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dirtyeddietini · 2 years

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wish you were sober (E.M. x Female Reader)

okay so I had this idea. I was very much in a Conan Gray slump for the past month, and I’m so in love with the ‘’Wish you were sober’’ and ‘’Disaster” songs. And idk if it’s just me? But I feel like they kinda go together? So I thought why not make an Eddie Munson fic based on them (Bc holy shit this dude has done something to me). So the “Wish you were sober” lyrics are kind of the Reader’s POV and “Disaster” is in Eddie’s POV? I hope it makes sense. Also pls be kind, english is very much not my first language and I haven’t written anything since my One Directions days (Which, those days are still not over let me tell you that). Also I hate dialogue?? So minimal dialogue for this one idk?? I’m thinking of making this into a series if people like it enough?? Like with a big time jump idk? I have a lot of ideas. But yeah, hope you enjoy ♡

warnings: alcohol, weed, two fools in love, very much angst??, not very happy ending, implied smut?? like mentions of it idk if heavy makeouts are smut??, unrequited love or so they think??, swearing, use of (y/n), idk if i missed any pls do tell me if i did, also me being an american but havent been there since i was born so i dont really know how america works so if anything is weird again pls do tell me, also idk when to fit this in the timeline of stranger things?? nobody really mentions vecna and everybody is happy and eddie is alive (if i go on with this series then this is fit like in their last year of high school i guess?? we’ll see)

I do not consent to my work being uploaded on any other platforms, translated or copied.

summary: You and Eddie Munson have a not so formal agreement. At the end of the night of every party, when alcohol doesn’t really do anything for any of you anymore - You switch it out for each other’s lips. But what happens when you’re a little bit greedy, and still want even more?

Word count: 3795

It was the first big party of the fall. The Halloween party, nonetheless. Pre-Eddie entering your life, Halloween was the only party you ever went to all year. Post-Eddie it was any and every party you could find, at least the ones you knew would be attended by the pretty, long haired boy. Sometimes you liked to imagine he felt the same. “this party’s shit, wish we could dip. could anywhere but here.”

‘’So, what are you supposed to be dressed as?’’ You drank the rest of your drink before hopping off the counter, giving Steve a twirl and showing off your very homemade witch costume. You’d have actually prefered to sit down, plan out your whole costume and find every piece so it would have looked perfect for the night. But between classes, your job and finding a very limited time to see family and friends, the season changing from summer into autumn hadn’t occurred to you. So here you were, in a little black dress with a witch hat you had bought for your first ever real Halloween party a couple of years back and some old jewelry sown lazily onto your dress. ‘’Well Steve Harrington, I am the wicked witch of Hawkins. Can’t you tell?’’ You said with a bow. Steve just chuckled and filled up his glass with cheap looking liqueur.

“nineteen, but you act twentyfive now. knees weak, but you talk really fly, wow.” ‘’He’s here, you know?’’ Steve asked while throwing a ping pong ball that landed perfectly in your beer. You just shrugged while you downed the beer, trying to look clueless as to what he was saying ‘’He asked about you when he arrived,’’ Steve continued while you tried aiming for just one of the 5 still perfectly lined up glasses in front of him, but missing yet again. You didn’t actually know how Steve persuaded you to play beer pong, knowing how bad you were. Maybe some liquid courage for the night ahead?

“ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed, take me where the music ain’t too loud.”

You didn’t know when or how you ended up on the sofa, surrounded by Steve, Robin, Nancy and Jonathan. Also it just didn’t really matter at this point, your only point of focus being Eddie, dressed as the devil (no surprise there, right?) talking to that pretty blonde. You know the kind of pretty blonde that actually had planned her costume. The one who actually took her friends out, found a costume (a whole costume, not just a random, forgotten dress on the floor of her closet). The kind of blonde Eddie would be proud to show around in town, not someone who only got to taste his lips when he had one too many beers. ‘’Earth to (Y/N)?’’ Jonathan said, waving his hand in front of your face. Steve looked at you with pity in his eyes, being the only one actually knowing who occupied your mind. ‘’Mmm?’’ You said, still looking at the scene in front of you, afraid that you might miss something if you looked away, even for a second. ‘’So, truth or dare? What is it going to be?’’ Robin laughed. You weren’t entirely sure you had ever agreed to the game, alcohol clouding your thoughts, but you had nothing else to do, right? ‘’I guess.. Dare?’’ You said with a sheepish smile, regretting it only mere seconds later. Not only because you were now sitting comfortably on the sofa, squished between Nancy and the coushions, kinda acting like a weighted blanket. Not only because Robin wore a devilish smile while she whispered something in Steve’s ear. No, also because your friends had seen you literally kill the pretty blonde in front of Eddie, with your eyes and that gave Robin a very good idea.

“save me ‘til the party is over. kiss me in the seat of your Rover. real sweet but i wish you were sober.”

It was the first Halloween you attended with the intent of actually partying. The other years where Steve had thrown his big Halloween parties and invited you, you were always sitting on the sofa, soda in hand while being the designated driver. You didn’t mind, alcohol or parties weren’t your thing up until that day (You know the day every teen gets? When they realize that life is just rushing by and they won’t have any fun stories to tell before they’re out of high school? Or was that just you?) Nevertheless, here you were at your first real (well, first real for you) Halloween party. The drinks were flowing (That was also the night you realized you were very much a light weight) Bodies dancing everywhere. You just needed a second for yourself, just to sit on the toilet to gather yourself. ‘’Hoooly shit, I’m drunk’’ You giggled to yourself. You stood up, ready to wash your hands but got a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. ‘’I looked so pretty when I got here, and now look at me’’ You pouted at yourself in the mirror. ‘’Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was in here’’ A voice said behind you, but you were all too occupied with your mascara to care ‘’No no, it’s fine. Come in. I don’t mind’’ You hiccuped, trying very hard not to poke your eye out with your mascara wand. ‘’I’m not really sure we’re that close yet, that I would feel comfortable using the toilet in front of you, pretty girl’’ You could see Eddie Munson coming up behind your back in the mirror. It was not that you didn’t know Eddie, your friends were his friends. It was just that he once let it slip to Steve that you were oh so hot, but how he wished you weren’t so boring. He wasn’t wrong, about the last part anyway. But there was one thing you and Eddie had in common, you just didn’t really care what others thought. So even though you had found Eddie pretty, fucking attractive, it didn’t stick with you that he thought you were boring. ‘’A penny for your thoughts?’’ He asked behind you. Guess you had a habit of zoning out a little bit too much. ‘’I’ll get out of your way, sorry.’’ You said, trying to grab the handle, but falling over your own heels. Eddie was quick to grab you, sit you on the toilet, pour out his beer from his cup and hand you the glass back with water.

And that's how the ‘’tradition’’ started. Nothing major happened that night. You were too drunk, and Eddie was a gentleman. You just sat in his van, talked about life, got a much needed (also a little bit too late) apology for his comment to Steve. Ever since then, the parties always ended up in his van. It didn’t take long until the passenger seat got abandoned for Eddie’s lap and curfew got dragged longer and longer into the night. But that was all that it was. Stolen glances at parties, long makeout sessions leading to always just a little bit more. And at first, that was fine. You weren’t really looking for anything other than a little attention. But as you got to know Eddie more, nothing was enough. Eddie, who had started carrying around a blanket in the van, just so you could snuggle under it when you got a bit too drunk and just wanted to talk. Eddie, who remembered that your favorite smell was vanilla (Also it was hard for him to forget, you basically bathed in your vanilla perfume every time you went to a party because one time, he said that you smelled really good) went out and bought a Wunderbaum so his car would smell like vanilla for you. Eddie, whose lips were just a little too soft to forget.

Anyway, that was only in the confinement of his van. At school things didn’t change, sure he would smile at you a little more, talk to you a little longer but until that alcohol hit Eddie’s lips, you felt like you didn’t really matter in his world.

“pullin me close, begging me, ‘’stay over’’, but i’m over this roller coaster.”

