#snarky as ever

[bluebells-and-dragonflies]

Imagine Astarion with ears so sensitive that he's never willingly allowed anyone to touch them except for you. Imagine laying next to him in your bed, facing him, lifting your hand up slowly for that first touch. His eyes on yours, the rapidity of the breath he doesn't need to take, but still does reflexively. Seeing that he's nervous, but that he's trusting you, feeling his shaking hand come to rest on your waist. The audible sound he makes- half a moan, half a gasp- when you finally brush your thumb over the soft skin at the tip of his ear.

You trace the long shell of his ear and watch his pretty eyes, deep red like velvet in the moonlight, flutter shut. He says your name softly, as close as you've ever heard him to prayer. You pinch his earlobe gently, and his hips roll forward involuntarily, the jut of his hipbone pressing against your thigh as he makes himself still. Heat flares low in your belly, but you tamp it down as quickly as possible- likewise, Astarion makes himself still against you. This isn't sex and won't become sex, you'd promised each other (though that's not to say that you won't explore this thoroughly during one of your hours-long lovemaking sessions. He is all about experimentation these days, after all).

You lay there, touching him in his most vulnerable place, with reverence and grace and occasionally disbelief that you could be here at all with this beautiful, horrible, ridiculous and wonderful man, that you could be trusted so completely. You take in his every shuddering breath, the flexing of his fingers in your shirt, the softness of his mouth when he presses his lips to yours and tells you he loves you. If you have your way, if he has his, if somehow your utterly insane lives hold together for a year or a decade or ten, it will always be like this.

#astarion x reader #astarion x you #bg3 x reader #astarion x gn reader #astarion x tav #astarion x gn!tav #.astarion #check me never knowing how to coherently end a thought ever in my life #i AM one of those people that advocates for astarion staying snarky and awful even after everything LMFAO #it's just that now he only acts like that with people he thinks deserve it. or when it's funny #that said: with you? snarky and biting sometimes #yes. but also #sometimes #so soft it makes you want to squeeze him to death or something #also...reminder that i take requests...if u like...

[yuridovewing]

i really hate how the fandom’s excuse for jayfeather’s shitty behavior (and outright medical malpractice in certain cases. looking at the time he refused to help squilf in labour bc he couldnt be bothered and later blamed her for how bad it was) is “well the clan was ableist to him growing up, so fuck them!” ok how does that excuse him screaming at and berating the cats that didnt do any of that. or the babies.

#or ‘’well hes snarky and mean! we dont get snarky and mean characters!’’ what are you talking about everyone in this series is an asshole #im also a bit bitter bc you know if he were a she cat then he’d get tons of animations of ocs killing him #ppl (fanon and authors) really really want jay to be this underdog whos just grumpy at best #but in reality hes like. one of the head honchos in the clan. he holds a ton of power over people #sure sometimes the narrative doesnt WANT that to be the case but hes literally gods messenger boy #and is in charge of medical care #maybe im just very familiar with shitty doctors/nurses who abuse their patients and excuse it with ‘’but im stressed :(‘’ #but this character never was endearing to me even before the team switch #jayfeather is not your beaten down blorbo in a shitty retail job hes the nurse making a tiktok about how cringey pregnant patients are #also i just. really despise ‘’but theyre traumatized :(‘’ as an excuse for abusive behavior #did you ever think maybe some of his patients like twigkit were traumatized by his behavior?

[mari-monsta]

New adrinette au where adrien is the ( surpriscingly hot) driving instructor and marinette is the still-hasent-gotten-her-liscence-yet 24 year old who is a horrible horrible driver

#cue antics of marinette being the worst driver adrien has ever seen #and marinette being even WORSE at driving than she normally is #because she was expecting some balding guy or snarky old lady to teach her driving not this adorable kind and patient young dude #anyway its just a lot of marinette being an absolute menace on the road and adrien trying to pretend like hes not fearing for his life #bye anyway im so tired and im sick of working please let ke go home

[sangummeo]

The weights have truly been painted

Still have some polishing to do before I can stick a fork in this project! In the meantime, some pose tests of the beefy lady!

#3d kali archives #kali faurna #character rigging #Kali as snarky as ever

[send-me-a-puffalope]

Being a lesbian is crazy because why did I leave the theatre after watching the FNAF movie drawing hearts around Vanessa’s face in my head and thinking that everyone was gonna love her because she was the most stand out character of the movie (to me).

and then logging on to social media and finding out no one cares about her/actively hates her 😭😭😭

#fnaf spoilers #fnaf movie spoilers #vanessa shelly #fnaf vanessa #SHES MY EVERYTHING #the amount of times i leaned over to my friend to whisper ‘i’ve never been so attracted to her’ #meanwhile she’s just sitting there crying #like <333333 #girl starts crying and it’s over for me #new blorbo unlocked #she’s mine forever and ever <3333 #i love morally ambiguous blonde women with daddy issues #i have a feeling she’s gonna get infected by the furry and don her own lil fursuit soon tho #which hey #i mean #i’m not complaining 👁️👁️ #i support womens rights and womens wrongs #also the wiki describes her as bold snarky and stubborn and my ass was like ??? wait she is???// #you mean my soaking wet cat scrimblo bimblo

