#taking my health back

[ccorinthian]

fuck you ageism fuck you life ending at 30 fuck you makeup industry forcing us to feel bad about a natural process fuck you hustle culture fuck you instagram fuck you youtube fuck you glorification and deification of youth fuck you who make people feel bad for not having "achieved anything" in their 20s fuck you people who peaked in high school and try to drag everybody down by insisting it's all downhill after 19

#im not dedicating hours and days and weeks of my 20s of hard work on my mental health to cope w shit i went through #for some bitches on websites to tell me ill shrivel up and die when i hit 30 unless my life is perfect by then #youre not dragging me down to that mindset and i wont let your doom and gloom about turning older make me feel like shit !! #some of us have to rebuild ourselves from ground up and that shit takes time and thats FINE and if you think otherwise fuck off honestly #ageism is such a disgustingly overlooked aspect thats so ingrained in our culture and you need to recognise it #or you'll just feel worse and worse about yourself with every passing day bc guess what baby you cant go back!! #SICK of the negativity surrounding age on this website get yourself the fuck together honestly

[zaerxa]

Oh take me back (to the night we met)

#bsd #bungoustraydogs #chuuyanakahara #dazai #dazaiosamu #skk #soukoku #artists on tumblr #procreate #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #IGNORING CHAPTER 109 SO I CAN KEEP MY SANITY #TAKE ME BACK TO THE SIMPLER TIMES #BRING THEM BACK LIKE THIS #I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE #I swear to god this manga will give me health issues #they’re toxic doomed #15 skk #ITS SOUKOKUVER #I don’t care if its daytime in the drawing I just wanted lyrics that matches

[nordidia]

having a very rough night so raph doodles needed to be made

when in need, mash two interests together

#i love him so muhc ghghgh #and uh please stop sending me asks straight up demanding me to draw more /nm #if u've sent me an ask just regarding art before pls dont feel anxious this is about people actually DEMANDING like im some sort of machine #im absent due to my work/mental health situation going up and down #tmnt will ofc always be special interest but right now its in the back row #theres little time for anything but work and meetings and thinking about work and.. well.. monster hunter escapism egsfkhjhh.. #but yeah i promise im still here #and i want to draw him when i can #but stress is high right now and drawing takes too much wrist stamina to do often now #i hope u understand #sorry if i worded myself badly im very tired and stresed n its ... oh its 5am great. wellp. goodnight skafklgsjdklfnshh #my art #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #nordidia art #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #id in alt text #also one would think my art style is easy on my wrist but #i gorilla grip my pen and when i learned to write as a child i held the pencil jank #and it stuck like that #so its really rough on my hands #sadly

[omensofatimelord]

The thing about testosterone being a controlled substance means that acess to it for hrt is restricted. While it makes access a significant issue for many people and an easy and effective way to prevent trans men and mascs from transitioning (as we've seen terfs campaign for and succeed at doing in Britain) it also means that is very easy for health care professionals to be able to take it away from trans men/mascs arbitrarily. This is most aborant in cases where trans men/mascs are forced to detransition to gain access to abortions after being raped. However, the first sign of an issues tangentially related to hormones a gp, without any training in trans people or hormones, can and will stop a person's testosterone. Apart from how stressful it is to know that for the rest of your life you'll be dependent on the goodwill of a random person, this has measurable negative consequences for a trans person subjected too it.

Going off t fucking sucks at the best of time, but being forced off t will most likely result in depression and worsening mental health for a trans man/masc, who are already one of the most likely groups to attempt suicide. It can also put a trans person at risk if they suddenly start being visibly trans again, especially if they're closeted in, say, a work place environment. Trans people, including trans men, are already one of the most targeted groups of harassment and violence and sexual assalt and forcibly reducing or stopping t can out people and risk their safety. And a gp won't see this or care about this, or attempt to treat a trans man/masc first or ask for their opinion or situation.

Ultimately, testosterone is seen as entirely optional and so the first resort when something goes wrong it to take it away, when it should be considered the last resort, and is considered the last resort for cis men. And as long as testosterone continues to be a controlled substance it will remain like this.

