#that was a whole mess huh

[flowercrowngods]

@steddie-week

part 1 (bc this is one big 7 part story)

day 02: bittersweet & angst

1 new message

eddie The Problem munson: engagement party on saturday babyyyy 🥳🥸🕺

Steve’s been staring at the message for two days now. It's sitting in his notifications, staring at him like a painful reminder of what happened exactly seven days ago. A week. It's only been a week, and Steve somehow it feels like it was both only one day or seven months ago.

It's an almost liminal experience, walking through life without texting Eddie every second of the day – because texting him would mean opening his message. It would make this real.

And that's the last thing Steve wants.

"I'm not going," Robin declares as they're cuddling on the couch, wallowing in their misery as Mayday Parade's Oh Well, Oh Well is playing for the eighth time on repeat. "Tell me you're not going, Stevie."

"Robbie," he sighs, squeezing her tighter as she tries to wriggle out of his arms to glare at him.

"Steve."

"I can't not go."

"Yes you can." She pokes him in the ribs, but he doesn't budge. She pokes him again. "Not going to things is literally the easiest thing in the world. It's a hundred times easier than going to things. You should try it sometime, trust me. You go to too many things, and–"

"Bee," he hums to get her out of the rambling spiral before she can get lost in it.

"What I'm saying," he interrupts herself dramatically, "is that you can't do this to yourself. They're engaged. They're getting married. We're going to keep our distance until our brains and hearts and the traitorous little chemicals in our bodies catch up to reality, and then we get over them, and then we can go back and see them ever again. That's the logical thing to do, Steve. But you can't... You can't just go and get your heart broken and talk yourself into thinking it's the right thing to do. It's not."

Steve sighs into her hair and buries his face in her neck. He knows that. Technically, logically, he does.

But not going feels wrong. Wronger than anything else that's been hollowing out his chest and leaving nothing but emptiness and the ghosts of every smile, every touch, every baby, love, sweetheart, sunshine. Every imaginary future, every scenario where Eddie meant it. Meant those words, meant those smiles, meant it when he took Steve's hand to hold it.

But Eddie did mean it. Every time, he meant it; because he calls Argyle and Jeff and Gareth baby and sunshine and sweetheart, too. He takes their hands, too, leans in to kiss their cheeks and just holds them when he needs to. That's just the kind of person Eddie is. Always has been.

To go and assume he never meant it would be unfair.

To go and hope it could ever mean more when Chrissy has always been right there would just be stupid.

Well, good thing Steve has that kind of reputation with a few people anyway, so it's not even a statistical outlier, that one. It's not even worth a side note.

"I know," he rasps, his eyes beginning to sting as the next lyrics are carved into the empty space of where his heart used to be.

Oh well, oh well I can't live with myself As I'm climbing in your window to get to your bed.

And I'll be what you need, You can call me anything. Just as long as we're still friends.

Tears prickle in his eyes and he doesn't bother to hold them back. Not now, not with Robin. They've both been crying on and off all week, even though Robin took it better than him.

"I know," he sobs, wrapping his arms around her even tighter as she lets herself be held because she knows that's what he needs. "I know, I know, I know. But I have to. I can't just... I can't just stop, Bee."

"I know," she sighs, climbing out of his hold eventually to wrap her arms around him in return as he cries into her shoulder.

The world (read: his Spotify playlist) makes it worse by playing Sum 41's With Me next, ripping out even the newly carved words.

Robin holds him for the rest of the night, even as he finally opens Eddie's message and types out a reply.

—I'll come!

And especially when there's a new message immediately.

—hot 🥵❤️

He leaves Eddie on read after that.

~*~

Saturday rolls around in a haze, and suddenly Steve finds himself looking at the front door of the little house Chrissy inherited after her mother passed a few years ago. It's a nice little house. Quaint. Perfect. Everything Steve could ever dream of, actually. And she deserves it. All of this and more.

There's noise coming from the garden, where people are laughing and having a great time. A happy time, celebrating their friends and all the good things in life that come with a love well placed.

God, what is he doing here? He can't do this. There is no way.

He's just about to pull out his phone and call Robin, tell her he's coming home, or ask her to tell him everything's gonna be alright, when–

"Steve!" Chrissy hurries towards him, throwing her arms around him in a tight, warm, perfect hug. God, he loves her so much. He melts right into the embrace, wrapping his arms around her middle to spin her around with a grin.

She giggles in delight and tells him to let her down again, which only makes him spin for another round, his grin turning into a genuine laugh.

"No, I hate you!" she laughs, but still doesn't step away from him when he puts her down again. Instead, she leans up and brushes a kiss to his cheek. "Hi, asshole."

"Hi."

He grins and takes her hands in his, just smiling at her for another moment before his eyes trail down to a ring he's never seen her wear before. Ah. Right.

