Dungeons and Daddies the Manga Lesson 33: An Extremely Goofy Episode
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Transcript reading guide / key
[xxxx] = identifier of text source
- = break between panels
(xxxxx) = text outside of normal speech bubble
This is My Least Favorite Page of Anything (Page 129)
[Normal]: This was all Willy’s fault!
[Dice roll]: Persuasion, 1
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[Panel Text]: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
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[Link]: What is this?
[Normal]: I’m so sorry I led us here…
[Taylor]: Link, we’re in one of the most respected American anime of all time.
(Which means we play by comic rules now. Left to right.)
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[Stewie Fucking Griffion]: Oh hello, new visitors.
Casting (Page 130)
[Text Box]: Taylor Swift as Austin Powers
[Austin Powers]: Do I make you horny, baby?
[Normal]: No! That should be me!
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[Text box]: Normal Swallows-Oak-Garcia as Borat with Pickle Rick on his shoulder.
[Borat]: My wife!
[Pickle Rick]: I’m a pickle!
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[Text box]: Scary Marlowe as Napoleon Dynamite.
[Napoleon Dynamite]: Figgin blows.
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[Text box]: Lincoln Li-Wilson as himself
[Garfield]: (Don’t worry this one’s with me.)
Pickle Punchline (Page 131)
[Text box]: Door locked with immovable metal rod.
[Link]: Science isn’t going to solve this one, it says Punchline, so…
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[Napoleon]: If we went to, like, a party and did like, lines…
[Link]: or like, Knock Knock?
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[Austin]: Oh! I think this just needs a cool groovy joke to open it up!
[Rick]: Why don’t you say something about how you have an immovable rod in your pants, Austin Powers?!?! It’s fucking so simple! I’m already doing two improvisations and I’m still coming up with Austin Powers jokes!!!
The Aristocrats (Page 132)
[Link]: We will be performing… The Aristocrats? What’s that?
[Borat/Rick]: It’s a notorious joke among comedians, where they tell the zaniest, most offensive joke they can. Watch this.
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[Text box]: Error 404: I’m not drawing this.
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[Napoleon]: Pfffffffttt.
[Rick]: Do not go in there. Say “Do not go in there.”
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[Link]: Uh. Sir? I’ve just been informed don’t go in there.
[Rick]: Jesus fucking Christ, Kid!
Transcript provided by @confusedfoam
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I have just rewatched "The Imperial City Dreams Of Thieves" (yes it's the fourth time. yes I'm aware that I may have a problem.) and it still cracks me up that, not only did Goemon immediately attempt to throw hands when he saw a guy who may or may not be Lupin - dude saw the slightest opportunity to try to skewer his boyfriend without consequences and he very literally JUMPED on it - not only that, but he CONTINUED to try to turn Lupin into human sashimi EVEN AFTER KNOWING THAT LUPIN WAS THE ONLY REAL ONE THERE. Lupin had already mentioned Goemon's missing Zantetsuken and thus proven that he couldn't be part of the computer simulation, and STILL Goemon tried to stab him with a broken sword. He didn't even have any particular beef with Lupin at the moment, Hell! for all we know they were on a romantic robbing-a-secret-lab date when they got yeeted into the simulation. No, he just decided to cut his boyfriend to bits for funsies. This man is completely unhinged, I stan him so hard.
Babygirl there is something deeply wrong with you 💕
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Thinking about how Kotetsus powers came in and he couldn't help destroying things. Cups, tables, walls - just like how we saw with Kaede.
How there's this sweet little kid who can't even do his homework because he breaks the pencil before it can touch down and pens splatter blue all over the rug and that's still for the best cause he'd probably rip the paper and snap the desk in two.
How this little boy who loves hugs and wants to throw his Whole body into showing how much love is stored in his too small frame learns to let his arms dangle at his side because last time he bruised Mom and what if this time he breaks her.
How walking to school is a prelude to awful when he can suddenly hear every cicada in the forest all at once and every shift of fabric is overwhelming and he can see every acne filled pore on his brother's worried face from a hundred paces.
How it doesn't matter if his power is on or not he can see what they think of him when he's made to stand in the back again because 'we don't have funding for Another desk for you Kaburagi-kun.' when he overhears whispers he shouldn't it doesn't even Matter because it's not like he could sort out who said it anyway.
Walking home with his chest full of anger he can't risk letting go because what if he hurt someone. Just like everyone said he would. It's Just a matter of time. Smiling when he gets home and saying he had a great day and not mentioning how he tore the straps of his backpack and had to carry it home because they're worried enough already. Burying cracked thermoses in mom's garden and saying he lost them because they look less worried, less horrified, at that than the shattered and spiderwebbed metal twisted into the shape of his hand.
How until Mr. Legend saves him (he saves Mr legend) those powers are nothing but a curse. You are destined to hurt and destroy. No my boy, you can Save.
That shift in expectation. No one expects anything good from him. Clings to it like a life preserver out on the sea.
And when Tomoe scolds him for hugging like a limp fish, "Come on Kotetsu! I know you want to hug me back- your not going to hurt me!" But i might still lives at the corners of his mind right until he's fully embraced her. Joy bubbling so intensely in his chest he can't help but pick her up and spin her. Kiss her and tightens his arms just that much more as she giggles. I saved you with these powers and now i get to hold you in my arms.
And for the first time he sure these powers weren't a curse.
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