#she lives in his head rent free and he fuckin hates it

[super-paper]

Every time I read a MHA thinkpiece that can be summed up as "AFO is an evil All Might and Tomura is an evil Izuku", I'm like.........,

#I'm fully aware that mha is alllllll about the overlap in origins/themes between its characters #and some of the AFO/All Might + Tomura/Izuku thinkpieces are undoubtedly well written with solid points #but a lot of the time they're written as a means of explaining why AFO shouldn't be MHAs/Izuku's villain and that tends to sour my opinion #I feel understanding how Izuku acts as a savior to both All Might *and* Tomura is relevant to understanding The Vision at any rate #Anyway AFO blatantly plagiarizing Nana and twisting her lessons to the extent that he does is one of the more darkly hilarious parts of MHA #she lives in his head rent free and he fuckin hates it #AFO circa bst (b4 shimura tragedy): ''So Shimura thinks she can nab any old orphan off the street & raise him into a symbol of peace huh.'' #AFO: “Well let's just see how she feels about ~symbol raising~ when I start homeschooling her orphan grandson” #Ujiko: ''um I'm pretty sure that kid isn't an orphan??'' #AFO: "he isn't an orphan YET ;)''

[scarlettriot]

Okay, listen, I don’t need annnyone telling me how half baked an idea this is but it’s living rent fucking free in my head right now so I’m throwing it in a post (as opposed to in @twisteddaydreams1135 DMs like I have been).

A/B/O stuff. Alpha Kiri and Beta Reader. I write Beta’s a little differently so if you end up not liking it, it is what it is.

No real warnings here. It’s a lot of fluff and comfort honestly.

A Drabble that ended up being about 2K words… my bad.

No editing or proofing. Again, my bad.

Alpha Pro Hero Red Riot who co-owns and agency with Dynamight. Red Riot who’s in his 30s and not married or even mated. He works himself into the dirt because it keeps his mind occupied. Handles everyone’s paperwork. Picks up all the extra shifts at the office. His friends and coworkers can’t remember the last time he took a vacation, if ever!

But, Kirishima never complains. His pack his happy and he claims that makes him happy. But, the pack is getting worried. The dark circles under his once bright eyes never seem to go away. He only redyes his hair when Bakugou reminds him. He’s barely around for pack dinners and if he is home when they’re happening he usually just takes a plate with thanks and what he thinks is a genuine smile and goes to his apartment. He was still a phenomenal leader. So caring with that big heart of his. In fact, it seemed Kirishima cared about everyone around him far more than he ever cared for himself.

So, the pack came up with a plan, you.

You were new to the city, looking for work with your resume being passed around and Mina got her hands on it. A Personal Assistant could be exactly what big guy needed.

She brought your resume to Bakugou who agreed you seemed like a good fit with strong references and skills to match. And, you were a Beta. There’d be no chance your scent would bother Kirishima and both Mina and Bakugou agreed that was a good thing.

So, you started an hour before he did on a sunny Monday morning. In a small office right next to Red Riots. He came in with his protein drink and did a double take. They hired someone new? Since when? Last he checked him and Bakugou approved all hires together.

“Who the heck is she, do we even have room in the budget for a new hire?” He asked his friend after closing his office door.

“Made room in the budget for her. Her name is Y/N and she’s your new personal assistant.”

He made room because everyone took a small pay cut. Which they all agreed was worth it if it gets Kirishima to take a break and fucking relax for once.

“I don’t need a personal assistant. No one else has one!”

“Because everyone else can manage their time just fuckin’ fine. You can’t. You haven’t for almost a damn decade now. Not since—”

“Don’t.” Kirishima rumbled. “I know what you’re gonna say and just don’t. I’ll try and work with her but I make no promises.”

Bakugou knew that was the best outcome he could ask for right now so he didn’t fight him on it. Just nodded as Kirishima left his office and watched as he walked into yours.

Your new boss was nice. He lived up to everything you heard about him aside from a few things:

Kirishima wasn’t a fan of interviews. He would do them but he always looked incredibly worn down when he returned from one.

Kirishima had to be reminded to dye that red mane of his. You scheduled time for that.

And perhaps the biggest thing you learned about the man;

Kirishima HATED down time. You scheduled breaks in his day per his friends requests and either he flat out ignored them or he was in your office bothering you the entire time. Even on his days off he found reasons to be in the office. His newest was bringing you lunch.

You didn’t mind these little visits. In fact, you kinda liked the big guy showing up in your door way. He was a change of pace from some of the other Alpha’s you’ve worked with. And, not that you’d ever admit to crushing on your boss to anyone else, you could at least admit to yourself that you liked having him around.

Still, you had to remind him that this was his day off and he shouldn’t be at work.

“I’ll take a break when you take a break. After all, you are my personal assistant. If you’re working, I should be too.”

“I don’t think that’s how that works, Red.”

He shrugs those wide shoulders. “It is if I say it is.”

You just rolled your eyes at him and reminded him again that there’s still things you need to work on when he’s out of office. Just like how you keep working when he goes on patrol. But, he waved his hand and changed the subject as usual.

Despite feeling like he definitely didn’t need someone managing his schedule, Kirishima actually really liked having you around.

You were easy to talk to, you didn’t seem to judge him, and he knew you were doing what you could to keep his best interests in mind even if he wasn’t.

He wouldn’t dare admit it out loud or to anyone but he knew deep down he had a hint of a crush on you. It started when he watched you storm up to Denki and push a paper against his chest. “Kirishima is not handling your strawberry milk requests anymore, I’ve told you this. If you want special snacks so much, put the order in yourself.”

He knew his friend only did it to get a rise out of you. And it worked every time. It was cute to see the way you cared about him even if it was just from a professional stand point.

When he had free time in the weeks that followed he found himself fond of hanging around you. You were a Beta but whatever perfume you had on was pleasant and he could feel the worries he carried around with him for years ebb away when you were near.

That’s why even on his days off he sought you out.

He’d sit at the little table in your office and you asked him about his interest and found some common ground between the both of you. Things to talk about and fill the quiet time. It wasn’t in the job description but he was thankful for it nonetheless.

After reminding him yet again he wasn’t supposed to be in the office on his days off you asked him wouldn’t he rather be doing something different instead? Something more fun?

“The things I enjoyed doing aren’t really fun alone. I go for my runs and workouts and that’s about it.”

“You have plenty of friends, Red! And you’re still one of the most eligible Pro Hero bachelors, I get like 10 emails a day asking if you would agree to a date with people if you’re looking for something more romantic. You don’t have to be alone!”

“My friends have families that they spend time with on their days off, just as they should. They don’t need to go spending time with me. And I’m not looking for romantic right now.” or possibly ever again, he thought.

“Alright, so, what are you gonna do on your next day off?”

“Probably this!” He grinned all proud of himself.

But you had a grin of your own. “Might be a little difficult since I listened to what you said: how I should take time off when you do.”

“Oh…” Even though he tried he couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice. “That’s good though! You should take more time off.”

“Yeah…” You pushed some food around your plate for a moment and then he heard a little sigh before you spoke. “On my days off I like going to this little book shop I found.” You described the area and he knew exactly where it was. “It’s got a little café inside. I’ll probably go around 11 and be there for a few hours, if you wanted to meet me.”

He hadn’t agreed to plans so quickly in he could remember how long!

On his day off Kirishima was up bright and early, went for a run, came back and showered, changed into jeans and a nicer shirt.

“Where the hell are you goin’?” Bakugou asked, just as stunned to see the man looking so chipper and up and moving on his day off rather than secluding himself in his room.

“I’ve got plans! See ya later!” He called and headed to the bookstore without realizing he had two nosy friends following him. One blonde. And the other pink.

They watched him from across the street and saw him walk up to you with a grin like they hadn’t seen on his face in so very long and they knew hiring you was the best decision they could’ve made.

The two went home, not wanting to interrupt the plans, and left you two to the outing.

Kirishima stood beside you in line while you two talked about the different options the cafe had. You told him what items where your favorite and what you thought he might like.

It was while you waited off to the side for your number to be called that he said something that caught you off guard. “The perfume you wear, it’s nice.”

While the compliment was appreciated and made your cheeks a little warmer you looked up at him confused. “Thanks but I don’t wear perfume.”

Now he looked confused. “But, I smell it all the time. Have for weeks now.” Your eyes went wide as he tried his best to describe it. It wasn’t your shampoo or body wash, not even the lotion you wear from time to time.

You knew Alpha’s had good noses but you weren’t expecting this. “Kirishima, that’s not something I wear. That’s my scent.”

#I might expand on this #if the thoughts persist #a/b/o #a/b/o dynamics #alpha kirishima #beta reader #kirishima x reader #kirishima drabble #best red rock shark ♥️🦈

[thecountesstribe]

I got a few things to say and this might be a long rant. Spoilers below and please understand that I'm following the show's timeline not the book. There are also some book spoilers as well.

Aemond Targaryen, Daemon Targaryen, Alicent Hightower, Otto Hightower, Aegon II Targaryen you'll all pay for your crimes!

PSA for all the people that need to hear this, AEMOND TARGARYEN INTENDED TO KILL LUCERYS VELARYON. I REPEAT, AEMOND TARGARYEN INTENDED TO KILL LUCERYS VELARYON. If you think otherwise I need whatever alcohol you're having. He was directly responsible for getting Lucerys killed. He was chasing and antagonizing an inexperienced rider and dragon, on an old war dragon (who apparently likes standing on business) during a storm no less, what did he think was going to happen? “BuT VHaGar" nothing! Yeah that old ass lizard wasn't listening but Arrax in a scared attempt was trying to protect himself and Luke. He stole Vhagar when they were younger, claimed it, got jumped (which was the funniest shit though), beat up his cousins in that same fight and was about to bash in the head of the next heir in line to the throne when his feral little brother cut out his eye. Which he himself said was a fair price so there was no reason to be harbouring that animosity towards his nephew and allowing him to live rent free in his mind. He won in the end; the fight when they were children and the oldest, largest dragon. Aemond is one of the few people directly responsible for the suffering of our sweet girl Helaena and her children. You'll pay for your crimes!! I'm not going to say he kick started the dance he just fast tracked it.