"Oh shit! That it?"

"That's it," Chrissy says, looking down at her hand to look at the ring with a fond, happy little smile, her cheeks flushing red. It breaks Steve a little, but it also fixes something inside him to see her so truly, genuinely happy. "Pretty huh?"

"Very," Steve breathes, hiding the lump in his throat with a sound of awe.

Chrissy hugs him again for good measure and then takes his hand to drag him into the backyard the same way she just came out front, through a little gate off to the side instead of through the house.

Steve loves their backyard because it's always covered in sheerly endless colourful strings of light that are wrapped around decorative arches or poles, framing the back doors and the canopy swing set on the lawn, and just give it the most homey and comfortable atmosphere.

"Stevie!" Eddie exclaims immediately and jumps off from his chair, interrupting a conversation he's apparently been having with Argyle and Nancy to run up to him with such a giddy expression that Steve wants to cry. His heart leaps in his chest, coming back to life and saying one last goodbye at the same time.

"Hi," he says, hugging Eddie close before he can so much as think about what he's doing. But no matter how hurt he is, there will never be a world in which he won't want to hug Eddie Munson. "Sorry I'm late."

"No sorries, it's fine," Eddie murmurs into his neck, staying in the embrace endlessly, and Steve takes the chance to breathe him in. He smells so good. So, so good. It clogs his lungs and renders him unable to speak.

But who needs to speak when they have Eddie in their arms? Who needs to speak when all they have to do is never let go?

Eddie squeezes him a little tighter, and Steve wants to cry. He slowly, gently pushes away from the hug and turns towards the other guests, greeting them with a grin, a hug, or a handshake if they're not familiar.

When he gets to Wayne, the man eyes him with a look that Steve doesn't want to read too much, and his embrace is just a little longer, just a little stronger than usual.

“You look tired, son,” he says by way of greeting, and Steve can’t help but snort and shake his head a little.

“Good to see you again, too, old man.”

Wayne eyes him for one moment longer, then breaks into a small smile and pats Steve’s shoulder before stepping around him to go grab another drink.

After that, the night passes in a blur of talking to his friends, trying to understand what the hell it is that has Nancy and Argyle arguing so profusely, but with smiles on their faces. He fails. But it’s good to see them again, so he just basks in it for a while.

Or, he tries, because every second that he’s not talking or listening to someone, his eyes flick back to Eddie. Eddie, who’s lifting Chrissy from behind and smacking a loud, wet kiss to her neck, her jaw and her cheek, accompanied by her delighted squeals and laughter.

Eddie, who’s looking larger than life, a happy grin permanently plastered on his face as he reminds their guests that Chrissy was his bisexual awakening.

“I swear, she just swept me off my feet after years of thinking I was only into dudes. Knew I had to marry her, but man, I don’t know why she said yes.”

“I’m settling, honey,” Chrissy calls from the other end of the table they’re sitting around. “Only in it for that rockstar money and all.”

The whole table laughs at that.

“Hear, hear,” Eddie snorts, lifting his glass in a toast. Steve and the others lift theirs, too, even though Steve’s hand and arm and whole body feels numb and he’s not entirely sure he’s breathing.

A while later, he grabs a drink and retreats to the canopy swing, illuminated in the soft pink flow of the fairy lights wrapped around it. Eddie’s eyes land on him for a second and Steve thinks that he’ll come over and join him — but then one of Chrissy’s friends says something that distracts him and seemingly makes him fall into a monologue of sorts.

Steve watches, feeling only loss and longing as he does. Eddie is a force of nature. A spectacle. Something beautiful, something powerful, something secret that only a select few get to witness. To know. To appreciate.

Staring as he is, blind to the rest of the world, he startles a little when the swing jostles with another weight settling on it. He didn’t see Wayne coming to join him, and he’s not quite sure whether he should be grateful for the company or apprehensive of what the man who’s like a father to him might have to say.

“How are you doing, son?”

He frowns. “I’m alright.”

Wayne only hums, and Steve’s frown deepens. There’s a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that tells him Wayne knows something. That he knows.

“Y’know,” he continues after a while, not looking at Steve but rather at his nephew and his fiancée. “I always figured it would be you.”

Steve crumbles. Yeah, me too, he wants to say, but that would be a lie. Watching the way Chrissy sits on Eddie’s lap with his arms around her, his chin on her shoulder as he tells her something that makes her laugh that cute, pretty, adorable laugh that Eddie then can’t help but join — that’s just something Steve would never compare to. Nothing he’d ever want to come in between.

Eddie and Chrissy are perfect. They’re happy. They fit, they match, they work. They worked so hard and treat each other so right.

