#sorry i know theres more nuance for some people etc but i have been in therapy for so long. good fucking lord

[iscariotapologist]

thinking about how atrocious it is that so many people are taught to dwell on how god loves them Despite Their Sins. you must see love through the lens of self hatred, you have to believe you are evil before you are loved. the foundation of your perception of god and yourself is that you are inherently bad and deserve nothing good. figuring out how to deinternalize this is probably the hardest thing ever

#'love your neighbor as yourself' but you had better fucking hate yourself! #ps have you considered today how you are evil beyond your control and the reason god is so good is because he has the mercy to not smite #you for being born as an evil wretched human being #sorry i know theres more nuance for some people etc but i have been in therapy for so long. good fucking lord #and the words evangelicals will string together to try to justify this or make it seem less awful are insane #im sure i've talked about this before but im literally just sitting here. raising my blood pressure about it #anyway this is an anti original sin blog #me

[forlorn-crows]

sorry to jump in here very last minute you can just ignore this one if you want but i wanted to share my thoughts on Dewdrop. i keep seeing people say that he shouldnt be characterised as weak or over-emotional and trust me i 100% get it i have read so many fics where he has been made out to be way too angry and snappy and just rude. but also on the flipside i dont think hes the strongest or most well adjusted ghoul in the slightest. if we're going down the route of "Dewdrop has been through a lot of trauma" then i gotta say that trauma does not make you stronger. no matter how much you'd like to think it does it really doesnt. it puts you into survival mode sure but honestly it doesnt give you any advantage over someone else who hasnt been through the same stuff as you. and i dont know if im just projecting my own experiences here (because lets be honest a large amount of hcs are just people projecting so its pretty hard to argue that anyone's "wrong" about anything. and thats not even going into how the only characterizations we have for the ghouls is how they act on stage and different people will interpretate that differently) i definitely see Dew as being kind of a wreck emotionally at first. i think hes definitely healed and moved on and is happy and pretty stable now but also there are times where things do get too much and there have been times where he hasnt been able to cope properly. hes messy and complicated and he is very strong but hes not strong because of his trauma if that makes sense. and hes also soft and caring and sweet too thats an important part of his character too. idk if any of this makes sense ive probably contradicted myself here at one point and i really do respect everyone's hcs and idea but this is just my thoughts on it.

no absolutely, trauma is a nuance in itself. do i think dew is perhaps the most well versed in it? yes, however you want to take that lmao. i think with that experience perhaps he can make himself appear stronger, in order to protect if thats what he feels he has to do.

and yes, thats more of what i was trying to say originally. its not the trauma itself that makes him strong, its everything else he does because of it, in spite of it, etc. it IS messy and complicated, and he has ABSOLUTELY broken down about all these things we hc to have gone through. absolutely.

healing is a very non linear thing, generally speaking. im sure much is the same for fictional ghouls lmao. i bet theres still some really hard days for him, days where all he wants to do is get mad and lash out or curl up into a ball and be alone. maybe resilient is a better word for him. and yeah, he, like many of us, doesnt maybe want to be resilient, he wants bad things to stop happening to him lmao. but hes learned a lot from all those things and from his pack on how to start becoming a stronger person.

#essentially that boy is TRAUMATIZED but hes fuckin trying his best lmao #theres so many different ways hes expressed his reactions to it i bet #ask #anon #thank you for sharing btw!!

[noirineverysense]

You are 100% correct that there is a lack of POC representation in the whump community on Tumblr. However, part of the reason for this is because when white content creators try to interact with characters that are POC, they are often told that they shouldn't. That they shouldn't try to write for POC or even draw fanart of them etc. etc. because they aren't a part of that character's culture and shouldn't be trying to represent it.

So unfortunately, its a double-edged sword. Content creators are told to stick with what they know, so they do.

Also, quite frankly, can you imagine the uproar if a white person created a POC whumpee? If they created an OC who was black, and then proceeded to just have the OC treated awfully, tortured, kept as a slave (like any other whumpee OC that's ever been created.) I just don't see that going over well.

So unfortunately, the creation of content for POC characters is going to have to be done by POC content creators. There is really no way around that.

Anon i couldnt disagree more

Okay firstly POC arent a monolith, we're like the majority of people on earth so some might disagree with me and thats fine. But personally and to the other POC i've talked to, we want to be represented! We didnt come to whumpblr to be forced to relate to white people experiences. I'd happily say the majority of poc do want white people to write us bc like youre the majority here. And specifically in whump, if poc didnt like whump about us, we wouldnt be here. We're not here for white people, we're here for oursleves. We like whump, we here bc we like torture or comfort or pet whump or whatever. We're not here for white people to take inspiration from our irl suffering and use it for their white characters while we cheer them on.

Also like white people have written and drawn characters/whumpees that arent white lol, and there hasnt been that uproar. Also what uproar, there arent that many of us, are white people going to attack you? Why do you care about their opinions on poc? I think this idea of white people being under attack if they write poc is overblown and makes no sense.

Imo stick to what you know is dumb, like most of us dont know what its like to be tortured, yet we're all willing to do often intensive research. Yet we won't put that same energy into characters of colour?

Theres definitely nuance, I would be uncomfortable with a black character as a domestic pet for a white character that was written by a white person for example. Depends on how the writer handles it, but yeah theres nuance but that doesnt mean no poc ever can be written by white people. Like is research into anti racism and culture/stereotypes necessary, yes. But only poc writing characters of colour or #own voices, means our stories barely if ever get written. It leads to spaces that structurally white without any white person even doing the basics of trying to include poc. Also not every poc has a culture massively different to white people.

Like ofc poc writing poc is the goal, but to get there we need to make an inclusive space and that involves white people writing poc, sorry its true.

