#that wasn’t even all of it but that’s like. practically verbatim?? and idk i’m just shocked like. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

raayllum · 2 years

Note

I feel like the owl house fandom takes things way too srsly esp with ships and preferences on characters. idk I love hunter and amity's backstory and I love luz but I'm more interested in hunter and amity's backstory that doesn't make me racist their storylines are more interesting

So this probably won't be what you expected or asked for but I'm grabbing the opportunity anyway to address some of the ways I think TOH falters from a Storytelling perspective and why I think those issues (as well as how young a lot of the fans are, although when I was 11-13 in fandom I was much more chill and "live and let live" so just shows what a decade can do in terms of fan community) unintentionally perpetuate some of what you mention.

Also don't think you're racist for preferring Amity and Hunter (Hunter, Gus, and Luz are my faves) but I do think TOH has some issues with how it handles its characters of colour, so I am going to touch on that. While I'm white. this is reflected on / verbatim from conversations I've had with Black and Asian friends / fans of the show and how racial stuff can tend to play out in fandom (circa 2013 onwards from personal experience of how people have treated fave characters, like Finn from Star Wars, in the past).

That said, I do still like the show. I love the strong found family, everything surrounding Eda and her allegories for mental health are super solid and important, I'm thrilled by the queer rep (I’m queer & watched Korrasami happen live), and I don't think a show has to be perfect or to check off my personal preference to be good. But I do think the show is... an interesting mixed bag for a few key reasons I haven't seen anyone talk about, so here they are.

Under a read more bc this gets long, like, real long, even though there’s only four things on this freaking list, LMAO. For whoever reads it, have fun!

1. The Owl House writes like first impressions don't matter.

This is one of the biggest things in the show that breaks elements of setup + payoff. After all, if your setup is misleading or unaddressed by payoff later, characters and plot lines may come across as stilted. This also ties into other areas (such as screentime) that I'll touch on later.

By far the character who has broken setup the most, though, is Amity. For example, Amity is introduced as someone who has bullied Willow for years, even when no one else is around (i.e. it's not a pure performance), and even though they used to be friends when they were young. Their friendship fall out / Amity distancing herself from Willow is explained by Amity being forced to by her parents, and understandably struggling with how to deal with and explain it as a child.

I haven't seen the last few episodes of S2 (aka I got up to "Hollow Mind") and I was disappointed in S2A when it seemed like this plot element would never be addressed again. So I was very pleased to learn that there is an episode in S2B that talks about their friendship. Except... it doesn't address the bullying. Because yes, Amity tried to protect Willow by distancing herself... but Amity also didn’t need to Bully Willow, like, at all. Not within the confines of the story and not within the landscape of the character; her parents didn’t tell her to be cruel to Willow. She chose to do that. Repeatedly. And that facet of their bond... has never been adequately addressed. It could be, in the future (but I personally doubt it).

It’s particularly strange, because Luz was 1) canonically bullied in the human realm and 2) perpetually struggled at making friends. It makes sense that she’d be extra against bullies and protective over the friends she does have, and wanting to see real change before bonding with a practical stranger (even if Amity did show a slightly nicer side at the end of “Covention,” it wasn’t an even ratio whatsoever, either of her niceness or Luz’s meanness). But we’ll circle back to this.

We see this issue of initially bad behaviour being overruled, sometimes retconned, or ignored to the point of being rewritten a few more times in the series.

The one that ties into Amity’s character are her siblings. In their debut episode, they have plans to share private pages of their little sister’s diary. This is mentioned in another episode as something they’re trying to make up for, but they weren’t there when shit hit the fan at the library, anyway. So we never see 1) why they were going to be so cruel to Amity in the first place (and I have siblings myself, so no, it’s not a sibling thing, or just a sibling thing), 2) what exactly made them change their mind, and 3) this type of behaviour never reappears or is addressed in the show, either. While Luz gets called a bully for it, the twins get off basically scot free. Yes, they’re obviously affected by their mother, too, but there’s never even a whiff or a hint about why they felt the need to humiliate Amity on a public scale besides thinking she was uptight.

We see this one more time with Darius, which was the most baffling and completely jarred me the first time I watched it. Darius was being cruel and dismissive to Hunter, but warms up when he realizes the kid does have a spine and will stand up for what he believes this. This is not the heart warming moment or message the show seems to think it is. All I heard and saw was an adult going “Oh, this kid is too indoctrinated and abused to be worthwhile until he proves otherwise, I’ll treat him like trash and ignore that I’m exacerbating his symptoms of abuse until then.” And no matter what comes latter, this is a downright weird set up, emotionally.

I’m not saying that none of these characters can be set up this way, but the introduction and how different they are in all other preceding episodes — or even when information is given to re-contextualize certain things — feels like whiplash. So the setup is a little weird, making pay off either non existent or unnecessary. This stumbling block makes the emotional continuity feel disjointed too, in some aspects. The way this affects emotional continuity can best be seen in Gus, Willow, and Luz’s friendship — but again, more that later.

As for set up and pay off, it can lead to missed opportunities, namely: why the hell was Amity Lilith’s protege in Convention? Again, not saying the show is bad or this is a bad writing choice, but it’s a weird one. I remember watching that episode, seeing Amity be introduced as Lilith’s pseudo apprentice, and being excited. It meant Lilith-Eda, Luz-Amity, and possibly the two menor-mentee relationships could all be developed simultaneously! It’d be interesting to see the parallels and differences.

At the very least, it would give a personal stake to Amity and Luz’s possible developing bond, with Lilith at the very least going to disapprove, and give Amity and Luz a chance to compete against each other and to see that progression.

Then it was never addressed again. And it wasn’t set up as a “one day thing” either. It seems that Lilith possibly tutored Amity for months, maybe even years, for Amity to be considered her “strongest protege” (exact line). So we miss out on that possible, episodic but still connected plot line (especially because after Convention, we never see Amity caring a whole lot about actual school, even though that as her whole thing in her intro and second episode). Then, even when Amity and Lilith are back on the same side (imagine how interesting exploring that fracturing could’ve been!) they... never interact, never mention, and never act like they know each other.

They’re two characters with the same theme and similar arcs split down the middle, have an interesting setup, and it goes.... Nowhere.

Because first impressions don’t matter in the show, which is particularly weird, as typically 1) what you set up in the very beginning of the show is what you want the audience to be invested in, and 2) the audience is going to / has to pay more attention in the beginning of a show because they’re actively trying to learn the rules of the world and character dynamics / personalities.

And it’s not the only time TOH does this, so let’s talk about

2. Screentime, Race, and Chosen Diaspora

Specifically that Gus and Willow barely get any, and how this ties into race. So I’ve touched on this before in an article I wrote on Vocal where I share meta-adjacent stuff that doesn’t fit my tumblr vibe, so if for some reason this is your thing, they may be other stuff you enjoy on there, whatever. I’m not gonna repeat myself too much here, but basically:

The majority of the Owl House cast is white, particularly when it comes to who matters in the plot. Eda, Lilith, and their family are all white. Hooty and King exist in what we’re going to call an aracial space, as they don’t have race and aren’t coded as any particular thing, either; just tried and true demons. Hunter is white; Belos is white. Gus and Willow are regulated to background characters and most of the time when Willow is being developed as a character (“Understanding Willow,” “Any Sport in a Storm”) it’s typically also used to further a white character’s growth of... learning to treat her better? Gus fares a bit better, but gets less screentime.

So not only is Luz the only primary character of colour, she’s largely cut off in forming meaningful relationships with other characters of colour, and having those bonds highlighted and given strong screen time (as thus far in S2, every time Gus and Willow have gotten significant screentime, it’s been largely removed from Luz, with her often doing something else with Amity). Remember when “Star Wars: Rogue One” came out, and there were discussions being had of “a lone woman only having meaningful relationships with men and no other women”?

[ Side note: as for the first point, I’m not going to say things I love, like TDP, don’t fall into the “woman surrounded by men” trope for its two main female leads, as Rayla is friends with the boys and was raised by her dads, and Claudia’s primary relationships are also with other men. However, I believe this is mitigated with plot lines like Ellis and Lujanne in S1, as well as Janai-Amaya-Khessa in S2 and particularly in S3, and I think this will only continue to grow moving forward into S4 and beyond ]

At the same time as Rogue One, there were conversations regarding the films status of “people of colour purely as the supporting cast but never as the primary lead”? TOH meets in as a weird hybrid in the middle, with a person of colour as the main lead, but largely surrounded by white people — and this is the case for most characters in the show.