They look giddy and serene at the same time, and it makes Steve’s eyes sting. Because he can never make Eddie look like that. He can never make Eddie look at him like that.

I always figured it would be you.

But he couldn’t. That bubbly kind of love, the sunshine kind of love. He knows that’s not for him. Steve’s too much for that. He would never be enough for Eddie — even if without Eddie, there’s nothing left of him.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Wayne continues, unaware of Steve’s thought spiral. “I love that girl, I do. Always will. I think she’s too good for Eddie. Don’t tell him I said that,” he adds hastily, and Steve smiles through the tears that threaten to fall again.

“They’re perfect,” he rasps, laughing wetly as Chrissy starts chasing Eddie, who’s hiding behind a very distressed Argyle, who just wants his brochachos to chill!

Maybe it’s a laugh, maybe it’s a sob. He doesn’t have it in him to find out or care.

“They are. Doesn’t mean they’re right, son.”

Steve sighs and tears his eyes away from Eddie. “Wayne.”

“I know, I know.” He lifts his hands in defence. “Shutting up.” After a long pause of holding Steve’s eyes, he asks, “Will you be okay?”

No, he thinks immediately, the lump in his throat too big to say anything. So he just shrugs and swallows. “Sure.”

Maybe. Hardly. Probably not. Definitely not.

"No matter what happens, you'll always be a son to me. You’ll always have a home with an open door with me, you hear me?"

"I’m not going anywhere, wayne," Steve says, though for the first time ever he doesn't really believe that. Maybe he needs to leave. To leave Eddie behind. Get over him. Cut out his heart and leave it here, run away to heal somewhere else, come back as a new person, or just stay away forever.

The thought makes a tear spill as an empty kind of desperation spreads it’s ugly wings inside his chest, and he's too frozen to wipe it away.

"You hear me?" Wayne repeats, gentler this time, but no less urgent for it.

"Yeah," steve rasps. "Thanks."

Another tear falls as Eddie gently pulls Chrissy closer to him and kisses her in the soft glow of the fairy lights above and around them. Their friends cheer. Steve wants to cry his heart out again.

“I—“ he swallows, wiping at his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. I can’t do this, he wants to say. For the first time, that’s what he wants to say. “I think I’m gonna head home soon.”

“You bring your car?”

He shakes his head, feeling foggy and dazed and empty and endlessly, endlessly sad. “Was gonna, uh—“

“Let me drive you.” There’s no room for debate or argument there, and Steve wants to crumble again, but still he shakes his head.

“Wayne, no—“

“I’m taking you, son. Make sure you get home safe, or I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Don’t wanna keep your old man up all night, do ya?”

Steve concedes with a fond eye roll and a grateful smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“That’s what I thought.”

They sit like that for another ten minutes — and if Steve leans into Wayne’s side a little, then that’s nobody’s business but theirs.

The car ride is quiet, but it feels weighted even as Wayne pretends not to see the way Steve keeps wiping at his cheeks as the silent tears keep falling, leaving him powerless to stop them.

I can’t do this, he keeps thinking over and over again.

“Just a little warning,” Wayne speaks up again as he pulls up to Steve’s building. “I think he’s going to ask you to be his best man, Stevie. Don’t do anything you’re not ready for, okay?”

I can’t do this.

He nods, numb again.

“I’ll do anything for him,” he breathes.

“That’s what I’m afraid of, yeah.”

He gets out of the car before he can find out what exactly Wayne means by that. The car stays where it is until the front door closes behind him, until he’s up in his bedroom and finds Robin already asleep.

Ten minutes later, he cuddles close to her and tries hard not to cry, but tonight’s memories have burned themselves into his mind. And he shouldn’t have gone. He knows. He knows.

I’ll do anything. I can’t do this. I’ll do anything. I can’t do this.

He can’t breathe, and Robin holds him through it, whispering sleepily to him as he cries himself to sleep, wishing for a world where he’s not absolutely and utterly in love with Eddie Munson, but failing to imagine one.

I’ll do anything. Anything but this.

tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen come back tomorrow for idk which prompt | read part 3 here

#steddie fic #steddie #steddieweek2023 #dio words #listen i barely got any sleep last night and it’s almost 2am again and i’m SO tired so if this doesn’t make sense if it’s too repetitive or #anything??? then that’s just how it is (wap bap) #they all love each other so much it’s a whole mess #would love to give you hurt/comfort tomorrow but that would be rather soon huh #also please nobody be mean to/about chrissy i swear to god #everyone who’s commented and/or reblogged the first part: HI HELLO MWAH!! 🤍🌷

