST A LITTLE SCRUNKLY! A LITTLE MAN! A TINY LITTLE GUY! LITTLE BABY MAN!!!! DA KIRBO!!!!

it’s him!! the littlest of guys!!! keep him in a thimble house!

on [cupid]:

@slimey-boo said: gorb this is so cute :) lil man is so happy. and possibly dangerous

hehe thank you :> he was given the gift of a bow and arrow and he is going to make it everyone else’s problem.

on [lost]:

@ceylonsilvergirl said: I know that this was literally created as a representation of a cat, but isn’t this just every single human alive? you’re born knowing nothing, and the more you learn the less you know. I mean, what we know as a species is just so infinitesimally small. interacting with brilliant people makes me even more convinced we know nothing. I’ve met a Nobel lauriat who smoked, he had no idea how to quit. I know a rocket scientist who tried to correct my word usage, and he was absolutely wrong. I’ve met a brilliant mathematician who couldn’t figure out how to work a camera. we’re all in a perpetual state of confusion

what are humans if not mammals that mistakenly assumed we were smarter than everyone else lol, I think it’s fine to not know much but we’d all be better off if we were willing to admit it.

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thirsty-x1 · 4 years

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Love At First Chat | Kim Yohan

Request:

Hi xxx can I have a fluffy one shot where yohan meets his internet gf for the first time? Thank you in advance :)

↬ Pairing: Yohan x fem!reader

↬ Genre: Fluff

↬ Warnings: extremely cheesy.

↬ Word Count: 1.6k

Anxiety shocks ran up and down your skin, it being the last call you were going to make with your boyfriend before seeing him, this time finally in person.

The way you two had met was weird. It all started by logging in a discussion forum about dramas. Yes, k-dramas, the rosy, cheesy ones, where you simply voiced out your love for a specific one and someone replied immediately, agreeing with you. That's how it started, with simply talking over a mutual interest. Slowly, you got to know the stranger more and more, until discovering their identity, first becoming friends and later simply falling in love with each other. Yohan was sweet, comprehensive, sensitive, attentive... or at least that's what you could said after knowing him for two years and a year of dating him. He would always send at least a good morning and good night text, and every now and then, when you both could find a free time, a video call made you feel close.

However, as time goes by, the distance complicates things. Of course you had some fights here and there, nothing too serious and over trivial stuff, but lately the most worrisome situation going on was the lack of physical contact. You both had it hard to go and meet each other, so the only way was writing and send audios through your phones. It somehow didn't feel as it was enough... So you had a plan prepared. You had been saving up for a long, long time, getting part-time jobs and doing favors for your friends and neighbors, finally getting the amount of money necessary to travel and see him. The rest wasn't important: permission, papers, anything at all was pushed aside the moment you imagined how happy he would be, if he would hug you or stay frozen right in place.

“Hi.”

His voice brought you back to the present, a huge smile growing on your face, reflecting the one that was in his.

“Are you nervous?” He giggled softly at your question.

“How could I not? I can’t believe you are coming...”

It was the first time you two had nothing to talk about but your expressions said more than enough. He was playing with his fingers, biting his lip as a way to repress his smile but to no avail, his eyes with a bright glint.

You two kept at it for an hour at least, just staring at each other and having the dumbest expressions ever until night came and you needed to rest in order to feel good enough the next day for your trip.

Nervousness filled your system, your feet tapping on the airplane’s floor and your fingers trying to match the melody that came out of your headphones. Even if the flight was the fastest route, the hours felt as an eternity, giving you enough time to remember all that had happened since you started dating Yohan. You couldn’t quite recall how you two fell in love, although you do remember that you didn’t know how each other looked. None of you felt the need to share that, your first chats being completely filled with memes and pictures that showed something that each had found interesting during the day. Until he sent a picture of the outfit he was wearing without giving it much thought, your heart racing the second you saw it. Your first thought was what the fuck, and the second he is fucking handsome. And his reaction was the same when he finally saw yours, melting at your sweet face features, your slight smile making him tingle all over.

The voice of the stewardess over the speakers took you out of your trance, your feelings getting mixed in your stomach, nausea making way slowly. Was this really happening? Were you really going to meet the boy that made your chest swell up with pride each time he told you about how he got a new achievement in his taekwondo career? The one that made you laugh whenever he said he got scared at something different? That caused tears to run down your face when he sent a random long text saying how much he loved you? It all was about to be defined in just a few minutes.

You stepped into the airport, eyes wandering here and there trying to find those cute puppy eyes, and you did. A tall boy with a huge smile was walking towards you, his steps slowly getting faster until he was running, his arms hugging catching you in a tight embrace, spinning you around. You couldn’t care less about how the people around stared, the only thing that was in your mind right now was him, the feeling of his broad back under your fingers, drowning in his scent, his smile against your neck, his hair like a feather against your skin. He pulled away, grabbing your face between his hands, his eyes hurriedly trying to take you in before leaning and kissing you deeply. You weren’t expecting it, and neither was he since he blushed profusely, your laugh melting him as you pecked his lips again.

“I missed you… Is that even possible?” You were the first to talk and he just couldn’t believe that he could hear you in person, not through some device that somehow changed how wonderfully melodic it was.

“I would have to say yes because I feel the same way.”

There was no awkwardness between you and it felt weird… You thought that he would be shy, that’s how he always behaved whenever you two video called each other, but all of his actions exuded confidence: his arm around your waist, his forehead against yours, his other hand carrying your baggage, all in the most relaxed and content way. It surprised you, to be honest, but you weren’t complaining at all.

“Where are we even going?” You chuckled as he hurried to open the door of the car for you and putting your suitcase in the back.

“I’m not going to tell you~”

“It’s not like I will know where it is anyway, you dummie.” His high pitched laugh vibrated in the air, making you smile instinctively.

He started driving, his happy expression never going away, and you couldn’t see anything that wasn’t him. His hands were grabbing the steering wheel tightly, looking as if he wanted to hold your hand but responsibility didn’t allow him to, so you just rested your hand on his thigh thinking that would make it better, but as soon as you felt his muscles and he realized the contact, both jolted and looked away, getting embarrassed. The rest of the ride you talked about what you did during the day, how you prepared but almost forgot absolutely everything, how he spilled his breakfast in the morning because he was just too distracted, how his parents made fun of him for staring at the phone constantly checking the time… You almost didn’t notice when the car stopped.

“We are here… But first, you should know one very important thing: I have never, ever brought someone here, so consider yourself pretty special.”

“I already consider myself special for going out with you.” The cheesy comment surprised him, his shoulders going high as he giggled.

As you stepped out of the car and took in the view, your heart raced. You recognized the place even if you had never been there. It was from the iconic scene of the drama you two had watched, the reason why your relationship was possible. It was the most romantic yet cringy thing ever, and you couldn’t help but to be amazed at the gesture. He had put so much thought into this... His eyes were expectant, wondering if you had noticed what he was trying to do and say, and the second he saw your mouth gasping, his smile was the brightest.

“What do you think?”

“It’s… It’s seriously wonderful. I never thought I would get to see it…” Even if the sight was wonderful, your eyes were fixed on him.

“I remembered you said you wanted to come to this place someday… It was when we had just started talking, but it stuck with me since then. I wanted to bring you here if I ever had the chance.”

“I love it, I really do.” You had to look forward before saying the next words, maybe you would combust into confetti if you saw his reaction to them. “And I love you, too.”

