#so im not particularly inclined to do better

[tassaonkaikki]

mfw i cant rely on my hyperfixations to keep me mentally okay: 😃

#my main current hyperfixation has taken a dip for the last few days and its stressing me out #maybe since ive been stressed its dampened all this? #i never realised how much i relied on it #im sure itll resurface but. god. #also today (technically yesterday. its 12 something am now) has been so fucking stressful #the vibe has been off lately #i just want to blog about a silly finnish man and a silly slovenian band but like i dont #i dont feel particularly inclined to like i normally do #im scared #i dont want to go back to how it was before this hyperfixation started #it better come back. you better come back #no wonder why i felt kolme toivetta so deep in my soul today #sä annoit mulle kolme toivetta / mutta oli yks ja ainoa / älä mee. älä mee. älä mee

[kabutoraiger]

fun find at the used bookstore the other day since their horror section is usually pretty sparse. had to stop myself from saying Holy Fuck out loud upon picking it up and seeing that guy. retro horror book covers you will always be famous to me

as for the actual stories inside,

son of celluloid - really cool concept of a monster in a movie theater that can like send your ass to the Movie Dimension and shapeshift itself into old film stars to lure you in with a beloved face and gets stronger the more it is "perceived"

however i really did not understand part of the lore of this creature which was that it partially grew out of cancer cells...?? what does that have to do with the rest of this... and unfortunately this story gets bogged down with the central POV character who is a fat woman, which is obviously fine, but like half of her narration is just thinking about how she hates being soo fat and how men aren't into her which is just. :/

also it made me question if clive has ever actually seen dumbo. dumbo's ears were his notable feature, my guy. that's kind of the whole thrust of the film.

rawhead rex - this is the only one i'd heard of in advance and it's certainly... memorable.

again the idea here is kino with this beast from ancient times being unleashed on this blase little british town and kind of plunging them back into a more primal state of being. the descriptions of rawhead and especially of him eating the children is like. viscerally freaky and horrible.

but the decision to write some scenes from the POV of rawhead himself is... i dunno. like i do think the story would feel a bit unfinished without his perspective so it's more How they're written, i guess, in this very normal voice that just makes him come across as a simple animal crossed with a petulant cruel teenager or something, and thus kind of ruining his scariness. maybe that was part of the intention and i just didn't fully get it? to me it would've been better for his POV to read as very stylized & different from the humans somehow.

and god i wish there didn't have to be so much piss involved. the demonic watersports scene got me staring off into the distance with a tired resignation

confessions of a pornographer's shroud - relatively simple ghostly revenge story. due to being told in big part from the POV of the ghost i can't call this one particularly scary, but the base idea of taking the silly halloweencore ghost wearing sheet and turning that into an actual serious haunting is fun.

scapegoats - a ship gets beached on a creepy little island they hadn't even noticed on the map which turns out to be a burial ground for tons of unidentified bodies who washed up there during the world wars.

the ending bit of this one was pretty effective but i can't get over my disappointment that this island wasn't more like lovecraftian in origin, which felt plausible based on initial descriptions of it. half alive corpses are scary sure but i wanted At The Shitty English Island of Madness instead.

also there's one part that felt straight out of one of junji ito's weirder oneshots which made me laugh out loud and im not sure the humor was intended.

human remains - sex worker goes home with a guy and finds some kind of sentient human sized statue in his bathtub which then proceeds to start following him around and taking on his identity & exact appearance.

probably my favorite in this book which feels odd to say since it's the least horror out of them. the MC's reaction to this creature eventually becomes almost friendly or loving, and the creature is polite and well spoken and though it kills people it generally only does so to live. very interesting. a story that it's difficult to imagine a straight author writing. could probably read some layers of metaphor into it if you were inclined

#oryx's book review corner

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY: Something that will forever bother me is that I thought they would change their outfits. I dont like v7 outfits too much so wehn I saw they might be on a beach. I thought, 'Cool. Maybe they'll remove some layers of theit WINTER outfits and they might look better.' BUT NO. I thought weiss and blake would lose their jackets, yang gets a ponytail, im not sure about ruby, shes fine ig. But still pretty unhappy. oh well

Yang in a ponytail, my beloved. So near and yet so far 😭

I get that it takes more time, effort, and of course money to create the new models (even overlooking the fact that RT is no longer the struggling startup it once was...) but for me, missing details like that really hinder my sense of immersion. They don't actively take me out of the story, but they don't help me stay tethered to it either, which is much more of a problem when the writing is struggling like RWBY's is.

As I mentioned in another post, I've started Demon Slayer (which is excellent) and little moments with clothing really help the storyworld to feel real. Why doesn't Tanjiro's uniform tear during all those intense battles? Oh look, here's a scene with his mentor explaining precisely how that's possible. Why doesn't Inosuke's mask fall off? It does after a particularly vicious headbutt, finally revealing his face. Here two of the characters are removing their outer layers to give someone a pillow and blanket. Here they are changing into a new set of clothes while their uniforms are washed. Zenitsu hangs onto others' robes when he's particularly scared, pulling them askew. Inosuke wears or doesn't wear a shirt depending on the situation. People comment on the bamboo in Nezuko's mouth. Tanjiro's earrings are slowly being revealed as significant... Clothing is a part of the characters and the story actually treats it as such.

