#that just seems unproductive

[icannotgetoverbirds]

):

#just got kicked from a discord server #was posting funnies when someone said 'hey that's not funny that's uncomortable actually' #and i was like 'o shit u right sorry' #(i mean there was a little back and forth before that but it was like less than 5 messages between the two of us) #and deleted the original message #and then im like okay moving on i have more funnies #and start posting them #and then i go back to post more and the server is gone? #i just. )))): #what did i do wrong. was i supposed to like be more upset about it for longer before i went back to the funnies? #that just seems unproductive #but like. they could've at least told me that??? #or whatever it is that i did wrong? #how am i supposed to fix things and do better if nobody tells me how im fucking it up? #idk #ik im vagueposting and that seems immature but like. i dw call anybody out in case this is all a misunderstanding #and also i just. maybe one of y'all knows where i fucked up based on context #maybe one of the people in that server will see this and dm me like 'hey here's what went wrong' #idfk! i have no idea what to do here #im just floundering #waiting on the callout post that im hoping will never come

[bugsbenefit]

all i'll say about Noah's video is that i think it's weird people are calling it a "bad apology", because it's not even an apology video. the only thing he says is that his opinions have been misconstrued and that he doesn't want people to die, which, yeah, he already said before. there's no sorry, from the video alone you wouldn't even know if he's aware of what he did that made people turn on him so fast in the first place

i know the norm nowadays is to call any response to an issue/a situation an "apology" but sometimes it's just a statement, which is what this is. if he was genuinely "apologizing" he'd have to address the actual things he did, like keep misinformation up, even after it's been disproven and worst of all the "zionism is sexy" thing. what he's doing is just cautious backpeddling by saying everyone got him wrong. just a pretty obvious pr nothing-statement sadly

#seen some people say to watch his 'apology' and just... why are you calling it that #he only doubles down on not wanting anyone to die which is something he's already said before #i didn't expect him to actually reflect and do a 180 in a few months so i'm not surprised #if he ever does change his mind i'd expect it to take a few years at least #but well... just seems like a damage control press statement he's making because of ST production starting up again #my opinion on it in case you're curious #but also obligatory holy shit it's tiring to see people immediately jump to wishing death and disgusting things on him and his family #unproductive as hell #posting online about how much you want a celebrity with a shit moral complex to get hit by a car or something is Still not activism #shockingly #so nothing's changed essentially #that 1 minute video really did nothing who would have thought

[crown-ov-horns]

My issue is, I'm seemingly incapable of writing oneshots. I'm so eager to explore various ships, but only come up with epics. Why can't I ever write a short story, or two?.. Some angst. Some smut. Some fluff, with a relationship already estabilished. Hell, I'd probably feel much more productive.

#diary pages #writing journal #fanfiction writing #fanfiction writer #writer problems #writers on tumblr #ao3 writer #like thanks maladaptive daydreaming for turning everything into tolkien level universes -_- #at certain points if becomes really unproductive #while i could be the opposite - i will not fit everything into the stories #so why not take some scenarios and turn them into oneshots/short stories #my ao3 would be... fuller #and not only contain unfinished stories mainly chapter 1 of them #honestly this seems like a great practive with original works too #short stories in general #but also short stories from your universes that allow you to feel them more closely than just working with the plot #you truly entwine with the world not only in your head but also in writing

[babbybones]

my thought process behind going directly to fangamer about that is that i don't think it's sufficient to just try to ask other fans to stop drawing yellow frisk & kris. it doesn't really effectively spread the word and it often just makes people mad and defensive... a lot of fans hold canon in such high regard that i think it can cause them to jump to defend even the most insignificant of details and try to find meaning in them (like people saying that frisk's yellow skin is supposed to represent "any race" or that they're supposed to be like a lego or an emoji or whatever.) there will be people who will uncritically defer to their idea of "canon" no matter what.

if official merch and promotional art suddenly stopped making frisk and kris yellow, i think a lot of fans would be confronted with this issue For The First Time Ever. right now, as far as i can tell, people simply do not think about it, which is the problem

#text post #every time i've seen this issue get brought up and gain traction it seems to always end in really unproductive discussion #and then everyone seemingly just shrugs it off and forgets about it. or frames it as 'white people talking on behalf of asian people' #so i think it's time for me to become really obnoxious about 🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭

[sidebaxolotl]

At anyone who works as a doctor or with elderly patients--should you be correcting alzeimers/dementia patients when they say or recall things incorrectly?