He didn’t say anything, and your heart raced. Was it too soon? Maybe you shouldn’t have said it… It was your first time saying it, at least out loud, at least to him. Oh god, what if he didn’t feel the same? What if he just kind of liked you but nothing more than that? Your mind was running wild with random thoughts until he hugged you from behind, hiding his face on your neck.

“I love you. I love you so much that I can’t even show you my face right now.”

You let out a breathe you didn’t know where holding, your eyes slightly watering before you turned around, his face completely red, his eyes shining brightly due to the tears being held back. It was too surreal… Everything was too surreal. You and him, being together right in that moment, right in that place, kissing each other after confessing your mutual love, and all thanks to a silly, meaningless discussion forum about a drama that led to falling in love at first chat.

This is terrible ohmygod I’m so sorry, still hope you get to enjoy it

~Nani

unedited

#I love him #kim yohan #kim yohan fluff #kim yohan scenario #kim yohan scenarios #kim yohan imagine #yohan #yohan fluff #yohan scenario #yohan scenarios #yohan imagine #x1 #x1 fluff #x1 scenario #x1 scenarios #kpop #kpop fluff #kpop scenario #kpop scenarios

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johannesviii · 4 years

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 1999

A list with quite possibly the most embarrassing #1 yet, and considering some of the previous ones, that’s really saying something.

Also, a very, very long list of honorable mentions.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

This could have almost been a top fifteen, because holy f█cking shit look at this list of honorable mentions. I might eventually make a top 15 for some years (gosh I just finished my 2013 top and it’s a massacre of good songs, an absolute disaster, and I’m seriously considering making it a top 15 or 20 I swear), but for now, it’s still manageable.

Summer Son (Texas) - Why is this so hot. The lyrics aren’t even hot in the first place. What the hell.

That Don’t Impress Me Much (Shania Twain) - Not my favorite song from her but still very good. Fun fact, one of my English teachers was using songs as dictation exercises and that was the hardest one he ever used for that. I don’t think any of us got the Elvis line right. Also he’s solely responsible for me loving The Cure because the second song he used for this kind of exercise was Boys Don’t Cry. This has nothing to do with Shania Twain but I thought it was a fun little story to tell.

Jusqu’au Bout de la Nuit (Emile et Images) - Two French bands from the eighties team up and release a song which is composed of every single one of their hit songs from the eighties, with each chorus sung one after the other, and... it sounds great? And it charted?? My brother absolutely loved them, too. The only reason it’s not on the list is that it feels like cheating, in a way. I mean, half these songs could top some of my lists on their own. Putting them together is a dirty trick, guys! Oh well, I love you all anyway.

Baby One More Time (Britney Spears) - I really love this song and it was on the list at first, but overplay played a big role in its removal from it.

L’Ame Stram Gram (Mylène Farmer) - Has the privilege of being the first Mylène Farmer music video I ever saw in my life. Was incredibly confused but also fascinated. The song isn’t her best though, and she’s on so many of these lists that I claim self care on its removal from this one, especially because, uh... she’s still gonna appear on it anyway. Damn it.

Move Your Body (Eiffel 65) - I told you I loved stupid dance music didn’t I. Unfortunately things aren’t gonna get better as years pass. I just made a list (which is gonna be posted muuuuuuch later) where I put David Guetta six places higher than Adele. This isn’t a joke.

Save Tonight (Eagle Eye Cherry) - I genuinely love this song and it’s kinda sad I couldn’t fit it on any of the two lists where it was elligible.

La Manivelle (Wazoo) - This would NEVER have charted if La Tribu de Dana by Manau hadn’t been such an enormous hit the previous year. Not in a million years. And if it hadn’t, the world would have been a little less fun. So I’m glad. I love it and it was one of the last cuts from this list.

Kiss Me (Sixpence None the Richer) - Was also on the list at first. Was removed because it never ended on any compilation I made and that’s the only reason.

Well, that was long. Here’s the proper list.

10 - Crazy (Britney Spears)

US: Not on the list?? I was very surprised / FR: #14

So I dug up the first cd compilations I ever made for the previous list, and look what’s the first song on the third compilation I ever made!

Relistened to it, still love it to bits, put it on the list. Sorry Kiss Me.

9 - All Star (Smash Mouth)

US: #17 / FR: Not on the list

I know it’s impossible to listen to it with fresh ears after something like 15 years of memes. But it’s still damn good and a ton of fun to sing along with it.

8 - Ma Baker 99 (Boney M)

US: Not on the list / FR: #66

Where’s that photo of the cd compilation I mentioned in the previous list?

There it is.

Yep, it’s a remix, but it charted here, and it sounds and looks absolutely fantastic. I had never heard the original at the time for some reason, and that song sounded so badass. I could only understand isolated bits of the lyrics (like “she was the meanest cat in all Chicago town”, “the cops appeared too soon they couldn’t get away”, “she never could cry”) but it was enough to get a general idea, and that was back when I was starting to realise than most of the dance songs I enjoyed as a kid didn’t tell stories and weren’t about wizards and magic. So, a song about a mean woman who’s also a gangster?? I was like, wow, nice, a song I like with an actual story, give me twenty.

7 - Boom Boom Boom Boom (Vengaboys)

US: Not on the list / FR: #20

Told you I loved Vengaboys! It’s also on that third cd compilation I ever made!

Fun fact, at the time, for a while I didn’t know what the lyrics were and since I only knew a couple of words of English I was convinced a “broom” was somehow involved in the lyrics instead of a “room”.

6 - Souviens-toi du jour (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #73

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again ; I used to be a huge fan of her as a teenager and my brain somehow links her and her songs in general to some dark times in my life - and so, every single time she appears on one of my lists, I feel like I’m texting an unstable ex and that things will end horribly and I probably shouldn’t do that but, ugh, can’t help it, love her too much.

Ok so the first seconds are actually painful to listen to but holy shit, that’s a beautiful, beautiful song. When the chorus swells near the end, so full of hope and light? Amazing. Chills on my arms every single time. That’s from one of her best albums, too. I have nothing more to say about it.

5 - Better Off Alone (Alice Deejay)

US: Not on the list / FR: #30

I don’t have anything to say about this one apart from the fact one of my friends around 2005 thought the lyrics were “do you think you’re better? rofl lol” and I think that’s hilarious.

Moving on to- oh shit oh no not that song

4 - Je te rends ton amour (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #97

What I said in #6 also applies here and this song is so dark it feels even worse. That song used to be very important in my life. Bad memories, bad times. Really, really bad times.

So. Uh. This is a song about a woman in a painting, who’s despising her creator, and possibly (that’s very, very open to interpretation, here’s a translation) coming out of her frame to kill him. That’s quite possibly the weirdest story I’ve ever heard in a song, and I love it. And it sounds so sinister. God, the first notes. They are so ominous. And that brief moment of silence after the bridge, right before the guitar explodes again? Horrible chills. I’m not sure who killed who or what actually happened in the story but press F to pay respects.

Also the music video has nothing to do with the lyrics and it’s absolutely terrifying and I shouldn’t have watched this at 14 because it’s kinda burned into my mind now and it will never go away and you probably shouldn’t watch it either.

If it wasn’t so inextricably linked to bad memories, this song would be #2. I still love it and listen to it but I kinda jump like a scared rabbit whenever I hear it by surprise and it should come with its own trigger warning as far as I’m concerned.