[jellydragons]

tetra is having a Day

#my posts #my art #the legend of zelda #wind waker #tloz #tloz wind waker #tloz ww #wind waker fanart #like imagine you break through a window cool as to save your sorta bestie #only oops oh no some dude the size of a mountain wearing a bathrobe has you by the neck and is saying some wild stuff about whatever #and you very reasonably pass out on account of the being strangled #next thing you know you wake up on your sorta bestie’s talking (!) boat not dead which is a definite plus #but also UNDER THE LITERAL ACTUAL OCEAN. OKAY. #so the talking (!!) boat is like ‘go find the whatever’ so your sorta bestie takes you on a quick jaunt through this MASSIVE building #like this thing is bigger than windfall island and just under the ocean?? this whole time apparently?? #anyway so it’s pretty chill you go down into the basement there’s some sweet statues and then a dude in ANOTHER bathrobe appears #yada yada says some stuff turns out the talking (!!!) boat was actual the ghost of some long dead rando who’s like a king ig and THEN #HE FIDDLES WITH YOUR MUM’S TRIANGLE NECKLACE AND SUDDENLY YOU’RE IN SOME MUSTY DRESS WITH MORE LACE THAN SENSE AND ALSO A PRINCESS?? #which. okay. take a second to process THAT mess and huh if you’re a princess and the dead boat dude is a king wouldn’t that mean- AUGH #this takes place over like maybe 5 hours including the time you were Passed Out On Account Of The Strangulation #AND THEN YOU GET LOCKED IN THE BASEMENT LIKE???? #anyways tetra should’ve systematically smashed every stained glass window in the place. she deserved it for having the Worst Day Of Her Life

[pocketramblr]

What about an AU where Yoichi and AFO's quirks are swapped?

1- Yoichi, tiny little twin he is, starved, is so hungry that the second he's born, he clings and tries for food as the twins are raised to suckle- instead, he pulls the spike quirk into his body, and chokes on it. the spikes pierce the nursing new mother, and that with the injury of childbirth means this will be the first and last time the twins have milk.

2- The spikes poke AfO's hands when he grabs the baby, but Yochi's too tired and worn out to hurt him as much. Later, he'll learn to keep from hurting his brother, even as AfO ignores it, carrying Yoichi around like a weapon. Throw spiky brother at prey/intruders/attackers, then collect him when he's done. Yoichi is an attack dog- part pet, part tool. Except he's not good at following orders, his first words being "stop" and "no", so AfO just kinda shoves him where he wants him. Still, Yoichi doesn't leave.

3- As Yoichi is AfO's weapon, he is not left in different shelters while AfO goes out alone- he's never given the opportunity for privacy, or reading comics. Still, AfO finds out that Yoichi does not like *anyone* attacking others, not just him- he'll yell at strange grown ups to stop too, just like he does AfO. AfO wishes he would just attack first and stop trying to use words or tears that don't work- but then Yoichi takes another power and makes the attacker run away, and well... yeah, he can allow that.

4- When Yoichi falls ill, he cannot go out to fight or steal powers. AfO tries to tell him to anyway, and Yoichi gets annoyed and tells him to 'do it himself if he wants to badly enough', shoving the spike quirk into him- passing on a quirk for the first time. AfO is delighted, and tries to shake out more quirks, but Yoichi passed out from the effort, and refuses to when he wakes up- he even tries to take the spike quirk back, but finds that he can't. AfO gets more demanding, trying anything for more, bargaining, then threatening. Yoichi can't fight back without seriously hurting him, and he doesn't want to- so he finally shoves a bunch of quirks into his older brother and runs while he adjusts to the feeling.

5- AfO becomes a multi powered fiend, feared, while Yoichi vanishes, laying low and staying on the move, taking quirks from those who misuse them- when he thinks the word won't get back to his brother who still hunts him. One day, Yoichi's hideout is broken into by two vigilantes who want him to neutralize AfO. Yoichi explains he can't, his power can't take any back from his twin, and he tried. After some conferring, the two take Yoichi back to their group to figure out how he can be used to help, in exchange for safe keeping and food. A year later, the gambit seems to have worked- Kudo and his second-in-command stumble back to the base, the rest of the multi-quirk soldiers dead in the successful attempt to kill AfO. But that's when they realize the stress of multiple quirks in one brain, and Yoichi tries to take all their powers back to heal them. It doesn't work. The attack was their entire plan- the whole base is empty now, and everyone who left dead. Just Yoichi, and the youngest recruit Hikage who stayed behind as an alarm/guard, remain. Finally truly broken, Yoichi goes to Hikage and passes on every quirk, including the all-for-one quirk, then dies. Hikage flees into the woods. (Unbeknownst to him, so does Yoichi's brother's successor, Gigantomachia.)

