#thank you for my childhood lol

[avrilsboy]

when i was probably six or seven years old sitting in the back of my dad's lincoln continental i looked out the window while we were stopped at a red light and thought to myself "huh i wonder what makes the lights switch colors" and with no moment to spare not a single moment to ask my parents who were sitting right there my brain supplied me with the answer of "well it has to be trained mice." and i responded back "oh of course because they're small and smart :)" and i then proceeded to that as an obvious truth until i was like 13

#i cannot express enough how it was just like. such an obvious thing in my head LOL it's like knowing water is wet...... #so my whole childhood i would look up at the stoplights and when they switched i would think yaaay thank you mice <3 #🛹

[presdestigatto]

GUYS????????

Looking at the timestamps, this was one month before Max’s first f1 race, and they last karted together in 2012 3 years prior. I have so many questions, like, were they cool at this point of time? Clearly they were friendly enough for Max to joke like this, but you can also notice that Charles only replied to Esteban LOL

#lestappen #it’s quite interesting to try to mentally put together how Charles said they used to hate each other #but also their admissions that they talked a lot/things like this #like when did the hatred stop and when did they decide to grow up? #it also makes you realise that their rivalry was really played up for the cameras lol #imo this also plays into max’s tendency to pretend grievances simply don’t exist #like when he said he and charles were totally cool after austria 2019 even though we all saw the unfollowing #lastly: its wild how most of the grid are childhood friends/acquaintances #thank u to the person who rt-ed this onto my tl ❤️

[good-beanswrites]

🎬: About Es being a past prisoner and the secret 11th prisoner in your AU. But advance apologies if I'm overstepping into your AU!

I had this idea from a story that pretty much did the same thing. Going off there are novels/manga on Milgram and there being another Es and their own prisoners running another Milgram (but differently) I imagine this Milgram projects has been going on for a while, and our Es was from a previous project who might have gotten the worst verdict (or the most spared out of everyone), and was given this final task as a warden for the next group of prisoners. This is why they so readily agreed and had their memories wiped for this Milgram project instead of being weary on a shady project on judging an almost crime, they've already been through this.

(BTW is it bad and worrying for one of our ten fav prisoners to be the next Es if this is legit...)

Anyway, that's why Es is in Milgram in your AU, I guess? And the lore drop that Kotoko picks up on them being the 11th prisoner, I can imagine her also talking to Kazui since he's a policeman to see if she could cross out any theories on who Es is (Did they look familiar. Possible missing child. Any cases to do with an almost crime by a child other than the 10 of them here). Kazui knows Kotoko wants to investigate, but reminds her that, like in their prison while the trial is on, the facilities they're in have high security too. They do have the freedom to move about, but still limited.

If they're trying to investigate Es, maybe Fuuta, Kotoko and Mikoto can try to do the hacking on the comp Mikoto's allowed to use to Photoshop some shots for the MVs and photos (Fuuta and Kotoko seem to be able to search up info they need I think...). Yuno, Mahiru and Muu can work on charming the staff to see if they can spill more deets on Milgram. Not sure how much the group can gather, but oh boy fun times in Milgram can turn into another sort of stress in this AU...

No worries!! Like I said before, this whole au has been a fun collaborative project, so there's no overstepping :) I am sorry I won't be writing a lot on the ending until we get more info, but that's just the perfectionist in me who doesn't want to be proven wrong 😅 Still, I love tossing around and digging into ending scenarios, I really love this!

Because that would make a lot of sense why they're so willing to subject themself to the whole experiment! They remember how tough their experience was, and are confident they can care for the new set of prisoners while doing their job. I'm imagining they get the opportunity to return as guard, and get to have a nice talk with their own guard first. Once they fully understand what it's like, they're know they can handle it and sign up. It adds a bit of drama, too, since they must have been really young committing their crime in order to complete a years-long experiment prior to this one. They would have been like 10? Oof. (Now I wanna see their three trial songs 👀)

And like you said, that also brings up the question of the new warden. Though I think it's based on verdict results, I can just picture Jackalope keeping an eye on everyone during filming. He studyies their interactions and personalities, keeping his own set of notes on who would make a good successor. (I'm not going to go through every character but there are pros to any choice, it's very fun picturing them all taking the job.) Haha, on the other hand, maybe the reason Kotoko keeps bringing up her role as Es' partner/bringer of justice is because she did discover the truth. She drops as many hints as possible so she can be chosen next 😅

Ooh, I love her working with Kazui on an investigation! The fact that eh may know details on recent crimes (and almost-crimes) is super fun to work with. He's the last person who's going to spill a secret, so the group could go several trials without realizing Kazui had actually heard all about their situation this whole time.