3 - Narcotic (Liquido)

US: Not on the list / FR: #99

This is barely elligible. But I’m so, so glad it is. These chords right there? Love them. Love. Them.

Also here’s a fun story about this song and me. At first, I was like “oh wow, I can only understand one word out of five, but this sounds badass.” Then a couple of years later I was like “oh. Oh no. It’s about drugs.” And THEN a few years later I was like “oh shit oh no. It’s about sex.” But no, now that I can understand everything, it’s just a breakup song. It’s okay.

2 - Where I’m headed (Lene Marlin)

US: Not on the list / FR: #24

Ok so. Uh. I just realised this song was called Where I’m headed and not, as I believed for literally 18 years, “Pass By”. I had never checked. I have it on several tapes and several cd compilations, always labelled Pass By. It’s also called Pass By on the mp3 I still have in my playlist. I know I’m in the wrong here and probably never checked what the title was but I still feel like there’s been a glitch in the matrix. What happened.

Anyway. Fantastic song. Love it.

Now let’s embarrass myself beyond all hopes of redemption.

1 - Blue (Eiffel 65)

US: Not on the list (...yet. #49 in 2000) / FR: #2

So. Uh. Yeah.

Blue by Eiffel 65 was, for a long, long, LONG time, my favorite song ever.

See? This is one of my oldest lists of favorite songs.

Another one from several months later.

A cd compilation of my favorite songs ever, which I made around 2003 or 2004 as well, with a booklet with lyrics entirely copied by hand and with every page painstakingly illustrated with panels and characters from my favorite comic at the time, Horologiom.

You open the booklet, and look at that, Blue is the second song right after Children.

This silly song which lists blue things and has a nonsensical chorus and one of the dumbest music videos of the entire 90s was, indeed, for years, my favorite song ever. Why. How. Well, first, please remember I am, in fact, a sucker for dance music and electronic music ESPECIALLY when a piano is involved, but this isn’t at all why this song was special to me (and still is, actually).

As I already mentioned, music has colors to me and guess what’s the dominant color of this song? Yepppppp. This is one of the bluest songs ever made even if there’s a little black, yellow and green here and there - the only song I can think about right now which out-blues it is Derezzed by Daft Punk.

And I can’t even begin to explain how SATISFYING a blue song called “Blue” listing blue things and which has an extremely blue music video is.

I know. It’s an embarrassing #1 even for 1999. It took me a long time to post this list partly for this reason. But I wouldn’t be honest if it was placed at any other position. It’s stupid, it’s repetitive, it’s meaningless. I absolutely love it and I’ve loved it for twenty years.

Deal with it.

Next up: the year when I actually started to buy cds with my own money, with debatable results.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

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yaachtynoboat711 · 5 years

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Fonder Ch. 3

A/N: Hopefully, this isn’t as angsty as the previous chapters have been. I have become a monster 😭😭😭. Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy. Enjoy the houseclaim link too.

Word Count: 1966

Warning(s): Angst, slow burn

Friday, September 12, 2014, Los Angeles, California, 9:35 a.m., Winston’s Apartment

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Fuck. Already?”, Winston muttered to himself as he slowly twisted his body to shut the alarm off. Nearly three months after his breakup with Yaa and he still wasn’t used to not being greeted with a funny text of some sorts from her. No funny voicemail or meme to start the day off with. Fuck, I miss her.

His phone buzzed; it was from Michelle, his new girlfriend of almost a month and a half. She was sweet and caring, but not Yaa by a long shot. They kinda just met—no bells and whistles. They met at a coffee shop when he was filming for Person of Interest. She was coming to town for a few weeks for an assignment. As a freelance journalist, she didn’t have a choice to pick or choose what assignment to take.

“Hey, you.”, Winston answered.

“How are you, honey?”, she replied.

“Just waking up. Have you boarded yet?”

“They’re about to close the door. Calling you to remind you that my flight gets here at 2:35 and—“

“—and you want me to pick you up? I was actually thinking about letting you hang out at the airport for a few while I got dinner ready.”, he suggested nonchalantly.

“What? Winston,no! Why would you do that? You don’t want me there or something?”, she squeaked.

“Geez, Michelle, r e l a x. I was kidding! Can’t take a joke?”, he answered defensively. Michelle definitely wasn’t Yaa. By now, Yaa would’ve cussed him completely out before adding, “That’s why I’ll get some old dick or my side nigga to come get me, since you playin’ so goddamn muhfuckin’ much.” Yup, Khalida was a Carolina reaper and Michelle was a bell.

“Ok. I’ll call you when I land. Talk you then!” The phone clicked.

“Damn,bye.”, he said as he locked his phone.

After he showered, he walked into kitchen to hear Power 106 playing “Tuesday”. His song at the moment. Bop and bop, he danced without a care in the world. He’d had a productive week after all: he’d just returned from New York for more work, met his audition quote for the month, and folded his clothes the moment they came out of the dryer. He was long overdue for a haircut, but hey, he wasn’t trying to impress anyone.

Since it was Friday, he had laxed schedule: gym, pick Michelle up, date at the house, take her to her hotel, and possibly watch some TV or Netflix.

But, since he had time before going to the gym, he was going out for a run.

4:27 p.m., Vons

Going to the gym before running bus errands was probably the dumbest decision he’d made in a minute. His thighs were still on fire and so were his arms. Dumbass. He sat in Vons’ parking lot for a breather and to Google what wine goes with lemon chicken piccata. Yaa had taught him the basics of wine pairing, but advanced pairings weren’t quite his forte. Sauvignon blanc. Bet.

Winston confidently walked into Vons ready to conquer the wine and spirits aisle. He got a little too overzealous; he went to the wrong aisle. When he finally made it to the right one, he just about had a heart attack. Is that—nah. She wouldn’t be out here. Lemme go over one more aisle and come through the other way to get a better look. He tussled with the idea that she would be in California, but then again, what other copper loc’d, Alabama crimson and houndstooth wearing, thick Black woman would be in Malibu? It is Khalida.

He conjured up the perfect plan: she was glued to her phone (when wasn’t she?), so he would intentionally bump into her cart so she could look up. Here goes nothing.

He got closer to the middle of the aisle, taking his box of cereal out of his hand basket. He bumped into her, causing his cereal to fall from his grip and her her phone.

“Goodness, I am so so sorry. I need to stop driving distrac—”, she finally looked up and her eyes immediately bugged out, dropping the box of cereal. “Winston?! Wh-wh...What are you do-doing out in Malibu?”, she tried searching for words. Winston chuckled deeply.

“It’s nice to see you, too, K.D.”, he said unenthusiastically. “The question is: what are you doing in California?”

The two hugged deeply. Three months apart and the spark was still there. They both took in each other’s scents and finally separated.

One thing he definitely noticed about her was that she was taking of her self. Fresh re-twist and color? Check. Skin cleared up? Most def. Been to the gym? Had she?! She was thicker, yet toned. Her ex-boyfriend had to be responsible. My God from Zion, she still looks like an image of beauty.

“Well, not even a week after we broke up, Kimya and I get a call saying we’d been invited to work out here in L.A. on this secret project. It’s due October 20th and we’re leaving November 1st. How’s LA been treating you?”

“I’ve been back in New York actually filming Person of Interest. I think I recalled you watching it at some point.” Why couldn’t I have just waited?!