#haha wow. thats messed up. #starredmoth #pocket talks to people #ask game #like. just miserable for everyone huh #maybe we just hope the whole family blows itself up by banjo's era so the rest of the cast can have some peace #or at least. not something worse #bnha manga spoilers #ishh im gonna probably stop tagging that when its been a full week

[usermoon]

e&a

if i wanted to know who you were hanging with while i was gone i would have asked you it's the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass but i felt it when i passed you there's an ache in you put there by the ache in me but if it's all the same to you it's the same to me

#everyone say hi blare!! #this is where anyone who has seen this posts and their story goes “huh?” #where tf is avia? why is ella kissing on a different girl #well to make a much more complicated story short #essentially this takes place before avia and ella get together and its all done in secret #blare is a long time friend and is from ellas hometown #when ella was in elementary school she moved to the town that e&a takes place in but she still sees blare during holidays and whatnot #but it had been a second since they'd seen each other and the two of them essentially form a friends with benefits situation #messy! yikes! it doesnt end well but eventually they stay friends #but this would be the very beginning of their romantic relationship #they also both use each other ella uses her as a replacement for avia and blare uses ella as a replacement for her toxic on and off bf #its a whole mess #e&a #daniella gracelynn #blare bier #dont be fooled #there is a tree but blares family is just the type to put it up before thanksgiving is up #this takes place on thanksgiving after ella and her mom visit their hometown #was writing a little blurb to accompany this weeks ago when i started this but i didnt finish it in time #might finish and post it later #and by later i mean real later cause you know me and my super consistent posts

[moonsbijou]

just slightly obsessed and anticipating~

#pjo tv show #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #hoo #Percy Jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood #black annabeth chase really sucked me in to this fandom faster than percabeth got sucked into Tartarus huh #lol I am a whole mess out here

[millenniummmbop]

rivalshipping is about healing to me but like in a “well-meaning yet still ill-advised codependency” way

#*pulls down projection screen and extends my collapsible pointer stick thing* #Yugi was a lonely kid with unresolved anger issues who went too far w the whole revenge fantasy thing #until The Power Of Friendship TM mellowed him out and he finally landed in a more emotionally stable state #*clicks to next slide* #meanwhile kaiba over here is ALSO a lonely kid with unresolved anger issues who ALSO went too far w his own fucked up revenge fantasy #*quickly shuffles through slides of Death-T* #but two mind-shattering comas later and yugi at the very least was willing to bury the hatchet and try to start over again #the whole 'kaiba vs peg sus' fiasco was where everyone finds out kaiba's motives up to that point and where it all finally clicks for yugi #*clicks to next slide to reveal the 'he just like me fr' meme but it's yugi crying on the balcony inside peggy's castle* #it's after this that yugi starts thinking 'Well friendship fixed ME so maybe it can fix HIM too' #*clicks next slide and hits play on the embedded video* #Yugi: good morning kaiba-kun! nice weather we're having today huh? #Kaiba: I'm going to beat u in the face and in the ass #Yugi: haha alright bud I'll see u at regionals tomorrow #Yugi said so himself that he wanted 'friends he could count on and who could count on him' (paraphrasing) #i think he saw this mess of a human being recklessly barreling towards the edge at 100 miles an hour and said #'yeah this looks like something i can personally fix' #bc he's the type of person to just selflessly shoulder a mountain of burdens if it means helping someone he cares about #like his heart is definitely in the right place but i don't think he realizes that kaiba also needs like #therapy and mood stabilizers or some shit #*a voice rings out from the back of the class* #'op they had like 10 minutes of conversation MAX over the entirety of duelist kingdom this is literally all in ur head* #no no the groundwork is there for all of this i PROMISE #lion king rafiki voice: look harder #like yes i'm delusional but i'm also RIGHT #(⓿_⓿) #ignore me

[uselessnocturnal]

thinking about how fucked up it is that when nimona was all “the guy who cut off your arm??” ballister not only defends ambrosius but also the institution because “it’s what we were trained to do”.

firstly. that’s fucked up.

secondly, man clearly does not hold a grudge in that scene - he defends the arm chopping like he’s made peace with it. like there wasn’t any other way to be disarmed? as though it’s NORMAL to cause significant harm like that

#i cant word it right #but it’s just so messed up losing a limb (bc of someone you love) and being like: it’s ok that’s what we were taught #like HUH???? #BECAUSE THE THING IS AMBROSIUS ALSO DIDNT EVEN BLINK #one frame after the queen died and he’d CUT HIS ARM OFF #HIS ARM. #there is?? the wrist or he definitley could’ve just knocked the sword out #BUT THE WHOLE ARM RIGHT BELOW THE SHOULDER?? #ITS FUCKED UP THAT ITS INSTINCT AND ITS FUCKED UP THAT BALLISTER IS OKAY WITH IT #nimona spoilers #the thoughts and thoughting #nimona #ballister blackheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister boldheart