(Getting sidetrack for a sec, I'm suddenly realizing that he and Kotoko may have heard things about the crimes in canon, too. They're a bit unclear about how much time passed between the murders and arriving to Milgram, so maybe he heard some things. I don't know how well-connected Tokyo police departments are, but Yuno, Fuuta, Muu, and Shidou are all nearby. There's definitely a chance he caught word of the vigilante nearby, and she heard about the odd policeman's suicide. Both of them could have heard about the tragic housefire, the disgraced doctor, or horrible schoolgirl murder nearby.)

Anyway, I like that idea of Kazui wracking his brain for any similar cases. Though, if he had, Milgram may have had the foresight to wipe parts of his memory, too. Maybe he does end up using his call to reach out to Hinako and have her look into it from the outside. Sadly, Kotoko seems the type to sacrifice her personal call to reach out to a connection who can help as well. I'll have to think about how closely Jackalope monitors those calls, hm.

I'm going crazy over prisoner investigation team !! Kotoko and Fuuta had the online knowledge to find some good info, and Mikoto and Kazui seem like they'd have a huge network of people they can ask for info and favors from. Haha, I'm torn whether Mahiru would have flirting down to a science or if she'd refuse to do it since it wasn't real love 😂 Still, she's very good at reading people and could definitely help the others charm and bribe their way into some restricted areas. Amane and Haruka can also charm with their innocence/cuteness (though I'm not sure Amane would). Shidou seems very organized, he'd have a plan and backup plan and backup-backup plan ready, no matter what happens. I think it's even funnier, then if Milgram had run several experiments prior. Jackalope would think this was just another runthrough, and for the first time the ten subjects decided to organize together and Cause Problems.

I think there's a beautiful irony in a story featuring ten prisoners planning a jailbreak to save the prison guard...

#milgram #as always thank you for sending 🎬!! these are so fun and big brained ough #lol yeah a fun fact about me is im Such a stickler for canon even in aus like this #the pain of writing a mahiru x boyfriend fic and doing the whole thing without ever saying his name 💀 #so i wrote the last chapter of the au as vague as possible so that it had a nice ending but i may go back to make things more accurate when #t3 ends and we (hopefully) find out who es is #i love that this eases some of the pain knowing that es knew exactly what they were getting into :') #and wont be too fucked up upon getting their memories back since they knew it was faked #while also adding extra angst that theyve been there for so long -- theyve spent so much of their childhood within milgram #i was just recently looking at that post about their character locations and had it all marked out on a map #i swear i dont just know that off the top of my head asdfsd #i never realized kazui and kotoko would have outside knowledge >:0 #i really love that concept #between the ten of them they hit so many skill sets -- theyve got the brain and the brawn and the people skills #theyve got intimidation and innocence #theyve got the experience of 40yos and up-to-date kids #theyd be unstoppable -- rip jackalope 😂😂😂 #lights camera sing your sins #ask

[agentsnickers]

for the ficaversary: anything tarfy or cctt? you’re literally my favorite writer ever and those two are amazing

"Hey, babe?"

"What?"

"Do you think we should get bunk beds?"

David rolls over to face Benny through the darkness across the room. "What the fuck."

"Something Les said earlier made me think of it," Benny says. "That we live like a fifties sitcom couple."

"So you'd rather live like eight year old twins?" says David.

"Nah," says Benny. "They make twin-over-full bunk beds, y'know? And I was thinking maybe we could share, and then Les could have a real bed."

"You thought the solution to giving Les a real bed was getting us bunk beds and not shoving him in with Leah?" David says. "Babe. Darling. Light of my life. What the fuck?"

"We don't have to," Benny says.

"I don't actually hate it," David says. "It's just weird."

"Nothing about our lives isn't weird," Benny offers. "Maybe if Les moves into our bedroom Sean will stop gently offering support for my broken heart."

David snorts. "You know, even with a twin-over-full I think we'd actually gain floor space."

"See?" says Benny. "And I wouldn't mind sharing with you, even if it's not, like, the biggest bed in the world."

