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tabibitto · 2 years

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Until I Met You | Xiao x GN reader oneshot

character - xiao

Ship - Gender Neutral Reader x Xiao

Type - Hurt with Comfort, nsfw mentions, memories and mentions of self harm scars, some fluff :)

AN: i was feeling sad today for no reason and decided to share whatever came to mind as i think of my golden boy.

“Bosacious and the others always thought that when the world would be at peace, that they would want to live a mortal life. I think….I was the only one who didn’t think that way..”

Until I met you…

My world, ever since i gained consciousness, it was always cold and bitter. It stunk of dead and rot.

I remember my body shaking like id stepped out the shower, bare and into a cold room.

Truth was, no matter the temperature..the shaking never stopped.

I remember my stomach, how i loathed it and sometimes wished to rip it out with my bare hands and eat it how id devoured so many dreams.

Its emptiness brought down my energy..my head felt fuzzy and i felt a headache so heavy and piercing in my pale forehead it felt unbearably painful to open my eyes.

I remember the cold headaches i recieved during winter. Though i ate dreams, they provided no nourishment. No true nourishment for my body.

Thus, the soft yet bitingly cold snow beneath my shaking form, would fill my blood stained mouth.

The colors mixing into a pale salmon. My brows furrowed as i fought the cold in my body. It had no taste, but since nothing happened, I thought it was fine.

“You can’t eat snow silly! Its on the ground it has bacteria babe you could get sick!”

Oh.

“Hmph, mortals are truly and pathetically tragic if mere consumption of snow could make one sick.”

That day, his frown towards the white hills that adorned Liyue’s usual sunny weather deepened. His thin lips parted and he jerked back upon feeling warm touch connect with the cheeks he didnt know were cold.

He looked down at your figure with those golden yellow eyes, which you had insisted looked like that of a cat, and only under your gaze were they ones of a small kitten starved of touch, Foreign to love.

He had let out a sigh as your hand snuggly cupped his cheeks, his head melting into your hands.

God were they warm.

So warm and comfy.

So loving and gentle when they traced over the scars on my arm. Those id inflicted long ago.

What was strange however, is that whenever i brushed them in the same way…i could not feel tears of want and desire for comfort and love. But a dull and growing ache, an itch for more. It reminded me of the reason they were there, of why any touch sparked the thought again, and i could merely scratch away to not make new scars.

Yet when you grazed your gentle and slender fingers over my marked skin, the gentle thud of my heart suddenly banged against my ears in shame…and when you dipped your head down from behind me, pressing your ever so soft and sweet lips on each disgusting mark—

“Theyre not gross my darling..” Their voice read his mind, hushing thoughts and demanding silence. It received pure devotion and obedience as a response.

Xiao leaned back and let out a soft whimper as his eyes filled with tears that unfortunately blurred his lover’s pretty figure.

His whimpers got louder and his body shook as the kisses on his wrists and hand got higher, over the gentle curve of his shoulder, into the depths of his neck and the plush of his cheek. Before meeting the soft yet cracked entrance of his lips.

Your lips were so soft too, and warm. So addicting, every time they slid from mine i needed more. I needed it harder, faster. Wetter. I needed all of you. We ended our nights sweaty and sleepy as a result on multiple occasions

But we never fucked…not usually. Though it was arguably more pleasurable to the body. Nothing was more blissful to me then the gentle jerks of my hips meeting yours, the way my hands slid across the thin layer of sweat that coated your body, gently pressing a thumb into your mouth before kissing you sweetly.

Your sweet and hesitant sounds of pleasure, sounds i caused you to make.

You were my drug, and i had no intention on getting sober.

No, i needed more. Nothing was ever enough. A kiss should be made two. Hugs turned into snuggles.

Your pretty moans became strings of whimpers and gasps. A beautiful song only for my ear to hear.

There were many ballads of yours i enjoyed too. Many which i did not know i needed.

Until I met you..

When you sung gentle whispers into my ear, your fingers slipping under my mask and revealing my twisted grin and dull eyes. Bringing to it a lively tenderness and life.

“Your enough.”

“Your all mine.”

“Im yours.”

“Ill always be yours.”

“My pretty baby~”

How enchanting…how…how do i deserve to hear such gentle whispers from a kind soul. For a ragged body, full of hatred and blood that oozed down my hands of both the innocent and the traitors

For such dirtied hands to touch you, feel you, pleasure you and hold your own. It felt sinful

But when I stare into your eyes. A Bloom of Kaleidos. Warm and Carrying a world inside. A world where only me and you exist. A perfect world. Much different from the terrors and unjust one we sit in now.

Never in my 2,000 years of life have I ever desired to give or receive love, physical intimacy, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving…

Until I met you

I was born with what my master called a gift. But what everyone around me, including myself thought of as a curse.

I could eat dreams, nightmares. I was..different. My difference not only made me an outcast, but it made me a bloodhound for a person who sought to use my body for their advantage, using the things i needed emotionally to manipulate me. Until i needed nothing no more

Strings that held my limbs, that controlled my every thought and move, every word and bite of food. It all needed my masters precise approval. Until i required nothing else

I was a puppet

I was nothing. I came from nothing.

Arguably, i am still, indeed nothing.

My only purpse has been to slaughter, protect through slaughter, defend through slaughter.

Perhaps this reason, which has been imbedded into the minds of every yaksha, is why Brother Bosacious died doing that very thing.

He was kind, playful, strong.

And out of everything he ever desired, a mortal life. A family…in the end,through his insanity….the only thing his lost mind could guide him to was slaughter

I contemplate at times, if being with you truly is okay. If this is truly right as much as it feels like it is. If perhaps one day, through all we have been through. Even my mind will trade the fond and comforting memory of you for something so…pathetic.

If one day you will mean nothing to me, if one day you become an obstacle, one day you become another number in the vast of my dead

For this, is when i fail you. When your soft voice in the wind that calls out my name, my gifted name.

At first with curiosity…concern..before the shake and sadness in your tone is all too clear. Like it was whispered to me.

It hurts…it hurts me to hurt you…but.

As a yaksha. The last living yaksha. I am bound to an end of misery. To insanity. This, even Rex Lapis who saved me from my suffering cannot undo my fate.

Until i met you did my death and life mean little to me. The days were simple. The nights were quiet and empty. The sting of a cut a mere bite of a fly. The thought of my end in madness, the agony of my karmic debt. Things i looked at fearless

Now…i long for a millennia to come. I long for when my quiet nights are filled with your voice, the sweet sounds of your pretty whimpers in pleasure. The calm breathing of your sleeping body as i hold it dear to my chest. Every fight is fought more carefully, as I do not wish to see your brows furrowed in worry. Every agonizing moment of my karma, how i loathe for its end much more. I cannot stand your crying

I wish to eradicate the earth of whats made you so sad. The sound of which annoyed when i was alone me now angers me when in with you, fills me with despair. With want for nothing but to replace your frowns into smiles, in whichever way i can.

The fate i knew more then anything, clearer then a crystalfly, inevitable as the rise of a new day…i fear nothing more.

