#that would give me the security i need

[bunnihearted]

.

#maybe if i could stop getting sick and illnesses and pains #i could pull myself together and get my life together lmao #it's so hard to concentrate on what i need to do bc there is SO MUCH #and on top of that there's always some random pain or illness #im so sick of it #i know that sadly reality is that i need to get it done anyway even if im in pain #all i want is to be in a position w my own apartment and a job and a paycheck #that would give me the security i need #i'd rather be in pain w a job so i could afford quality dental & healthcare #fck i hate everyyuuuuthing llalalalallalalala!!!!!!! and i cant even have my daily coffee!! coffee makes me braver

[taikanyohou]

“Immortal Ye, you overpraise him. He is just a child. He only did what he should do. You flatter him.” WORD OF HONOR (2021). Episode 17 / Episode 32.

#word of honor #wohedit #wohdaily #asianlgbtqdramas #asiandramasource #cdramasource #cdramanet #cdramaedit #yexie #* #faiza gifs #GOD. I WANNA GO INTO THIS OKAY. #this parallel MAKES ME SO INSANE. #so like. you have zj that's just SO fucking selfish and uses xie wang as a weapon. a tool. dehumanises him. tells him he has to focus and #remain on task all that bullshit. like. he gives NO thought to xie wang and his needs and wants. #and he KNOWS xie wang LONGS for CRAVES to feel belonged and he uses that to LURE him in. gives him such a false sense of security. #rewards him like how you would clean your weapon and polish it after using it so that it's ready to be used again. #and then. AND THEN. oh OH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. you have yexie. MY BELOVED YEXIE. #you have ye baiyi that YES may be overegging the pudding here BUT he also is a man who does not have time for small talk #he will give credit where credit is due and it doesnt make him feel any less for doling out praise when it is deserved. #and the WAY he says how the SAME THING that zj HATES in xie wang is THE SAME THING that yby praises. #like yby KNOWS just how CLEVER and SMART and GOOD xw is. how LETHAL he is. and i just think they both make SUCH a good team together. #yby doesnt dehumanise xw. doesnt strip him off his humane qualities or his wants and needs. #he recognises them he VALUES them. #and. my GOD. the LOOK on xw's FACE in both scenes. THE DIFFERENCE. #the WAY he is SO taken aback my yby PRAISING HIM in public. how zj COULD NEVER DO SO. #and even THEN zj is all 'oh immortal ye! he's just a CHILD! dont praise him so much!' like. FFS. #FFS!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP. SHUT UPPPPPP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! #just bc YOU never do. just bc you dont even have the BALLS to do so. FUCK OFFFFFFFFF. #anywaaaaay YEXIE? REMAIN SUPREME THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[serpulalacrymans]

//SO! Was thinking a little bit about my muse portrayal. I think I've grown too comfortable playing Lawrence... Submissively. I think I write him far too soft. He doesn't bare his teeth enough, and while I like playing him gentle, I have to admit I have been slacking quite a bit in giving him that sharp edge he has. I've never been very good at balancing soft but cynical, but this is something I will be trying to correct from this point onward.

#//It just gets a little bit too “THINK HARD NOW” for me sometimes #//Knowing he would try to appeal to his friends or try to play nice to keep the attention he so desires #//Yet would also go out of his way to secure his comfort zones and stand his ground- THIS is what I've been lacking on. #//I haven't been giving him that eagerness to remain comfortable. I haven't made him selfish enough. #//We can look forward to some muse molding. Thanks for understanding !! #ooc #screamo-mun #//I often forget he's.. YOU KNOW. Unforgiving in his actions. #//He's just as much a freak as Ren or dare I say Strade is #//I need to implement this in less “silly but creepy as fuck” ways and more “harmful and threatening” ways. #//IDK. WRITING IT OUT HELPS ME GRASP IT. ENJOY ME SCREAMING INTO THE VOID !!