DAEMON TARGARYEN IS AN ABSOLUTE VILE PIECE OF SHIT! Look if you read the books and watched the show you'll know that this man isn't a ray of sunshine or a breath of fresh air, I'm sticking to the show timeline, he's an absolute ass. Good father and semi decent husband aside (the bar and standard for both those claims are in the 1000th level of purgatory btw) he's a vile piece of shit. Sure it's just Daemon doing demon Daemon things anyway but BLOOD AND CHEESE? BLOOD AND FUCKIN CHEESE?!!! And the one that has to suffer for it is Helaena and those babies? Go after Aemond and euthanize him, not after Helaena and her kids. He's trash. He knew they didn't deserve that.

Alicent Hightower is a bitter hating ass bitch. I'm not sorry. Otto raising her aside, she needs to pay for her crimes. Alicent knew good and damn well that Viserys didn't want Aegon on the throne. So what did she do? Help her father usurp the throne. It was a fickle reason for her usurping the throne too. Realistically speaking that wasn't to protect her children. She just hated Rhaenyra and couldn't stand the fact that she was to be crowned. Not accepting the marriage proposal between Jace and Helaena because she was bitter was dumb as hell too. Putting her disappointment of a son on that throne, who is also a rapist was/is bound to end in shambles. She's also directly responsible for Helaena suffering as well. Marrying that poor girl to him even if it would've made her his queen.

Otto Hightower is a bum. He's a manipulative piece of shit and he deserves the absolute worst. Why would he do that to Alicent? She got stuck with the asshole for a dad and he suffered his daughter which in turn suffered his granddaughter and her children. For all his cunning and brains he didn't have the merit to do it on his own. So he unwillingly involved his daughter to put a green on the throne and they chose the worst of the worst green too. He orchestrated their own downfall. He'll pay.

I don't even want to give that bum a spare thought but AEGON II TARGARYEN IS FILTH. There isn't anymore to say. He wasn't a good husband, certainly not the father of the year, he isn't a good king and he's also a rapist. He knew he wasn't supposed to be on that throne. He said it himself. Instead of growing a backbone and standing up to his mother and her entourage, he decided to play a major role in usurping Rhaenyra's birthright. Which was reaffirmed again and again and again. He's responsible for his suffering and the suffering of Helaena and his children, the ones he claimed and all his other illegitimate ones. Rhaenys should've ended it at his false coronation. He needs to pay.

All in all, Helaena doesn't deserve anything that's going to happen to her and her children. Jace, Lucerys, Rhaena, Baela, Joffrey, Aegon III and Viserys II didn't deserve to get wrapped up in it as well. They were kids. If Alicent wasn't hating so hard and had raised those boys with a shred of decency we could've seen one of the best eras to come out of a Targaryen dynasty and I'm not talking about if Jace did indeed marry Helaena (wouldn't necessarily have been possible either cause book spoiler, Jace and lucerys were already betrothed to the Targaryen twins since they were kids), I'm just talking about all the kids getting along and being friends. I want a slice of life hotd now 😭

#house of the dragon #hotd #king viserys #house of the dragon season 2 #hotd season 2 #aemond targaryen #alicent hightower #otto hightower #aegon ii targaryen #daemon targaryen #helaena targaryen #jacerys velaryon #lucerys velaryon #rhaenyra targaryen #baela targaryen #rhaena targaryen #hotd spoilers #house of the dragon spoilers #joffrey velaryon #we could have had it all #team black #team green #I'm blaming that spineless king viserys too #he should've just named daemon his hand #dammit all to hell #fuck the teams those kids deserved better

[thepunkmuppet]

ok I was thinking about the hatchet town cameos and I just completely made up a ship (and possibly a nightmare time episode??) and now I’m insane and I need it to be real

max / ziggs

THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS

max comes across ziggy at night somewhere and wants to buy some weed, but ziggy says they don’t sell to bullies and max being max just straight up punches them in the face

they get caught by police and done for assault and selling drugs and end up doing community service together, and against all odds they fall in love.

ziggs helps max learn how to chill tf out for once in his life and be nice to people, and ziggs loves max’s passion about things and basically just sees him as a silly little guy just misunderstood also it’s his birthday etc. and despite his popularity literally everyone hates max so that is very new to him and it’s endearing as fuck

but yeah max is just having the crisis of a lifetime because ziggs is cool and relaxed and nice and non-binary (shock horror) and not like anyone he’s ever met before and WHY IS HE HAVING FLUFFY FEELINGS IT’S SO FUCKIN GROSS

seriously though just imagine their conversations. max at 100% volume talking shit and making stupid puns while ziggs is just like “yeah sick man :)”

also “HIS PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM BITCH” lives rent free in my head do you see my vision

I think the whole point of it would be the juxtaposition between them and Holy Ghost. as in grace technically killed him and turned him into a murderous ghost just because she liked him and and then literally fucked him to hell but ziggs just makes him a better person and a stoner and a cute boyfriend. minus whatever insane nightmare time plot there would be obviously but yeah :)

also idiots in love. THIS IS THE MAIN APPEAL TBH THEY ARE BOTH SO MIND-NUMBINGLY STUPID AND I LOVE THEM

also their ship name is either Smoky Ghost or Tie Die (get it get bc ziggy’s tie dye shirt and max’s ghost murdering do you get it do you get it I’m literally so proud of this you don’t understand)

but anyway MAX / ZIGGS THINK ABOUT IT!!!! I just think they should date ok repressed pansexual / bisexual / mlnb max jagerman is real to me

#max jagerman #ziggs #max x ziggs #max / ziggs #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #nightmare time #nmt #nmt2 #hatchetfield #hatchetfield universe #hatchetverse #starkid #team starkid #starkid productions #npmd spoilers #nerdy prudes must die spoilers #also despite the fact that they are both masc they would bond over their shared love of tig old bitties <3

[cosmo-watches-movies]

Underworld (2003)

Triggerwarning: Violence, Fake Blood, Gore, Guns

Plot: I've seen this movie three times and I still can't quite explain it. Something about an ancient war between vampires and (not quite) werewolves, that’s still raging on till modern day. There are five movies in the saga to this day, this one is the first. The plot revolves around the lycans trying to create a hybrid between both creatures to overthrow the vampires. Chosen one style. The Vampires don’t like that obviously.

Spoilers beyond this

Small disclaimer: I like this movie, like a lot. The story is a bit weird, and imo there is a bit to much talking and not enough ripping each other apart, but I do have a great time whenever I watch it. Some of my comments might not sound like it, but this movie is enjoyable. It's just , that enjoyability might differ depending on who you're rooting for. More on that later

Moving on:

In this film Sheen takes on the role of Lucian, the leader of the Lycans (the not technically werewolves, but imo they are werewolves), and I love him. He’s brutal, intelligent, badass, cool, has a traumatic backstory, a suprisingly good sense of style and the best hair in the whole movie. All of that is very babygirl of him.

The Lycans try to find a special human, who is able to unite Vampire and Lycan blood, to make an undefeatable super monster. With that they hope to overthrow the vampires so they don’t have to live in the underground (or Underworld, get it haha) anymore. The Vampires want to stop this of course. Tbh that story is a bit basic isn’t it? I reaaaally did enjoy this movie, I love Monster Movies and stuff, but this plot just doesn’t quite cut it. Like where’s the spice? Didn’t like most of the characters either, the vampires especially are not very interesting to me. All they do is talk until they decide they have talked enough, then they take their Liquid Silver (TM) loaded guns and go on a shooting rampage to kill all the Lycans they can. They’re all so cold and serious. In general this movie takes itself a bit too serious imo. This is a movie about Vampires and Werewolves shooting at each other with actual guns, with magic liquid filled bullets. Loosen up a little.

Don't know if I vibe with the main character and hot vampire girl Selene (Kate Beckinsale) either. That kind of badass heroine was the shits back then, so it makes sense why she is how she is. She's not bad, I'd even say she fits very well in the story, she's just not a type of character that I overly enjoy personally. I did like-hate Viktor (Bill Nighy) tho, he's one of the Vampire elders and very creepy. I could carry the hate I had for him from the prequel right over to this one. Just a shame, that he and Lucian don't even meet in this film...

(Side Note: I have to say I did watch Underworld: Rise of the Lycans before this one, because it’s a prequel and tells Lucian’s Origin Story. That means from the get go I was rooting more for the Lycans even though the main Character is a Vampire. So I might be a bit biased. Then again, I might’ve been anyway)

Back to the parts I enjoyed:

Okay so even though they have a lead Lucian’s headhunter guys failed to get the right human for the double turning (again apparently) so he litterally says; “Must I do everything myself…” and sets out to get the dude they need.

This leads to the coolest scene in the whole movie:

It turns out the human they want to catch is Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman) and Lucian and Selene set out to find him in his appartment building at the same time (What are the odds!?!). Selene finds Michael first and asks him why “they” are “after him” but before answering he manages to flee to the elevator after the vampire is startled by loud thumps on the floor above. Michael goes down in the elevator but guess who’s waiting for him when the door opens.

Fuck yeah. This shot lives in my head rent free

Meanwhile Selene fuckin shot herself a way through the floor levels. (I found this so absurdly over the top I had to laugh the first time I saw it, it's amazing). She arrives at whatever floor the two guys are on and proceeds to blast what appear to be several pounds of silver in Lucians direction. He is hit multiple times but instead of dropping to the floor like a normal person he’s like: "Fuck this bullshit", throws Michael down into the elevator and bites him in the shoulder. Like, hard. Dude’s bleeding so much it’s like the lycan bit part of the muscle off. Selene drags Michael out of the elevator by his feet (he’s not having a good day) and Lucian spits the humans blood into a little bottle (They need the blood to test if he’s the one). Selene and Michael run out of the building, still leaving Lucian enough time to force the bullets that hit him out of his body. Not quickly tho, no no no, he does the whole tear-my-shirt-off, eject-the-bullets-one-by-one-and-then-open-my-eyes-fiercly-routine, like the dramatic bitch he is. It’s gory and so fucking badass with close ups of the bullets coming out of his flesh and lots of blood and everything, I love it.

By now the human/vampire duo finally enter a car to drive away but Lucian quickly catches up. He jumps on the car and slams a blade he keeps conveniently in the sleeve of his jacket (how does that work, please elaborate) into it’s roof several times, piercing Selenes shoulder once. (Now she and Michael can be shoulder wound buddies! I’m sorry, I’ll see myself out.)

Fun Fact: Michael Sheen didn't have to make this jump, but he wanted to try it, so he did it. He's just cool like that.

