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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #362

(this is actually from yesterday but i never posted it and now i don’t feel like updating the answers, so yeah)

Have you ever been cheated on? No. Who’s car were you last in? My mom's. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It's been pierced multiple times, but each time the hole closed after my piercings had to be taken out at the psych hospital. The final time though, it closed because the damn stud fell out in my sleep for the billionth time, I couldn't find it, and I let it close out of annoyance. Have your parents ever smoked pot? My dad has. Do you tend to make relationships complicated? I mean, I don't think so. I hope not. Are you good at giving directions? NO. Like, I can't. I would accidentally lead you to the middle of the ocean. Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room? She'd be confused as fuck because I live with her so she knows for sure I'm not seeing anyone. Did you speak to your father today? No. Did you kiss someone before you were sixteen? No, it was actually a month after turning 16. Could you go a day without eating? Nooo. I've said before and I'll say it again, I don't deal with abdominal pain well, so yeah. Are your nails always painted? They never are. Have you ever met any bands/band members before? No. What color is your hair? Boring 'ole brown. .-. Your best friend needed somewhere to stay, could they live with you? She absolutely could. I know Mom would welcome her without hesitation. Have you danced in the rain? No. When you said something naughty when you were little, did your parents wash out your tongue with soap? No, but it was threatened. What do you think of spanking little children when they do something wrong? Okay or not? No, it is absolutely not okay. You do not teach children through fear, ever, nor do you show children that it is ever okay to hit people when you're upset. Who was the last male you hung out with? Uhhh, I think Girt? I haven't truly hung out with a guy in a long time. Who is your favorite person to text? Sara. Who did you last take a picture with? My sister. What’s your favorite brand of jeans? I don't have one. Which show is better: Spongebob or The Fairly Odd Parents? The latter. Both can be funny, but Cosmo cracks me up. Has anyone ever told you that you looked like someone else? I actually think the only time I was ever compared to someone else (make-believe, at that) was when I dressed up for Halloween one year and a friend told me I looked like Eileen Galvin from Silent Hill 4: The Room. Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning? Yesssss. Who is the most overrated singer? Idk, I don't even know who's "in" right now. What is your favourite planet? Saturn. Do you have any pets that you had since you were born? No. Do you own anything that you had when you were a baby? Yes, stored away. Do you enjoy Mario games? Mario Kart is fun, but otherwise I'm not a massive fan. What’s your favorite online game? World of Warcraft. Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? I think so. I was always terrified of the days we got to play dodgeball or whatever, like that shit hurts. Do you ever turn your cell phone off? No. Who was last to cook for you? My ma. Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? Usually. Who is your most trusted person? My mom, probably. How late did you stay up last night? God, I don't even know. Last night was my sleep study, and I was so uncomfortable in that bed that I slept maybe only an hour or two. Hell, or less. I also couldn't sleep on my stomach, which really didn't help because that's always how I sleep. I'm exhausted now and have such a headache. When/where are you most likely to sing? In the car, I guess. I very rarely sing anywhere. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? FUCK YES. You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Panic like a motherfucker internally, avoid eye contact, and try to evade him (not like he'd actually pursue me) without being too obvious. Have you been/are you depressed? Both. Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yes. Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high? Yes, because I was afraid to tell her I didn't want. Thank fuck we got home safe. I was absolutely, positively terrified we'd be pulled over. Who is the best hugger you know? Ha, actually the person I just mentioned. Have you ever had to be put to sleep for an operation? Yes. Does anybody have any proof of stupid things you have done? Oh, Facebook comments... Why did you text the last person in your inbox? I was replying to my mom. Have you ever been able to do a split? No. Did you ever date the last person you kissed? Yes. Are you intimidated by the last person you know talked badly about you? She doesn't "intimidate" me, no. She just gets on my last goddamn nerve every time she opens her mouth. Have you ever cried in school? Yes. Last person of the opposite sex you screamed at? I've never screamed at a guy because I'm afraid of them. I've sobbed at Jason, so like my voice was raised, but it definitely wasn't screaming. Do you have any weird sleep habits? Well, speaking of screaming, my nightmares have me shrieking in the middle of most nights. I also talk in my sleep like, a lot. Do you consider yourself an emotional person? Very. When was the last time you had a headache? This morning, I'm sure because of how shitty I slept. When was the last time you encountered a puppy? Prepare for a rant... We have one right now, even though our landlord told us specifically no puppies because of all the housetraining they require. My mom has been wanting a dog, and Tobey finally agreed to it, and she's been looking for a while. So my sister Ashley randomly shows up with a stray puppy a friend was keeping, terrified and LOADED with ticks, and she's reminding Mom and I why we DON'T WANT A PUPPY. She's peeing everywhere BUT outside (specifically on a stupid fucking expensive carpet that Tobey will have a cow over just ONE stain), is terrorizing my cat, and has an overwhelming amount of energy. Ashley specifically told me that if Mom doesn't let Ash know, I needed to tell her if the puppy was stressing Mom out, "because this isn't supposed to be a stressful experience for her." Well, she's been sobbing again and again and I literally just came back mid-question from comforting her because she broke down so hard she could barely breathe because now she had diarrhea on the fucking carpet. Ashley's all bitchy now about it for no apparent or even remotely valid reason, and by God do I want to cuss her the fuck out over this bull she brought on. Safe to say we're not keeping the dog, but not quickly enough. When Mom hurts, I hurt, and I am so goddamn furious. Is there anything that happened a long time ago that you still laugh about? Yeah, a number of things. Do you ever try to interpret your dreams? No, given I don't believe most have any meaning. It's brain word vomit, lol. What was the last thing you bought impulsively? I don't have the income for impulse purchases. When I get money, what I'm after is well-planned. How do you feel about singing songs out loud in front of other people? I don't, usually. I'm very self-conscious about it. When was the last time you were feeling really, really nervous? That nervous, I'm unsure. I've been nervous, sure, but I haven't had a massive anxiety episode in a while. If you’re no longer in school, what is something you miss about it? If you’re still in school, what’s something you think you’re going to miss about it? I miss feeling productive and like I was going at least somewhere. Do you use your turn signals when you’re driving? Yes; I hate when people don't. How exactly are you feeling right now? Mad at my sister. Have you ever had to board up your windows because of a hurricane? No. Do you tell anyone to chew with their mouths closed? No, to avoid "confrontation" that is too negligible to even quality as conflict. I'm just a lil bitch when it comes to stuff like this. Have you ever ordered pizza and sent it to someone else’s house? No. What was the first thing you drank when you woke up this morning? My nurse or whatever her position is (I don't mean that dismissively, I genuinely don't know her title) brought me some orange juice. Do you think stretch marks from having a baby are ugly or badges of honor? Oh my god, fuck off. Anyone who can carry a child for nine months and then endure what I assume is the worst pain (usually) survivable has every ounce of my goddamn respect. The natural result of making room for a like 6+ lb. human being is not "ugly." It's a part of life and to me shows an incredible amount of bravery and love to be willing to go through something I could absolutely never. Ever done a keg stand? Haha, no. My dizzy ass will pass. Who is the last person you lent money to? My mom. Do you share clothing with anyone? Mom and I will share bras or pants sometimes. Have you ever visited anyone in a rehab? No. Was the last thing you drank a Coke or Pepsi product? No, I have lemonade right now. Honestly, do you think that you’re going to be an overprotective parent? IF I wanted to be a parent, I feel like I definitely would be. Not like... overbearing, but still extremely protective in cases I think it's called for. What was the last kind of chips you ate? Veggie chips yesterday, actually. They're honestly not that good, but it's a doable snack with salsa. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Economics. I dread taking care of my own money because idk what the fuck to do with taxes and such. What is the last thing you charged? My phone. Have you ever held a snake? I've held plenty of snakes, I love them.

#survey #surveys #questions

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agentwallflower · 3 years

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Supernova: Chapter 13

Yeah, I’m here... have a chapter. It’s gonna get fun soon.

Next chapter will be going up on December 26. It’s my holiday gift to you. Happy holidays, all that jazz.

...

Yeah I’m still really depressed but I wanted to try and get back in the swing of things. Maybe it’ll help, I don’t know.

Anyway, thanks for reading. See you in two weeks.

A week of being stuck at home had not done wonders for her mood.

“You sure you're ok, kid?”

Aunt Miri didn't normally look worried. She joked it was part of her makeup to look like a permanently pissed off pincushion. That was of course a lie – she had plenty of emotions that she was just good at hiding from most people. That didn't work on Andy, though – she knew the woman from years of seeing her at her bedside.

They were in her car once more, on what was probably the hottest day of the year so far. The newscaster had said before she had left that it was going to get up to 100, and that was before the humidity was factored in. For the humans, that meant they would be sweating their damn skin off and hoping for shade. For her, it just meant the outside was a little closer to her core temp.

Just a little bit though – she ran pretty hot.

She shrugged as she glanced out the window. It was good to see other sights than the tiny view from her attic room. Here she could at least make out the details of the people walking down the street. They all looked pretty sweaty, and most of them had water. After all, humans could die of dehydration, or so she had heard responsible parents tell their children.

Funny, her mother had never told her sisters that. Maybe she had just assumed they would figure it out on their own after collapsing.

“I mean, I went a little stir crazy up there.” She looked back to her aunt. “Thanks for busting me out.”

Her favorite punk pincushion grit her teeth as she turned onto the street the Union kept their hideout. “She was out of line there. Besides, the deal is you get once a week. You already missed one, which means you get two this time.”

Andy would've rolled her eyes at that. “I bet Sky Rider is happy for the overtime.”

It wasn't as though she had spent the entire week in her room staring through the floor to see if she could watch TV – she couldn't, by the way. Seeing through two floors was impossible even for her weird vision. Part of that time had been spent sitting up, staring at her fingers in the hope to see... something... happen.

Was it smart to attempt to use her powers in a residential area? Most likely that was a strong hell no, but it wasn't like anything had come of it besides the vague feeling of being stupid. Had it happened... well, she would've dealt with that later. It was neither here nor there, it hadn't worked so she was just someone staring at her hand for the better part of a week.

“I think he likes you. He kept asking if you were ok.” Aunt Miri shrugged. “Or he wanted the overtime. He's a psychic, they're all hard to read.”

Well, didn't that make her core bubble? Her teacher missed having her in the classroom so he could do his homework.

“Probably harder with that visor on...” Andy watched a dog pass by. She liked dogs. “Does he ever take that thing off?”

The woman next to her let out a sharp bark of laughter as she started to park the car. “Not as long as I've known him. He takes the whole secret identity thing seriously, I don't think even Ember or Scanner know.”

Well, someone had a stick up their ass about that...

It was faster this time to get into the Union house, or maybe it just felt that way to Andy as they made their way up. She still hated the damn elevator that threatened to press in on all sides on her, but it was at least a shorter ride than the first time. Maybe it was like exposure therapy. She should ask somebody about that later...

“Well, here we are, top fl-”

Miri's words died as the doors slammed open in front of them. A man was attempting to barrel his way through, shaking with rage. Given it was a very small elevator... he was kind of left standing in the door, staring at them like a quivering ball of jello.

A very dirty ball of jello...

“Get out of my way, PT.” He had a deep voice that boomed like an explosion. Apart from being very dirty, the only thing Andy could say about him was that he was probably white, probably around 40, and his eyes were the color of mud. They matched the earth that absolutely splattered his clothes and what little skin was uncovered. Normally, she saw him on TV in his often dirty hero gear, glowering at the screen as he stomped off camera.

So... Richter existed after all.

Miri responded by rolling her eyes. “You need to get the hell out of our way first, you know. Little hard to walk around a mountain of a man.”

Richter growled, but a few seconds later he took some steps back. Andy and PT stepped through the dirt he left behind. It wasn't like he made the stuff – that would be neat – but he wasn't terrakinetic. Rather, he just got his power from being around the earth and throwing it around. If that meant he needed to be a little dirty, he didn't seem to mind.

Made him not very fun to be around, though.

“Always with the jokes.” He entered into the elevator and slammed the button with a dirty fist. Soon the doors were closing on his clenched jaw and burning eyes. Then he was gone, with a dent in the wall and a bunch of mud the only proof he had ever been there at all.

Silence descended over the room as Miri brushed some dirt off her jacket. “And here I am, surprised he still works here.”

A warmth crackled from the room as Ember came back to her senses. “He may not after the talk we just had.”

“Jerk off thinks he can just take shifts whenever he wants. Wasn't in the damn agreement I signed.” Scanner sounded particularly annoyed as they pounded at the keys. “He'll get over it or he'll stay pouting.”

Something about their tone made the entire room wince. Andy didn't really see why, besides coworkers being mad at coworkers. That was really none of her business, so she left her aunt's side to enter the training room.

Time for more boring shit...

---

Well, leave it to Richter to know how to kill the mood.

Angel's ears were still ringing as he watched Andy set up for her training session. She went straight back to the same Nova videos she had been watching the last time, focusing in on what was probably her favorite at this point. It wasn't committed to his memory yet, but it was starting to transpose itself to the inside of his eyelids.

“So, what's up with that guy?” She kept her eyes on the screen. “Is Richter always that pissed off?”

The psychic snorted as he looked up from his sociology notes – yay minor classes. “He's mad because Ember told him to stick to his damn work schedule like the rest of us. We've been busting our asses covering for him and now he's mad he's not getting paid. The rules are pretty simple: if your ass isn't in the spandex, you don't get covered.”

It was on the paper they all signed when they first came up with their stupid nicknames that followed them for the rest of their careers. Somewhere, Ember kept them all to pull out and probably hit people with if they forgot. No doubt Richter got a few staples to the head when he tried to pull what he had. Too bad he hadn't noticed it, would've made the overtime and late nights with little sleep almost worth it.

Almost; he needed his sleep or shit got weird with his powers.

“Sounds like a dick.” She kept watching. “Never really liked him. Auntie's the coolest, but you and Ember are alright too.”

Angel would have been offended by that, but even he had to admit it was impossible to measure up with a butch lesbian in a leather jacket.

He finished scratching down some notes, pausing to check his student's progress. She was still sitting there, watching. Once in a while, her fingers would twitch as if she was trying to mimic whatever Nova was doing on screen. Nothing came off it except what probably would've been one hell of a cramp had she had normal fingers. Just watching her made his hurt as he continued to work.

“Is that actually helping?”

It took Andy a few seconds to respond – she was still doing the finger twitch. “No.”

Only his own blank face kept him from hitting the floor as she leaned back. “But it's not like I have any better ideas. You got any suggestions besides trying to make like Goku?”

Ah, so that had pissed her off more than he had thought. Angel felt his face heat up as he placed his books aside to join her in the middle of the room. That close, he would've been able to sense her aura if she had one. Instead, there was just the void that came with hanging out with an actual goddamn alien. In a way, it was kind of soothing. He didn't have to worry about picking up her thoughts.

Of course, that meant he couldn't get a handle on her powers either. With others, he could get hints if he read their auras. Without that key, they were both flying blind.

Great.

“Well, it's a blast, right? Try focusing on gathering energy in your hand. See, like here.” He tapped the frozen screen. Nova was center screen, holding out their glowing palm as they prepared to unleash one of their famous attacks. “I saw you were trying the whole palm thing, but really focus on imagining and gathering energy there.”

Andy shot him a blank look. “Gathering energy I've never seen.”

“Last I checked you don't have any better ideas.”

The blank stare he got in return would've melted steel. Andy didn't say anything after that, though. She just turned away from him and looked down at her outstretched palm. Of course, it wasn't really her palm. That was just the projection she used to get around.

…

Huh. Maybe perception was the thing.

---

“Have you considered trying to do it when you're blue?”

Andy picked up her head. For the last couple minutes, she had been staring down at her upturned palm in the hopes it would actually do something. The only thing that had changed was the fact Sky Rider was trying to help her, rather than losing himself to his books. Maybe he had finished his homework while she was attempting to train. She could respect those priorities.

He'd probably get along great with her sister. Maybe they had classes and she didn't even know it.

“What was that?”

Sky Rider gestured to her necklace. “Maybe you can't see your powers because the necklace is blocking it. There might be a hint when you're blue.”

Even thinking about her necklace made it feel heavier. Andy normally didn't even notice it, but now it was like having a boulder around her neck. She made a grab for it and felt the stone slip through her fingers. Every time she touched it, it felt like the tuning fork was being struck. When she was little, her mother had told her never to touch the stone while she was wearing it. While the woman had never elaborated, she got a feeling that may have been why.

And now she had to take it off?

Sky Rider must've taken her quiet for hesitation, because he rose and crossed the room. “Hey, Scan? Can you shut the cameras off for a second, I think they're gonna blow with the energy she's about to put out.”

“Not really supposed to do that...” she could hear the buttons clicking as the tech turned whatever was in there off – the electricity crackled as it faded out. “But it saves on having to make you replace the equipment for me. The one in there is a pain in the ass to reach, even if you can stand up for more than ten seconds.”

