#sorry this is super oversharing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

speak-now-girlies-unite · 1 year

Text

?

the gifted kid burnout was strong this week.

i hate that phrase, because last year i told my best friend at the time "i think im burnt out." and she looked me dead in the eyes and told me that i was too young, too good, that my life was too easy for me to be going through burnout.

i think that's when i stopped looking up to her.

once i was talking to my "friends" during lunch, and somehow we started talking about crying on command. my day was pretty shitty so when i was the only person who could cry on command i wasn't really surprised, it just felt like crying. i blamed my ability on staring at the lights, and just being good at it, but on girl looked at me. and. she knew.

she wasn't even my best friend. my best friend was right there and she didn't notice. she was talking to someone else. but this girl that i'd had barely a few conversations with, she knew. she could tell. and that almost made me actually cry. i was so tired. so so tired.

this girl's my best friend now, and i tell her everything. i dont know where i would be without her. but this week was another hard week. i feel like im slipping into a depression or something, i don't know. i feel so numb, so tired. my math teacher takes forever to put in grades, so right now alot of my assignments show up as missing, so i'm failing her class. it makes me feel so embarrassed, so ashamed, but also i can't bring myself to care. im so tired. i want to scream. im angry, but im too tired to be angry.

i just want it all to stop. i want it to be over and done with. i want to be 37, living in a blue house with white accents and three adopted kids, and being happy. feeling free. at the same time i want to be 5, singing along to "party in the usa" and arguing with my aunt on pink vs. purple. at the same time i want to be dead, simply not existing. i want to never have existed. i want to not have to feel.

im so tired. but its not like im suicidal or anything. i've thought about killing myself, but it the way anyone would do when your friend nearly ends it all for themself. i wouldn't ever kill myself. ive got too much to live for. my friends would be upset. i would never find a partner. i would never finish writing a book, or influence a life. so im living. but im not happy about it. i just want to go to sleep, but i know that if i do, the morning will come faster, and i'll have to go through the world all over again. and again. and again. and again.

there's no point in delaying the inevitable, but i will anyways, because it makes me feel like i have some sort of control over myself.

one day its going to be over. just a few more years. this school year's almost over. a few more days till the end of the week. a few more months till the end of the year. a few more years till the end of school. will it ever end, truly? senior year seems so far away. and ill dissapoint everyone if i dont go to college. is that another four years? five? six? its so much. i just want to go to sleep. i just want to sleep in, and then crochet myself a top, and then watercolor in the sun. and then sleep. but i cant, and i feel like im dying. i dont want to die. i just want to get out of this cycle. wake up, go to school, go home, cry, go to sleep. wake up. go to school. go home. stress. cry. go to sleep. i cant do this. please, i need some sort of lifeline.

im so tired.

4 notes · View notes

ebbarights · 9 months

Text

that new sarah interview made me think of something i've been mulling over for a while which is the idea that something is sooo wrong with roman because whatever he has going on is connected to his sexuality. like be honest be fucking for real if we take sex out of the equation is he truly that much more fucked up than shiv or kendall?? maybe i'm too biased or blind or whatever but i don't see how. and if we do look at his Sex Thing. what exactly is so wrong™ about it? like sure he has issues but those are about himself alone. like he never explicitly does anything wrong as in sexually assault someone etc. and idkidk it just kind of rubs me the wrong way that people love to call him soo fucked up and wrong and weird because his sexual preferences don't fit into normative ideas of how sexuality should work. i feel like fans and some of the people who made the show talk about roman like his family talks about him which is like. not a good thing

like. out of all the things that could be connected to his Sex Thing. so that's (child) sexual abuse, asexuality, homosexuality, daddy issues, even fucking impotence or bdsm stuff or whatever. would you ever tell a real person that something is super wrong with them if they have that going on. because that's kinda gross and fucked up. and if you talk about roman that way just know that real people are listening to that too

#this is super rambly but. speaking as a person who has some of that going on #it makes me feel all types of shitty when people laugh about how wrong and weird and fucked up roman is #SORRY for oversharing it just. fucking hurts sometimes man #succession #leog

50 notes · View notes

deepcutbrotank · 9 months

Text

I just got on the ferry to head home after an 8 day stint in PTown and omg my heart and hole are so full

#I had a great time with my men and our friends for a week #and then I extended for one night and stayed with another couple who came into town #we got super fucked up and I got to wear my underwear to the underwear party #I took both their loads and their super sexy roommates #personal #oversharing #sorry it’s the lords day