Selene, breaks hard, Lucian falls off the roof and is apparently so suprised by this, he has to stare into the distance for a few seconds. Selene sets the car back, while Lucian slowly stands up facing the other way. The Vampire steps on the gas, the car accelerates fast, Lucian turns around and baam! Is hit, but he rolls over the vehicle doing whatever kinda fancy sommersault twist that is and lands superhero style, heavy impact on his feet.

Top stuntwork, top editing.

The car rushes away, Lucian turns again has the bloody blade slide back up into his sleeve and stares into the distance… Glorious. Absolutely glorious.

If only there had been more scenes like this in this movie…very good stuff. But unfortunately this makes all the vampire bickering scenes even worse. There is some action in the end, but not much of it involves Lucian unfortunately.

Oh, I have a weird question. While Lucian’s werewolf poison does it’s thing in Michael's body (idk how to word this better, sorry), the human keeps having visions of Lucian’s past and I wonder if all Lycans have that? Like is this a normal part of the process, is it specific to Lucian’s powers, does it depend on who bites you? What is going on here?

What the... if I had a nickel everytime Michael Sheen plays a character who somehow grabs a man to threaten him, while suspiciously looking up and down his face, I'd think about starting a collection, cause... Why do it like this?...Like, again? And I know he’s doing it on fucking purpose, because if he wanted to just intimidatingly stare into the other guys eyes to scare him he would! But he doesn’t. Nooo, he fucking doesn’t, he pulls this shit:

Like, it's not just me right?! I'm watching a show or movie, thinking about nothing bad in particular until boom! I'm hit by gay undertones out of fucking nowhere. Why do this to me? Is this intentional? (Either way, thank you very much, I apprechiate it <3)

Continuing the plot:

Selene resurrects the vampire leader Victor for some reason and shortly after everything goes to shit. The Lycans recapture Michael and Lucian injects himself with some of the chosen one’s blood, I guess in hopes of transforming himself into a hybrid aswell. But before anything can happen he is litterally shot in the back by a vampire he previously had some sort of peace aggreement with (the dude being Kraven, the vamp he threatened in the car). The bullets are filled with liquid silver, so there’s no ejecting possible this time. He holds on for a remarkably long time though and after Michael is shot aswell, Lucian tells Selene to bite the newly-wolf, so the he can finish his chosen one duty and become the ultimate monster. She does that and Lucian is shot again several times, again by Kraven. After that Lucian finally meets his, in my opinion, very unfortunate end. Thanks to Super-Michael Selene kills Viktor, and the movie ends aswell.

Didn’t like this ending. At all. Viktor definetly got what he deserved, but why tf did Lucian have to die? Dude just wanted his people to not be oppressed, what’s so wrong about that? I understand that he accepted his fate as he saw that Selene and Michael would continue his fight to unite the species, he died for the cause bla bla bla...Still I'm allowed to be salty about this.

I don’t know yet what they where going for with the overall story of the franchise, but having seen the prequel I wonder why the authors want Lucian to just be miserable his whole fucking life. Like, he has all the markers of an underdog hero, but the story is just like: “Fuck you in particular for no fucking reason. You didn’t get the girl? Too bad. You don’t even get to live now.” Why even bother at all? The story treats him more like a plotpoint than a character. I dont think that does him justice. They even had a scene where they showed that he is still quite gentle at heart. Explaining to Michael what happened to him and his people in the past, that he just wants this conflict to end so they can live without being persecuted by the vampires. He even disinfects Michael's arm before drawing blood for god's sake! They didn't need to have him do this! Their doctor/scientist guy never did that! #Lucian cares about your health and safety! And then that's the guy they decide to kill off? Come on! The movie is specifically framed so the viewers perspective of him changes from ruthless leader, who would do anything to destroy the vampires, to a caring, gentle guy, who just wants his people to finally live free from the vampire tyranny. He doesn't experience any internal developement, he's still the same poor guy who got fucked over by the vamps but now hundreds of years later. And still he's the one who has to die? They made him a fuckin matyr and I don't know how to feel about it...

The first time I watched this I actually sat there and was like: "He’s gonna do something cool now and be fine, right? Right? He’s done nothing to deserve death in anyway, they won’t just kill him off, right?" Fucking Wrong…Can someone write me a fix-it for this? I’m just sitting here feeling miserable for my little puppy boy.

Speaking of, where tf was actual Lycan-Lucian??? He transformed in a short fizzy flashback scene and that's it, he doesn't even do anything then really. Just shoves Viktor aside and then jumps out the window. Earlier we saw how badass he can be in that one good action scene and then? He is THE Lycan, the ORIGINAL and he doesn’t even get to kill a single person? I would’ve loved to get to see him tear up a few vampires or at least do like, something wild, I dunno. He would've deserved to do so at least...Like you had Michael Sheen to play a f’n Werewolf and then you somehow manage to not make him go absolutely feral?? How tf did you do that? I’m absolutely puzzled. Why make a werewolf-vampire movie, if the werewolves are hardly wolvin’? I would've liked to see more than justa small handfull of them...

Lucian didn’t even get to shoot the UV bullets he had made. Whyyyy? I don’t even like this whole “Vampire and Werewolves have guns now” thing but they established the light bullets and then they weren't shot once! Great, now I’m miserable and mad.

I noticed a few things after watching the prequel Rise of the Lycans again. Putting these two movies side by side, I now see why I struggle with this one a little. There is something about the close combat fighting in ROTL that I personally enjoy that a bit more. Plus there are definetly more transformed Lycans in it. I will get into the whys and whats when the time comes, but sure to say, in my case, watching Underworld after the prequel didn't do the original any favours. (My boyfriend agreed with me on that one, he said ROTL worked better overall)

During ROTL I was literally on the edge of my seat for the second half, so in contrast (especially because I watched them back to back) I was a bit underwhelmed by Underworld unfortunately.

Buuut I like, that Lucian in a essence still has a sword (the blade in his sleeve). I don't know if and how they planned this, but in ROTL he fights with a sword and in this one he has his blade. As I said he rammed it in the car roof and then later he slams it in Kraven's leg before getting shot by him the second time. So he get's to cause at least a little damage with it. I like that consistency, it does fit his character more than shooting guns imo. (even tho I know he would use one if he had to, the movie just didn't give him a chance to actually shoot one at an opponent. That's fine by me tho.)

To end on a positive note, some stuff I enjoyed about this movie: The special effects are great! They used a lot of practical effects, that's something I always love. They made full body werewolf suits with animatronic faces and performers on stilts in them. They managed to mix practical and digital fx so well, most of the time you can't tell how they did it. (Like in Lucian's bullet extraction scene, I saw the bts on how they did that and I still don't understand how it looks so real) All in all a lot of effort went into the effects, makeup, costume and sets and it shows. I would say it holds up pretty well even today, 20 (!) years later.

Jesus this is getting really long, sorry I went full rant on this one. Oopsie...

Anyway I’d say if you haven’t already go and watch this movie, it’s a good fantasy action flick, there are some banger scenes in it. Just don’t make my mistake and hope that the underdog character gets a satisfying ending. If you have thoughts about this movie please let me know!

Did you actually read through all of this? Wow, thank you! You can have a silly little Michael as a treat:

Grrrraaaahhhh!

#Gonna make up an AU where the Vampires eradicated themselves out of stupidness and Lucian is my best bud and most awesome bodyguard ever #he’s mine now and I won’t let him go. He get’s extra treats every day. He’s a good boy. #filmography #michael sheen #lucian underworld #lucian #underworld #Can't wait till I get to Rise of the Lycans tho #but that might take a while #fake blood #tw blood #tw injury

[destroyyaa]

I posted 12,566 times in 2022

22 posts created (0%)

12,544 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mcrbois

@skeleton-orb

@bailey1rox

@celeritaschronicles

@againstmeme

I tagged 1,306 of my posts in 2022

#neon genesis evanquelion - 176 posts

#slipknot - 171 posts

#paging dr catmaidgirlfriend - 85 posts

#ff7 - 77 posts

#mcr - 52 posts

#jackass - 47 posts

#bam - 23 posts

#good stuff - 21 posts

#asks - 18 posts

#the batman - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 120 characters

#more strawbs for you 💖💖 🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

supernatural! unless someone asked that then devil may cry!

Oh I am absolutely doing both lmao ok first, supernatural:

Blorbo (favourite character, character I think about the most):

Dean… I will always be a dean girl ahsjshskakk

Scrunkly (my baby, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

Castiel, absolute angelic himbo

Scrimblo bimblo (underrated/under appreciated fave):

Jo, I’m still so mad she died omg 😭😭😭😭 and Kevin 💖💖💖

Glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week):

ADAM! my boy deserves justice I’m glad he came back for like the final few episodes ;w;

Poor little meow meow (problematic/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave):

Balthazar, Gabriel or just like any of the original angel crew from seasons 4/5

Horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

Sam… I just really don’t like him the later seasons made him so boring :(((

Eeby deeby (character I would send to super hell):

Metatron, I couldn’t stand him from the first moment he was on screen blech also John Winchester, all my homies hate John Winchester

Next up, devil may cry:

Blorbo (favourite character, character I think about the most):

reboot Dante, like actually obsessed with him…. He’s been living rent free in my head since January 2013 💖💖💖💖❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥🖤🖤🖤🧡🧡💚💜💛💚💙💙💜🤎🤎❤️❤️❤️🧡🧡💛💚💜💙💜🤎🤎❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥💝💝💘💘💓💗💞💞💝♥️♥️❣️💕❣️❣️❣️

Scrunkly (my baby, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

Kat and lady and Trish just all 3,,,,, so fucking good

Scrimblo bimblo (underrated/under appreciated fave):

Nico! As much as dmc5 kinda bored me in parts nico was the right level of unhinged love her 💖💖💖

Glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week):

Eva! From both the reboot and original series she just really wanted to protect her kids ;w;

Poor little meow meow (problematic/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave):

Dmc3 specific Vergil, he is my fave lil moody asshole

Horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

Jester….(is his name jester I can’t fuckin remember the clown from dmc3 lol)

See the full post

3 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

#4

I got 5 teeth pulled on Friday and all I've wanted to eat the whole time is fish

3 notes - Posted June 4, 2022

#3

I was tagged by the ever lovely @dontcryonmyporch ! Thank you for the tag

See the full post

3 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#2

Oh the Americans aren't getting today's wordle

7 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Have a Joey

14 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post

[daxieoclock]

hey shay shay, i just started my ace attorney journey and i wanted to hear your thoughts on my fave current characters that i know so far: miles edgeworth and maya fey

heck yeah!!!!!

okay so. edgeworth is great. he's so fucking funny. he's got such a great arc, one of the best redemption stories ever, and he maintains to be a pompous full-of-himself windbag the ENTIRE time and i fucking LOVE it. he's so fucking gay and he's a good big brother when he's not stuck in his own head. also i love the fact that he's a fanboy about the silver samurai, fuckin great. AND HIS STYLE. g-d. that finger waggle and bow live rent free in my head. the man has STYLE.

