So after tearing your heart out and shattering it into a million pieces over the korean equivalent of the Dame Dame Guy, the game manages to get you all anxious from a poker match between Roldion Raskonikov(♀️), Tipereth C, Yaoified Karl Marx and a fucking Mariachi.
If that does not become G.O.T.Y then I don't know where this world is going to
Finished reading Crime and Punishment and I can say that Raskonikov has left me with an ambivalent knot; he was an asshole, almost always vilifying, but he would still throw himself into saving your dog inside a burning building and then give you his last coins so that your dog can go to a vet and you can eat something.
I have nothing to ship Raskonikov with Razumikhin but Rodion and Sonya is a much funnier ship that makes a lot less sense, which I absolutely adore. From Sonya's perspective it makes no sense at all (her life in general is hilarious as fuck):
Some guy you don't know is in your parents' house standing over your dying father, probably all in blood. You are in clothes that show your profession as a prostitute. He says he will help your family monetarily by paying for part of the funeral. And when he leaves your mother probably tells you that this dude used to drink with your father.
When you want to see if this man was joking you go to his house to ask him about everything. He lives in an apartment the size of a dog kennel and, to make matters worse, you are the fifth person in this small flat. He is acting strage and tells you to sit next to his mother and sister which for a shy girl like you is terrifying. There's also his friend there. When the three of you go out with this guy and his friend, you keep quiet and try to forget this strange situation.
He comes to see you the other evening, unannounced. He insults you, your religion, asks if your mother beat you, says you should run away together, says it would be better if your stepmother died. This guy kisses your feet. He tells you that he has disowned his mother and sister and now only you are left to him (you don't know the guy). And before leaving he tells you that he knows who killed your friend.
There is a lot going on, but it is a lot of things. Some guy accused you of stealing, your mother died, this guy who apparently has something wrong with his head told you that he was the murderer. You told him that he should confess his guilt. He goes to the police, after a few minutes he comes out looking stupidly at you and then goes back inside. He has been convicted. You visit him because you have never seen such a strange man before. He hates you for some reason, by the way the inmates are bulling him in "prison" and they adore you. After a year or so he professes his love for you. The end.
Why yes, I did finish Crime and Punishment and I gotta say that Raskonikov had a skill issue, if it was me I would just not feel bad about killing that mean old lady. Maybe about the nice lady who helps her, but I would've gotten away with it *and* gotten to sell the stuff.
so uh. I forgot to liveblog my reading of crime and punishment last night. imma just sum up what happened rq
so raskolnikov told sonya that he killed lizaveta and the pawnbroker. and poor poor sonya. I feel so bad for her. shes an angel she doesnt deserve this
then katarina ivanovna forced her children to sing and dance on the streets, fell down, and freaking DIED????? once again. poor sonya. she doesnt deserve this.
and if things couldnt possibly get any worse porfiry had to show up and tell raskonikov he had 1-2 business days to confess to the murder. wtf.
and now raskolnikov and svidrigailov are sitting in a bar together about to talk about dunya.
You would’ve loved listening to music with ANC turned on deafening everything around you while being lost in thought trying to get home as fast as possible but refusing to take public transport (and somehow not getting hit by a car)
Ich bin einsam aber ich hasse es auch meistens mit Leuten abzuhängen und niemand will mit mir im Nieselregen spazieren, mir seine eigenen Gedichte vorlesen, als Gemeinschaftsprojekt Parodien blutiger biblischer Szenen auf eine Leinwand kleistern, klassische Tragödien melodramatisch auf dem Wohnzimmerteppich inszenieren, Literaturempfehlungen und Funfacts mit mir teilen, niemand scheint so ein Mensch zu sein wie ich, ich identifiziere mich mit Ōba Yōzō und Raskonikov, aber die sind wenigstens Literatur und keine komplett gescheiterte Realität. Und selbst Rodja hat seinen Razumikhin und hat Sonja und eine coole Schwester, und Yozo versteckt seine Bilder im Schrank, säuft mit seinem linksradikalen Bohemien Kumpel und geht ins Bordell— das ist vmtl eher schlecht, aber menschlich und lebendig. Ich dagegen bin tot. Ich hab mein Brüderchen, eine besondere Familie, die Leute halten mich manchmal für einen religiösen Fanatiker. Ich hab eigentlich sogar Freunde oder so ähnlich. Aber ich bin ein toter Vampir und ein Kriegsverbrecher, und nichts fühlt sich lebendig an, weil mir schon lange das Blut kalt in den Adern stockt.
Vielleicht sollte ich auch ins Bordell gehn. (Schock ) Bruder ne, es schüttelt mich schon der Gedanke an einen Kuss. Körper, warme massige Körper, Gott warum. Fremde Spotze. Ich sagte ja bereits, ich bin ein Vampir. Ich spür die verdammte Wärme nicht, in mir regt sich nichts, ich sehne mich schon nach solcher Liebe (David und Jehonatan), doch alles was aufkommt sind ironischer Ekel und leichte Selbstverachtung. Mich nährt und erweckt nur der Lebenssaft, tropfende pulsierende Energie - Ich saug sie euch aus bis aufs Blut und was übrig bleibt sind kläglich schwankende schwermütige Leichen, gellendes Lachen. Lieber allein bleiben. Lieber als das, ich werde sonst meine Freunde morden, dies liegt in der Natur der Vampire. Lieber alleine hungern und öffentlich versagen! Ich entsage jedem Machtstreben, ich will weder Einfluss noch Bande, d.h.: keine Kontakte, keine Ketten; ich will keine Herrschaft und ich will weder Stiefel noch Goldmünzen von meinem Zaren, ich will kein Beamter sein und kein Händler, ich will keine Oden an die Sozialdemokratie schreiben, keine Straßen pflastern, und auch den Passanten keine lustigen Lieder singen. Ich will auch kein Brot backen, kein Getreide sähen, und keine Menschen retten.
Tagged by both @badgrl-675 and @cykes-dono... I'm so popular 🥰 specialest girl on this website
Three ships: orldente (Olga orly x Olivia aldente), mercedmond (the count of monte cristo (Dumas catch these hands for that ending you gave mercédès you milfphobic bitch)), franvriska 😍 I'm not like other girls, two girls don't even have to meet and I'll ship them
Last song: coin locker baby by maretu... is just funky
Last movie: wall-e!!!! Those 2 space lesbians own me heart
Currently reading: christ let's run down the list again!!! Physically reading with my eyes the aeneid and crime and punishment (Hashtag Dido truther, hashtag Raskonikov was the first poor little meow meow), and i’m listening to an audiobook of the count of monte cristo because special interest momence. i also shoved omniscient reader’s viewpoint and an eons-long yugioh au bandori fic into a text to speech program so like im reading them but rlly im just listening 2 them
Currently watching: adventure time :] and also a playthru of aa6
Currently consuming: just had a cookies n cream chocolate bar mwah
Currently craving: poppin chicken :(
Tagging: @loveize @casgender and uhhh fuck, any other mutuals that wanna do this!!