"We can think about it," says David.

Benny laughs. "Nice!"

"You're ridiculous."

"I know."

David shuffles his blanket around until he's warm again. "Can we go to sleep now, or did you have any ideas for redoing the dining room?"

"I do, actually, but they can wait for the morning," Benny says. Then, softer, "Night, Dave. Love you."

David hums, content. "Love you, too, Benny."

#newsies #davey jacobs #buttons newsies #near miss adjacent #i had this idea the other day and never got around to writing it so here you go!! #and a fun finn fact for you: my childhood bedroom had twin-over-full bunk beds #i think my parents intended me to have the full bc i'm oldest but my sib was too little for top bunk when we got them #and i LOVED my top bunk so i didn't ever want to swap #now sib uses my old bunk as a shelf lol #also thank you!!! <3

[jojo-schmo]

I do not claim to be an expert in the science of drawing Borbs! (Not yet, anyway) But I found myself making this silly little tutorial in tribute to my younger self, who wasn't as experienced in breaking characters down into shapes to make them actually managable to draw. And now I love drawing his Royal Nemesis! So here's how I personally approach it these days!

These goofy graphics might not even be that informative or helpful. This is so self-indulgent to be honest. But they are nonetheless a tribute to Baby Jojo. I try to make her proud of older Jojo.

If you are older like me and have a couple years (or more lol) of drawings to look back on, remember to make content that would make the younger version of yourself happy and excited to get to where you are now, and beyond!

And if you're towards the beginning of your art journey, save all of your doodles, drawings, and sketches! You will thank yourself for it one day, even if you don't realize it now! <3

#thank you for coming on my silly mental ride here #even if you draw a literal avocado with tea cup handles pasted on the sides you will have drawn a better dedede than baby jojo #also the little kirby with a sock on his head is a character ive had since childhood haha #his name is cardigan #i will bring him back when i figure out how to #just know he is glad to meet you #art tutorial #? #can i even call this a tutorial lol #kirby series #king dedede

[abyssal-wonders]

i like to think they learned about the marketing business at the ripe age of ten by running a grape juice stand

#genshin impact #ragbros #kaeya alberich #diluc ragnvindr #my art #traditional art #styx scribbles #sorry for all the younger ragbros lol i have so many ideas abt their childhood #don't tag as ship please and thank you

[alliluyevas]

in terms of the states whose affiliation as part of "the south" is somewhat more debatable, for a lot of them there's a sense of regional overlap. like we can all agree on the deep south but is texas southern or western or both? what about the ozarks? (i would personally include the ozarks in the south and i think texas is both southern and western). there is also a LOT of debate about virginia which i think is kind of insane because if you look at the pre-1900 history of virginia there could be absolutely no question that virginia is southern. the only reason people are arguing that virginia is not/is no longer a southern state is because of the increased suburban sprawl emanating from dc into northern virginia that is largely populated by transplants from elsewhere and i think that's definitely changed the dynamics of the state as a whole significantly but a) not all of virginia is nova b) i don't think that outweighs the historical background.

#i will say i am the only person i can think of who grew up in dc/nova and considers myself to be southern BUT i dont consider myself to be #southern bc of where i grew up but bc my dad is from georgia and my whole paternal family lives in the deep south and a lot of my childhood #friends had parents who were transplants from like. new hampshire and obviously did not consider themselves southern in any way #so like...is NOVA southern in any meaningful cultural sense in 2023? not really. but i would absolutely still argue virginia is a southern #state. thank you for coming to my ted talk lol

[dearmrsawyer]

hello! it has been a long time since i've talked through my day! this one had such a big turnaround that i needed to document it, mostly for myself.

i had an appointment with a 'root canal specialist' today bc i had my first app with my new dentist a couple of weeks ago and his xray revealed an abscess wow how fun :) i couldn't feel it bc that tooth has a decade old root canal so there are no nerves to reveal there is anything going on!! fun!!!! he's a super nice dentist, i like him but he made me very panicked lol he was showing me how close it is to my sinuses on the xray. so he was like 'go see this guy asap' bc he wanted to know whether there was a chance my old root canal could be redone or if i'd have to get the whole tooth removed/an implant, all for the low low price of $5-6000 🙃 but obviously you can never see specialists asap!!! so i've been walking around for 2.5 weeks with dread/phantom pains that by the time i saw him the infection would've spread and idk had catastrophic consequences??? and then today when i went there was CONSTRUCTION at the turn i needed to make and the road was closed and i was like i don't know how to get there from another street??!?!?!??! i spent 10 minutes driving through suburban streets and my navigation kept trying to take me back to the original route with the closed road, and its the middle of town so there was nowhere i could just temporarily stop and look at the map, and i called them almost crying to let them know i'm coming but i might be late bc i just can't navigate these streets jegjkdgkjdkg