Raine’s main relationship is with Eda. Darius is in the rebellion with them, but his only meaningful relationship on screen in any way is really with Hunter and the past golden guards. Gus and Willow are mostly side characters. We basically never see their families/parents (and know far more about the Blights / Edric and Emira in every way. Gus and Willow ultimately don’t get the time with Luz for me to call their relationship meaningful. This is especially strange, given that often times kids who are bullied (like all three of them are) cling harder to the friends they do have, and that while S1 was better about making Gus and Willow be extremely important to Luz as her First Friends Ever, S2 has dropped the ball even more so.

Luz is like an island, ironically on the Isles and cut off from her cultural community and from other characters of colour even when they do exist in her new community. So that’s talk about that in full.

Now, there is Luz, who is the primary protagonist (honestly, you could argue Eda is her co-protagonist) and she’s lovely and I love her. However, more than once, Luz’s plot line for an episode is a B plot or less plot relevant compared to other characters (particularly Eda). I touched on this in my Vocal article, but Luz is living in diaspora in the Boiling Isles. Yes, the demon realm suits her much better than Earth largely did, but I would still love to see elements of her culture in ways other than her / her family’s name and her occasionally speaking Spanish. What about holidays, what about missing her mother’s cooking and the cultural connotations it holds?

The show does engage with aspects of the Isekkai genre that are sometimes overlooked, namely Luz being torn between two worlds (and given that she’s mixed, it’s not like the allegory isn’t already there), but it only goes halfway. It only shows Luz wanting to be in the Boiling Isles with none of the possibilities about cultural shock, assimilation, and other aspects that can play into immigrating countries — or realms. I’m not saying the the show not engaging with Luz’s diaspora is a bad thing, but it does feel like a missed opportunity (as most of this is) particularly since they do try to engage with her on a cultural level with her speaking Spanish and writing her as purposefully Afro-Latina and from the Dominican Republic.

But honestly, basically everything I’ve talked about already — occasionally misleading set up w/ a lack of follow through, screentime (both considering and not considering its racial elements) — are all compounded into my biggest issue with the show, however, which are its

3. Disengaged stakes

So while I love Luz, I mostly love her for her personality and sweet hearted nature. I don’t actually love her that much for how she drives the plot forward — even though she does, and even though she’s the protagonist. And this is largely because Luz — and many of the characters — exist in a limbo of what I’m going to call Disengaged Stakes. Basically, they have stakes, but due to a lack of set up, or pay off in regards to emotional continuity (never mind a lack of consistency, i.e. sometimes Eda needs to hide, sometimes she can be flashy in public with zero consequences, sometimes getting caught by guards matters when the story decides it needs a conflict, and sometimes it doesn’t etc) it’s hard to actually be invested in those stakes. At least for me.

For most of S2, this meant I wasn’t really invested in Luz’s efforts to get a portal to see her mom (although this improved when we actually got a singular episode with Camila). It’s clear Luz isn’t going to live full time, if at all, in going back to the human realm. I also wasn’t worried for Camila, as she hasn’t been fearing for Luz this whole time, instead believing things are perfectly fine if not better than they were before.

Let me give you an example, and this was actually pointed out in a youtube review of the S2 finale that helped me put my finger on why it... felt weird as a finale (again, even though I haven’t fully watched it yet, but I have watched the bulk of it).

The four kids are stranded in the human realm, but what does that actually mean, for most of them? For Luz, this carries a lot of weight. She’s spent all season trying to find a way home to see her mother, but is now there under awful circumstances with no way back to the place she actually wants to be. It will also offer Camilla the perfect opportunity to see why the Boiling Isles and her family there is so important to Luz.

But what does this mean for the other three kids? Shockingly little. Like I’ve touched on before, we know nothing about Gus and Willow’s families. Yes, I’m sad they’re separated from them, but I’m sad because generally, kids being separated from their parents is sad. I’m not invested in their specific relationship (same issue I had with Rogue One and Jyn’s relationship with her father, as well). All Luz actually wants, in her core, is to stay in the Boiling Isles. Amity’s relationship with her father is on the mend and her siblings are there for her, but Luz is still clearly the most important person in the world to her, and they’re not separated. Hunter has absolutely nothing back for him in the Boiling Isles, largely, and he’s actually as safe as he can be from Belos’ machinations in the human realm.

So you have four kids tossed into the human realm, and it only really matters for one of them.

This is amplified in their relationships. Willow and Gus rarely have anything beyond interpersonal stakes; Amity had her mother, but now her father has turned over a new leaf, there are no interpersonal stakes any longer for her family (and she radically stood up to her mother very early on in S2 as well). She and Luz have had no problems in their relationship besides very brief miscommunication and Amity’s mother. Amity has hardly any stakes outside of Luz. The characters who are dealing with very high stakes, such as Raine, are largely shuttered away outside of the story — or Hunter.

Dear lord, Hunter. Which, now that we’ve gotten here, let’s talk about what I think could have aided in remedying a lot of these issues

4. Merging

Now I know TOH had to jump through a lot of executive hoops (including the existence and plot relevance of Hexside particularly in S1) so I don’t know what sort of orders came down, or mandates they have to follow but:

TOH has too many characters, and plenty of them could have been condensed as pairs into half as many characters.

I know this, because I went through a similar process of originally having a central group of thirteen characters, and cleaved that shit down to seven. So what are my proposed mergings?

The twins become one character. They more or less are now, fulfil the same purposes and character points as one another (flesh out Amity’s family, tease her and be a listening ear, show their mother’s control, operate as illusionists, etc). Whether it’s brother or sister doesn’t really matter.

Gus and Willow become one character. I would say keep more of Willow’s backstory (w/ Amity), dads, and plant magic alight, as the merged-twin character could substitute as the group illusionist whenever need be. It means that instead of only having splintered individual episodes with Luz or for their development, the small collection would be bolstered and improved marginally. It still wouldn’t fix where screentime or set up fails them, but it would be a significant start. I adore Gus, he’s one of my favourites in the whole show — but he’s less plot relevant than Willow, who is already largely not plot relevant (at least, not outside Hunter’s arc in S2) and we gotta be economical somewhere.

Economical storytelling is when a character, scene, or plot beat is doing at least three things at once, largely — and right now Gus is doing the least, as much as I love my boy, with Willow right next to him. Thus, there we go.

Now for the big, perhaps flat out unpopular one:

Hunter and Amity should’ve been one character. Like the twins, and even Amity and Lilith, they’re largely one theme split down the middle. The show draws intentional parallels between their world views, callousness, and need to be the best due to their abusive families, their strong relationships / connections to Luz, who works to friendship and who are changed by her kindness. There are also less thematic but still overt parallels, like their artificial wands, opposing palismans (bird vs cat), travelling into mindscapes where they uncover secrets. Hell, they both even have a reformed father figure who works with the Abominable coven with a shittier parent who believes in their own superiority at any cost.

Say Golden Guard Amity is enrolled in Hexside — she has to be trained somewhere — and throughout the season we hear her refer to her uncle, who raised her. He just wants the best for her, and for her to be a worthy member of the Emperor’s coven! It’s only at the end of S1 we learn that Amity’s uncle is Belos, and that her growing bond with Luz may be tested in the future. Then, in S2, she has to make a choice between her familial loyalty, ideological defection, and Luz and her friends (who will have more time to be friends, because there are less characters running around). You can even keep the condensed twin as a surrogate sibling mentor — perhaps one of Belos’ more successful grimwalkers, or flat out not a clone at all.

This merger gives Luz and Amity real stakes in their relationship, a higher sense of drama amid the sweet fluffiness, gives more characters more screentime... And amplifies everything that already exists in Amity’s arc. Yes, seeing a quieter form of child abuse from Odalia is worthwhile, particularly for abused children — but as of S2 she’s basically gone full bad guy and has already done so before in early S2, as her abomaton nearly kills Luz in “Escaping Expulsion” so... moot point? Sorta? Is what I’m saying.

It would also, for the love of god, give Amity a solidified reason to dye her hair after she finds out she’s a grimwalker. She wants to reassert her own identity, she wants to be different than her successors while also honouring their good nature, etc etc. Imagine “Hollow Mind” but with Amity in Hunter’s place, and all the weight that would hold for each of them, and for Hunter’s character, now condensed into Amity’s. Also stronger parallels of Belos’ clones becoming less like his brother (because Amity is a girl) over time and with parallels of the implied plot line, of Belos killing his brother because Caleb fell in love with a witch, and it’s happening again, this time just with Luz and Amity, directly.