Maya! i think she's an absolute delight. i hate how the game constantly tries to "jokingly" ship her with Phoenix, but when that isn't happening they have delightful sibling banter. Maya is just generally a very eccentric and excitable person and i love that about her. weird girl rights. also i think she’s soooo cute with Franziska later

[thegheistmistress]

{OOC Rambles - Characters/Groups I'd LOVE to interact with - RP Blog Rules}

{Not even gonna lie, I have a LIST of characters I'd love to interact with, but if not, it's perfectly fine and I wanna rant about them. Here it is, enjoy my list, and the fact it's technically all Batman characters/DC related ones is fun-}

{Also I apologize for a LONG post, but I'm in ramble mood-}

~==Characters I'd LOVE interacting with at some point==~

-Batman Characters-

Riddler, {Due to interacting with a few/one that I'm pretty sure was pretty chill}, Scarecrow {Same deal, honestly also Crane is hella interesting}, Black Mask {I know one I haven't interacted with in a LONG time, love 'em}, Prof. Hugo Strange {Not even just because of my OCs backstory, I love and hate Strange, in a good way}, Two-Face {Cause it'd be very interesting}, Penguin {I blame loving how Gotham had him, but I'll interact with any version honestly}

Poison Ivy {Honestly, I just love Ivy as a character}, Harley {I'd prefer the version of her who isn't with the Joker, cause honestly Harley/Ivy is best couple}, Music Meister {Honest. TO. Gods. I LOVE this character}, Jeramiah Arkham {I blame a OLD RP I did somewhere else, they were pretty cool, even if my character HATED his guts.}

Mad Hatter {Any version is good, honestly, just I stay away from the creepy versions of them, aka where it goes into territory that me no likey/aka really perverted for some reason??}, Red Hood {I love Jason Todd, he's such a shit-}

The Court of Owls {O.M.F.G. I love the group as a whole, it also SCARES me, which is good}, Professor Pyg {Dude scares the shit outta me, honestly, but he fascinates me as a villain.}, Bookworm {I love a lot of the old Batman Villains, he's one of them}, Louie The Liliac {Idk what it is with guys with coloured suits-}

The Flamingo {I recently found out about this guy and I'm like- BRUH}. James Gordon {I mean come on, my character is meant to work at the GCPD, this would be fun and interesting}, Harvey Bullock {Again, pretty sure my character would know him, but it'd be up to whoever is playing him on how he feels about her},

Mr. Freeze {This man has ALL my sympathy, I love how he got his ending in the main Arkham Games, let this man be fuckin' happy-}, Catwoman {She'd be pretty cool to interact with}, Lyle Bolton {I remembered RPing with someone as him and I loved interacting with them}

Any of the Batman honestly, and their allies, they're all wonderful, and I love it when people play multiple characters, heroes, villains, all of them.

-In General DC Characters-

John Constantine {I blame a friend for getting me into him and HONEST to GODS, this right bastard of a man has been living rent free in my head for the last few weeks, all cause he kicked down the door and said he's staying-}, Zatanna {Love her, she's cool}, Any Green Lanterns {Big fan of them}. I'll add more to here as time goes on.

==========

{Whew, that's a list. But, I honestly would love any characters, I mostly do DC characters, BUT depending on the fandom, I will do Marvel though I know NOTHING about it minus some stuff. Any superhero characters, super villain, anti-heros, etc. all game for RP, even OCs in Gotham City in general or the DC Universe as whole}

{Whenever RPs start, just ask for rules since it will be different per session, but in general it's these as the in general interaction rules.}

No killing my character{s} without consent. {That should be obvious, it's no fun if the only character I got is dead}

2. No Mary Sues for the love of all that's holy. No one is perfect and like, I know my limitations since I want to have FUN.

3. No god-modding. {The only information that should be known really is she works at the GCPD, other information like Strange knowing is moreso from old stuff that happened and I enjoyed it, hence fuel for any of those characters to use for RPs}

4. Don't rail road the rps into uncomfortable situations, aka uncomfy irl, and control my character without consent. (Unless its a defined path/part we both have agreed to do).

5. If I say something is uncomfy to me during a RP, like OOC uncomfy, I'd rather it not continue.

6. I know y'all got traumatized characters, she's def one now, but if ya do stuff involving certain ones tag it accordingly/spoiler/allude loosely to it cause I got peeps who I follow that don't need to see that.

7. Any 'spicy' things are automatically fade to black if approved at the earliest point, mostly cause again, got peeps who don't need to see it and I just want a fade to black cause I'd rather continue from an after-point.

8. No sudden shipping, ask me about it first. {I'm perfectly fine with wholesome shipping/Fluff/Angst, that stuff is 100% fine. Cause it's hella nice and fun, and in the past she's actually been shipped with Riddler and Scarecrow, I DO remember that, but she doesn't always have to be shipped, being friends with characters first and chemistry between them is important before leaning to sailing that shipping to them.} {Now, if an old muse shows up and they happen to be one I shipped her with, absolutely you're allow to bring that ship back}

========

{Other than that, there's specific rules for specific RPs that'll pop up, have a lovely day, ya'll.~ If I forgot anything, just let me know.}

#{ Ramblings } #TheGheistMistress #{ ooc } #blog rules #rp rules #{ ooc post } #{ dash commentary } #{Second original post of 2024 ayy-}

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

{hey you guys probably don't know this but i have more ocs outside of the bone gang and the other guys i've mentioned (mythos!tricky the clown) / shown (the amoguses). i do. i hate this!*}

{my mind is full of people that i can't get outta there. none of them pay rent except for the tyrant °^°}

{anyway this post is about the greatknight, a.k.a. the big scary hunk'a metal i showcased like. week or so ago. maybe three. idk man i have had Zero flow for the bone gang recently.}

{more shit under the Read more, as always.}

{okay so the greatknight, right? you guys probably aren't hounding at the fuckin' bit to know anything about him unless you are my closest friend ever - and even then they're banished to the wizard realm rn so i can't talk to them about him-}

{look he lives in a castle. big black one. all dark and menacing, like a good villain should be. (yeah he's a villain, sorry for not telling you sooner.) and as a good villain, he's been alive for god damn centuries - hell, eons, if i count right}

{he once started life as this guy. some dude. a fella, even. he was a kid. grew up to become a hired sword* - a mercenary, you get him to do a thing for ya and you pay him for his troubles. if you didn't pay? you'd never see him again, as he'd not want anything to do with you. wasn't a fan of free labor - still isn't.}

{in his advanced ages, - like, forty, forty-five, - pre-greatknight even managed to marry a pretty lady! a charismatic and kind soul, even for the ages that they come from. she saw something in the pre-greatknight that he didn't see in himself and said 'alright. you. ring.'.}

{they were happy for a time. a long time. about ten or so years, before The Incident.}

{this is where the pre-greatknight started to mold into his current-day form. after The Incident, the pre-greatknight decided that he wanted to become a recluse, go be alone until he dies. unfortunately, while he was out searching for his hermit home, he got lethally ambushed by a buncha heroes who mistook him for a villain due to his appearance at the time.}

{blood spurted from damn well everywhere it could. the pre-greatknight felt his bones crack with every movement. he had an hour left in him, if he played his cards right.}

{however... well, shit works out. as every good villain needs an origin story of sorts, this one involves skeletons finding the pre-greatknight leaning against a tree and accepting his fate. one o' them figured 'ay, we's built this cool suit o' armor. think we can make 'im trade that 'umanity o' his for it?'. the other seven agreed with this rambunctious idea.}

{and wouldn't ya guess it, they patched him up and replaced what blood he lost with some fresh stuff. one of the skeletons popped the question, and the pre-greatknight went for it. 'oh, cool suit of armor? 'n' all i gotta do is stop being human? fuck it.', was probably what he said then if i had to guess.}

{anyway, an eternal thanks from both sides later, and the Greatknight was born. (so now i can stop typing pre-greatknight. yay!)}

{of course, this is not the greatknight good and proper, this is just base-level greatknight, what with his mercenary know-how and human-level knowledge. since he was ambushed by heroes, he figured 'fuck it, we ball' and became a villain. he left his home-village to find an excellent plot of land that would house his future bloodwoods.}

{fast forward like a shitload of eons because i am rapidly losing steam, he built his blood army, cultivated the bloodwoods, and made a name for himself as one of the toughest villains you'd meet. yadda yadda. here he is.}

{/// NO IMAGE ATTACHED ///}

{the greatknight's still around, of course. if you want to rack your head about what his name is, what he looks like under his helmet, what happened to his wife, or even what race he is - theory craft! go for it! god knows i can't fucking figure it out and i'm the lore guy here!}

{anyway. enjoy yaselves. i'm gonna go on a friggin hiatus and reblog more shit. maybe play the division 2 a bit more. right now though (1:46 AM at the time of writin') i gotta tend to my cat so she doesn't wake up the entire house - she's in heat. can't help herself.}

{weeeeeeeee}

[*i want to get their designs onto paper but i can't draw for shit and i am incredibly stubborn about drawing on paper. one of these days i'm just gonna say fuck it and train myself] [**hired gun, w/o the gun]

#the bloodwoods gang

[sweettodo]

eren jaeger x reader.

includes : smut, college au, bad plot, enemies to lovers-ish, hate sex, mention of anal play, swearing.

wc : 3k.

thank you for 700 followers ! and since it was just mr. jaeger’s bday, why not a little fic ?

—

"This is your fault, you shouldn't have let the door shut, the door gets jammed."

"How was I supposed to know?" he replies coolly, you shove past him, frantically grabbing the doorknob and turning it, back and forth. It was no use, the old wooden door was jammed tight into the frame, not even he could get it to budge.

"Are you hard of hearing?"