Until I met you, have i now succumbed to mortal fear and emotion for misery and death.

Because now I will bear the responsibility that is you. One i have honored since the day i made you my first promise

Call out my name, Adeptus Xiao. I will be here when you call

No matter what. I will fight my own fate with my two hands. No matter who I have to hurt, how i have to battle, i will always return to you as unharmed as can be. No matter how..in pain i am. I will always be strong for you. Because of you, do i have someone to live for, fight for. Because of you do I fear the debt i cannot escape. Because of you do I crave to feel love. A selfish request. Something undeserving of your gentle hands and soft lips.

Because of our promise, our contract. Will I forever remain yours, no matter how much of my mind is lost to my unchanging fate of madness, the only thing i will know is you. Even if one day i do not remember your name, your touch. I will never be able to forget the person who saved me…not from a master, or a battle, or the smell of approaching death. But the human who saved me from myself.

Even as Adeptus Xiao stares into the dark blue sky, lit from within the faraway lights of Liyue Harbor. Was his night no longer empty. But loud with thoughts of his lover. His past, his future, his present. How this date, upon all the days of the year was the happiest hes been. Happiness…hah…a word that truly does not belong to the Guardian Yaksha.

And yet, he so selfishly took it for himself when he realized how much he loved the person sitting next to them. How the xiao lantern in their hands illuminated the thoughtful face in the dark that wished for better days, for a good meal tomorrow, for wealth. All the common wants of mortals he heard a dozen times over the many Lantern Rites hes lived through.

Every prayer for good health, every desire for the dream guy or girl. Every wish for something so mundane as Mora. He heard it all. It was all background noise at this point since the foundation of the city he was bound to.

Yet, among all the hushed and thrilled voices. The loudest was their calm and shy whisper, as gentle as the breeze. No other wish was more important then this:

‘I wish for many more lantern rites with Alatus, I pray for his health, I pray for his happiness, I wish i could love him as much as hes loved me all these years’

Alatus could see the gentle pink decorating his lovers cheek as they whispered, knowing he could hear their wish before the lantern was released among all the others. Though they never talked about how he could. Instead, they pretended it was a secret for the sake of the festival

He could feel warm liquid pool in his eyes as he stared at them, feeling his tight jaw unclench, his cheeks and face melt into the warm light of the fire in the lantern. How he couldnt stop the movement of the corners of his lips as he gazed.

‘How could I ever deserve you…’

“Done! Your turn my sweetn—”

They stopped, frozen as they stared at the short male across from their spot on the grass.

He was smiling…Xiao never smiled.

The little human’s lips began to tremble in joy as they stared at his happy face, and all before they could break into a sob, did the man lean in to leave a gentle kiss, calming the quiver of their mouth.

“I wish that…no matter happens to me. That i never forget you..until i met you nothing mattered. Now, you are what I fight for, my dear. I daresay…i would break any oath…all for you..”

#genshin fic #genshin impact fanfic #adeptus xiao #xiao #xiao fluff #xiao smut #xiao x you #xiao x reader #hurt/comfort #self h@rm #cuddles #xiao comfort #oneshot #genshin impact fluff #genshin imagines #genshin drabbles #genshin impact scenarios #alatus

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gayspock · 2 years

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also i think whats most offputting about chiana/d'argo is like otherwise ive felt like the show HAS done really well with like... specifically romantic/sexual relationships, yeah?

like in particular. we've had suggestions in s1, and one or two exchanges with zhaan and d'argo where its like... SUGGESTIONS. and thats it. where theyre like "oh we could, i guess?" but they dont. and i like that, honestly. like- that... more casual interaction?

i think the worst depictions of romance are those that are ALL so all-or-nothing, in such a contrived way... wherein instead its like. i think its very natural and normal to have more incidental things occur like that where its like idk. a bit of a spark but we don't feel THAT compelled and wont pursue it (shrug) or like.... missed connections, where ppl are like. pretty normal abt the fact it doesnt work out like or like its . fuckin. casual and not like some insane force pulling people together and i think that has a lot more subtlty to it than just. going at it with a sledgehammer with everything, irrespective of the individual characters

same way like i feel like aeryn and crichton hasnt been some overblown romance bc they HAVE had their little connections with others where theyve wavered and their issues with one another and they grow apart from each other and then grow closer to each other in this ebb and flow as the series goes on and it didnt just start, from its inception or near to, as this strange, absoluteness but we're instead building something up ...

but chiana and d'argo its like. i feel like they have literally just immediately leapt to "he's in love with her!" which feels so bewildering. and again feels very much like that contrived "all!" (and not nothing) which is . strange. bc like i can read through the lines and i can connect some dots- and i can see HOW he might be very invested in her, but... frankly i need more convincing, do you know what i mean? bc like it DOES ring true for him. he's... pretty romantic. i can see him going hard for relationships - but its just....

i still think they should have properly explored that if they wanted to do it more and laid more groundwork for their own dynamic. i dont remember, but i feel like... they never really had an episode, dedicated to pairing them off within the script? i dont mean romantically; i mean, like just a general story wherein they both explore their dynamic together, before they set them up. like - what i mean is like... take three crichtons for example. crichton is "paired off" with d'argo for that episode and thus we get to see a lot of their dynamic together even if it isnt the focus and it tells us more about them. like- we did we ever even get that with d'argo and chiana? just them exclusively? i dont remember- but i feel like thats bare minimum, first... to just establish a working dynamic for them, even if they do THEN go fast with it

and its also like i DO see a good story between them. i think chiana is interesting, and like... her relationship specifically with her sexuality is something to explore. and i think for sureee they wouldnt be on the same page- and that'll be interesting to look into, too- and so in some respects it not that im even against them going too fast bc THAT can make a lot of sense for both of them as they both have the wrong expectations that they'll then have to address later BUT its still like.. its STILL like even then i just think you needed to do more to start it off, yeah?

#Egg.txt #farscape liveblog

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wincestismyguiltypleasure · 5 years

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heres another thought: priest!dean and boyking!sam. theyre still brothers, but john dies early on and they get taken in by pastor jim, both of them being raised to be priests as well as hunters. sam still goes off to college, but instead of getting dragged back into the life by dean, azazel gets to him first and he becomes the king of hell. the world is now experiencing an apocalypse, led by sam winchester himself, dean being one of the few priests experienced enough to survive. (1/?) -🐢

sam of course catches wind of the fact that dean is still thriving, killing his demons left and right like its nothing. he decides to pay his big brother a visit himself, who has had no idea what happened to sam through all of this. they meet in a big, beautiful church, beginning to become run down over the months that the apocalypse has been going on. theres beams of sunlight streaming through stained glass, bits of glass broken out and scattered across the floor. (2/?) -🐢

