#the meatball saga

[fanartandfanfiction]

Ominis/MC drabble featuring Meatball

based on a modern AU text post I wrote, and @slythersloots suggested I write a drabble, so here you go! Eventually this will be a chapter in my "Saga of Meatball" series but I thought you all would enjoy it now.

Ominis was sitting at his desk studying when he heard knocking on his door. 

“YOOOOO-HOOOO! OMINISSS!”

He smiled to himself. It was Melody. He got up and opened the door and was immediately met with a hug. 

“You’re so soft. I think I’d like to stay here.” Melody rested her head against his chest.

Ominis sniffed. “Melody? Are you drunk?”

“A little.” She replied against his chest.

“Would you like me to escort you back to your dorm?”

“Noooo I wanna play with Meatball! Hello my little cutie patootie.” 

“What’s wrong with her?” Meatball asked as Melody picked him up and muttered incoherently. 

“She’s drunk. She drank alcohol and it lowers your inhibitions and makes you quite silly.” 

“I’m gonna try something real quick, hang on.” Melody looked Meatball intensely in the eyes “ HIIIISSSSSiiiiisssssIIIIIssss!”

“What the fuck?”

“Melody, what are you doing?” Ominis asked. 

“Speaking in parseltongue. Did he understand me?”

“Yes, he did.”

“What? It was nonsense, I don’t think it was even words, just sounds.”

“Yes, but it’ll make her happy.” Ominis replied. 

“I’m tired.” Melody said. 

“Let me take you back to your dorm.”

“Nooo I just wanna snuggle my lil Meatball!” She brought him over by Ominis’ bed. Meatball’s long body was too much for drunk Melody.

“Um, a little help?” Meatball asked. 

“Here, let me help you.” Ominis stepped forward and picked up Meatball’s tail. “How about you just sit down right there, alright?”

“Sure, sure. And you.” She grabbed at his shirt.

“No, not me. Just sit there for a-HEY!” Melody pulled him downwards onto the bed. “Melody!”

“Both my boys.” She hummed happily as she stroked Ominis’ hair. “My pretty little snake boys.” 

Ominis’ could tell she was getting drowsy, and he needed to get away from her. He didn’t want her to do something she’d regret and he was, unfortunately, very sober and very aware of her body against his on his bed. He stood up abruptly and she whined. “Just stay there and get some rest, ok? Meatball will stay with you.”

“Ok.” Melody said and laid down. Meatball crawled over and layed on her protectively. 

“I’ll keep her safe.” 

“Thank you. I need to step out.” Ominis left, flipping the light off and leaving Meatball and Melody. He headed to the one place he knew he would be alone and comfortable: the undercroft. 

He really needed to address his crush on Melody. To be honest, it was more than a crush. He loved everything about her. Her laugh, the feeling of her soft hair when it brushed against him, the warmth of her hand. She felt like a ray of sunshine after a lifetime of standing in the rain. What was he going to do?

Sebastian opened the door to their shared dorm. It was dark, so he figured Ominis was asleep. He stepped into the room and heard a low hissing. He looked towards Ominis’ bed and Meatball was sitting up and at attention, hissing at him and looking angry. “Hey, hey, it’s me. It’s fine.” Meatball relaxed slightly but still eyed him warily. The person on the bed stirred and sat up.

“Melody?!”

“Heeeey! It’s Sebastian!” Melody said excitedly. “Hey buddy!” She got up and stumbled over to him and hugged him. She looked to be wearing a party dress.

“What are you doing here?”

“Sleepin.” She answered. 

“I get that, but why are you HERE? In our room?”

“I wanted to see Meatball. And Ominis.” She suddenly burst into tears.

“Hey, woah, what’s the matter?” He held onto her as she cried against his chest. 

“He’s MAD at me!”

“Who’s mad at you?”

“Ominis! He left!”

“What do you mean he left? He just left you here by yourself?”

“With Meatball.” She sniffed. “He’s mad at me. I don’t want him to be mad at me!”

“Hang on, let me text him and see what’s going on.” Sebastian said reassuringly. Why don’t you sit back down with Meatball?”

About a half an hour after he’d left, Ominis’  phone buzzed. 

Sebastian 11:35 PM: Ominis.

Ominis 11:35 PM: Yes?

Sebastian 11:35 PM: Would you like to explain why Melody is in our room, drunk and in your bed with Meatball wrapped around her on a Saturday night and you’re not here??