‘’I dare you, to steal away.. One Mr. Eddie Munson’’ Robin said, with a proud smirk. You looked at Steve, hoping he would help, but all he could do was shrug ‘’Those are the rules, girly’’. Sure Eddie would go with you, having downed about 10 beers and had 2 joints.. Or at least you hoped so. But as you looked over, once again, the pretty blonde had her arms around his waist and Eddie was biting his lips looking down at her. You looked at Robin, one more time, hoping she would give you another dare, but she just slumped back on the sofa, smiling. You stood up, knees wobbly, straightening out your dress while trying to come up with enough courage to walk over there. You poked Robin’s cheek on your way out to the make-shift dance floor. You could feel all eyes on you, not just your friends, but also the people surrounding you. Honestly, at this point you wished the floor would swallow you whole. And then you came face to face with… Eddie’s back. You still weren’t sure what to do, how to get his attention.

‘’Hey pretty boy, I missed you. Meet me in your van in 10 minutes’’ You whispered in his ear. You were honestly disgusted with yourself. Why would you say something like that? When have you ever said something like that? Why the hell would you call him a pretty boy? You never called Eddie pretty boy? Also, at this point you were pretty tired of whatever this thing between you two was. How would the boy ever know about your feelings, when you said stuff like that? You cringed, and started walking out. Steve and Robin threw their hands up ‘’What the hell was that?’’ Steve asked. You just smiled and skipped out of the door. It was only when Eddie excused himself from the blonde and raced out of the door that Steve and Robin looked at each other, laughed and felt a little proud of their friend's achievement. “i’mma crawl out the window now. getting good at saying ‘’gotta bounce’’. honestly you always let me down. and i know we’re not just hanging out.’’

‘’Eddie.. Eddie, stop’’ As soon as Eddie got in the wan, he was pulling you on his lap, attacking your mouth with kisses ‘’What, pretty girl, isn’t this what you wanted?’’ He said, mocking you. I mean this was kind of what you wanted. Why you came. Only this wasn’t all you wanted, you wanted to arrive at the party with Eddie, not just leave. You wanted to plan cheesy couples costumes, not just arrive and accidentally match (Which this year, you didn’t. So.) You wanted to dance, kiss, and talk all night. Not just when you were in his van or when the party got too boring. ‘’A penny for your thoughts?’’ He asked, just the same way he did at that first Halloween party. You licked your lips, you knew what you wanted to say. You knew what you wanted. You also just didn’t want to lose this. Whatever this was. Because holy fucking shit, had Eddie swept you right off your feet and started your new adventure as a young adult. He cocked his head, while still wearing that smile you just wanted to kiss stupid. But this was the time you needed to stand your ground. When you had mentioned to Steve briefly that you weren’t in the most ideal situation with Eddie, he had tried to coach you in the way of admitting your feelings, in his words ‘’You don’t have anything to lose. So what if he doesn’t feel the same? You’ll stop wasting your time and find someone more deserving.’’ But what Steve didn’t understand, and what you didn’t feel like you could tell him was, that Eddie didn’t feel like a waste of time. No matter what this was, this thing going on between you two, didn’t feel like a waste of time at all. Eddie listened to you, understood you, made you laugh at any given chance.

‘’Hey, you with me, baby?’’ Eddie started to grow concerned. You were just sitting on his lap, looking kind of hazed out while biting your lips. ‘’Y-Yeah. Just thinking’’ You said while playing with his hair, a nervous habit you had formed a while ago, which actually benefited both. ‘’Mmmh, about?’’ Eddie asked, while slowly starting to kiss down your neck. It took everything in you to not just shut off your thoughts and give all of you to that beautiful, doe eyed boy in front of you. ‘’Us’’ you said, almost a whisper. This made Eddie stop his actions, swinging his head back up to face you, while his grip around your thighs tightened. He almost looked like a man in love, you let yourself think for only just a second. There was an awkward silence after that. You weren’t sure if Eddie was waiting for you to proceed or if he had to gather up any confidence to say that there simply wasn’t an ‘’Us’’. There was you, and him and sometimes you and him just happened to cross paths. But there wasn't an ‘’Us’’.

‘’Yeah, and what do you think about, when you’re thinking about us?’’ He tried getting you to proceed. His tone didn’t give anything away. ‘’It’s just.. I’m just.. It’s..’’ You said, biting your lips. Come on. This isn’t so hard. You’ve told him about some of your hardest times, some of your darkest secrets and he didn’t judge you one ounce. Why was it so hard to get it out? ‘’I’m not sure I can do this anymore’’ You settled on saying that, still not giving yourself away. You started fiddling with his jacket. Not daring to look into his eyes ‘’Oh.. Okay. May I ask why?’’ He took your fingers, started to toy with them. This was his new nervous habit. Again, beneficial for both. ‘’I just.. I’m not sure this is enough for me anymore? Y’know? I don’t know if I can keep on pretending that this is good enough for me anymore.’’ You said, without thinking twice. The only thing you were trying to do, is to shield yourself and your feelings against Eddie. You didn’t wanna drop the L-bomb for him to not feel the same (Oh, not the love-bomb by the way. You may be head over heels for this boy, but you’re not quite sure that a few drunken kisses can lead to love.)

‘’ ‘Cause the potential of us, it was keepin me up all night long’’

While the turmoil was still going on inside your head, Eddie was beginning his own war in his mind. What you said, to shield yourself, twisted itself in Eddie's head. What he heard was that he wasn’t enough for you anymore, that he wasn’t enough.

While Eddie didn’t plan on this to be an occurrence as often as it had been, he didn’t mind it. At first you were just the hot girl who could make him forget about his own misery once or twice a month. Eddie swore that at first he only needed company, no matter what or who that company was. It didn’t hurt that it was you, a sight for sore eyes. It made it even easier to forget his own life. But then those stolen, drunken kisses turned into Eddie swapping his beer for water, only for him to remember everything you said the next day, for not forgetting how you smelled so beautifully of vanilla, for remembering every tiny detail about you and lasty, just so he could see your drunken little dance as you walked up to your front door after he’d driven you home. He couldn’t exactly pin-point when he realized that this was no longer just a distraction. That this was actually the best part of the parties. That whenever he knew you were in the same space as him, he couldn’t stop looking to meet your beautiful eyes.

“this could be a disaster, there’s so many factors. Like, what if you freak out and then we’re losin it all. At the critical chapter where I say I love you, and you don’t say it after”

‘’I’ll just drive you home’’ That was it. That was the best reply Eddie could muster up. He wanted an explanation, he knew he should have asked. He knew, deep down, that he must have misunderstood. But that little part of him, the little part telling him that he, Eddie Munson, was not worthy of love from such a beautiful, charismatic, clever young lady like yourself, won yet again. ‘’No, Eddie, it's fine. I’ll just get Steve to drive me home. You just go back to the party and we’ll just pretend this didn’t happen. Honestly it’s fine. Like I saw how much fun you had with that blonde girl, what is her name again? Oh it’s Amelia right? Yeah, Amelia. She is fun. And pretty. And well put together I really liked her costume. And also I forgot to tell you that I liked yours. Like those small devil horns? TO DIE FOR. Yeah, so I mean I guess I’ll just leave your car and then I’ll get Steve to drive me home, and then we’ll just see each other monday like nothing happened, right?’’ Another thing Eddie adored, your rambling. Whenever he’d push your boundaries, just a little, you’d just start telling him about your day. How Dustin had made a fool of himself in the cafeteria, spilling spaghetti sauce all over his white tee, because he was too caught up in telling a story. About how Robin made it a competition to see how many times she could make Steve fall in one shift at Family Video. But not this time. No. Because this time may very well be the last time he will ever hear you rambling, to him at least. This time you were all wrong. Letting your insecurities shine through, ones he himself had added to before he got to know you. And Eddie still cursed himself out for it, everytime he thought of it.

