#some say the binary/non-binary thing was cringe but I say FUCK YOU TERFS THAT WAS A HILARIOUSLY GOOD LINE

[v-v-x-x]

I'm sure you probably already heard about this r4cs0 lunatic, the most homophobic cringe blog on Tumblr with tons alt-right Trump supporting followers. Well of course he saw that Q-Force trailer and immediately jumped on board with the "this made me homophobic" jokes, even though he was already homophobic. This is just his most recent pride month stunt, after saying asexuals are annoying and sending his followers to harass a minor for having pronouns in their profile.

You must really be a miserable piece of shit to do something like that. These people need to go outside and meet people, get some friends or fuck instead of being on social media all the time bullying people. But it's not even surprising anymore since I've encountered so many accounts like this. There's one account going around repost people's transition promoting them to commit suicide. There's multiple terf accounts I've seen of these "feminists" stealing photos of minors who identify as non-binary or trans getting called slurs by these people and harassed. Surprisingly I don't know this r4cs0 person but I know tons of people like them. The best thing to do is just report and block. These people have no lives so don't entertain them.

#q-force #q force #queer is a slur #lgbt #lesbian #gay #bisexual #transgender #transwoman #transmen #ftm #mtf #trans rights #gay rights #homophobia #transphobia #rainn ✨ #anon #nonbinary #enby #netflix

[no1trash2003]

Identity crisis 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♂️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♂️

It's late at night so its 🧚‍♂️crisis time🧚‍♂️. If you want to skip this is going to be a convoluted gender identity post.

I think before getting into this I should info dump about my history with gender identity as a preteen:

I've always been somewhat uncomfortable with being referred to as a female. Other than a brief few years of hyper femininity as a very young child, I've always rejected the idea of being referred to as feminine in any way. Things I've assosiated with femininity i rejected, regardless of how much I liked them if at all. As a teen I'd later say this was a rejection of femininity as a weakness, as it is commonly portrayed in pop culture. In order to be strong I must reject femininity. This is probably still true to some extent but the fact remains I've always been uncomfortable with femininity and, to this day, prefer tomboy looks.

This also manifested in a strong distaste for being referred to as gendered terms. Of course I was only ever referred to as female. It always has made me incredibly uncomfortable. I used to day dream about calling myself he in my head and imagine how nice life would be had I been born with the superior genitalia (at least it was in my adolescent eyes).

I both longed for and hated a large chest, which I eventually got. And hated. Dont get me wrong I like the look of it somewhat now. But I'd prefer if it was... flat. Maybe I could arrange to rent it out? I'd like the look of them on others I'm sure.

When I reached puberty my nebulous relationship with all things LGBTQ+ began.

Of course, being a teen without acess to the internet I'd only ever heard of lgbt through word of mouth and vuage comments about crossdressers. When sexuality became a prime topic of discussion among my peers I was keen to label myself- and after analysing a common distaste for most people around me with the exception of a small select few, labelled myself a bisexual. While I've doubted this at many points I believe it still holds true today. I got a few odd questions, but I was used to being different due to my learning disability and odd disposition, so I wasnt too put off by a little bullying.

I did, however, finally get internet acess. And this, unfortunately, did not help.

As I got a clearer and clearer image of what a woman was supposed to be, I found myself more and more unable to connect with it. I didnt appritate clothes in the same way as my peers, nor makeup, music or fandom. I only really showed interest in those things to make my friends happy and spend time with them- they enjoyed it and I enjoyed their company. But this did lead to me scouring through multiple gender identity quizzes, coming to the conclusion I had some unresolved attention seeking issues, and suppressing it for the foreseeable future.

Eventually, I gained a political interest. For some reason I couldnt quite understand, I was drawn to the politics of trans identity. Of course at this point I was still firmly in the binary, being a transmed. I was overly interested in the politics of it all, at one point being briefly pulled into some more conservative media. It made me uncomfortable to listen to, and I thought that most things were uncomfortable to listen to so it was probably right.

It was at this point my friend came out as non binary.