[kyouka-supremacy]

We should talk more about Akutagawa seeing Dazai in Atsushi and being revolted by him, that's such a juicy concept to explore

#I'm a strong supporter of Atsushi taking on a lot of Dazai given that he's the first somehow-positive mentor figure he ever had #And like‚ of course he does take from him! You see how high on a pedestal he holds Dazai? #And he's always with him‚ of course he'd end up assimilating some of his behavior. #Not to mention it'd fuel his more snarky‚ sassy side from the first chapters I KNOW is in Atsushi #author don't be a coward give me sassy Atsushi back #Anyways Akutagawa being absolutely repulsed by that side of Atsushi despite loving him?? We love to see it please give me more #Anyways “huddling for 'warmth' ” by averagecerealenjoyer on ao3 #ryūnosuke akutagawa #osamu dazai #atsushi nakajima #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #mine #q. #29/01/23

[snarky-wallflower]

Lucifer: If I had a nickel for each time Adam’s wife liked me much, much better than him, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird not surprising at all that it happened twice.

#he was so smug in that scene #the pure glee I felt at watching that cannot be matched #ever #lucifer morningstar #adam hazbin hotel #eve hazbin hotel #lilith hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #snarky speaks #snarky memes

[starheirxero]

are you... just as insane about toxic yuri lumini(evil lunar x gemini) as I am...

YES VERY ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!

I think about them so much it's ridiculous. There's so many ways you could make them interact and work and I truly think everyone needed to rotate them more because MAN. THEY ARE SO FUN TOGETHER.....!!!!!

To me, they are an untapped enemies to lovers dynamic and I think over half of their gayest moments happen when they are at each other's throats. Gemini with Lunara's arms pinned to the ground specifically so they can sneer about how they can't stand Lunara. Lunara with Gemini under their heel, a deep part of them both knowing that Gemini could push them off at any moment but they stay at their mercy.

They could be mutually crushing and drag out to their fights to spend more time with each other. Only Lunara could be crushing and their taunts come just a little too close to flirting whenever they get the upper hand. Only Gemini could be crushing and they hate how flustered Lunara's smug little grin makes them.

They could be so wholly in love with each other and the first way they will think to show it is to point a weapon to the other's most vulnerable spot and go "look. I could harm you, but I am not. I could end this all right now but I am choosing to let you live. You will do the same for me. I know you will." because fellas truly what is gayer than knowing you should kill your enemy but deciding you like their company too much to finish the job, yk?

#asks #ichangenameseveryfiveseconds #they also seem like the type to kiss like the world is about to end and then get so equally embarrassed/flustered they never talk about- #-it ever again but at the same time they both know deep down that smth has changed between them and they have No idea how to broach it #besides the mutually assured survival as a love language #lunara has the wordy love language in the way that they tease and taunt gemini at every opportunity #they're the kinda person that Never Shuts Up during fights #and gemini's love language is getting them to shut /up/ #(< and that can be in Several ways.) #(a surprise attack. besting them in a fight. being snarky back at lunara. picking them up by the scruff like a cat. a kiss #etc etc etc) #i am normal abt them 😁 (lie) #lumini #lunar x gemini #gemini x lunar #evil lunar x gemini #gemini x evil lunar #evil lunar #laes lunar #laes gemini #tlaes #tsams #< for my own blog organization #xero thoughts and rambles

[10jo10ge]

and also bonus akkun while i was trying to figure out how to draw his hair. regents/pompadours have officially replaced punch perms as my least favorite hairstyle to draw

#mucho my god im so sorry about every snarky remark i've ever said while drawing your hair #tokyo revengers #atsushi sendo

[onlyfangz]

did we all collectively forget that vampires not being able to see their reflection because old mirrors were backed with silver is a tumblr creation that has no basis in any classical texts or?

because the reason vampires cant see their reflections (in classic texts) is because mirrors were considered reflections of the soul, and vampires are soulless, which means regardless of what the reflective surface is, they cannot cast an image.

i'm not a snob, i love modern vampires as much as classic vampires, but please remember that classic vampires are soulless monsters, not misunderstood sadboys of the 00s>.

#charlie.txt #i just saw an astarion headcanon but the way it was worded it was like this was canon lore #it was a harmless hc tho so i didnt want to harass op with nitpicking #but for one dnd5e (and be extension bg3) has its own set of vampiric lore #and for two the silver thing isnt based on any pre established lore in any mainstream media like. ever. #afaik. #they either cant see their reflection or they make a snarky comment about how you shouldnt believe all the fairytales #those are the two modern options in mainstream media #this isnt like. serious. im not upset. #THATS A LIE IM IRKED LMAO. #i just like vampires lol but im not like. stewing abt it. #its my silly little topic im passionate about.

