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thefifthtm · 4 years

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WE REACHED A BIG ONE LAST WEEK AND, HONESTLY, WORDS FAIL ME RIGHT NOW.

It took me a period of several YEARS for me to reach this milestone with my Edward Nygma/Riddler blog, so to have OVER FIVE HUNDRED of you following Five in such a short space of time is just overwhelming and, truly, I don’t know what to say - except THANK YOU!

Each and every single one of you who click that follow button, read my writing and interact with Five in your own way are loved, valued and appreciated here, BAR NONE. Spending these last few months with you all has been an absolute blessing, and as someone who is still fairly new to the Doctor Who RPC here, I just want to express how grateful I am to you all for allowing me the chance to mingle and set my own little mark. I just hope I do Fivey justice in your eyes.

With this in mind, I’m going to take a moment, as usual, to offer a few words of love and encouragement to a number of you who truly make this place what it is. If I have missed you, PLEASE, do not assume that you are being ignored. I just have so many people to thank and I’ve spent hours on this post as it is.

Under the cut, naturally!

@conn-ar - Connar! One of my longest roleplay partners! I can never do one of these without mentioning you! You have been a constant source of support throughout my roleplaying career and this blog would not exist without you. Thank you so much!

@cristinatheincredible - Another mun who wrote with my Edward and Riddler. We’ve been o each other’s dashes for years and, while we may seldom write together anymore, I always think of you whenever I think of my humble beginnings. Thank you for remaining here through all these years. Let’s get Five and Cristina together more often!

@master-koschei - Where to start? You helped me settle in and have provided me with so much while I’ve been here. This blog would be an absolute mess without you. Thank you so much for your support!

@noteveryonedies - Five’s River, and someone else that has been with me since more or less the very beginning. Five needs a strong, resilient woman to keep him in place, and River is just the ticket. Thank you for sticking by me and being just an absolute joy to write with!

@governmentofficial - Harry! A legend and my go-to for all the Doctor Who goss, and someone that has helped to make me feel so welcome in this area of the RPC. I’m still very much a newcomer but you make me feel as if I’ve been here for years. It was a pleasure and an honour to meet you at Science of the Time Lords, and I hope Mycroft is willing to keep Five in line whenever the occasion calls for it.

@baptizedbyfires - WE LOVE KAT AND JAMES! We talk every single day and James has become a crucial part of Five’s existence. Thank you both for brightening both Five’s and my own existence with your presence and awesomeness, and here’s to us being intertwined for such a long time to come!

@lefaemun - Lefae is a legend to this community and I love them. That is all. Thank you.

@therapardalis - Five would be nothing without this leading lady. He will annoy her down to the ground but he considers her a solid friend regardless, and he knows that she’ll be there for him in a crisis. Thank you so much for bringing joy and humour to Five’s life!

@the-twohearted-dalek and @koscheis-bitch - I don't need to tell you how much Five and I love you. You both bring so much crack to this part of the RPC, it just would not be the same without you here. Keep on being awesome <3

@timemilitant - #OURGENERAL. We might not write together as much as we used to but Five will always be here for his General as and when he needs him. We love you both so much!

@krazy-rp-hatter - Honestly, I wasn’t sure if Five and Rose would click together, but they HONESTLY DO, and I am LIVING for their interactions. Here’s to seeing where they go from here, and thank you for being a constant source of love and support. We love you!

@alreadybrcken - I LOVE YOUR TOMMY SO MUCH. LIKE. GENUINELY. HE IS INCREDIBLE. I’m so looking forward to him and Five travelling together, and I love the fact that we talk on Discord so much too!

@burnedpower - Nat! We ave truly bonded since the Discord server was created. Thank you for allowing me co-ownership and for introducting something that has become such an amazing part of my day-to-day life. While I’m at it, I’ll bring in everyone else who writes with me in the server: @oldshipmate, @auroradicit, @delgado-master, @drapetxmaniia, @hearsdrums, @ofnegotiatcr, @bravedstars, @timelordcurse, @drummingncise, @themanwhoforgets, @nahthekidlived, @shipwhisperer, @musecontract, @ofwanderingsouls, @sclfmastery, @rainbcwhearts, @thesidecompanion, @capaciityforpain, @itsjustkind, @deathxproof, @harknesstm, @xtimelxrd, @dxttore, @properlydeath and anyone else whom I might have missed! THANK YOU ALL FOR JUST BEING LEGENDARY AND ICONIC IN YOUR OWN RIGHTS!

Right, and now I’m going to dump the URLs of everyone else that has just been a major part of this blog, for which I am so grateful:

@thehxghlander, @soulstcne, @londonx1965, @thirtnth, @the-11-doctor @ofheroesandscholars, @mackfclls, @marblecarved, @brassandblue, @yougotaminute, @elisethetraveller, @starnamedlyra, @ccmplicatedweb, @haiilsabrina, @cosmoshearted, @sanguinibus,m @thorneinyoursidex, @brxssknuckld, @timerogued, @twelvetm, @youmoveon, @judaskisse @colpapabear, @mangledmenagerie, @mainplotters, @mtchstck, @mysticandskepticmuses, @cruciatustm, @crowleyisms, @ineffablefallen, @wellplighted, @thesunsingsforthem, @theednygma, @imperialkingpin, @imbicilite, @heartonanoose, @lilyintheashes, @aquestionthatsneverbeenposed, @magiciitself, @escapedartgeek, @sugardxdddy, @ofrxvia, @applesdrowned, @outlawiism

AND TO ALL OF YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! I LOVE YOU ALL TO THE MOON AND BACK!

#☆𝕆𝕌𝕋 𝕆𝔽 𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℂ𝕆𝕊𝕄𝕆𝕊☆#follower milstone #I mean it whenever I do one of these posts #I love you all and tysm for just being here and supporting me

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truthbehindthemysteries · 3 years

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♛Deal With The Devil♛

Gallifreyan Time Lady Reader x ?

Summary: Long ago after having slain Torvic for the tormented bullying he caused, Theta is caught between a rock and a hard place. Forced to make an impossible decision of being Death’s champion or choosing someone else to have that on their shoulders, even the Doctor is surprised by the outcome.

Warning: Betrayal, Back-Stabbing, Violence, Blood & Gore l ANGST

A/N: This came to mind and i wanted to write it. I played off a part of the canon where this happened with the academy era! Doctor and Master back then with the prydonian academy names of Theta Sigma and Koschei Oakdown.

Not even doing things he normally, if his life could even be considered normal, enjoyed could wash away the overwhelming sense of guilt that Theta felt. It had all just become too much and he had done something to stop it because he couldn't just take it anymore. Torvic had always been a bully, not just tormenting him and Koschei but you as well. From the words that would spit out his mouth out loud and under his breath to the physical assaults he would cuase towards others not himself, it was not just intolerable but despicable. Tensions always ran high when you were being tormented, especially ones you love and care about. Mess with a person's loved ones and you might be dealing with the Devil themselves. However, he didn't want to darken everything he is, going down the same path Torvic did. While the fellow Gallifreyan clearly needed to learn not only a sense of humility, but respect as well; it didn't give Theta the right to rip someone's life out of their hands once he held it in their grasp. A family had just lost a son, others had lost a sibling - ... a friend. It was ALL his fault.

It had just happened so fast. He, you, Koschei and Ushas had been just sitting around together on the cascading red grass overlooking a mountain - a sacred place that you three all liked to go together when things got hectic. It was a place to just hang out together and have fun when not doing other things, also to destress and just relax. And Torvic had deliberately of their own free will, chose to not only invade such a special place but then to do the worst things topping all he had done so far. Perhaps it was vengeance on the other's part because there had been prior attempts to stop his antics and while he had not been apprehended yet, his buddies did. Next thing he knew, a big rock had hit the side of Torvic's head causing the boy to stumble and fall to the ground, an ugly mark left behind on the bully that led to his death - breaths slowly leaving him. He had ran from that place, wanting to put as much distance from what he had done, as he could. What could never be taken back. He had seen the mixes of shock and horror, unease come from the three of you despite the surge of knowing they were that protected and loved and cared for that someone would kill for them but Theta took someone's life, he k i l l e d someone. Someone who was other's child, was a sibling, had people who would be devasted at their death, the grief alone... That didn't make him any better than Torvic. The bully may have caused hell but how was he any better by snuffing out someone's light? So he ran.. He ran and he ran and he ran. He didn't stop running until the skies went dark and everything had went quiet. Even the slightest intake of breath was almost shattering. He had no idea that for any of you, you were forced home after the body had been discovered, an interrogation started, He had no idea that one of you were covering or going to cover for him, he had no idea that any of you were scouring everything in sight to catch a glimpse, to find him no matter what they might see and what state he might be in due to what he had done. He certainly had no idea of what was about to happen either - but he felt it as soon as it came. An overwhelming sense of dread, horror and unease shooting through his entire body, putting him on edge at the darkness he felt and it was more than just seeing it all around from. Well, from what he could see anyway. After he lost energy after countless hours of running with no idea how long he had been gone for now, he cried and broke down, punching and kicking at the trees to feel even an inch of something. He could still see Torvic's dried blood on his hands from where the heavy rock had bashed into the young Gallifreyan boy's head. The damage was so unmistakable that when it happened, you heard a sickening crack. Clenching and unclenching his fists as he took shaky breath after shaky breath to raim calm and composed, to not seem as edgy on the outside as he was on the inside, he finally spoke., tone of voice curious yet deadly sharp, "I know something is out there. No use making your presence known if you're not going to show yourself completely." Nothing... just pure and complete utter silence. Then every nerve in his being stung and he could feel it - an emptiness. Whipping around, he saw an outline of a figure emerging from the shadows, the figure incased in all black with hints and trails of smoke wisping all-around at every edge. The voice was neither identifiable either, it could have been a Timelord / Timelady themselves but they were tall n all black forming fitting clothes from head to toe, even their face covered and a cloak billowing out from behind them and at their sides. You could smell the d e a t h on them because that's who they were : It was Death in the flesh. An overwhelming sense of fear but not wanting to display it out of fearing weak, Theta slowly remarked, "Who are you?... What do you want?" More silence and then as if debating how to response from the tilt of where their head was, the voice spoke. "Oh... tsk tsk, is that any way to treat a guest? my my, seems like your species is but one of many that show a lack of decorum..", the voice coming from the figure, Theta can see it coming closer and he inwardly breathes to try and face the being at it's equal. "You know who.. or rather, what i am. Come on..", he feels the being at his neck and he involuntarily shivers. Such a place was an intimate area but he felt the complete opposite of intimacy. "Death.. You're Death.", he remarked, stepping forward and then turning around to look at the figure once more, not wanting it out of its sight. Was it here because of... He violently shook his head just as Death nodded, as if the being knew his train of thought. "You know, i must admit... I love me a baddie. The way you took that rock and... " Death said and Theta winced, "Pop went his head like needle to a balloon. Tell me, how did having the power to give or take someone's life feel? Now me, i am Eternal so i can take life but you, you could have given it back." Theta violently shook his head, "I hated it. I hated it from the moment it happened. Torvic could have faced countless other repercussions, he didn't have to die." He turned away then, not caring if anything happened when his back was turned. Perhaps that is what he deserved. He heard a dark chuckle behind him as he gazed at the sky of his home planet of Gallifrey. "You impress me. Ones far older and far stronger than you do such things as that and they find the beauty in it but you... you throw away the potential you could have. Imagine how it would be, away from all that guilt. All you could do with what you did earlier, not limited to one way." "No!.." "Yes-" "I said no!" "Are you challenging me boy?" "Not in the slightest but i'm telling you no!" "You haven't even heard what i was going to say yet." Death cooed, dangerous intent on their voice like they were going to speak for why they'd came after their little row of snarling and pleading and taunting back and forth. "I know so dont waste your breath. YOu want me to kill more people is that it? to cause more misery.?!" Theta yelled as he roughly messed with his hands, the blood of Torvics having dried, he could feel the indentation of the rock from when he held it so tight. He knew he heard that crack because he used all his strength and he knew Torvic is dead and not coming back not just because Death itself was here, taunting and tormenting him aside from taking the boy from his dead boy. "I can make all that pain go away Theta.. all you have to do is ask.", Death challenged, a smirk spreading across their facial features. They had a good feeling about this one from the previous few and far between attempts. This one has real potential. They lock eyes or rather Theta at the figure, not able to make any definite features just that they had a human-like frame, tall and shrouded in black empty darkness. "Ask what..", Theta wasn't playing stupid but he wanted the being to go away. Let him wallow in his own guilt until he could force his way back home and deal with everything to come because he was not a coward who tried to get out of things.. Well, except this.SUrely this was an exception, anything would be better than this. "Feel like making a deal with the Devil? Well not the Devil, perhaps an equivalent but all the same." Theta looked confused but Death continued, "A disciple who follows after their leader right? ... Become mine. Become my disciple, my champion if i find you special enough. Live in my eyes and soon enough, all the guilt will wash away and you will come to live as me. You might even enjoy it.. Theta shakes his head, refusing to even entertain that idea, "You're not going to trick me, i won't do it, I said before and i stand by that now. Just go away!" Death remained still; "I could... but where's the fun in that? Someone has to take the memory of kiling that boy and seeing as the memory is too traumatic for you.." This is where Theta makes his second mistake, caught between a rock and a hard place not wanting anyone else to suffer but trying to get out of this guilt at the same time so he says one of his own best friends name which makes the dark being known as Death start to laugh, an eerie sort of sound that echoes and rings in Theta's ears, a sound he doesnt think he cold ever forget. "You would put your own best friend Koschei, who has enough misery with the sound of the drums in his head and everything else he goes through and throw that on top him." "You know i don't want to." "Oh, i see it on your face, i know you dont want to . but why do then, why choose to put your best friend through that? Because you're more important?" "I know i am not! Torvic may have been hell but this? He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to have his life snuffed out because i just had to be someone more scary then him by bashing his brains in. I know it was wrong, that's why i have the guilt. Is that what you want me to feel? to feel guilt? There is no point trying to get me to feel something i already do and Koschei doesn't deserve to have a memory of something he didn't do, placed in his head. There is enough in there." "One might think you're a coward, not strong enough to deal with the memory so you would have the guilt on someone else who didn't do it just because you dont want to face what you've done and you know what? Between you, Koschei, Ushas and Y/N", it could be blamed on any of them... Wouldn't you like to know who? It will surprise you, not me. I tend to be in the loop of everything because i'm always around. I never leave, im like an itch you cant scratch." Theta's eyes narrowed, "What did you do?", they remarked, a dangerous steely tone to their voice, gritting their teeth as they eyed their figure.Balling their fists in what was a contrast for a previous reason, Death responded in only what could be described a smug why don't you find out yourself but they let the scream that erupted speak for themselves. Instantly, Theta bolted towards the sound, not stopping his running until he reached the source. You. You were writhing on the ground of your home around your family who were close and bits away. Your hair was flailing as you shrieked, tears falling down your cheeks as you pushed hands away, people who were only trying to help. Others were covering their mouths and their ears, some trying to escape the disturbing sight. Almost as if you weren't you anymore, your voice quieted from the words it had spoken, 'No, no get away from me!" , "Stop it, don't touch me." , "I will kill you, i dont want to.. please stay away." , "No please, im sorry please forgive me. I didn't mean to, im sorry. Im sorry!", "Bring him back, he didnt deserve it despite what he did.", to even more heartsbreakingly, "I'm a monster.. please make this stop. Dont make him suffer on my account." and some more phrases. Who was him? Torvic who died, YOu who had ran that it was going to be blamed on. Your parents were trying to hold you back from where you were beating your fists against them, using all your strength to run, to never stop running like he Theta had intented to. "My head, oh my head.." You were being held back by Koschei and Ushas. Them trying to help in the best way they could, wishing they could do anything. Your eyes and theirs, few had flashed to Theta as he entereds and people were going to speak with him. ALl of a sudden, almost as if there were a changei n the air as Theta entered and the dark being that only hid itself from the boy's eyes were around where you were. Too quick to catch unless you looked close enough, your eyes went pure black before you collapsed unconscious in Theta's arms as you both fell to the floor. Koschei and Ushas kneel to the ground, the latter checking your pulse. Koschei remarks, "Where did you go? YOu ran off after..." he and Theta shared a look which caused Koschei to quiet. They were going to speak later when the other adults were not around. Behind them all a silent figure only showing itself to Theta who glared intensely at the being. Time passed of you being put to bed, looking peaceful which was a stark contrast to how you were earlier. Hair tumbling and body contorting, hands at your head, tears down your cheeks and look of agonous pain on your face, now you were lying on your bed still looking gentle, so fragile. "What the hell have you done?", Theta remarked quietly under his breath as he spoke to the being, Death answered, "You couldn't bare the pain of what you did so you requested instead of being my disciple, to put the memory on someone else. I did what you asked." "I didn't ask for this and you know it." "No, you had said Koschei... and telling by that mark on your face, neither he or the look Ushas gave you, told you they were pleased." "Take it back..", he pleaded, glancing up at the figure. "No.." "II said take it back!" "No. "You take it back right now." "Guilt is inescapable ________________", Death responded, speaking Theta's REAL name. "You brought this on yourself the moment you took that boys life. You can either have the guilt of doing it or stick with your choice of putting someone else through that. You made your choice. I won't change it for you just because its on the girl you love. " Right as the figure disappears, Theta throws something big at it's direction but it hits the wall and shatters. He covers his head in his hands, taking yours in his as he glances at your face, "I'm sorry. I am so so sorry." He would fix this, he would make things right and as he turned to see an unhappy Koschei, Ushas AND Romana ; they nodded. They now have work to do.