I wanted to be supportive. I was their friend, and it was my duty as such to help them figure out themselves. I got some shit off my goth friend for using their preferred pronouns at the time, even when referring to them, as well as their new name rather than their dead name. But overall it went quite well. At the same time, though I hid it, their non binary gender made me somewhat uncomfortable. I think, looking back, that openness and bravery intimidated me. They could admit things to the world that I couldnt even admit to myself.

Later they would come out as a he. I made a gender fluid friend- who was unfortunately a pathological liar, not really helping my binary view of the world. I respected their pronouns whenever they asked me to change them of course, but again I was uncomfortable with their bravery.

At this point I rejected any gender nonconformity I may have shown, and kept myself firmly in the window of a mildly unfeminine women.

And then, I was plunged into leftist ideologies.

This is the point where I decided to go for gender abolishment as something I'd support- through finding creators like contrapoints, and lots of non binary creators who were very eager to explain it all to me in a way that wasnt ripped out of the sour lips of a terf. My interest in politics, the role of gender in society as a concept, its role in capitalism, made me reject it. I still firmly identified myself as a woman, despite the massive discomfort about my female sex characteristics, and being referred to as such.

But I suppose, through accepting others I was forced to analyse myself more closely. Yes, I'd grown attached to many feminine things. Yes, I'd grown attached to many masculine things. Yes, I'd love- AND I MEAN LOVE- to look like a full on boy- to be recognised as such also.

But why would that make me anything less than female? Surely, I could just be a masculine woman. Gender roles after all mean nothing in reality.

And yet, does my love for makeup, and the occasional dress, discount other identities completely? Cisgender men could like all those things for gods sake! And so could masc presenting non binary people, and trans men, and anyone else for that matter! Why would those things have any bearing on my gender identity?

I know I hate how I present at the moment. But unfortunately that's all I know. I'm a coward i guess- I dont know what to do or how to do it. I don't have the bravery to come out and say I'm this or that or anything other then female. I dont have the courage to get more stares in the street than I normally do or explain this to my school. I don't have the balls of steal to let anyone see me as anything other than a cis woman in real life. I dont know what or who I am.

I do know I dont like being referred to as female pronouns. I know I dont identify with femininity in the same way as cisgender women seem to do. I know being called anything feminine makes me cringe. I know I hate my breasts and my hips and my thighs and my vagina. I know I hate not looking masculine. I know I hate my fucking name.

So I dont know what I am. But a lot of things seem to be pointing towards not female.

#idenity #gender questioning #lgbtq #lgbtqa #identity crisis #trans #afab #afab dysphoria

[bifaq]

A little note on why we don’t encourage the use of male/female

One of mod peach’s answers has been passed around various transphobic blogs over the past few days, all of whom are doing some variation of calling us out for being anti-science and not having empathy for the people who submit questions for this blog.

Why is this, you might ask? Because peach spent a good chunk of the answer reiterating our stance that it’s not really a great move to say “female” when you mean “woman” and “male” when you mean “man.”

I’m making this post for two reasons:

To explain why we use the language we use, since I know it can be confusing if you’re not too into trans issues and/or English language around gender

To explain why that answer might have come off as unnecessarily short/pissed

Lets start with 1. 

Male and female are simply adjectives for being a man or being a woman. Using them does not make you a transphobe, a TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist), or anything like that.

But platypus, why shouldn’t we use them, then?

The answer is: it’s perfectly fine to use them, when it makes sense in context. I use them all the time for example to make constructs like “female academics” or “male feminists.” In this case, you use the words to make clear that you’re talking specifically about academics who are women, for example.

Where we, on this blog, don’t like to use them, is in sentences like “I’m a female mostly attracted to males, but I’ve been questioning my attraction to females.” Why? Because in this case, it would be super easy to say “I’m a woman who is mostly attracted to men, but lately I’ve been questioning my attraction to women.” I know that by far not all people who use the first kind of sentence mean “I only recognize those assigned female at birth as women and those assigned male at birth as men.” BUT unfortunately there is also a large number of people out there who do it, who like to deliberately misgender people. It’s unnecessary to raise associations like that, especially in our followers and mod(s) who experience misgendering, and that’s why we ask you not to use it.