#more rambling #we deserve representation #im not gonna accept staying in a white space without trying to change it #white people treat us like we're aliens #actually no i've seen more aliens than poc actually

[rin-and-jade]

This question touches upon the notion of “traumagenic” and “endogenic”; as well as The Theory of Structural Dissociation. The Theory of Structural Dissociation seemingly supports endogenics as it states that there are “natural born” systems. They would be “endogenic” because they're not born from trauma, (as those who are “traumagenic” are).

I recently had a discussion with someone in a yt comment section about those two terms and they pointed me to you, so I just want to see what you think.

I believe in endogenic systems; because why would a book (the DSM) made by those who don't even experience plurality determine whether something exists or not? And as systems, those who are heavily categorized and misunderstood or looked down upon because they don't fit the singlet category, I feel as though we should embrace different forms of neurodiversity.

My questions are: what is the real line between "traumagenic" and "endogenic"? Are systems who were born as a system and weren't exasperated by trauma (like an endo) any less valid or real than those who were exasperated by trauma (traumagenic)? Or because of that theory, if that's how all systems work, aren't all systems "endogenic"?

Before reading: Long post. This purpose is to discuss and look at things in another pov, not intended to debate current beliefs/opinions. TLDR Provided. Last notes at bottom.

To clarify first, im in a neutral stance between the endo and traumagenic community as i focus more on the better of living for any kinds of plural people. Your question did seemed interesting and i had ever discussed this by myself on free time, so i do got some answers for you!

The line between these two are its origin and functionality, to put it in my opinion. The unique thing about plurality is that, i can totally see it being possible that it can exist outside of trauma.

Well, let me explain it to you like this:

An intact personality is where multiple facets are cohesive, and these facets that gives you that said personality is your identity. It's how you see yourself, and act like who you know. Basically, it's how you can act differently in different situations be it at school, at home, at somewhere else etc.

The thing about where personality is located in our brain has been a complex topic for scientists, if i remember correctly, there wasn't a specific spot for it as our brain has multiple areas with different functionality, and these regions cooperating creates a tangible output like how you react, or your typical behaviors.

I kept finding singlets discussing things that looks like really mild system things, and especially from this one youtube video (im so sorry i couldn't provide the link, it has been months ago i had watched but it discussing this too by a doctor or something. lmk if i have to find it again) quotes that the brain fools us into thinking theres only one 'kind' of us, not by it's exact words but close. These people can have different levels in terms of sense of personality unity btw, so not all singlets are the same either.

Now the origin and functionality for a traumagenic is different, because these states are being separated, and compartmentalized due to trauma. The presence of amnesia blocks the other side's of selves sometimes to severe degrees, now acting independently. There is also proof that the grey matter and the communication between regions are different, compared to a healthy brain (i can find the links for this too if needed). Well, you could read more about DID if needed.

So no, neither are less valid, but that doesn't mean both works the same or have the same processes either. Which means, not all systems are endogenic by origins.

Lastly, this is from what i had learnt and connect the dots over many sources i had read to ensure a wide perspective, nuanced understandings in topics. I am fully aware if some of you seem to disagree or see my views as wrong,, we have our own pov's ofcourse. i don't want to fight about validating my pov alright? Im also open to feedback/extra questions, im as well aware of the existence of fake/bad endos and do not support them.

TLDR: There are real life experiences and proof that supports the idea of being plural in mild/different ways, or ways that are different to traumagenics due to the complexity of the brain. Neither are the same in terms of how it functions and where it came from. Neither are also less valid.

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #sysblr #plural #system stuff #janswersask

[alazyparallelworld]

interesting thoughts... and sorry if im replying scarily fast, this whole thing is being spurred by an all-nigher (unusual for me). the question of whether the problems i face in my life are this horrible woe in need of immediate addressing or just me blowing things out of proportion and creating fake problems by thinking to hard is something i consider a lot, and i feel like it makes me take myself both too seriously and trivialize my own problems at the same time. i think im generally well-adjusted (no like, trauma-based mental illness, and i am fairly happy in life even when im going through stressful situations) and constantly moving towards a better handling of myself/my problems, and this contemplation is just another step in that process. like, is my current "solution" the best one, or do i keep looking? the private journal was a recent invention, and ive been enjoying it, besides when it gets tangled in attention-seeking patterns, though its fine usually

sharing meta and opinions is an interesting suggestion... its another way ive seen people i admire gain more prominence in the eyes of an audience of strangers (still not something im sure i should pursue, but on the other hand i realize that i need to accept that as a creator my goal is going to be tied to getting the attention of others and that its a fine motivation as long as its not all-consuming). i generally keep my interests to private spaces, and if i have anything more lengthy to say i kind of guiltily squirrel it away where less people will see it. i guess its interesting to think of new ways i can interact with the resources i have available to me (blogs etc). i do have a letterboxd, but i find i use it more for my own utility than as a social media

going on my own tangent, one of the ways id really like to connect with an audience is to create some kind of story that people can consume, but the more i work on it the further back being able to put something finished out gets. i know i could start small, like comics and short stories, but theres a lot of work that needs to go on in my brain and with my habits before i feel ready. soon ill hopefully have much more time to introspect and work on my craft to address that. interesting thoughts... and sorry if im replying scarily fast, this whole thing is being spurred by an all-nigher (unusual for me). the question of whether the problems i face in my life are this horrible woe in need of immediate addressing or just me blowing things out of proportion and creating fake problems by thinking to hard is something i consider a lot, and i feel like it makes me take myself both too seriously and trivialize my problems

also- curious about this special interest you mention. is it art, or psychology, or specifically the intersection between these things?

-

your uncertainty upon, "am i minimizing or exaggerating my problems" is not a question i can answer. however, i can (attempt to!) reassure you that both of these are genuine problems of their own right, and worth your time and attention.

for the first - minimizing - "how can i respect myself better? why am i so inclined to 'shrinking' my problems?" and the latter, exaggerating, "how can i identify a serious problem? why do i routinely make mountains out of molehills" - and nuance exists here, you seem to be aware of that. there are situations wherein i, myself, 'crunch' my issues (because i do not have the time, capacity, to resolve said pain) or 'heavy' them (because i feel it so badly, i need to be comforted, i need to gain Attention for my pain) - and when curled upon ourselves, we struggle.