Yes, you did see him with Amelia. What you didn’t see was that he could not stop looking at you, behind her. Looking at how you looked so damn cute when you zoned out from time to time, how your smile grew wider and wider with every sip of your cup, and although Eddie would never really admit this to you - Or even himself. He kind of liked how you didn’t really look all that amused by Amelia. He let himself believe that you were jealous, that you felt like Eddie belonged to you. Because in all honesty, he did. Every fiber of his being belonged to you. You just had to ask, and he would happily, never ever look at another girl again.

‘’but if i’m reading it wrong, man, it’d be better off if i died, oh’’ ‘’Yeah, no. It’s fine. I’m getting tired. I’ll drive you home. I was planning on it, so it’s no hassle.’’ Why couldn’t he at least try to ask? Ask what you meant? Ask what you wanted? Also, why couldn’t he look away from your damn cherry colored lips? So plump, so delicious. But now in a very obvious pout. ‘’Y’know’’ Eddie said, starting the car. ‘’I like your costume too. It’s really pretty.. Your real pretty. You’re always really, fucking pretty.’’ At least that's something right? Kind of gentleman-like? Not a full on, love confession. But something. Maybe it’ll change your mind? Maybe you’ll lean over the console, giving him a kiss that he sought after, ever since you broke off the last one. Maybe you’ll realize he looks at you everyday, thinks of you everyday, daydreams about you everyday. ‘’Thanks Eddie.’’ You say. Not looking at him. Not leaning over the console. So you didn’t understand, and what’s even worse is that you didn’t even believe him. He could hear it in your tone. He knew you, goddammit.

‘’So..’’

‘’I just think’’

You started talking at the same time. Finally. Finally. You smile. At him, nonetheless. ‘’It’s fine, you go first, baby’’ It was a habit. He couldn’t just be expected to stop a habit, albeit he didn’t want to. Not really. ‘’I just think it’s better this way, you know? Like I like you. Very fucking much. Not like, like you? I like kissing you? Is that weird to say? Well I do. And I like hanging out with you, you’re like my party-best friend? Y’know? Like a work-husband? But switch it out with ‘’party’’. Party husband.. No, no. Party best friend? Party, very good looking, very good kisser best friend? That makes sense, yeah,’’ You were so proud of yourself, Eddie couldn’t stop smiling. He knew what was to come, but you were so cute, his smile wouldn’t falter. ‘’Anyhooow. It’s better this way. None of us caught feelings, right? And I’m going off to college, right? So like, we don’t have to do the whole shabang with crying and missing each other. Like we’ll just stop it here. One last kiss at Halloween. Very good. I like that.’’ None of us caught feelings. None of us caught feelings. None. Of. Us. Caught. Feelings.Your sentence kept replaying in Eddie’s head. He didn’t even know what to say anymore. ‘’Yeah, no. Yeah. You’re right. It’s silly. You’re going off to college, and me. I’m.. Y’know. I’ll figure stuff out probably. Yeah, no. Good that we didn’t catch any of those mean things called feelings, right?’’ He said, laughing, hand tight on his neck. The rest of the car ride was silent. There wasn’t anything left to say. A daydream. It was all that it was. You coming out of your cocoon, a beautiful butterfly ready to fly off to college. And Eddie. Eddie was still just that. Eddie. Not good enough for you, Eddie. Not brave enough to tell you how he felt, Eddie. Not your boyfriend, not your hero, Eddie.

And while he watched you dance up to your front door one last time, while he fell in his oh so empty bed, Eddie couldn’t do anything. Not cry. Not laugh. Nothing. Because he screwed it up. He really screwed it up this time.

‘’maybe i’m mistaken. you’re not mine for takin. maybe i’m mistaken. maybe i just made it up, messed it up.’’

so idk i kind of hate this one??? i started writing this in like??? july?? but i have an idea of like multiple chapters?? like throughout their life?? idk the next one is going to be set in college. and i also wanna elaborate more on how eddie fell for the reader. also the whole toilet scene?? where reader is sad about her makeup?? yeah that was very much inspired by myself. only i didn’t have eddie munson coming in. also all my inspirations come from song lyrics?? so i think songs will be a big part of this world im trying to create?? and yeah most of them will be modern:/ im sorry:/ but yeah. let me know what u think. pls be kind. kisses and hugs to all you lovies ♡

EDIT: i privated this for a long time?? so if you’ve already red it thats why. i put it up again BECAUSE IM WRITING A NEW FIC RIGHT NOW and idk so here it is again

#eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x afab reader #stranger things x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x reader angst #eddie munson fan fic

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anti-endo-haven · 1 month

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not exactly sure how to trigger tag this so tldr: venting about an ex friend who fakeclaimed me and a therapist i used to have who didnt really help me and kinda did the opposite (probably not on purpose, but it still kinds fucked some things up for me)

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thinking about the times ive talked about the possibility of having did with an old online friend of mine (who was a singlet) and they never believed me. i did so much research and trying to open up about it but when they told me i should stop it felt like everything i knew had fallen apart and was different

back then i remember before i told him about it i actually had known about some alters i had, they had actual names and personalities and even innerworld features. i remember one of them was a little kid with blonde hair and a pink dress and a black cat hat (exactly like a hat i used to have irl) i havent seen her around anywhere in a couple years sadly, since my friend told me i was faking. i wish she was around longer because she seemed really sweet. i think she went dormant bc of the stress our friend had put us through

i remember i had what i assume was a full switch to her which is why i wanted to talk to someone about it but the online friend i had at the time would constantly fakeclaim me and say things like "you cant be a system if youre under the age of 20" (even though... systems usually develop before the age of 10) and "youre faking because your typing is weird" (this alter was a little, a fucking child, so of course her grammar wasnt gonna be perfect) i literally remember switching to her as me and this person were talking and they still thought i was faking because "you just learned about this disorder and now youre acting like you have it" (maybe because.. ive had it for so long that when i finally found the words that have helped me describe it im trying to embrace it and learn to heal. maybe because for most of my childhood i felt like something deep inside me was wrong and broken and when i found out about did things suddenly started clicking for me)

even my therapist at the time didnt even try to figure out why i thought i had such a serious disorder, she just immediately dismissed it when i brought it up with her. i find it a bit funny though because before i brought up did with her she had told me i probably have *some kind* of dissociative disorder (she never specified) and she even gave me meds for it (which honestly made it worse, i can only remember like one thing from that time period and it was someone telling me "my energy felt off") while i dont think a therapist should always immediately agree with their patient when it comes to trying to diagnose something i think they should try to help them figure out if what theyre suspecting is truly what they are dealing with or if its something else, ykwim?

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im so sorry for this being so long :( i didnt mean for it to be but it still ended up being a whole essay .. anyway this is my first time posting to this blog so hi !

id like to claim an anon tag, would 🌌🕹️ or tsc/the stardust crusaders be okay?

That ex-friend is wild… You can absolutely be a system under the age of 20, I’ve seen 14 year olds get an official diagnosis and be able to get some help/support for it. Not a lot of people might know about it until they’re older especially in therapy because they have to cross bases and make sure it isn’t something else. And even if someone does months/years of research, they might not fully know or be questioning for a while.

Some people also accept it faster than others. That doesn’t make them fake either. For us, we had started questioning when we were around 19, doing research and everything to help out and going to different sources, we’re now 20 and a little bit past the “I’m fake” self-doubt (imposter syndrome) and doing what we can to function.

Your therapist should have absolutely made sure to cross bases. I’m not saying that in like a bad way. But the medication pushing just… isn’t it. That seems really strange to me to just agree, not ask questions on why, and just give medication out like that…

But you guys aren’t fake, that friend is gone, hopefully that therapist, too. I hope you all are doing better!

And, yep! You can claim all of those!

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dausy · 2 months

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I attempted a circus elephant. Didn't quite turn out like I wanted but alls good.

I had a horrible headache since Thursday evening and its finally given way this late morning. I was over it but once it wore off I was able to do a lot of stuff. The weather was great today. I walked outside in a skirt and I was actually warm. Just a couple days ago I was layering up still. I don't think the weather will last. Last year there was a snow storm around this time of year so I'm sure its false spring. I think I do get a bit of seasonal depression. I like cozy cold of Thanksgiving and Christmas but once the holidays are gone I was hot weather now.

