#shit like that is why i hate sharing my interests/fandoms/making ''friends'' in fandom

[labyrinthofcrystals]

💎. ┊    thinkin abt when I was into [fandom] & I had a mutual who very openly didn't like it so I asked them if it was okay that I still followed them & they said yes so long as I tagged my shit (which I always did, of course). but then when I asked them to tag their crit posts they said no n started attacking me 🙃 like why did u say it was ok for me to still follow if u clearly had a Problem with it then??? and then they sent other people to harass me too like wtf.

#* mine / txt #they were SO fucking judgemental when they initially asked why i liked [fandom] too #should've trusted my Instincts & blocked when they made that post tbh #''i dont like seeing [fandom] positivity'' then unfollow this blog dumbass?? block the tag hello???? idot. absolute asshat. #WAIT i remember. they did have the tag blacklisted. bc they hated it so damn much. then WHY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK— #''wish you all the best'' then repeatedly tried to harass me after i blocked them 🙄🙄🙄🙄 #shit like that is why i hate sharing my interests/fandoms/making ''friends'' in fandom #bc the moment someome finds out you like smth ''controversial'' they forget cirtical thinking skills & nuance exist #like shocker! making fun of the ''controversial'' thing that i like wont make me stop liking it. it WILL however make me stop liking YOU. #this was back in 2021 btw im just. venting ig. #i dont even like [fandom] anymore lol i only watched 2 people involved in it anyway #yet that ex mutual acted like i was commiting warcrimes or smth geeze #anyway. reminder that i dont owe u shit! i do not nor will i ''justify'' my interests to you. if you dont like something here then fuck off #sometimes i think im too mean on here & then i remember this happened n im like ''no i should be meaner'' #controversial was probably the wrong word to use it was more considered ''problematic''. not that i ever cared but. yknow #what is it w me & having terrible friendship experiences oh my god. no wonder i dont trust anyone lol. #this is y i dont talk to ppl anymore pft

[chubs-deuce]

Hello!!! Love love LOVE your Charlastor and Hazbin artwork; your art is amazing!!

I have a feww questions if you’re comfortable with answering them (no worries if not) :D

I love hearing people’s music recommendations, so I was wondering if you listen to music whilst you draw and if there’s any songs in particular that make you think of the characters and/or the ship?

Also, I get a bit nervous posting about Charlastor because of some of the hate it gets in the fandom and because some of my irl classmates who follow me don’t like the ship (and don’t know I like it), so I was wondering what your general mindset is when you post your art online, but also what your mindset is like when posting Charlastor art, knowing what the fandom can be like?

Finallyy, I wanted to ask if you’ve read Under My Skin by whamagram on AO3 and if you have, what are your thoughts on it? It’s a mature slowburn Radiobelle fic and only has a few chapters out so far, but it’s updated pretty regularly and has become my new favourite at the moment! I highly highly recommend it because it’s super well-written, really witty, and really understands the characters. It’s all about Charlie nursing Alastor back to health after the final battle in season 1 and it’s just so well done!!

Again, just want to say that I really really love your work and thank you for sharing it! I especially love how you draw expressions and the way you draw characters and their emotions feels so real. Seeing your illustrations inspires me to keep practicing with my own art!

Omg thank you so much for this lovely ask?!!

I'd be more than happy to answer all of these actually! :D

I am, in fact, the kind of person who looooves finding songs that fit certain characters or ships and make whole playlists over time if I find enough of them, so here's some that made me think of Charlastor (links are all spotify):

- Glass Piano, by Kathleen

- Daisy Bell, and specifically this scuffed computer sung version bc it hits better

- bored like me, by dodie

- Ended with the Night, by Caravan Palace

- I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire, by The Ink Spots

- I Can't Decide, by Scissor Sisters

I have yet to really find more songs specific to the characters as individuals tho lol

----------

As for your next question...

This isn't my first rodeo in the unpopular non-canon het presenting ship club, so there's a few things I like to remind myself of when I feel that people pleaser anxiety sneaking up on me:

1)

if people truly wanted to avoid content of the ship, they'd block the tags. Maybe kindly ask your friend to block the charlastor and radiobelle tags bc you want to post about them? This way they're not forced to see what they dislike and you get to have your harmless fun. If they're opposed to this, question why. It's not your job to curate *their* online experience, they do have all the necessary tools at their disposal.

2)

I consider the source material like a toy box. You can play with the dolls in it like the packaging intended for you to, but there's no rules dictating that you can't play *your* way if that's more fun to you.

Canon is in my eyes the preferred suggestion, but not the law - don't we all just smush the heads of dolls together making kissy noises in our minds at the end of the day?

A lot of people sadly treat shipping like it's a battle for author validation, when in reality it was always just a way to playing with hypotheticals and exploring the world and characters canon offered us in new and interesting ways... I hate the attitude some people have about canonicity. Imo, as long as you're not acting like your non-canon ship should be canon and shit on other ships in the process, you're not doing any harm.

Now... Canon sexualities and having contrary headcanons are a tricky road to travel because there's so much emotional investment in the canon representation of often overlooked or mishandled minority groups, and this is the biggest anti argument I've seen get thrown around, since Charlastor as a ship not only splits up the canon lesbian pairing, but also alters Alastor's canon sexuality to make the ship work.

What's important here is that you handle it respectfully - i.e. don't be a dick and go around acting like your preferred ideas are better and should be canon or whatever. Attitude is important, respect canon for what it is and embrace the fact that your ship is not. It's not a detriment! It just means we have to make all of our own content lol.

I personally headcanon Alastor as demisexual/demiromantic not only because it still fits under the aspec umbrella, but also because I myself am both of those things and enjoy messing with the characters and narrative using a dynamic I have a lot of personal experience with! It's fun to hit someone as haughty and stubbornly emotionally detached as Alastor with a flurry of unexpected, unwanted feelings and struggling to navigate them.

Do I want that to be canon? Absolutely not! I'm just having fun with my imaginative toys in my own corner of the internet lol.

Also for the record, I think Chaggie is cute and they should absolutely stay together, I just don't find them interesting enough to explore further in the realm of fanfiction and art :'D

Ultimately I'm a strong believer of "I can post whatever I want forever", if anyone has an issue with it and the given tools at their disposal aren't enough to deal with it, they're free to unfollow and/or block me! I don't need anyone's approval to have harmless fun with my artistic and writing skills where I don't bother anyone, and that's imo always what should be at the core of creating just about anything.

----------

OH ALSO I KNOW THAT FIC AND IT'S SOO GOOODDDD I DROP EVERYTHING TO GO READ IT WHENEVER A NEW CHAPTER DROPS

I try my best to leave comments under it wherever I can too bc it genuinely scratches like every itch I have about this ship so well-

The comedy is on point, the dialogue feels so solidly in-character and the pacing and the overall concept just work perfectly!!

10/10 concur as a great recommendation lol

----------

QWQ again, thank you so much for taking the time to type out this lovely ask, I really do appreciate it and the compliments also absolutely made my day!!

I hope you keep having as much fun with this ship as I am, take care!! <3

#chubs answers #charlastor #radiobelle #long post

[autistichalsin]

I'm really fucking tired.

All I wanted was a space to obsess over a fictional man, who brought me a ton of healing, in peace.

This group has made it their mission to chase not only me away, but anyone associated with me. They called me a rape fetishizer for writing CNC fic. They called me a pedophile for making an omega Halsin headcanon. They called me a self-hating lesbian/lesbophobic for saying it's TERFy to demonize queer male sexuality. They mocked my abuse by my mom, and when called on it, laughed that I deserved it for saying how Mint's actions remind me of her sometimes. They accused me of retraumatizing myself because of the fic I wrote, when THEY were the ones who retraumatized me by causing me to have a flashback to my mom abusing me. They accused me of absolutely vile things, and today they questioned if I even was "really" abused because of the fic I wrote. They repeatedly mocked my special interests and then got offended and played victim when I said this was ableist. They've sent suicide bait to me and my friends.

They've harassed others: they harassed a bi SH fan for asking them to stop saying it was icky to ship her with men until she left the fandom, they harassed someone who made a mod to turn Scratch into Astarion so they could see the animations (even calling this person as bad as Cazador), they harassed someone for making a headcanon about Astarion dancing with Tav, they harassed a lesbian who herself headcanons Karlach as a lesbian and doesn't like Karlach/Dammon but explained why others do, they harassed my friend Mish for saying she was okay with me writing CNC, they sent suicide bait to another friend of mine and said she deserved to get raped so she would sympathize with Mint, causing her to have a mental breakdown and have to go to the hospital for 24 hours, and every time someone pushes back against them, this group weaponizes their identity by saying that person is bigoted against their identity- while ignoring (at best) the marginalized identities that person has, or at worst, furthering oppression against them (I.E. their repeated ableist comments, including one of them snarling at another user about "enjoying your grippy sock vacation")

And despite all these vile things this group of people have done, people are still believing them and sending more harassment to myself and my friends in their defense.