(edit for clarification: I am a kiwi, this post was intended as a general critique of accessing t through health care systems - based in my lived experience in NZ and what ive heard from international trans ppl; including but not limited to the USA)

#Transandrophobia #This rant brought to you by my gp threatening my health and safety by stopping t for a couple conditions that would be treated if I were ci #Excess hemoglobin is documented but not well understood in trans men but there are option available that aren't no t #And high blood pressure runs in the family but no one's making my dad take t suppressants even though no medication is particularly effecti #If she asked me I would rather have gout and t than neither #But I don't get an option #And if I shout to loudly I'm scared they'll not let me ever take it again #She won't even put me back on the weekly injections I'm supposed to be on now that the shortage is over #Despite the fact she's worried my t levels are too high after the injection #(Which given they're normal after a week and how much I dislike the roller coster effect should be the first thing) #But if I start on the limited options and how t is seen as so optional shortages don't matter and different options don't matter

[choccy-milky]

Finally had time to catch up on the raven and the snake. I am just in awe of everything.

Also, I kinda like Clora hanging out with Garreth and Leander. (don't kill me 🤐)

aw thank you!!🥹💖💖im happy to hear it! and NO i wont kill you, you are so right. the garreth/leander/clora hangout was my fav part of the chapter and also the most fun part to write, and it gave me an appreciation for the leander and garreth dynamic, which is amazing

i now headcanon their relationship like brothers LMAO, garreth constantly badgering leander and getting on his nerves, while leander is just exasperated in dealing with him (BUT IN A FRIENDLY WAY) theyre like characters in a sitcom tbh BAHAHA (and to anyone wondering, im gonna TRY to have the next chap up within the first week of feb!🙏 ive just been busy with the dark relic comic + work + and now i feel a bit under the weather. ive been sleeping almost nonstop for the past 2 days LOL oop)

#garreth weasley #leander prewett #i woke up at 5pm yesterday after sleeping for 8 hrs and then only stayed awake for 5 hours before i went right back to sleep at 10pm LOL #and i slept thru the entire night and woke up at 6am #ya girl slept for 16 hours with only a 5 hour gap of being awake LMAO productive queen #AND THEN I ENDED UP TAKING A NAP AT 1 #all this to say i probably have covid LMFAOO but i have no tests #ANYWAY THATS ALL THANKS FOR READING MY RAMBLINGS AND FUCKED UP HEALTH SLEEP SCHEDULE #ask #choccyart

[crescentfool]

happy mochizuki monday!!!

#lizzy does art #persona 3 #ryomina #ryoji mochizuki #minato arisato #makoto yuki #i think ryomina is very comforting to draw... very easy to come back to for me. they have the honor of being a timeless ship to me. #i really enjoy drawing them in a silly loose way... even if there's not much to it other than them existing on the canvas #whenever i draw ryoji or minato. my brain has this little happy signal that goes off and jumps for joy!!! #'its the boy!!' the brain exclaims with hope and optimism and whimsy #i miss these guys a lot btw if you can't tell i cant stop walking back and forth in my room shaking these two in my brain #even if i do not have 'bigger' things to show other than a product of silliness of me messing around on a canvas #i think that's enough... drawing is something to cherish it's smthn that you have that no one can take away from you... #no matter how big or small!! if you made yourself happy with a draw. that is something that is worthwhile. be friends with yourself! #that said going forward im going to try and stop overthinking about art because i know that things will be fine if i just do it! #i have fun doodling them. and i hope everyone has a whimsical week ahead with good health and many smiles :)

[fewderpewders]

HAPPY TRIGUN 25TH ANNIVERSARY here’s smth for vashwood week !!

#trigun #vashwood #vashwood week #nudity #partial nudity #WW is the head of an orphanage and he hunts bounties to make money n save kids #and on one trip he finds a dragon guarding the kids #the dragon is injured but calms when he realizes WW is trying to help #WW takes him in too cuz. idk he’s like #why not. bless his kind heart #nurses the dragon back to health and takes the kids in #one day dragon turns into a human and tada! it’s vash #vash was in dragon mode for quite a long time protecting the kids so he got stuck that way #once he was healed and safe he could be humanoid again! #or smth like this #idk #i am not used to drawing dragons! but that’s okay #my art

[turtleblogatlast]

Thinking about the Don Suave scene and what it means in terms of LGBTQ+ representation because my brain does nothing if not torment me with random topics to ramble about on the regular.