Ominis 11:36 PM: Oh, I meant to text you. She showed up drunk and said she wanted to cuddle Meatball. I made her sit down and she tried to take me with her. So I left her and Meatball on my bed.

Sebastian 11:36 PM: So Melody was drunk and tried to climb into your bed with you and you ran away?

Ominis 11:36 PM: Of course. She’s drunk. Are you saying you would have let her crawl into bed with you?

Sebastian 11:37 PM: I wouldn’t do anything, if that’s what you’re implying, but I’d stay with her. And by the way, now she’s awake and crying because she thinks you’re mad at her.

Shit. He shouldn’t have left her. She was drunk and confused and upset. He had just been overwhelmed and anxious. His phone began buzzing again. 

Melody 11:38 PM: r u mad at me? 😣

Melody 11:38 PM: I just love Meatball

Melody 11:38 PM: And u

Melody 11:38 PM: whoops

Melody 11:39 PM: cats outta the bag!

Melody 11:39 PM: who put a cat in a bag anyway? Thats mean

Melody 11:39 PM: where did u go?

Melody 11:39 PM: O no. U dont like me

Melody 11:40 PM: Im sorry

Melody 11:40 PM: dont be mad, k?

Melody 11:40 PM: sorry

She loved him? Did she mean it? Or was she just drunk? And did she mean it like “you’re my friend and I love you” or “I LOVE you?” She seemed surprised she’d sent it. Regardless, he needed to reply to her.

Ominis 11:41 PM: I’m sorry, I’m coming back. I’m not mad at you, I shouldn’t have left. And this is a discussion we should have when you’re sober.

Melody 11:41 PM: 🐍🐍🐍

Melody 11:41 PM: that was meatball sayin hi

He needed to go back and handle this like an adult. He’d been foolish to just run away because he was scared of his own feelings. He headed back to their dorm. 

“Melody, please put that down.” Sebastian said as Melody held up a trophy. 

“What’d you win an award for? Being a big DORK?” She asked and then giggled. 

“You’re kind of a mean drunk.” He grumbled. He stood up and took the trophy and she tried to reach for it. He held it up out of her reach and she huffed. Then she jumped on him. 

Ominis approached their door and heard weird sounds coming from inside. Were they fighting? He pushed open the door and heard Sebastian.

“Melody! Stop it!”

“I wanna SEEEEE!”

“Get off of me, you leech!”

“What the hell is going on?!” Ominis said from the doorway. 

“Your girlfriend here is a handful when she’s drunk. She keeps grabbing my stuff.”

“You won’t let me see it!” Melody protested. 

“It’s glass and sharp and you don’t need it!”

“Ugh!” Melody huffed. 

“Perhaps I should have kept him safe from her. He crumpled like a leaf when she jumped on him.” Meatball said. 

Ominis chuckled. “Melody, hey, come sit down, alright?”

“Ok.” Melody said as she got off the floor.

“I think you bruised me!” Sebastian grumbled.

Melody sat on the bed and Meatball slithered over. “Hey little buddy.” She said and stroked his head. 

“I’m sorry I left you. I’m not mad at you. Are you alright?” 

“Fine.” She leaned over and whispered loudly “Sebastian is kind of a wimp.”

“I heard that.” Sebastian replied. 

“Melody, do you want me to take you back to your dorm?”

“No. I wanna stay here. Slumber party! Woohoo!” She grabbed Ominis’ pillow. “PILLOW FIGHT!” She leaped towards Sebastian and Ominis heard the “THWUMP.”

“Merlin’s beard, why are you so violent?!” He attempted to shield himself as Melody giggled and beat him with a pillow. She finally collapsed into laughter and sat beside Sebastian and gave him a side hug. 

“Ominis.” Sebastian said flatly, clearly annoyed. 

“Melody, how about you come sit over here with Meatball and leave Sebastian alone?”

“I wanna fight him!” She replied. 

“No, you’re not going to fight Sebastian. What exactly did you drink?”

“Whiskeeeey! Garreth snuck it in.”

“If I sit here with you, will you get some sleep?”

“Yep.” She said happily. 

“Here.” Sebastian tossed her an extra pair of his pajamas. “We’ll step out, you change, alright?”

“It’s fine!” Melody stood up and began unzipping her dress.