In contrast, RWBY has lost almost all of that work despite starting out as a series built around the thematic significance of outfit colors. Not even their weapons, tools through which the ENTIRE conflict is built around, are given any true acknowledgement anymore, not when Weiss finds hers in a heartbeat offscreen, getting Blake's back becomes fodder for jokes, Ruby shows no inclination to get Crescent Rose back (with, more significantly, her teammates ignoring that uncharacteristic passivity), and Jaune apparently has never tried to mend his sword. Only stealing Yang's arm is even somewhat significant and likewise treated in a jokey, ultimately-unimportant-to-her-development manner.

Now take into consideration everything they DON'T do, including reacting to the tropical nature of the Ever After. Give me scenes where Yang puts up her hair, Blake takes her stockings off, Ruby tears the sleeves off her shirt, Weiss cuts her skirt to make it shorter, and she and Yang both loose their jackets because holy shit it's hot here. Also we're literally lost in a parallel fantasy world, maybe dead, who gives a crap how we look or if we need to buy new clothes later?? Give me the girls pulling off extra layers to cushion Ruby's head after her faint. Let them tear off a strip to bind a wound. Who's going to trade something like their jewelry to gain what they need? (Something we did get with Ruby's rose pendant, but it happened so fast and with no emotional punch it was just frustrating. Great idea, terrible execution.) Who's going to pick up new pieces while traipsing across the Ever After, perhaps visually signifying their acceptance of the place (something we could have gotten with Ren in Atlas)? Who's outfit gets scorched or torn or soiled because unlike Demon Slayer, there's no canonical reason for why these clothes should still be looking pristine after all they've been through?

Obviously RWBY doesn't have to do all of this, but it should do something to sell the idea that these are real people post-battle, traveling a hostile, tropical-esque land after they've been prepped for the ARCTIC. Keeping them exactly the same doesn't help me fall into the fantasy of watching RWBY, it just makes me go, "Oh, they probably want new outfits for Volume 10, so they're not bothering to change anything now :/" The viewer is already well aware that Volume 9 is a filler season that's struggling to be significant in the grand scheme of things. You don't want anything that's going to add to that feeling.

To use an old meme:

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

[dichotomousvariable]

hiiiii! i'm kat (she/her) and this is my son wooseok!

i'm super excited to be here and really looking forward to plotting!!

i will probably be faster to reply on disc (thegongoozler) but tumblr ims are fine too if you prefer. you can find his about here. i'm still working on his bio, but it's in a sort of bulleted form here for a basic timeline!

y'all know the drill. infodump and potential plots under the cut!

wooseok was born in new york city and lived there until he was about 12, so he's fluent in english as well as korean (his parents raised him speaking both).

wooseok is an only child, and as such, his parents were always heavily involved in his business, for better or for worse. (usually for worse)

he's still kinda scared of his dad but that's another story.

as far as they know, he's just doing a single program for comp sci, but he picked up the dual degree for music theory ... haha oops

follow your passions, kid (he feels very guilty for lying.)

wooseok's power is telepathy, it manifests for him in two ways: hearing others' thoughts and memory viewing

hearing others' thoughts happens automatically (when he doesn't have a patch), and can very quickly get overwhelming

as such, wooseok likes to keep the patch on as much as possible. it's really hard to enter a room and hear like 20 people as if they're talking aloud

"hey wooseok, you ok?" "I Can't Hear You" (the room is silent)

he's trying to get better at dealing with it/tuning some voices out, because he knows using the patch as often as he does isn't safe. when he really focuses, he can sometimes get them to quiet to a manageable level, but it never completely goes away, and it takes a lot of brainpower.

he doesn't know this for sure, but practice does make perfect in this case! come, be his friend, help him grow! make him practice instead of just hiding!

so the first time he used a patch was like the first time he experienced silence and he's still chasing that high

the secondary application of his telepathy--the memory viewing--is more of an ordeal. it requires sustained physical contact, is very tiring, etc

for subplot, he's the treasurer for together for daehan! realistically, his thoughts/opinions fall somewhere between the two groups, but he's been in this position for a while and... he doesn't like change.

generally he's a friendly guy, and he wants to make more friends.

he can sometimes come across as standoffish though because when that patch starts to run out he has a short period of time before things get too overwhelming (or he's just focusing really hard on keeping others quiet)

potential wanted plots...

wooseok needs friends, particularly friends who won't let him get away with cancelling plans as much as he probably does

as mentioned above, friends that help him to practice being okay without nullivi could be fun!

people who are musically inclined to do jam sessions with and bond over music!

he really loves video games and WILL play them with your muse! he will also ask if they want to play fun little games he coded as projects.

friend who would see him slapping a fresh patch on super fast and be like "dude is that safe"

idk there's always shenanigans with telepathy/hearing thoughts. if your muse so much as thinks a compliment he's gonna blush so that's fun

i'm cool with pre-est, discussion, anything! i love plotting so please come at me with anything and everything

#nm:intro #he is such a mess pls #like hey man #your power isn't going to hurt anyone why are you so scared #anyway yes hi hello i'm excited! #edit added some basic bio link

[dizzybizz]

ok i need someone elses (especially- but not exclusively- other afab autistics, cis or trans) thoughts on this shit cause im losing my goddamn mind i just have so many feelings about gender and its fucking me up

ok so.

ive always sorta felt disconnected with my gender and i dont think me being autistic helps with it either. what with trying to pinpoint feelings and all that being hard. and it has i guess planted a lot of doubt surrounding my thoughts and feelings about my own gender in my mind. i question if everything im feeling is just bc im autistic. which is why im making this post!! i just need some outside perspectives and thoughts and i guess i want to know that im probably not alone in my struggles with this.

idk how i wanna structure this post but ill just write down the things that come to mind.

like before i hit puberty i was not into the idea of it at all. and before i had considered the fact that i might be trans, i thought it was just because i didnt like the thought of change. and i think thats normal, being hesitant about puberty.