[starbuck]

the thing is, i know realistically that full time jobs take up a lot of people’s time, but that’s also hard for me to put in perspective while working full time AND doing school AND volunteering a bunch. Like. i very literally have no free time right now and the idea of ONLY working 40 hours a week sounds so luxurious to me… Like. imagine if work (that stayed at work) was my ONLY responsibility… if i could just come home and lounge?? unfair. obscene, even.

#i would be SO much more chill and get sooooo much reading done! #maybe i could even watch a show or something???? #but nooooooooo #gotta work work work all day long #at least i’m getting enough sleep #early bedtimes ARE something i’ve stuck to #could i be getting more done if i stayed up later? sure. #but it’d be lower quality and i’d be even LESS coherent for it #so it’s much better to get the sleep #maybe in 2029 i will know peace… (planning to finish my Master’s degree by 2028 at the latest) #just give me a secure full-time job with benefits and NOTHING ELSE #i’ll keep volunteering as much as i can but like. i just need DOWNTIME… literally ANY would be great #i had 101 assignments due in eight weeks this semester - that is fucking CRIMINAL #LET ME LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE 😭😭

[cryptvokeeper]

I think haunted museums are an underutilized concept

you take so many personal objects from peoples final resting places, at least SOME of that shit is gonna be haunted or cursed.

Night at the museum is the closest we as a society have come to a museum horror story and that’s a damn shame

#Give me a horror story in a museum #give me a theme abt the real horror being the way museums steal sacred or personal objects from their cultures #Give me a museum that knows it’s artifacts are malicious and killing security guards but they’d rather die than give up their status #I was gonna say movie but honestly make it an indie horror game #Fnaf doesn’t get a monopoly on security guard protagonists #Also cuz it’s be cool to run around a museum after dark #Recreate the entire British museum in blender and then make it spooky #I’m imagining a sort of walk around experience where you can read the plaques for different exhibits #And the plaques get more fucked up over the course of the night #Talking about how many people died to get it here or how a persons spirit is screaming for this to be returned #Idk what the gameplay would be maybe something a bit amnesia-esque #No weapon more of a run around and hide #Collecting key cards or codes you need to get to different areas and escape #I’ve never actually wanted to to make a video game but now I’m tempted nooooo #Ugh that’s be so much work #And yet #I’m thinking about all the statues with missing hands and heads and noses #Body horror potential #Museums are so big and twisty they’d be amazing

[thatgirlonstage]

If “aim for my mouth, but shoot past my ear” somehow comes back in season 3 but in a serious context of needing to fake either Aziraphale or Crowley’s death or something like that I am going to be running around in circles yowling like a cat

#good omens #give me the fuckin. them outsmarting their enemies bc they know each other so damn well. that thing. gimme. #god I felt INSANE watching that scene the homoerotic tension is absolutely buckwild #it’s so funny bc like. they didn’t have to do that. they really didn’t. #at literally any moment they could have Just Fuckin Left #would they have had a bunch of humans pissed at them? sure #but what are the humans gonna do about it? #azi didn’t need to like. ensure his magician job security. #but. you see. they’re stupid (affectionate) #and this simply did not even occur to them as an option

[forevercloudnine]

I love how patients are allowed to decorate their cells at Arkham. One night Batman's gonna show up to ask someone some serius questions about a case and come face to face with an entire wall covered in pictures of Brucie Wayne cut from papers and magazines. I was gonna say 'Eddie making a stalker shrine' in particular, but then I thought 'Harvey getting nostalgic' followed by 'Jonathan collecting pics of Bruce clearly unafraid through scary stuff (for science!)' Then 'everyone is doing it now'

This is already extremely funny to imagine, but especially with the addition that Bruce Wayne himself is on Arkham's Board of Directors and comics regularly show him being taken on guided tours of the facility....

I'm assuming Jeremiah would make the inmates hide any stalker shrines before one of his largest donors toured the facility. But that just makes it all the more surprising for Bruce when he shows up as Batman and finds a bunch of "decorations" that were definitely NOT there during his last tour.