#this was intense to write #but i wanted to do justice for something like this #at every angle #hope yall like it #doctor who writing #my doctor who fics #my writing #doctor who #the doctor #the master #the rani #gallifrey #dw

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best-enemies · 3 years

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For the fandom ask meme thing can I request the whole damn alphabet or is that not very cash money of me? I’m nosy lmao I wanna know all of them!

AHDKAJSDKJAHSKDA JACK YOU’RE THE BEST

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

I’ve had my current OTP for like almost 8 years and it’s, obviously, Thoschei (Doctor/Master). My other current obsession is the Gallifrey OT4 hehehe

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

It’s funny because I didn’t ship Hannigram at first... I’d thought the idea of a cannibal having a relationship was terrifying because what if they had sex and Hannibal got hungry in the middle of the act? Lmaoooo

But yeah they’re my endgame now. I watched the show when it first aired and I was about 14/15 years old so now you see why I thought that. Although I’m still afraid I’m gonna be reading a fic and Hannibal will suddendly bite Will’s dick off or smth AKJHSAKJSAHSASKAJ

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Uhhh Doctor/Clara. Mainly because I don’t like to ship the Doctor with companions (there may be one or two exceptions but I don’t ship them enough to actually say I ship them lol) and I don’t know I just never vibed with it

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

Doctor/River. I mean, I did like it for a while years ago but now it’s just... eh. I think she has a waaay better chemistry with the 12th Doctor, but still don’t ship it. I might give it a try once I listen to the River audios but so far meh. I’m not much of a multishipper anyway.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

God. I’ve written a couple of Academy Era (focused on the Deca) crack fanfics and I still have to translate them to English. They’re pure garbage but I love them. I have a lot of fun writing crack fics because they’re easier and I can ignore whatever piece of canon I want just for the laughs

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

Guess it’s Doctor Who, been here (in and out of the fandom) for over 8/9 years

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

Uhhhh I think it was Han Solo and Leia, since I was a kid really. I wanted to marry both of them lol

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

I had to google what a source text is and still don’t know

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I don’t think so, but Twitter definitively has. I remember a couple years ago I was curious to see what voltron was about and watched a few episodes, it was ok, fun and cute but the fandom was so annoying I stopped watching it for good and don’t care about it enough to pick it up again

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

I had definitively forgotten about supernatural until I saw it all over my dashboard in the year of our lord 2020 lmao like in my wholock days I tried to watch the show because everyone on my dash (is it still called dashboard?) was talking about it and I watched about 8 episodes before dropping it. But seeing it again on the dash was actually a happy surprise because the memes are too funny hahaha

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

I’m extremely shy irl and on the internet as well but I wanna say that @janeturenne is one of the best authors ever and her fanfics are a blessing in my life; also @thebraxiatelcollection who brings awesome content to my dash and is also one of the best authors. And of course, you, Jack, also one of the best authors god I’m so BLESSED

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

Uhhh I guess I’m neutral about the current companions. They’re not my favorites but I don’t really dislike them - they had a lot of potential and chibs came up with some good storylines but did not develop them well in my opinion. I think Graham is a fun grandpa whom I’m going to miss when he leaves; Ryan is cool and could’ve done a lot more if the writers had kept a few things, it’d be awesome if he vlogged all of their adventures. He’s like the one I was curious to see more but sadly didn’t feel a connection; and Yaz, I hope she’ll keep growing and that her friendship with the Doctor will finally be developed to a level we can connect to her.

It sounds weird because with the fam it’s always ‘what I wish could have been’ because I never felt really connected to them :(

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

Ok... I don’t really ship Rey/Finn but I think it’s one of the sweetest ships ever, and if they ended up together I’d be happy. They love each other and are there for each other always so, yeah :D

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

I don’t know if I got the question right but it’s three things I wish I saw more in my main fandom? Well, if it’s that, then, 3 things about the Doctor Who fandom: 1) people having more civilized or light-hearted discussions about things. Like, I genuinely disliked an 8th doctor audio I listened once that my friends loved, and they made fun of me and we joked about it. Also once we were in a live twitch video playing among us and discussing doctor who, and then we got into a ship “discourse” as a joke and nobody really cared and just laughed because everyone knew it’s fictional shit so why get mad over it? 2) Doctor Who has a titanic amount of content, it’s all canon but at the same time it’s not, so who cares? If you want to listen to Big Finish audios and if you can afford it, then lisiten; if you can’t, it’s okay, no one has the right to tell you you’re less of a fan. Just tell them to fuck off; 3) The best way to keep fandom alive is by creating content. Here in my local fandom we have several podcasts dedicated to all areas of the whoniverse (the show, the expanded universe, the audios, etc), those old fandom websites who do serious work to bring news to the fans, people who make subtitles for the classic series (we don’t have it available here so they do their best to make it accessible to other fans), accounts dedicated to promoting dr who fans who create content, and we even have people making their own audiodramas with dw characters and writing book-lenght fanfiction to help explain the show to people who’ve never watched it, and a great variety of things. I’ve seen a few of these things in the international fandom, mostly by older fans, so I wish younger fans about my age who have the means to make this kind of stuff would make it too. Maybe there’d be less twitter drama out there lol

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

“the killing moon” by echo & the bunnymen reminds me of thoschei. yep it was totally random

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

The fact that we don’t have a pride and prejudice AU for brax/romana yet is driving me insane

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

I’ve mentioned it before but doctor/river, don’t really remember why idk I just don’t vibe with it anymore. But also because thoschei has so many different pairings in 1 ship that I don’t really feel the need to ship them with anyone else lol

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

GOD I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S SO SPECIFIC ok fellow academy era stans gather around if you have read Divided Loyalties there’s a scene where it SHOWS that Magnus had a crush on Ushas. And NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED ABOUT THEM and the power couple they would’ve made. I write them into all my fanfics in hopes of making other people ship them but I’ve had no success so far

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

The Master is a big fan of musicals and in the 77 years he spent on earth he watched every single one ever. I’m gonna be bold and say that when he was young, still Koschei, he was an artist, and thought about dropping everything to become an actor on Gallifrey. Time Lords do appreciate art, and have their own plays, but it’s just the same old and boring ones the young people don’t care about. The Master then created a shocking performance that was way ahead of its time and the older Time Lords were so appalled they banned him from writing and presenting plays and that’s his villain origin story

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

1) The Doctor and the Master married on Gallifrey and the entire show is just them having the most litigious divorce in the universe (still isn’t final because the Master has killed all the judges); 2) Ushas/The Rani is ace; 3) The Deca was a 10 people polyamorous relationship; 4) Romana and Livia were girlfriends at the Academy and they hate each other now because the break up was baad; 5) Romana writes fanfiction; 6) Romana/Leela had a thing in Davidia I KNOW it; 7) Leela pegs Narvin; 8) Brax has a life-size painting of Romana at his collection or a statue or smth; 9) Brax’s dream in Reborn is actually REAL and he’s married to Romana, Leela and Narvin all at the same time

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

I don’t even think I’m in 5 fandoms but

Doctor Who: The Master, The Doctor, Romana, Leela, Sarah Jane, Bill (this was the hardest thing ever)

The X-Files: Mulder, Scully, Monica, and can I add The Lone Gunmen too?

Star Wars: Leia, Obi-Wan, Finn, Poe Dameron and honorable mention to Din Djarin and Grogu

Hannibal: Hannibal, Will, Bev, Alana, Chiyoh

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

That’s hard

Doctor Who: thoschei ofc, gallifrey ot4.......... uuhh as you can see i don’t ship many pairings in the show

The X-Files: Mulder and Scully. And whatever Scully and Monica had going on because they definitively flirted

Star Wars: Poe/Finn, Han/Leia, whatever Han/Lando had going on too

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

WHATVASHAJSKAJSA ok this is a little embarassing but I don’t have a lot of kinks for many ships... I guess I have some for thoschei like, choking, whipping, blindfolds/gagging, bondage, begging, biting, sem-public, phone sex, dirty talk, body worship, praise kink, etc. Alright alright I know it’s a lot but in my defense they've shown half of these on the show

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

The Master, Romana, Leela, Brax, Narvin, Bill Potts, Martha Jones, Sarah Jane, Donna Noble, Lucie Miller. No particular order for most of them but the Master is my precious baby and I will die for this mf

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Not many, usually the people I follow are in the same fandoms as I am but I’ve seen some mutuals reblog some Hadestown stuff which is a play that I’ve never seen but definitively would because the protagonists look hot

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES IT MEAN

it took me three hours to do this but it was fun!! thank you bb <3

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imdoingthismspaintadventure · 4 years

Text

I've been thinking about the two biggest antagonists (that aren't a whole species) in Dr Who, The Master and Davros, and how great they both are. This post is about the first.

The Master, Missy, Koschei, Emil Kellers, Martin Jurgens, Professor Yana, Mr Saxon, so many names and titles they have adopted throughout the years. They are very similar to the Doctor in many respects, but also the total oposite in others. I'm sure there has been a lot of extensive character analysis about them already so I won't really go into that much depth. I just wanted to point out two things.

One of the things that always stands out to me in most of their incarnations is just... the sheer disdain they have for humanity, and the supposed virtues of our species.

They seek, above all, to prove the Doctor wrong, to demonstrate that dedicating your life to helping those in need is useless and that humanity is weak and cowardly and better off subjugated to their will.

It also reminds me of Lucifer in Supernatural, in the way they hated humanity because God loved them more than He loved the angels and Lucifer believed they were unworthy of that love. I believe it also has strong shades of that.

The second point I wanted to make is the wasted potential that there is in them. How much of a shame it is that they turned out how they did. The best example of this is Professor Yana, one of my absolute favourite master incarnations (pre-watch). An utterly brilliant and humble man, helping humanity out in their last moments, retaining that Koschei drive to never die, but aplying it to everyone else as well. Making computers out of food, believing wholeheartedly in people, never been driven to the isolation of his true life, staying on the ground while his people go to utopia.

Knowing what that utopia is, knowing what the Master did, still horrifies me. The dreams of this hopeful man got crushed by their own nature, their own internal sicknesses. One can't help but wonder, if the timelords hadn't completely fucked them over as a child, would they have turned out like Professor Yana? Was he the closest thing to the old friend The Doctor had back at the academy?

And, as Michelle Gomez's Missy showed, are they still within reach? Can the Doctor recover their friend for good?