“Word? I stopped watching after the first season if we’re keeping it a hunnit. How big of a role are we talking?”, she crossed her arms in anticipation of his answer.

He was ready to brag now. “I can’t say much, but it’s a pivotal role in the season’s progression. I’m playing someone totally opposite of myself.” He was feeling himself; he sported a full grin. “You look good. Working out?” Yes, God, she is. Blessed be.

She noticed him staring at her slightly toned but oh so edible thighs. Her calves were more defined. Thanks to dancing and working out with Matt, she was physically in the best shape of her life.

“I have, actually. Thanks for noticing.” She jokingly struck a pose. “ANYWAYS, I gotta go because I got oxtails braising on the stove and that’s the only thing that should be braising when I get back.” Oxtail?!?! Surely, that’s not just for her. Has to be Matt. Lucky bastard. She picked up the wine she came in for.

“That’s what I came for, too. I have a uh...date tonight and I just googled what to get in the parking lot.” They laughed.

Even though she laughed, he could sense her energy shift.

“A date?! Who’s the lucky winner?”, she asked.

“Her name is Michelle. She’s a freelance writer. You seeing anybody?” He asked with bated breath.

Khalida nodded and covered her mouth as she processed the new information. “A freelance writer? Nice.” Her energy reverted. “And to answer your question, nope. This project gotcha girl swamped. I don’t have time to entertain a relationship.”, she was partially lied. I'm surprised she didn’t pull anyone the week after our relationship. I’m amazed Matt hasn’t scooped her up.

Winston looked down at his watch. “Shit! I gotta go start dinner. Before I go, here’s my new number. It was nice seeing you.” He gave her his new number and they exchanged addresses before they hugged one last time and traveled their separate ways.

Deep down, he wanted to just scoop her up and drown her in kisses, but he still had to go home to Michelle.

“Hey, Wins.”, she called out, walking back towards the end of the aisle. He quickly snapped his head around.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t be a stranger.”

He lowered his head and laughed. “I won’t. I promise.”

8:36 p.m., Winston’s apartment

He replayed that in his head over and over again. Why did I just let her go like that? For some reason, he decided to play an Apple Music break-up playlist . Of all the songs that aided him with the agonizing break-up, only one spoke to him: She’s Out of My Life by Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson was Khalida’s all-time favorite artist (second was Beyoncé), so the pain stung a tad more. She kinda hated that song because she wanted to know, in her exact words,“who the fuck would hurt my good dawg Mike the way they did. Punk ass bitch. ” The thought of Khalida cursive a hypothetical person out 35 years after the fact always made him cackle. Even though the song came out in 1979, Michael was speaking to Winston’s exact to situation.

It’s out of my hands

To think for [seven months] she was here

And I took her for granted, I was so cavalier

Now the way that it stands, she’s out of my hands.

So I learned that love's not possession

And I learned that love won’t wait

Now I’ve learned that love needs expression

But I learned too late

Winston stared off into the abyss, deep within his thoughts, and tears staining his face as the song looped for what seemed like an eternity. It was true: he sorta realized that he was being possessive about their love and that love wouldn’t wait. Damn Khalida for being right the whole time. Damn Carrie for throwing that stupid prophecy over their heads and ultimately being right. Damn Michael Jackson for making this song especially for him. But mostly, damn himself for allowing himself for pursuing a woman out of his league like Yaa. She was walking Black Girl Magic and he didn’t deserve to be in the same room as her, yet alone call himself her boyfriend.

He could hear his phone ringing in the other room. He let it ring and it rang once more before he got up to answer it.

He took the phone off the charger and saw 2 missed calls from his mom. Shit,shit shit. He tapped on the notification with the quickness; she quickly answered.

“Winston, my son, I called you twice. I began to worry.”, his mom opened.

“I know, I’m sorry,mum. I was in another room. Everything ok?”, he answered.

“I should be asking you the same question. I’ve been worried about you lately.” She could sense something was wrong with her youngest born. “I called because I’m worried about you.”

He sat up. “Wh-what? Why?”

“I sense an emptiness in your voice and in your spirit, Winston.”

“An emptiness?”

“Yes, my child, an emptiness. Like someone stripped away something precious.”

“I...I couldn’t honestly tell you. I may just be homesick and missing you.”

He wasn’t totally wrong, but neither was he telling the whole truth. While he was adjusting to the rapid LA pace and lifestyle as the “new normal”, part of that new normal was adjusting to his life without Khalida. It was rough, but he was managing.

“Well, just know that I’m praying for you. I don’t know what it is that void, but whatever it may be, don’t allow to rob you of the joy God has blessed you with, eh? It is my prayer that you find peace and comfort. I want you to have a full and complete life, ok? I love you.”, she said.

He flicked away the tear that fell. “I love you,too.”

Leave it to his mother to say what needed to be said without actually knowing what was actually going on. He sat at the edge of the bed, thinking about how much growth and maturity that needed to take place in his life. Khalida mentioned it before their break-up and she was right. Both of them needed to grow before they could be together again. The repairs on the plane were in its beginning stages.

Tag List, You’re Doing Amazing ,Sweetie.

@muse-of-mbaku @kumkaniudaku @eriknutinthispoosy @whoramilaje @mbakusthrone @mbakuwife @crushed-pink-petals @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @jackburtonsays @randomwordprompts @bartierbakarimobisson @wakandan-flowerz @blackpantherreblogs @babygirlofwakanda @eerythingisshaka @washyourlinens @turn-thy-paige @doublesidedscoobysnacks @wakandas-vibranium @theunsweetenedtruth @dramaqueenamby @destinio1 @sonofnjobu @teheeboo @chefjessypooh @sarahboseman @iamrheaspeaks @chaneajoyyy @fonville-designs @supersizemeplz @starryeyedsav @lovelynervouschaos @cay-cah @coonflix @katasstrophey @foxfables @mareethequeen @jozigrrl @great-neckpectations @jellybean531 @yofavcocoa @storibambino @maya-leche @blackgirloneshots @royallyprincesslilly @texasbama @abeautifulmindexposed

#thefonderseries #winston x yaa #dukeandthedoctor #winston duke x oc #winston duke imagine

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radramblog · 3 years

Text

we live in a society (that has progressed)

There’s always an interminable shift, a flux, in culture that can be hard to spot if you don’t quite know what you’re looking for. As times change, people grow, and media is released, causing perspectives and opinions in the general psyche to sway over the course of human cultural history.

Basically, the Joker is allowed to be funny again, and that’s a good thing.

I’m not going to bother explaining who the Joker is to you, like I often do when I’m introducing a post like this. It’s the fucking Joker, I’d be shocked if you didn’t know what the character is. You have to be online to see this post, after all, and if you’re on the obscure rabbit-hole known as My Tumblr, you’re online enough to see Joker memes and such.

The Joker is an inherently ridiculous character. He’s literally a clown man, a foil to the deadpan Batman, humour literally written into his name. And while I cannot possibly capture the full breadth of his various iterations and interpretations over the course of DC Comics’s long history, a lot less people are going to have read the comics than seen the adaptations of such, and those are what has stuck out in the public consciousness. There’s a few versions in particular I’d like to highlight before I get into the meat of this.