BUT uhm. now im not religious. but i vividly remember praying to god that i would at least be as late a bloomer as possible. if not, never ever going through afab puberty. and i always felt more inclined towards amab puberty, and i thought it was a MUCH better deal than whatever afab puberty was going to do with me.

and i feel really silly writing this cause that does not sound like something a normal cis girl would do or think... and i feel quite confident in me being not cis. but i guess this is just a post to seek some validation in my suspicion and feelings. but i also want to know if it is an experience others share.

my gender thoughts as i call them have been particularly prevelant since 2019, thats when i think i first started contemplating whether i might just actually be trans. at that time i believe it was more towards the non binary, but nowadays its ftm

and i just idk. im kinda lost and lonely here, i havent talked about with any family members which are the people i spend most of my time with currently. i wanted to get the perspective of people who are also autistic and might relate to the gender feelings and yeah

and ok no sorry, jumping back, cause its always at its worst before and during shark week (like right now :)) and that has also thrown me off quite badly

cause what if its just pms, or just some kinda hormone imbalance or some shit like that. am i crazy cause sometimes i feel like im driving myself mad with this stuff. is it common to have really intense thoughts about gender anytime your period is about to kick in.

also growing up with a younger brother (who also has a whole ass army of guy friends) when you have these thoughts is fucked up ngl who allowed this. youre telling me he gets to just get that puberty for free. fucking hell wtf

sorry i lost it pls just idk tell me your thoughts wherever, replies, i think im turning off reblogs for this but, my inbox or dms anything ok thanks so much, means the world

#is it a bad idea to wordvomit in the middle of the night about gender and post it. maybe. but im not the smartest now am i :P #sorry no but in all seriousness i just need validation i think... #and uhm yeah :) #what do i even tag this with uhh #autistic #actually autistic #transgender #uh sure #i wanted to put more little specific experiences but this was really emotionally draining and it is 1am and ive been writing for an hour no #ALSO I DO THINK MY AUTISM AFFECTS MY EXPERIENCE AND RELATIONSHIP WITH GENDER IN A WAY I CANNOT PUT INTO WORDS. BUT YEAH #and i know its common for autistics to be non cis okt hats all thx

[noblebs]

🏷️🎁🤲👨‍👩‍👧‍👦💘

thank you Kraken! 🖤 I'm just going to keep answering these for Orion, I'm sure everyone's sick of hearing about him by now but Im not ready to talk in-depth about my two newer characters yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

🏷️: What is their full name? Do any of their names have any special meaning? How did you come up with them?

haha his full, complete, real name is just Orion. he tacked on Murphy as a surname to blend in better with humans, but it has no significance tbh

it’s just a name Ive always really really liked the shape & sound of, I briefly thought about renaming myself Orion before I picked Skylar so it was still fresh in my mind when I was making him

🎁: If they needed to give a friend a gift, how would they go about choosing one? Would they buy it, make it, or do something else? Would others consider them good at gift-giving?

ooh Orion would probably be great at gift-giving, but she does it very rarely. I think fae consider giving gifts uncouth at best* so it's not her first inclination, but yeah if she decided to do it she'd look for something she knows would be meaningful/relevant to their interests and personalize it in some way on top of that. you better believe if she's going to do something it's going to be over the top

*fae are all about social contracts and interpersonal debts, so giving a gift without expecting something in return is like walking up to someone and saying, "I do not want to be friends with you." fortunately Orion has assimilated into human society well enough to know that they fucking love it when you do that

🤲: Do they have any deep desires that they don't talk about and/or don't even realize they have? Do these desires conflict with their main goal at all?

ohohoho okay so, Orion has wanted to become human for ~20 years because of the death of her human lover. she has deliberately gotten herself stuck and refuses to let herself grieve + move forward

but she's just about reached a breaking point. you can't dwell in grief and loss forever, eventually something has to give. so deep down, part of her wants to just let it go and move on, but she's terrified of doing so because she doesn't know what else to do with herself

she's also desperate for intimacy and love/acceptance, but she can't bear the thought of another loss, so she either pushes people away or holds them so tightly they get sick of it and leave on their own. these are not feelings I can relate to or have drawn from any experiences btw

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦: What is their family like? Are there any family members that are particularly influential and/or important to them (whether in a positive or negative sense)?

I am so proud of what I've come up with for Orion's family! so he has 3 parents - Aries, Fornax, and Lacerta. yes their family members must always be named after constellations. he probably has a couple grandparents floating around, but he's never met them, and no siblings. his parents were his whole world growing up. I could write essays about each of them, suffice to say they are very loving but Aries and Fornax just can't understand why she's all hung up on non-fae people, Lacerta is more supportive but also has a more hands-off approach to parenting

💘: Do they have a "canon" romantic partner? If so, who is it and what is their relationship like? If not, what kind of person would be the optimal romantic partner for them (the most interesting narratively, not necessarily the healthiest/what they think their preferences are)?

in writing, no, and as much as I want to write a subplot for that, I feel weird about doing so BECAUSE

in game, there's this one motherfucking NPC who was introduced in I think our 3rd session. I adore him but I'm worried I as a player have missed my chance lol. if Orion doesn't get to be obsessively codependent with this depressed demonic senior citizen then what's the point!!