The psychic nodded as he backed away. “Thanks, I'll let you know when it's all clear in here.”

Then he was back at her side. Andy probably should have thanked him for that, but she had never been good at gratitude. Instead, she carefully gripped the necklace by the chain and pulled it over her head. As she did, she felt the energy field crackle as it was disrupted. It still held as long as it was touching her, but the moment she hung it up on a nearby chair, that field popped and died. No more extra fingers, she was back to how the universe had made her.

This was probably the part where she should have taken a deep breath. Couldn't quite manage that, but she could feel her core bubble and calm as she focused on the dead center of what she would have called her palm. At the moment, it was reflecting the overhead lights rather than making any of its own. A few seconds passed, and that didn't change.

“Well, this is productive.” She shot Sky Rider a blank look. “Got any better ideas?”

He shrugged – she hated humans could do that. “Keep trying. MegaFist didn't become MegaFist in a day.”

“No, she became MegaFist in about 12 minutes after being exposed to-” Andy stopped talking and shook her head. “Never mind, I don't think I'm affected by gamma rays anyway. Back to looking at my palm I guess.”

Sky Rider flashed her a thumbs up. “Just don't blow a hole in the wall, our neighbors have no idea they live next to superheroes.”

…

Yeah, she didn't even want to think about how that worked.

Andy looked back down at her palm, trying to picture the light she had seen that day. Of course, that was hard with her memories feeling like half cooked soup. They kept sloshing around inside her head, refusing to stay put long enough for one to make sense. She could only see bits and flashes of holding her hand up, of the heat and light that followed. None of that came with the activation instructions, though – just a cool light show.

Not exactly useful, but... at least she remembered seeing light first.

“Alright, stand back... I'm going to give it a try.”

Sky Rider jumped back so fast she swore he must have flown. That left her alone in the center of the room, facing the wall the exact way she had watched Nova do it time and time again. In her head, she mirrored the long gone hero as she held up her hand, palm stretched out. Then it was a matter of clearing her mind...

Andy watched her palm, hoping to see the light that would gather there. After a few seconds, she threw it out in the hopes it might be motion activated. Instead, she just managed to whack her hand into the wall when she leaned too far in.

It was a good thing she didn't bruise, or she was pretty sure she would've broken something from the solid collision she made with the wall.

“Are you two doing ok?” Ember's voice called out from the main room. “Sounds like you have jackhammer in there.”

Andy waved her hand to dissipate the vibration running up her arm. “Fine! Just experiencing some technical difficulties.”

That was putting it mildly. How the hell was she supposed to get this damn thing working? Now more than ever she wished Nova had left a manual behind... but until they found it, it was back to the drawing board.

Hopefully... she wouldn't put another dent in the wall. No way they'd be getting any kind of security deposit back now. Though, could someone do that with a bunch of superheroes? That be something she could ask her aunt about on the ride back.

But that was later. Fruitless practice came first.

---

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#Supernova Collision Trilogy #writing

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tisfan · 5 years

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Title: Gotta Fly before You Can Run Square: Tony Stark Bingo K3 – Anthropomorfic Bucky Barnes Bingo - C5 Bucky Bear Warning: animal shifters, social commentary, save the planet Pairing: Tony/Bucky Summary: Today is the day everyone finds out what animal they’ll be able to shift into for the rest of their lives. Tony is sure he’s going to be a dung beetle. Word Count: 2216 To: @monobuu and @rebelmeg Art by Monobuu For: @tonystarkbingo and @buckybarnesbingoLink: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20124472

The Choosing ceremony was, like many ceremonies, Very Serious, solemn, and Important. Which meant long, boring, and ostentatious.

Tony looked around at all the initiates. Most of them were not paying attention to the Speaker for the Animals, either. They were chatting with their friends, or placing wagers, or worriedly pacing around the amphitheater. Some were near the walls, talking with family members who were leaning over the edge to give an encouraging hand (or snack) to a prospective child.

If nothing else, after the Ceremony, Tony was rarely -- if ever -- going to have to deal with his father again. Unless he turned out, also, to be a weasel.

“If I turn out to be a weasel, I am going to go pick a fight with Loki,” Tony said to his group of friends. All, you know, three of them. Loki had been one of their classmates, until his Choosing came early, in the form of a bright, emerald green snake. Very poisonous.

“Pretty sure that’s a mongoose and not a weasel, Tony,” Pepper said, smoothing out her skirt. “You’re not a weasel.”

“I could be,” Tony said. “Howard’s a weasel.”

(more under the cut)

“Kids only got like a twenty-five percent chance of takin’ after a parent, if that high. And you don’t act like Howard,” Bucky Barnes said, reasonably. “You’ve got just as much chance of being a dove, like your ma.”

Tony was pretty sure the peaceful, contented, beautiful dove wasn’t going to suit him; not at all. He was not the sit around and coo after someone else’s achievements type.

Tony loved his mother; he didn’t want to be his mother. Being a dove might almost be worse than taking after Howard. Honestly, it was a wonder Howard hadn’t eaten his mom in one of those cross-breed mating goes wrong stories that always came up on the news.

“Easy for you to be relaxed,” Tony said. “You’ve got like a four hundred percent chance of being a bear.”

Bucky leaned back in the grass and looked up in the sky. “Barnes’ have been bears since there were Barnes’ and bears. Which doesn’t mean anything. I got a cousin who’s a horse. The Avatars make their own choices.”

“What if I’m something tiny and stupid, like a field mouse, or… or… or a shrew?” Tony worried. “You can’t be boyfriends with me if I’m a shrew, you could eat me for lunch.”

“If I’m a bear,” Bucky said. “Besides, if I was a bear, and you were a shrew, you’d be a lot too small to be lunch. You could pull thorns out of my paw or something.”

“That’s just a bunch of speciest garbage anyway,” Pepper said. “My parents are a cat and a bluebird and Mom has never, ever even threatened to eat Dad, even when his bluebird of happiness routine was getting on everyone’s nerves.”

“Somehow, I always thought your mom was the bird,” Rhodey said. “Don’t worry, Tones, you’re gonna be something amazing. Like a moose.”

“Ha ha, I’m not even Canadian,” Tony said. “What do you think you’re gonna be?”

“I am going to be a skunk, and then none of you motherfuckers are gonna mess with me, like ever again,” Rhodey said.

“Skunks are cute,” Pepper said. “Well, they are--” she defended when Rhodey and Bucky and Tony all burst into laughter.

“What do you want to be, Tony?” Bucky asked him.

“That’s the romantic garbage,” Tony said. “The idea that you can pick your animal. The Avatars choose, we don’t get a say in it.”

Like everything else in his life; Tony didn’t know why he continued to rail about it being unfair. With the general state of unfairness he’d thus far experienced, he didn’t know why one more unfair thing was such a shock.

“Yeah, but that’s not what I asked you. I asked you what you wanted to be,” Bucky said. “You can tell a lot about a person by what Avatar they think would suit them.”

“I dunno,” Tony said. “I’ve been so busy thinking about what I don’t want. Knowing me, I’ll probably be something little and useless and weird. Like, I dunno, a marmoset.”

“Why are you so worried about being little? It’s not like you have to spend your whole life in your animal form or nothin’.”

“Look at you,” Tony said, waving at Bucky… well, everything. “You’re huge. Your Avatar’s gonna be huge, and I’m going to be some rinky dink little critter and…”

“I will still want you to be my boyfriend if you end up being a dung beetle.”

“Is that possible?” Tony wondered. “-- does anyone actually become a bug?”

“Janet Van Dyne is a wasp,” Pepper said.

“Great. I’m gonna be a dung beetle,” Tony said, mournfully.

“And I’ve already said I will still want to date you,” Bucky pointed out. “Besides, if you’re a dung beetle, Howard won’t want you in the house at all. You’ll be free of him, at least. And, dung beetles are great astronomers. Like, all the great ones were beetles.”

“You’re making that up,” Tony said.

“Am not. It’s like most of the astronauts in the US are all from Ohio. It’s a statistic. Don’t you read the pamphlets we get for this shit?” Bucky asked.

“No?” Like, how was that even a question? It was like reading the assignments for your body and you in middle school. Tony already knew what a boner was, and to be smart and wrap it up before sticking it in someone, so what was 5th grade life sciences going to teach him? Turned out, nothing and all wrong anyway, so there was that.

“You think they’ll make us line up alphabetical order?” Pepper asked, suddenly. “I don’t want to. I want to stay with you guys until the very last minute.”

“Nah, we just line up,” Rhodey said. “Carol told me. She went last year.”

“They’re finally done talking,” Bucky said. “Come on, stand up. I want to get this over with. I hear the party after is amazing. We’ll all be actual adults and stuff.”

“An adult dung beetle,” Tony said. “Sure, why not? Should be fun.”

Bucky let Pepper and Rhodey pull ahead. “Nothing is gonna change how I feel about you, doll,” he said, seriously. “I don’t even care. We could be cats and dogs, living together, the end of the world, and I’d still want to spend it with you.”

“Even if I’m something revolting?”

“You won’t be anything revolting,” Bucky said, “because you’re going to be you, no matter what animal you are. None of the Avatars are revolting.”

“Howard is revolting,” Tony said.

“That’s because he’s Howard, not because he’s a weasel. He could be a damn golden eagle and he’d still be a shit human being,” Bucky said.

“What about a spider?” Tony demanded. “I hate spiders. I could end up being a spider and I’d literally freak myself out, like constantly.”

“Tony, it’s gonna be okay.”

“Promise?” Like Bucky could ever promise such a thing.

“I promise.”

"Stark, Anthony Edward," someone said, checking him off the list of this year's kids. Handed Tony another pamphlet. Your avatar and you: your new responsibilities as the representative of your animal.

They'd almost destroyed the planet and everyone in it when the first Choosing happened. One in every hundred or so people became psychically linked to a dying species, able to transform at will, able to communicate with the animals that were dying.

When the president of the United States became a god damn polar bear on national television, people started getting serious about saving them.

"I hope I don't become a cow," Tony said to the official. "I'm not ready to give up eating meat."

"Go down that hall and pick an open door," the official said.

"Any door? What if it's the wrong one?"

"Name?" The guy moved on to the next person in line. Well maybe if Tony picked the wrong door, he wouldn't get an Avatar at all. Were there any people left who were rejected by the entire animal kingdom? Trust Tony to be a pioneer in the field of screwing up, yet again.

Tony passed the first open door, because obviously the first one was the wrong choice, no matter what the deciding factor actually was. Couldn’t be too eager. He walked down the hallway, and he couldn’t see anyone and he couldn’t hear anyone else, and some of the doors were open and some were closed, and really, this building was not so large, he should have come to the end of the hall, eventually.

He looked back, but all he could see was empty hallway.

“This is some sort of test,” he decided. Psychics. God.

Avatars.

Tony ran for a while, thinking he could possibly outrun the test; scientific method. Discard the easy solutions first.

That didn’t work.

Tony knelt down near the wall, peering at it. “It’s curved. It’s an illusion, this hallway is a giant circle!”

Why?

“Come and talk to me about it, Master Anthony,” a familiar voice said, and Tony found himself headed for a door without even thinking. Jarvis, oh, god, he’d missed Jarvis, so much, these last few years.

He stopped at the edge of the door. “No, this is a trap, this is a test.”

“This is a familiar form,” the not-Jarvis said from the middle of the room, and he didn’t look much like the white-haired old butler that Tony knew, but a young man in his prime. The man Howard Stark saved on a battlefield during the War. “And one that you know, to talk about-- all this. Someone you trust.”

“I certainly don’t trust you, if you’re taking on that form.”

“Would you prefer another, darling?” And that was his mother.

“Not really, no,” Tony said. “What’s with the tricks, the pretending. I thought you just made your choice.”

“You’re difficult,” and that was Howard. Tony’s hands balled up into fists at his sides. “So clever. So capable. You’re one… one who could change the world.”

“Yeah, I get that all the time, since I was four, not living up to my potential, right,” Tony said.

“We know how to nurture your potential. All you have to do is say yes,” another voice said. He didn’t know that one, and he turned to look.

“Oh.”

She smiled at him, in a way that he would never have thought a smile could happen, a sense of a smile, and not a mere upturn of lips that anyone could fake. A real smile. A pure…

“Yes.”

It was strange, how many of his friends Tony recognized, even in their Avatar forms. There was Clint as a scruffy yellow dog, and Steve as a huge bald eagle. Sam was another bird, this one a falcon.

“Tony!” A fluffy ball of red fur barreled over to him. “You were gone for, like, ever in there, what happened?”

Tony turned and ruffled his feathers a little.

The red panda -- Bucky, quite obviously -- startled backward, arms and legs flailing as he gasped in shock. He rolled around awkwardly on the ground for a moment, before getting up onto hind feet to shriek at Tony.

“Oh, god, stop being so dramatic, I didn’t scare you.” Tony tipped his head to inspect a shiny bit of metal on the ground.

“You’re a--”

“Attempted murder,” Rhodey said. “Murder of one?”

“Raven,” Tony said. “Ha, ha. What happened to skunk?”

“Hey, male platypuses have damn poison sacks in their dew claw. I’m not complaining,” Rhodey said.

“You look like a duck got together with a ferret,” Tony said.

“Don’t make me hurt you, bird-brain,” Rhodey threatened.

“Oh, would you two stop, you know you love each other, best friends forever, right?” Pepper fussed at them.

“Wow, okay, wow, you are a very big lady cat,” Rhodey said, staring up at the lioness.

“I don’t love him, are you kidding?” Tony said, shaking his tailfeathers a little. “I love Bucky.”

“Look at me,” Bucky said, running around in a little circle, showing off long black legs, a cute little mask and a puffy tail. “Also, I’m arboreal, which means we won’t have much problems with living, because you’re a bird, and you live in trees, and I’m a tree climber--”

“Also, terrified of falling, I remember reading that somewhere,” Rhodey said. “Which seems a bit dumb for a species that lives in the trees, but you do you, fuzzbutt.”

“Of course my butt is fuzzy, I’m a panda. Which is not a bear, but don’t tell my sister that, I’ll never live it down.”

“You are not exactly lacking in the butt fuzz either, here, weirdo,” Tony said. “In fact, I am the only one of the group who does not have a fuzzy butt.”

“Also, you can fly, that’s totally cool,” Bucky said. “Go one, take a lap.”

“Sometimes you gotta fly before you can run,” Tony said.

“That does not make any sense,” Pepper protested, but Tony launched himself into the air, stretching muscles he didn’t even know he had. He made a circle around the room and then landed on Bucky’s head.

“I can fly!”

“You certainly can,” Bucky said, reaching up one soft-seeming paw to pat him gently. “You can fly.”

#tonystarkbingo2019 #buckybarnesbingo2019 #Tony Stark X Bucky Barnes #animal shifters

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 4 years

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Maou-jou 1

I sampled this manga with what’s called a “Viz sampler”. I only ever seem to find those at libraries, so I’d assume only they and bookstores can get those.

…Twilight looks like Maou Sadao (Hataraku Maou-sama!).

“Dawner”??? I can read katakana, ya idjits. His name is Akatsuki. Update: The translator must’ve gone, “Dawn is a girl’s name. Let’s tack on an -er so it looks like a guy’s name.”

Aw, Hiro Shimono is Akatsuki. If it were Yoshitsugu Matsuoka, we could’ve gotten a Kirito joke out of it.

Oh! 快眠 (Kaimin) = good rest, literally “happy sleep”. Hence this is the nation of Goodreste. I see.

The lightning effect is soooooooooo cool! *eyes glitter at the particle effects*

I’m gonna die from cuteness from all the teddies and seals!

The little fanfare is so cute and the yokudekimashita reminds me of my days playing the arcade game Bomberman (which had a flower sticker much like this one). I wanna see this get a dub and succeed on all its merits! It’s basically my baby already…bar the fact it took a bit to work up to the first good bit of comedy.

The teddy demons are called Debiakuma, a pun on kuma (bear), devil and akuma (devil). Lessee…After “lesser demon”, there’s more text…“Fluffy bears that can be also used as pets. They give in easily to temptation. A lot of them live in the demon castle, so the princess likes to gather their fur, dye it and spin nice cotton out of it. Warning: A lot of them will either run away or call you their friend./Occasionally act as friends for the princess.”

LOL, I recognised that voice of the Scissors guy straight away…although I didn’t know who it belonged to. That’s Suwabe. (It doesn’t sound like Suwabe, I would’ve thought it to be Takuma Terashima or something.)

Aw, the Japanese version is more boring this time. It’s just Scissor Magician (in the singular for both).

*hears Scissors Demon going -ageruwa”, which is a feminine sentence ending…that’s Suwabe trying to (voice) act effeminate???!!!

These trumpet sounds never get old.

LOL, Siberian huskies dressed as Russians…

Okay, my turn again: Hari means needle, toge means thorn. Next to “His stomach is soft”, part of the subs are cut off due to Funimation’s hardsubs, but I can read “he is proud of his defence” on the 2nd line, “is the type to not refuse when relied on” on the 2nd-last line and “his favourite food is strange bird chawanmushi” on the last line.