'simple,' 'easy,' 'digestible' - that's why we, the Royal we as humans, lean towards black/white thinking. to comprehend entirely is to feel so, so much pain and in such convoluted ways - the body's anatomy is pictured as interconnecting lines, and the planetary system is drawn interconnected. this is not reality. humanity, whether in history or in our skeletons below bodily functions, do not exist independently nor in neat, orderly, if/then interactions. there is no, 'closest planet,' because that is not how orbits work. but, to Understand, we curtail.

if a sounding board - to know 'The Truth,' or at least the closest next-best-thing - a social worker could help in a "i got a degree for this!" sense, rather than the extreme of Going to Therapy. i, personally, see both a social worker and a therapist. but, in my previous ask, i anecdote'd my self-taught practice through DBT /CBT worksheets, scientific essays & reports, and checklists/criteria for my concerns. self-help books are a marketable alternative; '50 tips to boost self-esteem' with a cute cover is an easier sell than, 'a study of [x] people over the scope of [x] years, symptoms and recovery' you know…?

therapy also comes with the - how to say this - 'expectation' is not the right word, but generally, there is a 'recovery plan,' - lifelong therapy is unwelcome, and you (royal you) are to be Un-checkmarked. that's why i am not - GO TO THERAPY - bc it's not my place to say so, and there is a lot of implied stress to exit upon 'completion of services,' - …it ignores the complicated reality, too, of insurance, transportation, whatever… for me, information thru SCIENCE! was a key developmental stage, and i rarely see that sort of recommendation.

although. i. i brought up mental illness i-in metaphor, i apologize if i appeared to be… Diagnosing you… [DUCKS HEAD, APOLOGETIC] just, i've seen that 'GO TO THERAPY' is the first recc people give. And I think it is Silly, dismissive, and quite often in bad faith. i am merely detailing my own experiences & self-improvement re: my struggles of (therapy-adverse) mental illness, in the hope that it is either related to on Some level, or ignites curiosity in self-improvement for you.

I. Due to the. Underdevelopment and all, I struggle w/ (blanking on how to say this, too) being comprehensible. I don't speak 'flowery,' I have an above-decent grasp on grammar whether Prose-Proper or Internet-Proper, but my intellectual disability means I perceive language in a way that isn't 1:1. I am regularly misunderstood, whether it be the definitions of the words I'm using, or my intent.

with that the bulk of 'how 2 help' is over - back to art!

mm i write at turtle-speed so i can… Sympathize, with the mismatch of 'time' and 'creation,' I've had to accept that I cannot match my hand to my thought process. Somewhere, and recently, I've sighed that a machine cannot pluck my tactile-formed sentences and prose and unfurl it into writing…

(I don't actually hear voices - I 'shape' things, mentally. i.e Letters are created through hand motions; I can't translate the sentences from thought to text, because I can't realize what they are, either. I'm blind to the things I think, beyond a vague conclusion. This is why my art is so… strange…? and unreal. My art is how I perceive reality.)

'practice, practice, practice,' bluh. I hate it - It's true. The method to write/create faster is through practice - but, how can you practice, if you cannot even start…?! A quick (not necessarily a PERFECT) beta may be of help - someone to prod you, or edit what is existing.

…and matching with an editor can be, just as hard, as creation itself…..

ah, the special interest. I like, brain abnormalities, which branches into the body itself. I'm fascinated with its functions, which is why I begun to ramble on about the nervous system and why I said that, rather than the e- [cuts myself off]

#i ramble ★ #talk tag #long post -

[dyketubbo]

my ask didnt send i am going to murder. anyway BEEP CLASSPECTING... now im thinking abt that and aimsey. from the top of my head/only briefly thinking, beep as rage or void vibes with me? (obvs not the typical rage player you see, more like the nuance we were discussing). and aimsey as a life player?

oooo void beep would be suuper cool :oc rage too, he is very fucking stubborn and does have outbursts rather often (also rage players in canon usually have connections to magic, and then the homestuck rage players all had religious themes so, god stuff). meanwhile void fits beeps heavy "this is all irrelevant and you could never understand any of this", and his own belief that even what he does just doesnt matter. personality under a veil (not necessarily a facade), fundamental inability to understand and truly perceive it all.

id say he doesnt fit rage enough, if only because rage players are fundamentally about survival instinct, and, well. beeps already dead, and he seems to be perfectly fine with the fact that one day he just wont exist at all. hes not scared, though he is easily pissed off, but in the end he just sort of likes messing with shit and being in control. lil dickhead (affectionate)

honestly, since he almost fits rage but not quite, he.. almost acts like a prince of hope (unfortunate eridan kinnie). destroying beliefs and asserting his reality as the Absolute Truth, dragging others like aimsey into his delusions and being in a situation where aimseys putting her faith into him even though hes not a good person because she feels the need to believe in him and connect with him, because she genuinely feels like hes the only friend they have left, and because aimsey wants desperately to believe in what beep is trying to show her, desperately wants to understand. he shuts down things he believes to be false, to the point where he can make them false by simply destroying the problem.

hes a force of outward destruction, destroying what he believes to be flaws in others. theyre heavily defensive, putting everyone beneath them, believing hes the one thats doing it Right, and ultimately, he believes its his right to control things. he doesnt trust anyone, he reacts to any fear he may have with anger, lashes out, and the "TELL. NO ONE" scene almost showcases beep shattering and hurting aimsey before he steps back and give a quick "sorry!". his arc seems to be leading up to him realizing he can care about aimsey, that he can trust her to believe him and in him, and he seems to be dealing with the concept of trusting aimsey with his beliefs

hes definitely not a general hope player, but specifically prince of hope could fit. onto possible void class combos, with, first, the notable fact that we dont know what kind of person beep may have been in the past, other than that he was destructive. we know about some events in his past, and how he feels about them (kinda), but generally, this means hes very versatile and has many class possibilities, depending on how we want to interpret what we do know.