In particular, the early visual interpretations of the character are, well, monumentally silly. It’s impossible to talk about the 1966 Adam West Batman series without an understanding of just how camp the whole thing was, and the Joker is no exception to this. Even Jack Nicholson’s performance in the 1989 film is inherently silly despite it’s overall serious tone, a villain who kills people with a chemical called, I shit you not, Smylex. Considering the actor, and especially considering what came just a year before that film, such a portrayal is actually kind of a confusing cultural milestone.

And that thing that came a year beforehand is The Killing Joke, potentially the most iconic Batman comic, nay, DC comic there is. And with it, potentially the most sympathetic portrayal of the Joker that there had been so far. A man driven mad by exposure, a situation he was only in to afford his family’s bills. It presents the most clear image of him as Batman’s mirror- literally, at times, and yet shows some of his most shocking brutality at the same time. The idea of the comic, if I may be so bold, is to imply that the line between Batman and the Joker isn’t quite so thick as it appears at first glance.

We don’t talk about the animated version of the Killing Joke.

I’m going to move right past the Animated Series in general, not because it’s bad or anything, but because I’m relatively unfamiliar with it (this may be a reoccurring theme) I’ve only seen a handful of episodes, the ones my family had on VHS, and they sure didn’t have the Joker in them. (The Gray Ghost and….I think a Scarecrow episode? Which was a hell of a thing to see as a kid). It does have his portrayal with Mark Hamill as the voice actor, though, which is frankly such a choice decision.

The thing that made the Joker, and the Batman franchise as a whole, come back into the limelight was obviously the Nolan movies, specifically The Dark Knight. Being the face of such a critically acclaimed movie with such an incredible performance by Heath Ledger (I am obliged to stan, he’s from Perth, I’ve met his stepdad) is obviously going to get the name back in the books, even if it’s such a different version from what had previously been seen.

Ledger’s Joker has a humour, sure, but it’s a significantly more morbid one than previous incarnations. Previous Jokers killed people, sure, but The Dark Knight added a level of brutality to the whole thing that made the character so much more serious, pun not intended. One can largely attribute this to the darker tone of the film he appears in compared to previous Batmans (especially the 90s films), because in those versions the Joker was, well, not a serious character. He doesn’t interact with the world in the same way other people do, his values are completely alien. Ledger’s Joker has a very specific ideology, one people can understand, and more relevantly, one people can misunderstand.

The actual post begins here.

Ledger’s Joker has been the icon of the edgy teenager since The Dark Knight came out and was watched by millions of them. Something about the character speaks to them, something about being an outsider, not like the other people, and also both smart and violent, which are attributes that 13-year-olds idolise.

A Joker profile picture has long been one of the biggest red flags on the internet. A sure sign that someone is going to say the dumbest fucking thing imaginable, or something hideously offensive apropos of absolutely nothing. This isn’t even getting into how the character became an icon for the Gamers Rise Up movement, which I will remind you that a fair few people actually took seriously. A legion of the worst of nerd culture- misogynistic, racist, and toxic folks who have nothing better to do than yell at people on Reddit.

Where as I, the cultured individual, explain things to people on Tumblr. Very different. But the point is, this specific version of the character is an anarchist, out to prove that, at the end of the day, every single person has the potential to become a monster, that chaos is the nature of humanity, somewhat akin to his portrayal and point in The Killing Joke- all it takes is the right thing to set you off. This twisting of the message into “im better and smarter than u also I will kill u” is frankly kind of disgusting.

The point I’m trying to get to is that for the last decade-ish, The Joker, a character built around humour and gratuity, has become incredibly unfunny. From the internet fuckwits to the grim Ledger portrayal, the character with Joke in their name has been impossible to laugh at.

Another factor contributing to this is the growing awareness and increased sympathy for mentally ill people, which is where Joker (the film) comes in. Now, obviously, the understanding of mental issues is not a bad thing, and I’d love to see this trend continue. But my understanding is that Joker and its titular character are not a particularly humourous time, despite the character literally being a comedian this time.

To be clear, I have not seen the movie, and I have no intention to, so feel free to completely ignore my opinion on this. But the fact that the film seemed to have made all the GRU stuff worse is not a good sign for it.

However, as in life and in media, all things shall pass, and that does include the Joker. Ignoring Suicide Squad (because I know like nothing about the Joker’s place in that film and don’t want to research it), late 2010-s on portrayals of the Joker appear to be returning to the characters roots somewhat, though to be fair, both of the things I’m basing my judgement are comedy features.

The first is, oddly enough, the Lego Batman movie. I can understand not having seen this film, because from the outside, it didn’t look or sound good, but the whole thing is basically a love letter to Batman/DC as a franchise, complete with possibly the silliest incarnation of the character so far. This Joker is utterly obsessed with proving himself as Batman’s equal, as the greatest villain to rival the greatest hero. He’s probably the most potentially homoerotic interpretation, which is kind of silly considering he’s literally a Lego dude. But the movie is funny, and so is he, which is the key point.

The other recent addition to this list is the Harley Quinn animated series, where the Joker obviously plays a significant role. Now, I’m not really familiar at all with this interpretation, having not seen the show, but considering the memes going around about Batman apparently not doing oral, and that having stemmed from this show, it’s not hard to imagine the Joker’s portrayal being similarly silly- even if his canonical abusee is the protagonist. Like, I’m pretty sure he’s a bastard in this one, but he’s also the butt of the joke, considering the series is in large part about Harley getting over him and moving past that part of her life (and ideally hooking up with Poison Ivy, because, come on)

I guess my point is that the Joker is an inherently comic character, in all that entails. You cannot have the Joker not be in some way silly without making massive changes to his design, his characterisation, and his ideals- which is pretty much what has happened in the past few years. I mean, the guy’s got bright green hair, he wears purple suits, he kills people with laughing gas.

This comic, by artist FruitEater, is kind of what inspired this whole post. It’s such a silly little thing from a silly little trend, but it really stuck in my head, and not just because it reminded me of my past self- a child who was super into Crazy Frog when I was, like, 10. It’s a comic that couldn’t exist were it not for the passage of time beyond the era of edgy Joker. Time has moved on- Gamers Rise Up is dying (the subreddit got banned, where else are they supposed to go?), cringe culture is dying, and the Joker is a character that’s allowed to be funny again.

We can laugh with the Joker again.

#ramble #the joker #god that's a tag i didn't expect to put on this blog #batman #(i guess?)#clearing my search history after posting this so the government doesn't think i'm a scumfuck

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i-amusemyself · 7 years

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All 100 Questions.

Bloody hell okay thank you!!! 😄😄😄

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?Yeah, Id say so.

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?Aint never had anyone to fake it with 😂 Ngl tho its the sort of thing id do (which is terrible i know)

3. If you could have one super power, what would it be?Mind reading.

4. Do you think youre gonna be rich in 7-8-9 years?I’d be worried if I didnt have more money than I have now, but idk.

5. Tell us some funny drunk story?Oh jeez erm, I don’t really have any 😂 My friends occasionally remind me of the time at the school christmas ball one of the business teachers turned up and I quickly ran away while aggressively whispering “oh no he knows im a lesbian, aimee told him”.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?We work better as friends, its less stressful.

7. If you had to choose one way to die what would it be?See I’m really torn with this question. Part of me thinks itd be nice just to go in my sleep, with a heart attack or something. Its quick and painless you know.But equally I wonder if it would be better to maybe, like, have something where I knew I was gonna die. Because then I’d have time to try and do everything on my bucket list and say goodbye to everyone. Also maybe at that point I’d welcome death lmao.