I'm fucking tired.

I'm tired of defending myself. I'm tired of losing people I considered friends to their lies. I'm tired of having my inbox invaded by these vile people.

They are wearing at my mental health and this already made me relapse on one of my addictive behaviors and I am fighting really hard not to do the other one. I'm tired. I loved this fandom and I loved contributing my ideas. I get so many messages from people saying I made them feel seen or made them connect to Halsin's character, and getting a message from a survivor that my posts gave them the words they were lacking for what happened to them and they were able to work through it in counseling was honestly one of the best things to ever happen to me. I really don't want to lose that. Ever. But I can't keep doing this.

I'm not bigoted to my own identity. I don't hurt people. I don't fetishize rape. I'm tired of being a broken record and not being believed because that group is so good at fragilizing themselves. I can't do it anymore.

I just wanted to share my thoughts about a fictional bear man because it made me happy and so many parts of him gave me courage. I wanted to give up cynicism like he did. I wanted to find his strength to take care of people.

But I am honestly very close to regretting ever joining this fandom. I have gained so much from it, it helped my mental health immensely, but this shit has put me in an even WORSE place mentally than i was before I joined.

I don't know what to do. I'm just tired of the way, no matter how much I epitomize "living your best life" I get treatment from these people that I honestly wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

I have a lot of painful feelings right now and I don't know what to do anymore. It just hurts and I think everyone would be better off if I'd never made this blog to begin with.

[flamedraco]

c!Wilbur Redesign

This is my compromise to the current situation regarding Shubble and the speculation surrounding Wilbur. This is coming from a fanfiction writer who has always, and always will, see the CCs as nothing more than voice actors for their characters. Buckle in, this is going to be a long one. But please read all the way through. If you don't know, recently Shubble came forward with a video about how she was in an abusive relationship. And she dropped some hints because she wants people to speculate about who it is. Wants to make sure that a person with bad intentions can't get away with more bad things. A lot of people are speculating that, due to said hints and previously established crush that he had on her, Wilbur is the person who abused her. Now personally? I do not believe this. It's hard for me to believe that Wilbur would do something like that. I don't like the idea of hopping on the hate train or immediately jumping to cancel someone. So I will be waiting for real facts and confirmation before saying anything regarding the CC. A lot of the speculation doesn't make sense to me logically and I also never got the chance to see the video before it was deleted. This is not me calling Shubble a liar. I 100% believe her and my heart goes out to her completely. She doesn't deserve being treated horribly, nobody does. The situation I'm hearing she went through is a wretched thing and I will not TOLERATE people insulting her or saying that she should just say who it was. That shit is not okay and never will be okay. HOWEVER! I will NOT stop writing Wilbur's character. A little fact about me is that when I came into this fandom, it wasn't because I watched the CCs. It wasn't because I was interested in MCYT. The reason I came here was because a very close friend of mine asked me to cowrite a fic with them. At the time the only fandom we really shared even vaguely was DSMP. I knew very little about it but I knew some things. I let my friend choose the ship. They chose TNT Duo. And it's thanks to that friend that I wrote Arsonist's Waltz. That I started to adore Quackbur and wrote my most well known fic, You Were Never Meant to be a Hero. And thanks to YWNMTBAH I made so many cherished friends. It's all because of these two little characters that still have me in a chokehold even though I've been writing them for quite some time now. And that's why I can't simply let go of Wilbur's character. But regardless of my ability to separate the Cs from the CCs, for some people that distinction is harder. The CCs to me are just glorified voice actors. For other people it's harder. They can separate the characters from the content creators just fine, but this situation hits them close to home. And it hurts. So, this is my proposed solution, brought to my attention by a friend who was heavily affected by this situation, but loved the work she was doing and didn't want to have to let it go. C!Wilbur doesn't have an actual canon design. When you think about it, the only thing we have to go off of is his Minecraft skin. Something that, when you think about it, doesn't tell us much about the character at all. There is no canon design because most of what we see as "canon" is based on the CC, not the character himself. When you look at c!Wilbur, the skin, does he have an eye color? Do we know his height? What about his hair length? His build? What do we actually know about this character outside of the clothing on his back and the personality his actor gave him? And when you make an AU everything changes. From now on? My c!Wilbur design that I'll use as a baseline for most of my fics is a 6ft man with heterochromia. One eye blue, the other teal. He's going to have brown curly hair that dips just below his shoulders and a light scar over one of his eyes. Sometimes he'll have freckles because what the fuck can we tell from a Minecraft skin anyways? He wears black nail polish because why not? Slay.

I already treated him and c!Quackity like glorified OCs already. Why not further OC the glorified OCs? So what if they aren't a faithful adaptation? How can anyone say what is and isn't "faithful" when we're talking about BLOCK MEN. Make them eldritch. Make them supernatural. Make them whatever kind of hybrid you want them to be! I'll die on my Magpie!Wilbur and Shrike!Quackity hill! Give them different eye colors and let them dye their hair sometimes, I'm going to make the white streak PINK because TWINS DUO and CHERRY BLOSSOM TRIPLETS! Give your Phantom!Wilburs green eyes and glowing blood! Give your Shapeshifter!Wilburs more hair and eye colors! Do what you want because the character has no actual canon design. Go wild with your AUs and remember that you're doing this for fun. For your enjoyment. Don't conform to what someone else wants from you just because your adaption, your interpretation, "isn't the real Wilbur". The characters are what we make them. Because the reality of the situation? They are literally just blocks in a cube game. There is no canon design. Don't let the actions of some asshole ruin what you love.

#Build your own Wilbur #mcyt #mcyt fanart #The characters are not the CCs #Build a c!Wilbur #cosplay #writing #art

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to talk about a fandom with a friend?

We've been friends for 6-7 years, but we're not close. Just your regular internet friendship where we both have close friends and seperate friend groups, but us two were in the same fandom initially and that's how we know each other.

She's in a lot of fandoms casually but her ult fandom is massive, I'm in a smaller but still big fandom. We're both fandom olds, we both know fandom etiquette and behavior, we're both adults with our own lives etc. Please don't assume we're unattended teens in a petty fight.

We have both shown interest in each other's fandoms, we both understand we can't be more involved there than we already are. That's all fine.

I used to talk about my fandom with her initially, about 2 years ago, but I gradually stopped since she's not that interested and I have other friends to talk to who are already into it. Besides I have a short social battery, so I don't *need* to talk to everyone all the time.

The issue is: After not showing that much interest for months and me not talking to her much, she's trying to talk to me about it now. But all she sends me are theories from people I have blocked or people dragging this media and expecting everyone to laugh with them, outlandish mischaracterization, hot takes that are just fans insulting the creator over their own piss poor reading comprehension, memes that have been done to death etc. All in all it's things my fandom friends and I are sick of.

And it's particularly bugging me because my friend here faces and rants about the same shit in *her* fandom! She gets my issues with mischaracterization or creator bashing etc same as I do with her! But it's as if she never paid any attention when I said 'This and This are untrue or hurtful' or 'I hate when This is said' or correct her on anything that from insider pov is borderline offensive. Ofc I wouldn't expect her to know... except I *have* told her many times and I share a lot of posts talking about it so anyone following me would have a general idea even if we never spoke?

This is partly why I stopped talking to her about it because for the last full year and some more, every few weeks she brought up the same bad fanons. And after I debunked them she said 'Oh that's terrible!', then after a couple weeks same old same old. Ofc that's really frustrating.

We stopped talking about it like I said, but she's now back on it and I'm not reciprocating. When she wants me to look at her memes or talk about the ships I make it clear that I don't want to do that. She has other friends from my fandom who are into those tired takes she shares, she's not speaking into a void. I'm free to talk about anything else but her behavior for over a year is pulling me away from her tbqf.

I feel like I'm being a bad friend, it's just fiction. But she takes her own fiction just as seriously and rags on people she disagrees with way more than me. So I don't know, I like my friend but I hate talking to her about anything fandom related. Did I make it bad for myself by sending her things in the beginning when she was probably saying odd things to signal she wasn't interested? I think so.