#doctor who #the master #the doctor #koschei #professor yana

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casual-eumetazoa · 4 years

Note

season 3

oh wow this is more difficult than I thought!

my favourite episode:

either “Smith and Jones” or “Gridlock”

“Smith and Jones” is probably the best companion introduction episode in New Who. It’s funny, it’s fast, it’s exciting, it’s smart... it has two great monsters, one of which (the Judoon) is fucking ridiculous (along with the premise of the episode) and that’s wonderful. Also the Doctor walking barefoot on the Moon is great.

And “Gridlock” is just a really great story? I can’t quite put my finger on why it is great... it is very human. Like it shows a world that is so far removed from ours in time, location, setting, circumstance, everything - yet the characters in it are unmistakably human and relatable. It has a particularly interesting twist of people being incapacitated and subdued by hope rather than made stronger by it. It is heartbreaking but also positive. And say what you will about them but I think cat people are awesome.

So yeah probably “Gridlock” actually lmao

my least favorite episode:

“Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks”

Nothing particularly bad about it, but I’m not a huge fan either. Its one redeeming quality is Tallulah and “you put the devil in me” cause that song is great, actually.

a moment that made me cry:

The Master’s death (or rather the Doctor’s reaction) in “The Last of the Time Lords”. Always.

a moment that made me laugh:

Does “Runaway Bride” count as a part of Season Three? It must count. If it does then uhhh almost everything that happened in it, but especially “pockets!”. If it doesn’t for some reason or another, then... I’ll cheat a little bit cause I have to mention this - the bloopers/behind the scenes stuff, specifically when David Tennant has to talk nonsense for a few minutes for that video message that Martha plays in the TARDIS. Nothing beats Bingle Bongle Dingle Dangle.

my opinion on the finale:

I both love and hate it? Like I think that the writing was not particularly strong, and the choices RTD made about the Master’s characterization are... questionable, but the problem is that I’m thoschei trash and I am incapable of disliking anything that has the Master in it. I feel like even if the actual story was fifty times worse I would still love it. And the end of “The Last of the Time Lords” absolutely murders me every time that I watch it anyway. Making Koschei like that might have been a mistake (though it is certainly amusing) but Koschei dying out of sheer pettiness (trapped in the TARDIS my ass, I’m 100% sure he could have escaped the next day - I bet he knew he’d be brought back and just wanted to make Theta suffer) is extremely on brand. And the Doctor’s reaction really broke my heart.

my favourite character arc:

Martha’s, no competition.

She was smart and strong and amazing from minute one, and Ten still spent the entire season treating her like shit, even though she saved his ass so many times like it is not even funny. I get it, he’s uber autistic and he just doesn’t see this stuff, and also he was in pain, but that’s not enough for an excuse lmao. And what did Martha do? Spends an entire year saving the planet (btw if you haven’t read “The Story of Martha”, do yourself a favor and read it already) then just fucking dumps him. Just straight up tells him “hey so this is really unhealthy for me so imma head out”. Best companion exit ever.

The Doctor, on the other hand? The only thing he learned the entire season is “life really sucks sometimes, but then it might give you just the slightest glimmer of hope before crushing you completely and leaving you even more broken than you were before”. Does that even count as a character arc? Cause I feel this was made to emotionally torture me and specifically me.

#ask #thanks for asking!#season three is definitely not my favorite but boy do i have Opinions about it

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as-was-written · 5 years

Note

All the ice cream flavors

@theresastargirl

Under the cut because there’s a lot of them!

Almond Chocolate Coconut: a touch headcanon.This Doctor isn’t especially physically affectionate, but it’s because her touch telepathy is extremely strong in this body and she doesn’t know her limitations yet. But if you stroke her hair she will love you forever.

Bacon Ice Cream: a "what were you even thinking" headcanon.She eats bathbombs. She thinks they taste flowery and nice. (i am surprisingly passionate about this headcanon i’ll be honest)

Black Raspberry Cheesecake: a sexuality and/or romanticism headcanon (romantic orientation, sexual orientation, etc).This Doctor is asexual and panromantic. With a strong preference for women.

Cactus Fruit Sorbet: a "this shouldn't work but it does" headcanon.She reorganised the library according to the colour of the books. To be fair it looks really pretty.

Cherry Garcia: a role model/inspiration headcanon.Her fam. Her friends have always given the Doctor inspiration and Yaz, Ryan and Graham are no different from that.

Chubby Hubby: a body image/self esteem headcanon.It took a long time for the Doctor to get used to her new body’s appearance, longer than she’d want to admit. All the curves and body parts that were new threw her and even in the TARDIS there was a lot of experimentation with clothing to see what was most comfortable

Chunky Monkey: a names, addresses, nicknames, etc. headcanon.The reason she is so chill about Graham calling her Doc when her first body wasn’t is partly because it reminds her of those first human friends of hers. Also character development in general.

Cookies and Cream: a family headcanon.One of the Doctor’s greatest regret in life is leaving behind Susan the way she did. She still has the shoe with a hole in it belonging to her granddaughter and she misses her every day.

Cotton Candy Explosion: a childhood/child(ren) headcanon.For a while as a very young Time Tot, Brax was her hero. Until Koschei came along and she found a new person to follow after.

Death By Chocolate: an indulgence/guilty pleasure headcanon.The Doctor loves chocolate of all kind, but especially sweet ones. At night however she enjoys settling down with a bar of dark chocolate.

Devil's Food Chocolate: a vice headcanon.This is based on the audio drama The Master so spoilers for that, but the Doctor managed to remember killing that boy when she was a child. She still has nightmares about it and it’s the one thing she won’t ever talk about.

Dulce de Leche: a happy/sweet romantic or queerplatonic headcanon.The Doctor’s favourite way to relax with a partner is to curl up on their lap and have her hair stroked. It makes her feel safe and secure and loved.

Elderberry: a hurt/comfort headcanon.If she’s in a relationship with someone she enjoys being cared for when injured. Not that she will ever, ever admit it in a million years. But it’s nice to be fussed over.

Entangled Mints: a friendship headcanon.For the Doctor her friends are her priority. She’s happy to just hang out with them and wants to show off the universe. She just wants them happy.

Espresso 'n Cream: a coffee/tea/coffee-shop (AU)/caffeine headcanon.The Doctor adores coffee. She will be that one person at Starbucks who gives the poor barista a really complicated order though.

Fudge Behaving Badly: a misbehaving/getting into trouble headcanon.Even now the Doctor is constantly getting in trouble. In the Academy her teachers despised her because she and the Deca were always causing mischief and it’s something she has never been able to grow out of. She takes pride in the fact she has the record for most detentions in Gallifrey’s history.

Ginger Crème Brûlée: a gender headcanon (gender identity, gender presentation, butch/femme, gender feels, etc).Although the Doctor now identifies as a woman and much more feminine than before in human terms she would still probably refer to herself as non binary. She experimented for a while and definitely prefers female pronouns though.

Half Baked: a bad idea/poor planning headcanon.Although the Doctor likes to act like she’s organised and knows what she’s doing, usually she doesn’t. She’s been winging it for the last three thousand years and most of the time it’s worked.

Heartbreak Healer: a sad/angsty romantic or queerplatonic headcanon.The Doctor still has room in her hearts for every person she’s loved. Including those all the way back in her first body like her wife and Cameca.

Jasmine Peach Tea: a self-care/self-love headcanon.When the Doctor just needs a quiet time to herself, which happens more often than you’d imagine, she enjoys to get herself a herbal drink and read a book in the library. Either that or sit in the entrance of the TARDIS, feet dangling, and watch the universe.

Kahlua Almond Fudge: a language/words headcanon.The Doctor feels most comfortable speaking Gallifreyan. If she is on Earth she tries the speak English out of courtesy and because the translations are easier if she’s in a different country, but otherwise she speaks her first language.

Kiwi Midori: a creative arts headcanon.Disappointed she can’t play guitar anymore, the Doctor spent some time figuring out what this body enjoyed doing artistically. She soon found drawing. They’re usually sketches and she’s best at people, specifically faces.

Lemon Angel Food: a virtue headcanon.The Doctor tries very hard to keep to her promise of being kind. She is sick of being the Time Lord Victorious. She wants to simplify things and start again as just a friendly traveller and helper.

Lemon-Lime Sorbet: a sexual/NC-17 headcanon (alt: a secret(s) h/c).My Doctor is asexual, but whilst I was figuring out her sexuality I decided she would be a sub and have a major praise kink

Magic Mint Cookie: a magic/supernatural headcanon (alt: a taste h/c).I don’t know what to do for magic?? So I’ll do taste instead. 100% inspired by real events from Jodie, she can’t handle spices as much as she wants to. That won’t stop her eating very spic food though.

Masque of the Raspberry Sorbet: a fear/horror headcanon (alt: a costume(s)/facade(s) headcanon).Since being ducked as a witch, she has a fear of being submerged under water and drowning. It’s something she’s trying to overcome in her swimming pool because she doesn’t want anyone else to find out.

Neapolitan: an intimacy/vulnerability (or lack thereof) headcanon.The Doctor only really lets herself be intimate with people she has a long history with. She is a lot more eager to hug family members and old friends.

Orange Pineapple Whip: a kinky headcanon (alt: an eccentricity h/c).The Doctor is almost the definition of eccentric. Many people would call her whole outfit alone eccentric. She doesn’t notice though, and she doesn’t care. She is happy with who she is and that’s what matters to her.

Oreo Cheesecake: a physical health/disability headcanon.She doesn’t have any physical disabilities. The closest I can think is that her touch telepathy is stronger than other incarnations because they are the main sense for Time Lords.

Peanut Butter Plum Cherry: a soulmate/soulmate AU headcanon (alt: an unconditional love headcanon)She tries very hard not to fall in love with humans. Jamie was the first long term human relationship she had and losing him crushed her. Since then she’s tried and failed to stop falling in love with humans.

Phish Food: a music headcanon.I was discussing this a few weeks ago so this is perfect. The thirteenth Doctor is really into cheesy pop like Katy Perry and Taylor Swift. She also likes K-pop and J-pop. She likes the beat and rhythm of the music. She also likes how happy it all sounds.

Purple Daze: a stoner/drugs headcanon.In the Academy she would have ginger with Koschei (for anyone who doesn’t know, ginger canonically gets Time Lords high). The less said about those times at the Academy the better.

Rainbow Cream: a nature headcanon.If given the choice, the Doctor would enjoy spending the day relaxing next to a shallow river. That’s the most relaxing natural environment she can think of. Also a secluded beach.

Road Trip: a travel or escapism headcanon.Travelling is the Doctor’s life, it’s the most important thing to her. She loves the freedom it brings, the ability to go where and when she wants. She can’t imagine a different life style for her.

Rocky Road: a difficulty or struggle headcanon.The main thing the Doctor struggles with is the new sexism she has to face. Even the more minor things like how patronising men are towards her, literally and metaphorically looking down on her. She despises it and it makes her so angry.

SNAFU (Strawberries Naturally All Fudged Up): a mistake(s) headcanon.The Doctor really doesn’t like making mistakes. More than anything else she finds it embarrassing. And that’s really annoying.

Strawberry Rhubarb Crunch: a mental health/neurodivergent headcanon.The Doctor has PTSD definitely. Not just from the Time War but the many horrific things she has seen through her long life. I also see her having a Time Lord version of ADHD, but I need to do more research on that before I nail anything down.

Tennessee Mud: an alcohol, drunkenness, intoxication headcanon.It takes a lot to get the Doctor drunk, but when she does she’s giggly and affectionate. She will probably end up on your lap laughing at nothing.

Tuxedo Strawberry: a well-dressed headcanon (any headcanon about clothes).The Doctor tried to wear a dress the first time she had to wear formal clothing, but she just couldn’t with how impractical it was. Instead she prefers dressing up in a smart tux.

Vanilla Fudge Ripple: a strength headcanon.She has incredible upper body strength. She doesn’t get the chance to demonstrate it much, but it’s something she’s always had. She is also very emotionally and telepathically strong.

White Raspberry Truffle: a weakness headcanon.Daleks are her main weakness. They break down any morals she has set out and will do whatever it takes to get rid of them all. But losing her friends? That destroys her.

Wildberry Chocolate Chunk: a social life headcanon.She spends all her time with her fam. She tries not to spend too much time with other people because she’s scared of losing more people.

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aikainkauna · 5 years

Text

Fanfic trope meme

Apologies to those of you who see this for a third time, as I’ve crossposted it to both LJ and Pillowfort. Feel free to comment over on there (or my other posts) if you like. And of course, feel free to grab this one and do it yourself, if you like.

***

Grabbed this meme from a couple of people on LJ. It's... well, apparently about fanfic tropes. Some of them more terrifying than others.

I have written:

-Hurt/comfort (Yeah, baby! Most of my fic is this.)

-Body swapping (Sort of? Souls slipping into each other's bodies for a bit? Jaffar feeling what Yassamin feels? Sex swap, I've definitely done.)

-Soulmate identifying marks (tattoo, red thread of fate, etc) (I have! The Throne of Solomon. And maybe The Past Forgotten counts, in its way. I may have written more, but I forget.)

-Snowed-in cabin/isolated together for extended period of time (The Jaffar/Pwinzezz Cavefic!)

-Found families (I guess the Samarkand gang counts for poor old Fadl? Even if Jaffar *is* his brother, so technically it is his family. But he does have his religious congregation and Zainab, and is... well, he always does seem to be seeking something, so he's the kind of guy to go for this trope.)

-Fairy tale/mythology AU (And not just when I am writing in *actual* fairytale/mythology fandoms. Which I am doing most of the time, what with Thief of Bagdad being a 1001 Nights fanfic anyway. So I'm writing fanfic about a fanfic of some age-old RPF (fantasy AU!) about historical figures from the late 700s/early 800s...)

-Enemies to friends to lovers (Yes, please! Aplenty. I'm surprised that enemyslash/FoeYay/Hero(ine)/Villain(ess), whatever you want to call it, isn't mentioned on this list.)

-Characters swap roles AU (Uh... I've written sexual switching in some isolated chapters? Like when Laura briefly doms Torsten in The Fall of Angels, to help him get over some traumas?)

-Friends to lovers (With RPS, Veidtbone in particular, and Theta/Koschei. This also seems to happen whenever I write femslash.)