I love how parts of the castle are upside down for no reason at all except to look cool…architects must hate that, though.

I hadn’t heard of “seesaw battles” until now. but the metaphor does make sense...kind of.

What about changing the mattress? Update: She does do that…kind of.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Kirito was under my nose all along! Damn Demon Kinggggggggggggggggggg!

Kamina glasses on one of the background trees! Cute tapir! Ahhhhhhhh, it’s so cuteeeeeeee!

Anyways, that’s a fun show. Not as fun as HypMic, but still fun after it gains momentum.

Munou na Nana 1

I remember seeing spoilers for a twist at the end…let’s hope I don’t anticipate it. That would kill the entire anime for me.

The message actually says something about how the island is a nest for enemies of humanity.

There’s the ice narcissist I saw in the promo stuff, right on cue. I’ve never heard of his voice actor Hiromichi Tezuka before, although he does sound like Hiroshi Kamiya or someone much better.

Why do I get the feeling once the title character arrives, even Nanao will get powers…? Or maybe Nana is the catalyst for Nanao’s powers awakening or something? (Just realised having a Nana and a Nanao together in the same anime is confusing…)

Subbers spelt “noblesse oblige” wrong, unless it was deliberately done as such.

I predicted the “duke it out” line.

There’s a menu on the wall of the restaurant.

Maybe Nanao’s “talent” is his leadership stat or something?

Or maybe even Nanao is an enemy of humanity and doesn’t know it? (Sorry, speculation going into overdrive…that usually happens with superpower works like this for me, because I like to analyse them.)

Maybe Nanao can see the future, like the protag from Koi to Producer?

Technically, shouldn’t ice be weak against fire…? Or am I too used to the Pokemon system?

Called it! Nanao has a hidden power! (That reminds me: I still don’t know what Lucien’s (from Koi to Producer’s) power really is.)

Vigilantes is really good at exploring how people can expand on their own powers.

…wow, I heard rumours that the main character was going to die, but I’d pegged Nana to die, not Nanao.

Onodera is clearly important…maybe he was the one with the wind powers? Or was Nana lying about that?

…dude, the red eyes are kinda obvious that Nana is evil in some way, or at least really devious.

Grace of the Gods 1

All I really know of this is that it’s got slimes and it’s an isekai/SoL hybrid…That’s it.

…I am not, I repeat NOT, on board for a harem centred around an 11 year old!

Ryoma speaks with an unnatural amount of starts and stops, hence the caveman speak.

What’s Jil’s role in the party…?

Why would you even need to know 4 high-level skills? Isn’t it better to know all of them?

LOL, I knew the isekaid guy was meant to have a hard life so he could start over with slimes, but…stick Doppo in this and it’s basically the same thing. At least Doppo tries to resist his bosses behind their backs, this guy just did the whole gaman thing and look where that got him!

If he worked for a black company with no overtime and so forth, how did he know about a recent anime trend, eh??? Sounds suspect. Update: Unless he was thinking about 90s isekai, which still involved less reincarnation than this.

I noticed the gods have senbei (the rice crackers with the seaweed). Western-looking gods probably shouldn’t have senbei, unless…they did that to make Ryoma feel more at home?

Seriously, how does a guy with no overtime still have time for online games? Even if he were getting just ads for them, he probably wouldn’t have paid enough attention to be able to figure out what the cliches are, right? Either that, or the Dragon Quest system is older than I think it is.

Slimes don’t have paws…or hands or other appendages…to give…

…I’m not sure what to think there. Am I meant to think the slimes are cute? Am I meant to think the catgirls/animal girls are cute? The answer to those questions is “no”, so…eh.

IWGP 1

Basically, I chose this for associations with HypMic.

…the best first impression involves a CGI car. Of course. <- (sarcastic)

Given HypMic, I almost expected a rap battle…nahhhh…Rap battles don’t look so cool outside HypMic, man.

The owl is a pun. Fukurou (owl) matches ‘bukuro (bag, which is the 2nd character in “Ikebukuro”). There’s also an owl statue used as a meeting spot, much like Hachiko in Shibuya…(I learnt a bunch of things about the division territory through HypMic. Let me show off…)

I think the character designer for this anime also did Joker Game…that’s throwing me off a little. Also, they had a prime opportunity to use a Buster Bros song, so I’m still a bit miffed about that – this OP’s kinda standard. Update: The character designer is Junichiro Taniguchi – my insinct was wrong on him. He did Touken Ranbu Hanamaru’s character designs.

“Smoking kills” – Yuuuuuuuup. That’s true.

Why do I get the feeling all the male otaku will wanna bang Makoto’s mother (to put it lightly)…?

Curiously, the one who hates drugs in HypMic is Jyuto, who’s not from Ikebukuro Division at all. Hmm…

Yokoyama’s voice sounds familiar…but I’m not sure why. Update: If I had to guess, I’d say he’s Saito Soma or someone who sounds similar, so maybe Takuma Terashima, Daisuke Ono or something like that. Update 2: Takahiro Sakurai. See? I knew I knew that voice.

“Big Rei” (“Rei-nii”). That’s different from Ichi-nii (what Saburo calls Ichiro) and could also be goroawase for 02.

Uni of Tokyo is the most prestigious uni in Japan. It has quite the reputation.

…is it just me, or does Makoto have a piercing in his left ear? IWGP also happens to happily work with my existing character, although said character has a piercing in his right ear.

Zero One kinda looks like Uta (Tokyo Ghoul), LOL.

…and of course the girl has to rely on the dude. *sigh* Welp, we can throw drugs off the list for “things that count as TV-MA to Funimation” – IWGP is rated M (not 15+ explicitly, but that’s what it stands for normally) in my region.

This ED song…that’s the sort of song I was expecting from HypMic, Akudama or this.

Seems both Makoto and Takashi have earrings…maybe in both ears? Takashi’s are yellow, I could confirm that much.

…this is decent, but putting it up against its competitors is a bit harsh.

Crusade 1 (cont. from sneak peek - it’s in the title here because this is where it’s completed)

Turns out that preview was most of the episode…like “14 of 24 minutes” long.

Wait, how did Alice fall forward and end up in the princess carry pose? I remember having trouble with that when a character in a story of mine had the same problem.

…Iska-nii…(?)

That opera house looks pretty darn modern to me…

…eh…that was middling. Nothing any ol’ adaption of Romeo and Juliet couldn’t do, bar the CGI for the magic fight in the middle. (There was a fluffy griffin thing in the middle there, though.)

Akudama 1

Ume + Kimura and a cool urban aesthetic. Let’s go!

This is kinda Tron-like, eh?

Ooh, now it’s more like Cop Craft.

Kimura seems to use his gruffer voice more than his Ichiro voice, but Ume is actually worse on that fron with his ordinary voice…Welp, at least his ordinary voice sounds like it fits right in with the Courier. I almost expect an Ocean’s Eleven thing (or Now You See Me, since I’ve actually watched that) from this. Update: Turns out Kimura is the pompadour guy, not the fighter.

You can tell Ordinary Person is an okay person because she keeps saving cats. A bit cliché, but it’ll do.

Ohhhhhh…I can see where this plotline is going. Ordinary Person pretends to be Swindler to get herself out of this mess, but then she keeps getting involved with the Akudama. It’s a typical plot for a typical gal, common to insert a viewpoint character in series that require one, or a magical girl ally.

Wow, those missiles look like a**.

LOL, Hoodlum’s sentence is kinda measly in comparison to most of them. Plus, when he yelled, that sounded more accurate to Ichiro than Fighter was, so…yeah, sorry I messed up.

…Ordinary Person has some real bullseye…uh, eyes.

This could be a top contender…aside from the CGI, which does look a bit funky. I’m getting a death game vibe here, but I don’t know if that’s really the case. Also, it’s a lot of fun, but the possible intolerable thing here is Ordinary Person’s screaming – the pretense she has to keep up seems like it’ll fit right in though.

JJK 1

I read the manga once, dropped it and then read it again and didn’t realise why I dropped it.

Fushiguro has long eyelashes, tbh. Itadori comments on that at one point, I think.

Oh, it was a fish (carp) in the manga. I couldn’t figure out what the Japanese equivalent was just from the Kokkuri board.

This track club teacher is a bit of a freak, honestly. Meddling in kids’ affairs is probably illegal to some extent.

Itadori is known as “tiger” because the kanji for “tiger” is in the surname. Update: Also, the Czech dude Mirko was called “the Croatian tiger”, if a tweet I read is any indication.

I like how there’s more comedy in this one. They show the world records, so you have standards to compare Itadori against.

This is an almost beat-for-beat adaption, bar the slight comedy of the records being added (and not explaning who Mirko is). The contrast makes this better.

“People really can die.” – That’s summoning some real energy of “People die when they are killed.”

(Brief thoughts on the dog and cat short: I enjoyed that more than I thought I would. The picture of a realistic cat – someone’s actual photo of their cat?- that serves as a punchline never gets old and in fact, sometimes contributes to the humour.)

HypMic 2

LOL, TV-MA warning strikes again.

“Kore wa prologue/Hajimete no ippo/Fumidasanai yatsu ni wa/???? shinpo.” – The translation is really good for the bits I can read…the problem is I can’t read the bottom left corner. Update: The part in the bottom left is nai...That’s it.

…uh, even people from around the world can read 24 hour time??? You don’t need subs to read Arabic numerals???

…couldn’t you have just told Ichiro verbally, Saburo…? Update: Come to think of it, kids these days are more on their phones than ever, so it makes sense but also kind of doesn’t.

You don’t really need subs for laughter either…

I’d never heard of “pulling rank” before…hmm: “to use one's high position in a society, organization, group, etc., to order someone to do something or to get special treatment or privileges.”

…and here comes the F word here to mess with us again. Japanese nastiness is conveyed using words that might be considered “soft” in English, hence the sudden jump to use the F word a bunch, but the subbers could use some variety in their swearing. I mean, “dips**t” worked where it did because subbers made Samatoki go overboard with the F word, but…you could stand to use that more, maybe(?)

I like how even the Tenderloins guy rhymes where he’s meant to. It’s the prelude to a battle, after all. (He kinda looks like Kotaro from Zombieland Saga.)

…I freaked out for a second. I swore I saw a similar-looking restaurant (udon shop, located on the left of one of the shots) while in Japan. Also, we finally get to see Ichiro’s reputation at work.

…I still have no idea what a “steelo” is after all this time, but I didn’t realise I was staring at a part of Ore ga Ichiro until I saw it in context. Also, it was kinda derpy – but still really in character – for Ichiro to run to his destination with his arms up like the Glico man in Osaka (except he had his head down).

I get a weird feeling the subbers may have used the wiki translation because I’m using it as a reference and the language seems oddly similar for the most part…

The kick Ichiro does seems like it references the OP.

Notice the location is Nishiguchi Kouen…the West Gate Park. *raises eyebrows at the IWGP anime*

…oh! It occurred to me that the sign the BB do with their hands is…well, a lowercase B. (LOL, if you read my previous line funny, it rhymes.)

Gentaro doing the peace sign to his chest…that was random the first time, because it doesn’t seem in character, but then it does for Dice and possibly Ramuda, so Gentaro probably just chose to go along with it (“to add to his image as a rapper,” maybe…?).

Oh, Saburo has airpods in…those aren’t good for blocking sound, are they…?

Notice the owl on the…uh, café(?)…Ichiro goes to.

That one “holy shit!” made me laugh like a madman. Where it came from, I don’t know, but it was so random I had to laugh at it.

This makes me wonder…if you use a mic that’s different to your personal mic, does it produce the same speakers? No one’s ever addressed that before (much like how no one questions if magical girls always need the same transformation device – I wanted to make a plot on that someday, but I can’t seem to find a comprehensible way to pull it off…LOL, that reminds me, I even had a HypMic version of that featuring Samatoki at one point, but it probably makes even less sense than the standard one because it activates via physical contact. It’s notable – in my head – for Nemu’s version of the “power” being “Samatoki can’t swear, no matter how hard he tries”).

I’m pretty sure that round thing wasn’t part of Ichiro’s rings, ever. (…Unless that was the head of his spoon or something.)

…Microwave? (referring to the shot inside the hospital, which seems to be based off ARB)

The series normally transitions from BB -> MTC -> FP -> MTR, so it was interesting to see that shuffled up. Update: That’s if it has to have an order, but notably ARB breaks this standard a lot by assigning colours to each solo and then arranging interactions based on not repeating those colours (aside from the Sky High Tower event). With 4 things there are 4! = 24 possible combinations and 6! = 720 possible combinations if you count DH and BAT, so as we move forward with those 2 divisions...prepare for more shuffling.

…is Jiro gonna steal a ball? I thought it was just bikes anime characters stole. (LOL)

The mic changes the background, too, huh? Never expected that from more than the speakers.

…and of course, s*** explodes and the day is saved once again....by the Buster Bros!!! (LOL, but also *sigh*)

Hmm, so this anime’s real plotline probably involves this trio: Rex, Tom and Iris. They’re probably foreign in some way, judging by Tom and Rex. Maybe they’re aligned with a foreign government or something? Update: If you look at the credits, their full names seem to be Tom Whisper Weathercock, Iris Innocent Traiter (sic) (LOL) and…Taroumaru Rex…? (romanisations confirmed for all katakana)

Sadamezuka was voiced by the ubiquitous Kenjiro Tsuda.

It seems Cola Bintarou (aka Subaru Kimura) was on the case again today. He wrote the new song for BB, called RUN THIS CITY, along with Gesshoku Kaigi.

Of course, I’m going to keep this anime on my list...I’m just a bit worried about myself going forward, because I realised my ego got a bit inflated trying to defend the series from haters. I’ve never had a series where I’ve been a fan from the beginning that wasn’t already a known quantity for a while (Muhyo and Roji’s, Furuba). With Boueibu, I was discovering things alongside other people (or even later in a lot of cases) since it was anime-original.

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misadventures-phan-can · 4 years

Text

Chapter 3 - Toothless

The long awaited and thrilling Chapter 3 is here!

Sorry it took a while...

As Tommy went about her day as described in the first chapter, other things were simultaneously underway across the city that would’ve very much pricked her intrigue. If she’d known, of course. As it stands, she did not, and instead had to deal with unpleasant customers and a teasing employer. We now return to our doggish Lieutenant at the start of his day, and the events that led him to Melder’s great capital.

By Meldarian standards, it was the morning of a new Cycle when they reached Trader City. Cpt. Skewlls had explained that technically, this was not true. A Cycle was simply a means to divide time, he’d said as they leisurely flew through the planet’s atmosphere towards the capital; a means to divide a planetary day that lasted a Standard Galactic week and then some. When met with the surprised and, in some cases, horrified expressions of his crew the Dhuuma cackled, green eyes catching the light from the closest navigation console and shining like an animal’s. Yes, he’d continued, two-thirds of the week triplet suns shone something horrible down on the populace, and somewhere in the middle, it goes dark for roughly three Galactic days. Two extremes, with only some reprieve during the 12-some Galactic hours it took for the suns to set and rise once more.

“You’re somewhat lucky, pup.” Sharp teeth glinted behind the Captain’s playful grin, making the short hairs of Lieutenant Famillion’s neck prick uncomfortably. He was never quite settled around the Captain, no matter how much he trusted and respected the man, especially when he bore that expression and used that tone. It usually meant he spoke of equivocations whilst holding some sort of cleaning tool behind his back, readying to spring chores upon his crew unexpectedly.

“What do you mean?" He asked, nervously eyeballing the closet, which held all of the maintenance equipment. Surely not, his Captain wouldn't be so cruel as to- "It means you have less time in the sun, no chance of becoming a hot dog.”

The Captain’s amused voice brought the Mimic’s attention back to him, but the Lieutenant didn't hold his gaze for very long. The rest of the crew’s giggles, most prominently Jaylin’s, died out steadily; Cpt. Skewlls’ wicked grin fading with them as they all turned back to their stations. The mood which they’d labored so hard to lift fell muted once more, just like all previous attempts. The shadowy Captain drifted over to his Lieutenant from the central station, silent like a ghostly mist creeping over the deck. Silent enough that Canis started when he felt a hand on his shoulder, head snapping around to see the Captain holding out a sponge and grinning a bit too toothily. The Lieutenant’s nose scrunched and his lip curled at the biting smell of vinegar-soap emanating from the sponge, and he looked up to meet Cpt. Skewlls gaze with wide eyes and furrowed brows. When his superior’s grin only widened with amusement, he understood- face falling into a grimace.

“What, really? Now? I thought you were just joking!”

“Of course not,” The Captain’s eyes glimmered a merry, mischievous green at Canis’ tone of sheer desperation. “Now, now, don’t worry. The rest of the Jester’s will be at it as well.” The others groaned, collectively slumping at their stations. Cpt. Skwells merely rolled his eyes.