PS: If any of you think about replying with 'Eh who cares fanon is fun, take a joke' etc, control yourself. Thank you.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[toburnup]

I don’t understand why people care enough to negatively comment on work because they don’t like a character…

I don’t like some characters that my friends reblog and I just scroll past like a normal person, I’m not going to dictate or judge what people like and I can’t stand the way people say “oh I block people who like *insert character they dislike*” like it’s so petty and strange… I like all your work I think you’re a great writer do I ship all the same people as you? Nope but does it bother me? Not at all. There is no letting people have fun in this fandom I swear to god!

i find it very odd. it's especially easy to avoid on tumblr, so i don't understand people's reactions (also, sorry, i accidentally wrote a whole essay here)

i'm not sure if it's because so many people in the ST fandom are newer to fandom in general, or it's just how things are now (i'm afraid it's this one), but i find that a surprising amount of people see any interest in a character as like... symbolic of someone's personal morals and values. and this is especially rampant among steddie shippers which is unfortunate. i block a ton of people on twitter because they say "hellcheer dni" and then i see passive aggressive messages on discord about how i blocked them. is this because people make the media they consume their whole ID? or people trying to play activist? (i've said it before on here but my activism isn't an online activity for me, it's my work and it's my personal life, and i'm intentional about separating these. i don't share much about my life on here on purpose).

billy anti's are actually scary at times. i personally don't see the logic of harassing real people in the name of fictional characters (and this is a generalization, but most of the time it's white shippers pulling that shit which just feels performative at best). this isn't billy-related, but joseph quinn fans bullied a jquinn fan account (run by a woc) off of twitter because she wasn't retweeting social justice-related posts. lmao. people really see sj rt's as the be-all and end-all of Being a Good Person. like people have lives outside of fandom and they can't see that.

LONG STORY SHORT, i know that posting my hellcheer and metalsandwich fic is going to make some people hate me or whatever, but i'm really tired of feeling like i can only openly like and enjoy steddie in order to have value here. if people are going to stop reading what i write, or blacklist me or whatever, i'll make my peace with that. and let's be real, who's really the one losing out in that scenario? because it's not me.

#maybe if i say this enough i'll believe it. but i know myself and if people start harassing me for it i will leave lol #i talk a big talk but i'm sensitive about this and i'm only here for the community so if i lose that - there's no reason for me to stay #so i hope people will be able to Be Cool about me posting different ships and not make vagueposts about me again #hanging on here by a thread folks #on fandom #vio speaks #billy hargrove mention #harringrove mention #hellcheer mention #multishipping #losers DNI #long post #(accidentally) #antis get a life challenge #steddie negative

[tesla-runner]

I never expected to have to make this post

I've talked to different people in the last while, and I've realized something: Most of the people in the KFP fandom are men.

And it may seem like a small thing, but that explains several behaviors I've seen in the networks regarding the franchise itself, like assuming traditionally feminine roles to characters like Tigress, Capitain Marvel effect on Zhen, or, and I consider the worst case scenario, sexualizing characters like The Chameleon to a point of outright disgust.

(NSFWish image below, TW for rape implication)

And I've always found it curious why people are so interested and invested in the idea of "humiliating" a character whose arc is based on a wound of being humiliated and rejected in the past, but then I remembered that with Po, this phenomenon does not happen, and that it seems to be a phenomenon exclusive to female characters, which, in turn, reinforces to me the idea that many do not hate The Chameleon for writing errors or lack of depth, but that they hate her for the mere fact of being a woman, using the other reasons mentioned as a cover up.

And not just the "I will humilliate humilliated women bc its sexy" but the fact many people changes her whole character, and most important her power, in order to turn her into a "submissive slut"

Not just this kind of content is already disgusting, but the fact many young people are into this fandom, and specially tiktok where this image came from, are openly interacting with this idea of "The Chameleon getting gang-raped in the Spirit Realm is so funny" is directly dangerous, bc its sends the idea that "rape is a valid way to humilliate women" and that is directly rapist rethoric. Im not saying everyone that likes this idea is a rapist, but im saying everyone that shares this idea involves themselves in the way a rapist would think and excuse themselves

Even if this is more as a way of "satire" as I discussed with a friend about this whole phenomenon, this kind of shit is repulsive and I hope with all my heart that none of the people that engages with this bs gets close to a woman irl.

#kung fu panda #kung fu panda 4 #the chameleon #kfp chameleon #kfp 4 #the chameleon kung fu panda 4 #kfp4 #kung fu panda chameleon #fandoms hate women so bad its pathetic #fandom culture #fandom community #fandom cant stand women istfg #rapeculture #rapesurvivor

[lostcauses-noregrets]

A few words about trolling and harassment

I've had quite a lot of asks recently about how to deal with trolling, hate and negativity in fandom. There are too many to answer individually, so I hope you don't mind me answering like this.

Sadly trolling and hate is nothing new, it's always been a feature of fandom, and the Eruri fandom is no exception. Because the Eruri fandom has quite visible and popular artists and writers, I think it tends to attracts more trolls than you might expect for such a small fandom. It's also noticeable that incidents of hate and trolling always increase when the whole fandom becomes more active in the run up to anime season releases. Trolling can happen at any time though, sometimes it's a single sorry individual with no life, too much time on their hands, and no imagination to do anything more creative.

Being targeted by trolls can be understandably upsetting and I know that some people get really anxious and upset by the low level ship hate that buzzes around in the background. So how to deal with it? It might sound trite but the best thing to do with trolls is ignore them. Trolls are desperate for your attention, so don't give it to them. I know that's easier said than done though so my advice is that if you can't resist responding, do so with humour. Trolls rarely appreciate being laughed at. I have a strict policy of ignoring all the anon hate I get here on tumblr, but occasionally I get an ask that is too hilarious not to share, so I post it on twitter for everyone to point and laugh at.

Dealing with disingenuous fans can be a bit tricker, as it's not always easy to tell when someone is arguing a point in good faith or if it's bait and they're just trying to start shit. Like trolls, bait is best ignored. Don't let them hook you in and don't argue back, it's not worth wasting your time trying to change their mind. You won't. Just walk away. Spend your precious time on something that you enjoy instead, like reading your favourite fanfic, or creating something new for your fandom. And whatever you do, don't engage with ship hate and ship wars. Leave others to enjoy their ship, and you focus on enjoying your own. Shipping isn't a competition; it's not something you can win or lose. If people are bringing negativity and hate into the tags block them, and curate your timeline to minimise their visibility.

If you find that trolling, harassment and fandom discourse is making you really anxious and upset then you need to disengage. It's vitally important to establish your own boundaries and to stick by them. Don't hang out in spaces where there are people who will upset you, block and report obvious trolls, and mute anyone who brings negativity into your fandom spaces, even if they're from your own side of the fandom. Don't feel that you have to engage with the fandom at large. The best advice I've ever heard is that fandom is best enjoyed with a small group of like minded weirdos who you can share your kinks and headcanons with and who you can bitch to in private. Its sound advice and it's worked for me for years.

Way back in 2018, my friend and fellow Eruri fan @valisi-clark did a fascinating survey of why people send Anon hate. The anonymous responses they got were really eye opening. if you're interested you can read the whole thing here: Anonymous Hate Survey.

I can also highly recommend this beautiful post from @ladymacbethsspot with solid practical advice on how to deal with all kinds of bullying and harassment.

I hope this helps folk to navigate fandom's stormy waters. If anyone needs to get anything off their chest, my ask box is always open. I can't respond to every ask I get, but I do read them all.

#fandom #trolls #dealing with harassment

[carlosoliveiras-wife]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ .ೃ࿐ ┈┈┈┈ : . . . . : ─ hola, qué pasa. i’m chloë [she/her], biromantic[?]/ace-spectrum hispanic [white/mex] ladee who enjoys masc titles. here’s my main selfship carrd [still in progress]. here’s my general f/o list. here's my fandom ref drive. please like this post once read!

the guys shown above are My Darlin's, my main F/Os that I have super bad brainrot about and who are just part of my main squad but with a fancier label. rubs eyes. in order, they are...

Carlos Oliveira; Resident Evil 3 [Remake]

Pavia; Reverse: 1999

Miguel O'Hara; Specifically ATSV's Version*

Charles Smith; Red Dead Redemption 2

Lúcio Correia dos Santos; Overwatch

Lee; Arknights

Rei Sakuma; Ensemble Stars!!

the asterisk is that i largely use comic lore in reference to Miguel. in case that needed to be said. i just needed to put that out there i guess??

my terms on sharing are that i'm not comfy, and if you're too lazy(/nm) to read below, the gist is dni if we share, and if you reblog from someone who shares my f/os of any status, i'll just softblock for my mental health because i. am a bitch when it comes to sharing. sorry.

in the same sense: if you share any of my friends' f/os, i either will block or not follow just for their sakes and i have a personal bias when it comes to my friends' stuff. if that makes sense. probably not. here's the link to the list, which can be updated at any time.