I purchased a jean jacket which I've never had before that I can ever remember and I purchased a couple base layer summer dresses to layer with it. I hope they don't look dumb is all. I'm ready for farmers markets and brunch and sitting outside in the warm weather.

I did a lot of backyard work. I mean I guess it looks better but Im no landscaper. I think my neighbors were looking at me weird as I was mowing the lawn. All the grass is flattened and dead and its possible its not even grass but just a web of weeds. But I was using the mower as a leaf vacuum to try and pick up all the leaves rather than rake them. I did rake a good 10 bags of leaves but I don't have enough room in my dumpster. There was also a dead bird D: I had to pick it up. Probably gonna be bugs everywhere soon. I honestly think tomorrow Im just going to buy a ton of soil and grass seen and cover the entire yard. Im aware Im moving this year but I cannot let the sticker/goathead get out of control like it was when we moved in. My dog needs the back yard.

I have some weird work drama too. I always wanna talk about it but Im afraid of privacy issues. My boss bought us sub sandwiches for lunch a few days ago and I ended up being forced to take them all home. Ive been eating cold cut subs for the past 3 days (maybe thats why I have a headache). I gave some to the gate guards and my dog walkers family. Still had a bunch remaining. My dog walker is moving too btw in a couple months T_T my husband should be back by then but still. She said she has a replacement for me if I need it.

I've also posted this everywhere bragging on my spouse. He really did call me several weeks ago like "uhhh can you show me your Lion King collection I think I made a mistake" he knows I like TLK products and collect them but he's as clueless about my collection as I am if he asked me to buy him a gun. Like Idk what to buy. I guess its a little different because I own..a lot...and none of it is on display because we've moved so much the past couple years. So I had to take him into my closet and show him my breakables based on the boxes. I knew he found something online. I just wasnt sure which one it was.

Ive briefly scoured the internet for some sort of TLK 30th anniversary anything and havent found much. So this was a surprise to me. I would have found it eventually (and probably real soon) so he's lucky he got it to me. It was a very nice gift. It looks beautiful on my computer desk. I wish I had some of my other figures out but they'd just have to go in boxes again in a few months. One of these days I'll get a display case.

#illustration #sketchbook #watercolors #sketch #drawing #realmedia #traditionalart #mixedmedia #artblog #animalart #thelionking #disneymerch #thelionking30thanniversary #elephantart #disneyinspired

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orderforbrian · 1 year

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hihihi i am a HUGE fan of Sea Glass Promise and your art like it's so DELECTABLE

do you plan to continue it? it was left on a cliffhanger and my body is screaming at me to read it for the like 20th time because i need MORE

yes we are! im the main writer and artist but we update really slowly - i have chronic pain and fatigue and also got promoted at work (yay!) but this means i work 40 hours now instead of 30 (boo...) so i havent had nearly as much free time as usual the past couple months. on top of it there were a lot of celebrations i had to attend or host this past month so my weekends were shot too 😭 im hoping to get it posted sometime this month.....fingers crossed 🤞 i promise it will become a finished story eventually 😊 thank you so much for reading and being a fan!!! im REALLY really excited for this next chapter, its the climactic turning point of the story - i'll tease a little sneak peek below 😜

Fast approaching an alcove, Jon practically hurdles the surrounding rocks, bag thumping off his waist, and while the feat was impressive by his own standards, the landing is less than such.

Midway down, his ankle collides with something hard and sends him tumbling into the sand. His bad shoulder takes the brunt of the fall and he curses, gritting his teeth as he stands on wobbly knees. Turning to the offending object, what he makes out is actually a person, hunched over and groaning in similar pain. Under normal circumstances he’d stay and apologise (and wouldn’t be hurtling over rocks to begin with), but someone else desperately needs his help right now.

He takes a step to sprint off again, words incomprehensible through his panting, “S-sorry, I’m in a hurry!”

“Jon?”

The voice is weak, barely perceptible over the wind and the crashing waves, and yet it stops Jon dead in his tracks.

He turns, slowly, to the stranger in the alcove. His throat clicks, words halting to a dry, trepidous stop. When he’s finally able to, the name he speaks is thick on his tongue.

“M…Martin?”

Bleary-eyed, Martin squints against the foggy daylight and sees Jon standing above him, unharmed aside from the cut on his shoulder. He exhales through his nose, something between a wheeze and a laugh. The sea, for all her beauty, has an unfortunate way of bleeding red no matter how little is spilt. At least one of them is faring well.

“Oh, thank god. It is you…” Martin smiles, closing his eyes and resting his temple against the rock.

“Martin—”

Time skips a beat, and so does Martin’s heart.

“What are you doing here?”

#DM drive-thru #i also wanted to participate in jmart week and the entire time i was making stuff i was like #ooooo selkie au is going to suffer bc of this #quick! distract them from the fic with all the new art!!

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x-lynx-x · 2 months

Text

lynx log #2

i wandered into jimmys room, and it was now snowing!! like how there was leaves everywhere in victors room, theres now snow in jimmys(i think it had something to do with nicole waking up, cuz jimmys room kinda looked like hers....)we sat on the bed for a bit n they were having trouble talking, so i thought i'd read a wolvie comic to help get their voice back >:[ theres a lot of comics on our desk that havent been put away yet, so i chose this one cuz it kinda looks like jimmy on the cover.....

so i was reading it(a lot of the panels look a lot like jimmy!!facial recognition stuff) and uhm. this page made me realize something.

nothin special on the page, just was the one i realized on. we're been thinkin a lot lately on if we have a primary soul, n who it might be! cuz everyone seems to think theyre the real soul....but its probably jimmy ): we get a lot of messages thru media n we gotta out them together like puzzle pieces. a message we got a couple years ago(but was reminded of today cuz someone liked one of our old posts abt it) was for a character named church. SO a scientist guy made a clone of his consciousness called epsilon, n put epsilon thru a bunch of simulated trauma, which then split him into other consciousness (like us!) n church was a direct clone of epsilon who didnt remember any of the trauma. and also didnt know abt the experiment!! then eventually he found all the other consciousnesses and epsilon n him fused together n he remembered EVERYTHING!! we've had the word epsilon associated with memories ever since '^' and theres a comic where a guy named epsilon red starts giving wolvie his memories back too!!

we've known abt the experiment since we were uhmmm maybe 11? or 10? we've been gettin hints for awhiilleeee but our recent journey in remembering all of eachother again feels similar to the journey church went on....oh yea! context -> me n my system used to know eachother when we were younger, but around age 15 we all got stuck together n forgot ): but in the past month we've been slowly separating n remembering eachother again!! it was a prophecy for vic n victor(similar but 2 different guys hehe) to spend our bday with jimmy, n it thankfully happened!!! we were worried abt there being a big fight that day(since sabes n wolvie usually fight on that day) n well....that turned out to be true too v_v they forgot how often they fought n there was a fight that morning n victor ended up also fighting with tiff(another member) during the day too(the problem was that jimmy didnt believe either of them were real, n victor even really tried proving himself by fronting for a several days before they remembered eachother! he was searching really hard for jimmy, just like jimmy had been all those years he couldnt remember him...). but that day ended good, so thats all settled now :3 except for the nicole fighting today lol oops.

anywayyyyy back to the story!! after i told jimmy abt this theory, he started changing more into logan(the one in the comic) and vic got concerned and came over to our room. he was crying and didnt know why ): he looked similar to the comic too.

vic held logan for a bit....uhmmm what did we talk about hmm.......OH

right!!!the experiment!!!!so this comic is about how they layer a fake memory over top of real ones, so it implies that sabes n fox were also being experimented on like X was!! so in our case, maybe we're not fake split offs, but rather we're all connected somehow. (we have a member whos name means 'birth of X' btw!!)

that was one of our theories at age 13, that all of us were sleeping in the same lab somewhere. but maybe we knew eachother too.....

the big question is -> whos helping us wake up?

woahhhh cliffhanger :o stay tuned for more fun lynx adventures!!!!!✨✨

#💞lynx log💞#hehe jimmy was worried we wouldnt talk abt anything interesting enough for me to post...WRONG!!!!>:3

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wily-one24 · 4 months

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100 questions: 15*, 42, 84 *I ask this even though (or because?) I start forgetting my dreams as soon as I wake up.