You might think now “I would never knowingly misgender people, but I just know that I would never be attracted to people aside from cis women and cis men.” It simply doesn’t work that way. Unless you get a full medical history from each person before “deciding” whether you are attracted to them, you don’t know for sure what kind of “gender markers” their body has. Unless you ask them, you don’t know for sure what that hot person sitting across from you would name as their gender identity.

If you’re a bit confused by why biology doesn’t neatly translate into gender in the penis = man, vagina = woman way most of us learned, you might want to have a look at this:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0By2Vi42jUYD1MFZUdjVBb0dRYm8/view

It’s a comparatively short, nicely illustrated brochure about various scientific discoveries on gender and what it may have to do with our bodies.

If you want to read up more on the biological and/or medical history side of things, I can recommend the books “Evolution’s rainbow” by Joan Roughgarden and “Sexing the Body” by Anne Fausto-Sterling. The latter has been rightfully criticized for being more widely cited on intersex issues than actual intersex people, but her book is still a very readable overview of queer medical and scientific history, I think. Oh, and both of the authors are actual biologists, so if you’re still wondering “but what about science?” … you know.

That said... I’m not saying “science can explain your identity to you” because, let’s face it, science can be biased. Until 1990 the World Health Organization classified homosexuality as an illness. Your definition of your identity comes first. Just know that when people play the “but science says gender is a binary” card, they don’t know the whole scientific discourse around it. 

Okay, on to 2. 

We get a varying number of submissions to this blog, and a surprising lot of them use the male/female  language I have described above. We also have lives outside of this blog, and depending on our mindset when answering asks, and especially the amount of transphobic bullshit we experience, how we read those asks might range from “just another submission” to “slightly cringe-y” to “what the fuck kind of ideology is behind this.” Generally, we aim to be open, friendly and informative to everyone while also drawing a clear line and showing where unacceptably bigoted thinking begins for us. If we sometimes make the wrong call about a submission, we are sorry about that. Hopefully, if you’re sending us a message, you also know our blog a bit and know where we’re coming from. If not, we always encourage second asks. We also answer non-anonymous asks privately if you ask us to, so if you want a direct conversation, there’s that.

You might be wondering why I’m not directly reblogging the reblogs we got to argue with them one on one. For one, I don’t want to have to repeat my arguments on every one. For another, I don’t actually think most of those reblogs come from a genuine place of wanting to exchange views, and I wouldn’t want to put all our followers (and us) through a pointless debate with likely hateful third parties.

peace and love and all that crap

mod platypus

#gender binary #language

[winterywitch]

anyway heres a summary of my discourse beliefves:

cishet aces/aros do not belong in gay spaces, bi spaces, lesbian spaces or trans spaces

for me my whole life the LGBT community has been more than that. my perspective is not that of some sad brainwashed child, forced into being more ~tolerant~ than i should be. i genuinely believe and have always believed the LGBT community is more than that, and im not just gonna drop that anytime soon, because i dont think the right to only consider the LGBT community as for “SGA and trans” people is liberation.

therefore cishet aces/aros belong in ace/aro spaces, which for me, count as LGBT.

but not gay, bi, lesbian or trans spaces.

there will be overlap because they are LGBT. but no, cishet aces/aros should have no claim to anything specifically for the L, G, B or T of the community.

for me the community is

Lesbians

Gay men

Bisexuals [SGA or not - as an SGA bi person, i get to speak on this.