Basically the only things that would have to change would be a little of S1′s pacing, some of S2′s Blight parent related episodes (so largely two until the finale, which again, Darius or the condensed twin could easily substitute)oOr, to come full circle, you could have Lilith also play a factor, the way she did in Amity’s arc in the beginning. This would provide a greater sense that characters actually had lives and connections and little ship passing in the night moments before Luz showed up, and they would all feel more like!! REAL PEOPLE!!

The only thing that would possibly, likely have to go is Willow’s history with Amity.But given that the show has never really addressed the bullying, perhaps that backstory element would be better left dropped, in general. Amity can be a jerky bully without specifically bullying Luz’s friend for like, 4-6 years beforehand, y’know.

Anyway I will never not believe in the validity of what I call TOH Merger and how it would strengthen basically almost every single aspect of the show, take it or leave it.

Conclusion / Nitpicks

Other notes before we wrap up.

I got bored with just how many episodes relied on the “Character A doesn’t want to fess up to something bc they’re insecure, scared, or trying to look Cool, but inevitably lie and make things ten times worse, and then learn it’s important to be honest” in S1 (hi King, Luz, Willow, and Gus eps respectively).

Amity’s laser character focus on Luz stifles her relationships with both Willow and Gus (as it is more or less non existent outside of a few lines or group scenes); all of Amity’s character growth is largely because of her relationship with Luz, but the same cannot be said for Luz, leaving their relationship lopsided. This is particularly true for me (and is a total personal Aro-spec induced nitpick) and is all the more glaringly obvious considering they barely had one episode where the two were on friendly / friend-ish terms before crush feelings on Amity’s side came in. This makes me feel less invested in their relationship as a whole, as while it’s exceedingly cute, it feels like it’s based on nothing but Crush™ Feelings and that will also be less compelling to me than a strong Foundational Friendship that develops into a crush. I don’t mind that development happening fast, but this was a little too fast in my book.

Final disclaimer: Still like the show, still think it’s good, these are just some of the reasons I don’t think it’s Great. The lack of a Merger will haunt me. Thank you goodnight

276 notes · View notes

makeste · 3 years

Text

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

#bnha 323 #uraraka ochako #rat principal #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

344 notes · View notes

platonic-prompts · 3 years

Text

Wattpad drama of the day

Someone commented something on a question I had about what people would prefer to see, full or half siblings

And anyway, the way they worded it was like really weird like 'Well I assume he's also this so then the only way they could be viable twins of this thing would be if the dad was this guy but if not then they'd have to have the same dad' which made zero sense and when I mentioned it they came back with

"Well if he wasn't one of those two kids then he couldn't be this' Also they said 'they would not be biological twins' and its like mate, that's not how twins work. You can have two identical embryos but if they don't share a womb you're not going to consider them twins

And then because this keeps getting worse

'How would he know about this stuff and be this specific thing, you would've known this if you actually read my comment' AND "Also everything I stated is actually based upon a scientific study I have read and seen"

(That's actually verbatim from their reply and please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks stating this after saying like, nothing about the actual topic, providing any sort of context from said study, or even a link to it, and all while not actually mentioning like anything that would be from said study sounds like something a 12 year old would do to sound smart)

And then I explain to them: no you literally just said they'd be twins, but also failed to consider other possible parentage. And also said hey: Have these explanations about how he could know these things like his sister being one and his people knowing that certain things are real and practice magic on a regular basis and also they're still mortal people AND IT KEEPS GETTING BETTER

Claims two characters are twins that are literally born several years apart (probably not their intention, but you know what I'm allowed to nitpick because of this next bit)

"I see your point but I am also going off of facts and what has been confirmed in story what your saying has no actual evidence provided from the book" (another actual quote)

So... I was told this on my own fic

My own fic where I once did 8 hours of research for a chapter and another 6 for another and have hundreds of messages with friends discussing points in it

Also I would like to point out, their entire argument was based on an assumption: Aka they assumed the one characters canon mother was made into the other characters mother when in reality it's the other way around, which had also been stated by me in response to other questions on the fic and was implied to be the case based on the differences in the character's speaking habits and alterred physical traits (why would she suddenly have those with the same mom?)

I probably would've just deleted this entire thing after typing it, but my absolute favorite part is

"I was just giving my opinion and answering what the Author asked. I'm a English and mythology major as well as a writer and like to help out other writers"

Remember what I asked? I asked what people would like to see better, not...whatever would've given me that answer. Also, I'm an English major and I low-key feel kinda insulted

Like dude, if I tried to make an argument with whatever you just threw at me, I'd fail. This is like-- Idk, this is like reading the things they carried and not noticing how super weird the left knee fetish guy was (our classes affectionate name for him) or reading the crucible and missing the subtext when John's wife has to remind him that adultery is a sin

I don't know how much clearer I can make it that someone has a different parentage than in canon by giving them different trait--

Actually I'm pretty sure if I wrote a fic and gave Izuku black eyes and a love for little juice pouches pretty much everyone would say 'he's aizawa's kid' I mean, everyone took one look at a certain purple insomniac and decided 'secret adopted child'

Uh, anyway, my point was, Wattpad: the reading site where no one not even 'english' majors (and I'm actually putting that like that because i have doubt.) have reading comprehension.

Which is a bit odd for a reading site

#they didn't even realize i was the author smh #long post #i have a long response typed up #and yes im posting it #because I am petty #also they said 'stop getting worked up' and im like first off i wasnt #second now your getting me replying to your half baked argument with that 'evidence' you wanted #not a prompt #like I said im a petty person #also lowkey pissed because this person is treating me like I'm an idiot #'listen these things have been confirmed' yeah and the moon has been confirmed to exist #what does that have to do with whether or not a scorpion and a snake could live together #that's pretty much the level of correlation

20 notes · View notes

redteabaron · 4 years

Text

jon - king of the underworld

Jon has quite a lot of references to kingship/lordship in his chapters, as well as the difficulties of leadership. He’s banished in the show to the Wall to take the black again/go with the wildlings to settle beyond the Wall again/idk tbh it was a really muddied ending for him.

However I do think the NW stands a good chance of continuing to be an order that will remain necessary since I highly doubt the Great Other (and R’hllor) will just cease existing or will forever remain at peace. The Stark words “Winter is coming” are kind of an eternal promise. So it is possible that someone could be sent to the Wall or NW to serve. But I’m not so certain that the wildlings just...go back beyond the Wall. They do submit to Stannis (some, at least), and there’s now a present understanding that the Others are an enormous threat to the living - even when they are defeated in the books, even if the NK is killed, that is far from a guarantee that they won’t come back; the Great Other still exists and may just wait for thousands of years again to continue waging war against R’hllor and the living.

But references with regard to Jon, leadership, and what being a ruler means, I still believe he’ll be banished - just not necessarily certainly to the Wall or NW (mostly because repeating a character’s journey nearly verbatim is super boring). Repetition, cycles, is a given in asoiaf. Some things remain the same even if the scenery changes, if the people change, if the reasons change, etc. “Different roads may lead to the same castle”, true enough. The bigger picture is always reached even if the details change.

“He was who he was; Jon Snow, bastard and oathbreaker, motherless, friendless, and damned. For the rest of his life—however long that might be—he would be condemned to be an outsider, the silent man standing in the shadows who dares not speak his true name.”

Jon’s feeling of not being seen for himself and only as his father’s bastard haunt him along his journey even after he leaves for the NW - this stems from his life under the title bastard in a home where he sees all his trueborn siblings. He and Tyrion have a conversation regarding that, and over time his feelings towards his bastardy change a bit, but it remains something that stays in the back of his mind. When he goes to the Wall to say his oaths, it’s nothing as he imagined, and he’s disappointed by it. The Night’s Watch is an order where the condemned are given the choice or ordered to go (but Jon goes there seeking honor and is summarily disappointed, with other few exceptions like Waymar). The Brothers of the Watch are basically seen as dead to the rest of the realm after they take their vows “...I shall take no wife, father no children, hold no lands. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory.” They do not interfere with matters in the realm, and are effectively invisible to it, unseen.

Jon’s term in the NW both serve to build him up towards holding a post he may not want, or would have previously, naively, misunderstood the gravity of (as well as casting him as a red herring under TPTWP banner). He’ll be leader, but it won’t be of a happy place. Jon is, I think, being built as a Hades-like figure.