-Magical connection (telepathy, etc) (Doctor/Master basically ruined me for all my other ships what with their telepathic ability. So that now, it feels less interesting for me to write love/sex that *doesn't* have telepathy.)

-Fake dating/fake marriage accidentally turns into feelings (see next trope)

-Royals/political marriage turns into feelings (These last two are pretty much the same thing in ToB, as I've had Yassamin marry Jaffar a couple of times--like The Past Forgotten and The King's White Falcon, but without him laying a hand on her for up to a year, until she finally grows a brain and realises how loveworthy he is after all.)

-Seemingly unrequited pining (Emphasis on the "seemingly." Jaffar's unrequited pining is painful enough in the movie, so there's no point in making him suffer any more.)

-Accidentally fell in love with the mission target (Well, *kind of,* what with Torsten. Lars-Erik was definitely his mission target in the original film, and at the start of Because The World Belongs to the Devil, he made no bones about having wanted to kill Laura Erika [the teenage girl version of Lars-Erik in this AU, to those of you just joining in] when she was born.)

-They break up (but then they get back together) (With Jaffar/Fadl. Fadl's stormed off in a huff at least twice in the past. And Doctor/Master is always the same old on-off car crash, isn't it? Although this is not a favourite trope of mine, as the setup would usually necessitate them being an existing couple in the first place, and I tend to not write canon or "plausibly lovers" ships because they're already happily together. What do Two and Jamie, Holmes and Watson etc. need me for? They're already as good as married. Let them have their happiness.)

-Supernatural creature/human romance (Sort of. I've written Time Lords/humans, humans/djinn at least. And surely wizards count as supernatural romance, anyway?)

-Reincarnation/'25 Lives' AU (What's with the 25 lives? Is this some big fandom thing again? One of the darkest, most fucked-up fics I ever wrote was the Master killing the Doctor during sex and fucking him as he regenerated around him. As you do. And there's reincarnation in one of my Jaffar/Pwinzezz fics, but I won't spoil it for the new readers by telling you which one it is.)

-Selfcest (possibly due to time travel) (I am scratching my head trying to remember when I wrote this and in which fandom, but I have the distinct feeling I've written it. I've certainly whacked off to that World Of Simm!Masters clusterfuck what with the pink dress so many times I... I think I broke two clit buzzers during that time. I've certainly drawn it. And drawn some Connies on Connies. And then there's, of course, Sarosh the Sexbot who's a clone of Jaffar, looks-wise, but he is very distinctly just a robot, not a living character as such--not the sort with which you could have a real, interpersonal dynamic. My problem with selfcest, in general, is that I like having that character dynamic--and that requires the characters to be different from one another. If it's two characters that are too similar--if they fulfill a similar role in the canons--it's hard to create a dynamic between them and to make it interesting.)

-Polyamory (Swinging away ALL the bloody time with the Roses!Jaffar and Yassamin, and Torsten/Laura. Sometimes I miss the monogamous 'verses.)

-Amnesia (I've got a post-movie "Jaffar comes back from the dead" WIP I'll probs never finish, because it doesn't seem to get off the ground. If I wrote this trope, I would have the characters gradually regain memory, though; complete mind-wipes are horrid. I did have Handy lose the majority of his cognitive/motor/Timey skills in No More and that was the main reason I had to... well, I'm not going to spoil it if someone hasn't read it yet, but it wasn't the cheeriest of fics. The Past Forgotten *sort of* has this, but I don't want to spoil as to how that happens.)

***

I could write:

-Daemons (Why the archaic spelling? I have written djinn, so I almost put this in the 'have written' section. I can't remember if I actually *have* written real demons, because I might have. Surely, Torsten counts...)

-'Everyone is evil'/mirrorverse AU (Well, mostly, if I want to explore "evil" characters, I write about those types of characters in the first place, without having to turn anyone evil. Devilry is the 'verse for that. Hell, usually it's the other way around; I try to look for the human elements of the baddies, or at least explore their logic--what makes them tick, what makes them the way they are. So, IDK, I could've also put this in the "unlikely to ever write" section.)

-And they were roommates! (This would be terrible and also hilarious, whatever characters ended up becoming my victims. Even if I'm more interested in those hurt/comfort plots, overall. And I have always found it *impossible* to live under the same roof with other people because I need peace and quiet and solitude too much. So this is almost a bit too much like the sorts of negative RL experiences I don't really want to get more of in fic. But I *could* write it as a comedy for cheap lols, especially if the stress were resolved by hot bonking, ASAP.)

-'They all work in an office' AU (Otherwise, I would've put this in the "just no" category, but... the Barmakids were civil servants. So I *could* write Jaffar and Fadl drowning in paperwork--"WHY DID WE EVER introduce paper into THIS EMPIRE?!?" and cursing their fates and Jaffar restraining Fadl from braining Harun al-Rashid with a paperweight. Same with Lina doing Zainab's books and trying to hold back The Fist of Death when Fadl carelessly drops a piece of his lunch over her perfectly calligraphied accounting.)

-'Falling for a coworker/teammate is a bad idea' except this is fiction so it works out (Maybe. Just maybe. But it'd also be in a medieval ToB context.)

***

I will probably never write:

-'Groundhog Day'/karmic time loop (I just never got the appeal of this. Sounds like the sort of thing experimental writers would like? The sorts who really like filling in bingo cards and challenge lists?)

-Vampires/werewolves AU (I'm not that big on either. Super-unpopular opinion coming up: I prefer sex to the sublimation of it that vampires are often all about; bloodsucking in lieu of sex, and/or being seen as way better than sex just always feel to me like a cheap cop-out from writers who are disappointed in sex, or afraid of it. I've never grokked it any more than that stupid, stupid "chocolate is better than sex" quip from women who don't know what masturbation is--yes, it fucking well is sex, TYVM! I much prefer to make partnered sex better than it is IRL by adding supernatural stuff like telepathy to *that*. Immortality alone is interesting to explore, as are Gothic themes, but all the usual themes that vampires *specifically* usually represent just... either hold little interest for me, or then, I can explore them in other ways.)

-'Pride and Prejudice' AU (I don't hate Jane Austen, but it's not my fandom. That kind of society stuff and being witty over teacups in bonnets has never really been my thing--if anything, I usually have my characters exist in their own bubble, isolated from society and its restrictive mores and social stresses.)

***

JUST NO!

-Coffee house AU/food service AU (AUGH! Please, no coffeeshop AUs for me; the world is full of them already. Maybe I could write it as some terrible, short parody? Or doodle it? But no more than that.)

-Hogwarts AU (Haven't read HP. Young Adult isn't really my genre. I know, I know; I've just lost all my WLW cred.)

-High school/university AU (I've done Time Lord Academy-era stuff with Doctor/Master, but I expect this means a sort of American high school/university AU with jocks and cheerleaders and shit. Hell, no. Again, the exact sort of horrid society stuff I would rather have my characters escape from.)

-Adopting/raising a baby (Erm, not unless you count Jaffar/Yassamin adopting a cheetah? They do have kids in some 'verses but there's none of that everyday baby stuff that this question/trope probably implies. I'm squicked by babies, sorry.)

-Unusually specific occupation AU, like, the Author clearly has the same job (It worries me that this is, by virtue of its inclusion here, apparently seen as normal and acceptable..? When it's crap fanfic, inserting yourself into something that should be about the *established* characters instead. Jesus, I don't want to go in expecting a fanfic, and then find out it’s your diary instead! Unless you're Anaïs Nin. And even if you really *do* want to write about yourself, then just... write original fic? An autobiography? A blog? Write an OC that has your job. Don't do this false advertising where you insist it's fanfic when it's not. That's a dick move towards your readers.)

-Loyalty kink (see next trope)

-Alpha/beta/omega (Too creepy. I can write about piss, shit, incest, necrophilia and cannibalism, but not these last two. Any more than I can glorify the Nazis I've written about; I either take the piss out of them, as with Strasser, or just step outside of their politics and bring them into the land of happy sexings like with von Kolb, with the aim of dragging him out of that madness and leaving it behind.)

-Hot single parent(s) (Please. Rundvik: "You love children." Torsten: "I loooooathe themm.")

-Unrequited pining (Too much of an emotional squick. Has to be requited. I write fanfic to fix things, to avenge wrongs, to set things right. I don't write them to make the characters more miserable than they already are. Unless it's for temporary, character-development purposes, that is.)

#writing #meta #personal #meme #and no #idk what's up with the extra spaces in the formatting either

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lordoftimeandspace · 7 years

Text

Missy/Master and the Doctor - The whole bloody mess

(spoilers for season 10 finale)

Many people have argued quite differently about the Master, Missy and the Doctor and their motives and relationships. I have discussed it with a tumblr user in two threads (x and x) so for convenience, I collected the arguments here in one thread because I do have a few things to add.

The Master is an awful person, to the point of almost being a one-dimensional caricature of evil.

This is your conclusion so let me start here. The Master, in all the years he has appeared on Doctor Who is a lot of things but never one-dimensional. I'm not sure how familiar you are with his background so let me fill you in quickly. Mind you, I will of course only canon:

1. During their childhood the Doctor and the Master were bullied by a boy named Torvic. To save his friend's life the Doctor had to eventually kill that boy. Later a personification of death asked the Doctor to be her champion. He refuses and suggests she takes the Master instead as her disciple. She agrees and the Doctor forgets about the whole encounter. In canon it is the Doctor who becomes a killer first and then conveniently escapes responsibility for it by making the Master bear the consequences.

2. At the age of eight the drums were implanted into the Master's head and always seen as a sign of madness. The drums worsened over time. It was only when the Master forced the Doctor to actually listen to them, that the Doctor believed. So we have a little boy thinking he is not worthy being a Timelord (because why else would he “turn mad” when he looked?) and not even his very best friend even so much as entertains the idea that it could be something else.

3. Koschei (as the Master preferred to be called for a while) was on an academic research mission when the Doctor was expelled from the academy, forcing him into a conflict of loyalty. Again, it is the Doctor who is kicked out first. The Master follows on his own accord because after all they made a pact to see all the stars together.

4. Koschei was obsessed with order to the point that the Timelords planted a spy to monitor him. That spy, a Timelady posing as a human, became his companion. When he eventually found out about her true identity he lost a good part of the ability to trust anyone. Isn't it beautiful that the Master wanted companions, too? Companions, not servants, not “disposables”. And is it really so wrong that he would despise the Doctor's companions and insist that they themselves are the only real companions for each other?

5. Later the Doctor made a deal with Death to grant the Master ten years of peace and sanity. At the end of those years the Doctor was supposed to kill him. During those ten years the Master forgot about his true identity, took the name of John Smith, became a doctor and even had a stable relationship. If this is the Doctor's attempt to take responsibility, it really is rather poorly executed. He never asked the Master if he wanted that kind of “saving”. What are ten years in the life of a Timelord after all? Is the Doctor portrayed here as agreeing to a mercy killing? Possible. But completely without any consent from the Master. Also, isn't it ironic that of all things the Master, free from the drums and his past, chooses to be a doctor? That “good” is obviously in him.

6. The Master met Sato Katsura, a samurai who was accidentally made immortal as a result of his involvement with the Doctor. It had left him so bitter, he began to follow the Master. This is probably the most obvious moment of the Master picking up after the Doctor. The Doctor has always liked to use people however he sees fit, often not caring much about the consequences. An example from New Who would be the 12th Doctor making Ashildr use a device that kills her instead of trying a little harder to eliminate that possibility.

7. The Master was continually used by the Timelords and other entities to fight for them. He was deliberately turned into a weapon. The latest example of that is his resurrection to fight in the Time War but what he saw scared him so much that he turned himself into Professor YANA and ran away to the end of the universe. The Doctor however stayed and fought. Sometimes I wonder if this is cowardly running away as opposed to courageously doing what is right. Sometimes I wonder if the Doctor's tolerance for bloodshed, war and violence is higher than the Master's.

8. At some point he posed as the Doctor and began to work for UNIT were he helped them to fight off several alien attacks on Earth. Does it really matter that he posed as the Doctor? Does doing good only count when it is done in the “right” way?

There are many more examples but these should make it very clear that the Master is anything but one-dimensionally evil.

Let's look at some of your arguments about Simm!Master's character:

He told Ten to “get out of the way” because Rassilon was right there, in front of him - the one responsible for his ‘condition’. The intended catharsis of that scene was about the Master getting revenge on Rassilon. (…) It was something that happened in the moment and the status quo of his existence was restored by the Time Lords. (…) People don’t just change in a moment.

So even although the Master had tried to kill the Doctor before time and time again he doesn't do it when he can because shooting at the Doctor first and then at Rassilion is somehow not cathartic enough? Killing them both, the two people he considers responsible for all that went wrong in his life, wouldn't be the ultimate revenge? No, the Doctor spared him and so the Master spares him in return because in that moment the Master understands that his friend still loves him, that there is still hope for a future for them together, seeing the stars. Maybe it is not the huge change in character some people want to see. But it is a redeeming quality. The Master doing “what is right”. All by himself.

Likewise, time has passed since then. The Master went back through the gate with Rassilon to Gallifrey, the Time Lords made a mutual bargain to remove the drums from his head and fix his botched regeneration (…) He just continued with his old ways because that’s what the Time Lords enabled him to do, it was convenient for them to do that in order to get rid of him.

Sometimes I wonder what the other end of that bargain was. What did the Timelords do to him, or make him do for them to remove the drums? After all, they have used him all his life. Why change so suddenly. I think it is very plausible that the Master ran away again and hid on that spaceship (a “mutual kicking out” can mean many many things). Also, despite everything he has done, the Timelords still keep him around. Later, Missy isn't executed as ordered by the Timelords. They still need the Master for whatever future war they need a monster for. I can't even imagine what that does to a man. Going back to his “old ways” after once more being confirmed by the Timelords that that is all he is and all he can do is really not that surprising. After all, if they fixed the drums they could have fixed so much more. They could have helped him. Truly helped. With all their knowledge and wisdom. Instead they try to keep him as a convenient weapon.