"Out of all people, I get stuck in a dingy bedroom with you."

—

It wasn't the best. It was border-line decrepit, all sorts of unkempt; but admittedly, it was all you and your friends could afford.

Doing what you could to stay afloat with rent, not to mention your thousands of dollars in college debt, you couldn't necessarily afford to stay on campus; so, you sought out any possible preventative strategy not to go back home, what any adolescent college student would do.

"Well, it's homey... I guess?" Connie announces, cautiously seating a box on the ground.

Beside him, Jean wipes his forehead, "are we getting paid for this?" he questions.

You raise an eyebrow, "Yeah, sure, whatever you want."

"Thanks, boys, that's enough for now, hungry?" Sasha smiles, placing a pizza box on the kitchen counter.

Truly, the house wasn't that bad, though there were some problems like any old home, like the creaky floorboards which dipped downwards in some areas of the house, or the shudders Jean had to nail back into place, or maybe that one non-working bathroom.

Yes, there were some issues, and you knew one thing for sure.

Do not close your bedroom door.

It jammed, and it jammed easily, which you found out the hard way when you had to have your two roomies pry the door open the previous day, hence the rock from outside being positioned to stop the door from closing entirely.

You all sit on the floor in the living room, devouring pizza and drinking as you all conversed and laughed.

While Connie is getting up to pour himself another drink, there's a knock on the door, "oh, finally- thought he was gonna bail on us!"

Connie quickly places his cup down and jogs to the front door, all eyes follow him.

"Eren!"

"What took you all day? Connie and I did practically everything!" Jean complains. Your face heats, fists clenching.

"I did not invite him." You grit, Mikasa glancing at you, concerned.

"Calm down, he's more man-power."

"We've done so much without him, why does he even bother?"

Eren dismisses your complaining, he sits down and grabs a piece of pizza, "it's not like a chose to come here, Mikasa wanted me to."

Your eyes drill into Mikasa's skull, she knew how you felt about him, and she knows how he feels about you. She brushes off your daggers.

"I'm not here to help you," he proceeds, "you wouldn't catch me dead."

"Well, while Jean and I run to the store to get more nails, how 'bout you help the girls?" Connie says, ignoring Eren's last remark.

"I don't need his help, I'm okay on my own."

"Y/n- take his help." Sasha nudges, "free labor."

Your perspective of Eren was nothing short of revulsion, his only conversation piece is how many women he's slept with, how he struts around like he owns the place, he's quite contemptuous, selfish, and arrogant.

He felt similar towards you, often the first one to ruin his day. The way you were so prideful, he too thought you were arrogant, he hated how you made him feel inferior, you were a challenge- you both were complacent and it drove him fucking nuts, as did you.

Standing from the floor, you brush your hands on your shorts, "I'll be in my room," you mutter, trudging up the stairs.

"You outta' help her, Eren," Sasha says, watching you walk up the stairs, "please."

The brunette shakes his head, "hell fuckin' no."

"Eren," Mikasa speaks lowly, her tone compelling, he rolls his eyes.

Picking up the screwdriver from the floor, pushing your hair out of your face, you get down on your knees and lift the bottom half of your bed frame, the little screw in your empty hand, you groan.

"Need a little help?"

Your head snaps around, "get out of my room, now."

"I thought you were this rough-tough- independent woman?" he ridicules.

You ignore him, "can't even put a bed together, how pitiful."

He steps closer, leaning against the door in your room, which was propped against the wall with the rock, his arms crossed tightly against his chest, "get out of the way."

"No. Eren I got it."

"Just get up and let me do it."

"I'll ask Mikasa, she's stronger than you anyways."

"Give me a break, how about you swallow your pride for once, you can't do everything, y/n."

He scoffs, attempting to absorb the insult, "plus, she isn't here, she and Sasha left." Your eyes widen, feeling much more uncomfortable than moments before. You gently place the bed frame on the floor in front of your knees, sighing, "let me do it-"

He slowly stands from his position, his foot knocking the rock out of place as he leans off the door following behind him, as he steps further into the room, you leap towards the shutting door.

"Eren! The fucking door!" you cry, seeing it shut mere inches from your grasp, "it doesn't open from the inside!" you shout, scrambling to your feet, Eren quickly turns, his hands landing against the old wood as he tries to pull it open, but it was too late.

"This is your fault, you shouldn't have let the door shut, the door gets jammed."

"How was I supposed to know?" he replies coolly, you shove past him, frantically grabbing the doorknob and turning it, back and forth. It was no use, the old wooden door was jammed tight into the frame, not even he could get it to budge.

"Are you hard of hearing?"

"Out of all people, I get stuck in a dingy bedroom with you."

"Spare me your kind words, Jaeger." You grumble.

"Where's your phone? Call Mikasa or Jean." Eren pats his pockets, in search of his phone.

"It's downstairs- my phone."

"So is mine," he sighs, sticking his hands in his pockets, "aren't I lucky; stuck in a room with a prissy bitch."

"Do you like making me mad, Eren? Because I'm not one of your hoes you can insult and get away with it." Gritting your teeth, he smiles cheekily, God you can't fucking stand him.

He remains silent, while tensions rise within the walls of your room, avoiding his eyes, you uncomfortably shuffle your feet, looking at the wood flooring beneath you, Eren is beside you, pacing, "I'll break the fucking thing down."

"You better not. Or else you're paying for it."

"I'm not paying for shit," he contends, "it's your shitty house, your shitty door, my shitty luck.”

You face him, he rolls his eyes, "if you break my door, Jaeger..." you threaten, sticking your index finger in his face.

"What are you gonna do? Y/n?"

You cross your arms, he shrugs and turns around on his heels, grabbing the doorknob and trying to pry the door open, he steps back and cracks his knuckles, "Eren, don't you fucking do it." You grab him by the back of his shirt, he stops.

"What are you gonna do?" he leans down to meet your height, tilting his head, "gonna punish me?"

You gulp, "how about I fix your bed while I'm here, since I'm so nice."

"No." You spit, "I'll do it, you stay in the corner and shut up." Pushing him away, but he stands still, a smug look still on his face.

"Why be so difficult?"

"Why do you always need the last word?" anger seething within you, little pieces of hair falling from the loose bun the hair tie he had holding back his bangs, you looked in his eyes, just waiting for him to speak.

"Do you like being stubborn?" Eren steps closer, as a result, you're stepping backward, and soon he figuratively has you backed into a corner.

Eren returns the glare, your heart thumping out of your chest, throat dry and closing by every second he kept his brutal eyes on yours.

You swallow, "always trying to make me mad, right?"

"Not everything is about you, Jaeger."

"No, but it is about you though," he hums, "don't you want me to shut up? How about you try to shut me up- since it's always about you."

You hadn't picked up on the sudden rush of adrenaline that pumped into your veins, which made you - quite literally - want to crumble, but you remained dominant. His rather vibrant eyes were tough ones to overpower, you guys just stood there, trying to wield your dominance over the other.

You two were power-hungry.

Eren on the other hand was trying like hell to prevail calm, you made him so mad, made him fucking furious, he contemplated leaping out of the second-story window, though one thing was keeping his feet grounded, looming over you.

And that was defeating you.

"I reckon you have more of a problem with me rather than the other way ‘round, you don't like it when I argue with you, Eren?" you teasingly pout, snickering in his face.

His eyes are low, seductive even, you had never seen him in this light, he looked restless, but he was undoubtedly annoyed.

It's his turn to smile, his fingers snaking around your wrist, pulling you down onto the mattress which lacked pillows, sheets, and a headboard.

You comply, his fingers anchoring into the back of your hair, pulling your head back, your neck training, “you gonna shut me up? Y/n?" you're speechless, seems as if he beat you to this little game.

“You piss me off. Jaeger.” You sneer, he leans down, face inches from your own.

“Yeah? I make you mad?” he purrs, dipping his head down towards your neck and pressing his lips against your ear lobe, chills erupt on every inch of your body.

You're left speechless once again, breathless as his hand slips down the curve of your waist, up to your thigh, stopping at your knee, “yeah... You do.”

He uses your knee to push your legs onto the bed, his hand guiding you, he swiftly gets on the bed, back against the wall; placing his palm on the back of your neck, pulling you between his legs, trapping you as he's kissing you firmly.

You're taken aback, but return the kiss, his soft lips colliding with yours, he tasted amazing, but you wouldn't admit that to him.

As if the gates had finally bursted open, your motions are picking up speed, he’s fiercely pulling at your shorts and without a second thought, you're rushing to tug his shirt over his head, giving hardly a second for air before you're kissing the man again.

What’s gotten into you?

You adjust so he can pull your shorts over your knees, flinging them across the room, your hands wandering up and down his chest, feeling his toned stomach beneath your fingers.

His big hands are grabbing you by the back of the thighs, pulling you closer to him so he can easily pin your back to the bed. With a huff, he kisses further down your neck, his lips tickling your skin as he begins to lift the thin shirt towards your chest, kissing down your stomach.

Eren can't take it anymore, all that was going through his mind was how soft your skin was, how good you smelled, the way he felt you shiver under him when he kisses the sweet spot on the side of your neck.

He uses the pad of his thumb to press against your damp panties, you gasp, his thumb locating your clit instantly and applying pressure on the swollen nub.

“Stop teasing, Eren.”

He smirks, slowly applying little circles over the thin undergarments, pinning one thigh down at the same time, he watches your face scrunch.

He leans down between your legs to kiss you again, pulling down his jeans in the meantime, you feel his erection through his boxers, pressing against the crevis between your thigh and cunt.

He sits up, yanking down your panties along with his boxers, your eyes nearly fall out of your head, catching a glimpse at the sheer size of the man.

He spits in his palm, messily stroking his cock a few times before making sure your leg is secure on his shoulder.

No words needed to be spoken- no conversation could be made at the fact things were moving so fast, similar to hungry animals, like a switch flipped and here you two were, soaking for a man you despised.

His tip slips up and down towards your entrance, repeatedly teasing you against your folds with his throbbing tip.

Finally, he gradually slips past your entrance, his head rolls back, body virtually falling weak as he soaks in those spongy tight walls, sucking him in immediately, “fuck,” is all he can sputter out, taking his time to seep deeper inside you.

He stretches you out, Eren’s veins which were wrapped around the base of his cock pressing against your electrified nerves, your back arching, quietly moaning as he eventually stuffs you with as much as you can take.