Zeus managed to force their father Cronus to regurgitate his siblings, among them was Hades, the eldest of his brothers and they drew lots for their realms. [Jon Snow was similarly hidden by Ned Stark in Winterfell his ‘father’, and hidden from the truth of his parentage under the lie as Ned’s bastard]

Hades, also known as the ‘unseen one’, drew an unlucky lot and received the Underworld, the unseen realm where the souls of the living are condemned to stay. He was never depicted as an evil god, however, but a necessary one who helped keep order; it was just a dissatisfactory post. [Jon’s position as LC of the NW is also dissatisfactory to say the least, as necessary as it is, and his being voted as LC is pretty f-ing unlucky we find out later]

Hades forbade anyone from leaving and would grow quite angry (known for having a fierce temper when roused) if anyone tried to leave. [Deserters of the NW are executed, and Jon’s temper does spill over even when he is in command or tries to attempt to subvert authority - Janos Slynt]

So, we already have numerous parallels with Hades and Jon, but imo it’s also developing Jon for his later role as a possible king, just not of Winterfell which he associates with love and innocence. His current Underworld is the Night’s Watch and I think he will continue to serve as a lord of an unwanted position, but instead of the north as his endgame, it will be found in the south.

He rose and dressed in darkness, as Mormont’s raven muttered across the room. “Corn,” the bird said, and, “King,” and, “Snow, Jon Snow, Jon Snow.” - Jon XII

“I’m Jon Snow.”

She flinched. “An evil name.” - Jon VI

Hades was the ruler of the Underworld and he was still feared simply due to his position; people didn’t like to say his name and didn’t look at the altars where they left offerings. It’s possible that the above quotes are foreshadowing Jon’s rule and it won’t be a happy one, which imo, completely eliminates Winterfell which he always wanted. During his time as LC of the NW he displays some very gray morals, albeit necessary, and these decisions, while practical, are not popular.

The destruction of KL following the DOD 2.0 and everyone grappling for the IT will leave it probably closer to a wasteland, a desolate place, and will leave it very removed from its initial entrance of being the ‘civilized cultural epicenter’ of Westerosi society. [The Greek Underworld is said to be gloomy, barren, its people removed from the goings on to the world above them. There was a decided lack of statuses among people as it no longer mattered]

The Underworld Jon is being built to rule doesn’t exist yet. He (if we’re taking into account the show at all, which, eh) might not technically be exiled, but he might see it as such. KL is/will be the primary place an elective monarchy may begin, particularly after the shitshow it’ll see by the end - and Jon may yet again be elected to hold an undesirable position far from home.

He wasn’t banished from Winterfell, but he chose to go to the NW to make something of himself, to find himself, and he does, after a fashion, but certainly not at all what he envisioned. He’ll be king, but not at all the way he envisions and certainly not of the place he ever wanted to be king/lord of.

Jon is, in the end, a foil and parallel of Aragorn. Aragorn eases into kingship easily and is seen as a hero, with promises of prosperity and peace, yet we do not see or know about what else Aragorn does to ensure it, if anything. Jon will not be given that easy route - we won’t see a happy, peaceful, prosperous kingdom by the end of the books, but we might have the reassurance that its leader will hopefully begin in the right direction. (And likely the North will have the ability to secede, but with winter holding Westeros in its grips, everyone else will likely have to brace for impact together with what remains and depend on Northern assistance)

KL will be the Underworld after it’s ruined by the wars (with its people still there, but very removed from the society it once was, having to be rebuilt again) and Jon may be the Hades it gets.

#jon snow spec #asoiaf spec #greek myth parallel #jon as a parallel and reference to hades #jon as aragorn's foil and parallel #there may be another part to this #but i'd be a liar if i said i knew #jonsa

72 notes · View notes

energyanon · 3 years

Note

Your readings are so interesting! Thanks for sharing them! I'm curious as to how you zone in on a stranger who's located remotely from you? How can you be sure it's their specific energy that you're reading? Honest questions - I'm not doubting your readings in the least. I will start studying Reiki soon, and I'm very curious about accessing the energy of someone who isn't in your physical presence. Thanks again!

Good question, I studied reiki too :) and you’re going to find out about it in your reiki course. Reiki, is also just the transfer of energy, practitioners tend to do it with people in their presence, but they are also able to do it with the person being away, or with a photograph (your practitioner will tell you how to do this)

Now with feeling peoples energies, the only thing I know for sure is 1. Is feeling different than I did before, 2. Thoughts that aren’t mine are popping up, and 3. I’ve practiced enough that I have 100% faith that I’ve directed it to the right place. Everytime that I have done this WITH people physically in front of me, they’ve told me it’s accurate. I’ve done it for friends who were testing me (cause yes, this shit is crazy) and they said ok, fine, you’re me. They put me where they felt I would be, and I told them every bodily emotion they felt at that exact time. Sounds crazy, it totally is it defies all logic I wish I could explain it. I’ve done my own on my friends during a time where friendships were up in the air, and someone who I didn’t think was thinking certain things popped up as having adverse feelings towards me. I thought that was strange, told my other friends what I had just felt, and one of them went.. “oh.. fuck yeah I didn’t tell you but I saw x yesterday and he knows about (situation), she’s talked to him” he’s a good guy he wasn’t actively showing that he was upset with me, he wasn’t calling me out in the middle of hangs, and I only had a hint of something being off until I actually did a reading. So that was with no one around to confirm that what I was feeling was right, until it was confirmed that a friend saw him and what I was feeling was right. I’ve done one for friends where I was her sister, their boyfriend, their brother, knowing nothing about them, and they’d confirm what I was saying to them was almost verbatim of something that these people had said to them. Even the way I was acting “she always does this.”, “yes omg he would ALWAYS do that!” Those kinds of things, and you get all the confirmations when you’re in your client readings aswell, they’ll tell you if that doesn’t sound right. It’s the same with tarot readings, youre reading the cards yeah but there are also feelings that come with it. I can’t explain energy transfer, I just have enough proof that the intention is enough, and on ones I’ve done, they’ve been confirmed like there’s not one single one that I haven’t tapped into the person. Now I don’t know about celebrity ones, obvi hard to confirm, maybe I’m 100% wrong about those, idk, no one to confirm, but from the ones that I know the situation by the end, always on point. No accredit to me, it’s energy baybee. :)

Also (this will be helpful for you in reiki) you’re gonna KNOW when the energy isn’t right. Everything in your body, when it is right, will feel natural, if it’s not right, your body is literally gonna shut it out. That’s usually a good indicator :)

#ask #qna

1 note · View note

cassatine · 6 years

Note

About saying Star Wars is Buddhist or Taoist -- I don't believe SW has been created by practicing Buddhists, and the appropriation has absolutely been problematic (there can be white and non-Asian Buddhists because it *is* a proselytized religion, but I don't know of many on the creative team). However, a twitter thread I saw about the subject was written by a South Asian Buddhist who *wanted* more recognition of Buddhist themes. I've also seen Buddhist websites write about TLJ.

Also, lj-writes insisting that SW is about moral dualism while being one of the strongest condemners of TLJ for rejecting moral dualism, doesn’t really add up. IDK their faith but their post ends with “Christianity is good enough!”. TLJ has surface symbols of Buddhism and Taoism AND themes of anti-classism, non-dualism, action returning to the actor, the Middle Way, skillful means, etc. And they see it as a deeply wrong entry in the saga. So it feels like this is lowkey “keep SW Christian”?

Long, long, disgressive answer under cut

About saying Star Wars is Buddhist or Taoist – I don’t believe SW has been created by practicing Buddhists, and the appropriation has absolutely been problematic (there can be white and non-Asian Buddhists because it *is* a proselytized religion, but I don’t know of many on the creative team).

As you said Buddhism is open to all as a religion – and I think it’s also important to note that someone can be interested in the ideas and philosophy without active religious practice, and that’s there nothing wrong with that. I’d actually say it’s good to be interested in other cultures and religions, that it helps to confront the fact that one’s values are not universal (and not ~better or ~superior)

But I also think there is a difference to be drawn between Buddhism, the real thing, and the watered down (for Westerners) new age version of Buddhism

With this established – Star Wars wasn’t created by Buddhists, though among the creatives involved some had a certain appreciation for it: I don’t know about current members of LF and its creatives, but Irvin Kershner studied Zen Buddhism and had an appreciation for the philosophy; Gary Kurtz, who was more involved than most in helping Lucas with the firsts SW drafts, was interested in comparative religion, and Buddhism especially – I think he actually converted. According to himself, Gary Kurtz helped Lucas defining the Force (among other things); but they had a, hum, falling out and it seems Lucas dropped much of what Kurtz had been pushing for afterward (for example, according to Kurtz, he convinced Lucas to drop the Chosen One element in the ANH drafts, but as we know it would be reintroduced).