“Come on now. Chip-Chop.” He clapped. “We’ll be arriving shortly and I want this cabin shining so much that I can see my non-existent reflection in the breaker-boxes.” The Captain made sure to stand there and watch until they’d gotten up to gather supplies, then simply turned away and let them get on with their distraction. That’s what it was, and most realized it even as they happily settled down into the routine of cleaning. Joe stood at the closet and passed out the equipment- a broom to Ezio, a mop to Jaylin, and finally, the "dust-sticker stick" was handed to Canis- along with a bucket of vinegar-based product for the polishing sponge later.

And clean they did, until the call to get back to their stations and initiate Ramp-Landing procedures came over the high speaker. Despite the distraction, the cabin remained muted. Canis went through the motions, calling out positions and checking conditions on the outside of the locomotive as if he were merely watching from afar as someone piloted his movements. He tried to satisfy his aching chest by recalling all the good times, all their accomplishments- and all the tough times that brought them ever-closer. It failed miserably and only made his heart hurt more, a bitter taste spoiling his tongue. The Lieutenant didn’t want to go, didn’t want to leave his ridiculous crew and his questionable-but-kind Captain. He knew the others wanted him to stay too, they kept glancing his way and he could tell exactly what they felt about this separation, even as they made their last descent.

"So… I guess this is it.” Once the jostling of a smooth, ramp-assisted landing ceased, and the elegant Casino Royale was parked in her bay, the crew sat in telling silence. The Mimic looked quickly away from his station’s screens, away from the shifting hot-red world outside that made his eyes water, and let his gaze sweep through the cabin to meet the eyes of his four other crewmates. He cracked a small grin, hesitant, biting his lip before he spoke again. “After you lot buy me a drink of course."

"We'll send you off with a nice swig o’ milk." Cpt. Skewlls smirked after another moment, teeth glinting as sharp as his eyes as he spoke. “After all, wouldn’t want our doggy officer getting poisoned with his last drink with the Jesters.”

"Ahah! Milk is as bad as alcohol for dogs, because, dogs! Again! Unlike Mimics! Again! Are lactose intolerant!" Canis huffed in mock annoyance, cheekily tutting as if disappointed in the Captain’s refusal to remember. “I am a Mimic, therefore, bring on the booze bitches.” He spread his arms wide, daring the Captain with a sheepish grin.

In the meantime, the crew had moved towards the door. Ezio stood in the corner, already anticipating the eminent jaunt into the infamous Trader City. He followed the conversation with slight bewilderment, eyebrows hiking ever further up as, finally, he looked to Jaylin, then to Joe for an explanation. The Tobitoan saw Canis' smug-looking face, wondering if all of these facts were meant to confuse, or were indeed legitimate. To the short Commander standing at his left, he leaned over and stage-whispered behind a raised hand, “Have we been… feeding our Mimic poison? Is synth-milk really that bad for him??”

"I don’t think he’d lie?" Jaylin didn’t know any more than he did and seemed to be just as confused, watching their Captain smirk and advance on Canis curiously.

"But… the whole… synth-milk in a saucer thing! The yogurt treats! Dogs are mammals, aren’t they?? Mammals drink milk. From their ma’s. Right?"

The other Tobitoan Lieutenant looked back at his counterpart, who met his gaze and winked in a comically forced manner. Joe merely shrugged. “The Lieutenant is not a Dog.”

Canis, who was most definitely not of the class Mammalia, curled his lips into a grin that showed far too much tooth to be all that innocent. “See, now the whole crew thinks I’m a common mutt!” He nudged their Captain, now standing to his right, with an elbow. “Except Joe of course, because Joe is the best person here.” At this point, they had all migrated from their stations into the antechamber of the engine, waiting for one of the Sub-Lieutenants in the wagons to give the ‘O.K.’ to open the airlock.

"I've been a bird owner my whole life, really, my family owned a Rockroc. I wouldn’t be able to tell you much." Jaylin provided with a shrug, sending an apologetic grin to a still-befuddled Ezio.

"You don’t say?" Lieutenant-Commander Joe perked up. He’d always wondered about those birds, it had been rumored that only a handful had ever been tamed, most notably the one that’d made its perch upon the shoulder of that one infamous space pirate. Hemlock? Herlock? Something like that, concluded Joseph, who came from a small moon of an even smaller solar system, the news of which, before he’d joined the SDF, had consisted solely of the occasional old, drunk spacemen’s yarn.

"Yes," the Cpt. Skewlls interrupted sharply, fingers snapping once to set the wandering thoughts of his crew back to the task at hand. Jaylin and Ezio straightened up so quickly from their semi-conspirative hunches that their spines cracked, and Joe, well. Joe, who’d been paying attention no matter how distant and birdish his thoughts became, only set his expression into something altogether sterner with barely a twitch of his lips.

“Yes, the milk thing is true. Moving on now,” The Captain glared momentarily at the youngest Lieutenant, blaming him in full for this quick, albeit appreciated, digression.

“We’re heading to the nearest pub, which I believe is the Dustdog, off-duty, and we’re getting drunk. The Sub-Lieutenants and the deckhands will join us once they finish up with things here at Royale. Catch is, we only have 3 hours or so to do it, so tab is on me.” Half the ranking officers present were near-vibrating in anticipation. Then the Captain’s tone dropped suddenly, dangerously- the antechamber became visibly darker, and green sparks- tricks of the light, they didn’t really exist, or did they?- danced in the corners of the mortal crew’s perception. “However, if one of you show any, and I mean any sign of inebriation whatsoever when we check in with HQ, you will regret it.” The oppressive darkness disappeared as abruptly as it had come, and the ‘fearless’ ones took a breath of relief. Cpt. Skewlls merely grinned something akin to a shark and clapped his hands in delight. “Perfect!”

The call to unlock the bulkhead rung loud above their heads, timed near-perfection with the Captain, as most things were on the Casino Royale.

“Okay humans- and Mimic- Let’s go hit the bar at a planetary hour that would shock most and completely offend others!”

"I'll just start off slow, I think,” hummed Canis, voice smooth and languid, almost whimsical. The Dustdog, despite the local hour, bustled with the sight, smell and energy of a couple of dozen patrons. Most either with keen business interests on the planet or simply waiting out a stop-over on their way somewhere else. Some species the young Lieutenant could recognize, while some were completely foreign and drew his gaze, eyes blown wide and sparkling with unguarded curiosity. Scents rushed to clog his nostrils, the air sweet with sweat and a pungent fruity aroma, toned with earthy malts and fermented brews. Something rancid and bitter seemed to be emanating from a couple pitchers on the bar counter, probably some sort of local drink. Lights flashed, music played a bit too loudly, the rhythm buzzing in his ears like the low, throaty yowl of a Hellcat back home. Swallowing a lump that had risen in his throat, the Mimic tore his attention away from the patrons and back to the Jesters, looking to them as they gathered around the doorway. Eventually they all stood in the entrance with matching, stupidly large grins spreading across both Jaylin and Ezio’s faces. Joe, calm as ever, scoped the bar out with a few sharp-eyed glances and then turned to his crewmates.

"Starting slow is good advice, I say we all follow it. ‘Ey Jay? Ezio?" He teasingly nudged the shorter Commander and earned a finger-flick for his troubles. It never hurt to urge the youth to be responsible, no matter how futile the effort.

Ezio, with a hearty slap on the back which nearly knocked the Mimic lieutenant off-balance, dismissed the very notion with a careless wave of the hand. "And where's the fun in that? Use that nose of yours.” He spoke straight to Canis. “Drinks are on the captain. We either all get plastered or we all wallow in a pitcher of sadness- there’s none of this designated driver bullsh-” He cut himself off when he glanced Joe’s expression. “Look, ok, the Captain can’t even get drunk, there is no reason we can’t do this-”

"Oh, my Telyris- Is that peanut butter?" Canis distractedly interrupted Ezio’s fumbling, saving the Tobitoan from an early grave and earning his endless gratitude. Paying him no attention, Canis pardoned himself with a mumbled word and zeroed in on the scent of the delightful treat he hadn’t had since leaving the SDF’s HQ. However, he did not expect the form in which he found his favorite snack; as he not-so-subtly passed around the table where four small shots of creamy, golden liquor had been served, he slowly realized that they were the source of the peanut butter. Eventually one of the occupants of the table realized he was there, and half-drunkenly told him what they were drinking, among other things. The lieutenant, now flushed deep blue at the ears, scurried off to track down his crewmates and order the first round of what would be quite a few, not dissuaded from his goal despite the minor hiccup.

He caught sight of the Captain first, sat at the counter sipping something strong and clear. The Dhuuma’s sharp gaze swept across the room, watching the patrons with the languid intrigue of a cat perched on a window sill, viewing that morning’s selection of finches at the birdfeeder. He met his lieutenant’s eyes, nodded, and promptly turned back to observing the bar-goers.

Much to Jaylin’s frustration, as for the first time that night she had to admit defeat and put down her hand. The luxury cards had shown a glorious green and black, bearing not a scratch or fold. Until a few weeks ago she’d merely use the cheapest cards money could buy, however Cpt. Skwells had decided that his favorite and only card-playing crew-member could not use such a drab set. She was, in fact, the only one in the whole of the SDF who had not yet given up on the absurd notion of, one day, defeating the Demon King of Black Jack himself. Jaylin’s determination brought a faint smile upon the Captain’s face, and he put his drink down to reshuffle the cards for another game. They were going to be there for a while, and the scene brought up tender memories of the Lieutenant’s first couple of weeks on the force. He’d learned his lesson on his second night with the Jesters, and soundly beaten he’d never tried his luck at poker ever again. Ezio would try once in a blue moon or when he was too drunk to know any better, in both instances resulting in solid losses that the rest would tease the poor Tobitoan with for weeks thereafter.

Joe was the only one who ever came close to beating the Captain, though he rarely played- much to the later’s deep, continuous chagrin.

Shaking off the creeping melancholy, the Mimic quickly searched for Joe and Ezio, knowing both would probably be together and saving a seat for him. Once he spotted them Canis quickly put in his order with the bartender, changing his mind from shots to an individual tumbler; seeing as everyone already seemed to have their drinks. That accomplished, he made his way over to the duo.

Joe, and with him Ezio, had taken a quieter seat at the end of the booze-stained counter and altogether not too far from Jaylin and the Captain. Canis perched on the stool to Joe’s right, watching curiously as the bartender approached the small group. With a quick glance around, he realized both his companions had yet to order and a smirking grin pulled at his lips.

“So Joe, wha’cha gonna get? Milk? Water?” The Mimic snickered, Ezio’s eyebrow curving up in what seemed like surprise. The Tobitoan seemed about to correct his younger colleague, but the bartender interrupted him, flatly asking for their order whilst simultaneously placing Canis’ drink on the sticky countertop in front of him. He took a sip of it, savoring the creamy, artificially flavored peanut-buttery delicacy as he watched and waited for Joe’s reply with mischievously twinkling eyes.

“I would like an Argyenian Basilisk Spritz, please an’ thank ya’ ma’am.” Canis sputtered, half his drink spat back into the tumbler as he turned to stare at Joe in wide-eyed shock. “Wh-what??” Ezio snickered, in turn ordering himself a local Meldarian brandy he’d never heard of out of pure curiosity. The bartender left without sparing them a second look, and Canis was left reeling.

"No! Seriously? Joe? What in Tyr’s nation-??”

Joe smirked, shrugging in a sort of smug nonchalance that had the Mimic even more confused and looking to Ezio for answers. He merely laughed, shaking his head in amusement and eyes glowing warm with mirth.

“That’s right, we never brought you to a bar before- My man here, Joe-” He clapped his partner on the shoulder, grinning, “-can hold his liquor like no one’s business. He doesn’t look it cuz he gives everyone the impression of a man who dines with his grandma every Sunday.” Joe’s harrumph at that had Ezio backpedaling, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Look, not that that’s a bad thing Marge is the nicest woman I know-” the Tobitoan turned back to Canis, “point is, don’t judge a book by its cover eh? Joe may look like the goodiest two shoes you ever did meet but he did some crazy sh-”

“That’s enough o’ that there now,” Joe warned, but he had a look in his warm brown eyes that had Ezio rolling his eyes and sighing. “Fineee. One day Joe, one day…” Pondering over what that could mean with a bemused half-smile, Canis turned to check in on the other two just in time to catch them making their way over. In lieu of greeting, Captain Skwells jutted his chin at the tumbler in front of the lieutenant. “What do you got there Lieutenant Famillion?” The tips of Canis’ ears warmed, and he just knew they were flushed blue in embarrassment.

“It’s a Reeses Meeses.” He muttered, much to everyone’s delight. They shared a laugh, Ezio cackling as he answered, “Peanut butter eh? That’s a start of a bad joke right there, ya know. Dog goes to a bar, followed by a cat and a Dhumma-” he jutted a thumb at the Captain mischievously, “Dog orders peanut butter, cat gets milk and the Dhumma orders a can of gasoline-”

Canis interrupted him before the Captain could, blowing the dark-haired Tobitoan a raspberry. “I’m not a dog! Again! Can’t relate.”

“You’re canine-like, and you have this weird fixation on peanut butter- that’s enough for me.”

A firm cough disrupted the argument before it could start in earnest, the Lieutenant biting his tongue to hold back his rebuke and glaring at Ezio’s smug grin before all attention was directed to the Captain. Simultaneously, the bartender arrived with Joe and Ezio’s drinks, darting away just as quick to serve a group of rowdy patrons who had just come in.

The corners of Cpt. Skwells’ eyes crinkled as a pleased grin spread across his face, and with an approving nod at the new refreshments took up his own glass and held it in front of him. The rest of the seated crew took the cue and grabbed their own, waiting anxiously for whatever their beloved Captain was about to say.

“Well, while I would have liked to be able to get properly plastered with you all- not that these words will ever be repeated, mind you, in a professional setting-” he met each of their eyes carefully, and as that bright, swirling green gaze passed over him, the young Lieutenant felt the small hairs at the back of his neck prick up warily, on instinct.. “-It is to my great displeasure that I am forced to announce this round- our first- must also be our last. We do not have as much time as initially thought, so let this speech be brief.” The Captain’s attention turned solely to the Mimic, grin shortening into his everyday smirk. “It was a pleasure to work with you, Ltn. Canis Lycaon Latran Lupis Famillion. You worked hard and played hard, fit right in with this band o’ misfits. Your first few years were hilarious, best entertainment I’ve had since Joe and Ezio began to crush on each other.”

Both parties sputtered, but the dhuuma’s teasing grin was enough for them to keep their complaints unspoken. The Captain continued without acknowledging them, his expression schooling into something more solemn, smirk tightening into something more mature. Canis’ back straightened, and he stood taller. He was now being addressed by The Captain. Not Cpt. Skwells, not even Ethan- but one of the most respected and infamous captains of the SDF.

“You are, and forever will be, a valued member of Jester Platoon. Call on us and we will be there, I will be there. You will always have a place with us, Lieutenant.”

The young mimic’s eyes stung, but he could not discern whether it was due to the pungent odors in the air or the assurances given to him by his Captain. He did not want to know which it was, either. He only managed a nod back, unable to speak.

From the sidelines, there came a snort and suddenly Jaylin barreled her way forward to fasten herself around the Lieutenant.

“Group Hug!” She proclaimed, quickly being followed by all the crew with the exception of the Captain. They remained like that a moment, Canis holding on to his friends, cheeks mysteriously wet as the others pulled away to reclaim their glasses. Cpt. Skwells waited for them to be ready before lifting his own tumbler with a sharp grin. “To Lieutenant Canis! May we many more successful missions together, and may he finally find his beloved peanut butter!”

Somehow, one round turned into three before the Captain, the only one still and forever sober, wrangled his crew towards the docks. Canis had followed them, the good-byes had been long and tearful until finally, all that was left for him to wave at was the dark-red smudge of the Casino Royal ascending through the atmosphere.

Not that he would remember much, as he stumbled off to find shade during the hottest time of the Meldarian day. As it was, Canis found an alley to crash in and nap- mind fuzzy and body heavy from alcohol, until his thoughts were clear enough to explore and find his bearings. Propped against some building’s wall, the mimic felt his eyelids droop, his last wistful thoughts wondering about the crew that he had just left behind...

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3 (You are here)

Chapter 4 (Coming)

#MoP&D #chasing phantoms #Chapter 3 #Toothless #CanisLLLFamillion #JesterPlatoon #Phantom K. F.#Space Pirate Captain Harlock #Captain Harlock #fanfiction #galaxy railways #SDF #leijiverse

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littlelostbluejay · 5 years

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Dinner In The Wolf’s Den I/3

*This is already posted on my wattpad account*

Part 1 2 3

Oneshot summary: Lucas is on his way home from the club with food on his mind, but it may be something out of the ordinary for Cristi to consider appetizing.