[suntails]

two entire guards and not a single braincell between em

#i jest i KNOW they have thoughts in there somewhere. im almost positive #i drew a ton of cheebs for potential charms once im back to only one job and then promptly hated the art so im redoing them LMAO #i want these two to have a get along shirt. itd drive sebek BONKERS hed be so pissy i want this in my life #and him being pissy would make silver annoyed and hed get snarky and all blunt back at him i REVEL in their interactions #twst #twisted wonderland #twst silver #sebek zigvolt #if these ever get manufactured ill make silver's back side asleep. as a leetle treat. sebek can be angey on the back its fitting #green bitches!!!! the green bitches to EVER

[thethiefandtheairbender]

once again i am telling jesslake infinity train fans to watch the dragon prince on netflix it's just them in a different flavour i swear

feat best quotes ever of

He's my friend. My best friend.

Rayla is kind and good. She's fearless, fast, strong...

I hope you know—I know.

Hey sad prince.

You've got to stay with me!

I would do anything for you.

It doesn't matter what you did before. I just want you to be okay again.

It means I trust her. Unconditionally.

Say the word and I'll go back into that tower with you.

#like just imagine watching jesslake for Many Hours instead of just a few hours #THEY GOT EVEN MORE TRAUMA SOMEHOW TOO #jesslake #infinity train #otp: we're friends and that's real #it's the qpr romantic friendship between lonely snarky girl and less than confident big brother boy #the dragon prince #otp: the most amazing person i've ever met #rayllum

[vaguely-concerned]

I love Malcolm Hawke's first dialogue in Legacy (the one you get if you unbind the shade kept trapped by two seals in a little cell). clearly this whole business was the darkest shittiest time of his life and he's selling his soul and betraying every single one of his principles and everything, but he sounds so endearingly... snippy and exasperated about the wardens using demons willy nilly. the "listen I know I'm up to some shady stuff here and everything but let it not be said I was untidy. I'm fixing your shit as far as I'm able here. you will not be able to pin this one on me. these demons were here before I arrived, this is on the record now" energy. the way he's taking time out of his day to be responsible and enforce mage OSHA regulations in the middle of maybe the most hilariously irresponsible thing anyone's ever done after the magisters tried to break into the golden city. exquisite. the real Hawke family curse is having to specify that actually not all of the catastrophe was your fault okay this is at least like... 30% not on me this time. I. I tried. everything was on fire and I had a children's toy bucket and a bottle of rum on hand

#I've never played Legacy (or Mark of the Assassin) before so I'm having a ball lol #I love snarky!hawke in MotA in that he's such a callous asshole in a very specific and endearing way #it's the *shrug* all of my friends are crazy and most of them are killers what do you want from me here blaséness that does me in #bitch if you want my genuine emotional engagement you're going to have to do much much wilder than this #that and the hilarity of ignoring the call towards noble action tallis tries to pull on you and going 'no. fuck this' and just leaving #brilliant #dragon age #dragon age 2 #I have so many thoughts about malcolm as the ghost who is always hovering over the narrative #especially since it's very much implied your hawke takes after him no matter which personality type you chose #(right down to sharing a voice actor with male hawke -- do you think the twins look over at their brother and almost think #that it's their dad for a moment sometimes? I have feelings and thoughts all over the place) #a ghost varric has only ever met through the reflection he left behind in his children and especially hawke #the ghost of a ghost through the story. so interesting

[u5an5]

Clef this, Gears that. My question is:

What is your favorite obscure character?

#scp #scp character #scp foundation #by that i mean that outside of several specific works they virtualy dont exist and very little/nothing canonwise would change if they didnt #but it wouldnt be the same #you kno what i mean #i for example really enjoyed how crackishly pat from technical issues was written or how snarky rosen from new technical issues could get #but without reading trough tvtropes character page i would never even know they existed #edit: just got trough site-7 series and #when they mentioned in nti that he was busy i wasnt exepecting THAT #you ever see a character become THE character? cause thats what happened to me here #dr alto clef #dr gears #researcher rosen

[doodlegraveyard]

Please give me the Musa Galatea dynamic info I beg of thee

@snarky-and-bitter Oh man. Imagine if your dad sold your dead moms music rights and then some bitch who went on to become an inescapably popular pop idol made her debut singing a song that was only ever supposed to be for you

#snarky-and-bitter #asks #I said how do I give musa the most issues. ever #I have changed the details of musa and her dads conflict w each other #it’s very present and is part of her overarching thing in the first 2 ‘seasons’ basically #winx club rewrite #winx musa #winx club

[formulaonedirection]

Callum’s Big Dick Energy

#callum ilott #i will literally just put any man on this blog #nobody who follows me has ever asked for this #but he cute and his cheekbones are popping and he's so callum about everything #that's amanda's cute snarky gf #nadia's things