#bc bestie and her family keep doing it and it seems largely unproductive #she just forgets and then keeps doing it #it just seems like theyre stressing themselves out lmao #and i dont do that when i interact with this person

[kath-artic]

i haaaate this

#when people dont know that things are bad and ask you a question that would require you to say 'things have been catastrophically bad' #and it just seems like an unnessecary cry for pity to say all that. but acting like shits normal is equally unproductive if not worse #like ive always been one for the quiet exit. just hard to be like 'oh yeah uh i actually tried to hang myself a week ago #so i didnt really bother to make plans next week'

[marielle-heller]

the utter DESIRE to WRITE SOMETHING vs the mortifying feeling that NOTHING IS RIGHT OR GOOD ENOUGH and the IMPOSSIBLE TO RESIST urge to just waste my entire life fucking around online unfulfilled

#sometimes i equate that to my mental illness #like when it's HARD then of course fucking around watching silly videos is simpler than #actually pushing myself to write #and especially when i question if i even DESERVE to write #but i just HATE myself for my lack of focus and constant time wasting lately #it feels like all i want to do is be SO unproductive and yeah you don't #have to CREATE 24/7 #but i can't focus on a book i can't write #all i seem to want to do is watch unsatisfying little videos cause it's easier #it's so disappointing #maybe working so much more is a factor but that's depressing

[orangerosebush]

I think one of the things that most helped me chill out and not worry about people behaving in ways I both do not understand and can’t control is finally leaving for college. Looking back, it’s no wonder I was so combative in this vaguely “hall monitor way” during high school. It sucks growing up in an environment where if you don’t know exactly how to tailor your behavior and hide parts of who you are, shit gets bad. I was constantly surveilling my own behavior so I didn’t get harassed by my dad (who also had no control over his life in the sense he was too depressed to hold down a job for long). Just a constant diet of meanness and cynicism for the brain. So when I see stuff online that’s a bunch of (unhappy) gay teens being shitty and policing each other over pointless community in-drama, I feel like that particular personal history I have is one of the biggest “it gets so much better for you one day, I promise, and a lot of the b.s. you’re going through right now is coming from other teens who are profoundly messed up in a similar way — though that doesn’t excuse it” I can offer.

[apple-but-sour]

Watching people engage in discourse without even reading the original post in its entirety for some reason is making me feel very glad I've retracted to my little corner of the fandom where I barely tag shit ever and hiss at anyone who wants to debate me publicly.

#on the one hand the fact that ppl these days seem to barely interact directly to hash out lore takes and favor vagueing #leads to completely unproductive discourse coz there isn't even a conversation ppl just yell into a closed room #and sometimes the yells are overheard #on the other hand if I had to deal with another person being stupid in my reblogs and me having to address it #I would explode #like I simply do not have the energy go vague me or complain to ur friends. or send me an ask ig

[bookpdf]

i think it's okay for individuals to not have opinions and well-thought-out solutions for every issue on this planet. has anyone else heard of this

#idk since i got back from my trip a lot of discourse just seems exhausting/repetitive/ultimately unproductive...

[emmys-writing-blog]

okk, I've been at a major blank for the castle infiltration chapters I had been writing. Normally I just write whenever I get the inspiration to, though it's been almost 2 months now and I still have absolutely nothing for that story. I do not think I'll continue that story; if I do, it probably won't be anytime this year. I do have a new hyperfixation and story idea though so that will probably become my whole blog. I'll start posting about that soon!

hopefully

#i had been so excited for that castle infiltration story but ive been so unproductive on it for so long now #everytime i think of it i just think back to how unproductive ive been in general with life and stuff at the moment #its made me really hate thinking about that story which sucks because i really loved the characters #and i had big plans for the story and everything #this stuff just happens though ig #and at least i have a new story now that i can direct my attention to #that way i can feel at least a little bit more productive #really hoping that i don't give up on that story idea too #i didnt even think that i liked writing that much until i stopped #and realised that it was kind of the only thing i was using to validate myself and feel productive so im not just wasting my days #i guess im probably setting myself up for disaster with that #i seem to have this really big fear of not being productive with my time while everyone else around me is #i feel like ill just wake up one day and ill be like 10 years older despite having accomplished absolutely nothing #only being able to 'show off' things that i did when i was a kid #im trying to break that mindset but it may be a while #for now ill just keep writing #sorry for the massive rant in the tags it wan't supposed to be that long lmao #not writing #castle infiltration #ok thats enough tags

[quilleth]