“You hate me? This pussy sure doesn't.” he grunts, retreating before rocking his hips back against you.

Your leg drops from his shoulder, “on your hands and knees, now.” he demands- not having to tell you twice, he’s quickly grabbing you, and with ease, you're now on all fours, exposed from the waist down, Eren’s hands spreading you open, pulling your ass apart so he can get the perfect view of his cock fucking into you.

This gives Eren the chance to now fit his whole length into you, crying out into the bare mattress, feeling his tip stab against the entrance of your cervix.

He pulls out, one hand steadying your waist and the other holding your ass, “such a tight cunt, can't even fit it all.”

Eren splits you open, thrusting into you while simultaneously pulling your hips against his, skin slapping, the both of you moaning as you're already releasing cream all over his cock.

You feel his thumb caress the skin around the valley of your ass, “such a pretty little hole, want me to fill this one too?”

With no hesitation, you're crying out a sloppy mantra of ‘yes’, and he follows your decrees, his thumb slipping past your unoccupied hole.

You instantly clench around him, the pressure of another hole being stuffed.

Nearing another orgasm, he ruts his hips against your thighs, seeing white, your stomach tightens, body attempting to escape the harsh pressure, unraveling from the arch you were trying hard to maintain.

“Again?” Eren’s amazed at the sight, your cum seeping from your pussy, soaking the little patch of curly hair above his cock, down your thighs and onto the mattress, your leg quivering as he spares you no mercy, shamelessly fucking into you.

He holds your hips steady, “Eren, s’ big, I can't-”

“Can't what? Can't take it? I thought you were such a strong girl?” he taunts, cruelly rutting into you.

You're drooling, tears falling down your face as he fucks you senseless, “fuck you,” you mewl, he slows, but still keeps up his strong and stabbing thrusts, your body still jolting every time his cock hits your cervix.

“Fuck-in’ hate you, hate you s’much.”

“Yeah? You hate me? But look at you,” he hooks his thumb deeper into your asshole, “you’re crying for more.” You wail, gasping for air, you craved more, the way his hips knocked against your ass, sending shock waves throughout your body.

“I think I love this sloppy little pussy, too bad you're such a bitch.”

He grabs you by the roots of your hair, fingers hooking and balling your hair into a tight fist, pulling you upwards, gasping for air, “Eren-” you moan, balls slapping against your slick folds and raw clit.

His thrust becomes more sporadic, nearing climax, he savors your warm and squeezing walls before you hear him hiss loudly, his head falling back, eyes screwing shut as he's dumping a load into your abused and stretched little pussy.

“Such a good cunt for an annoying bitch.” He mumbles.

Eren rocks his hips into you, making sure your cunt is sucking and every ounce of his seed is emptied from his cock.

He swears, softening cock slipping out of you as he quickly drops down onto the bed, wiping the sweat from his forehead, you're barely able to flip over, holes still twitching.

All you two can manage to do is catch your breath, the air knocked out of both of you, his seed mixed with your own still oozing out of your cunt, and onto the bed.

He sits up, chest still quickly rising and falling before he's moving off the bed and throwing his clothes on, throwing you your shorts, “get up so it looks like we did something productive,” your head in the clouds, you try to put your shorts on, he sees you and mutters indecent things under his breath, “what? Did I fuck you stupid or something?” you stand off the bed, and he quickly lifts the bed frame off the floor and pops the long screw in.

You peek out the window, the sky a dark milky blue- and to your surprise, there are your friends’ cars.

“Connie, you owe me twenty bucks!”

“Eren, I think they're already home.” You mumble, pulling open the window to get some air before walking back towards the door of your bedroom, pounding on the door, “open the door for me please!”

You give it a few moments, standing there in a daze- legs trembling.

You try to maintain the steadiness of your legs before someone struggles to push the door in, essentially un-jamming the door. Jean is there, with a clown-like grin on his face, Eren looks at him and groans, shaking his head before Jean begins to speak.

#eren jeager smut #eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren x reader #eren x y/n #attack on titan #aot #smut #lemon #attack on titan smut #aot eren #eren attack on titan #enemies to lovers

[mysteriosuke]

*knock knock* Kirby characters?

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

definitely zero two! she lives rent free in my head and that’s okay

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

marx! he’s so shaped! i love him! he’s wonderful and oh so scrunkly

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

magolor, purely because i 100% believe he is way too overhated and misunderstood. no i will not change my mind on that, ever.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

the fuckin BATAMON the damn sgrungle fakes they’re terrifying i love each and every one of them

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

hyness. yes he’s problematic but have you considered i’d totally flick his nose and give him a BIG kiss i love him i love him i love him i lo

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

meta knight :)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

francisca! stupid overrated mage she’s sadistic and freezes people alive and genuinely triggers me i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate h

#p.s. i don’t give a shit if these opinions offend anyone :) #kirby #ask game #hyness #meta knight #zero two kirby #02 kirby #magolor #marx #batamon #WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE FRANCISCA FUCK FRANCISCA #cw: villain francisca #cw: masamune’s character interpretations

[shorkbrian]

no cap katsuki nonconing yn in a alleyway calling her stupid for wandering the streets alone b4 spitting in her face n burying his face n ha chest and being all slobbery and gross, getting off from her thighs and neglecting her cunt just cuz he thinks shes enjoying it even doe she aint- nasty bakugou lives in my head rent free i tell ya.

All tea all facts bro 

(Warnings - NSFW, noncon, Dubcon, dirty talk, thigh fucking, degradation, sex worker mention)

He’d just shove you up against the wall, press his chest against yours while he’s staring you down, absolutely ripping into you about what a stupid little whore.

“You’re a desperate bitch, aren’t you? You gotta be, wandering around, dressed  in that shit.” He’s talking about your skirt. It’s modest, knee-length and warm, not at all scandalous, nor perverted, but Katsuki is, so he sees it that way.

“Dumb slut, I bet you wanted someone to do this to you, were looking for someone to feel you up in a dark alleyway. God, I hate little whores like you, piss me the fuck off.”

While he’s spewing hatred, his hands are caressing your trembling body, grabbing at the curve of your waist, digging into the fat of your ass, dipping down to squeeze at the outside of your thigh, teasing. You’re too afraid and shocked to say anything, to do anything but stand there and let it happen.

Within a second, he has his hand up your shirt, quickly shucking it up over your chest to reveal your bra, barking out a laugh. 

“What the fuck is that? What the hell, you can’t even put in any effort? Damn.” Demeaning you for your plain bra, he was making you feel self conscious and embarrassed, face heating up as you shuffled further into the wall, lips pressed tightly together as you withered in discomfort.

Katsuki laughed again, before reaching around to unclip it, essentially bear hugging you in the process. You’re struggling to breathe, arms trapped by your sides as he fiddles with the clasp of your bra for a second, before succeeding in undoing it.

The man quickly rips the fabric away from your body, leaving your chest bare, shirt pushed up by your armpits. 

Only then does your brain finally process what’s happening, and you whimper, hands rising to cover your chest, body trying to turn away, shrinking down and in on yourself.

“Stop, sir, this is-this is bad, I’ll call the police, please stop!”  But Katsuki just laughs again, grabbing your biceps and wrenching your arms away from your body, using his grip to haul you upright again. Like this, he was free to leer at your body all he wanted, a wide grin stretched across his face. 

“Oh fuck off, you know that’s a lie. This isn’t bad, you’re asking for it, wandering around this late. What are you, a  damn prostitute looking for a customer?”

That stung, but before you could retort, the man was hunching over, nuzzling his face against your chest, nose cold against your warm skin.

He groaned, pushing you further back into the wall as he began mouthing at your skin, leaving slobbery kisses all over your breasts, occasionally stopping to bite at a nipple.

You squeaked, afraid to make too much noise. The entrance to the alley was right there, what if someone walked by and saw you being molested? What would they think of you? You wanted to cry, but couldn’t find the tears.

Katsuki groaned again, and you shuddered when he straightened, pressing his lower half flush against your front. “Feel that?” ‘that’ was his prick, digging into your hip. “All for you. You want it, don’tcha? Damn prissy slut, bet you’re soaked under that skirt, acting like you aren’t fucking loving this, aren’t getting off on me suckin’ on your tits.”

And then you were being shoved to the ground, turned onto your back. 

The concrete was almost cold, slightly chilly against your back, shirt still bunched uncomfortably underneath your armpits, digging into your shoulder blades where they rested against the concrete. 

Katsuki was moving fast above you, hiking your skirt up, snickering at your plain panties (it’s not like you had planned on getting assaulted today, forgive you). He pushed your knees towards your chest, back protesting as it was stretched uncomfortably.

“Ow, oh, please wait! Sir, don’t do this, please.” You whined, hands curling into fists. You wanted to hold onto something, to ground yourself as you were manhandled, but there was nothing nearby.

“You like that rape role-play shit? Fucking creep, dirty little pervert. I can be rougher if you want, break a few bones.” Katsuki offered, reaching for one of your hands.

“No!” Snatching it towards your chest, your voice high and shrill, Katsuki just shrugged, before undulating his cheeks as he gathered the saliva in his mouth. His next movement was to spit on you, on your cheek, warm saliva suprising you as you registered the sound of him spitting.

He was disgusting.

Knees pushed to your chest, the man wiped the spit off your face, mumbling about your “goddamn makeup” as he did so, before rubbing his spit on the inside of your thighs, right above your knees.

And then he was above you, practically kneeling as he straddled you, pressing his dick between the tight squeeze of your thighs.

When had he gotten his dick out?

You could feel his foreskin, feel the tapered head, the thick base, his wrinkly balls as they touched the back of your thighs. A shiver passed through you at the barrage of sensations, and you struggled to keep yourself calm. Katsuki mistook it as a shiver of something else.

“Y’know, I bet anyone walking by would be able to see your stupid panties.” He was right - with your knees pressed to your chest, Katsuki sliding his cock through your thighs as he kneeled over you, practically straddling your chest, made sure that your panties were on full display.

That fear invaded your mind, filling your senses until it was all you could think about.

Not the man grunting as he messily speared through your thighs, uttering occasional swears.

Not the roughness of the concrete against your back, the uncomfortable stretch of your hips as Katsuki pressed your legs together, keeping them glued to your body at the same time.