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ .ೃ࿐ ┈┈┈┈ : . . . . : ─ i’m specifically writing my new pinned to sound like i lack enthusiasm, because, y’know, i kinda feel that way a lot. don’t be intimidated, i don’t bite unless you give me a permit to do so, otherwise i’ll just stare at you from across the room. i’m not new to selfshipping in the slightest, and i’ve been doing this shit since i was a kid. i heavily love fictional characters and i see them as my bitches who should bow down to me. that’s a joke. i’m bowing down to them. sidenote: i put the question mark by biromantic because i have no idea if i’m aroace or not. sigh.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ .ೃ࿐ ┈┈┈┈ : . . . . : ─ i like a lot of things outside of fictional characters who make me wanna eat grass. i love to draw, i love to write, i love to design, i’d fucking love to not have seasonal allergies. i also really fucking love animals, however, don’t rely on me for knowledge because i obviously don’t know everything about anything. my faves are orcas and foxes! my favorite foods are salmon nigiri, tamales, and conchas. awkward thumbs up emoji.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ .ೃ࿐ ┈┈┈┈ : . . . . : ─ my dni and other stuff can be found on my main/introductory carrd. fandom-wise, you can find my info and trivia and all your need-to-knows on my ascendaries carrd.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ .ೃ࿐ ┈┈┈┈ : . . . . : ─ yes, i’m aware i have a rain theme going on. personal ties and i love the weather. shrug emoji.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ .ೃ࿐ ┈┈┈┈ : . . . . : ─ yes, i'm aware a lot of my selfships have repetitive themes and tropes. those themes and tropes are very comforting and also largely stem from personal things which is why i indulge them. tldr: if you hate childhood friends to lovers, hooh, you're gonna hate me.

little tidbits about me, i suppose. a good chunk of these are taken from my old pinned.

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ i quite literally use myself in all selfships, and prefer each fandom variation to not be called a "self insert". it's legit just me befitted for a fandom (usually a f/o, ie, if a f/o is an eldritch horror then fuck it i am too) 😔 ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ i have a lot of interests and tend to show an interest in a lot of things at once— while i may not know everything about a media, i do immediately go searching for character analyses as well as consume media as much as i can. i do have an attention problem which involves finding it hard to sit down and binge. but i will read the info as much as i can, i do tend to like reading more than watching/playing. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ again, as previously stated, i am a hispanic selfshipper. however, i look whiter than one would assume, and kinda act it as well. while meals and pronunciations are a big deal to me[minus the joking mispronunciations which earn me 'oh she's white' stares; listen it's kinda funny], i'm not fluent in spanish [i know a few phrases…] nor do i have many experiences many others may have. i admire a lot of the traditions, however i did not grow up with them. i’d love to meet other hispanic selfshippers though, y’all are cool and i’m giving you all a little kiss. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ yeah, it's actually spelled “Chloë”, in case you had to know. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ i love to indulge my friends and mutuals as best as i can! my inbox is always open for rambles and such, so don't be afraid to talk to me. i also don't mind infodumps on any of my faves because you'd more than likely help me understand them more anyways, which is always welcome. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ i do love to portray myself as the more affectionate one in any of my selfships— while everyone loves affectionate male/female f/o stuff, i like giving out more love and flustering my dumbasses. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ unfortunately, i am a lady who is very not okay with sharing. if that bothers you, just please do not interact. i know non-sharing selfshippers seem silly and childish, but it's just how i am. similarly, i do not care to interact with anyone who selfships with faves on the friend DNI list, meaning that i prefer their selfships above all else. i know that ain’t gonna stop anyone, but oh well. that list doesn’t apply to anyone following before that list was updated, so! yeah. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ i'm uncomfortable with nsfw and if you are a nsfw account, please do interact on a different account. while i do have nsfw humor, indulging in actual nsfw makes me uncomfy, so please keep that in mind. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ don't be scared of interacting with me. i'm not gonna leap out of the water and bite your hand off. as long as we don't share f/os, i don't mind interacting. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ i don't mind being tagged in things. i find it quite fun, actually! and i feel honored! hehehe ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ fandom blogs PLEASE dni. there's nothing wrong with you guys...some of y'all, i mean. i'm just. i'd strongly prefer not to have fandom blogs follow me. likewise: ccxcc shippers for my f/os. sorry i'm still a person who's uncomfy w/sharing ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ edited last: 12/6/2023 — while this blog is by all means "private" (read: i have the settings that doesn't allow this blog to be searched up or something else), i don't think i'm too bothered by reblogs or stuff about my personal selfship content anymore. i had this rule in place initially so that way i did not burn a hole in my brain from too much attention, however, i will do my best in taking things easier so that way i don't hit that mark of burnout again, or at least, as fast. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

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DNI

you fit basic DNI criteria, this includes being a zionist. i dont wanna see any proshippers or racists or pedos or lgbtphobes or islamophobes or anyone else who fits this bs criteria

if you share my f/os, this is just more of a comfort thing. im less likely to follow if you reblog from someone who does share my f/os just for my own comfort

if you associate with @/tealilii or @/glazelilii or whatever other handles she has. she's caused trauma for me and another friend of mine, and might still be doing harmful shit to my other friend.

you associate with @/lolthia. you can find posts on why you shouldnt associate with them.

javier escuella slanderers. i will throw you like a fucking dodgeball

people who like dark content, including but not limited to: yanderes, DD: DNE, noncon or dubcon, incest including stepcest, the glorification of abuse

see someone wearing certain things in fashion and immediately ask if theyre into nsfw things or why they're wearing "fetish gear". its weird, dont do that, esp not to me.

there's probably more but. hm. i'll update eventually

i don't know what else to add. glances to the side. so uh. yeahh. hi there guys...??

dividers are by @/cafekitsune!!

#⛈️: chloë's thunderstorm of info. #(pinned)

[hotchs-big-hands]

Today turned out to be Pretty Bad™ stuck down very awful bad memory lane and I just wanna clarify to ppl why I may not always answer dms/asks etc. I've only really told one person on here the big details about this, and I won't go into all the details here either but it'll be enough to explain why. I hope anyway. Idk why I'm doing this.

I'll give a quick tl;dr here because it is long and also goes into very triggering topics such as self harm/suicide.

Basically I used to have a very close best friend, who I'll call shithead, back in early 2018 until late 2022 who extremely manipulative, emotionally abusive and just very overall toxic. If you've ever seen me refer to a "shithead" in tags or whatever then its about the person imma talk abt here. I was essentially the person they turned to to talk them out of doing things to themselves, if you get me. As well as a lot of other stuff. Ended up getting therapy (but not for the right reasons tbh) and also got a bad coping mechanism where I tend to not talk to people, I keep my distance and its smth I wanna tackle but it's difficult. So if you haven't heard back from me it's not cuz I don't like you, I am fighting with my brain. Also I kinda question if I actually am a good person or not because of stuff that I did in retaliation to this person.

I'll get into details now under the cut but yeah don't read if self harm/suicide/toxic dynamics are something you don't want to hear about for whatever reason.

As above, in early 2018 I used to have a different fanfic blog for a different fandom. I won't go into detail about which fandom and what the blog was but it was fairly popular. This is how I came to be friends with them. And like at the beginning it was fucking great! We became fast friends and we had a lot of shared interests. They introduced me to a lot of games, TV shows etc. But that's also where the problems started.

They were one of those types of fans. The "very possessive over certain characters" type of fan. If they liked them and had a crush on them then you couldn't do the same cuz character belonged to them. Which at the time I didn't rly like but I used to be friends with someone in high school who was also like that about characters so I assumed it was just a thing ppl did. However, it escalated to if I had a character I liked then they'd for some reason not like them and in fact hated them. This was kinda draining cuz they never wanted to talk abt stuff I liked, without actually directly saying so. They'd just shit talk them the whole time or say they hate them. So I stopped talking about what I liked. Later, they'd suddenly really like said media or characters and only then was it fine to talk about them. But in turn they'd be possessive and if I said oh okay I'll step back from them they would make me feel like I was being stupid because "no they didn't say I couldn't like them".

Anyway thats not rly the worst of it of course, the actual bad stuff is now so again, final warning for self harm/suicide. Will square off the triggering sections.

*********************

They struggled with their mental health a lot. Like a lot. I'd be there for them to listen, offer help and support because I like to take care of ppl and make sure they'll be okay. Except it escalated to them using me to talk them out of harming themself and killing themself. And this was almost everyday/night. And need I just say they were an hour ahead of me as well btw. I went to university in 2019 originally and by December I was completely burnt out because I spent every day and night making sure they didn't fucking do anything to themself. I got at most 2-3 hours of sleep a night if I was lucky and I stopped doing my hobbies and uni work because I just had no drive to do them anymore. It was clear I was also suffering mentally. I was suicidal and thinking of harming myself as well (and unfortunately I did do so a couple times). But I prioritised them. Everything was triggering for them, and I mean that. I had a long list pinned to my wall of everything I was to avoid mentioning because it would trigger them.