[swordmaid]

I was reading this drow dnd handbook last night and this line made me cackle

just imagining shri’iia in astarion’s confession scene internally being like

#she’s like HUH. #like it is a very sweet scene. in game. but in my head she’s like HUH‼️ #and they took a bit time to actually admit both they’re feelings bc he is being very brave and vulnerable but she won’t even have the #decency to look at him !!!!! and when he’s like look just tell me to fuck off and I’ll leave she’s like no that’s not it!!!!!! then he see #that she’s actually flustered. the tips of her ears are blushing and she’s a terrible mess rn and he’s like oh? oh. #and she’s like look. hand on his shoulders. clench. finally making eye contact. #I would like it if we were something too BUT quite frankly I don’t know what this is and im going through the worst tummy ache rn but I #like this vibe. and he’ll be like same bestie. #HENCE why I hc their ‘official’ lock in is the graveyard scene in act 3 ….!!!! they’re just in a situationship (for ME) #but in game I just go for the option where she asks what does he want to do but in my head it’s a whole mess lol #hitting them with the jbfication beam where love confessions turns into this long winded mess but unlike jb #they won’t have to argue abt it lol

[epitheta]

⠀ > M5 - 01 - 2022

tell // watch // hear

#[is.png] #[2022] #[cf.tom.zip] #[g.tom] #[p.tom] #[l.tom] #|| > you can tell I'm really enjoying my brainrot right. yep! #hmm. how do you think they actually would have been as proper cards? assuming they were viable - and not in the state that they were when #seen in ACT-2 (e.g. not obscuring the numbers with goo. not unable to have a sigil/be deemed useless as a playing card. no values AT ALL.) #anyways. it was a mess trying to interpret what the junior sage orange mage blue mage etc etc was #the blue mage wasn't even... I couldn't find a proper screenshot of its model at all 😭❔ #interesting though! since they all have the same hat in act-2 and goobs (I assume was who was in the intro for mags) was donned in purple? #funny though. go tell the master -> he was watching right? -> HEAR ME!!! I'M READY!!!!!!!!!!! #(paraphrased but you get the point...) #there's also [rightful place / highest honor / ???] #at that point wiz doesn't really actually mention anything about being one of mags's cards -- just says what their test was #I'm mumbling. ending the tags here LOL man this is fun to work with #I'm having a veeery normal one </3 #in which. do you think that they'd still retain such qualities? augh. the whole.. goo thing... impalement... etc etc... I guess it'd #necessitate a whole other AU for it huh?

[impossible-rat-babies]

sometimes eyrie and g’raha come out of this corner of my mind with a steel chair

#eyrie yeah definitely touching his cheek with an unbelievably tender smile is Very Normal Friend Behavior #and kissing his forehead before he turned to crystal in 5.3 #and carrying him back from the crystal tower on the source #the whole way back as he slept yeah Super Normal Behavior #anyway in their timeline it’s still kinda messed up that they aren’t together huh #shadowbringers spoilers

[quietwingsinthesky]

Benny: Thanks for not giving up on me, brother.

Dean: Don't give me a reason to.

(im going to throw up)

#DONT GIVE ME A REASON TO. DONT GIVE ME A REASON #'benny's the only one who has never let me down' #HE DOESN'T EVEN GET THE CHANCE TO HUH #BENNY IS DEAN'S MANIC PIXIE DREAM VAMPIRE WHO NEVER DISAGREES WITH HIM OR DOES THE WRONG THING #its sooo. its so pointed. its. this whole parallel sam to benny is so. im think i hauve covid #dean constantly hammering in to sam's head that He Failed. He Failed. He Let Him Down. He Failed. He Broke Everything Between Them. #and benny. benny. oh my god. #don't give me a reason to... #oh to live in the alternate reality where benny does fuck up and fucks up bad #what does dean do then. if his vampire friend was put up against the wall by hunger or a hunter #if he had to lash out. even if he didn't want to. is dean gonna stand by him then? #or does benny go join the long list of people who have let him down. and dean pulls a machete. #how quickly does that trust bleed out huh? how easily do you break a bond that hasn't been tested beyond battle and clandestine meetings #maybe it does happen and im just not remembering that it does. god i hope so. i need to see them get messed up. #dean/benny is so good and messy to me actually. #benny doesn't even know these expectations are being hoisted on him. he's never there when dean talks about how everyone else in his life #failed him. benny just thinks this is a normal (well. 'normal'. they were in purgatory. and probably had wild bloody sex in those woods) #but a normal friendship. and has no idea he's on any kind of pedestal. god. terrifying. imagine being pushed off a cliff you didn't know yo #were on the edge of. that's the situation benny is in rn #anyway! fun normal show for normal people! #benny lafitte #dean winchester #spn