#scarebat #riddlebat #twobats #bruce wayne #jeremiah arkham #obviously i love the kane family but it's too bad martha being an arkham isn't comics canon anymore #because i think this would be even funnier if bruce was jeremiah's cousin #can you IMAGINE. how awkward that would be for him #like hello patient i am actively abusing #could you please take down all the magazine cutout photos of my infinitely richer infinitely hotter cousin #he's coming by in an hour and i want to convince him to give me several million dollars #so it would be great if it didn't look like all the serial killers in maximum security are psychosexually obsessed with him #although HEY... bruce is an arkham in the 2022 movie #matthew reeves PLEASE introduce jeremiah in the next one. i need to see this dynamic happen in real time

[wulfhalls]

I'm sorry but the HOTTEST scene with dameon surprisingly wasn't him chopping off vaemonds head but being the alpha and stepping in between jace & almond. Not allowing anyone to touch his wife & kids. When I tell you how many times I've watched that scene and felt some things... and that little smile he gave to his wife like " yeah, your baby daddy did that" I need some more almond & dameon interaction like pls help 😭😭

that truly was the single hottest thing anyone has ever done not only on this show but possibly any show

#also rhaenyra was like daemon i need u to leave as well immediately otherwise i will fuck u on this table right this very second #jace daemon dad and son duo picking up enormous steam rn #would have been even better/worse if id been luke to make the foreshadowing even more suicide inducing haha #asks #hotd #daemon giving do u see me stepping up babe!! told ur dad to secure lukes claim killed a guy now this 😌😌 im so ride or die babe 😌🥰

[benetnvsch]

I love it when im looking at my own post on my own Tumblr and it shows me the 'more like this' collection of posts and it shows posts from blogs I've blocked like?? Yes girl that’s exactly what I wonna see :D man this site is insufferable lol

#ig this is kinda like a vent but not really im just being petty :p #man I fucking hate this webbed site #would y'all hate me if I left Tumblr and moved to twitter fr this time LMAO #this also happens to posts by people I've blocked reblogged by others like?? Tumblr STOP I do not want to see that askdjhadkj- #I don't really need to know when my mutuals are doing that come on now :// #also the blacklisting feature?? why do u need to give me the option to see posts just just let me mute things for good <//3 #in some strange way I think twitter functions work better than Tumblr lol #at least my notifications are real there and half my followers aren't bots </3 blocks actually fucking work #so much easier to tell what people believe in/stand for too akjdhjd- #someone liked a tweet of mine and right in their bio they had like all the twt factions they're in and Saw Some Alarming ones and nope righ #to the blocklist- I don't have that type of security on Tumblr ppl actually keep parts of their lives private here wtf /lh /hj #the issue with twitter though is that im afraid to be annoying there cuz I mostly just post art and interact with like the 5 mutuals Im - #not afraid of #also tags on Tumblr my beloved <33 #also no one on twitter knows im a Furry Artist Primarily and atp im too scared to let it be known </3 #im just a silly wolf girl who accidentally grew a following release me from this hell /lh #Maybaps it’s time for me to take a Tumblrer break now that the season is bungover

[im-illegal]

sensory issues one million. im killing all swimsuit designers with a brick.

#ok 2 rb the following is just my current resoning but this is widely applicable otherwise #WHO FUCKIMG SAID. THAT ANYONE OVER A CERTAIN CUP SIZE DOESNT DESERVE SECURE SWIM TOPS BECAUSE I DONT THINK THEY FUCKING EXIST #litterally all of them are so open an the cups NEVER ACTUALLY HOLD EVERYTHING‼️‼️ EVERYTHING FUCKING SPILLS OUT #if i were to actually swim in this everyone would get nipple flashed so fast it makes me angry. WHO DESIGNED THESE. #also when they make things for bigger cup sizes they NEVER CONSIDER HOW MUCH THE STRAPS. ARE IMPACTED. #like the straps arent supposed to be doing some heavy lifting which they do INTO YOUR SKIN #not at ALL NO WAY (sarcasm one million. the straps have furled themselves into a rope and its giving me rope burn) #one fucking day im going to say fuck all my hobbies just to become a fashion designer for TWO PEOPLE: PEOPLE WHO NEED STOMPY PLATFORMS #FOR WIDE FEET AND SWIMSUITS FOR PEOPLE WITH LARGER CUP SIZES. GOING TO WAR FOR THESE PEOPLE #anyways. 💫💕