They never took care about my own mental health btw, which I'm not saying they HAD to but I know it was because they just didn't care. And they said as much too. They said because they are autistic they have no empathy and therefore do not feel anything about my mental health. So I suffered basically alone.

*********************

I dropped out of uni in early 2020 and in fact went home the weekend lockdown began in the UK. Things were not good. I was still trying to be support for shithead, I went to therapy and started medication for the wrong reasons. I wanted to get better so I could take care of them. Which like. Never do that. Never go to therapy so you can be someone else's therapist. Go to therapy because YOU want to be better for YOURSELF.

We were in in a bigger friendship group spread across a few discord servers and they all broke down one way or another. One instance there was an argument between shithead and a bunch of others who were comparing who had it worse during ww2. The others were Americans but were also of Jewish heritage with family who were affected by the holocaust and shithead lives in a country near where the holocaust happened with relatives who went through a famine. Either way it was just not gonna be a good conversation. Shithead left, I stayed and like I already don't rly talk to people much in groups because its overwhelming but I did do a little bit. Someone who was friends with shithead and still in the server told shithead I was talking to the others and in turn I basically betrayed shithead. Hindsight I wish I had just left the server ages before and like maybe j shouldn't have talked to the others idk. I regret it either way and think abt it a lot.

Another few shitty things I did in response to how shithead would treat me is giving them the silent treatment, giving short answers etc. I wanted them to feel bad, but it would round back to me being told I'm a coward and horrible to them. Which maybe I was but frankly I was scared of them.

*********************

Things began to rly break down when they showed me their fresh self harm wounds, blood and all, because they were "bored". I didn't talk to them for a few days and their apology wasn't much of an apology, more just making excuses again (aka I have autism so it's not my fault). I started talking less and less because by this point my brain had had enough ig and began to close off from them and just ppl in general.

*********************

In 2022 I finally returned to university and thats also when I finally stopped talking to them. A few months ago I finally blocked them on everything. However, I still struggle with communication and don't rly do it much. It's difficult to maintain friendships and I don't trust easily. I plan on going back to therapy whenever i can because this is just unresolved. But yeah idk I'm sorry to everyone who I haven't responded to, or take a long time to respond to.

One thing that is good tho is that like, after shithead I didn't enjoy anything. I didn't rly watch or hyperfixate on anything. But last year around this time I came across an Aaron Hotchner x plus size reader fic and I've been obsessed with him since!! And now here we are, got a blog and everything for a fandom finally after so long :) so it's not all bad.

But yeah that's why I struggle keeping up with messages and asks. Idk if anyone is gonna read this but if you've read this far then thank you and you mean a lot. Big hugs to yawl and I hope yawl have a lovely day, and if not then please take it easy 💖💖💖💖

#vent post #tw vent #tw: self harm #tw suicide #tw self harm #a speaks

[danggirlronpa]

Hey, do you see Touko as more of a bisexual, or more of a lesbian with comphet? I've seen cases made for either, and both are pretty compelling. On one hand, I definitely think her and Byakuya will Never work out as anything but a friendship, but just because she and him aren't meant to be, doesn't mean that those *feelings* weren't real... But even saying that, I'm not sure if her feelings for Byakuya are actually *for* him, but instead the idea of him. How she characterizes him in her fantasies in UDGs illustrates this; while I think some of the lines she imagines him saying are accurate (though would be said in a different tone/context), some of it is just Shit He Would Not Say. So I do see where people are coming from regarding "she's a lesbian only in love with the idea of Togami" because I think there is an argument to be made for that. On the other hand...

I keep going back to Syo's last FTE - now, obviously, Syo and Touko are different people, but there *IS* leak through with them. According to the two of them, they share feelings - which is why they both love Byakuya and are friends with Komaru. So, in Syo's final(?) FTE, she talks about how confused she is over the fact that she doesn't want Byakuya dead. She goes onto conclude that her feelings for him are just Deeper if I remember right, which I think is compelling evidence of Touko and Syo's (shared) feelings for him coming from a genuine place. (And also supports my headcanon that Syo killed the boys she did because Touko wanted them dead after they hurt her - since they share feelings, Syo felt that too, and without the context of WHY Touko felt this way, it would just feel like to Syo that she a) loved these guys and b) wanted them dead, leading to her mistaking the feeling for, well, wanting to cut up cute guys. But that's a different story.)

So, I sort of see where both camps are coming for. I was wondering if you had any thoughts on it? I think either headcanon is valid and has at least some support in the text, but I would be interested in hearing your thoughts.

The quick answer to this: I'm a staunch supporter of comphet ace lesbian Toko and comphet lesbian Jack! Also, I think it's really important to remember that different alters can have different sexual orientations - there's no reason not to headcanon Toko as a lesbian and Jack as something else! (I think Jack would really jive with 'no labels just rock and roll,' actually. Queer Jack.)

The slightly longer answer to this:

So to start, a huge disclaimer: I hate Toga//Fuka. Everything about it squicks me out. I hate the way it makes a joke out of stalking and male victims, I hate how it characterizes both of them, I hate the sheer amount of space it takes up. I think fandom has, in general, politely swept just how bad Toko was in THH with Byakuya in favor of her much better characterization in UDG. And I do not blame them. It is hard to watch and be a part of. I like to think that this does not bias me in this discussion, but like...ultimately, just keep in mind that I'm speaking from a place of dislike for one of the core "Fukawa system likes guys" belief in general.

(Note: this is a completely independent issue of me not liking Byakuya. I ALSO hate Byakuya. But in a like. Very different way. And he is DEFINITELY the victim in the Toga//Fuka dynamic.)

I am generally also a believer in "Jack is actually the core alter, and Toko was the alter that developed later." I think it both makes a lot of sense and makes the other issues surrounding her 0.02% less bad. It doesn't make it GOOD. But we're working with the game that does just about as bad as its physically possible to do representing DID here, so I'll scrape my pennies from the bottom of this barrel to buy an eighth a pack of gum. I can pay the rest of the dollar myself.

Within this context. I think, rather than Jack manifesting as the system's overall need to release immense tension, Toko manifests as the system's overall yearning to be socially acceptable; to, rather than being zany and bad at picking up on social cues and inclined towards immense violence, be quiet and aware of what those around her think and romantic. (This means a girl who has toppled the other direction and is immensely anxious about what the people around her think, but y'know, you get what you get.)

In a lot of ways, I think the Fukawa system's comphet is an extension of their shared desire to be "normal." To, for metaphorical purposes, cut out the part of themselves they don't like - the violence, the anxiety, at time the fact that they share a body in general, themselves- and replace it with a nice traditional Good Girl TM.

(I do think that this works with Toko as the core alter as well, or for both alters developing at the same time. In that interpretation, Toko wants to get rid of Jack, the part of her which she considers 'abnormal,' and Jack wants to get rid of Toko, the part of her which she considers 'abnormal.' Ultimately, they actually both hate Toko in particular - Toko in self-loathing, and Jack because of having to share her body with such a bummer - so the ideal is Still a new, third alter, which subsumes both of them and is A Perfect Person. The essence of the thing is very similar. I just prefer the first interpretation in general, because I think it adds more depth to the character.)

The same way that Fukawa's comphet is an extension of general desire to be normal, the obsession with Byakuya is an extension of the comphet - the extension of the extension of the desire to be normal (in simple terms: a=b, b=c, thus a=c). Like you said, the characterization of Toko's imaginary Byakuya is a great example of this! As is Jack's even greater obsession with Byakuya in UTDP-verse, where there's no killing games to restrict either of them (though any UTDP characterization should be...taken with a hefty handful of salt).

And in terms of the development of Jack's desire not to kill Byakuya, I think there are two important things to remember.

Jack is not a reliable narrator of her own experience. (This feels obvious to me, but it's always good to establish at the outset, because sometimes people forget that characters can't be taken at face value.)

Jack's desire not to kill Byakuya doesn't come from time spent with Byakuya. It comes from time spent with Makoto.

You can't even argue that the time with Makoto counts because it line up with the time spent with Byakuya - because of Jack's availability for FTEs, you can't to get this scene after the first day of Trial Four. And Jack remembers the two years spent together - and we know Jack was around and interacting with classmates in that time, because she's in some of the class photos Junko hands out.

In my opinion - and the beauty of analysis is that there's any number of ways that you could interpret this scene, but what I find the most likely based on what we know of both Toko and Jack - is that this isn't out of any special romantic feelings for Byakuya, the way Jack is mistaking it: this is from Jack's general platonic affection for the group.

The thing is, at the end of THH, the group has very deeply trauma bonded. Toko is even aware of it, to a certain extent. But Jack isn't aware of it, because Jack - as we've established earlier, and as I think is a pretty widely recognized part of her character - is really, really, bad at reading the room. Jack struggles a lot with emotions! That's why she conveys them through scissors. Very, very directly. And because Toko's almost always fronting, it's safe to assume Jack has rarely, if ever, interacted with anyone except her classmates more than once or twice.