8. What are your current goals?Idk? Im waiting on A level results which I really hope I’ve done well in.I hope to make lots of new friends at uni and learn how to look after myself quickly I guess. I dont know.

9. Do you like someone?I like a lot of people 😆

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?Im really not sure??? There arent many people I expect anything from and even then my standards are pretty low. So like, I dont really get disappointed by people, only occasionally by situations.

11. Do you like your body?I could hate it a lot more, but I wouldnt say I’m happy with my body or general appearance. I struggle a lot with my features and my weight and the scars I have (which is ridiculous but thats what mental illness is)

12. Can you keep a diet?I mean if I wasnt on the diet im on rn (with lots of restrictions) id probs be in hospital 😂

13. If the whole world was listening to you right now, what would you say?Honestly id pass out under the pressure of it 😂 idk, id tell them all to take a chill pill but no one would listen.

14. Do you work?Nah, i had 3 jobs at once last yeah but now I’ve ended up with none.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of your life what would it be?Either garlic bread or chocolate I cant decide!

16. Would you get a tattoo?I’m v much planning on getting one in the near future so yh!!

17. Something you dont mind spending all your money on?Plane tickets.

18. Can you drive?Yeah! I havent driven since I passed my test, but hopefully I havent forgotten how to that quickly!

19. When was the last time someone told you youre beautiful?…I cant remember. Thats depressing (not that I blame them).

20. What was the last thing you cried for?Argh I have no idea why I was crying, my brain just wasnt doing its job so everything made me stressed and sad.

21. Do you keep a journal?I keep a blog for diary posts but besides that nah

22. Is life fun?If you allow it to be, yeah

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?Tf is that supposed to mean? I guess if you know the person well it is.

24. Whats your dream car?I dont know about Dream Car, id have to research it loads to decide what my absolute fave it. Although rn I’d really love a ‘67 VW beetle bc theyre small and cheap on insurance 😂

25. Are grades in school important?My own grades are super important to me, (to the point its probably unhealthy) but in terms of how the people around me do, it doesnt really matter to me. I mean, I want everyone to do well, but I dont judge people based on it.

26. Describe your crush.She’s funny and all around awesome and interesting and good at deep convos and beautiful and way out of my league.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?The last one I read called The Bell Jar. It was unlike anything I’ve ever read and made me think about a lot of things. Also I related a lot with the main character.

28. What was your last lie?Eh, probably “im fine”.

29. Dumbest lie you ever told?Idk?? I only keep track of the good lies 😉

30. Is crying in front of people embarrasing?It shouldnt be but yeah, I try my best not to.

31. Something you did and are proud of?Umm, idk im p proud of playing basketball and representing my region/training with england. But i quit that so 👏 dicks out for my regrettable decisions 👏

32. Whats your favourite cocktail?Never had one

33. Something you are good at?Annoying people and being clingy 😂 also maths ig

34. Do you like small kids?It depends on the child, the day of the week, the lunar cycle, my menstrual cycle, how hungry I am…Yh legit sometimes I hate them sometimes I love them.

35. How are you feeling right now?Great omg I just got my best friend to watch mamma mia and now shes high on life next to me.

36. What would you name your daughter/son?🤐 there are a couple of names for girls I like and like 2 boys names? But i dont wanna say bc theyre embarrasing.

37. What do you need to be happy?Good company, good food and possibly music.

38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now?Theres always at least 3 people I would love to punch 😂

39. What was the last gift you recieved?My best friend got me a necklace and I almost cried its so beautiful

40. What was the last gift you gave?The gift of my company @only-slightly-dangerous 😉😉😉

41. What was the last concert you went to?I went to to see Amber Run in february

42. Favourite place to shop at?Um, as in shop? A place called blue banana probs (england’s hot topic smh)

43. Who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander bc they helped me to understand who I am and how I feel and to be loud and proud about it.And Luke Cutforth bc he’s so open about his mental health and struggles with self harm but hes so happy now.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?18 lmao

45. How old were you when you first got high?It aint happened yet (and i dont really want it to)

46. How old were you when you first had sex?It aint happened yet smh

47. When was your first kiss?As far as im concerned never

48. Something you want to do until the end this year?What….does this mean….? Idk???

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadnt done?It’s more stuff I wish I had done tbh. I suppose I said things I shouldnt have or got too involved in drama, but you kinda need all that secondary school shit to learn from it

50. Post a selfie.Lmao nah fam

51. Who are you most comfortable around?My best friend by a mile. Privacy who?

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.Abandonment without explanation.

53. What kind of books do you read?Anything non fiction about medicine/being a doctor/disease/psycopaths.Besides that whatever has been recommended.

54. What would you tell your 12 y/o self?1. Youre gay2. You and I both know you arent joking about being “a dude trapped in a girls body” stop laughing it off and confront it.3. Stand up for yourself.4. Chill out.5. Laugh a lot more omg

55. What is your favourite flower?It’s between petunias and roses

56. Any bad habits you have?Not answering peoples messages unless theyre Certain Person A or Certain Person B.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?Ones that are out of my league and could kick my ass apparently. Also ones that are kind, listen and think a lot I guess

58. What was the last thing you cried for?Already answered

59. Is there something you dont eat? A food that truly disgusts you?I dont eat loads of stuff bc my guts hate me 😂 but besides all that I’m actually the worlds least picky eater. The only thing I dont like is raw tomato. Thats it.

60. Are you in love?I wish

61. Something you find romantic?All the clichés ngl 😂 just anything that says “i love you” or “i was thinking about you” really

62. How long was your longest relationship?Like 4 months? Barely long term.

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?Oh jeez i hate these theyre so stereotype-y1. Bitching2. Not supporting each other3. ….?

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?1. Not supporting each other2. Massive egos3. Yelling

65. What are you saving money for?Uni so I dont starve to death!

66. How would you describe your bad side?Hmm, idk, it depends what someone did to get on my bad side. I’d say stubborn, bitter and angry tho usually.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?I could be wrong but I think so long as someone has morally good intentions they are usually a good person, whether they always succeed or not. So yeah, I like to think I am.

68. What are you living for?My friends and the hope I have for my future.

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?Piracy? Thats it.

70. Do you like your money?….did I type this question wrong or??

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?Okay, the honest answer? Yeah. When I was a lot younger and less mature and someone said something that hurt me, I tried to retaliate with equally hurtful comments. I like to think I wouldnt do that now.

72. Ever sent nudes?Lol no

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?Hell no

74. Favourite candy?All candy hates me 😂

75. Is there a blog you visit everyday or almost every day? Tag them.Yeah @oneshappyplace knows I regularly spam her with notes in search or Quality Memes (im so sorry)

76. Do you play any computer games? Whats ur fave?Nah, as if I have time 😂

77. Favourite TV series?Argh I canny choose? I love the IT Crowd, I love supernatural, I love Sherlock, I love in the flesh…

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?I’m not religious and personally I don’t believe there’s a god or higher power but I could be wrong.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?The Bell Jar. See 27.

80. What do you think about vegetarians and veganism?I respect it I guess? At one point I was p much a vegetarian until I had to restrict my diet sooo. Tho I could never be one now, let alone a vegan.