This is the liminal space between Christmas and New Years, time does not exist. I posted the meme, built a chair, rewired the screen on my security door, had an afternoon nap, then bought some dinner for my kids.

But I am back and ready to answer questions!!

And these are some good ones, @dahllaz.

15. What's the best dream you've had?

This has me thinking, because... what IS the best dream I've had?

When I was younger, I used to have this recurring dream of flying. I mean, maybe not exactly flying... but.. extended leaping? Extended hovering? I would be able to step up off the ground and cover streets worth of distance in the air without touching the ground. Those dreams always left me feeling kinda... free? I always liked them, they were joyous dreams.

Havent' had them in a while though.

Not so pleasant recurring dreams I used to have were losing teeth. Those haven't happened in a while. More recently, I've had ones werein I am choking almost on excess amounts of gum... which is weird, because I don't chew gum. But, in my dreams, I"m just... choking on it.

I don't know.

Lately, I've been having these weird purpose dreams. Like, on a mission dreams.

I end up in a group of random people, a mix of people I know in real life and strangers, and there's something we have to do.

For example, I had one recently were I was in a car with a bunch of people that were, apparently, my ex husband's work mates/subordinates... and we were going to pick him up... but then ended up on some strange errand to drop something off at a university to some university lecturer at night, and going up an elevator in a darkened building to the one floor that was still open... but the building was still fairly busy... and it's hard to explain.

Also, for some reason, a lot of my dreams happen in houses that used to be part of my life, like my grandparents' house when I was young. Or my parents house that I left when I got married.

OOOH.

There was one recently (and by recently, I say a couple of months ago), in which I was at said parents' house (which I left when I got married, but I spent my formative teenage years there) as if I still lived there. There were some extended family members either there or about to be there, there were plans for people to come over.

And I was sitting there naked. Living my life. (as you do in dreams, apparently).

But it wasn't an "omg, I'm naked!" dream, it was very much a "fuck it, I'm naked and if they have a problem with it, they can damn well leave" dream.

Which, probably says a lot about my state of mind right now. I am who I am and I am not ashamed of any part of that. So... take me as I am, or GTFO. Basically.

That was a good dream.

42. Favourite song right now?

Probably no surprise, but "Set Me on Fire" by Missy Higgins, it's on my D5 playlist and I sing it very, very loud. Sometimes on repeat. It's very singable. But I do tend to put a series of four songs on a row from that playlist... which is starting from "I Need An Island", "I'm Alive", "Silence Is Golden", and "Set Me On Fire", which I have termed by "Olivia's State of Mind" songs. I sing to them all. Loudly. But Set Me On Fire just seems to hit a bit more, you know?

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

I can't do both?

Perhaps the future. I would like to see how my sons turn out. There's a good chance that, if all goes well, I may just get to do that anyway. However, let's be real, I am severely chronically ill and I am on the waiting list for a multi-organ transplant. SO MANY things could go wrong. There is no guarantee here. So, that question would be answered, I want to see what their futures look like. Whether they have families, partners, and/or children, what they do with their lives, if they're happy.

I like to think they'll be happy in whichever way they choose to live.

HOWEVER, that said, there are some things I would like to do in the past. At least to know about the past.

I would want to meet my grandparents, they died when I was in my early twenties, but they lived rich lives. I want to meet them when they were younger. I want to shwo them pictures of their great grandchildren.

Plus, there is this huge big family mystery that will never be answered, because my grandparents never spoke of it after one night over fifty years ago. It involved them and their good friends. They never saw them after that night.

But it changed my Nanna, and by the time I was old enough to know her, she was mostly gone psychologically. My pop would never speak of that night or what happened, but she would always be paranoid about the police showing up to take us all away.

It was weird.

I kinda want to know what happened.

#look ma i got an ask #interesting stuff #wow i really went off on a few tangents there didn't i?#dahllaz

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abcdosaka · 1 year

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i have not posted on here in a while. idk various things have happened. but heres the most recent stuff.

this is sorta fresh (literally 2 days ago) but im mostly over it i think? i made a hinge account and briefly talked to this girl and i liked talking to her but i think i just dont know how to rizz someone up, or maybe ik and i dont have the courage to do it so i gotta play nice girl from the start. and i think our second phone call i was just kinda lacking in energy and i wasn’t texting her too often either. but at the end of it she was like lets just be friends going forward.

i havent really had any experiences before, like real ones where i was the one initiating everything, so it hurt, kinda like getting rejected for a job interview. i was like ig im just not outgoing or funny or charming enough but damn we talked like twice on the phone, we never even met up, that quick huh.

tbh i think i initiated slightly more and she was less interested and she also made it pretty clear she wasnt sure about getting into a relationship. idk its not worth analyzing. we do have a lot of similar tastes but if she wants to be friends she has to initiate and i might blow her off anyway i dont feel like talking to her anymore lol. or maybe ill respond but just really slowly. ik its giving nice guy/friendzoned. ehhh i might respond she was nice/friendly enough i just need time to get over it fully. i think this is a lets see how im feeling in a week situation. to be fair sometimes good friendships pop up out of bad experiences for me like i thought D was a huge dick when i first met him but we got along well for the time we knew each other

idk i would rather have someone who knows what they want and is certain about it too. but in the first place i dont even want to talk to ppl like its such a hassle texting randoms multiple days in a row. i got a couple other likes and i just ignored them. ive ghosted two ppl bc i just was sick of the texting going nowhere.

tbh i think im just sad bc my ego’s a little bruised. but idk that happens to me easily like applying for a job sucks and it hurts to get rejected and having a job kinda sucks too but its required. relationships, kinda the same but i dont think its required? they never seemed that great or fun or loving to me, prob bc my parents hated each other for 90% of my childhood. even when i see relationships in fiction im like oh cute but idk if i really need that.

im more upset that i dont really have anyone to talk to about this stuff. and im upset s didnt wanna meet over reading week. like besties for 10 years but you couldnt free up a space for me even tho i asked like 3 weeks ago. idk if i can even call us besties. i used to be so insecure abt what kinda friendship we had but now im kinda sick of this. maybe i should ask. i kinda hate feeling needy or sounding clingy though. idk i was pretty friendly in my response

she didnt even receive it T_T

idk she hasnt responded to any messages frequently for the past month so shes probably really busy but ugh i fucking hate this. i just wish she’d check in for once like “hey sorry ive just been really busy the past month and havent had the energy or time to respond but hopefully ill have some time soon”. cuz the thing is its kinda typical of her to flake/be distant/antisocial. like after we graduated hs she ignored my messages for a month and she promised not to do that again. and when we hung out for the last time before i moved for uni she overslept and i think shes done that two or three times since. its really frustrating when we dont get to see each other than often. so if i ask her its gonna be like this is an isolated incident but its not and im prob not gonna see her again after i graduate uni bc i wanna move across the country. and we almost never call bc everytime i ask she doesnt want to. i think thats just her hating calling but how tf else are we supposed to stay in contact when we live in different cities??? and texting for hours on end is fking annoying? same difference ik a bit hypocritical there but also, calling means u can multitask but texting means u have to focus solely on texting unless you wanna respond every 2 hours or even worse, every 5 minutes, theres no flow unless you pay full attention to texting.

and the thing that sucks even harder. is that we had a mutual friend, j, who was her BESTIE for middle school and almost all of highschool. (i had a crush on this chick btw but never told her and i kinda stopped talking to her in senior year). and j did the same fucking thing like she decided she didnt wanna talk to people she knew before highschool anymore and basically just slowly cut s out of her life. and s was so upset abt it she told me abt it a lot

see the thing is if i do confront her about ALL of this, i think its gonna go the worst way possible. like we will slowly drift apart and im gonna lose my closest friend who probably doesnt even consider me at least one of her closest friends. and then im fucked. i mean im not fucked but im starting from ground zero.its really hard not having someone you know you can rely on. altho maybe shes not the most reliable and ive been coping by pretending im independent and dont need anyone for emotional shit. maybe im just catastrophizing. like on one hand, i truly am unsure enough abt our friendship that idk if she’d make an effort after i move real far. but on the other hand i am a known pessimist and i suck at this people bullshit. so idk if i should ask or not.

ugh i shouldnt have wrote this. i was like “if i go in depth on this post i wont be able to stop and then im gonna cry and i dont wanna cry. i should try to keep it light.” like lol. at least it was good practice for typeracer. im gonna do one race and go to sleep. this is frustrating

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risingroleakira · 2 years

Text

Introduction Post :V

Hey Critters! My name is Rose (they/them pronouns), and this is my Critical Role sideblog.