The premise of the argument “the Master is not self-destructive” kinda falls apart because he literally chose to die at the end of The Last of the Time Lords instead of being at the Doctor’s side. The last two of their kind and he chose to die, not knowing that his ring would be picked up by Miss Trefusis and he’d later return.

Two things: 1. He chooses to die because the idea that the Doctor would imprison him and just “keep him” was so incredibly appalling to him that he couldn't bear it. It's not just for his own good or the good of the universe. The Doctor sees the Master as his responsibility, his burden. Considering that the Doctor played a considerable role in the Master becoming the Master, that is incredibly arrogant and self-righteous. 2. The Master has “died” so many times before seemingly without the ability to to come back. His mind has been in other people and objects before. Even if he wasn't entirely sure about the ring, he must have known (and said so to the Doctor before) that he is pretty much indestructible.

He sees Missy as such a fundamental violation of who he is with regards to her perspective on the Doctor that he chooses to kill his future self. That is who he is in extremis.

Exactly. He simply cannot agree with the fact the Missy has been changed so much that she would forget who she is and how she came to be. He hates that she basically turned into one of the Doctor's fangirls. He can't understand why she would regress so much in her development that she is barely more than the child they used to be, looking up at the Doctor hoping for guidance. Let's remember here that yes, the Doctor saved their life as a child by killing someone. And he put the blame on the Master. The Master simply cannot allow Missy to forget that the Doctor is not morally pure and superior. He cannot allow that standing with the Doctor on the Doctor's terms leads to their death. He'd rather do it himself. If anything, this was a mercy killing, just like the Doctor agreed to do with the Master many years before. Considering that the Master has survived many of his “final deaths” we can be sure that they will return. When they do it will most likely not be pretty because right now, she thinks that the Doctor believes that she has betrayed him and that he lost his hope for her and does not come after her once more. She might also believe that he is dead and blame herself. The Master's next regeneration could be the most messed up yet.

And there really was nothing at all self-righteous, self-victimising, or egotistic about the Doctor’s speech. It was about self-sacrifice, out of kindness. (…) the message was simply to just be kind.

The Doctor tries continuously to sacrifice himself. The 9th legion, the cybermen, … It's a compulsion. Makes me wonder why? Is it because he is so incredibly good (then why does he never die, only regenerate, when he does? Why is his sacrifice never real?) or is it because he needs redemption and forgiveness just as much as the Master does? The Doctor is consumed by guilt and tries to get rid of it by offering himself up again and again. That is not without reward and therefore not entirely and purely good. There is always an agenda behind what the Doctor does, especially when it's self-sacrifice or kindness. He always goes to extremes to prove that he truly is “good” even although it is only his definition of “good” that counts here. Good is only good in extremis. Only in self-denial and self-sacrifice.

I mean… the Master is a sadistic murderer. (…) The Doctor didn’t “force” anything on her, and, to be honest, what you want when you’re somebody who commits the kind of atrocities that the Master does on a regular basis really doesn’t matter all that much. (…) Your “leave their names out” argument doesn’t really work because that’s just removing the context from the situation. The Doctor has always been a flawed hero, but the whole thing with Missy’s arc is really not an instance of that.

It is exactly here that the greatest flaw of your perception of both Doctor and Master becomes obvious. We are talking about fiction so for a moment let's talk about real life. Operation Neptune Spear as sanctioned by then-President of the USA Obama was a capture or kill mission directed at Osama bin Laden. US-offficals have also simply called it a kill mission. The mission was accomplished in May 2011 resulting in the death of Osama bin Laden. Criticized as a “revenge mission” by foreign governments and organizations like Amnesty International, this mission remains controversial until today. The reason is simply that a criminal, no matter how bad, does have rights, that human rights are non-negotiable, that the crimes of a person do not make them less human. At the same time, acting as if a criminal has lost his human rights because of (past or future) crimes is morally incredibly flawed and honestly, simply plain wrong. It's not hard to see the parallels to the Doctor and Missy here. It does matter if there was consent or not and if there continued to be consent because Missy is still a sentient being with rights and the Doctor (with Gallifrey being back) has no authority whatsoever to decide otherwise. By locking Missy up and isolating her the way he did he violated her. He of all people who always thinks he is morally superior. He messed up epically here. Leaving the names out returns them to what they both are: sentient beings with rights.

She said to the Doctor that she’d be good, asking him to teach her how to be, and consented to being imprisoned for rehabilitation. Whether that was what she actually wanted at the start or if she was saying that to get out of being executed, that was something she made good on. She says as much that she could have escaped the Vault if she’d wanted to, but she’s chosen to stay and engage in the process.

Again, it is highly questionable if it was continued consent, or even just consent born out of an honest desire to change and not just desperate words uttered to save her life. And yes, continued consent is a thing and it is necessary. Ask anybody who agreed to anything and then changed their mind mid-way through. It's one of the very obvious symptoms of rape culture to think that continued consent is not a thing. Besides, the difference in power between them was so huge by then that in order to keep at least some kind of dignity Missy would have probably said anything, including suggesting that she could have escaped the vault, something the Doctor clearly disagreed with.

It’s not just that Missy decided to stand with the Doctor… It’s that the reason WHY she decided to do that was because her whole perspective and understanding of him has changed. (…) she says to her former self “he’s right”. It’s not just about standing with her friend because she wants to, it’s that she actually has come to understand and empathise with his philosophy.

I stand by what I said in the first place. Isolating a prisoner and depriving them of stimuli is torture. And no, a few books and a piano are not enough to keep someone like the Master sane. Time and time again it was shown in studies and experiments that sentient beings, from monkey to human to most likely Timelord are social animals and lose their minds if isolated for too long. That alone, that isolation over decades must have worn her out so much that the Doctor could have planted any kind of philosophy into her head. He chose the only one he knew of course. Self-denial through self-sacrifice. Let's remember here that his self-sacrifice has always been fake. Doctors 10 and 11 regenerated after acts of self-sacrifice but it is just never real because he never dies. He always knows that he has a way out. Regeneration. And so his sacrifice doesn't mean all that much. He of course cannot see that and so he believes his way to be the “most good”, the only right way. And that is the way he tries to make Missy understand.

And she kills her former self, not just to get him out of the way, but to ensure, in that moment, that he will regenerate into her so everything will come back around to this moment - to make it happen. Without hope. Without witness. Without reward.

There is literally no reason to get the Master out of the way at this point. She doesn't know that he would shoot her should she try to go back to the Doctor. She could have literally shoved him into the elevator, sealed the door and send him back down. There was no reason whatsoever to kill him. Especially because she utters remorse about having lost herself, about not being how he is. She is not burning anymore and she knows it. Mind you, we do not know if she refers to her whole existence as Missy or just her time as the Doctor's prisoner. But even if she does kill him to ensure that she comes around to this point, isn't that a reward all in itself? Let's also not forget that the Master concludes from Missy not being able to remember her “birth” that he will regenerate in the very near future. He knew it and simply wasn't ready for it. Another reason why he wouldn't stand with the Doctor.

Conclusion:

1. The Master has never been one-dimensionally evil. If anything the Doctor and the Master are more ying and yang than black and white.

2. The Master and Missy never lost hope that they could be reunited with their childhood friend but they always wanted it to be a mutually benefiting reunion. A reunion that happened on both their terms. The Doctor continually insisting on it to be one-sided was too much for the Master.

3. The Doctor mistreated and violated Missy greatly and the Master could not accept that. And honestly, who would?

4. The Doctor doesn't understand that his so-called self-denial that does work quite well for him, just isn't the go-to-thing for everybody and so he screws Missy up and blows his reunion with the Master.

In the end Missy was right, she has always been on the Doctor's side. All her faces, all her regenerations. They were always his friend. He just always insisted that they be that on his terms and his terms alone.

#haruspis #doctor who spoilers #twissy #thoschei #masterfulxrhythm #heymissysofine #//help!

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the-captains-table · 7 years

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(for the curious, HERE’S THOSCHEI GOES TO DISNEY WORLD with @masterfulxrhythm)

D: No dying today, this is the Happiest Place on Earth!

M: [he just goo goo eyes her from where he’s leaning against a post] You’re my happiest place. [a fiendish grin to offset the corny but thoroughly genuine declaration] You sure you’re tall enough for all the rides?

D: (POKES HIM SO HARD IN THE SIDE) Oi! It's built for children, I am definitely tall enough for Space Mountain. (grabs his hand and drags him into the line)

M: Where are you taking me, foul beast?! I’m being ABDUCTED. She’s an alien! [to a crowd of skeptics near a Star Wars pavilion] It’s true! Coom on you don’t want to get on the Dumbo ride?

M: [he snatches her little waist and pulls her against him from behind] Why’re we going in here? [murmuring this into her ear, tucking hair out of the way, before deliberately attempting to fluster her with a kiss to her earlobe] To make fun of the human concept of the intergalactic? M: I’m all for that, mind.

D: (oh she DOES get a little flustered, not used to this open affection between them just yet, and blushes quite red - even as she elbows him in the ribs) No, you ninny. To get a glimpse of their imagination! Can you imagine, growing up with limited knowledge of what space is actually like, then building an entire entertainment genre off of it? Ride and all?

M: …..You took me to a theme park from earth’s 21st century to try and get me to feel warm and gushy about the human mind. AGAIN . M: So you posit [he spins her] Thaaat. M: ….there is a certain beauty in the capacity to imagine things, even if they’re utterly inaccurate? M: There is beauty in ignorance, Doctor? [lofting a brow] M: ohhhh, look at those pretty little capillaries going to work in your cheeks.

D: Noooooo... (she grins, placing both her hands on his chest once she's facing him) I posit that they can inspire emotions, even in their ridiculousness, better than any other species. D: And shush, you! (buries her face in his chest)

M: Better? Ach. [he tsks, and rolls his eyes, but when her head comes to rest on his chest his entire psyche lifts off like a rocket with joy and charisma.] alright, I’ll concede you that. If you snuggle oop to me like this. I suppose that was your nefarious plot all along. Make the Master yield because you know he’s smitten with you, and always has been. WELL my dear. [and he dance-spins her again, pulls her close and kisses her nose tip] You may win the argument, but I get the FRONT SEAT! M: …but BETTER? D’you know how long it took them to figure out indoor plumbing?F M: Okay okay. Sorry sorry. SORRY FINE. Fine. M: …RACE YA. [and he takes off like an idiot. until he sees the line.] Ew. [a disgusted face like he just stepped in dog crap.]

D: They've invented it MANY times, isn't that great? (although goodness yes, definitely still flustered by PDA, even if no one else seems to mind. she hurries after him to catch up, laughing at that face) Oh come on, this is part of the experience! D: (takes both his hands to draw him into their spot in line and smiles up at him, batting her eyelashes just a little) I've been studying human culture a long time. You may even call me obsessive.

M: Yes, dear, I would.

D: And one thing I've noticed is that these moments here, when you're waiting for something more exciting, these are the moments that matter. D: So let's make the most of it. (kisses his cheek)

M: …… M: ;sdkfgjsdfgjsdkfjg <3333 M: ….you are infuriatingly immutable.

D: (THE BIGGEST, SMUGGEST SMILE and yet also full of infuriating childlike delight)

M: [a crooked grin] You are still you, even after all this time. ‘They keep reinventing toilets, isn’t that GREAT!’ [wide eyed doctor impersonation] ‘we have to stand here with the plebeians and the flies, isn’t that GREAT!’ ‘we may joost experience spiritual enlightenment! it’s the small moments! isn’t that GREEHHHHT!’ M: AhHAH. Heh. I love you. [he drapes an arm across her shoulders and relents. again.]

D: (and given her height, that's exactly the right angle for her to wrap her arms around his torso and snuggle up to him) And that's what makes you the more ridiculous one of us.

M: Will you kiss me in the dark? hm hm? [nudging her with a hip] M: I think that’s debatable. M: the ridiculousness. not the kiss. M: I’m gonna yield sitting in front if you kiss me before we go down the hill thingie.

D: Oh, well, a deal like that, how can I say no?

M : Really? [lighting up incandescently] M: Golly I thought I’d have to wheedle more.

D: You're still standing in line. I think that earns a kiss. (also will make him wriggle even more with impatience as they keep. waiting.)

M: …….now? [realizing the trap that’s been set] …….you’re horrid .

D: (SNICKERS)

M: I would’ve kissed you even when you were that wrinkly old gray man! M: [lmao loudly enough that a few people glance over in puzzlement.] M: How DARE you.

D: (rests her chin on his chest to griiiiiiiiiiiin up at him with those big hazel eyes)

M: OR the one with the clarinet, god what was THAT phase about? M: Or the …stop that.

D: It was a RECORDER!

M: Oh whatever.

D: Why would I stop? (batbatbatbat)

M: Or the…. you know, sometimes I miss that stupid yellow antique car.

D: I think UNIT still has her somewhere. Maybe I'll ask Kate.

M: The scarves. Of variant hideously clashing patterns. M: Oh my God. I might cry.

D: At least I had colour in my wardrobe.

M: Black is bold and absolute.

D: And boring.

M: [a gasp. you could have accused him of being a monster and he’d be less offended]

D: You looked better once you added the red.

M: it is NOT it’s DRAMATIC and AVANT-GARDE. M: Well I. I always looked magnificent. M: You probably like the black hoodie and red t-shirt best, because you’re a hooligan with no taste.

D: It's not avant-garde if you wear it for centuries, Koschei! (perhaps a LITTLE too loudly) D: I did. D: Because I knew how much you hated it.

M: I had many duplicates of the same outfit, Thay-tuh. M: I grew into it.

D: I bet I'd look good in that hoodie.

M: ….I may still have it….. M: [imagining her wearing nothing but that hoodie…..going down nearly to her knees….oh no…..] M: ….well you’ve dealt the killing blow, I’m...undone.

D: And we still have this entire queue to get through!

#and not a moment too soon (thirteen)#masterfulxrhythm #threads #i guess??#idk man it's too hilarious

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raywritesthings · 7 years

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Lost in Translation 1/?