Anyway, I just wanted to ramble about why I like the scene but to get it out of the way - the scene can very easily be interpreted in so many different ways, and all of them are valid. I personally see it as Leo having at least some attraction to a man. And the following is an explanation of my own interpretation and thoughts on it and what it means especially for Leo’s portrayal in the grand scheme of things.

Long-winded interpretation under the cut!

Now, to start with, it’s important to me that in the scene Leo looks at Don Suave in the very beginning and then for the entirety of the rest of the time the man is on screen, Leo’s eyes are closed. Yet, in the end, he is still visibly enamored with Don Suave, happily cuddling up to him as he’s being carried away.

You can very easily interpret this as Leo being spellbound and that’s honestly super valid and I believe he likely was at least somewhat in the beginning, but considering how fast he looked away and how he never looked again, I personally think it makes more sense to read it as Leo just finding the man attractive, at least somewhat. (For the record, I personally headcanon Rise Leo as bisexual with a heavy preference for men, but I want to be blunt when I say that any interpretation is valid. Literally any. Ace, pan, gay, bi, none of the above or a mixture of something new literally all of it is more than okay and fair. Hell you could even interpret this entire scene as more romantic attraction than physical and it would still work. Anything goes!! Don’t bother people, guys, really.)

The main reason I take this scene to be at the very least LGBTQ+ adjacent isn’t just because of how it’s portrayed, but because of who Leonardo is. Not in terms of Rise of the TMNT, but in terms of the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™️ franchise.

Leo’s a character who, while changing with each iteration, has still at his core been around for decades upon decades as “the blue one”. One fourth of the team. He’s the one most are going to look at as the Leader, and oftentimes he is the one closest to having the title of Main Character. Not to say the others aren’t just as important, but Leo’s presence in the A plots of basically all TMNT media is often something very main character-esque.

And that’s very, very important to note. Here we have a Main Character of a prolific and decades long-running franchise distributed by a children’s television network. You can play around with his and his brothers’ characters all you like, but there is always going to be challenges to dodge around, especially since this was still in 2018-2019.

For example, you can play around with their designs so long as they’re color coded turtles, but their sexualities? Now that’s tricky.

“But what about Hypno and Warren?” Not main characters and also they’re Rise originals. They have a lot more room to play around with than a character like Leo does. But even talking about main characters in the franchise, you could arguably have an easier time playing around with Donnie or Mikey’s sexualities than Leo or even Raph, as (unfortunately) the former two tend to get more B plots, so they’d likely have had a little more leeway (still not a lot though.)

So, where does this leave us?

It leaves us in a place where outright stating and/or showing undeniable proof of Leo’s attraction to men is very, very difficult. So, workarounds!

Workarounds like the entire Don Suave situation.

To be honest, as left up to interpretation and lowkey and deniable as it is, this whole scene means a lot to me because of who Leo is as a character. It’s just nice when we get so see even the bare bones of representation with characters that have been such a large part of pop culture for decades, y’know? Even if more would be so much nicer, this is better than I thought we’d ever get for these boys.

And, again, literally nothing I’ve said is the only way to interpret it, I’m more than happy when people interpret media on their own honestly, it’s just something I’ve been thinking of lately and I was wondering if others felt the same way.