"long time no see big brother" sam nearly purrs, silhouetted by the setting sun, massive double doors opening for him. curling horns and bright blue glowing eyes being the only physical changes since dean had seen his little brother last. "shit sammy, things have changed" deans words are barely loud enough to be heard, all of his focus on not trying to run into sams arms, feeling the power radiating off of him, keeping his guard up, hand ready to reach for his demon killing knife (3/?) -🐢

theres a pause, sam begins to walk closer, dean stepping back, finding a wall in his way. "im not here to hurt you dean, i simply want to talk. i have a proposition" sam smooth voice automatically lowering deans heart rate, cursing himself for his bodys trained response to sams presence. dean knows better, but he must hear what the younger man has to say, the fact that his brother his now a demon slowly beginning to slip his mind (4/?) -🐢

dean nods, allowing sam to continue. a smirk slowly tugging at his lips, sam steps closer, now within normal attacking range. "i want you to join me" he states, and dean immediately looks at him quizzically, not quite believing what was happening. "in hell, i mean. i want you to become my right hand man, help me run hell." dean was torn, everything hed ever been taught screaming at him to say no. tell his brother to go to hell and charge him with his knife. but he couldnt, not to sammy(5/?) -🐢

dean relaxes some more, stepping closer to his brother. "why should i say yes? we're polar opposites, ive been fighting everything youve been trying to do" he raises his brow, daring sam to convince him to come with him. daring sam to tell him why he should go against everything hes ever fought for. dean doesnt really need convincing, but he wants to draw this out. theres a long pause, then suddenly sam is in deans space and the brothers are breathing the same air. "youll be with me" (6/?) -🐢

dean connects their lips, long lost spark reigniting as they move against one another. they stay like this for some time, holding each other in their arms. when dean opens his eyes and pulls away, everything around him is dimly glowing a deep red and he can hear the snarls of hellhounds from the other side of the room. "welcome home dean." (7/8) (pt 8 is me talking) -🐢

sorry i just kind of went off, i really hope you enjoy this and sorry if the writing is really messy, i typed this directly in your ask box haha. let me know what you think, and if theres things you think i could improve on. both characters are kind of ooc but its fine ig lol. (8/8) -🐢

My lovely turtle anon!! 🐢💕 Please don't apologize, I L O V E this!! Go off anytime you'd like. 😍 Oh my God, that part where Dean was instantly soothed by the sound of Sam's voice. 🔥 Also, "You'll be with me." CARVE THAT ON MY TOMBSTONE BECAUSE I AM DECEASED. *Chef's kiss* Perfection, my darling. I am HERE for Sammy convincing Dean to be his right hand man in Hell. I can just imagine all the depraved and twisted things he plans to sweet talk his big brother into doing with that priest's outfit still on. 🔥

#priest!Dean #boyking!Sam #Wincest #I am HERE for Dean giving into his darkness #because he aches to lick the cotton candy sweet taste of sin off his baby brother's pretty lips #💕💕💕💕#my lovely turtle anon 🐢 your ideas are FANTASTIC #thank you so much for sending this in!!#💋🔥#lovelies on tumblr 💙

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lilulo-12fanfiction · 5 years

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Nothing Breaks Like A Heart: Chapter 2 part 1

So I had to split this into 2 chapters because it’s really long. I’m not big on regurgitating content but it was a good way to set the story up further. Going forward there will be more original content with some cannon thrown in. P.S. IDGAF about Cannon if it doesn’t work well for my story.

I’d love it if you reblogged, gave feedback, etc.

Let me know if you want to be tagged

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@shreddedparchment @fanfictionjunkie1112

Nora smiled to herself as she approached Bruce Banner, Natasha and Steve. She was ecstatic to meet Bruce Banner. She hadn’t seen Natasha in a while and well Steve was another story altogether.

“Is that the only word on me?” Bruce questioned Steve looking incredibly apprehensive.

“Only word I care about.” Such a Steve Rogers thing to say. She watches as Banner seemed to relax, if only slightly.

“Well he won’t be doing it alone.” Nora beamed at the 3 of them. “Besides myself I’m quite positive that my Uncle will show his face after getting through Coulson’s information bomb he gave us last night. No way is he missing out on this.”

“Nora Stark.” The red headed assassin smiled back at Nora.

“Good to see you Rusty. It’s been too long.”

“Well Tony isn’t my biggest fan. So I’ve steered clear.” Natasha shrugged.

“Well stop it. No one cares what he thinks.” Natasha shook her head at Nora. The attitude was 110% Tony Stark.

“Hello Nora.” Steve finally spoke after observing her.

“Hello Captain. Good to see you again.” She watched as the heat rose to his face and turned to Bruce Banner before she reacted and stuck her hand out.

“Well apparently my friends here forgot their manners. Dr. Banner, I’m Nora Stark. I’m a huge fan of your work. I’m really looking forward to working with you.” Bruce tentatively shook her hand.

“You’re not scared to be around me?” Bruce looked at her small stature and assumed she’d be terrified. She shrugged.

“Why would I be?” She smiled. Her kind eyes put him at ease. She linked her arms through Bruce’s. “C’mon Dr. Banner. Let’s go do what we nerds do so the super heroes can get to work” Nora gave Steve a wink only he could see and led them towards the Helicarrier.

“Okay Bruce, apparently Loki is in Germany. I highly doubt the Tesseract is with him.” Nora sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I agree.” Bruce didn’t look up from the computer screen.

“I’m going to head out to Fury. I need to see this. Let me know when you need me.” Bruce nodded again and Nora headed out of the lab and down to the main section of the Helicarrier.

As she made her way out to the main deck, she could hear AC/DC over the comms and then her Uncle’s voice. “Agent Romanoff, you miss me?”

“I see I made it just in time for the show.” She crossed over to where Fury was standing and he Gave her a smirk.

“Make a move Reindeer Games” Nora watched as Natasha landed the Quinjet to capture Loki.

“He doesn’t have the tesseract with him. And we haven’t located it yet. But the staff he carries, the one that turned one of your best parents into a puppet. I’m thinking that might help us.”

“I agree, Nora. Go let Dr. Banner know what’s going on and both of you join us back here once they’re back on this ship.” Nora nodded at the order and headed to retrieve Dr. Banner. She turned her comm on so she could listen in to their ride with Loki and was privy to the fight between the three men.

A little while after Loki was on the ship, Nora made her way back down to the main deck to discuss Loki. Dr. Banner would be joining them shortly. As she approached she heard her Uncle refer to someone as “Point Break”. She rolled her eyes and made herself known.

“Oh good. You’re all done playing swords. Did you find out who’s the biggest or did you just waste our time?”

“See that’s what makes you my favorite Stark. You’re infinitely more funny than Tony.” Natasha and Nora smiled at each other.

“What? No! Absolutely not! You’re not helping on this mission!” Tony wasn’t exactly surprised to see Nora but he wasn’t going to allow her to jump into the line of danger.

“You say that like you still have a say in the choices I make” Nora scoffed at her Uncle. “You need me. If you didn’t Pepper wouldn’t have asked me to come and Fury wouldn’t have agreed to it.”

“Nora I know you’re brilliant but we can do this without you.” Tony shot back. Steve watched on with interest.