My Writing Fandom: Doctor Who Characters: Donna Noble, Tenth Doctor Pairing: Doctor/Donna Summary: In a universe where people are born with the name of the person destined for them displayed on their skin, intergalactic soulmates can be rather difficult to navigate. AO3 link

The Time Lords told their young about soulmate markings the same way they told their young about everything else. Dispassionately, matter-of-factly, and with a sense that it was best not to dwell on something so base and trivial.

A quirk of biology, thought to be a leftover trait from the time of the Carrionites. Words, after all, had been their power, though there was certainly strength behind High Gallifreyan and even Circular Gallifreyan texts.

Neither a quirk of biology nor any written form of Gallifreyan could explain Theta Sigma’s marking, however.

“There are clearly four distinct symbols, though one repeats, you see?” He twisted in place to be able to look back at Koschei while also pushing the collar of his robe to the side. It wasn’t proper protocol to show someone else your marking, but children broke the rule all the time, even at the Academy.

“And they’ve always looked like that?”

“Of course they have. They’d be even more remarkable if they’d changed, I daresay.”

“Do you like to think they make you special?” Koschei drawled.

Theta flushed. “Well, no. Not special necessarily. Merely different.”

“You needn’t any help with being different.” He couldn’t very well disagree with his friend on that count.

Theta did protest, however, as Koschei stood and walked across the room. “Aren’t you going to show me yours?”

“Why should I?” His friend asked loftily. “They’re pointless to us Time Lords. I’m sure we’ll have evolved past them in a matter of generations. Who knows, maybe your nonsense symbols are the first sign.”

Years later, they were both deeply involved in their studies, and anything else hardly bore thinking about. At least, that had been the impression Theta was working under, only for Koschei to march into the room with no preamble one day while he was in the middle of testing his newest invention.

“I’ve found your symbols.”

“My what?”

“Your soulmate marking symbols,” he enunciated as though he thought Theta was being particularly thick today. Koschei set a thick tome down on his workbench. “They’re from a primitive language originating on the planet Sol Three. We’re going to be covering it along with several others next term.”

Theta was hardly concerned with the subject of next term’s classes, however. “And this language has a word with all of those symbols? In the exact order?”

“Yes.”

“Well, what does it mean? Out with it!” He urged.

Koschei rolled his eyes. “It simply means ‘lady’, silly. How very foolish of you. Not only could you not manage a soulmate marking in the proper language, you couldn’t even manage a name.”

Theta’s face felt very hot and he wished he wasn’t at the Academy at all, but back at the barn.

Koschei hardly seemed to notice, instead looking very pleased with himself for figuring out the mystery. That was true Time Lord arrogance, always the need to be clever.

“And what, may I ask, were you doing looking for my symbols, hm?” Theta demanded, if only to wipe the smirk off his face. “Thought you said they were nonsense.”

“Well — they are. I wasn’t looking for them. I was reading ahead in the course material. Obviously.” Koschei scoffed, but it didn’t sound as convincing as his usual.

“Obviously,” said Theta anyway. “Well then, it hardly bares discussing, does it?”

They never brought it up, nor did Theta Sigma bring it up to another person, ever again.

—-

To humanity, soulmate marks were a little slice of fairy tale in an ordinary, mundane world. Parents cooed over the name their baby was gifted at birth, perhaps picked a birthname they thought might sound nice together, then got caught up in the swirl of nappy changings, first steps, first words, teething, and so on. When the child was old enough to understand, that was when they were told about the mark — though that age varied depending on the parents, of course.

But Donna Noble had always understood. She wasn’t like other babies who were given a gift at birth. Donna Noble was given a curse.

The interlocking circles that spanned almost the expanse of her back were just another oddity, as if it wasn’t bad enough being ginger and never skinny, not even during her growth spurt. Dad and Gramps always had a good chortle over how mum had fainted straightaway at the sight of her mark.

“What is it, some kind of graffiti? My daughter’s got some street tag on her back, oh God,” was her refrain every time she glimpsed it. Donna learned to wear cardis and jackets and shawls, even to the pool.

“Now, now, Sylvia, I’m sure that’s not it,” her dad responded in a well-worn way every time, somehow striking the balance between exasperated and fond. Donna wouldn’t have believed in soulmates at all if she didn’t watch her parents somehow stay in love despite, well, everything.

Her dad was real good about the whole mark thing, really. “Do you want it removed, love?” He asked her one night near the end of primary school, rubbing the spot in soothing circles as Donna cried into her pillow. “People get that done, these days.”

“Would it hurt?” She asked in a small voice, lifting her face slightly to be understood.

“Well, I imagine it would a little. But we’d be right there, your mum and I, and your grandfather.”

Donna thought for a long moment. She imagined it would hurt an awful lot, and there was the question of money. Everyone at school already knew about it anyway, thanks to the girls who snickered behind her back in the locker rooms. There’d be no point now.

“They’re jealous,” her Gramps insisted, sitting in his chair on the hill. “You’ve got something they haven’t, sweetheart, and that makes you special.”

“But I don’t want it,” she replied, her knees drawn up to her chest as she sat on the grass beside him.

He chuckled, placing an arm around her shoulders. “Well, no no one asks for what they’re given. It’s their choice whether to make the most of it or not. You’ll see, love. One day, I’m sure of it. You’ll find your — well, whoever he is.”

Why was she the one who had to have it all muffed up? Oh sure, Susie from maths had a Tom; he’d be hard to find, but at least it was something. Some Tom out there in the world who could share everything with Susie if they ever met. Be her closest friend, her support, the one person who understood her completely. Donna didn’t even have the luxury of pretending.

There were some, people said, who weren’t born with anyone’s name marked upon their skin. They were said to be happy, that they never felt a lack. Sometimes Donna wished that she were like that; other times, the thought occurred to her that someone like her would never be good enough on their own going nowhere as she was, and imagining being alone in the universe her whole life terrified her. But she was as good as, wasn’t she?

Stupid circles. It wasn’t Chinese characters, or Japanese, or Korean; it wasn’t Arabic; it wasn’t even bloody hieroglyphics!

—-

When the Doctor first married, his wife trailed curious fingers over the old symbols but never asked. They had that understanding about each other. It was comfortable, it was easy. They were good to each other, and for each other, so his old teachers often remarked.

It was not the life he dreamt of, either when he closed his eyes or when he gazed up at the orange sky from his place lying on the red grass — his little Arkytior with him now, not Koschei — but he could not find it in himself to regret it. Not when he knew a hand in his was the only abatement to his loneliness, his sense of not belonging on Gallifrey, he was likely to ever receive.

And then he and Arkytior, now Susan — Rose, he had told her, was the proper translation of her name, but she had been adamant in choosing her own, the stubborn child — were no longer on Gallifrey, instead lost amongst the stars in a rickety Type 40 TARDIS he barely knew what to do with.

It was not until his travels took him to Earth with increasing regularity that he realized the symbols — D o n n a — were not just a word. They had also been adopted as a name. Humans named their infants lady sometimes. How curious.

Curiouser still, was the idea that he had been given the name of a human to wear. Him, a Time Lord, who lived for centuries and did perhaps grow old but changed rather than died. He had children and grandchildren, yet was not even middle-aged! What if he should meet this Donna tomorrow? How much of his life could he reasonably expect her to be a part of? A century? A handful of decades? It not only seemed foolish, it seemed cruel.

The Doctor did not seek out any of these Donnas, not like he might have in his true youth. Not when Susan left with her David — he hadn’t had the heart to check her marking; he did not wish to know what had her so taken with the human — not when Ian and Barbara left, not when he continued to travel and meet new humans with all variety of names that hurt him badly enough when they all in turn took their leave of him.

Not even after the Time War, when he was left with nothing. Not a people, not a family, not an other half. The temptation beckoned, but what other person could wish to share themselves with a monster like him now?

Instead, he found a new Rose. Different in many aspects to his precious granddaughter, but still he was unaccountably fond of the pink and yellow human who brought some of the old joy of traveling the stars back to his weary eyes. Despite some hiccups, such as accidentally taking her from her home for an entire year, she seemed to like him a great deal as well.

The Doctor did not realize just how much, unfortunately, until he lost her too.

“Wait,” Rose said, clearly struggling not to break down on her end of the connection he had created to say a proper goodbye to her on the parallel world. “Wait, before you- before you’re gone, I need to know. Is it you?”

“Is what me?”

“The name I’ve got. Is it yours?” To his dismay she turned around, unzipping her jacket with the clear intent of showing him her mark. “Yours is mine, isn’t it? I love you.”

“Oh, Rose Tyler,” he sighed, his hearts sinking. She flickered, then faded from view as the connection weakened and then died, not before he glimpsed markings in a twenty-six character alphabet clear as day.

What had he done? All that time, had he led her to believe — oh no. No wonder Jackie and Mickey had often viewed him so poorly.

This soulmate business truly was horrid and pointless, his old friend had been right all along. The Doctor resolved then and there to forget the entire thing. Not just forget, he would actively ignore and work against it. He could tattoo over the name like the Corsair used to do, make sure every companion knew corresponding soulmate markings between species was an impossibility — he’d told worse lies. Do everything in his power to halt the idea in its tracks before it even began to germinate.

Then he turned around to find a ginger bride standing in his TARDIS.

—-

Donna Noble flitted from relationship to relationship after school. Between being a temp and her own unique situation, nothing ever felt like a good fit. Not to mention, all the times she was dumped soon as her time was up at this or that office. She was just practice, her mum always said. People wanted to be able to impress their soulmate on the first go.

It would be just the same at her new job, her mother harangued her as she applied, got the assignment, and prepared for her first day at H.C. Clements. No one would be taking any special interest in her except as a cheap date.

But then Lance Bennett from Human Resources smiled at her across the office and gestured to the coffee machine. He was nice, friendly, and certainly her type. Basically, a dream come true, and Donna had given up dreaming a long time ago.

She couldn’t imagine why the Head of Human Resources at a posh company like this would be interested in her of all people. Unless...

“This isn’t cause you’ve got a Donna you’re looking out for, is it? Am I the first one you’ve met?” Donna demanded over the third coffee in as many days, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Lance pulled a face. “Oh, I don’t put any stock in that rubbish.”

Her heart leapt. “Really?”

“Why would I tie myself down to someone just because of their name? It’s nonsense. I could be totally wrong about them being ‘the one’, couldn’t I?”

“Yeah, exactly!” Donna enthused. “Unless, you know, it’s like something real specific. My friend, her parents stuck her with Nerys. Said it’d be unique enough for her soulmate to find her right away. Well they haven’t yet!” She laughed, and Lance smiled at her and Donna felt so much better about this, about everything.

Maybe Lance wasn’t meant to be her ‘one’. But if neither of them minded, what was the harm?

She couldn’t wait for him to pop the question. What if he changed his mind? What if he met someone off the street with the name she refused to even look at? Donna didn’t get lucky like this. It was now or never if she didn’t want to end up the old maid her mother said she was destined to be. Who cared about destiny? She was choosing to love Lance.

And he’d said yes. The wedding was being planned, her mum flying into a frenzy of activity all of a sudden. Even Nerys agreed to be maid of honor, though she claimed it was due to needing to be there to believe it. They booked St. Mary’s and a hall for the reception, and Donna went for a dress fitting. She made sure to pick one that, between the veil and her hair, would cover up the old mark. A wedding dress fitting, it was actually happening!

Her only regret was Gramps coming down with the Spanish Flu. Of course she urged him to go to hospital, but she would have loved to have him there with her mum and dad. Part of her considered delaying the whole thing, just by a week to see if he’d be any better by then, forget the honeymoon in Morocco. Lance assured her that they would be filming it anyway and he’d see the whole thing, and that calmed her down a bit.

Of course, she was a whole different bundle of nerves the day of the wedding. Donna couldn’t believe this was happening to her! Each step she took down the aisle was a step closer to the rest of her life. She was beaming ear to ear, practically glowing!

No, hang on, she really was glowing. Donna stopped in the middle of the aisle in shock as she lit up bright gold. There was a strange sensation, it almost felt like an invisible pull on her. Everyone was staring, and it wasn’t because she was the bride.

Donna screamed.

She blinked and suddenly found herself standing in the strangest room she’d ever seen. Everyone from the wedding was gone. Instead, staring across at her in bewilderment was the skinniest bloke in a suit she’d ever had the misfortune to meet.

“What?”

“Who’re you?” Asked Donna.

“But.” That was it, he didn’t actually have an ending to that.

“Where am I?” She demanded next.

He switched right back to, “What?”

“What the hell is this place!”

“What?”

#ten x donna #doctor x donna #donna noble #tenth doctor #doctor who #the doctor #my writing

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sclfmastery · 5 years

Text

No one can say the Doctor claims to be good.

She tries to be kind, tries to DO good, but after so many centuries, the line between good and bad seems so fuzzy. It is this grey area that allowed him to lock Missy in the vault, that allowed him to feel no remorse for punishing those he deems evil.

The Doctor is not evil. But they’re certainly not GOOD.

That isn’t to say she doesn’t try. Domesticity does wonders for a person’s conscience. With a young daughter and twins on the way, the Doctor seems to be softer these days. Or perhaps it’s the new regeneration. Full of light and hope, she is in love and happier than she’s been in lifetimes.

When she snaps, it’s all the more dangerous.

“I can not BELIEVE you!"

The Doctor storms into the console room, clearly fuming. Her brows are furrowed in anger, her jaw set and teeth clenched. Zinnia has the good sense to pry her hand from her father’s and scurry off to play quietly in her room. The Doctor doesn’t even glance at the little girl as she rounds on the Master.

"You go on and on about wanting to do better, wanting to BE better! But then you turn around and do things like this and it really makes me wonder. It’s like Missy all over again.”

Those words are designed to hurt, and she doesn’t feel remorse for them. Yet. One phrase echoes in the Doctor’s mind, making her see red even now. Your version of good is not absolute. It's vain, arrogant and sentimental. But Missy had said as much back then…. The Master would never become all that.

What had started as a family friendly trip had turned into a dangerous hostage situation. Sacrifice one to save many… but the Doctor refused to play by those rules. The Master, however, had had other ideas.