“You’re soaked, I just know it. Want me to touch your dirty cunt? Your little fuck-hole? I think you don’t deserve that, you’re enjoying this too damn much already.” The man spat cruelly, moving against your more fevershiyl as he worked himself up. 

You could feel the tip of his cock prod your chest on each thrust, peeking out from between your thighs, and it made you sick. 

Just close your eyes, and he’d finish soon.

When the man did finish, it was all over the back of your thighs, stripping his cock with one hand, eyes closed in bliss as he moaned around his release.

You considered it a blessing that he didn't touch you further after that, just began tucking himself away.

“Damn, that wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be. You aren’t half-bad at this, although you could work on your fucking attitude, it was like pounding into a limp fish. Least you could do is try to keep your thighs together.” Katsuki snickered, hovering over you as he zipped up his jeans. “If you wanted me to stay longer, you just need to say so.” His face soured a second later. “But don’t fuckin’ try to hold me back next time, make me fuckin’ cum, got it?”

And then he was gone, leaving you to deal with the mess of cum striping the back of your thighs.

Lovely

#katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki #tw dubcon #tw dubious consent #tw degradation #dark katsuki #dark Katsuki bakugou #yandere katsuki

[veliseraptor]

Hi lise....How are you? If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite “villains” (or antagonists) in all of MXTX novels? (Whether you want to do a ranking or just write out in no particular order)...Sorry if you've answered this question before....

I am stressed, depressed, and holding off a mental breakdown but keeping it together so far! and distractions in the form of thinking about my villain beloveds help.

asdlskjadf oh man. so it’s not quite “all of them” but it is... “several.” no ranking here because rankings are hard, so here’s in no particular order my personal greatest antagonist hits from mxtx’s novels

(this post will contain hella spoilers just to let you guys know)

1. He Xuan. I just finished (well, for a given value of ‘just’) rereading the Black Water Arc again and ahhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I love He Xuan so much, I love everything he chooses to do, I love the fact that he has a choice between revenge and a friendship he does seem to value and ultimately still chooses revenge, I love his cold anger, I love the part where he just fuckin...rips Shi Wudu’s head off with his bare hands, RIP Water Master but that was pretty badass.

But yeah, I think what most draws me toward him is that...pull, where you can see him trying to give Shi Qingxuan an out, and he’s not going to abandon his revenge, would never, but he will bend it just a little, or he would...but ultimately Shi Qingxuan fails the tests he gives them and that’s it.

Also “you called the wrong name” will probably live in my head, as they say, rent free, with lines from literature that stick with me.

2. Xue Yang. Obviously. I feel like...I don’t even know how to talk about him here without repeating myself. Love at first sight and I never looked back. It only got worse. There’s a whole lot of buttons that he’s hitting all at once and...god, idk, okay, I’ve written more fics about him in a year and change than I wrote in the entire Silmarillion fandom between 2009-2021, and some of those are long. It’s a lot.

3. Jin Guangyao. I feel like I don’t always talk enough about Jin Guangyao and that’s mostly because I feel like other people have said the things I’d want to say but better already? But...god, love him. He’s such a psychological mess of paranoia and anxiety and insecurity, he’s so up in his head, constantly thinking about three or four things at once, is he enjoying the experience? Not necessarily.

I’m always going to be a sucker for a clever schemer and Jin Guangyao’s got that going for him, and I also really enjoy a good juxtaposition between seeming fragility and insane endurance/ability to keep going well past the point it’s reasonable. His drive to escape his origins, to prove himself, to gain an approval that’s always going to be just out of reach...I’m love him. Very very much.

4. Shen Jiu. Does he count, considering he’s mostly SIr Not Appearing In This Novel with the exception of the extras? I’m counting him. It feels very silly and also very me that my favorite SVSSS character is this guy because like...he’s not even technically present in the novel proper as an actual person? Even Xiao Xingchen at least gets a corpse cameo.

Whatever, I’m counting him anyway. I was going to be like “I know he’s awful” but come on, this is a list of antagonists and I love characters dealing horribly with their trauma and also passing their trauma on to others in the worst way, and also characters who come to bad ends, and also characters who will see people thinking the worst of them and go “fine! sure! I will do nothing to correct these assumptions at all because fuck it, if people are going to hate me might as well go all in.”

5. Jun Wu. I know, I know! I feel like this is maybe the most unpopular of mine actually but I have a thing for...antagonists who are disappointed idealists who are now trying to ruin everyone else’s day/life to prove their point while at the same time (this is a read, but I think I can support it) wanting to be proved wrong, but also absolutely certain that they won’t. And his interactions with Xie Lian in book four as Bai Wuxiang are...well. they sure do hit a nail shaped like my character dynamic kinks right on the head

and I’ll talk about this more in my favorite TGCF moments answer that’s forthcoming (I’m just finishing the book first so I don’t forget anything!), but I also find the conclusion to his arc very satisfying in ways that I very seldom get in media.

honorable mentions: Ling Wen (honorable mention only because I don’t know that she actually counts, she’s only an ‘antagonist’ for a hot minute and she doesn’t actually do anything to our protagonists to seriously hurt them), Shen Qingqiu’s internalized homophobia (honestly probably the biggest antagonist of SVSSS, lbr), Xie Lian on a rampage, He Xuan’s skeleton fish.

I do also have a soft spot for Bingge even though we only see him for a hot minute. he’s just awful and a disaster and I love that for him.

are we counting Jiang Cheng as an antagonist? because I don’t but if we were he’d be on this list too.

honestly the only antagonists I actively dislike (as opposed to just find relatively uninteresting) are Jin Guangshan and Jin Zixun.

#thanad zid #conversating #the sad queer cultivators show #dysfunctional gods and ghost kinks #i need a custom svsss tag #i'm not going to tag this as meta because it's just me like. fucking gushing #but i will tag it as #top five meme #so i can find it again and since i did end up with five

[maddiewritesstucky]

IT’S SOMEONE’S BIRTHDAY!! 😆💕🎉

How do I possibly sum up how loved you are, how special you are, how deeply appreciated and important you are @howdoyousleep3?!

I thought long and hard about what I could give you, what I could do for you from such a great distance, and I could think of no greater show of love than to take the very two things I said I would never do, and use them both to create something extra special smutty for you 💜

😘 So K, angel, light of my life...I give to you the most esoteric thing I will ever write, my first (and likely only) reader insert, definitely my only RPF, I give you...

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Pairing: female reader x douchebag CEvans character we coined ‘Jersey Boy’

Tags: Public sex, fingering, mild degradation / humiliation, dirty talk, hypothetical girl-on-girl, gratuitous use of the word ‘fuck’, not a condom in sight

Based on a dangerously horny WhatsApp conversation that will live rent free in the spank bank for the rest of eternity. Beta credits to @buckyandthejets - thank you for holding my hand on this one 😂

***

“Your eyes better be open,” he rumbles, tequila-slick lips hard up against your ear. 

You’d laugh if you had the breath to do it, if you weren’t strung bow-taut trying to stay off the bouncer’s radar. He’s kicked the two of you out before, more times than you’d admit to, and he’ll do it again if you give him reason enough. 

You’re not going to give him a reason, tonight. 

You’re gonna sit there, tucked away in your favorite corner booth with your mouth shut and your eyes on the stage; perched in your boyfriend’s lap with your back against his chest and his hand stuffed between your thighs, and you’re not gonna make a fucking scene about the fact that he’s knuckle deep in your pussy. 

“She’s good, tonight,” he sighs, all false nonchalance like he doesn’t know how that particular set of curves up on the pole always makes your blood run a little hotter.

‘Roxi’ she goes by on stage, but you can call me whatever the hell you want, when she’s in your lap with her tits in your face.

“She’s always good.”

You stare, transfixed, at the sensuous shift of her body; that sinful rhythm that rolls through her limbs and makes every movement seem like something you should have no right to see.

He hums a noncommittal sound behind you, stroking languid at that spot inside that’d get you in trouble if he went any harder with it. That’s why you know he won’t - he’s not about to risk getting kicked out when it’s so much sweeter to send you spiraling like this, subtle and silent.

“You should learn to dance for me,” his breath falls warm over your shoulder, his lips nestled into the crook of your neck, “put on a show, get me all worked up…”

“You don’t need any fuckin’ help getting worked up.”

The sharp flick he deals to the peaked bud of your nipple makes your breath hitch, even through the barrier of your shirt. 

His hand is working slow and lazy between your thighs, but you know his body is winding tighter for this, too. It’s there in the vague shudder at the top of his inhales, the twitch of his cock inside his jeans. 

“Bet she could teach you some moves,” he hums, squeezing at your hip and your waist; tracing the curve of your rib cage. 

She could teach me a lot of things, you think, swallowing hard for the endless stretch of her legs and the curve of her ass.

You lift your eyes to her face and she’s looking right at you, her gaze flickering familiarity before it drops to the hand buried under your skirt. She smirks so goddamn knowing, and it’s your saving grace that the lighting is already washing your skin in shades of red. 

“Aw, look at that,” that voice at your back coos, “is the pretty stripper smilin’ at you?”

“Shut up.” 

It comes out breathy and insipid, and you feel more than hear the soft, mocking laugh that rumbles through his chest. 

He tucks his chin over your shoulder, presses his smirk right against your cheek as his hand snakes up under your shirt.

“What’s the matter, baby? Don’t you wanna be her friend? I bet you girls would get on real well…”

Your skin flushes hot under his lips, under the maddeningly chaste kisses he’s leaving there like he’s not fingerfucking you in public. 

“That’d be nice, huh? The two of you, gettin’ close...maybe she’d let you touch that body you can’t stop staring at.” 

“Jesus...”

He’s kneading slow and hard at your tits, drawing mindless circles around your nipples and flexing his thighs beneath you, just enough to keep you a little off balance. 

You can almost taste blood for how deep your teeth are sunk into your bottom lip.

“You think about it, don’t you?” he whispers, “You wonder what it’d be like, getting your hands on those curves, maybe getting your lips on hers...That what you want, baby? You wanna give her a little kiss?” 

...Fuck, but you hate how he does this. 

You do wanna kiss her. 

You wanna get on your knees and swap spit with her around the dick currently pressed up against your ass, but you’re not about to tell him that.

“Maybe...” 

“‘Maybe’?” He slips his fingers out of you just to push them back in slower, shallow this time because he’s an asshole. “‘Maybe’ don’t drip like this, sweetheart.”