[achairwithapandaonit]

Can't believe my current hyperfixation broke me out of my month long streak of being unable to write anything just to write a potentially long ass byler fic when I never write romance. I'm so fixated on the idea of will getting to have something good happen to him

#stranger things #byler #and the worst part is (i say as if this isn't the thing i find fun) that my brain gets obsessed with character dynamics #and currently i belive the theory that mike has been a closeted homosexual this whole time and has been pushing his feelings for will onto #el (tho i'll be psyched if it turns out he's bi. it's just that the closeted homosexual theory seems to have more evidence pointing towards #it) #so because of that there's more than just will and mike to consider #el needs proper closure and understanding of the situation #and mike needs to confront that maybe he's never liked girls and that he can love el and it doesn't need to be romantic #and i also need to throw in will subtly coming out because mike was prodding into the idea of him having a crush on someone ELSE (gasp! #shock! horror!) #and guessed max of all people just cause she was the only girl in hawkins he could think of. and like he's just a fucking idiot huh #and then he thinks oh yeah maybe will likes boys and he's so fucking stupid that he can't see what's right in front of his face #even when will is like uhhh no?? i don't like lucas like that u idiot?? but would it be a problem if i like boys? #and mike is like oh fuck is that an option while in his head. and saying no that'd he great. cause he's so fucking gay #and he's just so dumb. he's a mess. i'd love to study him. i mean i am technically. isn't that what writing a fic from mike's pov is about #sorry for the rant my brain hasn't shut up for over a week #and then after all of this i'm gonna have to keep going huh #i'm gonna have to vecna SOMEONE #what is this gonna be??? like a 10K one-shot??? PANDA??? #if i never finish this i'm literally gonna be so mad

[josie-cd]

So I've been planning to move in with my boyfriend and one of our best friends since around December. The plan ended up being when my friend's house mates moved out, we'd move in sometime in March. Well two weeks ago we found out they had pulled the rug out from under us and they're moving out the first week of February, which means that's when we have to move in.

Went from "we have a month and change to save up and get ready" to "We're moving in this Thursday." That's the day after tomorrow. We had no time to pack, no time to save up for rent, which yeah we had to pay on the 1st. I have been a ball of stress since January and when they told us we have a week to move in it felt like there went a whole month of my life. All that time i wanted to set aside to prepare and make the transition smooth, nah. Gone, has to be done now. No "sorry this was so sudden" from the housemate that's moving out either, which is even more frustrating.

On top of that, since I've been in panic mode all this time and having near constant anxiety attacks, I've isolated myself from most of my friends Because i get those bad feelings get way too into my own head and blah blah, straight up been having a bad time. Things will work out, I know they will. But right now I'm a complete mess and need to stop bottling up how bad I've been feeling. So yeah, just needed to scream that out. Going through it severely, will bounce back eventually, for now lots of internal screaming, and hopefully soon i'll stop isolating myself 'cause it's not doing me any favors.

#josie text #feels bad man #feels real bad #nice to finally let it out #better late than never and what not #but goddamn has this whole situation been a mess #especially sice it was all out of our control #like if it's a my bad situation i can cope #but this just suddenly changing because home boy didn't care that we needed time too #like we were friends when we worked at the same store but fuck me guess that doesn't count for much huh? #ugh anyway #good to scream about all the bs #now i've got a 1 - 9:30 pm shift so i need to sleep

[picory]

i really need to rewatch uwe before the upcoming season finale and properly gather my thoughts on it but i really really like the show! its goofy and cartoony style paired with a serious story about these warriors' souls stuck in an eternal war with the evil, the slight psychological horror of being used as hosts for said souls and almost completely discarded and disregarded (though it doesn't say too much about this, this is more my overthinking), the steampunk elements, the character designs, the voice acting... all of it. despite that i still have some irks with it, like the pacing. this show would've definitely benefited from having more episodes. for such a story heavy show 10 episodes doesn't feel enough. it worked with primal, genndy tartakovsky's previous show, because there was little to no dialogue there. it did an excellent job at making the viewer understand what was happening with mere facial expressions. but uwe characters have a lot to say, a lot to work out between each other. and it's clear tartakovsky wants to tell more. they need more episodes to do that. i hope the show gets renewed for a second season. i need everything that i'm extremely confused about to be addressed and cleared up