26 notes · View notes

pessimisticprincess · 2 months

Text

it sucks so much when you crave attachment and connection so fucking much but you’re also so afraid of it and the fear just always wins dude lmao

#sorry oversharing for a sec :/#super loser of me to be so damaged and skittish about everything though

3 notes · View notes

sunmisbf · 10 months

Text

i want to get high so bad but it’s too early i’m going crazy 😭

#usually i wouldn’t care but on thursday i was super fucking high n my dad called me telling me he needed me to pick him up #i could barely rmbr my name u think i was going to be able to drive 😭 i hsd to call someone else to pick him up it was all so embarrassing #i’m oversharing i’m sorry #.txt

8 notes · View notes

ssuicidesslut · 1 year

Text

Need soft cuddle fucking with lots of forehead kisses and praise to make up for how shitty my morning went

#pwease 🥺#nblm nsft #ftm nsft #mlm nsft #trans nsft #t4t nsft #nblw nsft #nblnb nsft #pan nsft #nsft concept #nsft text #i had a headache and my dog hurt her foot and then i threw up from food poisoning 😭#sorry for oversharing i just don't feel super bonita right now

9 notes · View notes

grinchwrapsupreme · 7 months

Text

my doctor hearing that my pain has changed and worsened while knowing that my routine has not changed and telling me i probably injured myself somehow before he even bothered to ask what my diagnoses are is activating something in my brain that might end very badly for him

#sorry for oversharing #but i really had hopes for this doctor #getting super into my physio again so that in a few months when i inevitably wind up there again #with my pain even worse #i can confidently say to his face 'there is something wrong and you have to do something'

2 notes · View notes

sonego · 1 year

Text

.

#sorry i will overshare for a second #on this day 3 years ago my grandpa passed away and it feels a little. idk. surreal?#to be seeing all the posts and news sections etc about vialli #like it feels surreal that he died on the same day #obviously i know lots of ppl die on the same day. duh #i just kinda. feel weird #it's like today already had the death mark on it and now it has another? and it's a bit. a lot #not even bc of my grandpa bc that's a whole complicated topic/relationship Mh #it's mostly that every time i have to think about death i think of my grandma and #it maybe should've passed by now but it still hurts #recently i was talking w a coworker abt how our grandmas passed away when we were pretty young and she was like yeah it was a few years ago #i wasn't even 30 and i was like.. oh... i was like 13 #and she looked a bit taken aback and sad she was like oh you were super young #i don't ? even know if 13 is younger than the norm ? to lose a grandparent #my grandma did die p young tho so. yeah #idk. i guess sometimes i just get hit by such waves of grief #especially bc i wish i remembered more.. instead of just small bits and pieces that i try to go on by.. as if it was enough #as if i didn't miss her terribly while at the same time not knowing exactly what i am missing #it's just sad and it makes me feel like a little boy. girl. idk. just so small #i wish i could talk to her hug her know what she thinks of me now #whenever i think of how i've now spent half of my life without my grandma i feel like i can't breathe i can't feel i can't..#nonna vorrei tanto che fossi qui. vorrei solo abbracciarti un'ultima volta vorrei tornare indietro e venire a trovarti in ospedale l'ultima #volta in cui ne ho avuto l'occasione e non l'ho colta. vorrei rivedere il tuo sorriso.#sorry. i will delete this later

7 notes · View notes

thebendsbyradiohead · 1 year

Text

celebrating succession sunday by coming home to drink with my toxic family

#half a joke bc they acc bought all my fave foods & were super excited to hear about my trip to lithuania 🥺#my uncle is coming back from the us for the 6 month anniversary of my grandma’s death on tuesday so we’re gonna rumble then #anyways! sorry for oversharing happy succession sunday!#lina laments.txt

3 notes · View notes

skyjynxart · 10 months

Text

So June’s been... A Time.

Hello everyone! Firstly, I am posting this in more places than normal because I've actually gotten several (very sweet!) DMs expressing concern and I just don't have the energy to reply to everyone swiftly ;; So this is hopefully to help assuage some of those worries while taking up less of my limited brainpower right now- thank you so much for understanding!