But then there’s Lucas himself, and we’re gonna enter actually problematic territory. First, Lucas does call himself a Buddhist – well, he calls himself a ~Buddhist Methodist (Methodism being the religion he was brought up in), with such justifications as "that’s what my daughter said when the school asked" (paraphrased) and “I was raised Methodist. Now let’s say I’m spiritual. It’s Marin County. We’re all Buddhists up here” (quoted verbatim). Honestly the Marin County thing I find… The Bay Area and Marin County being a place where so-called “alternative religions” flourish and where new age spiritualism established itself strongly starting in the 60s really doesn’t make everyone there “Buddhist”, thank you very much, and pretending so at the very least betrays a lack of understanding of what Buddhism actually is.

Still, I must note being flippant about the reasons behind one’s religious beliefs is nothing bad in itself! Lucas is under no obligation to disclose these reasons if he doesn’t want to, no more than anyone else.

But looking at Lucas’ understanding of Buddhism, or lack thereof – well, to do that we need to look at Lucas’ views on religions in general, views deeply influenced by Campbell, who was a shitty scholar of comparative religion, and pretty explicit about both having an agenda (the salvation of a modern, Western man alienated by his own modernity), and the fact that he was an adept of the “pick and choose what fits my ideas and ignore the rest”. In fact, as early as his first book, he was anticipating and deflecting methodological criticism in the introduction:

“Perhaps it will be objected that in bringing out the correspondences I have overlooked the differences between the various Oriental and Occidental, modem, ancient, and primitive traditions. The same objection might be brought, however, against any textbook or chart of anatomy, where the physiological variations of race are disregarded in the interest of a basic general understanding of the human physique. There are of course differences between the numerous mythologies and religions of mankind, but this is a book about the similarities; and once these are understood the differences will be found to be much less great than is popularly (and politically) supposed. (Introduction to The Hero With a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell)

There’d be a lot to say about this passage – it’s not how you answer criticism or justify your methodology. Campbell shows here he’s perfectly aware that his focus on “correspondences” is in itself grounds for criticism. The thing is, in itself focusing on similarities is not “wrong, don’t do that ever” – but in conjunction with the overlooking of differences, it’s a choice that should be explained and justified as an approach for the concerned study. Campbell’s preference for exploring similarities is not inherently bad; it’s the fact (and this is the Cliff notes version) that it’s done in conjunction with a complete disregard for differences, as well as by relying on an ethnocentric framework of interpretation, among other things. Like not justifying his approach – “Once these [similarities] are understood the differences will be found to be much less great blah blah blah” is not a justification, it’s a polite way of saying everyone who doesn’t agree just doesn’t get it.

(And I disgress but like. This book was published in 1949. So when he’s comparing his lack of focus on differences to the lack of focus on “physiological variations of race” in anatomy texts, there is no fucking way he didn’t know what he was referencing, ie the terribad, rooted-in-prejudice physical anthropology of the 19th and early 20th century, and he wrote that after fucking WWII. “There’s no scientific racism in textbooks” is the way he defends giving the flying bird to methodology. I don’t even know what to do with that. Did Campbell thought textbooks should get into “physiological variations of race”? He’s not exactly framing that absence as a good thing, and he’s decontextualizing it, making it sound like an oversight rather than “we tried to take the racism out of the textbooks.” Is he, along with the “it’s political” hint subtly accusing his anticipated detractors of racism, equating the rooted-in-prejudice focus on “physiological variations of race” that was already considered non-scientific when he was writing, to saying differences in myths should be taken into account? In any case it’s a false equivalency. A stunningly bad one.)

Thing is, whether comparative should emphasize similarities or differences is something about which there’s been discourse for years. Nowadays we lean more towards particularism, ie. emphasizing differences. Of course, both approaches have their own pitfalls – the same main pitfall, in truth, which is that focusing exclusively on similarities or on differences erases the true complexity of a phenomenon. But it should be said the current leaning towards particularism has much to do with the uncomfortable admission that much of the thinking behind the emphasizing of similarities was rooted in prejudice:

The problem of the same and the different has become a crucial issue within the field of comparative mythology and for the self-definitions of postmodernism. […] we must acknowledge that the emphasis on likeness, often epitomized by its critics in the same metaphor that James Tate uses to defend it (the metaphor of not seeing in the dark), has done great harm in the history of the study of other peoples’ cultures. Occasionally the metaphor is used to make a positive statement about sameness; thus Francis Bacon, in his essay “The Unity of Religions,” argued positively for the mutual resemblance of religions: “All colors agree in the dark.” Almost always, however, it is pejorative. […] Even without the metaphor of cats or cows in the dark, the assumption that all members of a class are alike has been used in many cultures to demean the sexual or racial Other. (I capitalize Other in the anthropological rather than theological sense, designating people regarded as nonhuman because of their ethnic difference, rather than the deity that is other because of its metaphysical difference.) After all, the essence of prejudice has been defined as the assumption that an unknown individual has all the characteristics of the group to which he or she belongs. “People like you,” or “They’re all alike” is always an offensive phrase. Racism and sexism are alike in their practice of clouding the judgment so that the Other is beneath contempt, or at least beneath recognition; they dehumanize, deindividualize, the racially and sexually Other. […] We speak of racial discrimination, but the myths teach us that the real problem is racial indiscrimination—the unwillingness to discriminate between two different members of another race, the tendency to regard them all as doubles of one another. […] It is this perverse use of the doctrine of sameness, applied to both texts and people, that the comparatist must overcome in order to argue for the very different humanistic uses of the same doctrine. (The Implied Spider, Wendy Doniger)

I may sound harsh on Campbell, but the methodology issue does matter, especially because it comes with an agenda, and because of Campbell’s own influences (and personal politics, however much he liked to pretend being apolitical):

For there is no doubt that the three mythologists [Jung, Eliade, and Campbell] here under consideration have intellectual roots in the same spiritual climate as that in which early fascism and sometimes antiSemitism flourished: Nietzsche, Sorel, Ortega y Gasset, Spengler, Frobenius, Heidegger, the lesser Romanian nationalists and German “volkish” writers and, before his courageous rejection of Nazism and exile, Thomas Mann. Most of these just named were not fullblown partisans of their respective national fascist parties; some, such as Nietzsche, would have condemned political fascism as utterly contrary to the heroic individualism for which they stood. So also, by their own later testimony, did the three mythologists. Yet there is in that climate and the three mythologists an unmistakable common intellectual tone: antimodernism and antirationalism tinged with romanticism and existentialism. This subset of modern thought is deeply suspicious of the larger modern world, as that world was created fundamentally by the Enlightenment (despite, as we shall see, their embracing of some themes, like nationalism and the purifying revolution idea, carried over from the Age of Reason’s turbulent finale). Above all, the romantic antimoderns decried modernity’s exaltation of reason, “materialistic” science, “decadent” democracy dependent on the rootless “mass man” its leveling fosters.

In contrast, they lauded traditional “rooted” peasant culture, including its articulation in myths that came not from writers but from “the people,” and they no less praised the charismatic heroes ancient and modern who allegedly personified that culture’s supreme values. Above all, one felt in these writers a distinctive mood of worldweariness, a sense that all has gone gray—and, just beneath the surface, surging, impatient eagerness for change: for some tremendous spasm, emotional far more than intellectual, based far more on existential choice than on reason, that would recharge the world with color and the blood with vitality. Perhaps a new elite, or a new leader capable of making “great decisions” in the heroic mold of old, would be at the helm. (Ellwood))

(It’s no surprise Campbell loved Star Wars when he finally got to watch it – hero’s journey or not, the resonance with his own ideas is much deeper: the yearning for a lost golden age (the remembered pseudo-democratic Republic) full of culture heroes (the Jedi) now replaced by technological oppression (the Empire); even the ~primitive had their role to play in overcoming that oppressive system, if literally rather than through myths, etc, etc.)

I’ve said before the influence of Campbell’s Hero Journey on SW, especially ANH, has been much overblown, and it has – in part because early on, the early history of SW(/ANH) was itself heavily mythologized as a way to legitimize it as a product of an intellectual approach, a product of high culture rather than low (popular, see Bourdieu) culture. It didn’t come from Lucas at first, but rather from critics trying to explain the success of a movie so deeply steeped in popular tropes and themes – hence the idea that the resonance of the movies, their popular appeal, have been carefully engineered, mapping a pseudo-universal narrative pattern.