[sysig]

Ughhhhhhh

#I just......wanted to work on some new video editing techniques.......... #Spoiler: It went........so fucking bad lol #Like restart my computer because it basically stopped functioning bad #That seems like a non sequitor but believe me getting from A to Z was an awful ordeal #I've been curious for a while if I could sync up my footage to the audio - y'know cut the video up in time with the music! Classic #Normally I'd fall back on WMM but it has this annoying desync glitch(?) where it renders everything correctly but previews it out of time #So trying to line up the visuals to the audio - well I have to restart and listen through everything so far for it to align properly :/ #Lightworks is being a bitch as well - I guess it just stopped?? having a feature that it had a couple years ago that controls clip length #So I get random-length clips! That I can't stretch or extend! Y'know - The Thing I need to do! #I also tried Openshot and by about the point the advice had me changing my security settings I noped out #Literally would crash if I tried to import one (1) .png >:P #And I'm not about to give my info to Yet Another freeware like DaVinci Resolve since it went So Well with Lightworks #Didn't stop me from downloading and installing the wrong version for like an hour which Greatly lagged out my computer #And then as said it was the wrong version even if I did have access to it so I wouldn't be able to use it anyway! #How come we have such good opensource video capture and streaming software like OBS #And like LibreOffice for word processing and Audacity for audio and just - so many good opensource programs! #But video editing is a step too far #Ugh #Today's been a wash >:/ #At least my uptime is all shiny sparkly new for streaming maybe tomorrow lol #I dunno it depends on how sleep goes - y'know how it is after being frustrated for so long #I really wanted to! I wanted to do a lot of things >:( #I'll see how it all goes #Guess I'm going back to WMM - ugh - once I've properly cooled down and Actually Prepared for the slog #If anyone has any video editing software recommendations I am all ears tho #Obviously not any of the ones mentioned here as they Did Not Work lol #I just want........an intuitive place where I can drag-and-drop images and be able to crop their length up or down to the audio #Hell I'll take a patch for the desync if such a thing exists lol - looks like it's been a problem for like 10 years! Hgg #I just want to Make Thing In Head happen! It is not a lack of will! I am 100% blaming my tools on this one lol #I'm an amateur video editor I have the right to be whiny! I want a tool that isn't hell to operate! JFLHFJKLFHIOSEJF Anyway lol

[ironysgrace]

I’ve never wanted to fight a child so badly- Me immediately after interacting with any child

#I want a fair and just world for every child #I want them fed clothed schooled and loved in all the ways that caters to their specific needs and interests #so they can grow to be well adjusted secure clever passionate people #I also hate them with every fiber of my being #like why on Jesuses pimpled backside would I *want* to watch anyone sing the alphabet wrong and while they do a shitty kick hop thing??? #I will feed you to a bear if you don’t get your mystery grime coved hands out of my face #but also yes I would love another cup of fake tea while Cinderella has me on hold #after that I would be more than glad to help you do a puzzle and practice rhyming words #because it’s not your fault you’re an overgrown parasite and you deserve to feel seen & wanted & cared for #even if your presence fills me with the rage of a thousand suns #I will greet you with kindness and compassion #for that is the duality of humankind #those who would benefit the most from our compassion will always be those the most tiring to give it too

[andthebeanstalk]

"Oh, Jack. You silly boi. You know that help at the top of the stairs is no help at all."

---

Art piece i may delete later about my parents offering money to me and my sisters to pay for either grad school (a thing I don't want and can't do with my disability) or my wedding (also a thing I don't need/want), but not for anything that would actually help me escape poverty and find stable housing and income.

Like, I recognize the privilege of being able to complain that my parents have offered me a bunch of money but in the wrong way.