Secondly, I wanna say that most of June has been fantastic! I did a lot of fun things and I'm over all very happy about the month as a whole, but my body isn't too pleased with me- there's a little more rambling about that below, if you're here for the TL;DR:

I've been slow/quiet, and I'm probably going to continue to be that way for a little bit! I will not be stopping work, as I can't afford to, but please be patient with me if I'm struggling to be chatty like normal! No need to read farther unless you'd like to know details about my health/personal situation, and I will not begrudge you at all if you wouldn't! And for the longer version:

( I'm very sorry if I come across as whiny, I don't talk about this often for a reason ;; )

Something I don't discuss very often, even with close friends, is that I actually live with chronic pain. I'm pretty well conditioned not to think about it overmuch, and to not even really think about it in those terms, but when looking at the "accurate pain scale" my standard day tends to be between 3 and 5- you can usually tell when I'm having a very good day and am more at around 1-2, because I'm extra productive. Typically, I blame this on my arthritis, however it's probably something more than that, as the arthritis is concentrated in my hands/wrists, but the pain is often in my entire body. I won't be finding out what it actually is anytime soon, though, because I'm self employed in America. hah

That said, starting from the end of May, I have been at a 5-6 consistently. The last week-ish, it has been at 7-9. Constantly. It's been hard to think, hard to move, hard to accomplish basic tasks. Picking up a pen or pencil hurts. Typing this hurts, not just in my hands, but all the way up through my elbows and into my shoulders. Today was a little better than normal, and I tried doing a tiny portion of my workout routine, and I regret it.

I'm sorry to the people I've fibbed to by offering other excuses- I know I have to a couple and it's just often easier to say "I'm tired and I don't know why".

My best guess is that this is due to air pressure changes- the weather has been all kinds of funky where I live as a result of the Canadian wildfires.

Regardless of the cause, generally, when I have days this bad where I can't really think properly, I will shift focus to the bare minimum of what needs done- if that's a commission because I need to keep up on my TDL, then I will endure a few hours with a pencil. If that's some household chores, I'll manage them very slowly. Unfortunately, such a prolonged string of bad days means I've utterly neglected anything 'non-essential'- which happens to include checking messages, responding to DMs, and... well, everything requiring brain function or body function except the bare minimum to feed myself and slooowly work through owed art ( blessings to you amazing, patient people who've waited on me ;; )

I'm trying- I really am, but this is a lot more prolonged than I'm used to, so I need to figure out new ways of coping. ( if anyone has any tips for bone pain that AREN'T taking a hot soak in the bath, I'd love to hear them, but you're not obligated! ). This is something I really hesitated to share at all- typically, discussing my health with people I know IRL results in a lot of dismissal, but I really feel it's best to be fully accountable and honest about this ( and maybe being honest with you guys will help me be more honest with myself about it ), so that I can communicate when I'm going to be quiet because I'm having health problems that are normal for me- seeing other creators talking about their health in an honest and open way like this has done wonders for how I think about my own situation, so maybe I can be that for someone else, too.

Anyway, sorry I so often seem to end up posting updates that are 5 paragraphs long- I should PROBABLY work on being a little less wordy, haha. Thank you if you read to the bottom, and truly, no worries if you didn't ( and are seeing this because you skipped to the end ). I'm doing my best and I'm going to continue to do my best for you. <3

#sky speaks #blergh sorry I really try not to post too much personal stuff??#also sincerely feels very AAAAH talking about this at all #I used to be someone who overshared and now I'm super!! paranoid about doing it as;lkjf

1 note · View note

leo-probably · 1 year

Text

Taking matters into my own hands and buying all the little indie games I’ve been eyeing for months because absolutely no one will buy them for me without specific instructions

#AND PLUS waiting until now there are a bunch of holiday sales so all of the games i got were super discounted :)#i <3 buying $2 - $10 games i never feel bad if i don't wind up liking them because the cost outweighed the risk #or however that saying goes #leo overshares #anyway uhh happy holidays i know some holidays are over already or close to it i'm sorry

2 notes · View notes

heartapnea · 2 years

Text

I genuinely feel like certain people take my poor social skills and lack of energy to heart lol I have a lot going on in my life and I’m sorry if you feel ignored or scorned by that but it’s no reason to treat me cruelly

#cw vent #sorry this sounds over dramatic but #respectfully. why me?#there are writers who are quite openly blunt/brash and sometimes even downright mean!!#there are people who involve themselves in drama or send hate or stir up discourse !!!!#I don’t DO anything. is that the issue ??? because I don’t integrate myself into the community enough or something?#do u feel slighted by that??? i cannot think of anything else #because I’ve had an anon tell me I think I’m better than everyone just recently which #is the total opposite of the truth #I just DONT HAVE THE ENERGY TO BE SUPER ACTIVE ON HERE #god if you knew . sometimes I wish I was an oversharer #if u knew the stuff I was dealing with maybe you’d leave me in peace

5 notes · View notes

sunnibits · 2 years

Text

why must the hottest bitches (me) suffer (common cold)