anyway i MADE it, i think i parked in another business's parking lot and just hoped they didn't care lol and then the lady at the desk was like 'our other specialist will have to see you bc the guy you're here for isn't here' so i was feeling uhhhh not good after my dentist talked him up so much. AND my dentist didn't send over my electronic referral and i had LITERALLY been stressed that he would forget to do exactly that for the whole 2.5 weeks oh my god, thankfully they didnt even seem to care. but then as i was filling out the paperwork in the waiting room 'no judgment' came on, and then 'wolves' right after??? and i was like this seems deliberate to try and calm me down 😂 and when the substitute specialist called me in he was so extremely calming and talked me through my options, one of which is indeed to try and redo the root canal bc he's confident he can, it would still cost a lot but wayyyyy less. he also said i could 'do nothing' (which is obv risky, and i would never do nothing, but that made me realise my infection is not about to bust through and spread across my sinuses any second, one fear down!). he was just softly spoken and super relaxed and he made me feel like this was not in fact a crisis and said i could go and think about what i wanted to do, and just call for an appointment when i decided. and then when i went out to pay 'i want to write you a song' was playing 😭 i asked the receptionists if there was a 1d fan in the house and one of them said it must just be a random playlist on spotify, so this was all a complete coincidence????? i told them i was enjoying it very much.

anyway long story short i had already taken the rest of the afternoon off work to go work in the garden, but figured there was a good chance i'd be so down about an unexpected and immiment $5000 hit that i wouldn't want to do anything, but i drove home feeling extremely reassured that i had options and i was not on the clock to decide, and also very relaxed by 1d playing in the background the entire time. i have also been extremely stressed that i would need to take the next step asap and this would be such a bad time as mum is working 50 hour weeks right now bc of the referendum, so i am on caring duty with nonna/nonno anytime we don't have carers here. but there's time! i had a v good afternoon in the garden after all!

#i am extremely comfortable at the dentist (i had the kindest dentist all through childhood/adolescence/early adulthood) #(who put lots of time into making us comfortable/safe in his chair when we were tiny) #but i have a lot of dental fear bc you only get one go #(i have v regular dreams of my teeth falling out lol) #i also have v weak teeth rip my mouth is a filling factory #i do eat a lot of sugar lol but my teeth clearly suffer more than other ppl i know who eat just as much #anyways the point is everything was monumentally stressful/scary until i stepped inside that place #im very thankful with how the entire appointment played out #for the substitute specialist and also for the soothing tunes lol #im not sure what i will do yet but i will think about it. bc i can! #i am crediting god for this one 😂 he took good care of me today #tp

[sqlmn]

Seeing as the person who drew this for me and listens to me yell about these two and Rudyard is currently Illegal For Tumblr, I have been given permission to post this!

So a huge thank you I'm crying @ gunhorse ;0; my kids look great and I wuv them... I'm sobbing.

(And for those wondering, the agent named Bravo encounters Katale a fair amount though completely intentional from her. He thinks that she's just a very nice woman who got mixed up in the wrong crowd and she doesn't seem to wish him hard and he doesn't wish her harm so in the end when he sees her he's putting his gun away into a shoulder holster because he's a Good Boy.)

#two crime bosses and a very good boy #i had a different tag plotted for them but i have long since derailed lol #its now the katale show and she holds it all together so were scrapping the agent based title #also the names are clifford is the agent but he goes by bravo cause it summarizes his entire personality #bravo is the name of one of the 101 dalmatians in some iteration (thank you 101 dalmatian wiki) #b is for bravo as in code word and hes a spy slash agent #and also he is immensely weak to praise and bravo can be said to approve and praise #therefore its his whole personality bc mans a puppy #and also clifford (name suggested by gunhorse actually and im keeping it) bc big pubby and my childhood #also well known as clifford the big RED dog which is very fun bc the crime bosses are constantly wearing red #and they end up befriending the good little agent so him being a part of the red crew in name is a good thought uwu #and then katale meaning stronger than you is the woman and she is actually second in command by choice #she doesnt WANT to be number one she wants to have someone else do That Stuff #but shes known crime her whole life as she had multiple relatives in the crime organization #and then rudyard belzer the top dog now actually worked his way up from a henchman type status #and i love them all dearly #tw blood #long post #i forget if later tags are counted still and i will be so sad if they arent i just forgot ... #i wanted to talk about ocs so bad... #gift art