So why do Campbell’s views even matter? Because Campbell is a major influence: Lucas rarely mentions anyone that’s not Campbell when he’s talking about his views of religion or mythology. I’ve found Jung here and there (and of course much “[X social science] says…”), and it’s very possible I missed names – there’s a lot of interviews and talks and what-have-you out there. Nonetheless, Campbell is clearly Lucas’ main reference; more than that, he’s a mentor figure. Lucas’ Yoda, as he himself says, and in a sense the man who initiated him. He’s also a ‘precursor’ – the mythicized forefather, the man of erudition whose invocation automatically lends legitimacy to Lucas’ own words on mythology and religion.

For Lucas, all religions relay the same moral values, the same understanding of good and evil. If they don’t seem to (and really they don’t; “good” and “evil” are not universal concepts. They don’t have a one-size-fits-all definition. Different cultures conceptualize and define those terms differently, and not only do those concepts and definitions change with time, but “a culture” is not a monolithic entity in which all members agree on everything either. For terms as loaded as “good” and “evil” -or “bad”, because arguably, not all cultures have a concept of “evil”-, there are a lot of competing definitions with more or less in common), it’s because the observers stop at surface details, missing the underlying truth – meaning anyone who disagrees on this view of religion just doesn’t get it, which is the kind of mindset that leads you to explain to people they don’t understand their own religion. But you, the educated, liberal Westerner (I mean Lucas, who has a high opinion of himself as being, well, an educated liberal dude frequently misunderstood by people less intelligent and less talented than him, and absolutely presents himself an authority on religion, myth, and anthropology, which he is not), you do. It’s a somewhat circular reasoning:

I believe in (x) god/values and that this belief is universal (people may say differently but really, they believe the same things I do, how could they not? They’re good things. The best things!)

Studying other beliefs (by focusing only on similarities and presuming it’s all about my beliefs under the surface) reveals, amazingly enough, that my beliefs are universal. What a surprise amirite.

I have the beliefs I have because they are universal, and since they are universal, they cannot be questioned.

To go back to the specific Buddhism issue, that’s how Lucas approaches it. He doesn’t give a whit about what Buddhism actually is, its values and its philosophy. He doesn’t need to: he already knows that, like every other religion, those values, that philosophy, correspond to his own beliefs. Opinions not needed, because that verisimilarity is only seen by the enlightened.

(Which comes down to erasing people’s actual beliefs across time and space to defend the notion that, conveniently enough, everyone the world over shares Lucas’ christian moral values (or is getting there because it’s the natural end of the processus – which would deserve a few paragraphs in itself because that’s related to the concept of linear cultural progress, another thing rooted in prejudice and shitty, outdated anthropological notions.))

All that to say that Lucas is just about as Buddhist as me (I am not), and that fuck yes we’re in problematic territory, way more problematic than is usually acknowledged. I probably didn’t need to write so much about it (well there’d be more to say, in fact, but that’s quite a bit already); it’s not quite what you asked for but there it is nonetheless.

However, a twitter thread I saw about the subject was written by a South Asian Buddhist who *wanted* more recognition of Buddhist themes. I’ve also seen Buddhist websites write about TLJ.

I think the discussion over Buddhist/Taoist themes in the OT and PT is a different one than the one about these same themes in the ST, simply because it’s not a Lucas product. I absolutely understand wanting more recognition of these themes when they are present, and I think Buddhist themes introduced in the current trilogy can bring about a new interpretation of the… spiritual elements in the story and the universe (arguably already happened), changing how we receive the full saga (I’d even argue that it’s part of what makes SW a modern myth: myths do not care for their author; they spread and grow and change through both social and individual forces. Myths change through their tellers and their audience; it’s how they endure and remain relevant and meaningful. A myth is never just one story – it’s literal and symbolic and full of shadowy spaces that leave room for new, unprecedented readings.)

But that doesn’t change how much Buddhism did or didn’t influence Lucas when he was making his own movies, conceptualizing the universe and its spiritual tenets.

I’d also argue (and that’s something I feel strongly about) that it’s very much possible to apply a Buddhist lens to the text in any case, because doing so doesn’t require for the text to intentionally feature those themes. The author is after all, mostly dead. But I do think there is a difference between “this text can be read through a Buddhist lens, and here’s how” and “this text is Buddhist”.

I found the post I reblogged while doing research for a meta/essay (which I will probably never post) and I only gave a cursory look to the blog, so I don’t quite know OP’s position on TLJ – nor can I speak for them on the way they articulate it all. I understand that you wouldn’t want to ask them directly, but I can’t talk for them either

The way I personally read “Christianity is good enough” (which, for the record, has nothing to do with my own religious beliefs because I’m hardcore atheist) was more of a “there’s no need to pretend SW is stepped in Buddhist/Taoist thought rather than Christian – because there’s really nothing wrong with that in itself”. And really there isn’t. A Christian inspired mythos is just as fine.

(The thing is that often enough, the idea that SW is better for being steeped in Buddhist or Taoist rather than Christian values is not fully unrelated to what I’d call the “Magical Oriental Religion” trope, and I find any attempt to hierarchize religious beliefs deeply dubious and reductive, and also, you know, kind of offensive.)

To conclude – SW is about moral dualism, and it’s not like Lucas never literally said so, have an example:

“The Force evolved out of various developments of character and plot. I wanted a concept of religion based on the premise that there is a God and there is good and evil. I began to distill the essence of all religions into what I thought was a basic idea common to all religions and common to primitive thinking. I wanted to develop something that was nondenominational but still had a kind of religious reality. I believe in God and I believe in right and wrong.” (Lucas, quoted in The Phantom Menace Scrapbook, Ryder Windham, emphasis mine.)

But! We don’t have to read SW as dualist, and most importantly it doesn’t have to keep being written this way (see: TLJ), but that’s not gonna change that it *is* how Lucas conceived it, and that it can hardly be retconned without rejecting Lucas’ definition of the ever-famous balance:

The core of the Force–I mean, you got the dark side, the light side, one is selfless, one is selfish, and you wanna keep them in balance. What happens when you go to the dark side is it goes out of balance and you get really selfish and you forget about everybody…(Clone Wars Writers’ Meeting, 2010, transcription from here (x), emphasis mine)

(This is way too long already, but send me another ask and I’ll get into early ANH drafts and Force Jesus and his apostles, selflessness as sacrifice and the recompense thereof in the afterlife, the rejection of bodily things and pleasure and a bunch of things that make it hard to not see SW (or I guess Lucas’ SW) as deeply steeped in Christian thought)

#i ran circles around your ask #there's just so much to say #and it's not the least complex subject matter either #anon #ask #star wars #george lucas

6 notes · View notes

kingoakenshieldoferebor · 6 years

Text

(( “quick” rambly thing, ‘cause it came up on a twitter acct i recently unfollowed:

know what i’m tired of? people shitting on the Ho.bbit films.

are they perfect? no, but if that’s what makes you not wanna see them you must lead a pretty joyless existence. there are distinct characterization changes, yes (Thra,nduil and Be.orn are 2 who come immediately to mind). there are plot points changed or added, from the appendices and other places. there’s a difference in the cinematography from the Lo.tR trilogy, and a ton more CGI (tho with a character cast of predominantly Dwarves plus a Hobbit, not sure how far practical effects and camera tricks could really get you). i just feel like acknowledging those changes doesn’t have to come at the expense of the entire Ho.bbit trilogy.

i am so damn tired of people in general who complain that this movie or that tv show wasn’t just verbatim of its literary source. 1. Artistic visions differ, it ALWAYS happens w/ adaptations. There may be things included, left out, glossed over, or given greater detail when something’s put into a different medium. 2. Some things that work in books don’t work onscreen (and vice versa). That’s why it’s hard to write prolonged car chases in books but easier to film them, and why it’s easier to write paragraphs of a character’s internal struggle or train of thought but hard to portray that on film.

But talking a little more specifically, when doing a book-to-film adaptation, there are higher-ups to consider, namely the studio. Now, it’s probably too general to place ALL the blame at the studio’s feet, so I’m not going to. But I feel some blame /must/ go to them when considering certain changes that are made. For the easiest example w/ these films, the Tau.riel/Ki.li ship. Disclaimer: I personally don’t mind the ship, I think it was as well-handled as it could have been considering what it was. And what it was, was a last-minute shoehorned-in decision by the studio - IDK, they probably thought people for some reason wouldn’t come to see these adventure films based off a beloved book unless there was an obligatory romance in it. Hollywood. I also feel there may have been other studio mandates with these films: making them a trilogy for example. The climate in the movie biz when these films came out was, trilogies/multi-movie franchises SELL (probably still true, tho it’s slightly shifted to include ‘cinematic universes’ as well). Even besides the Lot.R films, there was the HP franchise, the Twil.ight films, the Hu.nger G.ames films, the Div.erge.nt films, the list goes on. I have no doubt the studio wanted to milk this story for all it was worth.