#oc orion murphy

[sllowshow]

jameson and orla :)

how did they meet? it's not incorrect to say through their siblings dating, but they weren't technically introduced by zoë and monty. while maybe it was their being together that had made jameson follow zoë on instagram. it was fate, something bigger than all four of them that compelled him to check his instagram stories while he was waiting in a fortnite lobby, and get his first glimpse of her: a picture of orla and her sisters, at the beach, all tagged. she sat on the edge of their picnic blanket, sunkissed with curls peeking out from beneath her hat. he shut his xbox off after a minute or so of scrolling through her grid. it was simply time to lock in and slide into her dms posthaste. and he's got the game of a man who's too dumb to care if he sounds cringey. the rest was history <3

who is more affectionate in public? in private? probably jameson for both. i think he's kind of touchy and like will not be stopped just because they're in public versus private. within like reason (although i'm sure her parents would disagree. sure they've probably seen more than they'd care to one year after the sun went down at aaron's famous fourth of july party.

who is the bigger romantic openly? secretly? i think orla both. i think jameson claims loverboy status but like. i dont know i feel like his love is very of the moment if that makes sense. but orla's got a more romantic view of like the world at large. like she's got the heart for beautiful spring days and fresh fruit and im maybe too high to be doing this. it's okay.

who is more likely to plan something big for valentine’s day? not to immediately pull a Both but both.... i think they get excited about planning stuff like that together. like orla's researching restaurants they can try and get a seat at, jameson's all excited to take her roller skating or something corny like that. like i think they loveeee a good date night. and trust they're all well documented. these people have the most massive digital footprints.

who is more likely to initiate hand-holding in public? handholding specifically? probably orla. i think that feels sweetie and fun and her style. jameson's more inclined to like arms around the waist or shoulders.

who is more likely to make huge declarations of love in front of other people? i don't think either of them would like particularly struggle with that kind of thing. but i do think jameson is one of those guys who gets wasted and feels the need to give a speech about the girl who changed everything. so do with that what you will.

who developed a crush on the other first? jameson he was simply down bad from square one. because he's been generally stupid and impish in the past, i think they were a pair that raised some brows at first, but she literally held all the power there babey.

who is more likely to send cutesy texts to the other? orla. jameson lacks the reading comprehension. but again i cannot stress enough she is adorable.

who spends time reading their zodiac compatibilities? orla again! mama's in tune with the universe. she's keeping an eye on what the stars have ordained. jameson will proudly claim he is aries, the bull.

who tends to get sick more often? who is better at taking care of the other? jameson gets sick more often which works because orla is better at taking care of him. he's well intentioned but ultimately would need to be like. explicitly told what she needed in the way of care when i imagine she'd already have the perfect soup in mind from the first sniffle.

who believes in soulmates? they both do and i mean it. i think in their own ways they share a very similar philosophy and part of that is having always believed their was someone they were meant to be with, someone that makes them a better version of themself, someone they can share life with. like corny on purpose what they believe. and i think its beautiful that they found each other.

who cooks the dinner, and who washes the dishes? orla cooks ^^ jameson has never eaten this many vegetables before in his life. its overwhelming sometimes. he will wash the dishes tho.

who does the majority of the driving? jameson simply insists that is his job. and she's his darling passenger princess.

whose family do they celebrate more holidays with? orla's. the hanna's have a massive gravitational pull. but for real, i think like the reids are decently close but definitely not as tight knit as the hannas and their web of family friends who all want to celebrate together. i think for a number of holidays, they're happy to invite his parents to join them as well, but i think they've staked the claim on hosting.

do they have any personal holiday traditions together? they're matching christmas pajamas people and they're gonna stay in those pajamas for as long as physically possible whenever they're celebrating. its that, cookies from the hanna family baking sesh, and cartoon christmas movies all day.

if they get married, what was the wedding vibe? summer wedding. ceremony maybe even on the beach. i think she wore some gorgeous drapey gown and he probably didnt wear a jacket or maybe even a tie. twinkle lights at the reception energy. i dont think they really stressed on it much. like i think they were mostly just excited to be doing it and having a party with all the people they loved so the details didn't matter as much.

how did they decide what to name their child(ren)? i think jonas and emmeline were both proposals from orla. i think jonas pretty closely aligns with jameson's sesnsibilities, but he is the culprit behind calling her emmy.

[max1461]

im dumb, too autistic and ocd to read and also stupid. what was kropotkin specifically wrong abt? is there any anarchist writer you'd recommend?

The main anarchist thinkers I've read anything by are Kropotkin, Bookchin, James C. Scott, and Noam Chomsky. All are interesting in their own way, and I'd recommend them all. I don't agree with any of them on everything, but I think if you find a writer you agree with on everything it is very likely that you're not engaging with them in a productive way. Nobody is right about everything.

What Kropotkin gets wrong, IMO, is that he appears to believe that humans only behave competitively because of the competitive systems we live under; that antisocial behavior and competition are products of capitalism and the state. He's not entirely wrong—humans are, I'm pretty sure, way more cooperative and good-willed than your average conservative gives them credit for being. People do, in fact, help each other expecting more or less nothing in return. And capitalism does actively disincentivize this, so we might fairly expect it to be more widespread in a non-capitalist system. Where he falters is in the assumption that you can base on entire society on this kind of natural good will.