for example, he could be a maid whose now in the apeshit stage, stubborn and repressive. its entirely possible he got so tired of listening to the other spirits that he got to the unhealthy stage, exploded, and now without anything stopping him, hes doing whatever the fuck he wants, because hes decided none of it matters, that its all irrelevant and he doesnt have to care because its his fucking universe and no one can stop him from playing god. he spends his time doing menial things, because to him, its all equally unimportant, so why not waste time? he cuts down unnecessary tasks, weeds out what he finds useless, etc etc. basically, he should still be independent, but he needs to be brought back down to earth (metaphorically), because hes kind of burnt himself out and is now fucking with things because he feels none of it matters anyways

sylph of void sort of works too, mainly his meddling and tendency to shut down anything that could reveal something he doesnt want revealed, as well as shutting down others viewpoints and he covers up shit whenever he wants. his motivations are, really, mostly unknown to us, other than that he seems to think this is fun. otherwise, he also has a tendency to try and fix things he thinks needs fixing (like getting rid of fairies and space creatures), and will often try to fix mistakes he sees in mortals. however, slyphs are ultimately healers, and beep just. is not a healer, and he doesnt necessarily invite creation of void in any way, since void isnt really destruction of anything, and what he does invite is destruction of things. hes also just too active to be a slyph

so, with the previous prince assession, theres also the possibility of him being a prince of light, which would mean he would act more like a void player. hed destroy light with light, destroy the importance of information with information. they strip away the importance of things, uses plain fact to force the perception that nothings really important. he dismisses the importance of things, purposefully acts ignorant to draw away from what he knows, destroys knowledge itself from a power standpoint (wiping aimseys memory), and in extreme cases, can physically destroy anything in his way, or assert over and over that what he said/did isnt real, that nothings true or important other than what hes saying. again, little shit. if i had to make up my mind, i think prince of light fits the most

as for aimsey, i think life does fit him really well, shes definitely got the similar "girl next door" kind of vibes, while still being really interesting in her own right. she definitely starts out as a typical fictional life player, enthusiastic, energetic, genuine, wanting to effect the world. shes a normal girl (and this isnt an insult, rather, her being so normal ties the magical themes of the bear smp together really well, and its a perfect way to use a life player, make them be a catalyst for both the normal life player and eccentric others to shine). however, as she struggles with losing trust in bear and not being treated well, not having anyone that cares about them specifically, the energy starts to falter, but comes back when they feel the need to be rebellious. notably, while aspects arent super literal, she contrasts beep so much in just how alive she is, which fits her being a life player rather well. except, as i said, aspects arent literal, which means aimsey being a life player translates to her showing what life means in a metaphorical sense.

life is about agency. its about what you do, your ability to do so, its about asserting your will. not what drives you, but simply you doing at all. interesting enough, life players can be hard to pin down because life is about desire and agency, while the players class defines their ideology. life players can become obsessed with an idea that they need to do something, that they need to change how systems work, and often can cloak their want to fulfill their individual desires as altruistic want to fulfill others needs and desires (i.e., aimsey wants a friend and someone who pays attention to her and is genuine towards her, she feels like shes found that in beep, and as such starts to cloak her want to be his friend as aimsey wanting to help beep rather than aimsey themself).

as for said class.. this was, hard. because of how heavily influenced life is by the class its paired with, and because aimseys arc right now is trying to deal with feeling like shes too much and unneeded, it means that i have to really consider how that connects with which classes struggles. so, i ended up with sylph. aimsey is a creator, and she tries to heal as well. "allowing creation/healing of life or inviting creation/healing through life". from a literal standpoint, she tries to help bear heal by trying to get him to open up, to live, to make friends and interact with people. this could almost seem like a blood player move, but while a lot of aimseys arc is about bonds and relationships, shes not really a strong connecter or leader, shes just good at inspiring others to be, to her own detriment.

also notably, unhealthy sylphs crave, whether craving more of their own aspect, or craving another aspect when they feel theirs is not enough. aimsey talks a lot about how she grew up doing things by her lonesome, and now that she feels like people are moving on without her, she may be craving blood (that sounds so awful out of context). she wants attachments, wants to be the person that brings everyone together, but.. she isnt, not in a way thats appreciated. and due to her insecurities, she sees this as a flaw within himself, and as something to fix. so, she latches onto beep, and desperately tries to have as much of an effect on their life as they do on hers. like life players in general, sylphs try to solve their problems under the guise of helping someone else with theirs. currently, aimsey seems to be trying to find what she needs to do, because when she tried to do what she thought she needed to do, she (from her perspective) failed, so now shes trying to make up for her perceived failure within herself by trying to help herself through helping beep. i would think into it even more but i think its probably best to just leave it here KEKW

#angel answers #long post #im afraid to count the paragraphs on this one tbh #i dont think its That Much but it felt like it #beep bsmp #aimsey #bear smp #bsmp classpecting #hs

[modernday-jay]

Ok so I may be doing a thing so... which songs do you think have the general vibes of "we're semi-immortal nations who have lived longer than any human"? Sorry if this is kind of hard but I like your music taste and I think that you might have the right songs for the vibe I'm going for

tTHIS IS VERY LATE I’M SORRY! when i saw it i was like “shit i gotta think about this really hard” and i have been doing just that. my music taste is a little basic and i only ever listen to the same things so i’m pretty sure you’ve probably heard about these but!! hopefully they’ll help (most of these are pretty shippy too, i listen to love songs a lot) 

like real people do, hozier: it’s just got that vibe of being an ethereal being and having that automatic connection with other immortals because like y’know, you guys are the only ones that truly understand each other, the experience is mutual.