And sure, maybe the director/producers/writers wanted to put in more actiony stuff. I guess fair enough to that, in my opinion; The Ho.bbit as a book is mellower and has less continuous conflict than the films do, from what I recall. Like I said, that’s fine for a book - but in a film, especially a big-budget Hollywood one, that kinda thing can be...difficult to keep interesting for the audience. [Sidenote: honestly, the way I would’ve done it if given free reign is, have it be a duology and try to use some of that journeying time to give more in-movie backgrounds for the rest of the Company, so we can get to know them more. But that’s just ‘cause I’m a sucker for character moments and stuff.]

Look, the point of all this rambling is:

Yes, the Hobbit movies have flaws. Yes, there’s a sudden romance (tho personally I am glad for Tauriel’s existence, always nice to see more female characters in the Tolkienverse). Yes, there’s more CGI, and more additions to the plot, and character changes. But I honestly don’t think the films deserve as much dislike as they seem to have gotten (or are still getting, in some cases).

Also, book snobs can eat my pale flabby ass. ))

#ooc #morphy rambles #[i was gonna tag this w/ 'tbd' but no fuck it this is staying up]#[liking a thing doesn't mean you think it's perfect and did no wrong]#[can things pls be allowed to be more nuanced than '1000% perfect' or 'worst garbage ever'???]#[tbh this is probably preaching to the choir but w/e]#[i needed to vent]

3 notes · View notes

wereikonics · 5 years

Text

The Hidden Leader: Song Yunhyeong - Appreciation Thread

@/bianxstan on Twitter - 5:20 PM - 17 Dec 2018

The Hidden Leader: Song Yunhyeong

I've always felt that #SongYunhyeong is underappreciated. Today, I remember back in WIN when even I didn't give him much attention. And I thought, if I did so back then, it is no doubt that a lot of people did the same.

*Note contains scenes from Mix and Match and iKON TV so spoiler warning I guess?

This is a thread that delves on why Song Yunhyeong will always be #iKON's center in my perspective.

Many of you, mostly new iKONICS, may not know that Yoyo never intended to be an idol. He auditioned in YG to be an actor. He became a singer because he didn't want to leave the iKON members who became dear to his heart.

Photo Caption:

180213 iKON with Ji Sukjin's 2 O'Clock Date Radio

25:47

Bobby: [Yunhyeong at the time during trainee said] “My path is not to be a singer”

IDK who said this they’re all talking over each other - That’s right

Bobby: I should become an actor instead

Host: He overcame that and that’s why he’s in iKON today

Yunhyeong: That’s right, but...

Yunhyeong: The kids warmly stopped me from leaving

At the beginning, he didn't know how to dance, to sing, or to perform. He relied on the members to get him through his trainee life. This is why when he lost the mock elimination in M&M, he didn't feel sorry for himself but for the members who helped him. He even apologized.

Photo Captions:

Yunhyeong during Mix and Match

“I’m Sorry”

“and I felt bad that I wasn’t able to do it”

“I am going to be a proud member”

“I will not lose again ever”

Maybe it was gratitude towards the members that pushed him harder. Maybe it was self greed. But what I love most about Yoyo is that he threw his ego away in order to improve. He acknowledged his shortcomings. He didn't let any hierarchy to get in the way of his improvement.

Dongi once said that he finds YOYO really cool. Bec for someone who is older, it'll be hard for them to ask help from their dongsaengs. Yoyo threw that away & would always learn how to dance from Dongi. He would stay behind to practice in order to not ruin their perfect stage.

Remember during WIN when GD said "it's the responsibility of those in the centre to grab the attention of the audience." -not per verbatim- Look at him on this stage a year after. Watch him own his stage. (1:30 timestamp)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=90&v=50I0oTg-hgU

Sometimes, it makes me sad when he acknowledges the fact that he's not one of the popular members of the group. What makes me proud is that instead of being grumpy abt it, he made it as a goal to make himself more known not only for himself but for Chanwoo and Dongie too.

Photo Caption:

During iKON - ‘자체제작 iKON TV’ EP.1-2

“Some in iKON have yet to see the light of success.”

[SELF-DESTRUCTION]

“Chan and DK”

“I’ll make sure to shine with the guys.”

What I love about Yunhyeong is his genuine love for people. You can observe this through his gratitude towards their staff & those who work w/ them. If you watch awesome feed, he'll always emphasize that he is nothing w/o the help of the staff that supports him.

Yoyo would always try his best not to be a burden. He's always been the reliable hyung who steps up to the plate when he knows that his team is falling apart. He's the force that pulls all the members back to its equilibrium & one of the bigger roots that keep this team grounded.

Photo Caption:

Jinhwan during M-ON!LIVE iKON

*Let this tumblr know if you find a link to M-ON!Live iKON

Jinhwan: When our unity or concentration is being cut down

Jinhwan: Yunhyeong is the center that makes us one again

Hanbin during Mix and Match

Hanbin: But Yun Hyeong filled in for me well while I was away

Hanbin: Yun Hyeong is the leader of our little team

Yunhyeong becomes really emotional when it comes to his family. That's why whenever his members are going through a hard time, he's always there crying for them at times when the members themselves can't cry for themselves.

Photo Caption:

Yunhyeong during Mix and Match (talking to and about Hanbin)

You must have had a hard time. Don’t worry. No harm done.

He must have been out for about 4 hours thinking alone.

And it helped him

I don't ever want to think of what ifs & think about a scenario wherein Yoyo isn't in iKON. This guy have acted as one of the 3 major moral compasses that made iKON who they are today. He worries for them, feeds them and reprimands them like one blood to another.

Photo Caption:

Yunhyeong on iKON TV:

B.I. said he didn’t eat

[COME TO THINK OF IT, SONG COOKS FOR THE GUYS]

[MOM SONG WORRIES FOR HIS TEAM] Where is BOBBY?

The members might love to tease him a lot. But you can always feel that certain fondness they have for Yunhyeong. They've always admired how good natured he is.

Pre-debut era, imho, was probably the hardest. There were fans who were eager for Yunhyeong to leave the group because he wasn't at par to the standards of the other members. I beg to differ. These people just don't see the potential he has.

This guy had no musical background when he started. In only 2+ yrs of training, he was able to hit high notes that even Jinhwan struggled with. Some argues that his voice isn't unique but they don't realize that his clear tone is the glue that unites all vocal tones in iKON.

When they released Wait for Me, he had only been training in YG for a little less than 3 years. Just listen to the notes he's capable of in the short span of time. Just listen. (3:05 timestamp)

Mix and Match Episode 1 3:05

I want everyone to know that someone like him didn't come this far just because of mere luck. Yunhyeong was able to come this far because of his very own perseverance. There was no silver spoon. There was no favouritism. As a matter of fact, YG finds him quite lacking.

But in all the years I've watched iKON, there was never a moment when he lost hope even at the time that his own position was questioned. He even found it in himself to comfort Dongie, who was younger than him, instead of worrying about himself when he was in the same predicament.

Photo Caption:

During iKON TV Jinhwan Episode - MBTI Test

[THE PSYCHOLOGIST SUMS IT UP] SONG’s relationship with iKON

[HE WANTS TO PROTECT iKON] is what matters more to him

than his own personal stardom.

It isn't a surprise that a selfless kind of guy like Yoyo will be acknowledged by their leader himself. Yoyo leads them in all things moral and benevolent. Someone can find him overly eager or EXTRA with his humour and with the way he lives his life.

Photo Caption:

During iKON TV Jinhwan Episode - MBTI Test

Hanbin: In fact, with how things are now,

[SONG YOU LEAD iKON] You’re our leader. iKON’s leader.

But I want you to remember that his humor was probably one of the things that saved #iKON from depression all these years. His optimism was also probably a lifeline to iKON when their future was uncertain and gloomy.

Singing abilities can be honed, perfected, and improved; Yoyo's perseverance can attest to that. But an innate goodness in one's being is hard to come by. I hope everyone realizes than yoyo isn't just a pretty face. He's talented and good at what he does.