For one thing, I think it's unjustified to assume that all or most self-interested competitive behavior is born of capitalism, and that in the absence of capitalism (and in the presence of sufficient cultural shifts) these sorts of behaviors would become minor enough not to worry about. That's a pretty strong claim about human nature! A claim I'm not sure Kropotkin can back up...

In addition, even supposing that all or most self-interested competitive behavior was born of capitalism, it remains the case that self interest is not the only source of competition. People have different visions of justice, different visions of an ideal world, different visions of fairness, different visions of what they and their loved ones are rightly owed, etc. Even a society of people totally unengaged in the kind of self-interested competition that is the core of capitalism will still find themselves competing over scarce resources, because "how should scarce resources be put to use" is not a question with an obvious or widely-agreed upon answer even among pro-social altruists. Thus, Kropotkin's implicit claim that in the absence of oppressive and competitive structures, people will just organize naturally to distribute scarce resources in a fair and just way looks untenable—nobody can agree on what a fair and just way would be!

Kropotkin wants to undo the present order of things, and let humans' natural inclinations for self-government and pro-social organizing create a new, organic order from the ashes. And certainly this is possible, but the assumption that this organic order would be better than the present one is, I think, founded on some very strong and not particularly well justified beliefs about human nature.

The idea is still very compelling though, and to be honest Kropotkin is just quite a good writer. You should read the Conquest of Bread, even if you disagree with his conclusions. He paints a compelling picture of a better world, does some interesting calculations about Victorian-era land productivity, invents the concept of a hackerspace, points to a few successful and interesting examples of organizations structured along anarchistic lines, and has some interesting stuff to say (probably said elsewhere more clearly, admittedly) on market inefficiencies. He was also a biologist, and his work on mutualism (though clearly infused with his politics) still forms the groundwork for the generally accepted theory of how it evolved. So that's neat.

#society #navel gazing

[el-im]

personally it's hard to feel excited for snw when it just feels so hollow? im not sure if it's the pacing or what but it feels ungenuine? and beyond that people's characters feel rushed? like i know hemmer had to be replaced but like we could've spent way more time on his character! he was interesting! (i might be biased bc i love the andorians) and not even touching whatevers going on with spock. or chapel. this is the least of my grievances but when they put that black undershirt on pikes green wraparound...hate crime.

yeah, I mean. whatever. I watched it in a single sitting when I was sick and it beat laying in bed looking up at the whitewashed ceiling.

I agree the exposition of characters seem very rushed. It kind of violated the “show, don’t tell” rule, particularly w la’an, who was kind of put in a position that needed her to air her dirty laundry in front of the whole crew. I wish they’d had time to create narratives around past experiences, kind of like they did with Kirk/Tarsus in TOS, in which his participation in a historical event was made relevant by whatever was going on in the ep. (This was kind of(?) done in the Jurassic Park Knockoff Ep they did but not super successfully). I do believe it’s a pacing issue.

That said, I will say that I appreciate it being (more, at least, than the other new treks I’ve seen… which is… only Picard) episodic. I love that they’ve got some new task to handle, some new planet to explore in each ep. In that sense, it’s much more similar to TOS than I could have hoped for, general relationship arcs aside. (But wrt pacing, sometimes I think this works against them bc of how the show is written. They could do a self contained so w a lot of backstory in TOS, but bc of how this show is written, it’s more difficult to accomplish all that in a single ep. Like M’Benga’s daughter? In that specific instance I wish they’d shown him talking about her in previous episodes, and people asking if she was back on earth w his partner or… and him going quiet. Or Hemmer trying to fix the medical transporter in an earlier ep and him freaking out, but not having that immediately resolved… the same goes for discovering Una is… whatever species she is. Would have LOVED to see some xenophobia first—the crew making jokes when they come across some anomaly that it must have been caused by them, or something, and her looking uncomfortable/chastising them/whatever. Or the demonstrated persecution of them broadcast from some federation planet… if we had more context for these stories, if their roots were better established, they’d land harder. But they don’t). So sometimes that episodic formula kind of works against them, but ! like I said. whatever.

frankly, I was ambivalent abt the whole enterprise (la de da) to begin with, so wasn’t expecting much and was pleasantly surprised by it, on the whole. A friend of mine has seen Disco and didn’t think I’d enjoy it, so I haven’t seen that, and I’m not inclined toward watching animation if I can help it so haven’t seen LWD or prodigy, the second of which is literally made for babies but. Yanno. I liked SNW. I didn’t love it, I don’t agree with a lot of decisions they made, but I can see their intentions/where they’re coming from. I LOVE this spock, though think you have to see him as separate from the Spock we see in TOS (like in AOS, you kind of have to appreciate their differences as characters, and learn to love them not as the same person, but as branching extensions from a stem). I also LOVE Pike. I had a lot of hopes about him going into it because I thought the original storyline for him in TOS was done so well in that two part ep that included the original footage from “The Cage”, and I think they did an excellent job tailoring Mount’s Pike to the character laid out there, all the while fleshing him out into a fully fledged captain.

further, I’ve gotta say, I love the antics/shenanigans, and how much everyone seems to like each other. I don’t get the point of rough and tumble, cynical sci fi 24/7. (I do—it has its place, but it shouldn’t be in Star Trek). Even DS9, which as we all know tackled huge narratives abt power dynamics and prejudice and genocide… had episodes where they played baseball. And fishing mini games. Picard, which I’m comparing it to bc, again, it’s the only other trek I’ve seen that’s been produced since AOS (I think), seems similarly jam-packed with shit. Ohh the Borg and here and so are the romulans and Deanna’s son died somehow and the Android suppression as a weird metaphor for ?? Revolution? Workers rights? Idfk? And there’s time travel and fascism and section 31 and corruption at the highest levels of Starfleet which only peepaw and his dog, tintin, can root out. And there’s his mother, for some fucking reason, and-

And it’s all horrible. Everyone’s cynical and mean and/or gratingly stupid/infantile (AGNES!!!!!!). It was refreshing to see something that… wasn’t… that.