#the whole emmalinda thing! she's both of them and neither of them! which woman is taking the centre stage? #it's confusing. everyone calls her melinda. but she's not really herself #everytime she looks at her reflection emma's there instead. so emma is still in the ''backseat'' #this emmalinda has both of the women's memories #she's an enigma to me #dimitri while heavily influencing edred's behavior is just. not there. chilling the background. rolling with whatever (free him 💔) #alfie and seng? i have no fucking idea half the time. they're like emmalinda to me #this whole thing is so confusing.... we need to see the other hosts shining through more. not just emma. just a bit. please. for my sanity #i don't care for the romance. at least now that they are they way they are. emmalinda isn't just one person #so her being pinned with either edred or winston doesn't feel right to me. ''is she into edred? is she into winston?'' #yes and no! no and yes! she's two people!!!!! it's complicated!!!!!!!! forget the romance #it's fair to question their relationships status though considering everything (edred and melinda were lovers for eternity; #emma and winston were about to get married) #but man. whatever #WHY IS THE ELF KINGDOM JUST A FEW KILOMETERS AWAY FROM THE MAIN CITY. why are the elves that edred knew still alive #do they just live that long what the fuck #aelwulf is just going to be stuck pretending to be his brother for the rest of his life huh. that's fucked up. are they not gonna notice #this is a rambling mess isn't it. it's rare for me to go off like this in public i think. i usually keep that all in my head

[hecksupremechips]

I think why Shinjiro not getting to live in the male protagonist version of the story is such a dealbreaker for me (other than the fact that he’s my favorite character) is that it just kinda fucking sucks that the memento mori theme is being applied to a guy who’s deeply suicidal. Like yes, it’s a tragedy that someone so kind and loving dies without a second chance. Yes, it’s true that pushing people away and drugging yourself to death is a poor way of spending your life and that if Shinjiro decides he wants to live after all, he’s still gonna get hit with the repercussions of his actions and die anyways. I get that. But it just sucks so bad that they chose to do this with someone who’s actively suicidal and instead of really acknowledging his depression properly they just kill him off. And then when a version of the story exists where he gets to have a happy ending, they try to make you forget it and stick to the version where he dies. Cuz idk, caring about the wellbeing of your suicidal friend is just too goddamn gay for atlus to handle lol. It just rubs me such the wrong way as someone who relates pretty heavily to the mental health struggles and personality of Shinji that his death is something that’s so wanted by atlus aaaaa

#persona #shinjiro aragaki #this is kinda difficult to talk about and its probably controversial idk #like i get its a tragedy but my god cant atlus just handle their mentally ill and traumatized characters better 😵‍💫 #especially since theres a version of the story where he lives and its just significantly better??? #this obviously isnt the only problem that’s gonna happen with reload (kotone 😭) but its a big one #also since theyre not doing his social link either its just like wow so yall just really wanna screw him over huh #there’s probably a whole essay i could write about why shinji living doesnt defy the theme but honestly? #fuck the theme of its gotta kill him off lol i dont care p3 is already such a mess story wise #like strega being the villains is sooooooo 😟 #suicidal fans deserve the happy ending for the one character that they relate to #i genuinely dont think i can play a version of the story where he dies and i hate how the male protag route is treated as the true canon #i feel very strongly about this its a definite dealbreaker for me #i dont expect this to be the most agreeable opinion but please at least understand why people hate shinji dying #and how its in particular treated as good writing

[wriochilde]

ok.

#wjatevr. i dont care #no actually i do care. its about morishige how can i not care #i saw a very interesting take on why morishige chases yuka (not the tutorial idea. thats also interesting though) #something about how he was protecting her and he was never going to harm her #and i was like huh. maybe i misunderstood because i played the game when i was 11 #and then i realized i literally played it last week #i cant help but disagree? yeah he wasnt planning on hurting her. it makes the whole chase scene very funny especially if you get caught #he keeps repeating the same thing and me and my sister joke about it all the time lol #but anyways. i think that even in the manga he wouldnt have hurt her even though he hints at his intent being more malicious than in game #i love this scene because i love hearing people talk about why the fuck he did this #let me talk about the manga instead for a moment actually i think this scene is much funner there #he stops for a moment when yuka stops crying before he breaks into this very obviously malicious grin #like he was EXCITED. the darkening had already startrd to show and its very clear while hes chasing her #the whole time he was just messing with her. he wasnt planning to harm her in the manga either #because he literally catches up to her. and he could've caught up to her multiple times had he not been taking pictures as she ran #all he did when he caught up to her was whisper in her ear. so #yeah. he wasnt going to kill her or injure her like in the anime. but does that mean he had any good intentions? #im not sure how this could be described as him simply helping her #and i could be remembering wrong but doesnt he somewhat explain himself in book of shadows? #i remember him saying something about him just having fun and enjoying how scared she was #so ive always just seen it as him enjoying the rush he got from chasing someone weaker than him #because it was partially the darkening right? #im not one to say that morishige is inherently evil or always had a huge interest in gore or anything. becausw its not true #but i dont want to deface his character by warping his intentions to seem less malicious #i need to get a fucking journal this is getting out of hand #finn.txt