[spiderziege]

also speaking of die drei ???, heres an obligatory ask so you can spend us some more details on the shadow game (opens hands)

aaaahhh so the thing with tsg is. i think about them a lot and i have so many unfinished sketches, but i never really post about my ocs cause 1) there is no actual coherent story and there probably never will be, and 2) i kinda forget that sometimes people are actually interested in oc stuff :')

heres two things from a while ago, which actually you mightve seen those already cause i think i posted them on my priv twitter? but yeah. and if you want a completely random and contextless snippet then theres this horse here. Maurice starts collecting a bunch of trash and scrap metal that people leave lying around local yards and gardening plots (allotments? is that the right word here? kleingärtenanlagen is what i mean) and out of boredom he starts building new things out of that, starts out with small random structures until he gets to building these life-sized horse statues. and then SOMETHING happens i just dont know what. i assume they become sentient at some point. also Louis is somewhat haunted by a horse but i think thats mostly unrelated. its just if i come up with any story then a horse is gonna show up at some point

#tsg #the 'building stuff out of scrap metal' thing is very inspired by a childhood memory btw #one of my friends was living close to an area of gardening plots and the people there would dump ALL their trash in this little valley- #in the nearby forest. and cause we were all dumb kids we started carrying all the trash up the hill and building huts out of like- #half-empty containers of pesticide yknow. great things. we stopped after my brother got a really nasty cut on his leg from a rusty pipe #(he was fine btw. no tetanus. but it was still scary) #also SORRY that i cant give anything that makes any sense theres just. so many versions of these ocs in my head atp #the gist is 'they live in a town that becomes somewhat sentient' but thats kinda it i dont know much else #im not great at coming up with coherent things of my own thats why im mostly a fanartist lol #but i do have a lot of sketches that i wanna finish at some point! one day i will! #anyways thank you thank you for the ask <3 #the shadow game #asks

[everyone-calm-down]

I think we as young people get caught in thoughts of activities we SHOULD do and things we SHOULD like when really we’re allowed to not like them.

I never went to a high school party, like I had sleepovers but I never went to one of the classic movie parties that get framed as a universal formative experience for American teens. I just never wanted to.

So I thought I’d have that formative-partier experience in college. At a college party or the club or somewhere. “The club” whatever that means. But I never did. I don’t drink, and I got tired at 11pm because I went hiking in the morning, and none of the friends I made went to nightclubs either. At least not regularly. So in the four years I went to college I never went to a nightclub.

And I’m not sad or regretful about that AT ALL. There was a time where I thought I SHOULD be tho. I SHOULD be sad that I never went to a rager in my early twenties. But I’m not. I SHOULD be sad that I never went to a high school party. But I’m not. I look back on that time and don’t regret a single thing. Not in a “I still have time to be a partier” way (even though that’s true) but in a “I’m not a partier and I wasn’t a partier and I’m probably never going to BE a partier” way.

And that’s fine. I like the adult I’ve turned into and none of the things I like about myself were traits that would have come from getting drunk to EDM. And there aren’t any traits I wish I had that would come from it either. I might have missed some iconic experience but I am not worse off for it. And I’m not better off for it either. I just am the person that I am and I like and dislike the activities that I do and that’s okay.

#bored at work posts #one of my friends who was never a clubber sometimes expresses regret at not doing it when we were in school #and I don’t agree with them at all lol #I never wanted to do that shit anyway #and I won’t feel bad about it #they have this regret of not doing this activity woven into youth Americana #and I think it’s dumb #which I did NOT say to them out loud thanks #like so what #you didn’t party #it’s not like you missed some critical checkbox of childhood and are banished from the experience forever #you are ALLOWED to never go to a nightclub for the simple reason that you don’t want to

[katyspersonal]

When you started drawing? And how? Your works are so detailed and you feel the perspective so Q_Q Your drawing of old hunter from DLC is incredibly cool, I am looking respectfully

Oh- You mean this ( x ) one? Haha, yeah, it was an art commission, so I tried to give it the best I could... Though maybe using something I was paid for as a chance to practice perspective was a little irresponcible :') But the customer was happy, and this is what matters!