Pansexuals

Trans people

Nonbinary people [counting agender, genderfluid, genderqueer, etc. non-cis, non-binary identities]

Intersex people (of course should they want to - the point of this list isn't YOU HAVE TO BE LGBT it's You Can Be Included)

Queer people [anyone who isn't cis or isn't het, including aroace people. non sga bi people im a little iffy on re: them 'reclaiming' queer]

Allies [i think this is important for people in the closet, as long as we dont let cishets get too big for their britches]

Aroaces

and hell, here’s a + to include anything i might have forgotten

aroaces are not functionally cishet.

straight privilege is straight privilege. it isnt not-homophobia privilege. to experience straight privilege you must be straight.

they definitely benefit from not experiencing homophobia. they can be absolute dumbasses abt homophobia for that exact reason.

but they dont experience straight privilege, because they’re not straight. that is all straight privilege has ever meant for me in my LGBT community.

cishet aces are cishet, and also aces. this means they benefit from cis privilege and straight privilege, but aphobia weighs down that straight privilege because they dont perform straightness in the Right way. i dont believe this necessarily makes them systemically oppressed the same way we are. but i dont believe aro or ace identities are privileged either.

there is no coherent Ace Community boogieman that is unanimously a bunch of homophobic, transphobic, racist jackasses, and if you believe that, you are a complete dumbass

yeah, the ace community is comprised of white cishets but, im gonna wager even more commonly, its comprised of literally every LGBT identity and race you can imagine. the ace community is not the white cishet community. it’s the community of everyone who IDs as ace or aro. this is not white cishets as a rule, as a majority, or even half the time.

that being said, inclusionists can say some stupid, shortsighted shit sometimes that is completely ignorant of LGBT history/oppression. i dont agree with the implications that i dont stand for every single thing they say and will not be held accountable for every single thing they say.

similarly, unless you wanna be held accountable for every single thing your side says/does before being allowed to call us out, uh, dont expect the same of us. the onus for this is on exclusionists, i have been around long enough to know you guys started this one. it is up to you guys to start being decent on that one, and then we’ll follow suit. those of us who dont are jackasses.

you are never at liberty EVER to explain to an ace person why their abuse or rape took place. that is called gaslighting, and no, you don’t get to throw a fit when someone calls this what it is. when you call a rape/abuse survivor an annoying disgusting freak for daring to talk about why their rape/abuse happened (since they factually know why it happened and you dont) and then proceed to insist that your headcanon of their trauma is the correct interpretation and theirs is not because theyre a filthy cishet ace (which they rarely are), that is quite literally the definition of gaslighting. and hey, don’t do it.

you are never at liberty EVER to explain to an ace person why their parents forced them into Therapy Specifically Designed To Convert Them Away From Asexuality (which may have a more efficient, shorter name). you dont know how that therapy worked or how the therapist worked because you werent there. you dont know that it was only because of homophobia so therefore this person has no right to claim their own trauma.

not everyone you hate is a cishet ace. don’t call people cishet aces unless you know for a fact they are cishet aces. i imagine you wouldnt want to call a trans lesbian a cishet, which exclusionists have done too many times for me to count. your platform should not be “you said something stupid and harmful, youre a cishet ace,” it should be “you said something stupid and harmful, end of statement.”

for some reason this is a controversial point in some discourse circles, but no one owes you sex. your partners don’t owe you sex. relationships do not equal sex. relationships do not even equal romantic love. relationships are a decision between multiple people on closer emotional intimacy.

if romantic and sexual aspects of a relationship are necessary for you, that’s understandable and okay! but you aren’t OWED that. people don’t need to out themselves as aro or ace for you. people dont need to feel pressured to give you anything they dont want to give. and you dont need to stay in relationships that dont make you happy.

allosexual privilege is not real. no one but white cishet men are 100% celebrated and privileged for experiencing sexual attraction. even white cishet women are oppressed for their attraction in many ways, and repressed from early childhood - so you can imagine how absolutely horrific sex-based oppression is for the LGBT community. we are not celebrated for sexual attraction, we are treated like we are dirty, and we are sexual predators.