“Sometimes, Koschei, you have to sit back and admit that I know what I’m doing, that I KNOW BEST. People got hurt! People could have died because you thought one life was worth sacrificing for the rest. But that’s just it, it never stops at JUST ONE. You should know that only too well. It never stops at just one.”

Her gaze was very pointed, and almost cold. He should know only too well, because he had too often been the villain that tried to pit the Doctor against great odds to save their friends or sacrifice the lives of so many others.

*********************************

“Zinny, I’ll come after you in a bit,” murmurs the precocious child’s father. A hand lingers on top of her head as she scurries out, allowing her parents their periodic exorcism of demons past.

There’s scarcely any evidence remaining of the blood that had soaked his overcoat and fingers. He was certain to tear off and deposit that black and red shroud, over the body of the woman who aimed her gun at his wife and kids.

With Zinnia gone, he folds his hands in front of him, and keeps his eyes downcast, with a pensive expression. Not once does he interrupt, no matter how temper inwardly flares.

And so it is that, with an impressive display of self-control, the Master grants the Doctor room to tirade. He understands. He even--recent development--respects her stance, in this one area in which they will never agree: the use of weaponry, and its ability to take a life.

Where, then, does the Master stand: when being a weapon predicates his whole existence, and protection is his chief love language?

The Doctor covers lots of terrain quickly, and to that she owes her quicksilver mind; never has it failed her, even when her iat a moral compass has. She speaks of the hypocrisy (perhaps the shallowness?) of the Master’s yearning to be a better person (and that stings); she speaks of how he is no different from Missy--or perhaps how his interception in Missy’s fate is another example of that shallow penitence (and that stings more); she speaks of how murder has a way of compounding itself (and that stings most, because if he “should know,” then she should know still better).

He waits until she’s completely bereft of wind. Then brown eyes blackened by broad pupils snap up.

“Yes, I killed someone, to save you. To save her.” He nods sharply out the door, where Zinnia left. “To save them.” And he nods at her belly. “You expect me to repent at words. Just like you expected that woman to put down her gun and see your version of logic, and decency, at words.”

What begins as a tone meant for an unruly child slowly builds into something quiet but sizzling.

“And having heard you speak your piece, Doctor, I would have done the same thing again. The difference between us, since the moment we met, my love, is that you will place ideas over people, to the point that your loved ones have richly reaped the punishments for the luxury of your moral high ground. And yeah, I should know, thanks for that reminder, Your Excellency! I should know, because I have been the force to which you’ve sacrificed those loved ones, more than once, so YEP, I’ve a front-row seat to your methods, darling. In fact, I always knew my mean-spirited schemes would work, I could bank on it, and so would have Missy, were her spirit not yet b r o k e n, because we have long known that’s your fatal flaw.”

“But me? For better or worse, I will burn in hell for my actions, unapologetic, for my people. I will do the terrible and dirty work, I will rot, I will kill, to see you, and them, live another day. There is no moral principle worth losing you.”

“D’you want me to go on? Surprises you, maybe, how much I’ve actually held back, how kind I’ve actually been, this whole time.”

#ic #mostincrediblechange #other self #my joan of arc #goose and kookaburra #lawdy)#submission

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track-three · 7 years

Text

a little bit of journal-ing/personal posting/positivity on where i am n how far things have come

so...it’s more than halfway through 2017, and i’ve just suddenly sat and thought about how much things have changed for me since this time two years ago.

two years ago - i was with my ex, with all our plans for the future finally so close! i was still studying my undergraduate degree, at the very tail end, biting my nails every 5 seconds wondering if i had the marks to get into medicine. i was working my ass off trying to keep ahead of the pack academically, trying to keep my relationship on track, trying to hold everything together how i wanted it.

(which is ironic, because looking back, when i’m in “everything must stay like THIS and i will move heaven and earth to keep my life together” mode...it usually means my life is not as great as i think it is, and am so determined to keep it, in those times.)

thing was, i’m not sure it was how i wanted it. it was so difficult to work around our combined circumstances (long story) to see my partner, even to talk, and after four years it wasn’t getting any easier. i didn’t see how any of our grand plans would come together if these little daily bits of life were so hard. the collar i wore meant so much to me, but it started to hurt more than it made me happy, because i’d not practiced what it stood for months at a time.

i vividly remember finally, finally getting the news i’d made it in to my #1 uni for graduate medicine - a week later than that news was supposed to be delivered. i was in the middle of exam period, dosed up on valium because i was a wreck of panic! i couldn’t study, couldn’t sleep, exams i had to pass (and do well in) just days away. and then, finally. everything i’d worked for nonstop for 4 years, it all worked out! all i wanted was to celebrate with the girl i loved - but she couldn’t come see me, because she couldn’t justify visiting me to her (abusive) parents.

i remember coming home to an empty house. my parents were overseas, my girlfriend absent and me mad at her, and i just thought - i should kill myself, right now. i had everything i’d ever wanted for the last 5 years of my life, and i have never felt so fucking alone.

a month or so later, us both on holidays, i drew the line in the sand with my ex. a couple weeks after that, we broke up.

and so began 2016. after four years, speaking to each other every day, spending my life with my best friend always by my side, her name physically written into me, i didn’t know what to make of life by myself. sometimes, i still don’t.

i hadn’t thought breaking up would mean losing my friend, too. after all, we’d promised to the end of the world and back that would never happen. i suppose if any of those promises had lasted, we wouldn’t have broken up in the first place. but, they didn’t, and i did - lose my friend, that is. no matter how cute or meaningful you think making koschei and theta your pet names is, don’t do it because that’s a self fulfilling prophecy right there

but see - this is where this post stops being a pile of angst. first of all - you know what? i was sad, i was really sad. but being sad, grieving somebody i deeply and truly loved, it felt ten times better than being abandoned, being alone, being depressed. it hurt, but it hurt because it came from a place that was so important and good. i won’t say that year wasn’t hard for me, but it was so much better than i expected because of that.

second of all - in healing, i did the best thing i’ve ever done for myself. i got out and joined the kink scene, and i met this...beautiful, wonderful, vibrant community of people. you have no idea! they are so inclusive, they are all unique and fascinating, they are all welcoming and they will stick by you unconditionally. i’ve never had a community before, i’ve never even had a place i could call home! now i have community leaders offering me their couches if i ever need them, i have met so many incredible new friends...i haven’t! made new friends! since my ex and i got together!! and now i have dozens of them, and we text and chat, and they are there for me whenever and whatever i need. they are the family i’ve always wanted.

thirdly - i got out and did things i’ve never even dreamed i could do. i’ve always been a gleeful masochist, and now i’m an adventurous masochist. things that were strictly fantasy, things totally beyond what i thought i could do, are now treasured experiences. i swear: i was more proud, more elated, more happy with myself when i first played with a spiked mace than i ever was getting into medicine. because i had two beautiful tops, twenty amazing people standing by and supporting me, i had the entire community cheering for me. that’s what it’s supposed to feel like. fourth - i’m taking med school in my stride, as hard as i can. am i brilliant at it? no, not exactly, but i’m pretty damn good. med school means taking the top 3% of the entire country, all of them people who achieve >90% on most things, and spreading them out on a bell curve. and it’s hard to be proud of myself for being “just” above average in a cohort like that, but i am.

and now? oh. my. god.

a) i’m at my dream hospital, and it’s hard work and terrifying more often than not, but the things i’ve done! the cases i’ve seen! the patients i’ve met?? medicine is only getting more and more intimidating, but i do like what i do. i think i really do like it. and i’m doing better than i expected at it. b) working on my mental health! there are bad nights, but they are so much fewer than they used to be. and i have a good specialist and a path forwards, and that means a lot. c) i’ve reconnected with lovely, dear friends d) i’ve made med friends! i have the coolest group of buddies despite us all being people who probably would never have picked each other as mates. i’ve never had a...group before, it feels crazy, but it’s great! shoutout to one particular human who is basically one of the best friends i’ve ever met, and has kept me going. e) i’ve thrown myself back into fandom! and once again - met people, made friends, contributed, done things. my lil niche corner is more active than ever, and i love it. so, in retrospect - sometimes, i still feel adrift. i still don’t quite have all the parts of my puzzle together, and it feels sad knowing that lots of the pieces that do fit today were shaped by a person who doesn’t want to be in my life anymore. i still care a lot - i always will.

but i am so, so grateful for where i am today. i am so grateful for having a life that is so full and rich from multiple directions. i am so grateful for the new and wonderful people in my life that i never expected to find! i’m grateful that there is so much for me to look forward to: there’s new tenth doctor stuff coming out (ha, top of the list!), there’s a world of kinky stuff i’ve yet to try, there’s only 2 years until i become a Real Certified Doctor (what?!), there’s heaps on the list!

i look back at that feeling: “i have everything i’ve ever wanted, and i still want to die” - is it different, now? sometimes, no it is not. but the change is this: i know now that “everything i’ve ever wanted” is...so much bigger than i thought it was. there is a world of life around the corner i hadn’t envisioned. i didn’t know it at the time, but i was boxed in. i’m out of my box now, and if that sentiment has changed, it’s because i know there is so much more stuff out there waiting.

so this is me: being grateful, and hopeful about my future. this is my note to early-2016!me, who couldn’t imagine what that might feel like. it’s different than you thought it would feel, but it’s good. :)

#personal #mental illness #suicide ment #kink ment #BUT ON THE WHOLE THIS IS A WHOLESOME POST #just #do not read if those things are no good for you #it feels so odd to write this #i think i have turned a very unexpected corner #and i think it's good??#ia ctually think #it's good #:)

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perfectlyrose · 7 years

Text

Up In Flames (2/10)

Summary: In the year since they decided to become a team, John Smith and Rose Tyler have made quite the names for themselves as Team TARDIS, bank robbers extraordinaire. Newspapers the world over run headlines about The Doctor and the Bad Wolf and their latest heists. They’re practically unstoppable.

Then their world spins to a halt with a phone call. Jack’s in trouble again and a formidable enemy from John’s past has emerged from the shadows to try and destroy the bank robbing couple once and for all. Will they be able to survive this new threat intact or will the life they’ve been building together go up in flames?

A sequel to Watch it Burn, a Nine/Rose bank robbers AU

Word Count: 4202

Rating: Teen

Note: So you know John’s Mysterious Past(TM) ? Well you finally get to find out some of it :)

Read here: tumblr // ao3 // tsp // ff

Rose fell asleep on the relatively short flight to Seattle, the retreat of the adrenaline that the heist and the subsequent phone call had sent storming through her had left her exhausted. John smiled down at the top of her head as she let out a soft snore from where she was using his shoulder as a pillow.

He envied her the brief respite of sleep. Rose could sleep anywhere, especially if he was around to watch her back, and she always managed to just go out like a light when she decided she needed some shuteye.

It was not a talent he possessed. He could go days without sleep or with just quick snatches of sleep with minimal side effects but he could not fall asleep on command like she could.

John didn’t know why he found it so endearing that she was able to do so.

He waved off the flight attendant who stopped to see if he wanted a beverage or anything and then sighed, looking down at his partner once more. He had seen all the unasked questions simmering behind her eyes ever since the phone call had ended. All of those were going to come out as soon as they found a place in Seattle and John was in no way prepared for them.

Their pasts were a topic they both carefully avoided, choosing to focus on matters at hand, on them and what they were building together. Sure, they dropped in little tidbits that hinted at covered up pasts but it was mostly just about personal preferences or a snapshot of an experience they wanted to share with the other. The big picture was always left obscured.

He dragged his hand down his face. How the hell was he going to tell Rose what she needed to know without revealing the whole sordid story?

John trusted her, he did, more than he ever thought possible. Trust, however, was not the reason he was still hiding his past. There was blood on his hands that he didn’t want Rose to know about, that he couldn’t wash off, things that he had done that he wanted to keep shrouded in the darkness of his past instead of bringing them out to examine in the harsh light of the present.

For some reason, Rose still thought he was a good man underneath all of the layers he’d built up and he desperately didn’t want to watch that faith in him die, didn’t want to see the light that always shined behind her eyes when she looked at him go out -- and it would go out -- when she realized that she had been wrong all along. He wasn’t a good man. He had made himself into a monster with a bloodstained soul years ago and then had disguised it under an almost infinite number of masks, trying to hide the truth from the world and from himself.

It had always been just a matter of time until Rose figured it out.

He just thought he would have more time.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

They got as far as dropping their bags in the extended stay hotel room they rented in Seattle before Rose turned to face him, determined look on her face and arms folded across her chest. His time was up.

“So you going to tell me who the man on the phone was, then?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. She figured diving straight into it was going to be less painful than dancing around the topic.

John swallowed hard. “Can we sit? This is likely to be a long conversation.” He gestured towards the little table in their suite that was just outside of the kitchenette.

They sat, facing each other over a corner of the table. Rose bit down on her bottom lip, nervous about pushing for this conversation but knowing that it needed to take place.

“The phone call?” she prodded when John remained silent.

He let out a deep sigh. “I’m not sure where to start.”

“You recognized the voice of the man who was after Jack, yeah?”

“I did and it’s really bad that Jack’s in his clutches.”

“Figured that out on my own,” Rose said. “Tell me about him? Who is he?”

“Goes by ‘The Master’ most of the time. Or he used to. I would guess he still does since his ego’s bigger than his sense and he likes the power trip. He’s a talented hacker and all-around criminal for hire.” He pressed his lips together in a hard line. “He’s a genius with no conscience. He enjoys inflicting pain. Doesn’t hesitate to kill people if he thinks it’s necessary or just because he thinks it will be fun or profitable.”

“Sounds like a piece of work,” Rose hazarded when he trailed off.

“He is,” he responded flatly.

“Does he have a name to go with this bio?”

“If he does, I don’t know it.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Really? You know all of that but you don’t know his name? You generally try to know everything.”

“I don’t know his name, Rose!” John ran his hand over his face in a frustrated motion. “Look, we were, for the lack of a better word, partners, a long time ago but we didn’t use our real names and he never shared. I knew him as the Master and by his other code name of Koschei and I’ve stumbled across a couple of his aliases over the years but that’s it.”