#I didn’t care abt hemmer at all though so I can’t really speak on that point #I think conceptually it would have been neat to have an aenar onboard but frankly I think ent did more w the aenar in their last terrible #season by establishing them culturally than snw did by having an individual #who had maybe like 4 lines ?? before dying? I just didn’t care #I liked his relationship w Spock and their little carrot scene but that’s the only memorable interaction he had to me #asks #trek #am surprised by the Spock/chapel thing cause I think how it was presented in TOS was excellent. #her loving him and never saying anything. he feeling respect and affinity for her but not having/being willing to express anything beyond #perfectly done. and they both have to take that in stride because they’re professionals and have bigger fish to fry yanno #so I dislike that this is coming up as something so soon in their lives #when I think it’s something chapel should have been aware of then but let it steep and simmer #because the way we see it in TOS. It’s like resignation. #knowing she’s kind of. condemned to feeling that way. #but. #I’ll say again #I think comparing it to TOS isn’t the way to go and it’s got to be something in its own right #I’m excited for the second season! again. not touched by every character but didn’t really hate anyone #looking forward to cherry picking what is canon to ME #and throwing the rest away

[heavenlyyshecomes]

asking 4 advice: one of my friends has texted asking if i want to go out with her and idk how i feel abt it. she's a delightful person but honestly i dont actually know her that well and dont feel particularly inclined to strike up smth romantic. but also i haven't acc been in a relationship before so idk what it is im supposed to be feeling or how im supposed to know i want 2 go out with someone. what do i do lol

hmm my main advice here would've been to say no but also if u feel like u dont know "how" you're supposed to feel i'd kinda say to go for it? it depends entirely on how close you are to your friend like do u think if after 1-2 dates if u dont feel something and u said that would u both still be okay being friends ? honestly just go with your gut feeling if it's a no then it's a no (also please don't let a lack of experience dictate ur choices i promise there will be better opportunities bc otherwise you'll just end up stuck in a situation u don't like!) also it wouldn't be fair to her either. if it's not a hard no Maybe u can say yes and have fun w it but know that u can always opt out of it. but all the best with whatever u do !!

#asks

[sewercentipede]

@khfanforall doing this as a post instead of reply cuz the reply word limit will be annoying

yesss that album is one of my all time favorites and it was like it was *made* for ketamine it’s crazy. I think they were channeling the spirit of ket when they made it or something cuz idk what else could explain how perfect they go together.

anyway so, forgive me for these descriptions it’s been a long time since Ive used ketamine regularly enough for this to be as easy as it might’ve been when I was (using regularly) . It’s also damn hard to describe, the more I try lmao , as probably all dissos are

at low doses: physical coordination like walking is a little but affected, like a little stumble here and there nothing extreme. emotionally, a muting of emotions that aren’t contentment (like getting buffs to your mood and appreciation for nothing/everything). also feels like you have your face and head a little bit stuffed with cotton, physically but also emotionally? kinda like the numbness after going to the dentist for a cavity filling but everywhere, and nowhere near as extreme. probably because ur feeling mild dissociation particularly to unpleasant sensation. physical pain is dulled, though not completely gone.

low-mid dose: visually hard to focus on objects, and mild disorientation/dizziness if u try to look around too fast or move too fast/change positions too fast. physical coordination more affected, like being drunk (not wasted though). physical pain is dulled much more. feeling emotionally more free; this can mean a few different things, like happiness, nostalgia/missing ppl, feeling more connected to life and other ppl thoughts can become entheogenic, psychedelic or weed-like but without any anxiety or paranoia. in a club you’d be more loosened up, inclined to dance freely and feel at one with ur surroundings.

mid doses: visually harder to focus/see and need to close one eye to see better tho idk if that works lmao. walking is fucking difficult. Objects start to take on different shapes than they are, visually and mentally in a way that mimics the feeling that they are physically changed. Some recent examples: my phone looking like Tetris pieces or looking like a blackberry(the cellphone) even though I’ll be typing on it as normal, or my keyboard becoming spherical in shape. but again can type on it find just feels like I’m typing on a sphere. Stronger feelings of joy, interconnectedness, disorientation, or deeper nostalgia, is possible. pain is more dulled, probably numbed at this point.

mid-high doses: hallucinations of environments, body position, self, objects, etc completely changing. eg: one time for a few minutes I “became” a Japanese girl with Lolita fashion using a flip phone and sitting in a pink bedroom full of sanrio products in my minds eye. environments will morph especially (i call ketamine an interior designer because the room im in will look completely different and I’ll just watch it evolve into different architectural designs with different objects in it). It’s all extremely detailed. Moving, like to change position, is difficult, and walking extremely difficult if you can even manage to at All. physical pain sensation is basically now completely numbed or transformed into feeling pleasurable instead.