It's a re-read my own fics to cheer myself up kind of day

#quilleth in real life #i should work on something for 7kpp week but i dont know if i really have that in me #i should also work on my zine fic but again im not really sure how much i have in me this week #and trying to tell myself that that's ok but also feeling guilty and unproductive #i mean i technically akmost have the minimum word count i need for this next checkin #but plot wise id like to turn in more to get more feedback #since I just made major structural changes and i know im going to end up over word ount and will need to whittle things down #and im looking forward to some of those scenes! I just cant seem to brain them through currently

[hpdgirlfriend]

Oh crap sorry about that! I meant like sexuality and gender! I don't want to assume anything :)

no worries !!! :) i am bi and vaguely questioning my gender forever /lh

#bpd moment perhaps #but #choosing one from she/he/they is fine!! #i stopped thinking abt my gender because hyper analyzing how i felt abt it seemed unproductive #i am probably cis but i;ll refer to myself as whatevers funniest in the moment :-) #(not like calling myself trans i mean saying im a hashtag girl or just some guy. for probably unneeded clarification) #i love thinking about bisexuality tho bisexuality is awesome. #/gen #🎀inbox

[polaraffect]

sometimes i just want to watch movies without watching movies. y’know?

#damien.txt #please tell me this is relatable <3 #uhhh no but i enjoy watching movies! but also. the concept of watching a movie before i have actually started the process is awful #also there is a lot of content that i know i'm interested but the thought of watching it is. bad. like the lord of the rings movies. #high fantasy is literally my favorite genre and yet my brain is like. dragging its feet and groaning #i've also watched like 8 movies in the past 4 days and most of them were mediocre #i just watched girl interrupted which is not mediocre but also god it made me feel mentally ill #now i want to watch another 90s/80s movie but hmm. what to watch. #tempted to watch my fucked up comfort movie from the 80s 'less than zero' but also fear that i will like it less the 2nd time around #there's also the temptation to just stare up at the ceiling for a while but that seems unproductive at best

[sniffanimal]

I'll have to track down through my pile of essay video viewing this morning but I heard a quote from who I think might have been Judith butler about how it's futile to define what a lesbian is and I've been feeling that since I heard it this morning

#thinking about how straight has only been given definition in terms of othering Gays. #i dont laabel myself any ore because its just seemed so unproductive to do so #im gay and trans what more do you want from me #im not quite butch all the time and if you pull up a kinsey scalle to see if im allowed to say Dyke then ive already ran off with your girl #and he and i have matching lavender faggot tattoos now #badger rants

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#the agony of writing personal statements. or statements of purpose #why is it so hard? bc i dont kno how to balance listing things i can do vs waxing on abt bullshit i like #idk i just feel v pretentious when i write things bc i also kinda talk that way when i can get a sentence out straight. when i can figure #out what im trying to say. so i just sorta talk kinda weird. or i say weird stuff #its not a bad thing really. but idk how much i should let it out on these statements #or what i should focus on #what to say: i studied extremophilic soil communities. learned stats coding. loved cyanos. #but also: i enjoy science communication? sort of. i like talking abt things and hearing other perspectives but u gotta kno what im saying #1st so i gotta teach u. and i want to help ppl understand things in a way that makes sense to them bc everyone learns differently #but also im too tired and depressed to do thst lmao #sigh... its just hard bc my interests seem frivolous. like theres an academic justification but im not actually interested in being useful #thats just a side effect. so i dont wanna talk abt that stuff #ugh. annoying i wanted to finish writing thrm today but then i got invited to go hiking #and going on a 3hr hike sounded like a better idea than sitting in ny apartment having a breakdown #and then i ran around in the rain a while. so not a bad day as it turned out #but a very unproductive weekend :-/ #ok but the annoying part abt the personal statement writing is that i know im agonizing over it more than i should #bc i kno some jackass out there is applying to the same school and just slapped one together and im wasting hours and hours #on 1 to 2 pages. annoying. and i might mot even get in idk #uuuuuuugh. and it looks like i might have to share a room with my boss for thurs thru Sunday night on our sampling trip #itll b fine i just might wilt being around ppl too much #also have like a streight up 11hr car ride with my lab mate. which will b ok hopefully bc we r friends #but like idk i feel like i kinda gotta pull the conversation with him so blah well see what happens #blah. i fluctuate between: im so burnt out im not having fun anymore #and then remembering: oh wait i am passionate abt things. i wish i had the energy. and then slumping over again #idk @ thr Universities im applying to: u should accept me bc i said so. there. end of statement #unrelated #university: what do i wanna b when u grow up? #me: fuck it i guess a professor? i just wanna do cool research. i dont actually want to work for a uni bc fuck that #i also dont wanna talk to ppl. just habe my own office and do cool science stuff rip