“No you can’t. You need my memory and my professional abilities.” Nora was just as stubborn as her Uncle. This wasn’t going to end quickly.

“Your memory? What does that mean.” Nora looked over to the heavy accented voice that was sitting at the table.

“You must be Thor" He nodded. I have a photographic memory. I remember every detail of everything.”

“That sounds very useful and overwhelming.” His understanding and empathy took Nora by surprise. It was overwhelming and incredibly useful. There were some things she wished she could forget, yet instead they plagued her dreams. “And what are these professional abilities?” Thor was intrigued by this tiny human.

“I have some pretty stellar computer skills.” Before Thor could question Nora further Tony was interrupting.

“Uh hello??? I have some pretty decent computer skills myself.” Nora rolled her eyes at the exact same time Tony did and the resemblance between her and Tony couldn’t be ignored. It made Thor smile.

“Obviously you know your way around a computer. But you know full well that you can’t hack like I can.”

“She’s right Tony.” Fury finally spoke. “She hacked the Pentagon on a dare in High School.”

“You what?!” Steve was shocked and Nora stood there with a proud smile on her face. He wouldn’t have thought she would do something like that.

“Sorry Captain. Sometimes you just have to bend the rules. Especially when your sexist classmate thinks he’s superior because he has a teeny tiny appendage between his legs” Thor audibly laughed.

“Yeah that was pretty impressive. I’m still pretty proud you did that.” Tony finally conceded. “Fine. I’m not going to argue with you anymore but if you’re going to be on this mission you need something a little more protective than whatever this is that you’re wearing.” He pointed up and down her body. She was clad in a leather pencil skirt, a denim button down shirt and sky high leopard print heels. Her normally long curly hair was straightened and in a high ponytail with braids on the top of her head.

“Well I asked you to make me a suit.” Nora shot back. Thor watched on enjoying the verbal ping pong match. He liked the fire in Nora Stark.

“So you can put yourself in more danger? Yeah, not likely.” Nick Fury stood up to put an end to the bickering.

“Nora- I had some special Kevlar made for you. There’s a locker with your name on it. You can change when you're ready.”

“Thanks Uncle Nick.” Nora gave Tony a dirty look and went and sat down next to Thor. She was drawn to him for some reason. She couldn't explain it. "So tell me about Asgard and this brother of yours" Steve watched as Thor and Nora seemed to be in a bubble. He had her undivided attention. She laughed at the things he said that weren’t meant to be funny but were because of Thor’s lack of Earth knowledge. She would place her hand on his arm as they spoke. Neither of them seemed to pay much attention to the people around them. He had to force himself to pay attention to what Fury was saying. He was surprised at how jealous he felt. He barely knew her. And he didn’t ever expect to find anyone that stirred feelings in him. Not the way Peggy did. It wasn’t the same, Peggy was Peggy. But Nora somehow set off a spark inside him. The first real connection he made before coming out of the ice.

Nora sighed and sat down on the bench in the locker room. She wanted her own “Iron Man” suit. Tony refused. Nora had contemplated just hacking into his system for the plans, but she couldn’t break her Uncle’s trust like that. She didn’t want him doing this alone. Maybe now that Steve was out of the ice he wouldn’t have to. She was always afraid that when he left in that Iron Man suit he wouldn’t come back. She knew Pepper had the same fears. Nora and Tony both had lost so much. They had been betrayed by people they had loved too. He wasn’t her father. No one could ever take Grant Starks place in her heart, but the relationship she and Tony had was something beyond parent and child. They were connected by loss and pain. They were connected by their similarities. They had the same snark, the same attitude and the Stark swagger. The swagger that sometimes acted as a protective bubble. Tony was Nora’s protector. Even when he was missing he was still protecting her. He had always had a plan in place with Rhodey and Pepper to keep her safe and loved if something happened and he couldn’t. All Nora wanted to do was protect him as well.

She stood and opened up the locker with her name and smiled at what Nick had left her. It was an all black Kevlar suit that looked like leather. It had straps across her hips and boots that went over her knees. There were a number of holsters to hold weapons or technological items. She wasn’t sure where Nick had found it, but it was perfect. It held her body like a glove. She was curvy but strong. She has never been skinny. Her body wasn’t built to be that small. She had accepted her flaws a long time ago and learned how to use them to her advantage.

She headed out of the locker room with plans to head back to the lab. Her eyes caught the door that she knew Loki was behind and she just couldn’t help herself. Her credentials allowed her to enter the room. There he stood. The God of Mischief in a round glass cage.

“Hello Loki.” He snapped his head up and studied her.

“The Dróttning av Gimsteinn” Loki’s voice was almost breathless. He hadn’t been expecting to see her and the words had poured from his mouth before he could stop them.

“What did you just say?” Nora stopped in her tracks and stared him down. Loki’s eyes bore into Nora’s and he didn’t respond. “What does that mean?”

“You’ll find out soon enough I suppose” Loki acted as uninterested in her as he possibly could. I’m reality he was buzzing on the inside. He thought it would be more difficult to get eyes on her. Nora narrowed her eyes at him. She took a step towards him and stopped.

“I’m not going to let you goad me into a reaction. When you get bored of this and want to tell me where the tesseract is, let me know. If I find it before you tell me, I can’t help you.” Before Loki could respond, she was gone. Loki smiled to himself. She was feisty. She liked to spar. This was going to be more fun than he originally thought.

Nora was wracking her brain trying to figure out what Loki called her as she was heading back. She didn’t even know what language it was. She was about to pull her phone out and try to search for what she thought he had said when she stumbled upon Steve trying to pry a set of doors open. Captain America breaking and entering? This was surprising. She crossed her arms in front of her body and leaned against the wall.

“Need some help Captain?” She smiled with a suggestive voice as Steve jumped. He turned and faced Nora sheepishly with red cheeks. He had on hand on the back of his neck and looked impossibly adorable.

“I was…I uh…” He was embarrassed for getting caught but what really had him stuttering was Nora. No one should look that good in Kevlar. He silently chastised himself for behaving like a 13 year old. Nora shook her head and without a word pushed herself off of the wall and approached the door Steve was trying to bust open. She pressed her palm to the lock pad. It read her palm print and prompted for the 2nd security key. “Stark, Nora Margaret”. Steve froze. Was Peggy apart of her life? It couldn’t be a coincidence that she was related to Howard Stark and her middle name was Peggy. Howard and Peggy has founded Sheild together. He wondered if Peggy had any sort of relationship with Nora’s father. He wanted to ask her about it, but it wasn’t the right time. Nora motioned him inside.

“After you.” Nora followed him into the room and the door shut behind him. “Mind telling me what we’re doing in here? What are you looking for?”

“I’m honestly not sure. Your Uncle is trying to get all of Sheild’s files as we speak. He seems to think Fury is hiding something.”

“Oh what a jack ass. He’s trying to hack in on his own instead of asking me. He’s trying to prove he doesn’t need me. I could have had those files in 5 minutes, 10 tops. Plus I have access to a lot of shit around here. Sheild is my family birth right. My father would have taken Howard’s place.”