high dose: k-hole. unaware of ur body completely, it doesn’t exist. basically out of body experience but not watching urself or anything…. Ur somewhere else, moving through different spaces, places, dimensions, dream-like scenarios, but in such a way that you’re like just there for the ride. ur not in control of where the ride goes and you kinda have no idea what’s going on but ur sense of detachment allows you to appreciate how beautiful and fascinating it is to watch/experience as it happens, and some people (like me) experience extreme euphoria for the entirety. like indescribable euphoria, better than mdma imo. it’s also often very geometric visually, with the sensation that ur moving, but no real physical sensation. (It is possible to go in and out of the k-hole if ur body really freaking requires it- like I had to throw up while in it but once (ketamine vommies) and that pulled me back into my body-- in this state walking is fucking impossible. So I had to crawl to the bathroom, which was nearly impossible and each movement took every ounce of effort. while going in and out of the hole. So that was interesting.)

tried to be accurate as possible here but again it’s been a while since I’ve really sat thru each of the dose stages because I generally only use these days for crohns pain relief (low to low-mid dose range) or to go straight into a k-hole

#ketamine #drugs

[studyspiration-coffee]

i feel like ive come on here a lot over the years to vent about when things got bad, i was super stressed, and generally just struggling under the pressure i put myself under particularly in year 12. and of course there have been up and downs but i did just want to say that recently, but even just since starting uni, i am and have been a lot happier! i can handle the stress of deadlines a lot better because i promised myself after i graduated to never put myself under that much stress and tie who i am to academics and work ever again. i’m busy and i’m working but when i tell you day to day life has been sublime, the routine of going to uni, going to work, doing work but also, reading on public transport, long video calls with my friends, getting coffee with friends before class, going to the cinemas again. life is good! even when things are difficult because i know it passes and i can just get through until i can breathe again. year 12 me would be very proud, but also surprised i think. to be honest, me over the most recent summer would be quite surprised. im unsure how this all happened. maybe the result of all these little steps to get better, to feel better. i dont know why this got so long, i just felt very inclined to record it. i’m happy. i’m better. i’m doing what i like and on even on days where i’m none of these things i can still manage to acknowledge it, dust myself off and give myself what i need. giving myself what i need! the ultimate goal to maintain.

#i am grateful for what i have #i made this mantra over the summer when i was struggling #it went something l #i love you for everything you are and everything you are not #me @ me #and that brought me comfort

[mosscreektarot]

hii im starting a tarot blog is it okay if you can give your personal advice on how to read tarot readings for others and how to ask your deck for pac posts ? and do you think its okay to start a blog if you want to practice your skills on tarot reading?

I definitely think it's okay to start a Tarot blog as a beginner so long as you are open and honest about your skill level! It is hard to get better as a reader without lots of practice, and feedback is always something to take into consideration (as long as it is not cruel of course). Try not to take feedback personally; see it as a tool on how to refine your practice.

Be honest about what comes up in the cards. If it is a really nasty reading, you have to let your querent know the truth without sugar coating it. This does not mean be harsh or rude. Think about how you can gently break the news without diluting the message. Sometimes there is a need for a "wake up call" and you have to lay it all out there (still, try to talk to them like they are a friend needing advice!). Every querent is going to have a different energy and require a different touch.

Sometimes your intuition will tell you something completely different than what the card is "meant" to say--trust your instinct over everything! Obviously it is very important to have a working knowledge of what each card and suit represents, but sometimes there is a small detail within the card that catches your attention which changes the reading completely.

How I do PACs is I choose the images first. I shuffle while staring at the image for each group while thinking of the question. I do the same with any question I receive. It kind of feels like a meditative trance. Some decks are less inclined to cooperate in public readings, so it's always a good idea to ask your deck first and be sure to specify it as a public reading not involving yourself when doing the readings.

Have faith in yourself and your readings. Sometimes you may "see" something you feel is strange or far-fetched...don't be afraid to share it. Often those small details are what make the reading personal and impactful. There have been times that I felt like "oh there is no way this is gonna jive with the querent" but I still included it in the reading. Inevitably, I'll be told how accurate the reading was! I guess the best policy as a reader is honesty :) .

Another important thing to remember is that Tarot is not "mean". Tarot is objective. Tarot will tell you how it is without any human emotion or empathy involved. That's where you come in. If a reading is particularly terrible, pull an advice card for the querent. Don't just leave someone with a feeling of doom or hopelessness.

Think about your ethics. What readings are you willing to do, and where do you draw the line? Keep your biases in mind while doing a reading and try to leave them at the door. Let the cards guide you. Don't have an answer ready before you examine the cards (though sometimes you will find you "know" what the cards will say before you read them!).

Don't tell people what to do or how to live their lives...you are guiding them based on the current energy of their situation and energy can always shift. You can give them options, but do not say "you must do/not do this". Tarot deals with objective truth in the moment. A querent always has the right to choose their path and change their circumstances. Some things are set in stone, like when Wheel of Fortune or The Tower pop up, and in these cases you can guide the querent on how they can make the best of the hand they are dealt.

There may be some people who come to you over and over again asking the same question...this is not healthy for you or the querent. You have the right to decline answering in this case, or to gently let the querent know you have already answered this question and they need to take the time to let the reading sink in.

When you first start, you will be absolutely drained...I remember the first two weeks of doing Tarot readings for others and being absolutely drained. I was constantly exhausted and slept a lot. Take it slowly. You will build up your aptitude over time. Make sure you are grounded. Have a cleansed and protected space to ensure your energy levels aren't adversely affected!