81. How long have you been on tumblr?Too long 😂😂😂 Like 3 or 4 years?

82. Do you like chinese food?Love it!

83. McDonalds or Subway?(Never been to subway so) McDonalds.

84. Vodka or Whisky?(Never had whisky so) Vodka.

85. Alcohol or Drugs?(Never had drugs so) Alcohol.

86. Ever been out of your country?I’m currently in the USA so yeah 😂

87. Meaning behind your blog name?It’s p self explanatory and also v true

88. What are you scared of?Abandonment, deep water, knives, toys with battery packs.

89. Last time you were insulted?Ugh, probs like when I met up with a load of school friends for our leaver’s ball.

90. Most traumatic experience?I’d rather not answer that lmao (plus itd take a long time to type)

91. Perfect date idea?Chilling and listening to each other’s favourite songs while coexisting and eating fast food 😂 that or ikea ngl

92. Favourite app on your phone?Tumblr. Even though I hate it, it also keeps me sane.

93. What colour are the walls in your room?White and blue.

94. Do you watch youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I love so many youtubers omg. Lukeisnotsexy, mileschronicles, realisticallysaying and filthy frank are faves

95. Share your favourite quote.Pick your fights.

96. What is the meaning of life?To live life to the fullest so youre happy and have minimal regrets. Also to be kind and helpful so even if you dont change the world you might help someone else to.

97. Do you like horror movies?I think….? But I’m not good at watching them alone 😂

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Eh…again, would rather not answer (we got some nice supressed memories here)

99. Do you feel lucky or special in any way?I’m still totally in awe of how lucky I am to have met my best friend from 3000 miles away. Like, the probability of it was so so slim and yet here we are.

100. Can you keep a secret?I think so yh! It’s something that I consider super important.

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chrismaverickdotcom · 7 years

Text

The Lie of the Anthem and the Flag

James Harrison punching Hitler, one of the most popular comics we ever did at http://cosmichellcats.com

Being an American means I get to bitch and moan. Today I am going to bitch and moan about America.

If you joined the military to “fight for the flag”… well, I’m sorry that you were lied to. I don’t automatically thank you for your service. I don’t think you automatically deserve my respect… in fact, it’s quite possible that I don’t respect you at all. I’m sorry if that gets under your skin. I will happily live my life complaining about shit that I don’t like and sometimes that might include you. And it sucks that you have to deal with that… I’m just kind of a dick. I mean… I’m not going to stop or anything… I’m not even going to slow down. Because my right to complain and bitch and moan is what you actually fought for. This kind of sucks for you. And it’s not your fault. Because you were lied to.

My grandfather was a WWII veteran and member of the fabled Red Ball Express (a predominantly black military convoy that has the distinction of being an early example of mass whitewashing in Hollywood film, but that’s a story for another day). When I was a kid, there was a big controversy about flag burning as free speech. Whenever my grandfather heard someone say that flag burners should prosecuted because “people fought for the flag” or “people died for that flag” he would say “I didn’t fight for a flag. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. If you fought for a piece of cloth you’re an idiot.” See, he understood that he was fighting to protect the interests of a country. A country that in 1944, quite frankly didn’t give a shit about him. A country that treated him like he was somehow less than human because he was black. But he did it anyway. Why, because he had another saying. Something that I, my mother, my uncles, my brothers and cousins heard quite frequently… “who ever told you life was fair? Point them out to me so I can tell them they lied to you.” And he was right. Life isn’t fair. But in my grandfather’s case he was also fighting for a dream. He was fighting for the hope that one day I would get to have a better life in that county. A life where maybe I wouldn’t be treated as less than human because of the color of my skin. And for the record… for that, he gets my respect. I’m not saying he should have your respect. He wouldn’t want it. You didn’t know the man. I respect him because he was my grandfather and I loved him. He earned it. And part of his earning it, for me, was his understanding what he was fighting for. More on that later.

Lets do a little history lesson.

In 1773, a group of terrorists in the city of Boston got together and rioted against their sovereign government because they felt that their tax structure was unfair and that it wasn’t right that they weren’t allowed to complain about it. There were protests, bitching and moaning, civic disobedience and a fair amount of breaking the law. This would eventually lead to them illegally openly revolting against that government three years later. After a bloody seven-year war, they won and formed their own country. One of the founding principles of this new country being the idea being that everyone was equal and had the right to bitch about whatever the fuck they wanted to.

Of course, “everyone” was kind of limited to white men who owned land. The land owning thing was dropped through people protesting a couple years later, but it would take about 80 more years for the white part to be dropped. And it didn’t happen easily. Getting there involved a lot of protests, bitching and moaning, civic disobedience and a fair amount of breaking the law. On both sides. In fact, the people who wanted to maintain the status quo of NOT treating black men as human beings actually revolted and separated from the country. There was a war over it and everything. And in the end, the side that was fighting for more rights for more people won.

Well, not all people. It still didn’t include women. That took another 50 years. Somehow this happened without a war. But it did take a lot of protests, bitching and moaning, civic disobedience and a fair amount of breaking the law.

And that’s not all, even with the right to vote technically guaranteed by the 15th amendment, Jim Crow laws effectively shut down this right (among others) for black people in many cases until the Civil Rights Act of 1964. And it wasn’t until the Civil Rights Act of 1991 that black people got the right to protection from work discrimination. And these anti-discrimination acts didn’t apply to sex, sexual orientation or gender identity until TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO. And each and every one of these things required a lot of protests, bitching and moaning, civic disobedience and a fair amount of breaking the law to happen. It also required a lot of people being killed before anyone paid enough attention. And these are just big popular ones. I could go on and on.

Why do I bring that up? You see, it’s simple. In each and every one of these cases, the country… that is, the government… was on the wrong side of what we, for the most part, now consider basic human decency. That means every time someone, including my grandfather, fought a war to protect the sanctity of the United States, they were defending something that at the time was wrong and inhumane by our standards today. Why did things change? Because people, not the government, not the armed forces, and in many cases not even citizens yet, protested, bitched and moaned, engaged in civic disobedience and broke a fair amount of laws. They did this until enough people paid attention and changed their mind… and then waited for the people who refused to change their minds to fucking die. Because cultural change is hard. I could go into a lot of the reasons why. I could explain hegemony and cultural shift and backlash… but the details don’t matter for what is already going to be a very long post. The point is, change happens… people gain rights… the world gets better… because a lot of people bitch moan and piss off the people who would attempt to maintain the status quo and deny those rights. That’s how it works.

One of the big civil rights things going on right now is #BlackLivesMatter. Because in 2017, some 152 years after the end of the civil war, it turns out we still have a problem with police randomly killing black people. I don’t want to argue this point. I’ve done it before. It’s not what this post is really about. If you don’t think that happens … just… fuck you… really… Fuck you!

Anyway, a couple years ago, San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick, started silently protesting in favor of #BlackLivesMatter by refusing to stand for the national anthem during a preseason game. He’d actually been sitting for a couple games before anyone noticed, because it turns out no one really gave a shit about the 2nd string quarterback for the worst team in the NFC West during preseason. But once people noticed, this became a big story because it pissed off a lot of people because … uh… “how dare he protest something by disparaging the soldiers who died for that flag?” See, told you I’d get back to this. Several other players joined him. And some complained that he was being disrespectful. But really, the big deal was the random people across America that it pissed off.