Behind his extra ass, that some of you are annoyed of, is a mask shielding his insecurity. So before you speak ill of someone, I hope you also realize that the Song Yunhyeong who is eager for his screen time is also the same Song Yunhyeong who worked hard for all this while.

I want to end this w/ a reminder to all of us. I hope that his kindness isn't taken advantage of. We all know that he's very welcoming to his fans & would do his best to please us. Please respect private boundaries at all times. They're idols we admire but they're also human too.

And there you have it, anon! I'm sorry it took so long. I'm crossing my fingers in hopes that you find this satisfactory because tbh, I found trouble looking for words to capture who YOYO really is.

This is an archive of @bianxstan's Twitter threads for easy access and viewing. Please keep in mind these are based on her own perspective and opinions.

Contact @/bianxstan on Twitter

#bianxstan twitter #bianxstan ikon appreciation #Song Yunhyeong #Yunhyeong #iKON Appreciation #iKON

0 notes

defunctblogtobedeleted · 7 years

Text

1/14/17, 5:41am - can’t sleep

too much stuff on my mind. and a bit of a headache. I know I said I’d quit this thing, but I can’t. but as far as I’m concerned, if I’m going to cop out of that I’m at least going to swear off the kiss-and-tell braggadocio though. And tone down the negative vibe.

This aboutta be some feelgood shit up in here.

I mean not everything’s going great. To be totally honest I still have literally no idea how this financial situation is going to work out. But I’m sure it will.

But my friends have been so good to me. I love them all so much.

Need to start with the excellent gourmet kingdom dinner that I went out to with the smash fam on wednesday. Lucas, Corey, Dylan, Patricio, Clem, Jwilli, Spencer all treated me. Fuck I hope I’m not forgetting someone lmao. I know I’m forgetting like one or two mofukkas. I wasn’t going to go ofc, but since I wasn’t going to go because money was tight they offered to pay for my meal and I reluctantly accepted. [as much as i’d do it for anyone, I still feel a little bothered accepting these kinds of gifts from my friends. I don’t really feel like I can’t take care of myself or something, I just feel like I... shouldn’t. Because if I can’t plan on coming out of my own financial problems how can I plan on paying them back and how can I accept a gift in the first place then?]

Thursday I got to team with Ian, and it was some of the most fun I’ve ever had playing in tournament. We DOMINATED the winners bracket of that tournament. only lost one game and had some of the filthiest combos I’ve ever seen in my life. Just got cold waiting for grands and didn’t play as well. Was so much fun though, really made me happy to have poured so much time into practicing. Just gotta keep doing better.

After the tournament a whole ton of people came over to my place to play for the night. Can’t even get into it but it was great. in all I played from 4pm until 6am and only stopped because I got a splitting headache and felt like I was going to die finally hahahah... Probably should have gotten some dinner or somethnig lmao.

I was supposed to try to play with Kevin today, but instead I spent the day with Weilin. Him and a few people had crashed at my place, so we went on a mini road trip to take Decker back to greensboro. We spent a little time trying to get his phone fixed, spent some time trying to find me new pants, ate some delicious gyros and had a long car talk about hentai and the pursuit of happiness and financial goals and life and melee and everything, man. So glad that happened.

We met up with Arun, Arvind, Irene, and Broscious to eat at Bali Hai and do an escape room out at durham. Got a huge ass plate of meat thanks to weilin covering for me, and had a great time solving the 90′s themed puzzles with the gang. We tore it up, too. Only got stumped by a cd in a book and a madonna song hahaha. Those guys are all some smart motherfuckers, I’ll tell ya whattt. And while we waited for this safe to unlock me and Broscious got to slam down some Pogs and mostly just slap them around on a table hahahahaha. I was supposed to go to a party tonight that my old pokemon go team was throwing to celebrate Kelly turning level 40, but there was no way I was gonna pull myself away from those guys for anything. We spent a couple hours playing board games and talking/gossipping/catching up and getting cookout. Excited as fuck to do it again tomorrow.

But the real reason I’m writing this post is because Irene wanted us to do this neat little thing that was admittedly a little lame but amazingly feelgood and really made me happy. I think she called it a compliment circle, where we all had to think of at least a compliment for each other, and we took turns doing whatever the opposite of a roast is. I really don’t want to forget any of the things that they said, because it’s not often that people go out of their way to give you honest totally-for-nothing compliments, yknow? They’re not verbatim because my short term memory sucks, but I’ll do my best here.

“You’re the best.” “you have a beautiful smile and jaw structure and face and eyes and you’re just a great looking dude and if I were a chick I’d date you and if you were a chick I’d date you, and if we both were chicks I’d date you.” “it seems like you always have a lot of things messing with your life, but despite that you’re always a great person to be around. you never seem to let things get to you and you always have a smile on your face and you’re never a downer.” “you do a lot of things for your friends and the melee community and just people in general. you never really seem to expect anything in return and I don’t think that gets brought up much.” “You make me push myself to be better.” “I like your nose” (weird. broscious, you don’t read my blog, do you??) “you’ve got a really warm personality and do a really great job of including everyone when you try to talk to them and like in the puzzle room.” “You’re always there for me, even at times when nobody else was.”

goddamn, man. I don’t even care if it’s narcissistic to put those down here. I have to put them Somewhere. Literally shed a tear writing them down, I feel so good about all that shit. It really couldn’t have come at a better time with everything hitting the fan and all of my self image issues recently. Maybe they knew that.

What I didn’t think to tell them then was that it’s friends like them and everyone I hung out this week and everyone in my life that cares about me still that make my life so happy in the first place. It’s like... when I finally get to be in a room with people I know and can enjoy their company it’s like all the bullshit that exists outside just isn’t important anymore. Relaxing by talking and playing games is so fucking wonderful.

Speaking of my issues again, might as well follow up on new years goals and self improvement stuff.

Feeling much better about my teeth. Got my cavities filled (I had fucking TEN), got my teeth cleaned for the first time in years, I’ve finally got this image out of my head that my crowned tooth looks dead. Forreal, idk if it was the cleaning, or just talking to the dentist about whether they think it matches and then thinking about it, or what the deal is, but I Swear ever since I decided it wasn’t worth having my crown replaced again it’s looked better. Matches color better and more consistently, doesn’t look off balanced, I just look good. I really want to blame it on the cleaning but maybe it really was just a mental thing... Idk. I’m just happy my teeth are finally healthy, holy shit thinking about my mouth too hard the past couple years has been horrifying. Right now my gums hurt because I flossed for the first time in forever. Might be why I can’t sleep, but starting good habits.

Don’t know what’s up with my weight, haven’t been keeping track of that yet.

Have been doing Great about drinking water. Have only drank soda on a few occasions at all, back to living on powdered lemonade like I said I would. Probably should still be drinking more, but off to a great start. Still haven’t been on reddit since the new year (though I don’t think I wrote this resolution down), but still passively start to type it in the search bar sometimes. Shit’s difficult. Progress on my septum is put on hold for now, family doctor is waiting to refer me until I have a followup visit with them about my lab work. Supposedly I had “small red blood cells” so like either dehydration or anemia. Probably both lolll. Hopefully not something more serious, but who knows. Been taking a multivitamin daily. Been spending less money lmaoooo. Haven’t been cooking for myself the past few days but DID start doing that finally. Just gotta keep it up. Still no good on exercise. Still haven’t bought a pack of cigarettes. Smoking a lot of that pipe tobacco, but it definitely doesn’t make me feel cravings like cigs do. Pretty great there. Started goofing around on tinder again just to get that out of the way. Got a few matches, but I’ve been sandbagging this game really hard lol. e.g. I’ve been a lottt more picky about who I swipe, way too detailed about how nerdy I am in my profile, and not playing with it all that much tbh. I.e. doing all the things that are probably healthier dating habits but are def not anything close to how you need to play tinder to be successful from what I’ve ever experienced. That being said I’ve already partially rediscovered my hatred for it and think it’s a waste of time, but whatever. Not entirely motivated to meet new people right now anyway, so even if I’m not exactly happy to be swiping through a couple dozen people without matching I’m definitely not let down either. It just doesn’t feel like the right time for me, and also I totally wouldn’t have money for dates now that I think about it lmaoo. Last thing I’m gonna mention is that I haven’t been fucking with my fingers nearly as much. Just lost my week-or-so streak I was on, fidgeting in the car today, but def doing a lot better.

Everything’s doing a lot better. I’m still totally fucked, but I feel pretty great and I’m doing pretty great and everything’s going to be even more great soon enough.

#pogchamp [6:52am. never gonna sleep oh god rip hahaha]

0 notes