About me: I'm an lgbtq+ artist with too much free time, but not the functioning brain cells to use it properly. I like to draw/paint, worldbuild, tend to my OCs, daydream to music, all that good stuff. Occasionally I also write, conlang (badly), play videogames, text rp w/friends, and/or whatever other stuff my messy brain decides I'm supposed to be doing today (...while giving only half the motivation necessary for me to actually do or complete any of that 'stuff'). Most of the time I'm nocturnal, especially when it comes to catching CR3 episodes as they air, but my sleep schedule still flips around quite a lot so that might differ from day to day.

This is my sideblog, risingroleakira, mainly for Critical Role content and discussions of adjacent series. For my artwork, visit my art blog, risingroseart ...and maybe drop some reblogs while you're there! (This blog also includes my critical role art.) For minecraft and (non-dsmp) MCYT content, visit miningroseakira. I hope I dont scare you off with my wild-ass headcanons lol For my main blog, where I mostly just reblog random stuff and talk sometimes, visit risingroseakira. it's a hot mess, ngl

Critical Role related info:

When did I start watching?

I caught the first half of C3E1 as it aired, then had to stop watching and stopped for a while. A couple months later I binged that and all the other episodes that had aired since then.

What campaigns/Series have I watched?

Finished or up-to-date: > I watch Critical Role C3 as it airs > I watch 4-Sided Dive as it airs > I watched EXU:Calamity as it aired > I watched EXU:Kymal as it aired Work in Progress: >I started watching Campaign 1's original Briarwood Arc, as I cannot watch TLOVM due to the visual violence that I can't stomach. However I have yet to finish it oops- > I have attempted Campaign 2 several times and it didn't work out as I couldn't get past Episode 3 - until now. As of writing, I'm at C2E53. I'm slowing down again but I'm doing my best to continue on.

Current favorite player characters?

> Ashton > Orym > Caleb > Fjord, I think. > Dorian (sorta, it's just been a while since we've seen him, is all.) > ...Well, I would count a majority of the Hells. Between the lot of them it shifts around frequently. those three above are the most consistently at the top ones but it's generally almost the whole group. almost. >Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III, even though I still havent finished the briarwood arc. that was from memory I hope I got it right

Current favorite NPCs?

I have got to give top spot to Lord Eshteross in C3. Imahara Joe and Captain Xandis are also high up, I like Milo, and in terms of C2 I like Bryce and, well, who doesn't enjoy Pumat (plural)

Favorite characters to draw or paint?

Ashton, hands down. I mean, FCG is also really fun, and I havent rlly gotten to draw a lot of characters from CR other than Ashton and FCG, but like. come on. How can you not love drawing the nonbinary punk rock. How can you not enjoy painting their colorful gem and crystal hair and golden cracks and funky eyes and- Anyway that's my introduction post! I’d love to meet some fellow critters - especially newbies that love the bells hells as well, seeing as I’m a bit anxious in new fandoms and therefore more comfy with people who are also new to everything. Still - feel free to say hi whether new or old fan of cr! :]

#cr #pinned post

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theoi-crow · 3 years

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hi. i hope youre doing well. i really really love your blog, its truly inspiring. i was wondering though if you could give me some advice.

ive been trying to build a relationship with Ares for the past couple months, and it had been going well. I'd sense a comforting warmth whenever i lit a candle for him and journalled, but one day, i dont wanna get into details but, I said something to him while he was around and immediately, the entire room went cold, like he quickly pulled away from me. i felt and still feel terribly guilty for offending him.

it was like two months ago and since then, i havent been able to reach him or sense him like i did. i feel terrible and i think it's affected my relationships with the other Gods im learning about/trying to get close to. i just dont want to offend any of them.

is there any way i can properly apologise to Ares, and the Theoi in general, i suppose? i know i need to work on taking my relationship with Them a day at a time, and i wanna start fresh. any advice would be so much appreciated. thanks.

Hey, I'm sorry this took me so long to reply to, I've been having a rough time and am currently going through a lot.

I don't think your problem is with Ares himself but with your Shadow Self:

I strongly encourage you to look at your upbringing in relation with religion, especially if it's a religion your family still practices and how it has conditioned you to see the gods.

A while back I talked a bit more about how your upbringing affects your relationship with the gods because your subconscious mind is shaped by your childhood (most of the links are broken in the post because I changed my name but the shadow work link still works): (LINK)

I recommend looking into why you perceived him to react this way and if what you said was something that previously got you in trouble with your care-givers?

For example, in the beginning of my worship, playfully calling the gods "losers" was a biiiig no because I came from a very strict religion that saw it as blasphemous. It's another reason why I can't be formal with the gods without feeling a wall between us since I was raised to believe God was unreachable and only the priest could reach him on my behalf so I was expected to be very respectful and formal so the priest could put in a good word for me. It was a miserable experience and I always felt alone in my spiritual journey.

I later learned the gods are a lot more willing to go at my own place and understand we are human with human flaws and human needs. Here's a post I strongly encourage you to read: (LINK)

Things to think about:

Are you new to working with pagan gods?

There's no shame in being inexperienced but you might not be familiar with pagan deities which are very different from modern religious figures and have been literally demonized by Christianity and perpetuated by the Media. (A perfect example of this is Apollo Luciferos and Lucifer: LINK and how the media portrays the gods: LINK)

What do you expect from Ares?

Your expectations of a god do affect how you see the god,

for example, I have a lot of shadow around working with people who have a lot of Apollo energy and so my relationship with Apollo often requires extra help, either from other gods or my spouse who has an amazing relationship with Apollo. I have also noticed people who have problems with Aphrodite's domain have a hard time working with Aphrodite.

Is there a domain that falls under Ares that you're having problems with?

Your own psychology.

Sometimes our psychology affects our relationship with the gods or cuts communication.

For example, I recently broke an ancestral curse and while that's great, it has triggered a lot of PTSD attacks as I clean up the fallout of that broken curse. Unfortunately one of the side effects is that I'm currently unable to talk to the gods. Not because I don't want to but, I just can't and I know my current mental state is temporary but it is a good reminder of how your current mental state affects your ability to sense the gods.

Did something change while you were talking to Ares or did guilt strike right after?

I honestly believe you did nothing wrong and sense your shadow self might be trying to keep you from working with Ares. I hope things have changed since you sent me this ask and will leave a few links in case they help further:

Imposter syndrome: (LINK) and (LINK)

Ares and boundaries: (LINK)

I hope these help!