But also if that money is on top of a flight of stairs that I can't climb (but my sisters can), then I haven't really been offered money, so much as I have watched money I need be placed somewhere I can't reach it. Which tbh feels worse than if it was never mentioned to me in the first place.

I was gonna send this art to them and i wrote this big long message to go with it, but then I decided to wait until my therapy session on Tuesday to talk it thru with her first, since I've literally never regretted doing that.

Besides, both of my parents are lawyers and right now they're providing me and my friends with a lot of free legal advice about this property we're trying to buy together, so I don't want to rock the boat currently.

I just wish I knew if I had access to that money as a poor person in need of stable housing and quality disability care, and I wish my parents weren't world-class hLepers who have a long and triggering history of engaging me in rigorous debate about the kind of help I should be allowed to receive from them as a disabled person.

Nothing like having to provide an argument that would hold up in court every time I'm sick and need help! Love that! Love that I can't even talk about money with them now without having invasive thoughts about it for days to come due to past incidences in which this repeated behavior of theirs literally endangered my life!!

Not like I need that mental capacity for working on the largest and most exciting opportunity of my life that also happens to line up with my hopes and dreams for the future!! It's fine!! What do I even need mental capacity for anyway?????

This wouldn't even be the first time this little Distrust Fund has caused problems for my relationship with my parents. They are very opposed to that money being used to help my disability and it has caused PROBLEMS for us that we have never quite recovered from.

It's just difficult to be reminded that although our relationship has gotten better (mostly thanks to me setting boundaries), that doesn't mean they now actually believe what I need for my disability when I tell them.

They really do love me, and they have only ever acted with the best of intentions . But good intentions cease to matter when the impact is harmful and repeated. And they have proven to be repeatedly incapable of providing non-ableist support for me again and again and again. They've even genuinely tried to learn; and sometimes it really seems like my mom has made progress with her therapist (who is disabled), but who knows when I can so jarringly be reminded of how quickly that toxic ableist thinking can show its ugly face.

It's so clear to me and they don't even know it's there.

It feels like I'm in a horror movie when I try to get them to understand their own ableism, and that is a good good sign that I may want to consider an approach that minimizes my mental damage instead. Even if it means I don't get their stupid, deeply-conditional-and-yet-the-conditions-are-SO-vague-and-they-won't-admit-it money.

#original #diary #ableism #ableism cw #if they actually trusted me they'd just give me the fucking money but WHATEVER #maybe it's cause of all those times i was really reckless and irresponsible with money-- OH WAIT. THAT HAS LITERALLY NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED #I GRADUATED BUSINESS SCHOOL WITH HONORS AND HAVE NEVER HAD ISSUES WITH OVER-SPENDING #maybe they subconsciously think I'm stupid w money bc I'm poor. but i doubt my sisters could just get the whole lump sum either. #I HAVE BEEN LIVING FRUGALLY MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE YOU BASTARDS #I would say there's a 5% chance they pleasantly surprise me but I have to be careful not to spend too much energy on it #the invasive thoughts around my family's ableism are super aggressive and constant when they start #and so i would rather have no help than that stinky-ass hLep that hurts my brain and heart so bad for days after #hLep #anyway i don't want their help paying for a wedding bc i am housing insecure with no income and so is my wife #and besides that wedding planning is hard and stressful and involves either including or snubbing relatives i don't like #so like if you offer me thousands of dollars i would be like Great! More savings means more safety and security! #i would NOT be like Okay time to spend $2000 on fucking flowers I have SHIT GOING ON #if i have a wedding then the cost will be the cost of pizza for all the guests. #also govt says i can't get married or i lose my disability payments so ryan and I just decided we are married years ago #i need SO much disability care equipment that i don't have and i am unable to hold a standard full time job #but yeah sure maybe I'll go get another DEGREE despite my interests being completely non academic. fuck OFF. #i have been writing or making art about this all evening this is not how I wanted to spend the evening it is past 4am #hopefully this processing and drawing and journaling will allow me to remove this issue from the very forefront of my mind #it's a careful line to walk between processing and obsessing. but good processing helps you stop obsessing #hopefully I can save some of the more painful parts of this for therapy so I can focus on other stuff for the next couple days #listen if interacting with someone in a certain way makes you feel like you're in a horror movie then something needs to change #and sometimes the change is that we need to make literal and emotional distance between us and those people bc they aren't learning #okay okay time for edibles and a shower i fuckin earned it and even if i didn't I can do whatever I fucking want 👌 #and also I deserve nice things by default #and so do you