revolution, the beatles: it’s a little more cynical. i feel like the nations have all been through so much, especially the older ones, so seeing people or younger nations trying to change the world can sometimes just feel like a bit of a lost cause to them? it’s got that kind of “lmao good luck” attitude to it if you listen to it in a specific context. (make sure it’s revolution 1 and NOT revolution 9, that one’s... interesting) 

in my life, the beatles: they have lots of memories, so many memories, and this song is all about reminiscing and figuring out that despite all those memories, there will always be those select few that are very special to you 

from the gallows, i dont know how but they found me: idk enemies to lovers type shit, it’s also got such... a vibe. it talks about loving so much that you’d be willing to die for them and for nations i feel like death is a topic with so much nuance. some of them yearn for the short life span of humans (thinking about mr francis bonnefoy), some appreciate the immortality, etc etc. 

i always knew, the vaccines: idk it mentions bones and theres something about that that makes me think “old” LMAO jk jk, but it’s got the same-ish vibes as ‘in my life’ but they’re a bit more in denial yknow about realising someone has been special to them this whole time 

rocket man (i think it’s gonna be a long, long time), elton john: i am highly certain this is about how isolating fame can be, but if you twist that a bit, it can also be about how isolating it can be to be a powerful nation. thinking about england when he was super powerful, like sure yeah you’ve got this huge empire but at what cost? that kinda ‘it’s lonely at the top’ vibe. and since it’s more spacey themed, it can also be about america because if you think about it, he’s kinda following in arthur’s footsteps 

#your mans had a couple more but theyre all beatles songs and i really gotta stop with that LMAO #i promise i listen to music OTHER than the beatles #...its not like i was in their 0.05% on spotify wrapped BYE #asks&answers #asks and answers

[panstarry]

I have a question that might seem a little dumb. In your infographics about what to do during a protest, when you said “don’t post about it online” does this strictly refer to people who are planning protests & stuff like that or does it apply to everybody who is reblogging videos of what’s happening during the protests/riots, etc? I’m sorry if this question is stupid haha im just wondering thank you so much!

hey! that’s not a dumb question at all, no worries! (infographic, resources) this is going to get kinda long so scroll to the bottom for a summary.

“don’t post about it online” kind of covers all of the above. for people who are organizing, they shouldn’t be publicly posting about “was just at the [city] protest yesterday!” because that will help get them identified and tracked down. social media is being monitored and theres a whole list of keywords to avoid. many twitter users have been placed on government watchlists already / been contacted by the authorities in their homes due to posting about demonstrations (here’s one example but there’s cases of more - apparently someone got ip banned so every twitter they try to make gets suspended).

(thread of how to organize on social media & still be safe / untraceable)

(thread of communication apps that use end to end encryption) 

it’s best to leave ur phone at home bc cops are using stingray to find ppls social media & info, but that’s simply not possible for everybody so here are some more tips on how to deal with that. if the police show up at your home, please read this thread on your rights & the correct procedure wrt dealing w/ cops before opening ur door.

for those who are sharing videos of whats happening, there’s some nuance involved! taking & spreading uncensored photos of protestors with their face or other features visible is DANGEROUS and will put the people in the pictures at risk. we live in a surveillance state. protestors from ferguson have been murdered or “disappeared under uncertain circumstances” (meaning the govt covered up their murder) after their pictures went viral. 

the safest things to do is to make sure nobody’s faces are visible, and also censor the whole body with a black box (because blurring can be undone with the right technology). covering the whole body is important because by looking at footage on social media of protests, cops can take multiple images from different angles and discern the identity of someone that way; things like designs on clothing, shoes, etc can be noted & they can keep their eyes out for the person who was wearing that specific article of clothing later. if you see somebody taking pictures of people’s faces, PLEASE let them know immediately to quit that shit. if they persist feel free to knock their camera/phone out of their hands. there are white supremacists in the streets who are taking pics of people to hand over to hate groups & authorities.

footage is important for documentation purposes, ESPECIALLY when its the pigs doing something horrible or if you need evidence in court to prove a protestors innocence, but we need to be extremely careful with how we’re sharing and who we’re sharing it with. teen vogue made a great guide on how to effectively film police. an instance where it would be okay to spread pictures of people is when protestors go missing and we are trying to track them down, OR when individuals are arrested and people need to contact precincts/jails/etc to find them.

also something important to note is if you’re posting something, you need to screenshot the original instead of posting the original, because the metadata stored in a photo can snitch on you and reveal info on time/location, etc. here’s a tool somebody made for scrubbing metadata, but screenshotting is easier/faster/your best bet. better safe than sorry.

if you cant be at a demonstration, you can help by providing support from your home. donations and petitions are helpful but reconnaissance, jail support, transportation, & supply runs are very tangible and real things you can do to support ppl on the ground. if you are in contact with somebody doing the above, or if you Are somebody who is doing the above, please be sure that at least one person in the group has access to a phone so that everybody can be in communication. make sure to follow the earlier tips on how to be untraceable, if possible!

tl;dr please don’t post any of this shit on social media i am begging you. be careful with the posts that you circulate because there is a very very real possibility of y’all endangering people. people have been tracked down by authorities and with the way things are right now, we need to actively protect people from that kind of risk. thank you, stay safe!