Lastly, we are not here to judge anyone. We are here to help! Spiritual growth is the goal :) .

Best of luck to you on this journey!!! <3

#tarot #tarot advice #anon tarot ask #tarotblr #tarot readings #tarot reader #intuitive reader #how to read tarot

[phoneybeatlemania]

13, 17, 19 😈

Hannah you came here to make war not love 😩

13. Which Beatle member do you like the most solo?

Paul I think, especially given that RAM is my no 1 solo Beatles album. Johns a close second, but I feel like musically Paul just has an eccentricity that resonates with me more than a lot of Johns records do (although lyrically John resonates with me more). 

17. What were your first thoughts about the members?

Growing up I always sort of knew who they were, so I cant really say much beyond: Ringo was 6 year old Caitlins fave because Haha Funny Name (I had exquisite taste). But once I started getting into them properly about a year and a half ago, I think these were my Very First, Very Primitive thoughts:

John: He actually got this whole thing rolling, because I was (bored) in lockdown and thought to myself, “John Lennon seemed like a complicated guy. I wanna know more about him.” So I started googling, and started noticing I had *a lot* in common with him.  And then once I started learning about his…….Issues, I couldn’t really stop, which meant I progressively started learning more and more about the rest of the band :)

Paul: Just seemed like a really nice, happy, caring guy to me :) 

George: Pretty sure as soon as I saw the ‘“What kind of girl are you into?” “Johns wife.”’ bit I decided he was the funniest

Ringo: A permanent “silly goofy mood” type donny

19. Did you ever hate a member?

I don’t really think I did? Ive been through phases of disliking some of them, and it took me awhile to get a decent (or at least, more-sympathetic) understanding of George, but Ive never really hated them. Tbh the Beatles are just a big part of my life (see: 6 year old Caitlin, the connoisseur) so I have too much affection for all of them collectively to ever hate any of them (plus, as far as celebrities go, I really think all of them were pretty decent. Not perfect, but better then they could have been, so Im just not inclined to be particularly harsh with them lol).  

#thanks for the ask luv :) #@royaltyisshe64 #asks

[jestersticks]

ok gamers kind of a ramble but here we go its my opinion so its inherently correct bc im super cool

i see a lot of posts about how like “ben shouldve been more upset over things that happened !! this kids traumatized let him show it !!” and ok while i see your guys point i feel like a lot of yall forget that 1) ben is either 10 or a teenage boy(dependin on what ur referencin) and 2) all the bits of show were made in the 00s and early 10s(disregarding the reboot). So like.. idk what to tell you guys mens mental health was and honestly still is a more or less ‘taboo’ subject. also ben DOES show signs of bein upset about things just not in the way you guys want i guess ?? and the thing is like,, ben doesnt outright talk about his issues ? in the episode about feedback when rook asked him about it he refused to answer and later on was like,, angry about rook finding out? i havent seen that episode in a hot minute so excuse me if im bullshitting anyways ben literally just never came to terms with that stuff ? honestly if the events of that episode didnt happen i doubt his feelings regardin feedback(which was like idk u kno self blame n all dat or smth) wouldve ever been somethin they went over which is like !! dude its so obvious from then on at least how ben deals with his issues; he doesnt ! he just keeps everything in that evil little box called ur brain to ignore and sometimes cry urself to sleep over which i mean me too bestie ! /j also aside from that i see people say he shouldve been more hung up about kevin n gwen leavin but he was upset??? shown in how he was kinda pissy about rook bein there and idk i feel like him bein all “well cant go to mr smoothy :/” was a pretty good indicator that he was havin a not very great time right then. also idk if u wanted him to be sad about that for like forever u might have ur own issues to work thru bc i dont think thats like... healthy /hj 

anyways tdlr ben honestly probably does deal with mental health issues just in a “never gonna acknowledge this unless im literally forced to” way

also i could probably go more into depth abt this but this is already like a big giant paragraph that doesnt make sense so sorry </3

#ben 10 #ben 10 classic #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 omniverse #ben tennyson #this took me like a half hour to write #for as badly as its formatted #and worded #thats kind of sad #i could totally do better #but also this is about ben 10 #so im not particularly inclined to do better #but hmm yeah #idk i just think certain posts abt his mental heath #r kinda weird ? like idk #idk what im talkin abt btw #any big words i used i probably heard #in my ap psych class #that i dont pay attention in #dont clown on me tho ill cry #/j i wont cry #ill b very upset tho grrr rrr bark bark

[theongreyjoyyyy]

Me any and every time wedding photography got mentioned over the last 2 and a half years: man you could not pay me to shoot a wedding. Not even as second shooter

Me today: Is being paid to be a wedding second shooter

#listen it was a favour for my friend #worst thing is i was gonna do it and didnt expect payment at all #like his second shooter had to go to hospital so he asked me and i was like #you know whats good to do after a particularly serious depressive episode? #agree to participate in a situation you find intensly stressful because you dont want to leave someone without a 2nd shooter #and i got all the details like 4 hours before midnight #and was like fuck ok its just one day whats the worst that can happen itll be fine #and then he was like oh im splitting the pay 50/50 with you and im like ???? im getting paid??? #but i feel better about it now im not quite as inclined to anxiety vomit all over myself #like as second shooter im basically doing what i did at the tattoo which is just photographing people in an enviroment #im not posing people im not organising group shots which is slightly better #personal #still nervous as FUCK though #this is my first ever wedding aswell ive only ever been to wedding receptions before