“Wait- so you agree with Tony? You think he’s hiding something?”

“Don’t be so naive Captain. Of course he’s hiding something. He’s a super spy. His secrets have secrets!” Steve laughed. “What’s funny?”

“Your Uncle literally said the same thing. Word for word.” Nora’s eyes shone with pride. “Are you going to help me look?”

She threw her arms up in a shrug. “Kind of hard to help when I have zero clue what to look for. And how do you know I’m not in on it?”

“Call it a gut instinct.” Nora liked to banter and Steve was feeling brave. He was still feeling a little green after seeing her with Thor. Now was his chance to see if she was as just flirty or interested in him. He was a God. A good looking one at that. And while he felt like an idiot worrying about it when they had more important things to focus on, he had to know. “So you’re done flirting with Thor? You two seemed to hit it off right away.” He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“I wasn’t flirting! Why? Are you jealous?” Nora sauntered over to where Steve was leaning over a crate. She put her hand on his shoulder and leaned over so she could whisper in his ear. “Believe me Captain, if I’m flirting, you’ll know it.”

Nora’s breath was hot on his neck and it sent a chill down his spine. He was about to respond but his attention was pulled to the container in front of him. Steve opened a container. “I think I found what we’re looking for.” Steve watched as Nora pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Dammit.” The disappointment was radiating from her voice. “Sometimes, it’s really hard to separate the spy, the head of Shield, from the man that helped me become who I am today. The person my father revered. I just can’t.”

“I’m sorry Nora.” Steve put his hand on her shoulder.

“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do this Steve.”

“No, but I know that feeling. And I’m sorry that you’re feeling it now.” Nora gave Steve a small smile.

“Thank you. God this is all so messed up. Let’s go to the lab. I’d like to talk to Nick and I need to ask Thor some questions about his brother.” Steve picked up the container and the two of them headed back to her Uncle and Dr. Banner.

Nora could heat heated voices as she and Steve approached the lab. So heated that they didn’t even notice the two of them enter in the middle of Bruce’s sentence.

“…When we get a hit, we’ll have the location within half a mile.” Nora could tell he was trying to control his temper. Tony picked up where Bruce left off. The two of them were a team already.

“And you’ll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss. What is Phase Two?” Tony wanted answers. Nora knew that look in his eye.

Nora jumped as Steve slammed the case down on the counter. “ Phase Two is SHIELD used the Cube to make weapons.” Steve answered for Fury and then directed himself towards Tony. “Sorry, computer was moving a little slow for me.”

Nora gave Tony a dirty look. “I literally could have gotten it within 10 minutes tops. Stop trying to prove that you don’t need me.”

“Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we’re-“ Before Fury could finish Tony flipped the screen to reveal a plan for a missile. Nora pit her face in her hands. This was only going to get worse.

“I’m sorry, Nick. What were you lying?” Nora clenched her jaw. She didn’t know what to say to calm the waters because she was just as angry as the rest of them. She pulled herself from her thoughts as Natasha and Thor came into the lab.

“You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?” Bruce laughed in Natasha’s face.

“I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed.” Nora ignored their verbal ping pong as she went over to the monitor to check on the Tesseract. She paused and eyed Loki’s staff curiously. When she focused back on the group Fury was explaining why Sheild wanted to create these weapons.

“Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly- hilariously, out-gunned.” Nora was going to tell Nick he was right but that he should have been upfront but Thor interjected before she had the chance.

“My people want nothing but peace with your planet.”

“But you’re not the only people out there, are you? And, you’re not the only threat. The world’s filling up with people who can’t be matched, they can’t be controlled.” Fury shot back quickly. Nora couldn’t focus on what they were saying anymore. Her attention was drawn back to Loki’s staff like it was pulling her in. Bits and pieces of the argument would break through. She couldn’t focus on who was saying what as her head started to pound and the sceptor started to glow..

“Nuclear deterrent! ’Cause that always calms everything right down.”

“ I’m sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep-“

“How is this now about me?”

“I’m sorry, isn’t everything?”

“I thought humans were more evolved than this.”

“I swear to God, Stark, one more crack...”

Nora felt more dizzy and tried to focus on Steve’s voice, though she wished she hadn’t. “Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?” Why was Steve attacking her Uncle? He didn’t know what he was talking about. Nora felt too woozy to feel any anger at that point.

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I’ve seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.” He was wrong. He didn’t know what Tony Stark was about. He put on a front but he was a hero. He took the world on his shoulders. Nora remembered Tony destroying all of the weapons sold to our enemies. She wanted to scream at Rogers but her head hurt too badly to speak. Tony’s voice cut through the pain.

“A hero, like you? You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.”

“Put on the suit, let’s go a few rounds.”

“Steve, Tony- Stop” Nora begged. Her voice wasn’t loud enough for them to hear her. She was sure it was Loki’s scepter causing them to act like this. It was what messed with Barton’s head. Loki had wanted it to be here, to cause this dissension. Finally Bruce’s yelling caused everything to stop.

“IN CASE YOU NEEDED TO KILL ME. BUT YOU CAN’T, I KNOW, I TRIED!” He stopped and saw that everyone is staring at him and he continued. “I got low. I didn’t see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on, I focused on helping other people. I was good until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk. You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?”

“Oh Bruce...” Nora could feel his pain and anger, how broken he felt. He was holding the scepter while Fury and Natasha hand their hands on their guns. Nora was white as a sheet.

“Please Bruce. That thing is making you all act like this. Please put it down. No one is going to cage you, I promise..”

“Nora?” Tony’s voice was full of worry. She looked sick. She had barely said a word during the argument. She normally would tell Tony if he was being an ass or defend him if he was right. Steve took a deep breath, sighed and looked at Bruce.

“Doctor Banner, put down the scepter.” Banner looked down, surprised to see the spear in his hand. Suddenly the monitor made a noise, signaling the Tesseract has been located. Bruce put the scepter back on the table and walked over to the screen on the other side of the room. Nora walked over to the table and lightly touched the scepter, knowing it was the source of her pain. She just didn’t know why. She yanked her hand back and turned towards her Uncle.

Suddenly Tony turned to leave but Steve put his arm out to stop him. “You’re not going alone Stark!” Tony smacked Steve’s hand away.

“You gonna stop me?” Nora groaned. Taking steps towards the two men.

“Put on the suit, let’s find out!

“ I’m not afraid to hit an old man.”

“Will the two of you stop acting like children?!” Nora was pleading with them. Then she heard Banner yelling and then an explosion. Nora flew into Steve, he grabbed her by the waist as he and Tony fell near the entry way. Steve turned her so she would fall on him instead of the floor protecting her head and neck. The next thing she knew Steve was pulling her along with Tony.

