musician!sanuso au in which usopp is a very famous singer (by 'very famous' meaning: being famous in specific, indie circles but, yeah, famous. he has a decent amount of fans) under the name of "sogeking" and sanji (who thinks, by the way, that he's extremely straight) falls in love with him and his voice. important fact: usopp wears the sogeking costume, so sanji doesn't know what he looks like.
basically, sanji is friends with robin, and franky (her boyfriend) knows a guy (brook) that can get them all (luffy and zoro too) tickets to see this sogeking guy. sanji doesn't actually want to go, if he's being honest, but it's robin's idea so of course he says yes. the thing is- she- she likes weird music, alright? her taste is a bit different from sanji's and he isn't sure about spending all night listening to some guy whispering weird stuff into a mic with a bit of an 80s energy and dark undertones. but, yeah, robin asks, so he goes.
on the other hand, usopp only wears the costume because he's always an anxious, insecure mess, and refuses to let others know he's the one singing. the only thing his father left him before going away was a guitar and the guy can't even play it now in front of others. awesome. and he never really intended to become "famous", it's just that kaya, nami and vivi (he's childhood best friends with kaya and met nami/vivi in high school) told him to participate in a music contest and one thing led to another and now he has a manager and plays for a lot of people who actually want to listen to him. he isn't complaining, but he's glad he's wearing a mask.
so, sanji goes to see sogeking.
and it kind of, sort of, definitely changes his life.
he's glad zoro is already chugging his third beer and does not care enough to look at sanji, because otherwise he would see the complete blushing mess he's been reduced to while listening to sogeking sing.
he falls in love. it can only be that. he keeps telling himself that it's just his voice. that it doesn't mean he likes men. but he knows the feeling of love all too well to ignore the way his heart is pounding against his chest with the sound of the drums.
he's fucked. he knows he's fucked. it's not just a fan thing. fuck. he wonders if this sogeking guy kisses the same way he sings.
the night goes on and he's hypnotized by sogeking, but it doesn't mean he isn't having a fucking crisis. the last song is playing when one of his friends asks him what is wrong with him (he doesn't remember who it is, maybe franky) and those simple words send him over the edge. because no, he's not fine. and no, he doesn't like a man. and god, he definitely isn't in love with a guy he doesn't even know and would never recognize without a mask.
which is a funny thought, having in mind what happens next.
sanji storms out of the concert to catch his breath because this has never, ever happened to him before. he believes in love at first sight. he's a romantic, after all. but this isn't it. this isn't about looks or fate. it's deeper than that. he can't get rid of sogeking's voice still playing in his mind. so he ends up in what seems to be an alleyway in the back of the building, and anxiously starts to smoke like the addict he is. he said he was going to quit this... he definitely isn't now.
oh, but he misses the way sogeking finishes his last song and runs away from the stage. he feels he's going to throw up. too many looks on him. too much noise. too much pressure. not even nami can stop him before he ends up in the same alleyway as sanji, leaning against the door and taking deep breaths. in and out in and out in and ou-
and well. fuck. turns out he isn't alone because now the most handsome guy he has ever laid his eyes upon is trying to guide him through his panic attack, which only causes him even more anxiety. he wants to kind of die right now, because at least he'll die staring at an angel.
sanji, on the other hand, just has the need to help him because he understands how fucked up these things are. so he helps him through it. helps the stranger calm down until they can finally speak properly together.
usopp thanks him, sanji says that it was nothing. and usopp says something like: "i'm sorry you had to, uh, help me. it's just- sometimes crowds are just too much, you know? people expect so much from you sometimes and you just can't take it. there are so many people here. why? it's not- fuck. i feel so damn isolated sometimes. i- i'm sorry. you probably don't want to hear-"
to which sanji responds with: "no. it's fine. i understand. i think i do."
"really?"
"really."
their friendship starts with relieved laughs of understanding and a panic attack in an alleyway after the concert that changed their lives.
they exchange numbers for some reason. maybe it's still the rush of the concert a few seconds ago or the sogeking inside of him, but usopp is the one to ask him. sanji seems a bit surprised, but doesn't mind in the slightest to keep seeing usopp. it might sound cheesy, but the cook seriously thinks they were meant to find each other. friendships are weird all the time and he has always been very poetic, after all.
i'm not gonna bore all of you with what happens in between because this is just a random thought i had on my way home from work, but basically:
sanji and usopp become close. almost even best friends. and usopp is completely head over heels for sanji, so of course he will never tell him about being sogeking. not only because it's an identity only his best friends know about, but because it's embarrassing, and refuses to lose what he has with sanji for this. sanji loves usopp. they're practically best friends now! and- and, well, okay. he has to admit there's something between them that he can't put a name to, but it's more than an intimate friendship. and, somehow, he seems to never be able to let go of sogeking. so he never makes a move on usopp. he's stupid for being in love with someone he doesn't even know, but sanji is a romantic, after all.