I think it's not only possible, but very reasonable, to think that Jack mistook "I have a lower urge for violence because for the first time in my life I've had friends who accept who I am and the support system has made me a better person, more capable of handling my unhealthy coping mechanisms, and now that they've forgotten me I'm coming to truly appreciate how much that support has changed me" for "I must just be SUPER in love with Byakuya! So much that I don't want to do violence to ANY boys anymore. As long as I just keep thinking of him and being in love with him all the time!!"

And surely that won't lead to any self fulfilling cycles!

#really only the last paragraph of this is Direct Counter To The Ask the rest is just me rambling about comphet lesbian toko bcuz i love it #asks #anon #talk to the mod

[quadrantbot]

Jake and Dirkjake and other mildly related tangents. (Additional paragraph on alpha kid romance, because I guess that was necessary to me.)

Heads up this post is not positive about Dirkjake like, at all. I'm not saying you can't like it or do anything with it, I am just sharing my own personal opinion and analysis on it. And Jake in general. (I'm not going to tag with Dirkjake because that's a dick move, but I'm not going to intentionally avoid saying it in NON tag text either. Scroll on if you don't like Dirkjake hate. Okay? Cool.) 

Jake is one of those characters that fandom wise, is super mischaracterized. This includes the mischaracterizations in postcanon as well, which also at least to some degree includes Pesterquest. It's confusing to me for several reasons why so many major changes were made to Jake outside of the main comic, but considering how most of the fans do not seem to take him seriously and the writing team for the dubiously canon content seem to lump his existence purely in with Dirk, it's a little understandable.

Jake isn't really too complicated of a character when it comes to likes, dislikes, motivations and issues. Jake likes his movies, the IDEA of adventure, and he loves blue ladies. He doesn't really care for romance at any major point in the story, especially considering his entire friend group had feelings for him, and when it comes down to actual adventures, actual conflict, he's freaked out. Jake has a great deal of care for his friends, even despite the weird romance shit occuring in the group, and his main issue when it comes to that friend group is a lack of communication from everyone involved. Jake "wants" to be important, Jake "wants" to be a hero, Jake "wants" to be a brave adventurer, but these "wants" don't ever appear to reflect in his actions, even so far as contradicting them, leading to conflict between his supposed wants, and what he actually seems to go for. Jake is often seen as a "himbo" by the fandom, but even that is not really all that accurate. Jake isn't stupid. Jake does have some issues when it comes to reading the room, but even when he DOESN'T, it's usually picked up whenever he's in a weird situation that he doesn't want to be in, which can be seen in his conversation with Jane about her romantic feelings for him, or the proposed lack thereof. Should be pages 4587-4593, but I'll screenshot the notable parts I'll be referencing and put them below. 

Jake didn't really seem very convinced when Jane said she DIDN'T have feelings for him, but he just continued along with the conversation, expressing his relief because even if she was lying, he didn't really want to face that sort of thing head on. Jake then goes onto explain the weird shit with Dirk and doesn't exactly seem very interested in him either, but seeing as Jane supposedly has no interest in him, there's a weird sort of obligation going on where he feels he HAS to just let this happen, which doesn't really seem like the common fandom idea that he was like, head over heels for Dirk. There's a vague mention of jokes from "years ago" where they could like each other if Dirk was a girl, but seeing as these are 15 year olds, "years ago" is a pretty vague period of time AND teenagers will say shit like that all of the time! Mostly younger ones, yes, but I think a good portion of teenagers have joked about having feelings for/WOULD have feelings for someone if they were a gal or a guy. Nothing when it came to Jake's behavior was intentionaly shitty or leading Dirk on or anything, because Jake can't always be aware of literally everyone's feelings for him? 

On a vaguely related tangent, I used to be large on the "bi Jake" being canon thing, but just taking the bare minimum look into some of this just makes it seem like he's got no interest in men at all, and his interest in women appears to be from both a jealousy/almost gender envy standpoint (in the way he seems to WANT to be like them,) and a genuine attraction, especially when considering his blue ladies and more specifically, Aranea. (I do not like Aranea/Jake for the record, and if somehow you guys who enjoy that pairing (or any pairing with alpha trolls/anyone who isn't an alphatroll, I'm looking at you Meenkat, Vrismeen and other freaks,) have made it this far, PROSHITS GET OUT!! I am a normal consumer of darkfic not a FREAK!!) I think I can understand those who read Jake as not aromantic, just uninterested in romance with his current issues, but I also thoroughly enjoy reading Jake as arospec as someone who is both arospec AND someone with several arospec friends who like the reading just as much, Jake never seems to take a genuine interest in relationships with anyone, only considering one with Jane or Dirk because they're his friends, and if he's good friends with them, they MUST be good partner options for him. While it's true there can be a good basis on friendship, I don't think the two major Jake ""romance options"" are all that fit even with the basis of friendship, seeing as neither Jane nor Dirk communicate well, and Jake really doesn't either. 

The thing about the base alpha kids (excluding cherubs and any of Dirk's robots, whic includes Lil Hal, despite being a copy of his brain,) is that when it comes to the most prominent "proposed" canon pairings, Dirkjake, Janejake, Dirkroxy, it just seems they only exist because those four are each others only options romantically. Jane likes Jake, so Roxy feels like Dirk is the only option. Dirk, though unlabelled, only has a canon interest in men, so Jake appears to be the only option. Jane seems to like Jake to a degree, but I think that primarily stems from the fact that Jake is extremely kind and caring to all his friends, so she really does see him as HER only option as well. Again, I do think some of the base alpha kids pairings are alright, but that mostly relies on things AFTER the trickster mode section completely explodes all over everyone and the conflicts reach a boiling point. Dirk and Jane make up, and I do think there's something good that could be said about some form of moiraillegiance between the two, because even despite their issues with each other prior to the Dirkjake breakup, they still do care about each other. I also like Jakeroxy as a pairing option, though mostly in a queerplatonic sense, because when Roxy took a step back from any form of romantic interest in Jake because of Jane and later Dirk, Roxy is more capable of having some form of bond with Jake that wouldn't automatically feel like a necessarily romantic thing, and I think their shared caring for their friends and each other could make them closer. The thing about the base proposed pairings between the alpha kids is that, at least in the case of Dirkjake, it's overglorified by the fandom, even if there are ""nuanced"" readings of them. 

This isn't to say that you can't interpret the text however you want, but when it comes to the bare minimum in canon Dirkjake doesn't really work at all. Not as a fluffy pairing, and not as a strange, codependent teenage relationship where they're mutually obsessed with each other and tearing each other apart. Jake has no romantic interest in Dirk. Jake also has a completely reasonable extra reason why, even if he DID have feelings for Dirk, which, according to canon, he doesn't really, they still wouldn't be good together. I definitely understand the value in exploring negative relationships via fictional means, but when it comes to Dirkjake, their conflict isn't complicated, or nuanced, or even really that complex to understand. Dirk didn't know how to properly go through with his feelings for Jake, so he did fucked up shit, and Lil Hal did fucked up shit, and it very easily came crashing down on him. Even without every strange and fucked up thing Dirk and Lil Hal did towards Jake in order to express those feelings, the biggest point of conflict, the decapitated head kiss in front of the volcano, was definitely enough to state that there's nothing really all that great between them, and there's nothing to take from it that really requires or calls for an exploration of the fucked up side of their relationship, because every way I've seen that handled, it's just as full of mischaracterization as fluffy Dirkjake is. I can understand the excitement at "canon gay representation," but at the end of the day, all Dirkjake really is is a one sided relationship between Dirk and a guy who doesn't have any feelings for him outside of platonic ones, a guy who felt an obligation to be with Dirk just because Dirk was his friend. Could that be explored in an interesting and angsty way? Definitely, but that is a Dirkjake interpretation I've seen the least of, if any at all, and that's literally what's set up canonically! 

"But Ro, what about postcanon?" There's a lot to be said about postcanon, and a variety of things that make any form of romantic feelings on Jake's end completely unbelievable to me. For starters, Ult Dirk is in control of postcanon, Alt Calliope is also, to some degree, but anything that may or may not ""confirm"" romantic feelings on Jake's end is being told to us by two unreliable narrators. But also, postcanon is stupid, existed to get Hussie out of debt, and overall was a piece of garbage that didn't do anything for canon whatsoever. So I don't consider it canon. At all. But if you do, the unreliable narrator argument above is for you. 