#Ares #Greek gods #helpol #hellenic polythiest #ares worship

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jaekaicx · 3 years

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so ive had this idea for an amphibia fangame for a lil while now-

(LONG post)

its based around the idea that sometime after anne got sent back to earth, she decides to sneak out one night to visit sasha and marcys bedrooms and poke through their stuff. this causes a bunch of memories to come back to anne through flashbacks while she tries to process everything thats happened and her feelings abt their friendship.

i was thinking itd be mostly a visual novel type thing. maybe with a few small choices, but the story would be mostly linear. thered be around 3 main story beats: a prologue bit w/ anne sneaking out of her house, marcys bedroom, and sashas bedroom. also one of the main mechanics would be looking at one of their bedrooms and clicking on random objects of importance and triggering a flashback sequence.

it came from the idea that anne will probably try to just shove all her emotions down and try to ignore her feelings abt true colors and everything that went down then. especially with what we saw in the sneak peek, anne will probably try to hide her emotions and bottle them up, which is obviously not healthy. so eventually shes gonna have to work through her emptional baggage and try to process everything.

i havent thought through EVERYTHING just yet, just some more major plot points and maybe one or two ideas for flashbacks. nothing too solid yet. but heres a bit more detailed runthrough of the plot

summary - prologue

so it would start off with anne at home. she and her mom are talking outside annes room. her moms concerned abt how annes been handling everything that happened in amphibia but anne keeps brushing everything off. her mom tries to get her to open up, but she keeps dismissing her and eventually shuts herself in her room. after taking a bit to cool off and think anne decides that shes gonna take the night to just ride off her emotions and stop repressing them for once. she also makes an impulsive decision to sneak out and check out marcy and sashas rooms.

anne goes to gather her stuff in her room, and just as shes about to climb out the window, sprig walks in to check on her. hes still rly concerned abt his big sis but he knows he cant stop her. he tries to go with anne, but she tells him she needs to do this on her own. so, sprig lets her go and tries to cover for her while shes gone.

so at this point i’ll probably give the player the choice of whose house to visit first. it doesnt rly impact the story or whatever, but i guess it might have a small emotional impact depending on whose house u choose to go to first??

(quick note: after this bit, there arent too many specific details for the plot and stuff like that. its largely just an overall idea of how the plot is gonna go. and even then, there isnt much to it. i didnt think that far ahead yet, which is why there isnt as much refinement yet. so far i just have general ideas for how annes gonna get to the bedrooms, with a couple of vague flashback ideas. just keep that in mind; this whole thing is still being thought over and planned as im typing this out)

summary - sasha

with sasha, annes still rly conflicted abt how she feels abt her. of course shes still rly hurt by being backstabbed by her twice and swordfighting her as many times. but as much as she hates sasha she cant bring herself to fully give up on sash. she hates her guts but deep down shes still willing to give sash another chance.

there may or may not be a small sequence where anne has to sneak into sashas house, but eventually she works her way into sashas room. im not entirely sure abt the details of sashas house n her family yet. im probably gonna wait for info from s3 until i solidify anything, but for now i do know that sashas family has a big house n theyre probably rich.

so anne goes into sashas room and its been left pretty much untouched ever since annes birthday, save for the few times someone came in to dust things off. again, dont rly have all the details for sashas room, but it kind of has a vibe of controlled chaos, with organized clutter and a bit of a touch of a rebellious teen girl. one detail i do want to have is a calendar opened up to the month the trio disappeared, with annes birthday circled and highlighted so much that its impossible to miss.

the calendar itself might include a flashback. im thinking of also having a varsity jacket and some old stuffed animal be different “artifacts” that trigger their own memories. there’ll be a bunch more, but those are the only ideas i have so far fjsbndnd

summary - marcy

ok so i want to be rly mean about marcys segment: this is going off the theory that marcys parents moved away while the trio was in amphibia.

anne doesnt know this yet tho, so shes in for quite a surprise when she turns onto marcys street to find a realtor sign on the front lawn. the clues are all there: an empty driveway, sign on the lawn, an overall empty vibe coming from the house. but it doesnt completely register at first. its not til anne actually comes up close does she notice the sign.

anne tries to deny it, and decides to prove to herself that “no marcys parents wouldnt do this. theyre not that cruel. im just gonna check marcys room myself.” the front doors locked, so she just goes over to marcys window and climbs in.

but its completely empty.

ok not totally empty, but a lot of marcys furniture and stuff is gone, except for a few stray toys and other “junk.” the home guys (idk what theyre called????) are still kind of in the process of cleaning everything out, so theres still some stuff left here and there around the house. but its still way too empty. and its yet another gut punch for anne.

anne searches the rest of the house a bit more, hoping that shes just hallucinating. but no, marcys parents are really gone. she tried to deny it before, but now she has more of an idea of how shitty the wu parents are. so anne decides to just mope around in marcys old room, checking out the stuff their parents left behind.

maybe she finds an old blanket marcy liked when he was rly young. or an old rubiks cube from marcys vast collection. a cnc figurine, some cards, a pride flag, and old diary? a couple of other old toys, an old report card or two, or maybe even some stray clothes. whatever anne finds, its all thats left of marcy, at least in LA.

it really doesnt leave anne in that much of a better emotional position. she already felt conflicted enough about what happened in true colors and what she found out abt marcy. but seeing even a small glimpse of what marcy was dealing with, it just makes her more confused. marcy was such a sweet kid! theres no way they couldve done anything wrong. yet here anne was, betrayed by both of her childhood friends.

only now is anne really taking the time to process the fact that marcy essentially kidnapped her and sasha with the calamity box. he didnt mean to do it, and theres no way they couldve known the box would actually work, but it doesnt completely excuse marcy. his actions still hurt anne and sash, and while they meant the best of intentions, it didnt rly come through that way.

and now marcy was dead. stabbed in the back by the newt king.

and now annes curled up in an empty bedroom, wrapped up in one of marcys old blankets, trying to wrap her head around her feelings about marcy while reminiscing in the past.

summary - extras/epilogue??

i kind of like the idea that anne ends up drifting off in which ever bedroom ended up being the second one she visited. she slowly comes back to consciousness, with her surroundings feeling somewhat familiar, only to wake up in horror bc “OH SHIT I FORGOT TO GO BACK HOME” im not completely sold on the idea tho bc it feels a bit abrupt and like too much of a tone shift?? idk it doesnt feel exactly right

but anyways, im also playing around with the idea of a small epilogue scene with the calamity trio hanging out in annes room, a good amount of time after amphibia ended. dont know what theyre doing in there, but theyre just chilling and feeling a bit nostalgic i guess.

but uh yeah thats pretty much what ive got for the overall idea. it doesnt feel too out of reach, but somethjng like this would definitely be ambitious. i could mayyyybe handle writing out the vn and drawing the character sprites, but i have no idea how to code a vn or draw detailed backgrounds, both of which would be pretty important to this fangame fjsndj. so i might consider having help with this.

THIS ISNT ANY SORT OF PROMISE OR WHATEVER. id rly love to follow through and make this fangame a thing, but im not making any guarantees. i have no idea if i’ll actually follow through, but i would definitely love to.

who knows. maybe in like a couple years this might actually become a thing. but for now i have no idea

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bellybiologist · 2 years

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November 2021 Patreon Announcements

I hope you guys had a good halloween/october! Another month has gone by as time continues to be cruel and unyielding to us all~

This month, there are some notable announcements, since as i noted in previous posts, i've been a mess the past couple months and have been falling behind in work to a pretty bad degree.

Firstly, there will only be 3 single stage fills this month (for the top 3 winners) for this month's poll. I'm cutting my workload since I need some time to recuperate, however, i still want to work and reward those who are still supporting me. I'll ALSO be being less fancy with these fills and may decide to keep them as cleaned up color sketches Like how i do a lot of my personal art. The Poll will be up shortly, and will run like it always will!

Patrons of 2$ will continue to be able to view September's pieces this month. This way you still get some bang for your buck despite the fill-list being shorter for November.

Given I'm late with October's fills, my offer to send the fills to patrons who unpledged before November's charge came in (after I confirm, of course) is always in effect. I neglected to mention it last month, but just hit me up if you unpledged before Nov 1st and didnt get to see October's fills yet!

I'm about halfway done with one of the winning October fills right now, so HOPEFULLY I will have them both done by the end of this week so i can knock some commission work that I owe out of the way and finally recuperate from my rough summer.

As for December, I'm still unsure of how I will go about it. My gut tells me to do similarly and only have 3 fills, but depending on how I feel, I may take the whole month off from patreon work to enjoy the holiday. (My lovely boyfriend's family is helping me go visit for christmas/new year's, and i'm excited since i havent seen him in 2 years since Covid 😭) I'll keep you guys updated for what I ultimately decide to do! Thanks again everyone for your support, and hopefully, i can get everything back on track when 2022 rolls around.