“Fuck,” you press back against his chest; tip your head back against his shoulder as you suck a shuddering breath in.  

“Yeah, I know this ain’t for me,” he draws his fingertips up through the warm, wet center of you; sweeping figure-8 strokes that kiss your clit and dip shallow inside you. “Maybe I should call her over here, tell her she went and got my girl’s pussy all wet...maybe she’d help you out with it.”

You almost crack, then; barely catching the hoarse cry that’s shocked out of you as he smacks those soaked, taunting fingers down in a tight swat against your pussy. 

Your whole body lights up for it, your cheeks flooding hot and your pulse throbbing to rival the bass from the speakers. 

“Jesus, you can’t just—”

“I can’t what?” His other hand slips up to curl around the front of your throat, gripping you tight under the line of your jaw. “What can’t I do with this pussy, huh?” 

God, your body’s screaming. 

There’s nothing he couldn’t do, nothing you wouldn’t want, and you both know it. Fuck, does he know it...

You cuss under your breath, splitting your thighs wider over the spread of his lap, and he huffs a laugh that catches in your hair. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Fuck you.” 

You roll your hips forward against that broad palm cupped between your legs and the grip on your neck tightens; his face tucking in close against yours as he growls right up against your cheekbone.

“Watch your fuckin’ mouth.”

He’s so hard beneath you, nudging his hips up to rub the denim-clad line of his cock against your ass; toying with your clit and pulsing his fingers inside you. 

The cigarette he had before you came out tonight is still clinging to him, making the amber notes in his cologne sing sweeter, and every time you squirm you can feel the chain around his neck rubbing cool against the back of your shoulder.  

“You gonna fuck me?” 

You already know the answer, just like you know you might not even make it home before he’s getting it in you. You might not make it to his car, and you’re nowhere near as ashamed as you should be that it wouldn’t be the first time he’s fucked you in the alley behind the club.

...It might be the first time for something else though, you realize, as he squeezes your hip and tells you to lift up.

“Here?” you hiss, “Are you fucking kidding me?” 

Your eyes frantically sweep the room, your entire body flooding hot as he pulls his hand from between your legs and slips it under you to get at his zipper.

“What, you wanna wait ‘til we get home?” he scoffs like the notion is ridiculous. “You want some fuckin’ rose petals, some jazz playin’? Should we do it missionary?!” 

“God, you’re an asshole.”

You try to put some venom in it, but it’s lost to the fact that you’re pulling your panties to the side; trapping a gasp behind your teeth as the blunt head of him nudges up against you. 

“And you’re about to get fucked in a strip club,” he hums, “so what does that make you?” 

Another place, another time, and you might bite back. You might get up and walk away entirely, just to hear him hit you with that ‘aww come on, baby, don’t be like that!’ 

But right now you’re here, and his hands are on your hips and his cock is pushing into you bare, and you know exactly what this makes you.

Your fingers dig an iron grip into his thighs as you sink down on the length of him, grinding against the heavy stretch of him inside you. It takes your breath away every goddamn time, makes you spread your legs wider like it’ll make a lick of difference to the way he fills you up; immense and overwhelming and so fucking good. 

“Oh my god,” you whimper, circling your hips as you settle your whole weight down onto him, “oh my god.”

“Hey, you take this quiet,” he chides, his arm wrapping tight around your waist. “You start makin’ a scene, I’m gonna pull out.”  

Fuck, if he pulls out you’re gonna put him in his grave. 

There’s no move you can make here that doesn’t send you reeling, no shift of your body or swivel of your hips that doesn’t wind you further up the spiral; not with the way he takes up every last inch of space inside you and then some. 

His voice is a constant rumbling bass in your ear, and it doesn’t fucking help, those coos of that’s it, baby, and find the spot, and make it feel good. 

It doesn’t help when he starts rocking up into you in tiny pulses, when he uses his grip on your hips to angle you just perfect so his cock strokes you right fucking there.

It definitely doesn’t help when his fingertips find their way back between your thighs to drum a soft staccato against your clit.   

“Gonna come?” He curls his body closer around you as you start to shake; as your breath leaves you on a reedy exhale.

You can only nod, screwing your eyes shut and sinking into that building surge of heat. You are gonna come, right here in this room full of people. And he’s never gonna fucking let you forget it. 

“Open,” he commands, low and rough.  

You’re about to open your eyes, but then his fingers are pressing at your lips, and you’re swallowing a soft groan as he stuffs them into your mouth.

“Not a fuckin’ sound, you hear me?” 

You barely have time to nod before he’s jacking his hips up into you faster, rubbing tight circles around your clit to send you careening over the edge.  

You can’t moan, so you suck. Your eyes water, and your thighs twitch, and you shake apart right there in his lap, in front of god and everyone. 

Silently. 

Like the good girl you are.

“Jesus,” he buries his face in the crook of your neck, gasping a weak strangled sound as your body clenches around him. 

His muscles are drawing taut, his thighs and his  stomach tensing. He’s breathing shaky and shallow, and you want him to break; want him to lose it so you can call him a slut later and goad him into giving it to you all over again. 

So you let yourself go boneless in his lap. You tip your head back against his shoulder, and you make damn sure he hears it when you choke out “do it, Daddy,” around the gag of his fingers.

And he does. He comes inside you with his teeth sunk into the flesh of your shoulder and his hand white-knuckling a grip on your thigh. 

It’s objectively disgusting, the half-hour drive home you’re gonna be facing with his come dripping out of you. But you’d put good money on him pulling you into the backseat and licking you clean before you even start the car, so you can’t bring yourself to give a shit.

“Christ,” he shakes his head softly, slipping his fingers from your mouth and wiping them on your skirt. “Can’t fuckin’ take you anywhere.” 

“You could take me home.”

There’s too many clothes on you, too many eyes and ears around you for the way your skin’s buzzing; the way you’ve barely scratched the surface of that rippling need inside you. 

He hums at your back, pulling out of you slow and tugging your ruined panties back into place. “Just you? Or you wanna invite your friend?” 

You can hear the smirk in his voice and you know he’s fucking with you when he cocks his head toward the stage. But you chance a look up there and she winks right at you, and it’s not the worst idea he’s ever had.

“Two girls at once, huh?” You arch a brow at him, incredulous. “You think you got the stamina for that?” 

He holds your stare as he downs the rest of his drink, sweeps his tongue out over his slick bottom lip. 

“Well her shift ends in ten minutes,” he rumbles, “...why don’t we find out?”

***

And there you have it, the beginning and end of my het-writing career. Goodnight and good luck everyone, and the happiest of birthdays to you my beautiful soul sister 😘

#i love her a normal amount #my soul sister #if this doesn’t show my affection #I don’t know what will

[benrahman]

end of year dyke conclusions about the england nt

pickford: i love him, i hate him, i want to bite him, he just drives me fucking insane but he gets props for bunda and kebab pizza propaganda

sam johnstone: oh man probably in my top three butch lesbians in this team, i love his buzzcut and his cheeky lil grin hes got that big soft meat man energy

kyle walker: right i know everyone thinks he's a twat and HE IS and ill never forgive him for tattooing his own name on his hand but. funny man run fast

john stones: miserable little gay best friend. wet and pathetic. adore him. paid £2 for his match attax card and it werent even shiny.

harry maguire: idc man

luke shaw: another butch buzzcut kween!! plus he has the same accent as me so kind of a winner

ben chilwell: i said this like a month ago he is a posh horse girl's dream gay best friend and im a #hater.

tyrone mings: oh you KNOW how i feel about this man. she is my dream butch gf i want her to throw me around like a ragdoll IDC

trent alexander-arnold: he's my special little guy and i love how pressed he gets when he loses. such a funny little man.

conor coady: third butch queen i love him sm he reminds me of my old gay coworker if he'd been scouse plus like his leadership his support his banter UGH baby girl

declan rice: perpetual source of anxiety re. west ham and transfer rumours but what a fuckin top geezer. i did convince myself he was gay for a brief period but that's over now i think i got confused bc he's actually funny plus those tiger print speedos.

mason mount: kind of king shit tbf he's very soft and feminine and he plays very nice football so

kalvin phillips: when i tell u this man is SO FINE. also that sliding tackle he made against maybe poland (?) lives in my head rent free

[destroyyaa]

supernatural! unless someone asked that then devil may cry!

Oh I am absolutely doing both lmao ok first, supernatural:

Blorbo (favourite character, character I think about the most):

Dean… I will always be a dean girl ahsjshskakk

Scrunkly (my baby, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

Castiel, absolute angelic himbo

Scrimblo bimblo (underrated/under appreciated fave):

Jo, I’m still so mad she died omg 😭😭😭😭 and Kevin 💖💖💖

Glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week):

ADAM! my boy deserves justice I’m glad he came back for like the final few episodes ;w;

Poor little meow meow (problematic/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave):

Balthazar, Gabriel or just like any of the original angel crew from seasons 4/5

Horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

Sam… I just really don’t like him the later seasons made him so boring :(((

Eeby deeby (character I would send to super hell):

Metatron, I couldn’t stand him from the first moment he was on screen blech also John Winchester, all my homies hate John Winchester

Next up, devil may cry:

Blorbo (favourite character, character I think about the most):

reboot Dante, like actually obsessed with him…. He’s been living rent free in my head since January 2013 💖💖💖💖❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥🖤🖤🖤🧡🧡💚💜💛💚💙💙💜🤎🤎❤️❤️❤️🧡🧡💛💚💜💙💜🤎🤎❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥💝💝💘💘💓💗💞💞💝♥️♥️❣️💕❣️❣️❣️

Scrunkly (my baby, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

Kat and lady and Trish just all 3,,,,, so fucking good

Scrimblo bimblo (underrated/under appreciated fave):

Nico! As much as dmc5 kinda bored me in parts nico was the right level of unhinged love her 💖💖💖

Glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week):

Eva! From both the reboot and original series she just really wanted to protect her kids ;w;

Poor little meow meow (problematic/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave):

Dmc3 specific Vergil, he is my fave lil moody asshole

Horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

Jester….(is his name jester I can’t fuckin remember the clown from dmc3 lol)

Eeby deeby (character I would send to super hell):

Fuckin reboot Vergil… sorry I just can’t stand him lmao 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

#asks #fabdante #thank you for the ask!!! #supernatural (seasons 1-5 mostly) and devil may cry are like my fave fandoms #gotta love demon hunters with daddy issues