[koroleva-nazyalensky]

Me every time I watch Andor’s title sequence

#to quote Nicholas Jonas #I really like it when the moon looks like a toenail #star wars #andor #Finally got to sit down and watch the first three episodes #I maintain that they could have been condensed into one and that the security guards going after him felt like mall cops #being sent out to war #but hey I like Diego Luna #and I'm fairly invested in the mining incident that put all those kids in a lord of the flies situation #they're going to have to try harder to make me care about the space version of gabe from the office #but I will say he does give off the brown nosing vibe that one needs to get promoted to someone vader would choke on a bad day #anyways here's a silly little meme about how the symbol for andor looks like a little moon for a few seconds every episode #jenna rambles #andor series #cassian andor #Diego Luna #Star Wars memes

[gibbearish]

ALSO IRT THE MOVIES LORE BEING DIFFERENT LIKE. idk how ppl are looking at a different canon as a bad thing rather than an opportunity to gather new information, like "what would this character do if xyz had happened" tells you so much stuff about that character !! for instance we can use mike's relationship with abby in this movie as a jumping off point to explore more about what michael afton wouldve done had elizabeth not died too, after directly causing his brother's death would he become more protective of elizabeth? would he push her away thinking himself to be the danger? or another one, another post pointed out that for game afton the springlocks failing is fast and complete, he has 0 choice how well he's locked in there and he essentially stumbles into possessing it, whereas for movie afton the springlocks are slow, he has time to think through his last act and specifically chooses to lock himself in there as hard as possible so he can come back, would game afton have done the same if his springlock failure was more like that? or would he have just died anyways and theres something about movie afton that makes him choose different, and if so what is that? and ESPECIALLY vanessa are you kidding?? idk abt yall, i personally was not pondering what the childhood of a vanessa raised by william afton wouldve looked like before the movie, but i sure am now. like how is that not super fun

#im excited for a security breach sequel as much as the next guy but also like. a huge complaint abt that game is that its very #yknow. we'll stop kicking this dead horse when it stops spitting out money? so idk how they expect to get new content outside of sequels #or aus. prequels???? i think the fucked up state of the game lore can speak to how bad of an idea adding in more prequels would be #i dont give a shit or fuck abt william aftons childhood anyways like. 'invents robots that do murder' is all the background we really need #on him imo? like theyll be like 'williams dad hit him which is why he did the robot murders in the first place' #like cool motive still robot murder this changes nothing about my opinions on him. give me something actually new to sink my teeth into

[lilgynt]

i hate the other departments at my company so bad we’re a security company ur answer to has this merchant been verified CANNOT be probably at some point 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#personal #if you said no technically ur still not doing ur job but u know what *i* give? less of a shit #cause no is simple okay i’ll just reverify their info which whatever ur supposed to do that #first thing in a call and well before transferring #but it’s not the biggest deal #you should also know if there is an error and where it’s coming from IF there is one. like how do you know to call me. #but again doable i’ll just tell you to go back and get the answer #but hey did you do this thing we need to do every single call even between transfers bc we’re a security comapany #and there have been several hacks around the area by VERY simple means and our company has been sending us non stop articles on hey! don’t #let us get hacked by being stupid! #and your answer is probably at some point we confirmed this is a guy we can talk about this system with and give him private information or #controls. HELLO? he’s not even a brain dead customer service rep he’s SPECIALITY. #it’s just very annoying how one every department dumps their shit or shit they’re not sure about onto us #and two they’re in no way held to the same standards and do shit on the reg that would get anyone in my department canned