Rating: 18+ (Gets semi-explict at the end)

Scenery of the metropolitan city flew past the windows of his pickup truck, the gorgeous artificial lights that partially vanquishes the periodic presence of total darkness nightfall provides once the sun descends beyond a line where the skies and earth meets, paves a way for this unearthly inhabitant of an urban center as he drove on the road on his way home.

A while ago, Lucas departed from the energetic venue of a club he visits frequently, pleased by the execution of his performance where little error was found when he supplied his melodic skills into harmony with his live band. Since it was a Friday night in New York City, the establishment was packed with plentiful of people who mingled on the dance floor throughout the night, mainly ones whose visage appeared to belong in the middle age group where a few still held onto their groove they managed to keep since early youth, and many who seemed to fit the visual standards of above twenty-one years. But anyone below that age requirement was denied access into the building, unless there was family involved – the locale's sole purpose was to entertain a specific mature crowd, and the owner did a splendid job at upholding the old fashion décor of the interior that complemented the classic soulful vibe of RnB, Blues, Jazz, and Funky melodies where a few bands performs on stage every week from the amount of people who arrived.

Lucas blew the saxophone, or whom he'd affectionately address the brass instrument by name as his favored 'Dandelion', for about two hours since the beginning of their live performance at seven o clock that night, whilst his associate, a black man who go by a jazz nickname, Bebop, sang out a couple of songs to the lively audience. Lucas and Bebop were the only two singers in their group while the other band mates were only capable of fiddling with instruments, but whereas Bebops's abilities were only limited to singing, Lucas's talents were distinctive in comparison because he could play instruments and sing till his heart's content. And that's exactly what he did later on when Bebop switched spots with him after a short intermission passed, allows the 'Wolf' an opportunity to shine under the spotlight where he offered passionate howls into the mic.

The experience on the platform with the mic against his lips always incited a spike of adrenaline to course through his veins, and that integrated with the high energy which the crowd suffused in waves within the building he absorbed to fuel his stamina, he receives a sensational high off from exerting his vocal capabilities to their limit, putting on a show that keeps the extra cash flowing from people who comes every week. It was a strenuous activity that wasn't for the faint of heart but one he found pleasurable delight in, enjoyed it to the fullest that enabled him to give his all in each gig, and the thought of hitting the hay anytime soon was never considered.

One hand loosely griped the steering wheel, revolving it at a 90-degree angle as he rounded a corner, his head lightly bobbing to the stream of music from the radio on an RnB station as his vehicle neared close to his destination, and on occasion does his eyes take mild interest of the city lights and large buildings he drove by. His other hand hangs out the open window where fresh air blew across his face that offered a sense of fresh relief from the perspiration that lined his forehead. Singing always worked up quite a sweat from the amount of physical effort he put into it, and hunger was definitely a feeling he needed to satisfy after the end of every show. As late as it was, he assumed his wife would have dinner hot and ready for him once he got back home, as if food may redeem herself for not accompanying him, she usually prepared a delicious meal for him if she wasn't going to one of his gigs, not that he didn't complain because she was such a huge supporter to his craft. But Lucas knew huge crowds wasn't her type of scene, but he, nonetheless, appreciated her efforts when she attended his gigs with him.

Once he gently hit the brakes to a complete stop at a red light, he dug his hand into his pants pocket to pull out his cell phone, the pad of his thumb lightly tapping against the screen before he held it to his ear. His fingers drums on the wheel to the beat of the music as the dial rung a few times before the person picks up.

"Hi, honey." A soft note carries over from the other line, gently caresses his ear as the music fades away in the background.

The corner of Lucas's mouth quirks at the sound his wife's voice. "Aye puppy, I'm on my way home, should be there in about -" he pauses to quickly glance at the time, "- I'd say fifteen minutes tops depending on traffic, but it's goin' along smoothly soo far."

"Alright, I'll jus be waiting here doing whatever." He heard her give a tired sigh. "How was the show tonight though? Did a lot of people come?"

"Oh yea, me an the cats blew up the joint. It was the same ole same ole like every week, people throwin' a lot of their bread at us ta pick up off the ground, y'know how it is baybeh, enough for us ta paint this town." He responds in terms considered old-fashioned, outdated for this modern time period he now lived in, unless you were a true bred jazz musician.

"That's good baby, and jus so you'll know I took Butterscotch out on a walk a little earlier." His eyebrows furrowed at this piece of intel she shared with him.

"How early we talkin?"

There was a short pause on the other end of the line before she replies. "Sometime around nine." His eyes roll and presses his foot down on the gas pedal that sets his truck into motion when the light transitioned to a green light.

"Cristi, y'know how I feel 'bout you walkin 'round alone at night, especially when I'm not home." Though he chides her on a soft timbre, hints of annoyance were evident in his voice as Lucas was quick to express his displeasure in her decision making. He was never too fond of her strolling about these streets at night even though she's been doing it for a long time. "Look, these horny dogs out here will snatch up a pretty young thang like you one day then I'll have ta go out and sniff ya out, lookin' ta draw some unfortunate fool's blood for messin' with my lady."

"I know but... I was bored and she was restless so I jus took her out to drain her energy, plus she needed to pee anyway." He heard shuffling on her end. "Are you upset with me?"

Between full lips does he issue a drawled-out sigh at the slight fear in her voice. "Naw, I wouldn't get mad over somethin' lil like that. I'm jus being paranoid for good reason since I literally jus made you my mate, an I emphasize the word 'Mate'. It would kill me if somethin' bad happened to you, ya dig wha' I'm sayin, baby?" Cristi wasn't necessarily great at rejecting a stranger's advances who showed interest in her, which made her an easy target for males to take advantage of her due to her lack of self-confidence, and this insight about her worried him sometimes. She was too...nice. "Aye, at least you were honest with me... I appreciate that." But one thing Lucas loved about her was her veracity, she didn't have to share certain things with him but she did.

"Yea, I'm sorry though."

"Hey, this isn't somethin' ta trip over with an apology, it's pass us now, jus watch yer tail when ya go out, a'write? I know my Butterscotch will protect you, that pup packs quite a powerful bite." He licks his lips and decides to flip the subject. "I'm 'bout to let ya go, love, I'll be pullin' up in a few minutes...jus wanted ta see how ma baybeh was doin."

He listens to her chuckle over the phone. "Ahahaha you're so sweet, honey...I got dinner ready for you by the way."

At the mere mention of food, his stomach gurgles, and couldn't help but grin to himself. "Good lawd, that's music to my ears ya have no idea! I'm soo hungry I could devour a whole buffalo in one single bite, no wait, a whole buffalo an a side of beaver tail as an appetizer with a tubful full of rain water ta wash all that shit down." They both share a laugh as Lucas seemingly goes back to his wild roots when the woods were the only home he ever knew. "Now tha' I think about it, why do they call tha' dish Buffalo Wings? Those are chicken wings, buffalo don't have wings, chicken and buffalo have no correlation to the other whatsoever...I mean, I know it was first created in Buffalo, New York in the 1960's but ya get the idea." He rambled on.

"You're soo crazy."

"Yea?" a small upturn of his lips bears a thoughtful grin as he literally sees her shaking her head at him, "but ya the one crazy for gettin' with a wild man like me dawlin', makin me feel special gurl cause ya chose a dire wolf instead of gettin' with a human, y'know what's up." He teases her lightly. "But listen, one of these days we gonna head up north an I'm gonna cook up somethangs for ya ta try out, taste some high-quality meat I use ta feed on without all em hormones an steroids an shit that America is known for."

"Ohhh! I would love that! We need to talk more about planning a trip soon!" She said with excitement at the very thought of a road trip.

"Yea we will, I got you baby; I got sum wild adventures in store for us so ya can experience a part of my natural world. But I'm 'bout ta go now, love... I'd rather speak ta ya in person so I can see ya beautiful face an talk at the same time."

"Okay, um I'll see you till then, Luke. Bye, love you."

"Love you... see ya in a few, babe." He waits for the click on the receiving end before ending the call, tossing his phone onto the passenger seat as black eyes fixates on the road that led straight towards home.

Lucas pulled up on the curve and shifts his gear into park after he managed to find a space for his automobile outside his building. He stared upward at the grey ceiling of his truck, the back of his head resting against the headrest, not yet ready to exit out the car door as he mulls over his thoughts that suddenly aroused confliction within himself.

During the time on his way home once he got off the phone, an intense desire for something growled in the pit of his stomach – there was no doubt he was hungry, yes, and he anticipated what his wife had in store for him upstairs, but the issue lies in craving raw flesh... fresh, untainted blood actively pumping through the veins of a live creature that was born in the bosom of nature. It was an instinctive pulse of hunger that proved difficult to quell when such desires, brought on by the spirit of his inner wolf, overwhelmed his sense of reasoning and intellectual perception he sought hard to exercise while in the company of humans. Lucas can endure through cravings for a taste of blood for a while until the wolf got what it wanted, what he wanted, what 'Lusio' wanted, no matter how much amount of effort he applied in restraining carnivorous beastly urges that was a part of his nature.

But it seems like tonight would be one of those occurrences the wolf indulges in one of its many animalistic covets for a short while.

And with this impulsive idea in mind as he sighs in defeat, a grunt left his lips when he leans over to open the small compartment and grabs one of the plastic bags he stored inside for situations like this. Lucas leaves the vehicle before sweeping his hands down his white dress shirt to rid of any wrinkles, deciding to keep his saxophone case and suit jacket inside until he finishes his little hunt. Dark eyes like starry nights above scans his surroundings first, takes note that despite being close to twelve am, how the night was still alive where cars headlights lit up the streets, utilizes his keen hearing abilities for any voices nearby that'll keep him alert in case someone happens to stumble upon him unexpectedly. Someone could always be watching, he had no room for mistakes - to be extra cautious of his environment while living in the city was a necessity to preserve his secret.

Lucas stands tall as he directs his nose upward to the sky for the breeze to drift up his nostrils, sniffs the air in concentration where a multitude of different scents he can distinguish one from the other filling his powerful lungs with each strong swift inhale, and immediately, he catches a fine scent of a furry critter three blocks down from him. It was one of his favorites. Wolfish characteristics emerges in a subtle manner when his tongue laps over his plump lips, licking his chops as saliva accumulated in his mouth at the thought of eating it as a second dinner later that night. He turns on his heel before feet picks up a brisk gait along the sidewalk, heads off in the direction where the scent left a trail in the wind for him to follow.

Lucas twists the doorknob to the entrance of his apartment, the hinge issuing a light squeaking sound as he opened it all the way before crossing through the threshold towards the living room. "Honey, I'm home!" In a loud voice Lucas announces his presence to the inhabitants of his abode, his nose being met with the relaxing scent of burning incense that a while ago had dispersed into the air blended with the delicious aroma of onions and garlic that also integrated itself into the mix.

Upon his annunciation as he shut the door close, Butterscotch lifted her head from between her white paws in interest at her owner's arrival, the adult Pitbull eyes closing when he pets her head in a greeting fashion with a smile before his hand moves down to the little brown bunny, BunBun, to stroke her tiny head in the same manner who laid snuggled up next to the canine inside the dog bed. They had a few pets to care for, a dog, rabbit, and a bird who was now probably asleep since her cage was currently covered by a thin sheet. Lucas also have a raven as a companion who is usually close by somewhere outside.

Lucas props his instrument against the wall next to his piano keyboard, placing his car keys on a side table and tossing his suit jacket onto the sofa. He peeks down into the plastic bag where he stuffed a dead animal inside a while ago, a possum whose fate made an unfortunate turn in its short life when it was caught between Lucas's jaws, and he couldn't wait to eat the creature as a snack. The plastic crumples when he closes the bag, his fingers hooking around the handle as he walks into the kitchen before he stops in his tracks under the archway. His pupils dilate as they grow enamored where they took in the lovely sight of his beautiful wife in front of the stove with a plate in hand as she busily fills it with food. "I'm home, baybeh." He repeats from his position in the doorway, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth as obsidian eyes make an eager rove about her nightwear, mainly consist of a white tank top and low-rise black lace panties, its sheer intricate flower design elegantly hugging the round shape of her backside, barely covers her toned butt cheeks - she earned from squats - left on display in his view for him to admire when he so pleased.

Damn was he a blessed man that mother nature molded her just for him as a gift; he wished he could thank her parents for making an exquisite woman, god bless their souls. Lucas might be a dire wolf, but he still possessed a male mindset who was amorously affected by the physical appearance of a curvaceous woman like any other common man. Only his mate, however, held this type of power over him.

"Yeah, I heard..." she glances over her shoulder, meeting his eyes that grazed over her figure without no hint of embarrassment that she caught him in the act of staring. But she becomes bashful by the way those obsidian eyes observe her with a carnal aspect within his gaze upon what's rightfully his, and such intensity and focus never fails to make her shy away from his lustful stare. "...Sounding like one of those husbands who just got home on tv when shows were still black & white without color." Cristi conceals her timidity with a tease about his use of old phrases, a small smirk on her lips as she turns her attention back to preparing the plate.

Her comment blinked him out of the enchantment she casts upon him, in which a chuckle bubbles up his throat as he then quickly walked over to the refrigerator before rearranging items on the lowest shelf within to make room for the corpse he shoved into the back of the fridge, hiding it before she could notice. "Yea, well, don' think ya realize it yet, sweetheart, but I was actually born in the 1920's, so that black & white time is still a part of me. Can't shake my fur of it y'know?" Lucas shuts the fridge with a soft thud, and after he takes a moment to ogle her behind once more, he approaches her from behind and presses his front against her back, his muscular arms circling around her waist in a warm embrace. Her body relaxes into his hold as he lowers his head to sniff her tresses - they were separated in twists as part of her natural hair care regimen, the sweet scent of vanilla lavender imbedded between each coiled strand, and his eyes flutter shut as he emits a deep hum at the pleasant scent of her hair. He snoops down over her shoulder at the meal she prepared for dinner. "Well somethin' smells good and looks tasty too." His remark held praise as he examines the scrumptious view of pork-chops with a contribution of fresh, sliced mushrooms added to the recipe, green beans and mashed potatoes in their own separate pots as side dishes, but once his gaze falls on her platter, his eyes widen at how much food she was still pilling on it. "Damn, you gonna eat all'a that baby gurl?"

The ridiculous question makes her grant a breathy scoff in amusement. "Y'know I can't eat all this. This is for you, baby, I don't got a bottomless stomach like you do." She answers in a matter a fact tone that ends in a small laugh, turning her head at an angle to peer up at him before her eyes closes briefly when she felt his soft lips plant a kiss between her eyes.

"There was no need ta make my plate, love. The least I could do was make my own since ya took the time to make dinner for us." His hands rose up in front of her, abruptly catches her off guard as he lifts the plate full of food out of her hands and up over her head with ease due to his height, and sets the dish on the kitchen table before grabbing a clean plate from the dish rack. "Go sit down an rest while I return the favor by makin' yer plate then since ya made mine." It was a gentle command he imposed upon her, but a layer of dominance laid flat beneath the words he uttered.

Lucas appreciated her need to cater to him anyway she was able, but there were times he thought many of the things she did for him was unnecessary, believes that he, instead, should do everything for the both of them as the alpha of the household because the well-known trait expected of an excellent alpha was they took care of the needs of their family pack. But it should be mentioned that another reason stems from the fact that he was used to independence. For decades, Lucas did everything on his own without much help from anybody, he wasn't accustomed to anyone caring for him the way Cristi had; the last person he could think of that gave a semblance of this much love and attention was his wolf mother, although this particular scenario was obviously different because romantic feelings are involved. Nonetheless, he was grateful for the love Cristi has shown in her own special ways, sometimes even when he tells her not to. But it was the thought that counts.

"You're not tired, Luke?" The question fell softly from parted lips as she peers up at him with big doe-eyes that held a pinch of concern, ignores his command for a moment due to being curious about his well-being because he was gone for most of the day; she wasn't sure if he ever had the chance to really rest earlier while he was out and about.

One eye squints while his mouth twists to the side as he thought over her query, only to offer a casual shrug of his shoulders before his free hand gently pushed her aside from blocking the stove. "I'm a'ight, jus a lil bit but it's nothin' ta be concerned about, pumpkin. But y'know me, I don' tire out that easily so don' worry y'self." He assays to soothe Cristi's sensitivity over his welfare, not wanting her to concern herself with his health – he could empathize somewhat with her anxious thoughts because he was a busy man, he did a lot for the both of them. But his assurance proved little to tranquilize her worries for out of the corner of his eye he notices she still stood next to him, so as a motivator to help her listen, he sent a wide-open slap against her butt, startling her with a surprised yelp at the stinging sensation of his strike on her behind. "Go on baybeh get! I got you, stop all tha' worryin' an let me fix my lady's plate." Although he attempted to sound serious, there was laughter hinted in his tone, onyx eyes full of mischief and wanton desire as they followed the hypnotizing motion of her ass bouncing between each hurried step, his wet tongue running across his bottom lip as he watched her rush to the table and sit down like a good girl.