#patreon announcements #verzi rambles

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qqueenofhades · 4 years

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The photo set you reblogged of Yusuf and Niccolo helping throughout time just filled me with so many happy feels and it made me realize that it seems so common in media with immortal couples that they take breaks from each other and reconnect after a few decades. Which is a great trope but seeing these two that seems to have been attached at the hip since the day they met just fills me with all the heart eyes.

(I haven't read your fanfics for them yet. I know I'm a bad fan but if it helps I havent been able to read anything since all this started but while writing this ask I got the feeling that all this rambling I spewed out is a big theme)

Hush. Bad fan nothing. We all are coping with this stupid, awful year in different ways, some of us by escaping into fandom and some of us being unable to engage with it and some of us doing both or anything else. You certainly don’t owe me or anyone any obligation to interact with our content, fic or otherwise. So just to have that there on the top. You’re good, hun. :)

ANYWAY, thank you for giving me a chance to meta a bit on the boys and their relationship and to have a window into what my brain looks like pretty much 24/7 these days. (I blame them.) I keep thinking about all the ways this couple is depicted in the TOG film and how lovely it was and how unusual it is for me to have an OTP where I actually love them in canon and don’t need to violently disavow it in order to create AU fan content with just the characters. (See: Timeless, Game of Thrones, pretty much any show I’ve hyperfixated on at some point.) I love AUs anyway, because that’s the way my brain works, but the fact that I can also enjoy canon just as much is rare for me and for a lot of us. I saw a post somewhere remarking on how the fanfic for Joe/Nicky isn’t fixing anything, which is usually the point of transformative fanworks: we take something that canon atrociously fucked up and fix it. But in this case, all our interpretations are based on actually appreciating the way they’re presented in canon and wanting to enjoy that and uphold it, and that -- especially with a couple like this one -- is shocking??

Like. Despite my historian gripes about the occasionally incongruous details for their graphic-novel backstories (which are the only things I HAVE fixed in my fics), I’m just... deeply appreciative of the care which everyone, writers and actors and all else, put into depicting Joe and Nicky and their relationship. And god YES, one of the things I love the absolute MOST is that they’re a loving, faithful, committed, happy married queer couple over centuries, and that seems to be the case for as long as they’ve known each other/ever since they got together. (See Booker’s “you and Nicky always had each other.”) These fools can’t sleep apart from each other even when they’re stuck on a freight train in the middle of nowhere, they flirt like teenagers at dinnertime and even when they’re strapped to gurneys in a mad-scientist laboratory, they make out to enrage bad guys and also because they’re just still that goddamn into each other after all this time.

I think it was Marwan Kenzari who pointed out that there’s simply no way to truly state the depth of their knowledge and devotion and commitment to each other. They’re 950 years old. They have known each other since they were in their thirties; they’ve been husbands for literal centuries. There is no way anyone else in the world could possibly come close to replicating the kind of bond they have with each other, and neither of them have ever had any inclination to look, because why would they? Especially with the fact that queer couples in media, even otherwise sympathetically portrayed ones, often have Drama and Third Parties and Promiscuity and whatever else (because of the tiresome old canard that Gays Equal Hypersexualized!), and Joe and Nicky don’t need or want ANY of that. There’s no urge to make their relationship a cheap source of soap-opera conflict. It’s the rock and the center and the core of both of their lives, and everything they do stems from that.

There have been some great metas/comments on how neither Joe and Nicky are sexualized, they dress like stay-at-home dads during quarantine (Marwan Kenzari and Luca Marinelli are both objectively gorgeous men, and they’re out there looking like that, god bless), and the viewer is never invited to goggle at or fetishize their relationship. There are no leering or exploitative camera angles on anyone, and their expressions of love aren’t posed or intended to titillate the audience, they’re just solidly embodied and natural and lived in. It’s never bothered to be stated clunkily in dialogue that they’re a couple; we just see them exchanging looks and smiles in the early part of the film, and then we see them spooning on the train after the mission in Sudan, which confirms it.

At every turn, the narrative celebrates the kindness and love shared by the Immortal Family, the individual characters, and Joe and Nicky, especially and explicitly in queer form. The villains of the film are also defined by how they react negatively to that love. @viridianpanther had a great meta on how Keane as a villain is especially set up to menace Joe and Nicky as the narrative representation of toxic masculinity, aggressive heterosexuality, and the usual “Kill Your Gays” trope that we’ve all come to wearily expect. But instead, after that scene where Joe and Nicky fight Keane, Nicky is shot and comes back to life in Joe’s arms rather than dying permanently like we probably all momentarily expected, and then Joe gets to FUCKIN’ BREAK THE NECK of the guy who enacted that violence.... good GOD. The first time I watched it, I almost couldn’t believe it was happening. (This goes for the whole film, but especially that scene.) Like... when do we get that?? When do we EVER get that???

Obviously, there are so many stereotypes, whether visually or in behavior or character traits, that could have been assigned to a gay Italian character (excessively dramatic, effeminate, fashionable, etc) or a gay Arabic/Muslim character (explicitly announcing He’s Not Like Those Muslims, having to actively reject his heritage to make him more palatable to westerners, being tormented over being gay, etc) and Joe and Nicky subscribe to none of those. I get very emotional about Joe referring to Nicky as the moon when he is lost during the truck scene partly because it’s SUCH a common motif in Arabic love poetry. To call someone your “moon” is a beautiful way to say they’re the light of your life, and since the Islamic calendar is obviously lunar and the holidays, months, and observances, are set by the phases of the moon, this also has a deeper religious significance.

I don’t know for sure if they did that on purpose, but it it’s a lovely and subtle way of showing us how Joe clearly doesn’t have an issue with being both queer AND Muslim, and is able to draw on both facets of that identity in a way that a lesser narrative would have denied him. And that is just really wonderful. Yes, we’re seeing these characters when they’ve had centuries to settle into themselves, but there are plenty of writers who would have forced those conflicts artificially to the surface, rather than letting them be long in the past. It’s the same way when you watch a film set in the medieval era, it wants you to know that it Is Set In The Medieval Era. Cue the filth, misogyny, racism, violence, etc! Rather than it being a lived-in reality, it has to be jarringly drawn attention to, and I’m just so glad they didn’t do that with Joe and Nicky. And for them to have met in the crusades and fallen in love??! Come on. That’s just rude. Rude to me, personally.

Anyway, this was a rather long-winded and feelsy way of saying that these characters are constructed, acted, and written organically in such a way that you hate to even THINK of them being separated, and it’s not because they can’t function without each other, but because they are two halves of a whole. We also see that the characters themselves can’t stand being forced apart: Joe’s freakout in the truck scene when Nicky briefly won’t wake up, Nicky making sure to tell Joe that he’s glad he’s awake in the lab, the whole post-Keane fight scene that I talked about above, the way Nicky fights ferociously to get to Joe when Merrick’s stabbing him, etc. For that to be given to the queer couple, where the strength of their love and devotion is reinforced as one of the emotional goals of the story, and for that queer couple to be written in the way that Joe and Nicky are, both individually and as a unit, is just so very rare.

Because yes, there’s plenty of drama and angst and pain in their lives, but there’s none at all in their relationship, and that’s what fans keep telling TV writers the whole time: they WANT to see the couple confront things as a unit, rather than being kept on tenterhooks the whole time and forced to go through manufactured or artificial drama. It would feel especially wrong for Joe and Nicky, who have known and loved each other for 900 years. The fact that their respective actors also put so much care and love into them is very obvious, and makes me feel even luckier that they’re played by people who clearly get them and honor them and know what they’re doing.

Basically: of course Joe and Nicky have been with each other the whole time, and of course we’re all drowning in feelings over it, and I feel very blessed that this ship exists, and I very much need the sequel ASAP. Thanks.

#the old guard meta #joe x nicky #immortal husbands #long post #roseoswiins #ask

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