Whatever you think when you interpret this scene or Rise Leo as a whole, I just thought this would be interesting to think about, even if it was ramble-y, haha.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt leo #rise leo #rise don suave #rottmnt don suave #I lied I’m back to ramble because I’m just #so bad at keeping my mouth shut #or uh #not typing word vomit #anyway- yeah this is my personal interpretation #I believe Leo was legitimately mesmerized by Don Suave’s powers…in the beginning #but even the series’ creator says it was ‘at least PART of what was going on with Leo’ so #idk it’s something that’s been on my mind and I was wondering if anyone else felt the same?? #may delete this later who knowssss #pleaaaase feel free to disagree I just like to talk lol #but yeah sometimes I look around at how much media has LGBTQ+ rep in it now and it honestly makes me emotional?? #(we always always ALWAYS could use more but) #we did not have even a crumb of this as kids #but also like most of that rep is new properties #and I just was thinking about what that could mean #idk man idk #once again please don’t take this as facts it is VERY MUCH NOT #man I was looking around for good images to use and found jack all #anyway tho did you know Donnie often has bi colors around him and Leo is often dressed in the colors of the trans flag- #okay anyway back to the caves I go this comic won’t draw itself #I gotta spray myself with water any time I go to type long winded essays because they’re not great for the mental health fr

[ibtisams]

I don’t want to sound like those who complain of “boycott fatigue” or “activism burnout” because what I’m feeling is not even close to that, and I am always aware that those currently in Gaza experience everyday is incomparable to anything I can and will ever feel. With all of that being said, I have also lost so much during these 2 months and not had a chance to process or grieve and my mental health has suffered tremendously because of it. I am so beyond exhausted and in a horrible place mentally so I am going to take a small break from being online while I focus on my mental health and getting my life together after these nonstop 2 months

#I hate to sound like I am complaining and diminishing what those in Gaza go through without having a break at all #it is a luxury to be able to take a break but I don’t think I’ll ever truly be able to take a break #Gaza is on my mind every second of the day I close my eyes and see those images and I dream of those images and I am as vocal as I can be #but I need to step back and put myself first and prioritise my mental health because I am really not doing well #I’m so sorry I know how this all looks and sounds but I think I am closer than most to the situation I hope you can see that #I have a queue and of course I will never fully be able to be offline so I’ll still check messages or mutuals can reach me on discord #🦢

[can-of-slorgs]

I'm personally blaming @starbiology and everyone who has reblogged or commented the other piece for this.

Bonus comic featuring my grundo:

#every minute i keep working on this i take psychological damage #neotag #neopets #vin memes #you'reall to blame for this monstruosity #i literally just searched “babygirl” pose and went “I... i can do that” #i didn't stop to think if i should though #Star i was gonna respond 2 the reblog with the first image only but decided it needed its own post for quarantining this... thing #again if youre seeing this with no context #you dont need context #i... i don't think there's any for that matter #just picture me writing all this tags while losing health in posion damage every turn #i am working on neo oc images i just need to render them but i.... i needed the world to see this before #my blog's already tainted anyway LMFAOO #yeah uh im dead in neo canon i drew this and inmediately got taken back by yours trully and never came back #also i'll try making a ref as well for my sona so i can draw them more im just really indecisive in what color to make him #split it is for now #i don't want to look at this anymore end me #i am making more drawings to kinda cover this thing from the light but at this point it just keeps reappearing like a mold #thats it im done see u all in kreludorian therapy #kreludorian health insurance in a farse

[hugs-and-stabbies]

ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!

yup 👍 still trucking on! Been having to step back from art a bit. At least stuff that I would post! I'm still working on stuff behind the scenes though :) I appreciate you checking in!! ♥ I actually have some more dead plate stuff to post rn!

#had a scary time with my partner's health and then I didn't really talk about this part much but right after i had my own health issues :') #my issues weren't as bad. but still pretty concerning. #so it's been a lot of resting and taking it easy where I can while still staying financially afloat! #for anyone worrying #im thankfully okay! the past few weeks my body has been reaching a more healthy state :) #so i've been taking this time to take a semi break and work on some other projects #but i can feel my drive for drawing creeping back 😁😁 which im super excited for!!

[serenescribe]

Saw a post about an AU where Silver was kidnapped in the Ghost Marriage instead of Idia and thought it was a fun idea. Could you write it for fic frenzy? Particularly Lilia kicking down the doors to save his son?

[✐] ficlet frenzy

Slam!

“STOP THE WEDDING!”

A familiar voice bellows through the air, one that causes Silver to perk up, a sliver of hope finally filling his heart. He twists his eyes in the direction of the sound, as far as he can, to catch the figure in the doorway — Lilia, his father, decked out in an elegant suitor’s suit, a dark vest over a collared shirt, a fancy green jacket draped around his shoulders.