Submissive tendencies of her character were influenced by her upbringing in her youth where obedience was essential to the unfair circumstances she had no control over, which made her easily inclined to act on what Lucas asked of her in general, even the smallest things, for the most part. And as for Lucas, well, he enjoyed the power and sense of authority he had over her to a certain degree, it demonstrated something akin to a predator and prey dynamic between them, especially in the bedroom. But despite his knowledge of her past, he never once exploited her docile characteristics for his own selfish gain, rather, all of what he told her to do was always for her own benefit and interest.

From a short distance away, Cristi chews on her inner cheek in silence while observing him as he gathers food on her plate, brown hues inspecting his attire with his back turned towards her. Lucas looked devilishly handsome in a white dress shirt, the hem tucked inside his beige colored slacks that deliciously fitted around the curve of his firm round buttocks, ones she likes to pinch between her fingers in passing, and what complemented the entire getup was black suspenders he wore that forms a 'X' from behind. Chris didn't know many men in his age group who wore suspenders on occasion as Lucas did, the accessory was part of his old soul, debonair fashion sense which she thought gave a spiffy touch to his appearance, and in her opinion, made him look more masculine and attractive than most guys she's seen – definitely daddy material in her book. And a sense of voyeurism takes hold over her conscious when she embeds her top teeth into her bottom lip, her eyes traveling back and forth from his broad shoulders, down to his nice ass and shoulders repeatedly as she imagines his body on top of hers in bed.

"So," she sighs quietly, body leans forward in her seat before a forearm rests atop the other on the table, exhales slow through her nose to try to calm her nerves that laps at her sudden fire of desire for him, "did anything interesting happen at the club today?" Chris liked asking him what goes on about at the club when she couldn't accompany him, the stories he told were always amusing, there was rarely a dull moment among that wild crowded space he loved soo much.

He cocks his head to the left. "Hmmm nothin' really," was his immediate response as he scooped some green beans onto her plate, "oh wait!" his eyes widen when something in his recollections kicks in, and glances over his shoulder at her, "some woman did sum outta pocket shit by throwin' their god forsaken panties on stage durin' my performance! Wild right?!"

"WHAT?!" In disbelief does she burst out laughing, a hand swiftly raising to muffle her mouth to quell down her giggles, not at all expecting him to say that. "Lucas, you're telling me a random person just threw their underwear on stage outta nowhere?!"

A hearty chuckle rumbled his chest with amusement at her reaction before his attention is brought back to the stove in front of him. "I ain't being a card right now, babe. I mean...I didn't know who in the crowd did it but I swore on my life I heard someone amongst the music scream: Oh Wolf ya sang my panties off!" The last portion of his sentence is where he, to the best of his ability, attempts to mimic the woman's voice in a girly tone, which only made Chris's stomach shake with laughter even more as Lucas joined in with her mirth as well.

Her plate now finished, he grabs a few utensils from a drawer before positioning her food on the table along with the silverware, hunching over enough for Chris to take a chance to show her gratitude by kissing the side of his jaw. "Thank you, honey." And he returns the affectionate gesture when he pressed his lips against her cheek, smiling into the side of her face.

"Anything for my queen." He spoke in a mumble where he addresses his fond regard for her before he sat in his seat beside her around the table's corner. His toned forearms were made visible as he rolls the long sleeves of his shirt up till they stop just above his elbows, and immediately, felt one of her legs brush against his underneath the table, moving it between his longer limbs.

"Did you pick them up?" She asks as she scoops up a spoonful of the white potato glob into her mouth.

"What? Them undergarments? Heh, hell to the no." Lucas expounds with a slight grin on his face, knife and fork in both hands as he began slicing his meat with them. "I ain't gonna shorten my lifespan by getting infected with whatevah diseases tha' broad might have swimming up in her pussy." He pauses to take a big bite out of the pork, chewing on the grub while chattering away. "I'm sure if I touched em knickers, the next thing I know I'll be breakin' out in hives an get diagnosed with AIDS or somethin'. They were white an the shit looked dingy anyways, so I let the janitor do me a favor by picking that trash up."

His words prompt a nasal snort through her nose with a shake her head from side to side, head remains low, eyes on her meal as she stuck her spoon into her mouth where a faint smile graced her lips that conveys amusement at her husband's foolishness. "Wooow, that is the funniest thing I heard this week." Chris knew he wouldn't ever think to pick up someone's unclean underwear, but it was fun to at least hear what he would say because she figured she'd get a good laugh out of it.

"Yea?" He arches a thick brow while his tongue wipes across his top row of white teeth to get rid of any remnants of food trapped between them, and the corner of his lips curves ever so slightly. "I gotta few other tales tha's bound ta bring a smile to tha' face, dawlin'." He reaches a hand towards her, caresses the smooth surface of her cheek with the back of his finger that called forth a blush to rise upon her features beneath his stare; it always made him feel good when he could make her laugh, it made him keenly mindful of where her state of mind laid in regards to their relationship - if she was happy, he was happy too.

They went without exchangeable words for a few seconds while dining. Chris consumed small bites, was hardly done with her food in contrast to Lucas who was in the process of gobbling everything down like he hadn't an ounce of sustenance all day. He licked his lips as he looked at what remained left on his platter, which composed of some green beans. Carnivorous instincts were bred into his psyche and it made no surprise that Lucas preferred meat more so than vegetables, but whatever dish Chris prepared for them, veggies or not, it would be disrespectful to not eat what she cooked. "This was a good meal, love." He issued words of praise that exhibits his satisfaction to her cooking skills, his fork pricking the last bit of greens before placing them in his mouth. "Thanks for makin' it an for fixin' my plate."

She gave a slow nod that was accompanied by a closed, modest smile. "Yeah," she shrugs a shoulder as if her accomplishment wasn't nothing, but nonetheless content that he expressed his pleasure in what she cooked, "I tried my best to remember your recipe so..." She said in reference to the garlic butter pork-chops she made by following his special recipe.

"And succeeded." Underneath the table his long legs stretch out far as he reclines back in his seat, muscles seemingly relax where he slouches, eyelids droop half-way as he observes her eat at a slow pace with a warm grin set on his full lips. "This old wolf will make a fine chef outta ya yet, jus ya watch."

"Riight." Her eyes roll in a playful manner as she starts cutting her pork-chop with her knife, a thought crossing her mind from earlier when he first arrived home. "What did you bring home earlier?"

The simple question that falls forth out her mouth causes a rapid blinking of his eyes, feels his heart skip a beat in unspoken surprise as muscles in his shoulders once loose of stress now grew tense from the image that sprang in his mind's eye. The animal carcass he hived away in the back of the fridge! And caught in the moment before he could fully process his thoughts, he decides to resort to playing dumb. "What?"

She swallows her food before speaking again. "Y'know, in that bag you brought with you. You took more than fifteen minutes to come back home, remember?" Cristi utilizes her excellent memory to explain, but she was unaware of where he put it because she was busy over the stove. "Did you pick something up at the store on the way back?"

He lifts a hand for long fingers to rub the shaven surface of his jaw, the cool texture of a few rings that adorns his digits rubbing against his skin, his mouth slightly ajar as his tongue clicks inside his mouth while thoughts race to conjure a plausible statement that wouldn't disclose his secret. "Yeah, uh, I did." His voice titters on the edge of nervousness as he bounces his leg, a characteristic unusual for anybody to witness in the limits of his personality that often demonstrated confidence and sureness of self. "But it's nothin you'll be interested in, jus sum protein for ya man ta be big an strong ta fight off em dirty dogs that be tryin' ta sniff ya tail, y'know how it is, baybeh..." It wasn't a whole lie because meat, no matter if cooked or raw, was still protein in his book. But it was near impossible to slip a lie around his mate; he hoped her empathetic ability to detect untruthful words wasn't operating at this time. He didn't realize she even noticed of the bag.

Lucas never spoke an utterance to her about his vile cravings. Cristi was incognizant of Lucas sneaking dead animals into their apartment at night and feeding on them uncooked, raw chunks of flesh that included the bones as well, and although he's certain she should reckon such wretched behavior to be expectant of his species, he couldn't bring himself to express this part of himself to her in fear of being judged, labeled as disgusting and possibly a savage. But after every feeding he prioritized a sufficient extreme cleansing of his face and mouth to rid of germs and bacteria whereas is not harmful to him, but may be harmful to her body, which was the least he could do.

And to his utter relief, she didn't think too much of his response. "Oh, okay then."

"Wha' about you, Cristi?" He tilts his head to the left, brushes his leg against hers as he straightens his spine before leaning forward in his seat, and quickly switches topics from (the bag) him to her because he never got the chance to ask about how her day went. "Did the city treat my baybeh alright?"

They're conversation proceeds with Chris speaking of events that transpired from the day before: her job at the New York Public Library and what she did at home, which involved working on a new personal artistic piece while he was at the club. Lucas been finished with his plate, but he wanted to talk while waiting for her to finish the remains of her food. The private times they ate together, breakfast, lunch and dinner, were filled with discussions where they checked on the other, exchanged plans, and shared their personal projects outside the house, anything that passes their minds were brought up at the table.

With now a full stomach, a low hum resonates up her throat in contentment once she sets her silverware down and leans back in her chair as she releases a yawn, signifies she was finished with her meal for the night. Lucas grabs their empty plates, and after shoving the scraps in the trash, he walks over to the sink to busy his hands by washing the debris off the platters down the drain. Chris wasn't the only one who kept their apartment clean; Lucas contributed his services in the housework every so often to lessen the burden on her, despite him being a little messy and disorganized with his own things, but who's to say her wolf bae didn't try?

As he occupied himself with washing the dishware, Chris exited the kitchen, stifling a giggle as she ambled close to Butterscotch and Bunbun who both appeared to have fallen asleep in the dog bed; the canine and bunny looked adorable snuggled up together, she trusted the pibble to not harm her brown mini rex rabbit whom was in her care for years sometime after she got this apartment. Bunbun, along with Sapphire, were her first sense of companionship before she eventually, as shy as she was, developed friendships with some people. But her pets were the first friends she ever had, and she loves them dearly.

"C'mon sweetie." She whispers gently as her hands wraps around the furry little critter, in the process rouses Bunbun awake as Chris holds her in her arms while fingers thread themselves between her incredibly soft fur as she strokes her. She sat on her knees to put Bunbun in her cage, grabs a handful of hay which the bunny begins munching on as soon as she placed it inside for her to eat. Chris stood to her feet, turning around to see Lucas staring at her from his spot in the entrance of the kitchen who had his thumbs hooked under his suspenders with his gaze fixated on her.

"I'm bout ta go hop in the shower." Within his voice breathes a low, smoky aftertaste that saturates the timbre he speaks, and from where she stands in the darkness of the living room, notices how the color of his irises switches from its normal inky pigmentation to that of a cryptic yellow, bright orbs you'll only encounter flickering amongst the abundant foliage of the woods where nocturnal creatures dwell in the desolate company of creeping shadows by nightfall. His next sentence drops an invitation of sorts as he takes one step forward, eyes half-lid that held a simmering calm smolder for the young women who stands in his line of vision. "Ya mind joining me, sugah plum? I'll make it worth yer while."

The gleam of his eyes, however gentle they reflected back onto her person, sent a cold chill that spilled down the length of her spine. Yes, Lucas was her husband whom she loved with all her heart, but Cristi could never determine whether to be frightened or turned on by him, it was complicated; she summarized the perspective of these feelings towards him were a mixture of both: arousal and intimidation that his unearthly essence set her mind on edge. Nonetheless, it gave her a certain type of thrill considered dangerous that she's unable to express in words, like she was sticking her hand in the mouth of a wolf, all the while, foolishly places her trust in its predatory jaws to not chomp down on her.

And although she felt this way from time to time, his suggestive words produce a pool of wetness to leak onto the material of her panties from between her folds, envisions on the mental screen in her imagination of themselves engaged in the sexual acts of lovemaking beneath the streaming showerhead. The bathtub was a common place where they had sex and she didn't doubt it was something he had on his mind at this very moment, but if she was to be honest, she was tired, unsure if her body possess the vigor that such an activity demands to keep up with him. "You seriously have energy for 'that' right now?"

From the depths of his chest brings forth the arrival of a deep, sexy chuckle at her remark, recognizes the low intensity and huskiness of each breath as his gaze descends to concentrate on unbuckling his suspenders, and tosses the straps onto the leather couch before swaggering forward to meet her half way as she walks up to him. The crinkle about his mouth present a sly grin as an arm sneaks around her waist while his left hand dips behind her where he grabs a handful of her ass, her breasts smushing against his ribs as he then pulls her against the front of his body. "Dawlin', one thang ya need ta know about me is I'm never too tired for a good solid fuck." His voice pours into her ear canal like fine red wine, the soft, velvet fluidity that saturates his timbre causing her body to flood with spicy warmth, and she peers up into Lucas's haunting eyes where a mystical glow inhabits them, somehow finds the strength to suppress a moan at the feel of his warm breath that breezes over the expanse of her face as words continues rolling off his tongue. "But if yer tired, I have no problem doin' all the dirty work for you...all lil mama gotta do is back that ass up on daddy an ya get a ride for free." She watches his tongue peek out to lick the side of his upper lip, feeling his hand dip into the tight space of her lace black underwear from behind. "It's fairly easy...anyone can do it baby..."

Her breath hitches as she averts her gaze for a second, top teeth gently nibbling on the plush mound of her bottom lip as she considers his tempting offer while staring at the middle of his dark chest where his dress shirt was unbuttoned, eyes focuses on a round jewel that hangs from his necklace. "I am sleepy b-but..." she swallows a thick lump in her throat at the sudden feeling of his clothed member that teasingly presses on her lower stomach, results in a larger pool of her juices to gush involuntary between her legs as her words trail off course.

It didn't take much for Lucas to awaken the sexual prowess hidden within the depths of her shy nature, and her temperature was steadily rising as his palm rounded the curve of her backside, his fingers inches away from her slit that drips with burning desire for the feel of him inside her.

"Look at me, sweetheart." On a calm note he utters a gentle command, all the while, raises his hand from her waist to grip the twists of her hair, compels the release of a soft moan when her jaw falls open as her neck cranes so she may be forced to look up at him, doesn't give her an option in the matter at all. And as she stares at him, discovers his canines had extended their length on the verge of surpassing the line of his lips. In the dark room, her vision was slow to adjust to the low light, but his eyes swirls with evidential lust that appears to intensify their radiance as he held strong eye contact with her submissive brown orbs, his handsome visage dangling on both borders of man and beast as the top of his ears develop a pointy edge. But his level of sex appeal had amplified significantly with a dash of fear his countenance now officially displays, solely exclusive for her to behold.

"Yo body tells me otherwise cause tha' sweet pussy of yours smells wide awake an ready ta play, mama." With the aid of his keen sense of smell that grants him intel of her state of mind, Lucas utilizes this secretive knowledge about her sexual awakening by means of the feminine scent her womanhood diffuses into the air to his advantage. But in the way his fingertips easily slicks between the slippery smoothness of her juicy folds, forces her eyes to squeeze shut as a quiet moan crawls up her throat, tells him much. And with her neck now exposed to him, a gasp escapes her when she feels his mouth assault her neck, his soft lips sucking hard on her sensitive skin. Cristi embeds her teeth between her lower lip as she felt him tightly tug at her hair follicles that jerks her head back even more.

His thick wet muscle leaves streaks of sloppy saliva within the crook of her neck, switching the motions of his full lips between sucking and lapping over honey flavored areas the most erogenous he anticipates would get her heart pumping with lustful excitement. "Uhng L-lu..." Wrinkles emerge on the back of his shirt where her hands clutch the white cloth, expels out puffs of air from parted lips as her thighs squeezes together while he orbits a sturdy finger around the entrance of her womanhood in a teasing manner, pulling her small body flush against him that space between them was nonexistent.

"What ya doin' wearin' these tight ass panties gurl?" Hot air breathes onto her neck that became moist by the dampness of his hungry mouth, drags his bottom lip agonizingly slow up along her neck, and she shudders as his plump lips lightly brush against the shell of her ear where he murmurs in a sultry whisper. "Watchin tha' fat ass bouncing as ya walk all over the place. It's like ya wanted yo pussy ta get this dick wet tonight, was tha' yer plan baby?" His words, as well as his breath that induces ripples of goosebumps to run across the skin of her arms as it tickles her ear, sends a fresh wave of heat to course throughout her body as her heartbeat escalates to new heights.

"I-I jus..." Cristi stutters as the small pain where the sharp point of his lower and top fangs gives a tiny pinch at the lobe of her ear, and gently pulls it as his throat emits a low hum before slithering his tongue over the soft flesh. Lucas wasn't even deep in her guts yet and already she struggles to form a complete sentence. Her body was ultra sensitive to his touch. "I j-just wanted to b-be comfortable." She confesses, although within her subconscious foresaw this encounter of a possibility to happen.