This weekend, Marshawn Lynch did the same thing. Once again the controversy flared up. Oddly enough, some people were actually more pissed about this than they were the tragedy in Charlottesville this weekend. An irony that was not lost on the internet which helpfully made a lot of memes explaining how stupid it was for people to be more upset about player protests than they were about a fucking Nazi riot. I prefer to not make the equivocation. They aren’t the same thing. That said, if you do actually think that Marshawn Lynch not standing was the most important thing that happened this weekend, again… fuck you.

Anyway, something interesting happened to me yesterday. I spent the better part of the day arguing on Facebook with someone (who I won’t name here, but is welcome to out himself) because they posted a link to an article claiming that James Harrison of the Pittsburgh Steelers said in an interview Sunday morning on KPLX radio that “Anyone on my teams sits for the national anthem, they better be in a wheelchair.” This immediately rang false to me… for one thing, I know who James Harrison is. I’m a big fan, in fact. But he’s not particularly known for being patriotic. In fact, this is the guy who told THE LAST TWO US PRESIDENTS to fuck off when they invited him to the White House after his Super Bowl victories. It didn’t seem like something he’d do. So I did about two seconds of research and found that there was another claim that Harrison had said something similar last year. That also turned out to be fake. And then I thought it through and remembered that I live in Pittsburgh… and there is no station named KPLX here. See, KPLX is a country radio station in Dallas… which is… uh…. not Pittsburgh. And their Sunday morning programming is a local news show followed by a nationally syndicated country music countdown show. There was literally no place for Harrison to have even done this interview. It was clearly a fake news article (so fake that in less than 24 hours, Lockerdome, the website where it was posted, has taken it down).

I informed the person who posted it that it was fake and how I knew and that he’d been trolled.

This set off a big argument. See, the guy who forwarded the article was very much of the opinion that it “doesn’t matter whether he said it or not. Because he should have said it.” I pointed out that the problem was that he’d likely not like Harrison’s actual politics and that there are plenty athletes who actually ARE against the protests. Harrison just apparently isn’t one of them. By posting an obviously fake news article he actually weakens his point. It makes him look like he’s not very smart. This was apparently unimportant to the guy. See, this person is a big armed forces supporter… very much of the “you owe veterans respect. You owe it to them to stand for the national anthem. And if you don’t like it get out of the country or just die.” This devolved into me kind of making fun of him, including making a reference to him being Col. Jessep from A Few Good Men, which he apparently took as a compliment because he seems to not realize that Jack Nicholson plays the villain in that movie.

It also involved me trying to explain logic to him (yeah, yeah, I know… losing battle… and I’ve pointed that out before… but still). He claimed he didn’t care whether it was true or not because it doesn’t matter what the image is, it’s the message that is important. I asked him if he’d feel the same way for any image. Would he have still forwarded the post if it had been attached to an image of Hillary Clinton? He said of course he would, and in fact it would be even better but that he would never live long enough for “her to say something that made that much sense.” I pointed out that he hasn’t lived long enough for Harrison to say something like that either. He reiterated that if he had photoshop he would have added a pic of Hilary to the quote right then and there. Because it’s the message that counts not the image. So I posted the most recent tweet from @PresVillain, a great Twitter feed that simply adds actual quotes from Trump to comics featuring the Red Skull.

…ON MANY SIDES–!#PresidentSupervillain pic.twitter.com/nXhVTNexEm

— President Supervillain (@PresVillain) August 12, 2017

He didn’t seem to like that at all!

So he called me an asshole (I am) and then once again complained that I deserved to die because I don’t respect the tradition of standing at NFL football games. You know, that age old tradition that dates all the way back to 2009. Oh, you didn’t know that? Yeah, 2009 is when the NFL started having players stand for the national anthem. Before that the players weren’t even on the field until after the anthem, and for the most part everyone in the crowd just ignored it. They mostly didn’t play it on TV, except in big games like the Super Bowl. It was just a thing that people vaguely knew happened and nobody cared about. So if you care about it now, it’s not really tradition… unless of course you’re really married to an idea that happened “a little while ago”. No, what you care about is disparaging the black guy who is basically doing nothing except annoying you because he won’t step in line to your expectations just to point out the hypocrisy of the fact that you think your non-tradition is more important than his right to NOT DIE.

And that is kind of the point. That is why the flag protest matters. The specific thing that he is fighting for is to NOT fucking die. To show people that what he deserves is basic human decency… and to NOT DIE. A lot has been made of “well, then he should protest some other way.” But see, that’s the key to a good protest. The entire point of the protest is that it bothers people that you don’t agree with. Sure, Kaepernick could protest in a way that doesn’t offend people who don’t agree with him, but that’s not much of a protest. See, there’s one kind of protest where people go and march somewhere… and that’s all well and good. But the most useful protest isn’t the one that energizes the people who agree with you. It’s the one that pisses off the people who don’t. That’s where change happens. Why? Because at the end of the day, all Kaepernick is doing is… nothing… He’s literally just doing nothing. It’s not very notable. Where all the press comes from is people who disagree with him complaining. They’re the ones doing all the work! The brilliance of Kaepernick’s protest is that his press is generated almost entirely by people who don’t agree with him.

When my grandfather returned from WWII he came back to a world that still didn’t give a shit about black people. Because veterans don’t automatically get respect. When veterans came home from Viet Nam, people literally spit on them. Again. No respect. And the flag? Well, the Supreme Court ruled that the flag was so not sacred that it’s completely ok to burn it just to piss people off way back in 1989… you know, two whole years before the country decided that as a black man I had an actual right to a job. And all of these things are because the actual foundation of this country… the actual ideology behind us existing in the first place, the very thing that soldiers are actually going to war for and dying for, is defending is the right to complain about things you don’t like. Specifically, you are defending Kaepernick’s, Lynch’s and even my right to complain, bitch and moan, and generally not respect you! You are defending our right to engage in civil disobedience just to make things better for ourselves whether you like it or not. That’s why it’s called service. Because you serve.

And for that part, I actually am thankful. Thank you for spreading the message inadvertently with your poorly conceived complaints. Every time you do, other people… people we cannot reach, see your complaints and think “wow, that guy sounds really, really stupid. Maybe I don’t want to think like him” and cultural change happens. I am thankful… but I’m also sorry.

I’m sorry that you were lied to. I’m sorry that you were made to believe that you were fighting for a piece of cloth. I’m sorry you were made to believe that serving entitled you to some level of respect. See, because if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t think Kaepernick should be allowed to kneel… if you’re the kind of person that is offended by it… well, then frankly, you were tricked. You shouldn’t have served to protect the rights of a country and an ideology that you don’t believe in. You were tricked into serving a country that you don’t actually understand. You were tricked by being sold a bill of goods wrapped up in some pretty colors and a catchy tune. You tell me who told you this so I can go and tell them they lied to you. It kind of sucks and it wasn’t fair. And life isn’t fair. Sort of like being born black in America. And so I’ll make you a deal. And I’m betting Colin Kaepernick will agree with me… I’ll start respecting you and the flag and standing for the national anthem… as soon as cops stop killing black men.

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The Lie of the Anthem and the Flag was originally published on ChrisMaverick dotcom

#BlackLivesMatter #civil rights #Civil Rights Act of 1964 #Colin Kaepernick #flag #james harrison #Jim Crow laws #Marshawn Lynch #National anthem #NFL #protests #racism #stars and stripes #United States

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