WITHIN THE COMMUNITY, yeah, sometimes we are definitely, blatantly favored over aces, and people run around saying asexuality is unnatural, and sexual attraction is what makes us human. this is harmful and damaging, and it shouldn’t happen. i dont consider it systemic oppression and it definitely does not make allosexual privilege a thing.

calling people allosexuals is not something i condone. its not comparable to “cis” as a label, because cis people are an actual oppressor class towards trans people - non-ace LGBP folks are not towards ace people.

intracommunity bigotry is real and it is traumatic. people devalue it constantly and pretend it’s just a slap on the wrist, but it is an absolutely traumatic thing to have to face every day of your life. but it isnt the same as OPPRESSION, and we dont have to conflate the two concepts for intracommunity bigotry to be treated with the seriousness it deserves.

similarly, dont call people REGs unless they are not only aphobes but also truscum or TERFs. i also personally dont really believe in equating aphobes with truscum/TERFs but i dont believe in silencing trans people who openly talk about the similarities, either.

dont call people AERFs unless youre a trans woman holy shit

as someone who was directly affected by the truscum discourse when it happened [not debatable, by the way], this is pretty much recycled truscum discourse in my eyes. you dont need to lecture me on how its not.

just because someone on the “other side” called something you did ableist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc., does not mean you get to shut your eyes and plug your ears. ESPECIALLY if you are part of a privileged class relevant to that accusation. for example as a white exclusionist you dont get to ignore the concerns of inclusionists of color or lecture them on the racism of the ace community. for example as a cis inclusionist [or honestly, even just a non-trans-woman inclusionist] you dont get to ignore the concerns of trans exclusionist women or lecture them on the similarities between TERFs and exclusionists.

“aspec” is not exclusively for the autistic community and i have NEVER seen claims that it was until ace discourse started. thats transparent as fuck to me and youre not fooling anyone. dont just make shit up lmfao

jokes about how Oh Lol Cringe aces inherently are, arent funny especially considering how many of these Jokes are steeped in anti-autistic ableism

idk when this happened but recently ableist jokes are the new Hot Topic of Comedy and thats like, mind-numbingly bad

i dont care what side youre on, IF YOU ARE USING THINGS LIKE FICTIONAL CP/PEDOPHILIC SHIPS/INCEST/RAPE CONTENT TO COPE WITH YOUR TRAUMA, YOU BETTER BE DOING THAT SHIT IN PRIVATE, ONLY SHARING IT WITH LIKE-MINDED, ADULT SURVIVORS, AND NEVER LETTING THAT CONTENT CIRCULATE OUTSIDE OF THAT GROUP. end of story. no ifs, ands or buts about it. speaking as a survivor who uses stuff like this to cope, being a survivor does not give you a free pass to, inadvertently or not, contribute to the pedophilia and circulation of grooming material on the internet. it is your RESPONSIBILITY as a survivor to not continue that cycle. if you avoid that responsibility, you have no right to play victim or pull the “im a survivor ;-;” card when people call you out on this.

educating kids on asexuality is not pedophilia, grooming or sexual abuse. jesus christ lmfao you dont have to assume people word it in a way thats inappropriate or predatory just because theyre pro-ace. kids NEED label/identity options, they are discovering who they are and without a label that fits for them, theyll likely feel like shit. let them have their labels. knowing about asexuality might greatly improve their life if it fits them!

for this reason, stop being weird about mogai labels/trying to “ban” them from everyone’s vocabulary/trying to turn them into some Cringe Joke that is only about Cishets Trying To Be Special. they didn’t fuck over EVERYONE.

inclusionists, in advising kids and questioning people who ask you for answers, be more open-ended. the insistence of “oh youre not a lesbian you’re a quioromantic demi-homosexual!” without also making it ok to just be a lesbian is what hurt and confused so many people on their journey to discovering their identity and its why they resent the whole mogai thing, fairly so. make it okay to just be a lesbian, or just be gay, or just be bi, or just be trans, while letting people know their other, more specific options.

asexuality is not an NSFW or TMI orientation

ace headcanons arent INHERENTLY homophobic, racist or ableist. they absolutely can be and ive seen that shit with my Own Two Eyes [pure innocent baby ace autistic papyrus headcanons back in the undertale fandom (shudders)], but they are not INHERENTLY so.

headcanons for characters with marginalized identity labels that arent identical to the ones you headcanon that character with are not oppression. and you dont get to police this shit as if its factually wrong

absolutely zero sexual interactions with minors ever, thanks!