"Hmmm...is tha' so..." He only hums in response as his hips push hard against her stomach, his manhood steadily making its presence known she can feel as his member prods her repeatedly when he starts dry humping her. "Not gonna lie that these look sexy as fuck on you," he removes his fingers from her heat, prompts her to whine from the lost contact of his finger that now gently tugs at the lace helm of her undergarment. And his eyes fall shut as he shifts the position of his head to rub his face over her own, breathes heavy through his nostrils as his face nuzzles cheek to cheek against hers as the affectionate maneuver forces her head to shift in whichever direction he moves - a lovesome gesture often seen amongst animals that demonstrates their love for the other, "but my dick wanna get comfortable inside yer walls. I'm sure ya pussy can handle it with all that nectar drippin' as water from the shower drenches our bodies, hot steam rising around us, yea?" He incorporates lascivious imagery in his words that implies the events that will take place in a few minutes from now, exercises his skills of storytelling to paint a picture in her mind, brings forth energy of pure lust for him.

"Can ya see it?" Glowing yellow eyes peeks at her through his lashes when his eyelids pry open, releases his grip on her hair before sliding the same hand down to rest on her upper back with a little pressure applied.

"Mmm Wolf yes..."

"Do you taste the water slidin' down my chest, baybeh? Ya like how I taste?"

"Y-ye -" Before Cristi could utter a word, Lucas catches her off guard when she feels the plush surface of his lips smothering her own, creates a wave of tingles to scatter across her body as his lips assaults her with an insatiable hunger for her flavor. His eyes squeeze tight, eyebrows furrowed as he moves his mouth against hers, their lips molding and conforming as they glide over the other, their loud moans filling the space as their heads shifts at different angles, and feels her small hands traveling up and down his back before they rest on his butt, her small palms squeezing a handful of his deliciously firm buttocks. Not that he didn't mind the gesture at all, but he couldn't repress his amusement as he smiles into the kiss when he felt her grope his glutes, and in response, he smacks her ass.

Lucas was an absolute master at this; he knew exactly, EXACTLY, what to say and how to say it to get Chris yearning with desire for him. And the fact that he was well endowed with a huge package, it was a requirement to ascertain she was soaking wet in order to accommodate him with as little pain as possible. His human mate was quiet and rather meek like a mother doe, but she transforms into a naughty vixen while in the heat of the moment who enjoyed being dominated by her one and only wolf.

His heart pounds against the cage of his ribs as their tongues dance in motion through an open mouth kiss, takes into consideration by offering proper care in the way – for the moment - his pointy fangs avoid piercing her tongue. She wraps her arms around his neck to pull him closer as Lucas turns them around, backing Cristi up as he guides her backwards in the direction of the bathroom without breaking their lips from each other. Once they get inside, his hand roughly pats the tile wall for the light switch, and though Cristi wishes for them to not part when the light brightens the bathroom, her lips grow cold from the lack of warmth of his mouth when he separates from her. But a slim line of saliva connects their lips as they split apart, the wet trail only breaking in two as he stands to his full height with a breathy huff, his hands on her waist as he takes a good look at her.

The urge to bite his lip is granted as Lucas analyzes the bouncy movement of her breast heaving up and down where she exhales heavy breaths of air, notices the outline of her thick nipples poking through the thin material of her tank top without the concealment of a bra, the lascivious sight sending a strong electric charge of arousal towards his dick that twitches visibly in his boxer briefs. Cristi, on the other hand, licks her lips while her eyes remained locked on the huge bulge protruding through the fabric of his pants. Lucas wasn't completely hard but even semi-flaccid he was packing tremendously; the thought made her clit throb with want and empty walls aching to be filled up by the thickness of his length she knew she can't ever handle, but that didn't stop his little mate from pining after his cock. She extends a curious hand towards his groin to feel him, but her motion is held on pause when he stops her by grabbing her wrist, causes her to stare up at him with subtle confusion as he holds her back, realizes his ears had shrunk to normal size and registers his eyes were now their regular midnight black.

"Ah ah ah, my dear, patience." Sharp fangs decorate the mischievous grin that settles in place on his full lips as Lucas waves a teasing finger in her face, and to her disbelief, she watches his left hand slowly slide down his torso till he reaches his crotch, and through thick lips he expels a sexy groan as he clutches his big member. His ringed fingers fondle the large mass of his juicy bulge and rubs his hand up and down before giving his palm a soft thrust of his hips - all this carried out while a smug, lopsided toothy smile laid stretched across his handsome face as he silently gauges her reaction to his lecherous gesticulations. "Ya like when I play with myself, baby?"

Obvious traces of lust and frustration were etched upon soft features where an overwhelming rise of heat blossoms within her cheeks, unmistakably flustered, hot and bothered as she observes him touch himself in front of her, making her gulp. "L-Lucas c'mon stop playin'." Cristi was beyond aroused, wide awake, and somewhat embarrassed of her own lewd actions, suddenly feel her panties become overly drenched with her fluids, so much so that her slimy wetness seeps through the cloth and smears between the skin of her inner thighs, the more she stares at the motions of his hand massaging his bulge. Lucas loves to take his time to give her a little tease and was, as she'll put it, extremely kinky.

Beneath the low hood of his dark eyes he examines her facial expressions, and with his right hand wrapped around her wrist, he leads her hand to touch his shirt where her palm lays flat on his torso, her fingers grazing the small buttons of his garb. "What I need ya to do is unbutton me first. Think ya can do that for me?"

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thecassielockhart · 6 years

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TASK 002

DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTER IN A FEW WORDS.

resilient ; selfless ; determined ; know-it-all ; charitable.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER THAT THEY DON’T KNOW YET?

the reason she truly believes could live without getting married and having kids is because she blames herself for her brother, Wesley’s, death and the fact that he’ll never get to have those things so she doesn’t feel like she deserves them.

WHAT ARE YOUR CHARACTER’S MAJOR FLAWS?

calista struggles with showing empathy toward other people. she’s in no way a cold or mean person, and she in no way see’s emotions as a weakness, she just doesn’t know the right way to show comfort because all of the major times in her life where she needed to be comforted she was met with either coldness or told to save it for later. so now as an adult, she’s just very logical over emotional.

WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER GIVE THEIR LIFE FOR?

family and her friends without a second thought about it.

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S GREATEST ASSET?

resilience.

WHAT WOULD COMPLETELY BREAK YOUR CHARACTER?

having to see another person that she loves die. she had to see it once if she had to relive that experience again she’d never recover from that.

HOW DOES THE IMAGE YOUR CHARACTER TRIES TO PROJECT DIFFER FROM THE IMAGE THEY ACTUALLY PROJECT?

she tries to project this light with this bright smile and jokes and never-ending encouragement, but what people tend to see her projecting is this never-ending overconfidence and a bit of a blunt, know-it-all who doesn’t know how to shut the fuck up.

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER AFRAID OF?

losing someone else she loves ; spiders ; heights ; clowns.

WHERE WOULD YOUR CHARACTER FALL ON A POLITENESS/RUDENESS SCALE?

she’s mostly kind of rude. she doesn’t mean to be, but if there’s not a purpose to someone’s presence she’s just mind-numbingly bored of them.

IF YOUR CHARACTER COULD CHOOSE A DIFFERENT IDENTITY, WHO WOULD THEY PICK?

poison ivy. ya know from batman.

IN WHAT OR WHOM IS YOUR CHARACTER’S GREATEST FAITH IN?

Cassie’s greatest faith is stored in Elijah Morris. He’s the one person in her life who has never lied to her, disappointed her, let her down or betrayed her and for that, his presence in her life is what she’s most grateful for.

WHAT WAS THE BEST THING IN YOUR CHARACTER’S LIFE?

her ability to cook. it’s how she copes when her emotions are overwhelmed, it’s how she expresses meaningful gestures of love and it’s how she comforts others.

WHAT WAS THE WORST THING IN YOUR CHARACTER’S LIFE?

her mental illness. her whole life Cassie’s delt with depression only made worse when it was coupled with her PTSD that she developed from her brother’s death and her kidnapping. she gets very severe social anxiety which in her line of work is not a good thing to have. it doesn’t make life easy.

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S BIGGEST NIGHTMARE?

watching her brother get shot. and the look on his face when he realized what had happened that’s forever burned in her mind.

WHAT SEEMINGLY INSIGNIFICANT MEMORIES STUCK WITH YOUR CHARACTER?

most can be put into the category of the small things that people do for her that she doesn’t have to ask for them to do. for example, calling her beautiful, completely unprompted, bringing her food if she’s working late, noticing when she’s hit her limit of social interaction and giving her space to take a moment to herself. Or movies she really loved.

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S SECRET WISH?

she doesn’t have one. wishes are a waste of time. Fol-de-rol and fiddle dee dee and fiddley faddley foddle all the wishes in the world are poppy cock and twoddle.

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?

figuring out how to fake human empathy in regards to people she really doesn’t care to even talk to. Becoming an Emmy Award winning actress when she was twenty-six.

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S DEEPEST REGRET?

the way she went about telling Duncan she wasn’t sure if wanted/didn’t want kids. She said some things she truly didn’t mean and that came out very hurtful and she just doesn’t think it’s something she can take back now.

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S DEEPEST DISAPPOINTMENT?

her relationship with her mother. she wishes it was different and that the woman actually did love her and was in her life, but she knows she never did and never will be and she’s forced herself to be okay with that after years and years of trying and never being good enough.

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER RELUCTANT TO TELL PEOPLE?

that she loves them. Cassie isn’t the most affectionate person or great at vocalizing her feelings. She’s very much an actions speak louder than words kind of person or an i’m gonna call you an idiot but with such adoration and affection that it means I love you. She’ll make any excuse not to admit she loves someone. There are only two people she’ll openly tell someone else how much she loves and cares for them and even that is a rarity in itself.

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER HIDING FROM THEMSELVES?

she wants to be close with her mother. that’s not a thing she will admit to anyone ever, not even herself.

WHAT MAKES THIS CHARACTER ANGRY? WHAT CALMS THEM?

Injustice, homophobia, mistreatment of someone she loves, are all things that make her blood boil that she absolutely will not stand for. She’s very much an I will defend anyone from this with my whole heart without hesitation type person. Very act first think later. Things that calm her are animals, mostly dogs, roller derby, kick boxing, dancing a good ice coffee and a kiss from someone special.

LIST SITUATIONS IN WHICH YOUR CHARACTER WOULD NOT HAVE CONTROL OVER THEMSELVES.

any situation where she’d not been in control would be orchestrated by other people.

HOW STRONG IS YOUR CHARACTER’S EMOTIONS? CONTROLLABLE? UNCONTROLLABLE?

her emotions are very strong, but she’s very in control about how she reacts to them and what she allows people to see. she has to be. she’s been groomed her entire life to be in the spotlight. it’s second-nature at this point.

WHAT WAKES YOUR CHARACTER UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?

The thought of losing someone she loves or over analyzing conversations she has, whether or not she’s ever going to be in love again with someone else.

DESCRIBE A RECURRING DREAM AND/OR NIGHTMARE.

laying down in the backseat of a car that someone else is driving, they’re speeding and drive off of the highway down a cliff.

DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTER’S FAMILY.

The Lockhart Family is a very hard bunch to navigate. Her parents were never the type of people who should have both been together to begin with and had kids. Neither of them were ready. They were teenagers when they started having kids and got married. They left a lot of the care for their children with Joseph’s parents and were pretty irresponsible teenagers. So their kids were raised mostly by nannies and put into show business from birth and were pretty much destined to be in the industry and screwed up but beyond all of that they’re all very stubborn, very competitive, very argumentative and straight forward and passionate. Having more than three in one location together is just begging for a disaster to happen.

NAME YOUR CHARACTER’S FAVOURITE PERSON AND WHY.

Duncan for sure is her favorite person. She met him at a time in her life where she was trying to really make a name for herself as a Chef and not just as two time Tony winner and Emmy award winning Calista Lockhart. He challenged her and he took time to know her on this intimate and deep level and then despite the fact that she can be rather bossy, stubborn and difficult he stayed and contributed to challenge her and opened up to her and made her really fall for him and understand him and he’s always gonna be that guy, who is not only her friend and someone she loves but someone she can be completely honest with and that’s very important to her. HeMs important to her.

HOW MANY FRIENDS DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Very few. It’s never been easy for her to make friends. She’s aware she’s a difficult person and not great when it comes to dealing with other people so there are very few people who she likes to spend time with. She’s got Eli and Matt who she ma been friends with since middle school. And then she’s got her Black Girl Magic crew here in Portland and a couple more celebrity friends who she chills with at events but that’s about it.

HOW MANY FRIENDS DOES YOUR CHARACTER WANT?

She’s fine with what she has. She likes the small group she’s comfortable with. She’s never been the I wanna be surrounded by people type so this is perfect for her.

HOW WOULD A FRIEND OR CLOSE RELATIVE DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTER?

Very type A, needs things to be a certain way for her to be comfortable. Despite being a little neurotic she’s very charming and fun with the biggest heart, but the shortest span for listening to people bitch.

WHO DEPENDS ON YOUR CHARACTER? WHY?

Her dogs depend on her. The people who are supported by her charities depend on her, Eli and Matt depend on her that’s about it.

WHO DOES YOUR CHARACTER MOST WANT TO PLEASE? WHY?

She wants more than anything her mother to be proud of her. Seems aware it’s never going to happen, but she still wants it deep down inside.

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT SEX?

She’s great about other people sleeping around, if that’s what they choose to do, if that’s the fun they want to have great go for it, but it’s not who she is. Despite that she gave her virginity to a guy who at the time she barely knew what his name was, she looks at sex as something to be shared with someone she cares deeply about who she ma taken time out of her life to get to know and it took her just giving her virginity away to realize she didn’t want to just fuck people just to fuck she wanted it to mean something to her and now when she has sex it means something.

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS?

She hasn’t had too many of them to be honest. Cassie is a if I fall for you it’s gonna be hard and deep and you’re in my life forever whether it works out or not type person. That’s just how she is. If she’s taking time out of her life to be with someone they better be in it and committed or fuck them. She’s very pro romantic relationships but she’s also very selective.

IF YOUR CHARACTER HAD TO LIVE IN UTTER SECLUSION, WHAT SIX ITEMS WOULD THEY BRING?

A working Tv with cable, an Apple TV to hook up with that tv cause she needs Hulu and Netflix, Her cell phone, a comb, all in one shampoo & conditioner

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S MOST NOTICEABLE TRAIT AND MOST NOTICEABLE PHYSICAL FEATURE?

Her most notable trait is her sheer stubbornness and physical feature would be her smile.

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT WORK? WRITE ONE HEADCANON.

She feels very privileged and thank Gil to be doing all that she is doing. But it hasn’t always been that way. When she was a kid all she wanted to do was be normal and blend in and just be carefree and go to school and just run around , but now she thinks of it as yeah she missed a lot of things but she also go to do a lot of things other kids didn’t and she’s great full for that.

#portbaytask002 #about

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yossarian359 · 6 years

Text

2001: A Gay Oddity

Red flooded Lena’s face, “Oh, h-hey Cap,” her plans to wave hello to her superior were foiled as she remembered that her right hand was stuck far down Widowmaker’s pants. “Oh, bugger me.”

An odyssey of oddities as our two favourite lesbians discover all that's crazy in the universe as they jump between infinite realities.

All things considering, it was a pretty average day in the life of Lena Oxton. Got up, had a shower, had a wank, made breakfast, joined the team for a boring old payload mission. And—ah yes—soaked through and through, on top of a construction site in a lightning storm; having a life and death fight with her frenemy with benefits.

Perfectly normal. At least for now.

The sky lit up in a brilliant dash of lightning, followed moments later by the crashing of thunder all arounder her. Tracer landed flat on her back on the edge of a steel beam, winded. She stared up to where she was just thrown off. A figure; purple, blue, and slender dropped down, heeled metal boots landing firm on the beam jutting out into oblivion. Finally, a grin flashed on her face as she spoke.

“Looks like it’s over, isn’t it?” Her sultry voice downing out the rain falling around them.

“Oh, save it, love,” said Tracer, “Can we please just skip to the snogging today?”

Widowmaker groaned, “Let me enjoy my victory, chérie.”

Tracer rolled her eyes, smiling, “Fine, fine. When you’re ready.” She motioned for her to continue.

Snapping back into character, Widowmaker chuckled, smirking evilly. “Oh, mon petit chou, I’ve won, you’ve lost, and now,” she stepped forward, slinging her sniper rifle to her back, “I get to claim my reward.”

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you come and take me?” Tracer said through gritted her teeth.

“I would like nothing more,” Widowmaker hummed, “But first, I want to truly savour this moment having beaten you.” She swayed her hips as she leant forward, crossing her legs in what was most certainly a ballet pose. Lena had to consciously stop herself from rolling her eyes. I just had to go and fall in love with the queen of extra.