#Avengers #Avengers FanFiction #Steve Rogers #Steve Rogers FanFiction #Captain America #Captain America FanFiction #Steve Rogers x OC #captain america x oc #Stark OC #Tony Stark #Tony Stark FanFiction #Marvel #Marvel FanFiction #MCU #MCU FanFiction #Steve Rogers Imagine #captain america imagine #Steve Rogers x Stark OC

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bellarkefanfiction · 6 years

Text

We Play Our Parts So Well

written by: Josefine / @selflessbellamy

prompt: bellamy and clarke are actors on a tv show. theyre love interests but are also dating irl and they have to shoot their first sex scene together. they get it on either during (unknowingly to others) or after the shoot for anonymous

word count: 2847

There are countless things wrong with having your co-stars head between your thighs. Especially if it’s done off-camera, in the casual setting of his apartment, with the spicy taste of Italian red wine lingering like a promise at the tip of her tongue. Bellamy, of course, ate her out vigorously until she grasped at the sheets like a lifeline, and now his character, Julian Amerada, has to do the same to hers. And Clarke has to pretend, for the sake of self-preservation, that she doesn’t know what it feels like.

In the hit NBC TV-series Embers, Clarke plays the role of Cassandra Tallion, a princess whose life is forever altered when she discovers what it’s like to be a warrior. And since the premiere of the show — the first scene she shared with Bellamy, more precisely — fans on Twitter (and virtually every other social media platform in existence) — have been screaming in all caps for them to just ‘SUCK FACES ALREADY ASDFGBSKCKXS’

Now, they’re finally going to get what they want. It’s been five seasons and the showrunner, Thelonius Jaha, has decided that it’s finally time to make Jassandra a thing — a canon thing.

Jasper Jordan, one of the special effect technicians, puts sugar in his coffee (enough to kill a small animal), quirks up an eyebrow and looks from Bellamy to Clarke before stating the obvious, “The internet is gonna fucking explode when you guys finally get it on.”

For a moment, Clarke’s eyes flicker nervously to Bellamy’s. Oh god, she’s supposed to be an actress, but she can’t even keep her cool in this situation. Meanwhile, her very handsome and very forbidden boyfriend takes a sip of his Earl Grey tea (Miller loves to call him a ‘sophisticated bastard’ for that preference), looking at Jasper nonchalantly.

“Did I hear someone say ‘getting it on’?” Raven chimes in, walking towards their table to throw her arms around Clarke’s shoulders. “That’s my domain.”

At that, Clarke only chuckles. So does Bellamy. “Raven, the last time I checked, you were happily married to an ex-pilot by the name of Shaw.”

Flippantly, Reyes takes her best friend’s coffee mug to steal a sip, then winces at the taste when she realizes that it isn’t black. “Yeah, and we get it on all the time. But of course, you wouldn’t know about that now, would you, Griffin?” It’s a fair burn, but little does Raven know that it no longer rings true. Since Clarke started seeing Bellamy off set four months ago, she’s had more orgasms than she had during all of last year.

“Have you read the script?” Harper McIntyre joins them. She plays Amelia, Cassandra’s stepsister, who is trying to overthrow her own father’s regime. “It’s cunnilingus, right?”

Jordan chuckles, “Oh please, Harper. You read all of it just like the rest of us,” and when Clarke looks at him, her brow furrowed in confusion, he continues, “Every single one of us is on team Jassandra. It’s no secret.”

As Clarke looks around the table, everyone — including Miller — nods, and Murphy even confesses to buying merch from Ebay, which leaves the rest of them shook. Still, his only explanation is, “What can I say? Some of this fanart is pretty fucking cool.”

Well, you can’t argue with that. Every time Clarke logs on to Twitter, her mentions are full of beautiful art pieces and gifs that people have made of the show (someone even wrote a song for Jassandra once). It warms her heart and makes her smile each day knowing that there are so many talented, passionate fans out there.

Episode 5x07 of Embers is called ‘The Land We March For’, and they’re shooting some of it tomorrow morning, including the already notorious love scene in Cassandra’s bedchamber in Marble Castle. Feeling a bit nervous about the whole ordeal, Clarke decides to abandon the table and take a look at the set, which has been prepared for the shoot tomorrow.

There are candles everywhere, ready to be lit and the bed has been covered in furs. It looks beautiful, but Clarke still has to swallow the lump in her throat.

“You alright?”

Smiling, Bellamy puts a hand to her shoulder. He must’ve followed her here, and she instantly appreciates it. For some reason, she always feels more at ease when she’s around him, and even though having to do her first love scene on screen is still incredibly daunting, she’s so glad that he will be there with her.

“Yeah… Just a bit nervous,” she confesses after a minute.

In comfort, he places his hand on her shoulder, caressing it with his thumb. “Trust me, I get that.”

Unlike her, Bellamy has done a love scene on Embers before, although it was a short flashback one between Julian and his deceased lover, Karolina. “Whatever,” she says, exhaling. “We’ll just have to kill this scene, you know? The viewers deserve something great. Our characters deserve it. We just need to do it justice.”

In fact, it was partly with the viewers and their characters in mind that Bellamy and Clarke asked for some of the script for the scene to be altered. Originally, Cassandra was supposed to beg Julian to ‘ravish her’, but that seemed non-consensual and out of character, so they made sure that the line was changed to ‘make love to me’.

“I can’t wait to see the fan reaction.”

“Jasper’s right. People are gonna lose their shit.”

(Certainly, they are not wrong…)

***

Just before they start filming the scene the next morning, Clarke tweets a row of cryptic emojis along with the hashtags #EmbersTV and #BigDay. Smirking, she joins Bellamy on the set of Cassandra’s bedchamber, and even though they both look very much in character, they have one last ritual as Bellamy and Clarke before they start shooting.

They hug. For a long time…

It’s nice, not only because of the obvious reasons, but it also seems to strengthen their connection, so that the chemistry continues to be — as according to @TheTheloniusJaha on Twitter — on fire. When this ritual started two years ago, the showrunner found it so special that he posted a picture of it to the Internet, and to say the fandom went nuts would be an understatement. Most notable retweets go to:

@Jassandraisrealbitches: NOW WE HAVE SOME CONTENT FOR MODERN AU’S FOLKS ASDFJGGJFSO

@JulianAmeradaah: Oh would you look at these cuties??!!!?? No wonder why their connection is da bomb.com

@QueenCassandra: This might not be the canon story, but my Jassandra heart has been fed a whole ass meal thank u @ jesus

“Are you okay?” Bellamy murmurs once they pull away from each other, his eyes as soft as the rain-soaked Earth, and she just barely resists the desire to kiss him. Instead, she nods, determined. Then they go to their assigned marks just before Thelonius Jaha roars, “ACTION!”

Cassandra’s hair is still wet from a bath, so she’s wringing it out when Julian emerges from the shadows, his ripped shirt exposing the blossoming bruises on his chest. She gasps, stepping forward to reach for him, but he takes a step back. His midnight sky eyes have lost their stars as they flash with an emotion she can’t identify. “I’m a monster, Princess,” he proclaims.

She ignores it. “I told you not to call me that.”

Without looking at her, he bursts into laughter, almost hysterical. The horror of battle has started to feast on his soul, on his heart and it threatens to tear her apart, seeing him like this. “Julian, please…” She can tell that he wants to look at her, because he clenches his jaw.