To be honest, I've been drawing for as long as I can remember...? I have quite the regrets about having basically none of my drawings from childhood survive, because it's been a LOT. But I've been going over the top with details, colors and settings since the age of like, 4-5 I think? I recall the caretakers at kindergarden REALLY loving my drawing of underwater, because I killed it with variety of fish and seaweed, despite having no references or knowledge! Also, fun fact - the very first art criticism of my life from me was towards a girl that colored every woman in her coloring book as blonde with blue eyes! I criticized her saying that there were other colors for people and that it was boring to be so samey dsfjjdshfsd Had to apologize, but.. yeah, it was the ultimate "I've always been this way" moment if I've seen one. :')

I used to visit classes to practice my drawing in elementary school, though! But it was mostly environment and animals, when I was more interested in drawing people at that time! The period from 8 to 12 years was the one where I kept creating OCs obsessively, and stories for them, and I've had like 6 comics I've been drawing and coloring at the same time (mostly comedy + fantasy)! I think what really inspired me to start creating the comics and characters that were mostly young girls with elemental powers was the Russian comic, Rainbow Knights x) (Журнал "Юла", припоминаешь? хд) I was obsessed with it, and I was obsessed with excuse to use more colors, effects and nature/elemental aesthetic. And yes, it was all trdaitional! I love using crayons, markers, pens and pencils for coloring. My clumsy hands were never good for paintbrushes... I moved more onto digital around the age of 14. It was when I've found a summer job, and earned enough money to buy a tablet! So.. I started prioritize digital art since then! But it had the form of me first drawing something on the paper, and then scanning and fixing/lining/coloring it on the computer for a LONG time! Well, it was taking some time to get used to, as well, so I also had some drawings I did with my mouse and vector tool in PS or SAI, like this:

It is one of the only few remaining "ancient" ones, since most of them got lost forever on the old hard drive! ...I still HAVE this hard drive, I just have no idea how to extract anything from it.. It is kinda broken :U But if I get my hands on very old doodles trapped there, I will share!

^ I believe this was the first doodle that I did 100% on the computer AND with the tablet! Without mouse, without first drawing traditonally and then digitally, but just on the computer, from start to finish! But it was still hard to do, so I kept with the use of paper and pencil for some more while. Like- I hoped I'd find some old drawings for this ask, but all I found were traditional versions of some of my drawings!

You could tell that using traditional paper + pencil were beneficial for anatomy and proportions. And that I used to be better at that, VERY much better. And that it was sorta... easier to 'get lost' in the process? It was a simpler life when not only I was far less depressed and broken, not only I had more spare time in schoo/uni years, but also just... I did not feel burnt out. Or guilty over the fact of not finishing new drawing "fast enough" (and thus, looking like a loser). I also had less things online to drain my spare time, less distractions... I kinda miss that time, really...

All in all, I've never learned to draw PROPERLY. I was self-taught but not studying too hard, mostly I was just analysing art of artists I loved to improve my own, and asking advice from good artists to fix this or that! Hence, my skill used to be better! Year 2015-16 was my most productive year artistically! I've been drawing a bunch of (then) popular cartoon stuff, as well as TONS of fanart for Rick and Morty RP community, and all the things were sooooo bright, colorful and full of energy...

And now meet the man that sorta ended my art career :^) I've picked interest in Mark (Endlish localisation called him Marx and I hate it lol), and that pulled me into the rest of K1rby. Except I could not actually play anything (besides 64 Crystal Shards that I emulated), so I compensated with letsplays and anime. And Super Paper Mario was a side obsession. xD But.... yeah, since MARK, dark ages for my art started. No, no, my art was good! Awesome, even! I kept people begging me to "please draw K1rby again" for years since fandom shifting! Words like, 'no one ever cared about this universe and characters the same way you do'... But! Drawing 'creatures' for 2-3 years completely destroyed my prior (already loose) knowledge of human anatomy and proportions, and I am still struggling to recover that former skill! :')