#jake english #homestuck #homestuck analysis #alpha kids #dirk strider #roxy lalonde #jane crocker #Jake english analysis #hs analysis #hs character analysis #Homestuck character analysis #Ro's Character Analysis Tag

[most-canon-non-canon-ship-poll]

literally hoping they break up in the last season

Why Mileven is shit - a submission-based essay, part 2/3

Mileven - a currently canon het ship from the Stranger Things fandom between Michael (Mike) Wheeler and Jane (Eleven) Ives/Hopper/Byers/IDK

they NEED to breakup (AGAIN) in the final season let's start w their character arcs rn. el was born in a lab and was raised VERY strict to be a weapon and shit. she escapes and now her whole arc is finding herself and being who she is separate to what people tell her she is. mike comes from a lowkey conservative family with parents who are married only to fit into the normal, not because they love each other. his arc, similar to his sisters' struggle in earlier seasons, is to not fall into conformity just because you feel like you should. both of these stories line up with the main moral of the show: be who you are even if it isn't "normal" ot whatever now how does mileven go against this? mike, and a bunch of ppl around el, in the earlier seasons keeps telling el what she should do/be. even in the later seasons we see mike refering to el as a "superhero" (which she doesn't like). neither of them feel free to be themselves around the other (shown by el lying to mike and mike being WAY out of character around el, etc). mike literally can't tell el he loves her while not under pressure. mileven sometimes parallels mike's parents' and sta.cy (a failed conformity relationship) and other bad relationships ANYWAYS it also reallyyyy pains will byers (who's been canonically in love with mike for like years, and mike's best friend) to see this. also, milevens keep harassing will/mike shippers on anon even months after the last season. like they have a hate discord server just for it. anyways i love mike and el but ohhh my god there is still SO much i haven't mentioned about how bad they are together (and how bad shippers often are, sometimes being violently homophobic and calling bylers delusional and shit)

OOOH IT FUCKING SUCKS THEY ARE SOOOOOO BAD FOR EACH OTHER JESUS THEY DON'T COMMUNICATE LIKE EVER THEY ARE BOTH CLEARLY IN IT BECAUSE OF THE EXPECTATION OF A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE THEY CAN'T CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER THEY DON'T SHARE ANY INTERESTS THEY'RE HAVING CONFLICT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT THANK *GOD* I AM UTTERLY CONVINCED THEY ARE HEADING FOR A CANONICAL PERMANENT BREAKUP. NOT TO MENTION THEY ARE BOTH GAY AS HELL TO ME. YOU SEEN THAT "THIS SHIP IS SO CANON AND IT'S A LESBIAN AND A GAY MAN" TWEET? YEAH. FUCK THIS STUPID FUCKING SHIP NOT TO MENTION THE SHIPPERS ARE FREQUENTLY OPENLY HOMOPHOBIC. UGHHHHHHH KILLING BITING (this is my fave btw)

they have no chemistry or buildup unlike the other st couples. they kissed season 1 right after she asked if he would be her brother. hes very obviously compensating for something. i think i gagged when they made out in season 3. speaking of. thats all they do. make out. they dont really have meaningful conversations. this also comes from the fact that when mike met her she was fresh out the lab that abused her for like 11 years. she was not socially ready to understand the bounds of a platonic relationship let alone a romantic one. anyway mileven break up s5 will happen i believe it. if nothing else. cross ur fingers gamers

the sheer homophobia and general toxicity that the fans of this ship create is absolutely insane when their perfect (read: mischaracterized) straight (read: homosexually-coded) couple is judged for having toxic or incompatible elements is insane. the only good romantic aspect between these two characters is in a cringefail "wow this really doesn't work at all" i-want-to-put-this-dynamic-under-a-microscope-and-study-it-because-it's-an-absolute-trainwreck" kind of way. el has been abused and cut off from society her whole life and at 12 years old she immediately gets together with this guy at whose earth shattered after his best friend went missing who then has surviors guilt after she almost does which is misconstrued as romantic rather than unhealthy obsession and trauma. and so on and so forth.. there's just so much wrong they lie to each other So Fucking Much despite truthfulness being very important to them and they ignore their friends to make out (which is filmed in a way that is meant to feel uncomfortable btw lmao) and el doesn't understand mike's trauma from bullying and he doesn't understand how she doesn't want to be built up into being a superhero etc etc. and it's just so increasingly bad I want to rub my temples just thinking about them. they're just so bad for each other and their relationship has done nothing but make them worse in general but for some reason their ship is viewed as fluffy or cute or whatever the hell. anyway mike is so heavily coded to be fucking gay and in love with his best friend (and el can be interpreted to be lesbian coded) and I just need to get them out of there amen

I'm gonna make a list bc the reasons are many: 1) their first casual interaction they get together but in the same conversation she asks him if she can be like a sister to him 2) all their "cute moments" are them making out in the 3rd season with still absolutely no chemistry 3) their only actual cute scene is them dancing at the snowball yet in the same scene they portray the same way two couples that are not romantic 4) mike becomes a terrible person when he's with eleven 5) eleven literally GOT OUT OF A LAB SHE WAS RAISED IN and this is the first guy she dated 6) she can't even say he's a good kisser 7) mike can't tell her that he loves her (bc he doesn't) and the only time he does he makes this whole ugly ass speech up about how she's his "superhero" even though she doesn't want to be seen only for her superpowers 8) in said speech, while listing the things that he loves about her, he only names her superpowers + he lies multiple times 9) EVEN AFTER SAID SPEECH she is still mad at him and won't talk to him (probably bc she saw right through his bs) 10) she spent a whole 6 months lying to him about all of her life 11) mike is clearly gay and is meant to be with his childhood best friend will 12) mike idolizes her and doesn't see her as an actual person 13) eleven needs to be her own person (ffs she just got out of a lab) 14) the ship sucks and even the authors and actors say so

they have NO chemistry. they kissed after one week of knowing each other when they were 12 and eleven didn't even know what a romantic relationship was at the time, given the fact that right before mike kisses her she says "will you be like my brother?". they spent the entirety of season 2 apart with mike calling el on his walkie and el watching romantic movies on the tv for a year (then will is in trouble and mike says 'fuck it' and goes full protective boyfriend mode but this isn't about byler so i digress) and start dating soon after they meet again even though they haven't had a SINGLE conversation and are barely friends. season 3 comes along and the writers do their utmost best to show us how incompatible they are. their makeout scenes are uncomfortable, they break up at the beginning of the season and neither one of them seems particularly bothered that their first relationship is over. in fact, the happiest we see el in the entire series is during the time they're broken up, when she gets close to max (who she actually has chemistry with, by the way) and finally experiences freedom, being a teenage girl and etc since mike had been "keeping her all to himself" for like, a year. aside from that, he doesn't go after her at all after she dumps his ass (literally) but when he and will have a fight, he bikes across town in the rain just to apologize, that boy is GAY. finally, the theme of season 4 is lies and once again, mike and el spend the season apart (once again, mike spends the season with WILL) and right before they part ways, they have a big fight about mike being unable to so much as WRITE "love, mike" on his letters to el, let alone say it, and he bullshits his way through it and refuses to say the actual reason until vol. 2, when he apparently "confesses" that he's afraid he'll lose her if he says it (okay, amigo, you're gonna lose your girlfriend who was literally begging you to say 'i love you' not even a week ago, aham, totally valid excuse). conclusion: they don't know each other and they don't act like themselves when they're together. mike hides his nerdy nature, el feels like she has to be the amazing superhero he's always viewed her as or else he'll lose interest and it just feels like they're both grasping at straws because this relationship has been dragged on for too long that they don't know how to break up permanently. they are afraid of losing each other, but not romantically, as mike was el's first semblance of family after escaping the lab and mike feels like it's his duty to protect and care for el. also, mike is gay. in other words, FREE THEM.

#propaganda #why [ship name] is shit #the (s)hit list #not a poll #anti milkvan #anti mileven #again - #byler #kinda?

[silver-wield]

I just need to share this anonymously because I feel like if I don’t I’ll just get jumped by them for “using my trauma” or whatever bullshit they spin.

I used to like Clerith when I was younger, I was about 9 when OG came out. I didn’t really understand a lot of nuance or critical thinking in writing yet.

As I got older and replayed it seemed really obvious to me the “hints” of setting up Cloti. Even the random slums citizen mentioning like “Oh yeah, we saw you two last night. Childhood friends sureeee”. That went over my head as a kid. That’s just one example.

I wasn’t really involved with the fandom much, but with Remake it reignited my interest and I was happy to go into it with an open mind.

And that’s made me go from Clerith not being my preference, to Clerith being my absolute hate. Like if that was true, it would ruin the entire story for me, levels of hate.

And why? I was a victim of an abusive relationship from my mid teens to early 20s. It impacted me a lot and Aeriths behavior towards Cloud in Remake has been especially triggering for me. I’m not saying Aerith is abusive, but her methods of communication and constant pushing, disrespect of personal space, the whole scene when Cloud tries to leave her house and she doesn’t let him… the way she turns up again after following him. The way she grabs Clouds arm to taunt Tifa. The way she makes snarky comments towards Cloud when Tifa saves her like “See? why can’t you do that!” And just that tone of patronizing him and putting him down.