“I thought I was angry when I heard about Bhoran asking for your hand in marriage, Your Highness, but how can I be? I will never be good enough for you. I could never give you the life you want.”

Once he’s said that, the blood boils in her veins and fire sparks within her ocean eyes. This time when she strides forward, she doesn’t let him back away. Instead, she crashes her mouth onto his, her lips violent and desperate…

Unbeknownst to their co-stars, Bellamy and Clarke have already kissed countless times, so even though their makeout sessions are a lot more relaxed than this, kissing is easy. But staying in character, however, that’s difficult. She can tell that Bellamy wants to soften the kiss, which he isn’t supposed to. He also buries his hand in her hair, going off script, but it likely won’t be a big deal.

Definitely not to the fans anyway… They will gush about this for months.

Julian breaks away to discover that her rage hasn’t evaporated completely. “Since when do you know what I want?” She hisses, even if her lower lip quivers with emotion. In front of her is the man who taught her to fight, to defy her father, to value her own ambition instead of being obedient. “I want you. All of you,” she states, tearing at his ruined shirt until the material falls off.

“Cassandra…” Finally, he says her real name, causing her eyes to shut briefly as desire strikes her harder. Still, his voice is barely audible, hidden by a veil of uncertainty, but she holds his gaze with the utmost determination as she maps his chest with her hands, the bruises too.

(Clarke takes the liberty of licking her lips a little, so that means Cassandra does as well)

“Make love to me.”

He stares for half a minute. “I can’t… You’re a—“

“Don’t say it!” When she turns her back to him, Julian can’t resist the temptation of undoing the buttons on her dress. In fact, he wants nothing more than to free her of that horrible corset. Leaning into his touch, she sighs. “Until morning, I am Cassandra, no more, no less… And I love you.”

One thing that the TV Scoop journalist Riley Peterson remarked in his first of many reviews on Embers was that the love scenes were graphic, just like in Game of Thrones, which had a bunch of horny white men flocking to the show only to be disappointed when they discovered that Embers is unapologetically feminist. Jaha even had this in mind when he chose the type of sex that Julian and Cassandra (his two leads) would be having.

(“Yeah, Cassandra’s father may be all about preserving medieval values, but Julian isn’t.”

When Jaha said that, Bellamy had winked at her discreetly, whispering, “Julian knows how to please a woman. We have so much in common.” For that comment, Clarke kicked teasingly at his shin under the table)

There’s a cut between Cassandra’s dress falling to the floor and the next scene where they’re in her bed, having sex, so they take a quick break to have some water. “We got this, right?”

Looking around to make sure nobody’s watching them, Bellamy presses a reassuring kiss to her temple, and she smiles in gratitude. Still, she’s unsure about something, so she decides to ask Bellamy for his two cents because he’s probably the person — right next to Jaha and herself — that knows the most about Cassandra as a character.

“How loud do you’d think she’d be?” When he raises his eyebrows, grinning, she swats at his arm. “It’s a genuine question, Bellamy.”

“I know. Sorry… I’m gonna say that she’s a woman, a virgin, who’s having oral sex with the man that she loves the most in the world, so… she’s probably loud. At the very least shook.”

Well, that part won’t be hard to play at all. The first time Bellamy went down on her, she was left speechless, feeling as if she were flying high above land with the stars surrounding her. Yes, it’d been that great, and luckily he’d felt the same way.

They’re smiling at each other when Jaha appears. “Sorry if I’m ruining a moment, but we gotta roll again.”

Showtime…

To get it right, Clarke tries to remember the stars that formed behind her eyelids when Bellamy licked into her for the first time, and it works. She cries out, clutching at his hair with one hand and at the sheets with the other. As her lips part, Bellamy presses an unscripted kiss to her inner thigh, which has her gasping. It’s a natural reaction, for her as well as Cassandra, so it really doesn’t matter, but she still feels self-conscious.

“You good?” Bellamy adlibs, and she nods frantically, managing a fake moan when he pretends to pick up the pace.

To be fair, the script doesn’t mention anything about Cassandra having an orgasm, but in the matter of two seconds, Clarke decides that yes, her character would definitely have one, so she does her job as an actress and fakes it. This is something that she’s never done with Bellamy before, which means that the production team will have to decide whether it’s convincing enough to keep in the final take.

“Beautiful,” once again, Bellamy adlibs, but he’s good at that, mostly because he has such a strong sense of Julian. Then he moves up her body to kiss her deeply, and when Jaha yells ‘CUT!’ it clearly takes all of his willpower to stop. Pulling back, he mimics ‘Later’ like a promise; his dark eyes alight with sparks.

***

Later in her dressing room, Clarke is alone and has just pulled out a Hershey’s cookies and cream bar as a reward for her sweet tooth when Bellamy walks in, hands buried in his pockets. A smile is blooming on her lips when she turns around to face him.

He starts, “You should improvise more. I know that’s usually my thing, but you’re really good at it.”

Feeling heat rush to her face at the compliment, Clarke admits, “Well, I’m not actually used to faking orgasms… I’ve only ever done it once.”

His brow furrows, and it’s most likely because of their five-year-long friendship that she understands why without having to ask. Therefore, she clears her throat, blushing harder. She feels like a teenager. “Not with you. I have an ex-boyfriend that I only slept with once before we broke up, and he really failed at getting me off.”

“Do you want me to get you off?”

“You just did,” she replies, her sassiness colliding with his bluntness in a way that makes him laugh. It’s her favorite sound, even better than jazz on a Sunday morning or a rainstorm pounding against her window…

“No. Julian got Cassandra off. We should celebrate. Jassandra’s canon, after all. ”

There are countless things wrong with having your co-stars head between your legs; especially it’s in an unlocked dressing room… Whatever. It’s too late to be sensible now, and if being sensible means that she can no longer date or have sex with Bellamy, she is choosing to be foolish.

“Oh, the things we do for fun,” she thinks out loud, the words emerging at the edge of a moan. Bellamy’s tongue is always able to give her earthquake-like orgasms that cause tremors to run through her body, the best of aftershocks. Laughing, she pulls him up to kiss the bronze stars on his forehead.

“Do you think we should tell the others about us?”

Her heart swells. This is getting really serious for him, too. “Yeah. When the time is right.”

***

As it turns out, the time is right on the night where the episode airs on national television, and Clarke has decided to invite the entire gang over to celebrate and watch live. Just when the love scene is about to start, Jasper mumbles around his slice of pizza, “This is my favorite part,” and everyone chuckles, but he is too fixated on the screen to notice.

Smiling a little shyly, Clarke walks to Bellamy while their friends are watching the scene unfold and sits down on his lap. Only when the scene is over, everyone turns to them (mostly because their phones are blowing up with Twitter notifications). Apparently the least shocked, Raven is the first person to make a comment, “Fucking finally. I knew all of that chemistry wasn’t there for nothing.”

“Reyes, you sound like a Twitter fangirl,” Miller notes, which earns him a pillow in the face.