She continued, “You are the perfect fly wandering in my web. You know, ever since I was a little girl, I had a fear of spi—”

In the space of two blinks Tracer had reversed their positions and was straddling Widowmaker’s torso.

Widowmaker landed on her back with audible discomfort, “That’s hardly fair, chérie.” She grunted.

“First, that monologue was going somewhere cringy, love, and second,” Tracer leaned in, dangerously close to Widowmaker’s lips, “there are much better things you could be doing with your pretty mouth.”

“So impatient, mon coeur, ” her smile turned coy, “Is that all I am, just a pretty mouth?”

Tracer responded by crashing their lips together in a kiss that very quickly grew heated. “You’re too bloody sexy. It shouldn’t be legal,” she said when she pulled back.

Widowmaker laughed enjoying how easily flushed Tracer became. She also enjoyed the way that her hands wasted little time unzipping her catsuit and sliding down to trace the curve of her stomach. Falling, lower, lower.

Suddenly her eyes went wide. “Merde, Lena!” she said with abrupt desperation.

“Bit early for you to be screaming my name, love,” said Lena, confused.

“Lena, what are you doing?!”

She froze at the new voice entering the scene. Seeing Widowmaker’s horrified expression, she turned to where her girlfriend was looking and saw Ana Amari standing with her mouth open, stunned.

Red flooded Lena’s face, “Oh, h-hey Cap,” her plans to wave hello to her superior were foiled as she remembered that her right hand was stuck far down Widowmaker’s pants. “Oh, bugger me.”

Thankfully, the universe decided to save them from embarrassment as they were promptly struck by lightning and the world went white.

---

Widowmaker was the first to realise something was wrong.

“Something is wrong,” she said.

“Yeah,” Lena said slowly, “You’re upside down love.”

She looked up to see Widowmaker, upside down standing on a ceiling even though there wasn’t a ceiling. “Lena… What am I standing on?” she said, then gravity kicked in and she fell on Lena who was sitting on the floor even though there wasn’t a floor.

The sky decided to materialise in the form of dark grey rain clouds. A series of depressed grey buildings leaped up from the ground, did an appalling dance in the air, and landed lamely to from a sprawling suburb of mediocrity. In the distance someone was shouting expletives at a dog while several big plumes of smoke spilled into the unhappy sky.

“Bugger!” Lena shouted, eyes wide in horror . “We’re in Scunthorpe !” She spat the word as if it were the most vile place on earth (it was). “Also, I think we were just struck by lightning which means my chronal accelerator has been temporarily overcharged.” She looked down to see that the light in the centre of her accelerator was changing colours at an almost seizure inducing speed.

It started raining very heavily. Lena wiped a smidge off and stuck her finger in her mouth. Mmm, jam. “What does that mean?” asked Widowmaker.

“What, the jam?”

“No, petit idiote! ” Widowmaker exclaimed, wiping the jam from her face, “What happened to your accelerator; what does that mean for us?”

“Oh, right. That. Yes, well…” Lena grimaced, because one of the factories in the distance had come alive and decided to sing the entirety of the H.M.S. Pinafore in the voice of Dame Judi Dench. “Means were sorta stuck in the slipstream, and cause it’s overcharged it means that we’re ping ponging between infinite realities.”

“Okay.” Widowmaker’s eyes went distant.

“Hey, cheer up love, Winston will get us back in a jiffy! He did it last time this happened. All we gotta do is wait for a bit.”

Widowmaker narrowed her eyes at her. “You’ve been struck by lightning before? That’s impossible, even for you.”

“Not impossible,” Lena protested, “Just very, very improbable. Actually, it happened three times, the first time I fell into a power line.”

A smacking could be heard as Widowmaker brought her palm hard on her forehead. “Why am I not surprised.” Widowmaker then noticed something very odd about her girlfriend. “Lena…” She trailed off, swallowing thickly, “Why have you turned into a dog?”

“Wha-” she barked, and looked down to see four paws and a furry body. “Oh, for fuck sake!” she pouted. “Why does it always happen?”

Widowmaker resting-bitch-face finally broke as she laughed. “You’re so incredibly cute, ma chien.”

“Stop staring at me!” Lena whined, “It’s embarrassing.” A series of sad noises came from her snout. Widowmaker couldn’t resist taking her petite amie in her arms and stroking the back of her head between the ears till her hind leg started pounding in excitement.

“When I said I wanted to see you on a leash, chérie, this is not quite what I had in mind.” Widowmaker hummed.

“Shut up,” she panted, “Don’t you dare fucking stop that. Oh yes!”

Sadly, Lena’s fun was interrupted as the ground underneath them turned into a pit of multi-coloured balls.

Widowmaker was first to panic, shooting her grappling hook up into nothingness as she lost her footing in the endless ditch of balls. “Help!”

Lena on the other hand pranced quite easily out of the humiliating danger, enjoying the sight of the world's deadliest assassin struggle to find her footing in a four-foot ball-pit. “Lena, I’m drowning!”

“No, you’re not.” Lena woofed.

“Lena, could you help us resolve something?” a rather irritated voice croaked. It was Lucio, who was, quite unimaginatively, a frog in this universe.

“Sure thing Lucio, love the shirt by the way.” Lena barked and then followed the frog to the cafe in the middle of a shopping mall from 2022’s Estonia. They passed a purple iguana drinking a margarita (most likely Sombra) and stopped at a table where a rabbit the size of a minivan was waiting for them.

Lucio hopped up on the table and gestured to his much larger partner. “Watch this,” he clears his frog throat, “D.va, tell me again why you don’t love me.”

The bunny, who unimaginatively represents D.va in this universe, replied with a mouth full of Cheetos. “Because you’re crazy.”

“Why am I crazy?” he asked.

“Because you love me.”

“And why am I crazy for loving you.”

“Because I’m crazy.”

“So: you won’t love me because I’m crazy, I’m crazy because I love you, this makes me crazy because you’re crazy, therefore, you are crazy and think this.”

“Yup.”

Lucio turned to Lena who was now a fox. “You see the problem?”

The solitary gear turned slowly in her little fox head. “So, you won’t love him because you think he’s crazy.”

“Correct,” the rabbit replied between bites.

“And you think he’s crazy because he loves you,” Lena asked, pausing while waiting for the bunny to nod, “and that makes him crazy because you think you’re crazy, which means he’s loving someone crazy. But if he didn’t love you, that’d mean you’d love him because he would no longer be crazy and you would love him?”

“Yes,” D.Va replied, taking an excruciatingly long sip from a chocolate raspberry milkshake.

“But if he doesn’t love you,” Lena shouted, “Then that defeats the whole fucking point dunnit?, ‘Cause then you’d love him but he doesn’t love you!” Lena became so angry at this that she turned back into a human. “The fuck you on about, mate? You’re hurting my head.”

Widowmaker had finally caught up with the love of her life and greeted her by smacking the back of the head with her gauntlet.

“Ow!” Tracer yelped, “What the fuck was that for, gorgeous?”

“I will hurt your head so much more, you beautiful little shit!” Screamed Widowmaker who slammed Lena into a suffocatingly tight hug, “Do not leave me alone with balls ever again.”

When she withdrew, Lena saw coloured plastic balls stuck in Widowmaker’s hair, makeup smeared on her face, and her expression explaining how she just survived the apocalypse.

“Hey,” said Lena softly, “Don’t worry, love. Let’s get back home and I can ride your face, yeah? I know that always makes you feel better.”

Widowmaker hugged her again and made muffled happy content noises. The multiverse was kind this time and deposited them back in Lena’s London apartment, even going through the trouble to position them so that the smaller woman was straddling Widowmaker’s face.

“Ah,” Lena sighed, “Much better.”

“So, ma chérie,” Widowmaker brought her hands up to caress Lena’s hips, “You promised a little face-sitting adventure?”

Lena cursed herself for finding that statement far more seductive than it ever should have been. “You bet your pretty blue arse.”

The front door very suddenly came crashing down. “Oi!” came Lena’s voice from the otherside of the room, “The fuck you doin’ in my house?”

“Wha-?”

“You. Gay cunt. Off my bed.” Lena turned her head around to see Lena in the doorway. Only that she was dressed in wine red and black. The accelerator in her chest glowed an ominous dark orange which complimented the angry scowl on her face.

“Aren’t you me?” Lena asked offended, whilst removing her thighs from Widowmaker’s face. “That means you’re gay too, you edgelord wanker!”

As if on cue, the other Widowmaker, or Amélie in this case, walked in behind the angry small Lena and sat comfortably on a chair while crossing her legs. “She has you there, ma chérie.”

“Who are you?” asked Widowmaker to the woman who looked like her sitting on the chair like she owned the place.

“I’m you, but better,” she replied in a nonchalant manor. She wore a uniform reminiscent of the old overwatch, a blue hat that complimented her fair skin and dark hair.

“What are you doing here, lesser me? ” The edgelord Lena demanded.

“No idea,” said Lena indignantly, “Got struck by lightning and—”

“You got struck by lightning? Clumsy bitch.”

“Oi, you stupid lesbian hypocrite! Why are you here?”

“Hush, chéries,” Amélie soothed, “Let's not be antagonistic,” a playful smirk appeared on her face, “I have a feeling we can get up to all kinds of exciting fun, the four of us…”

“What are you saying?” said both Lenas in unison.

“I think,” started Widowmaker, still lying on the bed with a suggestive grin, “I’m beginning to like me.”

Another large crack in the sky interrupted their pleasantries as the clouds parted to reveal a large hand stretching out from the abyss. The laws of physics stretched and turned, paused, did a triple somersault and soliloquised a section from Othello before propelling the original Lena and Widowmaker upwards into the heavens.

They passed the thermosphere stupendously quickly before soaring out into a sea of stars.

Far above the moon, they saw Planet Earth was blue and there was nothing they could do.

Though I’m past one hundred thousand miles, I’m feeling very still. I thinks my spaceship knows which way to go.Tell my wife I love her very much, she kn—

“Lena, will you stop singing?” Widowmaker snatched the acoustic guitar from her hands, “We’re not even in a spaceship, and I’m not your wife!”

“Well, not yet.” she wiggled her eyebrows, earning her a glare from the Widowmaker. Lena rubbed the back of her head with a free hand as they passed Ceres in the asteroid belt, hurtling towards the orbit of Jupiter.

In the shadow of the gas giant they were abruptly stopped by an unknown entity.

The Galilean moons all halted in their orbit. Jupiter’s magnetic field fluctuated wildly, flinging away it’s smaller moons and rings clinging to the planet’s gravity well. The gas giant grew larger and larger before the eyes of the two women suspended in space.

Suddenly—with a dramatic crash of the orchestra playing Also Sprach Zarathustra somewhere offscreen—the mass amounts of hydrogen in its atmosphere lit up, ignited, and Jupiter became a star.

Light from the star refracted, bent, curved, and tried out on so many different shapes and sizes before settling on 600 trillion hertz, lluminating the hidden solar system inside Jupiter’s gravitational field, revealing the Galilean moons in all it’s breathtaking beauty. Widowmaker’s hand found Lena’s in the void of space as they silently watched the dance of celestial bodies, moving in time with the heavens. An aurora of light and colour bathed them as they floated in the sublime darkness of space.

The awe inspiring tranquility transcended reality when a massive shimmering veil of silver glass materialised and fell away like dust, to reveal a glittering entity walking on a sunbeam (Jupiter beam?)

Cosmic wind whisked around it, the centre of the universe seemed to shift and a sense of awe and humbleness flooded the two women witnessing the divine being revealing themselves before them.

The deity was a man with dark hair slightly slicked back, a rather kind welcoming face which was complemented by the presence of thick smart glasses.

“Hi,” he said, in a rather soothing voice with a hint of femininity, “I’m God, but, you may call me Jeff from the Overwatch Team.”

Lena and Widowmaker were warmed to his presence and offered their own greetings:

“Hiya.”

“Salut.”

“As you may know,” he continued, “I have a very important announcement to make regarding the future of Overwatch. There will be significant changes in the next patch that will be affecting you two in particular.”

“Wait,” Lena began, “If you’re God, then why did you reveal yourself to us?”

Jeff looked confused, “Sorry?”

“You’ve just proved you exist by turning that planet into a sun and by sayin’ hi, giving us irrefutable evidence of your existence. But, irrefutable evidence means you don’t need faith, but people need faith to believe in you. So by showing up, you’ve just proved you don’t exist! Also, if you’re all powerful and can do anything, can you create a stone too heavy for you to lift? Another thing: does the tree make a noise? Which ship is Theseus’? Is there a teapot goin’ round the sun?”

The look of confusion increased further. Thankfully though, a sharp elbow stopped Lena in her line of theological ramble. “Ouch! that hurt, love.” She whined.

“Thank you, Widowmaker,” Jeff said warmly.

“My apologies,” she chimed, “Please, you were saying?”

“Ah yes, my announcement...”

Widowmaker couldn’t help but feel a rush of excitement, though she suppressed it in the face of her creator. What was the announcement regarding her and Lena? More plot, maybe a couple character interactions and flirtatious lines?

Or maybe even canonization! She dared to hope. The thought sent excited tingles through her body though she remained as tsundere as possible. Jeff could sense her excitement (he was God after all) and smiled.

“One thing is first though,” he warned. His eyes suddenly turned a gleaming red that was far too bright as his voice dropped into a thundurus bellow.

“ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS - EXCEPT EUROPA

ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE”

And as quickly as that happened, he returned to normal.

Widowmaker shared a quick look with her girlfriend, Lena looked just as confused as she was.

“Now, back to the update. I have a feeling you guys will be pretty excited about the next comic as—”

---

The anticipation that had been building up vanished into excruciating disappointment as just before Jeff was about to reveal the truth, they were both chucked out of the slipstream, materialising back into reality on the dank construction sight they started on.

It was probably another cop out event comic anyway.

“Ah Lena, there you—” Winston was stopped dead in his tracks when he saw that Lena’s hand was still stuffed down the enemy's pants. “You’re in public,” he said, plainly putting his large paw to his face, “Just so you know.”

“Hmm,” Widowmaker murmured, “I have a feeling ma chérie enjoys it that way.”

Quite an ecstatic laugh that sounded more like a mating call indicated that Sombra was nearby. “You are a disaster, araña!” said Sombra as she appeared behind them. “A walking gay disaster.”

Widowmaker took that in stride, no point in denying it. “I preferred you as an iguana, ‘ombre,” she counted, to which Sombra’s only response was the slight furrowing of the brow in a silent ‘Que?’

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Soldier 76 yelled as he ascended the long stairs, out of breath.

Sombra touched up her nails with the nail filer she managed to conjure up. “I’m chillin’ out, el viejo, ” she said, sitting down on a beam and crossing her legs in a nonchalant manner. “You should too, before you give yourself a hernia.”

They weren’t spared from Soldier 76’s booming voice just yet as he caught sight of Lena and Widowmaker. “AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?”

“Calm down, Jack.” Ana soothed as she was getting out her thermal flask to pour everyone a post-battle cup of tea.

Winston decided it would be a good time to relax and took a seat with a thud that shook the platform slightly. “I mean, everyone knew anyways.”

“Oh, you did?” Lena asked, finally removed her hand from her girlfriend’s trousers. “Coulda bloody told us! Instead of making us sneak around and all that.”

“Oh?” chimed Widowmaker, lowering her gaze in an attempt to be seductive. “I thought you said that being clandestined was exciting, mon coeur.”

A positively evil grin formed on Lena’s face, she leant to her lover’s ear and whispered something that caused the periwinkle lady to turn a dark purple blush. She withdrew after nibbling and earlobe; offering a small tease for later. Unfortunately, Lena’s cool was ruined as Widowmaker crashed their lips together, makes a flushed lewd mess of Lena in the process.

“Woah, love.” she breathed, “That’ll do.”

Soldier 76 shook his head. “You knew?” he turned his gravelly attention to Ana who shrugged her shoulders.

“I suspected.” A cheeky smirk grew on Ana’s face, “What, you don’t ship it? Isn’t that a bit hypocritical of you, Jack? Whatever would Gabriel say?”

Jack turned away, conceding this round and muttering a bunch of old man insults under his breath.

“Oh, man,” piqued Lucio as he arrived at the scene. “It happen again? Wait, were frog me and bunny D.Va stillhaving that argument?”

“Yup.” Answered Tracer.

“For the record,” D.Va added, “You are crazy.”

“Yeah, but you love me.” he replied, and D.Va stuck her tongue out as there was little use denying him.

Suddenly, Lena remembered something. “Winston, just out of interest: what’s on Europa?”

Her best friend’s eyes went wide at the mention of that moon’s name. “Lena, trust me, you don’t want to know…”

“Okay, guess I don’t.” she trailed off, and a nice gay tranquility—only disturbed by Jack’s old man noises—fell onto the group as they watched the sun rise.

---

Fin.

#WidowTracer #overwatch fanfic #Widowmaker #tracer #comedy #shitpost #crack #lmaowhathaveIdone #jeff from the overwatch team #2010: a space odyssey references

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