trying to Bother The Pure Aceys by talking about sex is unacceptable

posting bullshit in ace positivity tags is unacceptable

stop calling people doing nothing but talking about their experiences “freaks”???

dont engage in the whole Oh There Are Valid Identities And There Are Special Snowflake Identities thing its not a very good look

biphobia is its own thing independent of homophobia

biphobia perpetuated within the community isnt necessarily systemic oppression but its traumatic and wrong and shouldnt be treated like some Lol Cringe Joke

you cant just say UM THAT LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENS???? when someone calls your side out on shit lgfkhghgfh especially when it literally does, all the damn time

ace [IRL person, whether or a celebrity or god forbid a flat out bigot] moodboards arent funny

you shouldnt agree to sex that you as an ace person dont want in a situation that you can control if the sex happens or not, but the pressure to provide sex to a non-ace partner is very real. stop blaming ace ppl for that pressure lol speaking as a victim of coercive sexual abuse, you cannot blame the one who didnt want it, even if they COULD have spoken up.

you’re not a bad person for wanting sex if your ace partner doesn’t. there is nothing immoral about not being ace. you just dont get to have sex anyway and you arent owed it if you are set on this committed, monogamous relationship - if sex is a big deal to you, you need to leave that relationship or work out an open situation.

laughing off peoples’ experiences as The Discourse is completely unacceptable, it encourages people to shut up and never analyze themselves and their identities

its not cute in your ace ship headcanons if the ace character is an asshole that rolls their eyes @ or judges their non-ace partner

similarly its not cute in your ace ship headcanons if the non-ace partner is an asshole that rolls their eyes @ or judges their ace partner

you dont get to tell people “ok you identify as heteroflexible but ACTUALLY you’re [insert identity]” literally ever, i understand the concern with people using “safe” identity labels to avoid facing their LGBT identities but acting on that concern in that way is not concern, its concern-trolling and its not fuckin okay.

legitimizing your own identity by delegitimizing the identities of others is bad

DO NOT, AND I REPEAT, DO NOT, BLANKET-TERM PEOPLE AS QUEER, LITERALLY EVER. DONT DO IT

DONT FUCKIN DO IT!!!!! NOT EVERYONE HAS RECLAIMED THAT SLUR, AND IT IS 100% A SLUR ON TOP OF BEING A CULTURE WITHIN THE COMMUNITY

JESUSS CHRIST DONT FUCKIGN DO IT!!!! WHEN YOU REFERENCE THE QUEER COMMUNITY YOU BETTER ONLY MEAN PPL WHO CALL THEMSELVES QUEER AND HAVE RECLAIMED IT/ARE PART OF THAT SUBCULTURE

we need more nonsexual, non-alcoholic spaces for LGBT folk that are safe for minors, trauma survivors and ace people, but thats not our fault, the prevalence of sexual and alcoholic spaces exists because we were literally not allowed to exist anywhere else until very, VERY recently, and even now it’s a Barely thing

you cant tell someone their experiences didnt happen like my god

we think ace discourse is about more than cishets because exclusionists make it about asexuality as a whole. you guys cant make it about more than cishets and then be like But Ok It’s Just About Cishets You IRrational Crazies?? :/

yes self harm through exposing oneself to the discourse tag is possible, no it’s not funny, no it’s not just ~cishets~doing that, triggers are not exclusive to PTSD survivors, shut the actual fuck up

you dont have any room to comment on the validity of quasiplatonic relationships if you’re not in one, most of the time you guys complaining about them and saying theyre Special Snowflake Things dont actually know what they are. mind your own business lol let people live

if youre not intersex, you dont get to tell people that the intersex community doesnt wanna consider itself LGBT, so they are wrong for saying intersex people are allowed to consider themselves LGBT. youre not being a good ally. sit down, shut up and let intersex people talk amongst themselves.

[to be added to at some point im sure]

asexuals STOLE dragons from CHILDREN to make themselves seem PURE AND INNOCENT, the MONSTERS

#discourse tag