But yeah, in Miller’s defense, she actually does:

@Jassandraisreal: ASDFHDISNVJ BITCH I AM ON THE F L O O R. WHAT THE FUQ? #Jassandra #EmbersTV #507

@AmeradasJulian: SHE CAME… SHE CAME!!!111!!! WHEN WILL YOUR OTP EVER? I HAVE ASCENDED #Jassandra #EmbersTV #i am deceased

@Embersfan125: How is it possible to be so alive and so fucking dead at the same time?? I blame @EmbersTV @TheTheloniusJaha @ClarkeyG & @BellamyBlake #EmbersTV

However, this is nothing compared to the amount of keysmashes and exclamation points in the tweets following Bellamy’s announcement 18 months later:

BELLAMY BLAKE: ‘YES, IT’S TRUE. CLARKE AND I ARE ENGAGED.’

Fans all over the world have lost it. As @Jassandraendgaame on Twitter so eloquently puts it: “WE NEVER FUCKING LOSE BITCHES!”

#bellarke fanfiction #bffnet #bffwritingteam #wt: josefine #a: selflessbellamy #title: we play our parts so well #actor!bellamy #actress!clarke #celebrities #established relationship #secret relationship #prompts #social media au

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tantoknives · 7 years

Note

hey how about 1-30 from that one ask thing

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?-first off i sent this to myself. second, i would link them to my soundcloud and spotify and shit like that. if i had to chose a single band i’d have to go with cherub, they’re my favorite band of all time and i get teary thinking about how jordan kelly gave me a hug. uh anyway also watch princess mononoke and kiki’s delivery service because theyre my fave and i heavily relate to kiki. i guess for reading read my childhood faves like redwall, warriors, guardians of ga’hoole, and everlost trilogy. i don’t do as much recreational reading these days.

have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?-not?? really in particular. i modeled my early writing more after my childhood favorites (see above lmao) so my writing wasn’t terribly complex. i think i model my writing a bit closer to stephen king’s; he has a very good way of conveying situations/emotions in an extremely subtle way

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.-wow this list has gotten small. the only fandom i actually really interact with is the transformers fandom nowadays. i relate to knockout because i love breakdown. other stuff i used to vibe with is steven universe, and i really related to rose quartz.

do you like your name? is there another name you think would fit you better?-now that i’ve figured out that i’m nonbinary, i’d prefer a more... gender neutral name. megan is such...... a generic name. i’m fine with meg, but i don’t even respond to megan anymore lmao. i’m fond of mac, like mac demarco. maybe to be unique™️ i should be called demarco.

do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?-what the fuck kind of question is this it sounds like a question from a job application. and yeah i guess?? i mean i call myself a writer and an artist and a depressed fuck because that’s what i do

are you religious/spiritual?-no. i had some bad experiences in the church and it effectively drove me away from christianity in particular. i enjoy other houses of religion, tho. i find it very interesting to be an observer.

do you care about your ethnicity?-kinda?? it’s something that i think about a lot because i could have had a lot more culture from my dad’s side except my family on his side was whitewashed as a side effect of rampant racism in the 50s and 60s. i’m ‘hispanic’ but i’m not even sure what that means nowadays?? like am i just white?? i don’t know and it bugs me. like, i’m not trying to reach to be a poc but i’m also not sure if i’m white or not. most of the time i just kind of ignore it.

what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?-florence and the machine was the first artist that i really, really connected with after i heard ‘dog days are over’ during a movie preview on the tv. her lungs album was the first i ever bought, and she was the first artist i ever followed religiously. a little while after her i got really into woodkid. now i’m deeply invested in the band cherub, theyve gotten me through a lot of hard times, all of them. for awhile i was very much into linkin park’s ‘a thousand suns’ album, so chester’s death has touched me in some small way.

are you an artist?-yeah, i would definitely say so. it’s definitely been a hugely defining part of my identity for the entirety of my life, if that says anything.

do you have a creed?-not?? particularly?? like for me my creed is to let people do their own thing and stay in my lane unless theyre hurting somebody. like i don’t really care what people do unless it becomes my business.

describe your ideal day.-ohh getting up at 10am with good hair, doing my makeup and putting on a cute outfit. getting my nails done with a good friend, having a light but tasty lunch then going to get bubble tea after. going to the mall for a couple of hours, then going to a nice place for dinner and a movie. after that, going for a nice swim at night with some friends, good music, and a bit of booze. more movies after that if we’re awake enough.

dog person or cat person?-i think i answered this already but fundamentally i’m a cat person because i’m too low energy to be a dog person

inside or outdoors?-i’m too delicate of a creature for these earthly elements, so indoors i shall stay. it’s too fucking hot outside.

are you a musician?-actually, i used to be. i played the piano for nearly ten years and played the french horn/mellophone for another five. i wish that i still played an instrument but i barely have the will to get out of bed, much less the dedication to devote myself to an instrument

five most influential books over your lifetime.-the lovely bones by alice sebold-the green mile by stephen king-the redwall series by brian jacques-the everlost trilogy by neal shushterman-call of the wild by jack londongod......... i need to read more books

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?-i mean, yeah?? that’s basic psychology, tbh.

would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?-mmaybe?? i don’t really talk that much on here (aside from these ridiculously long ask memes godd) but i’m fairly frank and i typically say what i would irl. i’m a pretty frank person.

what’s your patronus?-already answered, but i’m changing my answer to Macho Man Randy Savage™️

which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?-i don’t care enough about this question to answer this

would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?-all of the above listed universes sound like shit except magic is maybe cool. pokemon is the ultimate alternate reality

do you love easily?-i used to, but i’m a bit more anxious and wary of my relationships these days

list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.-sleeping (this summer i average like, 12 hours lmao)-browsing tunglr, sadly-this summer?? breath of the wild-staring at sketchbooks, pencil hovering over the page-eat

how often would you want to see your family every year?-my mom and dad?? once a month sounds good, if not twice. my sister?? fucking never

have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?-me and my SO are ridiculously close to the point where he knew i was starting my period before i even did

could you live as a hermit?-i already do

how would you describe your gender/sexuality?-i am nonbinary and pansexual. so yeah and yeah

do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?-this is something i’ve been working on actually and it’s sorta difficult because i have some clothes that i feel do and a lot that don’t because i have a lot of ultra-femme clothes that i don’t feel as comfy in anymore. i mean, depending on my mood. also my hair is so fucking shaggy i look like a goddamn muppet.

on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?-it takes a lot, because i mean people make mistakes and do/say shit that they didn’t think about. that’s for friends. other people can and will bug the fuck out of me with ease.

three songs that you connect with right now.-monogamy by cherub-hallelujah money by gorillaz (iconic)-marijuana by chrome sparks

pick one of your favorite quotes.-uhh hmoh actually i do think i know- “i am become death, destroyer of worlds” from the bhagavad gita i know it’s generic but it’s very iconic, and i especially like hearing it in oppenheimer’s post-atomic bomb speech

#magtalk #about me #i'll probably reblog this again later when it's not 4:30 in the morning #Anonymous

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