*i realize that the majority of these sources are from twitter, but twitter is very much where most of the info is coming from rn

#answered #lovefruit #thank you so much for reaching out ! take care #ask2tag #// #long post

[vampireqrow-moved]

hey so I agree with a lot of the stuff in your post about the transphobia involved in the origin of the pansexual label, but I just have one question: what are the actual impacts of people with good intentions calling themselves pan? If you don't hate pansexuals and consider them bi, why type up a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of the origin of the label if it means the same thing in the way that most non transphobic people (your audience) use it? a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways (like bi and lesbian and anything really) and plenty of valid identities from problematic roots and evolve over time as people use them differently (queer, transsexual). so how is a person with good intentions using a not-perfect label in a way you don't like a threat to the community? if someone is using the label pan transphobically, wouldn't their bigotry exist independently? if pan people do not act in transphobic ways besides using the label pansexual, realistically what is changing if they call themselves bi beyond holier-than-thou aesthetic activism? plus, a blog on the internet isn't going to get everyone to stop identifying as pansexual, especially considering multiple prominent celebrities ID as pan. so why spend all that energy quibbling on semantics because some bi people use a slightly different word when you could be worrying about Literally anything else? just feels like you want to find something to argue about lol. extremely disappointed that I had to break a mutual

im going to respond to each thing you bring up chronologically- im not trying to nitpick or prioritize certain things you say ill just forget things if i go out of order and i dont want to miss something important. ALSO! i will be typing less formally (like keysmashes and shortening words n stuff) in this response than my og post bc its 1am as im starting to type this so im tired but i want to be clear that i am like. taking this seriously and im not like. mocking u in anyway if it could read that way?? i hope not but just in case anyways here it goes!

in terms of actual impact people with good intentions identifying as pan: honestly im not  sure the full scope of the impact this has, so ill only be speaking to what ive personally seen which might not be all. but like... id argue my younger self has good intentionals iding as pan. i wanted to support trans people, even if i didnt understand a lot of the nuance involved. as a result of this, i developed a sense of superiority over other bisexuals and a mentality that bisexuality was a primitive and lesser sexuality. that mentality is harmful, and although im not sure if it affected bisexuals around me (of which there are many most of my friends are bi ajfjfjf) its still a harmful mentality and can easily hurt people even if i specifically didnt. also using it even with good intentions, which i know many people have, still spreads and further normalizes a label that imo can not be separated from its transphobic origins. this effect is not as extreme as other forms of transphobia and biphobia by A LONG SHOT. the bi community faces a lot of other issues but that doesnt mean this one isnt worth addressing if that makes sense?

if i dont hate pansexuals: ik this is part of a larger point which i will adress but i specified this in my post bc i see a lot of other posts that are negative towards pansexuality have "i hate pan ppl" somewhere in it or a close equivalent. i do not shame these ppl for their anger, i just wanted to be clear i think a lot of pan ppl are bi ppl with good intentions choosing a label they dont fully understand based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality.

why write a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of pansexuals origin: ok 😭😭 the real reason here is that im literally just bad at summarizing. like thats literally it. i also like talking, its a bad combination. plus ive been thinking abt this for like. over a year im not even kidding and just like i have a lot of thoughts and figured if i was going to bother making my own post instead of rbing someone elses that i might as well get everything i wanted to say off my chest. ALSO BTW i literally got an ask like a week ago that was several paragraphs long asking me to explain my thoughts on why pan was harmful and some other stuff so like. this is partially responding to that and partially just me wanting to air my grievances ? idk if thats the right expression 😔😔

why write the post if my audience of people who identify as pan arent doing it in a transphobic way ? again sorry i didnt really understand the phrasing so i hope this is a vaguely correct summary!! um but like... again imo i think pan cant be separated from its transphobia and like. again imo iding as pan is like. a transphobic action/choice? obviously one transphobic thing does mean someone necessarily is like officially a Transphobe (it CAN be depending on the action but i dont think that applies here) but that doesnt mean there arent problems with what they did. this is like very complicated, but like. someone doing something harmful without the knowlege that its harmful doesnt make that person a bigot by any means it just means they didnt know. and i feel thats the case here? a lot of ppl (myself included until recently) know next to nothing abt pansexualitys origins so a trans inclusve sexuality might seem like a safe and good bet just because they dont know too much abt it, and like? i cant hate those people cause that was me for 5+ years and djgjfjdj you just dont know what you dont know!

basically i think iding with a transphobic label is inherently a singular transphobic action that doesnt make the person transphobic by itself, but is still a transphobic instance.

a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways like bi, lesbian, etc.: this is true and a point i attempted to make on my original post, but i might not have clear enough. my issue with pan is specifically that it is a transphobic response to a preexisting identity. lesbian isnt an attempted trans inclusive indentity that replaced an identity that already existed (which have many trans ppl identifying with the og label). transphobes can use whatever labels they want, but transphobes using a label vs a label having a transphobic origin is very different. bigots use inclusive and supporting language for their bigotry all the time but language that originated with that bigotry is worse.

many valid identities stem from problemstic origins (like transsexual and queer) but the words evolve: ok my paraphrasing is a little weird there. anyways. the thing here is that. those are slurs. reclaimed slurs that can be empowering to many people, yes, but slurs nonetheless. reclaiming a slur is taking a harmful word and wearing it as a badge of pride. first off, pansexual is not a slur (ur not implying that in anyway just. saying) and it isnt being reclaimed when people dont treat it as having harmful origins. transsexual is the way some people identify but ppl acknowlege its a slur and originates from transphobia. ppl love to act like queer isnt a slur, which is an issue in and of itself, but just. factually it has historically and is currently being used against ppl with the intent to hurt them. pansexual isnt on the same level as these and other words like the f slur, d slur, etc. pansexual originates from trans and biphobia WITHIN the community and not outside of it, and most pansexuals dont see themselves as reclaiming the title because they dont think anythings wrong with it in the first place. and reclaiming it just seems unnecessary considering its history? theres no empowerment from using pan as a label as opposed to queer or transsexual, and it just divides the bisexual community for no reason.

how is a person using a not-perfect label a threat to the community? ok i dont think its a threat but still an issue if that difference makes sense? id like to reiterate a few things ive said before, but for me personally, it made me look down on bisexuals and see them as lesser, and it made people around me see pan as the "trans inclusive" sexuality as opposed to bisexuality, and basically its usage just leads to further biphobia. is this the worst of biphobia? no!!! but its still biphobia and why not attempt to target and minimize that? i have no way to singlehandedly stop biphobia, but my post might get through to my friends who id as pan and that small thing is better than nothing.