The ghost bride startles at him, lips twisting into a frown. “What do you want?” she asks, before her eyes widen with recognition. “That hair… Are you one of the wedding crashers?! Don’t you dare try to ruin my extra-special day!”

Silver stares at his father with pleading eyes. Surely he will get him out of this mess? Silver regrets getting him entangled in this to begin with, but… the prospect of dying and spending his eternal afterlife with this rather obsessive ghost isn’t exactly what he wishes to do.

Silver isn’t sure what he expects. Perhaps he had expected his father to fight back — the ghost bride didn’t seem like she would go down without a fight, after all. But when Lilia’s scowl smooths over into a pout, arms folded as he strides forward, Silver blinks in confusion. “I’m afraid you have forgotten something crucial when it comes to a wedding,” Lilia says in a terse voice.

“And what would that be?”

“Why, asking your suitor’s father for his hand in marriage, of course!”

Dead silence. Silver stares, mouth parting in utter shock. All of a sudden, he can feel many, many eyes landing upon him, stares from the other paralysed students, the ones who’d tried — and failed — to rescue him. This is the way their secret gets revealed?

Then again, he reasons with himself, if it’s to save him…

The ghost bride startles, eyes blown wide. “His hand in marriage?” she echoes. “But… Oh, I had never even considered the thought! Are you implying that you are his father?”

“Why, of course I am!” Lilia scoffs, thoroughly irritated, hands resting on his hips.. “Who else could possibly raise such a diligent and dutiful boy?”

“So that means… Oh, I must ask you for his hand in marriage? Would you possibly consider it, dear future father-in-law?”

So this is how Father chose to deal with the situation, Silver thinks as he watches Lilia get into a drawn out argument with the now-worried ghost bride. Not with violence, but with wedding traditions…

…It is a rather good plan, he decides, a smile slipping onto his face.

#my writing tag #tumblr drabbles tag #ficlet frenzy #twst #twisted wonderland #twst fanfiction #twst writing #lilia vanrouge #twst silver #i know the idea of lilia beating up the ghost bride is tempting #but i got this silly silly idea and i had to write it ahfndhfd #im so sorry for taking a while to get back to ficlets!! #this one required me to look up the event again TT #and i have been wrangling uni and my health all week

[hel7l7]

#trying to write a book #and keep my head above water mental health wise #will probably be back #in a month or so #idk #i always take a break and then end up missing this place

[gilbirda]

what are your thoughts on watcher’s new announcement?

So.

I've been watching the Boys since they started back in 2016 (i think around that era), and honestly I'm very conflicted about the decision. I've read so much stuff in favor and against the announcement and I don't know if my answer will satisfy you.

I have managed a community and I have the blessing and curse of being somewhat of a Name, experiencing the ordeal of being Known, and I can tell you that 1)you can never please everyone 2)people will always rush to crush you the second you do something they don't agree with 3)people will always twist everything you do with the worst faith in mind and 4)fandom forget very quickly that at the end of the day you are just human.

I think they made a calculated risk based on a purely economical viewpoint. I think they considered their loyal fanbase and how willing people have been so far with spending extra cash to support them — The live shows, the exclusive streams (like the Valentine's Too Many Spirits) and Patreon. How much of their fanbase was the "broke students" tumblr claim they are and how much was people with spending money willing to pay extra for them.

I also think that the decision seem stupid if you look at it from the perspective of "why the hell would I pay $6 to watch such little variety of content?" and that's a Correct Assumption, but Observe — they have been very slowly pulling everyone that made Buzzfeed famous and enrolling them in. Very recently they gathered the Worth It boys, the second show that kind of carried Buzzfeed back in the day (apart from the Try Guys). I think they can't talk about it right now, but the goal is to relaunch Buzzfeed but without ads and without making it the soulless content machine it became. I think their dream and goal has always been making what Buzzfeed could have been with better management, kind of like "If I was the Management in this company, things would have been better" dream fulfillment. That's why they made the direct jump to a streaming service instead of the logical steps of Patreon-exclusive content or even jumping to Nebula like other youtubers. It was never meant to stay one single channel, it was supposed to be bigger.