Rose felt a curious sinking sensation in her chest as she parsed through the vague bits of information he was offering. “When you say partner do you mean…” she trailed off, gesturing between the two of them.

“No. Not like us. It wasn’t anything like us and I won’t make the comparison,” he said quickly, recoiling at the mere thought of comparing what he and Rose had to the time he had spent with the Master. “And there was definitely no romance, so don’t go thinking that that’s what I meant by partner either.”

“I wasn’t!” Rose protested.

John just gave her a look.

“Fine, yes, I was thinking it,” she admitted. “Thanks for clarifying.”

He softened a bit, a rare bit of vulnerability glinting in his eyes as he reached out and rested his hand on hers. “He wasn’t even really a partner, it’s just the easiest word to use.”

Rose gave a one shouldered shrug. “Just thought the two of you being involved would explain a lot about your reluctance to get involved with me at the beginning.”

“I was never reluctant about being involved,” he protested, voice caressing the final word.

Rose snorted, taking her hand back to cross her arms over her chest as she leaned back. “You weren’t reluctant about getting me into bed but you so were reluctant about being involved.”

John conceded the point with a nod. “But there was nothing like that with Koschei. We weren’t even friends really. Not any more than we had to be when working side by side non-stop for a few years.”

He saw the skeptical tilt to Rose’s mouth but she didn’t say anything.

“I mean it,” he insisted.

“Okay, I believe you!” she responded, putting her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “What else do I need to know about him?”

John stared at her, mouth slightly agape. “You’re not going to ask me about why I was working with him or what we… what I did?”

Rose shrugged again. “You can tell me when you’re ready, if you’re ever ready. I’m not going to push you for more than what I need to be able to help save Jack.”

She paused and reached across the table for his hand before continuing. “I can’t even imagine having to dredge up my past and spill everything just because someone popped back up again and started causing trouble.” She shuddered. “Alright, I can imagine it and it’s terrible. I’m not going to make that worse for you just to satisfy my curiosity. And I am curious, for the record.”

Rose smiled at him, trying to ease some of the tension between them.

All John wanted to do in that moment was kiss her in gratitude, with all the love that he had yet to voice. He wanted to pour everything into a kiss that could make them both forget about their pasts and their current situation and focus on them for a moment.

He wanted to kiss her and, as far as he was concerned, there was no reason for him not to. He moved around the table and then leaned down and pressed his mouth to hers, kissing the question of what he was doing right off her lips.

He gave her a series of light kisses, savoring the simple sensation of their lips sliding against each other. Rose wasn’t interested in being as patient or deliberate as he was though. Using her grip on his shoulders as leverage, she pulled herself into a mostly standing position, trying to goad him into taking the kiss where she wanted it.

John smiled into the kiss when she let out a frustrated noise as he refused to open his mouth to allow her tongue entrance. He rotated them around, still holding off her attempts to deepen the kiss, and sat down in the chair she’d vacated. He pulled her down with him, eliciting a squeak from his lover as she tumbled into his lap.

As he’d expected, she wasted no time in rearranging herself so that she was straddling him and then diving back into the kiss. This time he let her coax his mouth open and he sighed happily when her tongue swept inside. It didn’t matter how many times they’d done this, she still sent shivers down his spine and sparks rushing through his veins every single time.

John retained control, keeping the kiss slow and deliberate despite Rose’s continued attempts to escalate it. He readjusted the hand he had threaded through her golden strands, changing the angle of the kiss slightly.

Rose nipped at his bottom lip and he responded by sweeping his tongue into her mouth. They were always playing this game, wrestling for dominance whether it was during a heist or a thorough snog.

It was always exhilarating even as it was now familiar.

John slowed the kiss, running his hands down her sides to rest on her hips as he pulled away. He rested his forehead against hers, just wanting to be close to her for a little bit longer. He knew they were about to face down the toughest obstacle either of them had ever encountered and he didn’t know if they’d both make it out alive, much less together.

Rose had taught him how to hope again and he was hoping with every atom of his being that they would make it through all of this together but he wasn’t going to take a single second with her for granted either.

Rose seemed to sense the change in his mood and her touch turned soothing, hand on his shoulder and thumb rubbing softly over his collarbone through his jumper. She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips before climbing off of his lap and taking the chair that had been his earlier.

“So, where do we start?” she asked.

“You’re always the one with the grand plan,” John responded. It was true, Rose had a gift for putting together a plan and thinking through all the different contingencies and potential obstacles and opportunities. He wasn’t half bad at it himself but Rose was better.

“Well, first thing we need to do is figure out where he is and where he’s holding Jack,” she mused. He could practically see the gears turning in her mind as she started to turn the problem over like a puzzle box she needed to solve.

“He usually bases himself in London, at least for something this big.”

“You know that for sure?”

“I’ve seen his fingerprints on crimes in the area in the past couple of years so I know he’s still there and drawing us back there is definitely his style.” He thought for a moment before divulging another piece of information that he’d been holding onto. “He was involved in the Agency job.”

“He was what?”

John winced at the growing anger on her face but it was still better to tell her now than keep it a secret for any longer.

“I didn’t know it when we broke into the Agency but when we pulled our first bank job I recognized his programming in the bank’s computer security and the safe deposit box that the flash drive was in was under one of his aliases, Harold Saxon.”

“And you didn’t think to share this until now?”

“It wasn’t exactly relevant until now and now I’m telling you!”

Rose took a deep breath and let it out. He was right. There was no reason for him to really share this until now and she’d known back during that first bank job that there was something about the security and the safe deposit box that he wasn’t sharing, she’d just forgotten about it.

“You’re right,” she said aloud. “I’m just on edge.”

“We both are,” he replied, accepting her unspoken apology.

“Alright, do you think that this has something to do with the Agency job, then?”

“It has to,” he said. “If it didn’t, he would just be coming after me, not after both of us. Involving Jack makes it even more likely.”

“So the question is, does he know that you’re the Doctor? Is he coming after you personally or just professionally?”

“I can’t tell. He might suspect it’s me based on how I took down the bank security but I doubt he knows for sure.”

Rose was silent for a minute. “We should probably assume he knows who you are. But you know him too so we can use your familiarity with him and his methods as an advantage.”

“Always looking at the bright side,” John quipped.

“One of us has to.”

Rose tapped her fingers on the tabletop. “If you know your way around his systems, can you access them remotely to see if they have any useful information like his location or bits of whatever he has planned?”

John shook his head. “He knows my handle and how I work. If he suspects it’s me he’ll have blocked my normal ways in. Probably blocked them anyways just to be safe. Would take longer than we have for me to hack in, especially with only the laptop. Plus, he’ll know the second I’m in his system. He’ll be waiting.”

Rose bit her bottom lip, considering their options. “What about that other hacker you were talking to last time we were in London. Oswin or something like that, yeah?”

“Clara. Her handle is Oswin.”

“That’s the one. Could you contact her and see if she can get into the system? I remember you saying that she worked a lot differently than you but was scary good.”

John stared into the middle distance over Rose’s shoulder as he mulled it over. “She could probably get in if I was distracting him at the same time. Keep him from noticing that she’s slipping in the back door.”

“Sounds good. Why don’t you try and get in touch with her? I’ll talk to some of my contacts back in London to see what the scene’s like so we know what to expect when we hit the ground since that’s our likely destination.”

“We’re going to have to leave as soon as Clara gets into the system. He’ll be able to backtrack my signal and get our location since I don’t have my normal equipment to mask it.”

“Okay. We’ll be ready,” Rose said, getting up from where she was seated and cupping his face in her hand. “We’re gonna take this bastard down.”

John didn’t say anything, just let out a slightly shaky breath and closed his eyes.

Rose pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, ran her thumb over his stubbled cheek in a quick caress and then walked away, knowing that he would want to be alone to get himself back in control. She gathered her laptop and the mobile she’d bought at the airport when they landed and set herself up on the hotel bed to get to work.

John listened as she started making calls, recognizing the posh accent she used on occasion and the fake enthusiasm she was exuding as staples of her on the grift. She must not be talking to someone she trusted. He should really start working too but his mind kept drifting back to the last time he’d seen the Master, back when he knew him only as Koschei.

“Target in sight. Two minutes to mission completion.” Koschei said into walkie talkie before glancing over at John who was watching the target through a scope. “I’m ready to get out of this hellhole. They should really send us to nicer places to kill people.”

“We do things other than kill people,” John said shortly.

Koschei rolled his eyes. “Yeah, we scout out people that they then send another team to kill. Don’t get all idealistic on me again, Theta. You know I hate that.”

“Have you ever thought about getting out? Leaving all of this?” John asked, finally glancing away from his scope.

Koschei was looking down his own scope now, sighting the target. “Well we get shit pay for this so I’ve thought about peddling my considerable talents elsewhere.” He activated his mic and began talking to their handlers again. “Mission commencing in three, two, one.”

He squeezed the trigger and a mile away the target fell to the ground.

John didn’t watch the target’s last seconds through his scope. This wasn’t what he had signed up for when a special forces unit had recruited him out of high school. They’d fast tracked him through his degree path with a few other handpicked prospects. Had pulled him out in the middle of his doctoral program and dropped him in some godforsaken desert with the other recruits to be trained.

They gave them codenames that weren’t names at all, just designations designed to make them forget they were people. John was Theta.

They’d all realized how deep they were when their first comrade died in training and their handlers didn’t skip a beat.

There were those who seemed to enjoy the ruthlessness and blood a little too much, who always volunteered to go first in the violent training “games.” John stayed as far away from them as he could, worked on swallowing down the bile in his throat whenever he ended up with hot, sticky blood on his hands, whenever the metallic scent hit his nose. He was doing what he had to survive, to try to keep at least a small piece of his soul intact.

He made it through camp without being responsible for another recruit’s death but only barely.

By the time they left training and started being sent on missions, only half of the recruits remained.

The organization paired him with Koschei, a recruit from the camp before the one John had participated in. The other man trained Theta further as they went on missions, didn’t complain or report it when Theta tried to avoid killing people himself, just took over the wet work himself.

John tried not to think about the fact that Koschei was probably one of the recruits who’d taken a little too much pleasure in camp activities. As it was, he and Koschei were partners for the foreseeable future and something akin to friends most of the time.

John flinched out of his memories when the report of the rifle sent shockwaves through their carefully chosen sniper nest. He didn’t need to look through his scope to know that someone else had just hit the ground to never rise again.

“What the hell, Koschei?” He burst out, reaching out to wrench the sniper rifle out of the other man’s hands. “The mission was a single target, you didn’t need to take out anyone else.”

“It throws investigators off when they have to figure out who the main target was,” Koschei argued, narrowing his eyes.

“You don’t even know who you just shot.”

“We never know who we’re shooting, just that we’re supposed to take them out. Stop being such a bleeding heart.”

“I’d rather have a bleeding heart than not have one,” John retorted hotly, moving to quickly unload and dismantle the rifle.

Koschei snorted in response but didn’t say anything else.

That night, when they were back in a bunker operated by the organization, John’s mobile beeped. He rolled over in the narrow bunk to read the message that had come in. It was Koschei’s mission report. John had hacked the system back at the very beginning of their partnership and had rerouted all mission reports to go through him first before they were sent to the handlers.

His heart sank and then started racing as he skimmed the report his partner had written. It contained a summary of all the times John had refused to kill a target, the instances where he had purposefully let a mission fail and the ones he had let Koschei complete even when he was instructed to do it himself. It contained information about their argument today and his expressed desire to leave the program.

It ended with a recommendation to the organization to take him out, permanently.

As quietly as he could, John gathered what little supplies were at hand and used his training to sneak out of the bunker. He had no clue if he would survive long enough to make a life outside of the living hell that was the organization when it would actively try to hunt him down for defecting, but he had to try.

He made his way across a barren stretch of land that smelled of stale dust and smoke and freedom. His heart felt lighter than it had since the organization had plucked him out of his flat in Oxford three years ago and he almost didn’t care that he was likely being hunted already.

He was free and he was never going back to that life again.

John took another shaky breath and stood to make tea, hoping that it would calm his nerves even if he did have to make it in the microwave since the American hotel didn’t provide a kettle. Koschei, or Saxon, or the Master, or whatever the hell he was calling himself these days was not going to make him run again. He braced his hands against the counter letting his head fall forward as Rose’s voice from the other room washed over him.

This time he had something he was willing to fight for and he damn well wasn’t going to let Koschei take her.

He had to assume that this whole ruse of taking Jack and luring him and Rose in was a way to get back at John for abandoning the organization, for abandoning him. It didn’t matter to Koschei that he had tagged John for removal, it mattered that he’d left without a word and John hated that he still knew a bit of how the Master’s mind worked.

He’d crossed his path a few times in the years since he left, always online in hacking circles. He and Koschei had been the organization's best cyber operatives. When they weren’t out on scouting missions or wet work missions, they’d been assigned hacking jobs together. He knew Koschei’s tricks as well as he knew his own and he’d recognized him immediately whenever he stumbled upon his work. It had been a bit of a shock to see the Master’s handiwork at the bank during the first heist with Rose. John still didn’t know if Koschei had been working for the Agency or if he’d just contracted with them for that job.

He knew the other hacker could recognize him a good portion of the time as well and there was a gnawing worry in his gut that the Master had Jack and had found them because he’d recognized John’s hacking as being the same as Theta’s. If he thought about it too much, he knew the guilt would cripple him.

He had no doubt that Koschei was still looking for him even though he no longer worked for the organization that had brought them together. He was not a forgiving person and John could only assume he’d continued on down the destructive, bloody path that he’d been on when they parted ways.

The microwave beeped, letting him know that his water was hot and he moved almost mechanically to start preparing his tea.

It would be easier to take Koschei down if he was just a psychopath bent on revenge, but John knew it wasn’t that simple. The man was as brilliant as he was deranged and it made him more than dangerous.

John didn’t know how to beat him and that scared him more than anything.

#ficandchips #nine x rose #up in flames #verse: into the fire #long chapter this time!!#thanks to #skyler10fic #for reading this over for me :))#i wrote this #into the fire verse

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