if someone used the pan label in a transphobic way, wouldnt that bigotry be different from people using it not transphobically?: someone claiming all bi ppl are transphobic and only pan is the acceptable label is obviously a lot worse than someone iding as pan and saying bi/pan solidarity but again, the second isnt not an issue because the first one is a bigger issue, its just a smaller issue in comparison. i wouldnt say the bigotry is different, one is just worse than the other, but it still has the same problems.

if pan people dont do anything transphobic other than id as pan then what changes with iding as bi over pan other holier-than-thou activism: its just one less person using a transphobic label? which isnt that big but it might lead to their friends stopping iding as pan and cause fewer people around them to see bi as a transphobic identity. which is small scale stuff, i wont try to blow it out of proportion, but thats still a step in the right direction and hopefully more people follow with it. its not terribly huge or lifechanging but something small that may only affect the people close to you is still something rather than nothing.

a blog the internet isnt going to get people to stop iding as pan: oh absolutely not. honestly i expected to get unfollowed/blocked more than change peoples minds regarding the pan label (im surprised i only lost two followers so far honestly) but again, someone literally asked me to do this and i wanted to be clear on my stance on the label, since in the past ive been supportive of it. im not expecting the post to get more than five likes, its more directed to my followers rather than the internet as a whole. im not expecting a large impact, im hoping to change the minds of my followers and friends who id as and support the pan label. thats it. if something bigger comes from it- great! but thats not what im aiming to do.

prev point + many prominent celebrities id as pan: the first name that comes to mind is someone im not a fan of for separate reasons but thats irrelevant. i mean im repeating myself a bit but some celebrities in the past validated and made me feel excited abt my identity as a pan person when they came out, and it justified the label to me, even when i had doubts. i have never interacted with a celebrity and do not plan to change their minds abt their identity. again, my post was for my friends and followers and maybe who ever was scrolling through the biphobia tag and decided to read my post.

why spend that much energy worrying abt the pan label instead of something else: ive spent waaaaay more energy thinking abt a singular meme i didnt like regarding my favourite rwby character so like. maybe i just overreact to things lol. maybe i have a lot of energy and since i cant talk my friends ears off abt my favourite fruits or the different voting methods i learned in my math class or what would dreams taste like, then i gotta put my energy into something. idk. i have a lot of energy and honestly? this didnt take that much. but i felt it weighing on me as my friends talked positively abt the pan label, when i felt guilty for the superiority i felt over my bi friends INCLUDING my best friend and favourite person in the world so like. i spent enough energy worrying abt it, and like. in hindsight since its been over 12 hours since posting it, im thinking abt it less. i was more worried abt feeling dishonest with my friends than actually worrying abt pansexuality, but i figured i owed them an explanation for why my feelings around it had changed.

just feels like you want to find something to argue about: okay i DO love arguing but im not pulling this out of my ass for fun. its in response to posts ive seen on my dash, asks i recieved abt pansexuality, and my way of letting people know my views have changed and why since i know at least some people are curious.

i am sorry to lose a mutual as well, and i genuinely hope things go well for you, but uh yeah thats that.

again, if people have further questions im willing to answer them i just might take a while bc i have school and other stuff 2 do but uhhh yea sorry if im clogging ur dash sjfjfkkf

#asks #long post #anonymous #pansexuality #biphobia #transphobia #my post

[eroticcannibal]

What's recovery rhetoric? I think I have a basic understanding of it, but I feel like I'm missing the nuance of it, if that makes sense?

Ok I’ve learned my lesson, I’m typing this up in wordpad too and also I’m lazy so I’m cribbing from previous posts  (which I will link to in case anyone wants some further reading). Also it might not be necessary for u but I’m gonna cover basics in this in case any newer followers are curious.

So, SUPER short version, “recovery rhetoric” is the eugenics-lite way that recovery is discussed and pushed on mentally ill/mad/neurodiverse people. Recovery rhetoric is essentially the intra-community version of neurotypical ableism and their ultimate goal of eradicating neurodivergency. It’s an ultimately harmful attempt to try and assimilate into neurotypical society. Now I don’t think those that perpetuate it are intentionally malicious, I completely understand the desire to get better and be “normal”, but nonetheless the impact is ultimately harmful.

Things that are typical of recovery rhetoric:

Constantly changing redefinitions of “recovery”. Recovery means the problem is gone, which for most people is not possible, ever. Most people engaging in recovery rhetoric recognise this but rather than give up on recovery, which is demanded of all of us by ableist society, they attempt to redefine it, which creates a situation of one side telling a vulnerable person that “recovery is possible!”, which sets them up for the trauma of constant and inevitable failure for not living up to The Actual Definition Of Recovery, which will usually be internalised as a personal failing.

The insistence that their is One Way That Recovery Looks. To make this easier to discuss here I’m going to define this as “improvement” rather than “recovery”, but recovery rhetoric ignores the variety of people and their situations and experiences. The standard for improvement tends to be go to therapy, take your meds, “healthy” (read: respectable by ableist standards) coping mechanisms only etc etc which is inherently harmful for prioritising respectability over what is actually helpful for an individual.

One example would be the earlier discussion on my blog regarding addiction, the recovery rhetoric approach would frame replacement and even addiction itself as “unhealthy” coping mechanisms, therefore things that should be eradicated immediately regardless of the individuals situation. Their is no consideration for those who would be worse off in their current situations without their “bad” ways of coping. No consideration for those that respond differently to different things (insulting myself is FUN it doesn’t actually damage me, the same is true of others, please leave us be). Their is no consideration of the fact that “healthy” is subjective. Their is no consideration of the fact that for some “healthy” is UNACHIEVABLE. Their is no consideration of those who would be harmed by “respectable” methods of improvement, such as therapy or meds (abuse within mental health fields exists and is rampant). And this tends to breed a lack of compassion for those in worse situations than those who can just drink a glass of water and take their meds to feel better. It’s respectability or you aren’t trying hard enough and you just want to be ill. Because recognising that personal improvement is actually antithetical to the expectations of ableist society, those entrenched in recovery rhetoric will tear down anyone who is a threat to their viewpoint so they can hold on to the hope they will be “normal”.