Finally, year later, around February/March 2021, I've gotten pulled into Bloodb0rne! Badly. And thanks to Mic0lash. Huh, it is always some madman, isn't it? xD But I felt very self-consious about my art... I felt like serious, detailed, dark and beautiful atmosphere of BB deserved better than my "overly cutesy" and "tone-deaf" art.... annnnd if this sounds like something I'd never say, but rather as an unfair criticism from some antsy reddit-ish asshole? It is because it is EXACTLY what it was! :')

But in either case, the Doll was the first time I've used paper and pencil again in many years. I felt so... alive? I recall the feeling I could only describe as 'blood returned in my veins' but spiritual, you know? It felt like so much fun! To remember how to draw traditonally, to break out of my 'round cutesy' comfort zone- heck, I even downloaded brushes for my SAI for the first time in my life, just to color the characters better! Learned new coloring style, too: usually my coloring was very rigid and relying on very concrete colors for shadow and base.. but from this point on, I prioritized more 'chaotic' approach, as I felt it was more appropriate!

....and so, now we are here. x)

You could tell that some of the things I am just used to persisted, and that colorful, "childish" energy is still slipping through the cracks. Soulsb0rne games are ideal for how my mind works... but perhaps not for how my soul works. There is just something in me that craves that sillyness, overly colorful designs and settings, and maybe ER is closer to that aesthetic? Yeah, had I not been criticized on my art harshly upon joining BB, maybe my art would've been way more cute and 'free'! I always loved drawing many details, but something about the route I've taken about drawing made it very heavy. My brain short-circuits at the AMOUNT of the details I keep in mind, yet I can't rest unless I got it "at least 90% correct", even when it is a darn shitpost ;-; I will figure out what went wrong compared with the way I used to draw humans..... someday.

Thank you for asking, though! Ha! Honorable mention: tons of shitposty comics and doodles I kept drawing in classes, both school and uni! x)

#ask replies #personal #doodles #memories #creativity #visual art #damn that was a neede retrospection... even if a bit sad one #I've also have insentive to think that the reason my art got 'distorted' is my eye condition and..... something with my brain #hoooo boy #like you know those 'before and after' drawing comparison from the same person when their mental illness progressed? #basically I have insentive to think it is something drastic like this especially with how I seem to be intellectually regressing #...about everything but 'mysteries of the universe' and spirituality #I really AM going to turn into a spider huh?! okay when and how kos did something to me? fdsjhhfdsds #but yeah basically? I've been 'this way' since childhood #i always took art assignments over the top #not mentioned in the post because yes sad stuff is for the tags but teachers at school abused this skill lol #they kept forcing me to draw large canvases for holidays and events without any compensation for my wasted time -_- #god I hate teachers in government-funded schools! #still thank you for the ask! #i am not accustomed to so much interest to my weird ass self so sorry if I appear like I am taking it for granted.. #i'll respond in kind! .....eventually ;-;

[chloeseyeliner]

things i randomly remembered part i don't even know anymore:

you know how alex claremont-diaz used to keep lists of his classmates' strenghts and weaknesses when he was a child?

i say, as if alex is a real person lol.

during my last visit at my hometown in the summer, i found my fourth to sixth grade diary and decided to peek into my early youth's thoughts for the fun of it.

turns out that not only did i have a(n) (in)complete list of all my classmates' birthdays in alphabetical and date order, but also an annual list of all my best friends ranked (that's very shady and bad, not gonna lie, but i was just a kid, cut me some slack here), a list of the things i liked about this kid i (thought i) used to have a crush on- turned out to be the most severe platonic feelings ever, he was a good friend, i miss him- an informational list on taylor swift and some other musical artists i used to like back then (like ross lynch), plus the usual, still here, lists of stuff i have to do daily.

casey... i need answers.

thank you.

#jokes aside the list thing has been my jam since i learnt how to make one #you can imagine my immediate surprise when i read rwrb for the first time #i may not resemble alex as an adult starting from the fact i am nowhere near as brilliant as he is #but what i can say from his descriptions of his childhood #it is similar to mine #except for the fact that i did not have a sibling and my parents weren't in the government lol #so casey mcquinston #i need some explanations #thanks #💀 #red white and royal blue #rwrb #alex claremont diaz #also i want a henry not to judge me for making these lists in the firsy place thanks