Is the projection of making a "better Buzzfeed" worth risking this step? Time will tell. I don't know. I personally never cared about anyone except Buzzfeed Unsolved. I still watch Unsolved on repeat. Is my comfort show. Maybe they are overestimating how much people care about other shows not hosted by them.

Although they did hint that "we want shows not hosted by us". This tells me that they are settling down, they want to ramp down a little bit, do the hook with Ghost Files aka Unsolved Supernatural Lite for the streaming service, and once people are hooked, launch more shows by the old-school Buzzfeed people. Won't be as big as a show hosted by Shane and Ryan, but it will still make people feel like they are getting their money's worth.

I would forgive all of this if only they didn't use the excuse of "if we want to do Netflix-level productions we need money". I'm sorry but that means nothing to me. We loved them when it was a powerpoint slide show with 2 idiots in a set. We didn't fall in love with the toys or the trips or the high tech. We didn't fall in love with the fancy animations at the beginning of Ghost Files episodes that they are so proud of. That was all their idea.

I've seen this trend of content creators ramping up their creations to an unsustainable point, completely crash and burn and then having to apologize about having to step back. Then making it the moral trap of an argument that they have been doing their best to bring quality content to their audience, and of course making it impossible to argue against. If you speak up and say "well we never asked you to break your back" then you are ungrateful audience. That's exactly what's going on in here with the Watcher announcement — "true fans" criticizing people who point out the fact that they created this money problem on their own. Is not the fanbase responsibility to cater to a company's bad money decisions. Is not our fault that they decide to scale up their operation to a point they "haven't been making a profit for 2 years". It's unfair that the fans are at each other's throats for daring stepping back and saying "I don't want to be part of this".

I don't think Watcher Entertainment is actively wanting to collapse their fandom like this. I don't think this was a calculated move. But I do think that they are a group of adults trying to make a career of something they enjoy doing. I think they made this move with the perspective that fandom is not end all and they can always rebuild it.

— And that they are planning on making a machine that can work without them, and that requires breaking something in the fans, it requires kicking themselves out of the pedestal fans have put them on. They know they won't be allowed to have a normal life until people stop looking at them waiting for them to say their phrase.

In conclusion I think they made a choice that made sense if they are planning on separating Watcher Entertainment from "The Ghoul Boys" fame, and it makes sense if they are aiming at something bigger than what they've been doing now. Money of course is the goal and the reason presented, but there's a lot that they are not saying and we will not know until it happens.

Until then, it does feel like they have just shot their careers in the foot.

Also I'm salty that I can't join the service because I'm outside the US.

#gil answers #miki-meh #watcher entertainment #watcher #you don't have to agree with me this is just my 2 cents #so far they've done everything right and this feels out of nowhere and very dumb #it makes me think there's A LOT they are not saying #they are planning on something bigger and riskier and they need to know how many of their fans would blindly follow #i also think they will step back from hosting in like 1-2 years or so #all the contemporary youtubers are stepping back right now #havent you guys noticed? #always the same 2 excuses #'the stress is taking a toll on my mental health' and 'ive been doing this for 10 years i want to move on' #i think they are preparing for making that step and dont want to say it

[latexwife]

a silly billy

#regretevator #roblox #bive #my art #fanart #i haven't drawn actual fanart in forevar because it did insane shit tomy mental health & ocd back in the day. #but i like this so i'll take my chances on posting it :-) #also for clarification; #i am not a fanartist most of the time & i yaaam #putting it in the main tag for category purposes but if you're under 18 & try to follow me i will block sorry!

[ranminfan]

New years resolution was to not fall in love to grumpy old fictional men....

#Can you blame me though #because why did they make him such a dilf #scrooge a christmas carol #Ebenezer Scrooge #gilf? #nah he's not at the ripe ge for a gilf yet #So I took a break for like 2 months cause I was having mental health problems... and I'm still taking things easy #but I am getting back on drawing #YAY 😁 #still on the process of getting myself back together #my art