(Also, I’ve just realised this parallels the CBT approach: removing a negative behavior results in the problem it is a response to being solved. Which is… not how things work but given how CBT has been pushed lately above all other forms of treatment due to low costs, to the point where some other treatments have been cut away completely, I’m… much less suprised by this aspect of recovery rhetoric. I’m copywriting this insight /j)

The idea that to be neurotypical and sane is the default, what we should all aim to be, and that existence outside of that is a deviation to be fixed no matter the cost. By God You Better Be A Productive Cog In The Machinery Of Capitalism Or You Have Failed. This links in a little with the previous point, in that what is considered “healthy” and “recovered” doesn’t always correlate with what is good for someone.

The pathologising of Every Damn Thing Even If It Is Harmless. Not texting back is because you are traumatised. Don’t do toooo much self care because that’s indulgence. Don’t trust people? It’s because you’re crazy, not because people have shown you can’t trust them. I could go on.

Coercive loss of autonomy through intra-community pressure. You are not allowed to be ok with being ill or mad. You are not allowed to disagree with professionals, you must submit to them and seek treatment from them. Recovery is not optional. Don’t you dare suggest there is nothing actually wrong with you. And of course listen to some random blogger who knows nothing about your life, they just want the best for you, you aren’t anti-recovery, are you?

The denial of outside factors in mental illness and madness. If you have a problem, it’s because of you, your brain, you have to fix it. Your recovery is down to you. Homeless? Abused? Can’t get medical treatment? RECOVER ANYWAY.

It leaves no space for those who have been harmed by recovery attempts and the mental health field. Certainly no space for those that have been killed by them.

(can u tell I’m getting lazy towards the end here? My hands hurt, sorry)

Recovery rhetoric may seem quite lovely on the surface, but the end result is a few uwu recovery drink-water-take-your-meds blogs feeling all morally superior because it’s easier for them, and a culture of attacking anyone who has life a bit harder.

MORE POSTS ON RECOVERY RHETORIC, PRO-RECOVERY CULTURE AND RELATED TOPICS )some are more serious, thought out posts like this, some are fairly casual exchanges of experiences)(check the notes, there’s some good additions)

[Example of the hostility towards those who cannot perform to the standards of pro-recovery culture]

[The value of “toxic” communities like pro-ana]

[Pathologising normal behaviors]

[What is recovery culture]

[A positive approach to personal improvement]

[The cost of recovery]

[Personal accounts of psychiatric abuse][Theres a ton more on my blog if u search “psych”]

[An alternative view on living with a weird brain, which I include mostly due to the hostility in the notes as an example of the behavior directed at anyone who does not perpetuate recovery rhetoric. IDK if the worst of it will show up in the notes cus a lot of people blocked me over that post lmao]

[Pathologising healthy behaviors]

[How recovery culture can cause a lack of trust in yourself]

[”What is recovery?” a perspective by a psychiatric survivor, I’d also recommend that whole site for anyone interested in anti-psych, recovery-critical and Mad perspectives]

[An alternative vision of treatment]

My blog is not the be all and end all of reading, I’m just not looking further lmao

#Anonymous #why did i write this much

[sillyandquiteawkward]

you're able to create characters that are just... so thoroughly well-made and i'm left wondering... how?? like... how do you do what you do so well? i look at any piece of art with any character, and even if it's just a quick doodle, i'm instantly reminded of everything the character is, and it makes me care for them. i just... i've been trying to do the same for years, but i come up empty every time. how do you do it? i'm sorry if the wording doesn't really make any sense

i dont know if i can give a straight answer. i feel like ive always been pretty decent at capturing nuance of humans, and im not trying to say that in some sort of horn tootin way. ive had many people in my life tell me that i have lots of “chihiro tapping her shoes onto her feet” moments when i draw art depicting humans and i think that might have to do with making characters pop. (and honestly watching that one bit of the bonus features of spirited away where they Do talk about capturing that sort of human realism each character has uniquely really Did leave a huge impact on me as a child growing up with art as a passion)

theres a certain attention to detail you need to pay attention to and keep consistent when you want to portray a fake person as a real human to create a connection. people stand different, make different expressions, gesture differently. and then you have to think about Why they do that. give them a reason even if its “assmcgee sags his pants bc he likes sweat pants, but the elastic is over stretched bc hes been wearing this pair for years (and hes a dumbass who thinks it looks cool)”

i dont know if this is really an answer to your specific question, i dont know exactly what makes my ocs resonate with other people, no ones explained to me what they think in that sense, just bc it tends to be a vague feeling and not concrete bullet point lists. i kind of just do everything by ear and vibe with my characters on a personal level. like, in my head, my ocs are their own people. i can ask them questions and see how they respond, how they hold themselves, etc bc i know their personality and past and how that affects who they are today. its kinda like actors being able to get into the headspace of their characters.

i guess another thing could be understanding personalities and knowing when to break away from tropes that help other people understand your characters. tropes are good for establishing basics of characters. like. ryan is cockroach spiderman. and you can draw all sorts of information from that. radioactive bug bit him and he has super powers. but instead of helping him and making him feel able to help others, ryan hates his change and it destroys his self esteem and confidence. this kinda makes the trope seem less trope-y and makes a charcater seem more human. humans dont fit into tropes. youve had a horoscope that was wrong before.

idk i feel like ive rambled and theres a lot of info here that may or may not answer your question but. i just really dont know what to say to answer your question in specific. theres just lots of things i dont understand why they work, but they do.