[astrxealis]

okay rambles but i started creatively writing in like ... 5th grade? and. oh god just a little encouragement to anyone looking to get into writing or insecure or whatnot, but HELLS, maybe it's to he expected with my (obviously) very young age and inexperience with writing then, but my writing was really. yeah. Yeah. but then i'm what... a lot older now, obviously, and my writing has gotten leagues better. i'm probably not a good example for this bcs childhood years development stuff are different etc etc BUT practicing writing more and whatnot really does go a long way :]

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #my writing in 2020 is a lot different than my writing now even! especially so compared to my writing from 2010s #reading a lot of media is also really important :] i always read a lot of books BUT i only started to really read poetry since the pandemic #which were uh basically my early teenage years so idk if i'm a good example for this bcs childhood brain development and stuff (???) #BUT STILL ..... playing games like ffxiv and being really invested in the lore and writing + reading more poems and being fascinated with #more authors and pieces of literature + expanding my general vocabulary knowledge whatnot ... it all really goes a long way! #oh man i'm pretty proud of myself actually. i do love my writing. as imperfect (as all things are) it is. #i had a lot of Pauses with writing throughout my uhh relatively short life thus far since i'm NOT yet an adult and all aha but yeah! #so bless ffxiv again for bringing back my writing spirit... and other medias and whatever <3 #rn i have to thank bg3 for bringing back my Creative Spirit bcs i've been writing a lot more again and having/working on my creative ideas!! #okay i just wanted to ramble a bit lol ^_^ there! #idk my being a writer is very important to me. and my journey as one too. #i want to make a book one day! most feasibly would be to make a collection of short stories :] a bit similar to 'm is for magic' maybe bcs #i grew up with that lol neil gaiman i adore you <3 #i have a very special original world in my head but i am a little selfish and want to keep them all to myself... oops. or who knows! #anyway i have a lot of ideas and i adore writing and literature sooo much <3 #anyway. okay. leaving it here. #cheering on every writer author whatever out there !!! unless you're a sucky person of course yuck bigots but yeah ^^ <3 #huge writing inspo for me is uhhhhhhhh. thinking #ffxiv! does ffxiv count. esp drk quests. and shb as a whole. and then... edgar allan poe? neil gaiman? yeah? #can't remember anyone else good gods but i love vivid and imaginative storytelling and writing descriptively :] a bit of prose but also #quite simple in its eloquence (???) unsure honestly oh gods anyway BYE rambles over apollo signing off beep boop AGHHHHH (screams)

[yume-fanfare]

keito lended it to mao

#isara mao #sakuma ritsu #enstars #ensemble stars #maoritsu #mao's cards are all so pretty??? i get it ritsu wow #art tag #doodles #comic #i too am trying to figure out how many of these i can put out #yes the title is a nod to ritsu's solo #wrote it like that to make it as obvious as possible lol #tbh i was going to make it a bl but i like drawing girls #im tempted to continue this one theyre so funny #idea from a convo w shav thank you shav #honestly i think just 'My Childhood Friend Is A Vampire' already makes for a perfect comedy shoujo manga title

[britneyshakespeare]

hey wait. so if you grow up as an only child or with siblings who like the same tv as you how do you learn tolerance?

#that football poll really made me reflect on how much tv i've had on in the background that was just absolute white noise to me #altho back when we were all younger there were more tvs in the house. mostly small ones #there was one i remember vividly that was like only a foot wide. it sometimes moved around #it had a vcr player in the bottom #i so clearly remember watching lizzie mcguire on it while discovering if you smash a marker youre coloring w #all the ink comes out at once. but then youre left wo it being pointy at the end #and that tv could be moved around. i remember watching shrek on it in my mudroom once lol #i also remember watching whose line is it anyway and not understanding improv but just seeing the men sit in chairs #and stand up and just looking at the colorful background. it was somehow still entertaining to me i dont remember AT ALL why #tales from diana #one thing that is somewhat understandable to me from what i understand about childhood entertainment in the streaming era #is that children THANK GOD still seem to fight w their siblings about what to watch on tv #they just dont even say 'on tv' they say 'on disney plus' #it shouldnt feel so strange to me but i just cant imagine coming home from school and selecting something from a list of programs #and then watching that in full without commercials. i'm like what. that's not tv #you're supposed to get home in the middle of an episode of spongebob that they play twice a week and quote along w it like karaoke #youre supposed to argue and flip back and forth one thing and another when one turns to a commercial break #THATS AMERICA!!!!!