there will never be somebody else. he keeps saying that. it's sogeking for him.
usopp is glad sanji is always busy when he has concerts, so that way he doesn't need to lie to him and cancel any plans! (the truth is, sanji goes to those same concerts all the time and usopp never happens to see him because sanji is always afraid of being recognized. in theory, nobody knows about him being so head over heels for the singer. his friends don't know he's there, either).
but one day usopp recognizes him in the crows (it was just a matter of time) and instead of getting all anxious and running away like he thought he would if this happened, he just keeps singing for sanji and only sanji. and if the cook notices this, he doesn't move from where he's standing. he's hypnotized.
long story short, usopp has a crisis because he doesn't know if he should tell sanji the truth, now that he knows he's a fan of sogeking. because sogeking is this cool superhero singer and of course sanji likes him. but would he like him if he knew who he truly is? so he refuses to say anything, even if the girls keep telling him to be honest. and sanji is having a whole crisis because he's extremely in love and they haven't even fucking talked (little does he know haha). and, besides, there's usopp too. he- he really likes usopp too, he realizes. romantically. it could be love, if it wasn't for sogeking.
and i'm going to be honest with all of you, i have no idea what is going to happen. but even if i knew i wouldn't tell you because i like it enough to be a fanfic and y'all are probably going to have to wait.
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Revisiting the "ROCKSTAR" Album and realising how artist, creative and versatile the music team was, like EVERY single song was composed SO differently!?!? Classical, European classical, western, kawali, Rock like HARD Rock, Dark obsessive, and wth idek atp 🤯 all the songs LITERALLY goes with movie, with situation the movie is showing AND as the character develops, the lyrical intelligence develops too like it's the character that gets inspire from different genres and implements it to his music and that's how the music develops 💕
To all my desi moots if you have heard it tell me which is yours fav. Mine is literally the whole album but the mtl would be
Phir se udd chala (😭✨)
Kun faya (the peace it gives 💗)
Sadda haq (the lyrics 🤌🏻😤)
Tum ho (nth to say just listen 💕)
Nadaan parindey (the emotions with the echo vocals AND ARR singing 💔🙁✨)
HAWA HAWA (the European folk they used with hindi lyrics got me twirling and the storytelling ✨😩)
Aur ho (it sits on the same genre as "him and i" OR "don't blame me" Like it's a very dark obsessive sad song 🛐)
Katiya karu (good for sangeet in my wedding with mingyu🤭😉)
Jo bhi main (from an artists perspective it's a very deep song damnn)
Tagging the desi moots: @kkooongie @nishloves @nihyunluvskookie @yoonzinuhh @mangocustard16 @aaniag @bittersweet-folder @staranghae @wonwoos-wineparty @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @etherealyoungk @leewonkyeom @neejaatjeh @woozvc @weird-bookworm @rubywonu @seokminded @waldau @joonsytip @smileycarat @nonononranghaee
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i saw this review a bit ago and i've been thinking about it a lot. i want to talk about it. i love hilton als, good god (although how could you hate any character more than oliver? i suppose it's the reality of people like farleigh).
"...while leading a nearly completely fictive life and pretending said gallery isn't paying them to be black. or some branch of show business. authenticity is their enemy, and declaiming 'whiteness'--usually in the press--covets it, reveres it. emotional exhibitionism is all, but not truth--if they could find it." this is such a poignant explanation of what it means to be colored and to exploit said color. declaiming whiteness covets authenticity. emotional exhibitionism is all, but not truth. GOD.
this concept of what it means to utilize your marginalization--to externalize it, to remove yourself from it only until it's useful, to disconnect so ardently from that which is a part of you. it's something i've thought about a lot. als' specific words get me, "the piddling career." because it is piddling, isn't it? god, is it meaningless and pathetic. it makes me think of archie's quote, "i understand this sort of peddling you're doing, trying to catch up to these people."
when i look at farleigh, i see him the same way i see the other boys at school that try so hard to obey whiteness and everything that comes with it. i see him the say way i see my younger self, surrounded by invisible strings that i was terrified of tripping into. running away from something so uncomfortable that you'll use any self-contained currency you own. unsure of when to use your race for the sake of social credit, or when to attempt some odd form of camouflage that never really works. and there's other things that follow or maybe prelude that; your body, your name, the fabric of what makes you an individual. it's heartbreaking and terrifying all the same.
i guess farleigh is my own form of escapism, in the way that i can imagine whatever future i'd like for him. i can imagine that he learns to love, deeply and entirely, what it means to be hurt and heal from it. maybe i kind of do resent part of this fandom for unknowingly attacking my hopeful imagination. whether they hate the character or whether they create their own imaginative realities of farleigh that don't really fit into mine. i have an unhealthy attachment to this character, basically. chatterboxing, who's abt to step into the ring w me?
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