I just feel like if it was gender swapped and Aeriths role was a guy, people would be up in arms about it. But because she’s this “cute” “sweet” and “clumsy” woman it’s okay? It’s even romanticised? I really hope SE and the creators have a more open perspective on this and correct their course for the rest of the trilogy.

Cloti has always felt more safe and comfortable for me. Tifa never puts Cloud down, she never invaded his personal space and if she ever feels like she has, she immediately backs up. Cloud grabbed her and touched her so much, it was his choice. Tifa was always comfortable with it too.

I don’t understand how people think Aeriths behavior towards cloud is romantic and okay. It’s really not and it’s a disservice to incredible characters and story to keep implementing this fan service shit without thinking of the consequences.

Aerith is legit a stalker. It's toxic AF and anybody who thinks it's okay needs therapy. Nothing she does to Cloud is okay.

#ship war #for the fandom

[hexitca]

Rant about Puritan fandom culture!

Well I typed it on twitter but then I had more to say so tumblr it is!

Under read more

WARNING: Long as fuck

Here's some pics

I know I basically said the author of Heartstopper "brought it on themselves" but yea they kinda did.

You can disagree with BL/Yaoi you can hate the shipping discourse or shipping in fandom in general but you cant frame it in a "i hate [that] bc it's sinful/fetishistic and I'M ABOVE THAT BC I'M WHOLESOME AND BETTER THAN THOSE DISGUSTING SHIPPERS"

bc that's gonna bite you in the ass...as it is doing now. The fucking image of their character's google history is so tame and normal, esp in LGBTQ+ spaces! Yet they are being called a pedo? Crazy. In the end, you only hurt yourself!

I never bothered with HS bc i just wasnt interested in it but thats just my preference. It's sad to see ppl, esp young ppl, turn on a series of LGBTQ+ representation just bc of the author's past (or current? idk) stance on the BL/Yaoi or MLM or whatever genre just bc their stance wavered a bit in a simple comic image. Something that is so fucking normal also! but they will grow up and realized how limiting it is to restrict themselves just to appear pure within a group.

Yet the artists/writers/creators are traumatized by the witchhunt. I know I said the author brought it on themselves for supporting anti but damn I don't want them being accused of being a pedo! Or ANYTHING! NO ONE DESERVES THAT. I dont know anything about the author other than surface knowledge but at the end of the day, all this online shit, doesnt matter. It doesnt! Me saying that is ironic bc im typing this post up right now!

but it's something we care about! I care about fandom spaces, I care that creators are getting attack for something as mild as this even if they invited these ppl into their circle. We're human and we change our views a million times a fucking day. I could agree with one thing and disagree with it another. That's why anti discourse pisses me the hell off! It's just a bunch of bullies looking to make themselves feel better by shaming others! I don't respect that type of behavior. And I hate that they just run around saying shit like "kys" over a two characters fucking?!? It amazes me beyond words.

Fandom has never been without its discourse. But the puritan bullshit is not even fandom discourse, it's just straight up bullying and harassment. It doesnt take much to tailor your fandom spaces to your preferences, i should know ive been in fandom spaces since I was fucking 13 years old. I didn't explore nsfw/porn/anything until I wanted to when I was 18. That is MY personal experience. I never put that on anyone else BUT MYSELF. If I saw nsfw and didnt want to see it I blocked the person. Not make a fucking witch hunt out of it. You are in charge of keeping YOURSELF in check not some person who shared nsfw art/fanfic. How fucking hard is it to turn the "don't show me nsfw" toggle on??? Bc it's not about that. Y'all just wanna be mad and be above someone so why not ppl minding their own business.

And guess what? There ARE ppl who are bad and support nsfw art/writing. They fucking suck. They are outliers and deserve to be called out when they get exposed. But many times, ppl always go "see i told you all the ppl in THAT fandom were pedos/freaks/etc" hmmm sounds like when conservatives go "see...that queer person turned out to be bad, SO all queer ppl are bad" DO YOU GET IT?? It never works out with that line of thinking. You are harming innocent ppl minding their own business. You are harming yourselves when you grow the fuck up and realize that "OH actually...I am curious about sex" and have ppl who you thought were your friends eat your face. PLS wake the fuck up.

If you're an anti:

I hope you recover from that

go fuck yourself

if you're offended by me saying "go fuck yourself", pls take that as a sign to log off the internet and go touch grass. As someone who has done that many of times, it's very refreshing.

#fandom #fandom culture #fandom discourse #purity culture #i might go touch some grass for the rest of the week/weekend holy shit #this is why i try not to be on twitter a lot bc tumblr im at least in my own spaces with minor breaches of stupidity #twitter it just throws it in on my tl and i get fucking triggered and angry #ill be taking a long break from twitter holy shit

[quillinhand]

I’ve seen you post about both the marauders and snape, so I’m assuming you’re a fan of both? Me too!

I sometimes get bummed out at the extent fellow marauders fans go to to exclude our prickly Slytherin. But at the same time I’d much rather those fans who really hate him to just ignore him than stir up hate so…Idk.

My question was: What are your thoughts on the Slytherin skittles? On one hand, it’s kinda laughable to me that these are the Slytherins we’re gonna incorporate into our fandom, while we steadfastly ignore the 5th or 6th most mentioned character in the series. But on the other hand, maybe it opens up the door to the gradual acceptance of Severus… ? if not for his canon character, at least for his fans to feel less unwelcome? Maybe I’m being optimistic, but I’d love to one day post about Snape without worrying that everyone is going to unfollow or block me

Hi!

I'm Snape fan forever and yes, I am currently having a marauder's era obsession phase-honestly I used to look down upon the marauders fandom because of how much their headcanons disregarded the main canon and how much they change the characterizations to the point of incomprehensibility(remus, im looking at you). But I do feel- and have always felt- that the marauders era was ripe with potential, and Tumblr has reawakened that particular obsession.

I get you so much- it's really very upsetting to have people who share some of your interests and shit on your others. do hope that you have friends in the marauders fandom who don't accept snape slander(and if not- i'm always here!!!!). and i understand the wish to have them ignore him altogether- though it does feel a little isolating at times. though not lately for me- thanks to my lovely marauder fan moots :) :).

the slytherin skittles- hmmmm. Let me make a very humble confession. before this ask, i wasn't entirely sure on who they were. im educated now, and honestly i prefer to have the usual marauders era cast be different ages- it just seems very unlikely that this huge cast all went to school together. like i know wizarding britain is small, but excuse me. what the fuck.

that being said, i have come to be fond of the fandom versions of these characters- the rosier twins, barty my bloody beloved, dorcas, regulus black(is that all????) and i do like the idea of them being a group and shit. it's just, them being a group and shit in school just. doesn't match up with my version of the characters, ya know? still, there is wonderful fanfic and fanart out there for them, so. i aint complaining.

but I do feel like them being glorified to such a degree while Snape is right there kind of weird. I mean, absolutely, I don't expect Snape love from the marauders fandom and I don't need it, but sometimes it's kinda confusing how much Snape is passed over in all these fics. Just- I can imagine Snape being an amazing addition to all these fics and imagines, and it does sometimes feel like all the Slytherin characters are just palatable pieces of Snape, which is a bit off putting. still, i am fond of these characters to a degree, so this is less of a complaint and more of something that just confuses me.

maybe. maybe this could be the path to less Snape hate but HONESTLY I'm not holding my breath. Like I said before, I'm not looking for Snape love and content in this fandom, and though I do feel he would be an amazing addition to it, I'm not terribly sad that he isn't a part of it. I'd rather he be ignored than hated, and when he is hated, I'd rather ignore it than focus on it- for my mental health at the very least.

And on the topic of it making the opinion of Snapedom and Snape content less severe- i can see it happening and not happening. I think there will always be people who will dislike Snape and wonder why anybody will like him in the marauders fandom, and as long as they are outspoken, it's going to be a while since we see change. But I can definitely see it going there and am optimistic myself.

and finally, one last not-so-humble word of advice- if you have mutuals or followers who you think will block or unfollow you because of Snape(a FICTIONAL CHARACTER) maybe they are people you don't need. Your blog is your space, and as much as it needs to be a safe space for others, it needs to be a safe space for you too. Post about Snape all you want anon; post about any of your interests- and the people worth thinking about and respecting will stay regardless.

#from the ink well #anon ask #ty for the ask :d #severus snape #marauders era #Snapedom #marauders fandom #the slytherin skittles #harry potter #fandom #sorry this took so long #I'm slow at asks #😭😭😭