“Woah, woah! Ominis is blind, not me. Hang on.” Sebastian grabbed Ominis and hauled him out of the room. 

“Was she taking her clothes off in front of you?” Ominis asked, red tingeing his cheeks. 

“She just unzipped the top of her dress. It looked pretty uncomfortable, so I gave her some of my pajamas.”

“That was nice of you, considering she wanted to fight you.” Ominis smiled. 

“Yeah, tomorrow I’m asking Garreth what exactly he snuck in, because she was aggressive.”

They both turned their heads at the sound of music inside. Ominis sighed. “What now?”

“Do we assume she’s dressed?” Sebastian asked.

“Hang on, stay out here.” He opened the door enough for Meatball to hear him. 

“Did she put on the clothes?”

“Half of them. Just the top half.” He replied.

“Shit. She doesn’t have pants on.”

“You’re up, buddy.” Sebastian said, patting his shoulder. 

Ominis sighed and pushed the door open. “Melody. Please put some pants on.”

“Too big! They fell off.”

“Her bottom is covered, if that’s your concern.” Meatball said to him. 

“Fine. Sebastian, you can come in.”

Sebastian tentatively stepped into the room. Melody was dancing around wearing just his shirt, but due to their size difference, it was basically a nightgown on her. “Sebby! Dance with meeee!”

“Melody, you said you’d go to bed. Come on, time to rest.” Ominis said, guiding her to the bed. Sebastian flipped the music off. 

“Stay with me.” She said. 

“If I do, will you rest?”

“Yep.”

“Fine.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and he felt Melody crawl onto the bed beside him. She snuggled against his side and Meatball wrapped himself around them both.

“Aaaaaaw.” Sebastian said as Melody fell asleep.

“Don’t even.” Ominis glared.

#hogwarts legacy #fanfic #hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy modern au #hogwarts legacy texting #ominis gaunt #sebastian sallow #meatball #meatball the snake #hogwarts legacy ominis #hogwarts legacy sebastian

[chordsykat]

I got some long-overdue retaliation art for y'all to consume, tonight! Working with painted sketches again, so I can get some more practice with it :9

Bailee for @dynamesvirtue as a thank you for this post with all our OCs. Noticed she's been rocking the purple hair at a longer length, and wanted to try it out in front of some spring blossoms. Oooo @.@

JD for @vicekings for this post with all our babies. Wanted to try sketching him in his Klokateer clothes, which never happens. :D I believe the title of this picture is jdwearingclothes.jpg.

A Vivi and a Swedish Meatball for @pan-flute-skeleton who got me with a whole freaking fanfic. It was hard to pick a scene from her fic, Syndrome, but I settled on something cute and cuddly in the Dethlimo. :D

And finally... A Lasagna for @goblin-a-gogo as a thank you for continuing this ongoing saga with one of my own characters. Seriously, though -- you wanna be a rockstar just taking a walk and don't care to talk to the press? Bring an adorable baby with you to distract them. :D

Y'all didn't have to do such nice things for me, but you did anyway. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for brightening my whole week - every single one of you. :)

#mtl #mtl oc #metalocalypse #dethklok #bailee slyfoot #jd walker #vivi skarsgård #lasagna the not drummer #skwisgaar skwigelf #pickles the drummer #my art

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #563

Top Ten Moments in The Transformers’ Lost Light Saga

I’ve written about Transformers a lot on here. I’d be surprised if it wasn’t the single thing I’d written blogs about the most (followed by the MCU and then, I dunno, probably Hey Duggee). It’s the biggest “thing” in my life – the media franchise I enjoy and engage with the most. And I’ve definitely ranked favourite moments before. But I wanted to return to it – yet again – for a couple of reasons.

2012 marks the ten-year anniversary of my favourite run of Transformers, across its entire nearly-forty-year history: the comics More Than Meets the Eye and Lost Light. These comics, written by James Roberts in collaboration with several artists (but predominantly Alex Milne and Jack Lawrence), tell one epic tale of friendship, tragedy, comedy, political discourse, allegory, and references to obscure British pop culture. As it happens, I’ve re-read the entire series whilst on tour with the BBC, so it’s all fresh in my mind; also another reason to revisit it in a list.

There’s another, kinda serendipitous reason to look back over IDW’s time with Transformers. This week just gone, the last ever Transformers book published by IDW was released. It is, I think, sixteen years since they first had the licence, and the breadth of great comics they’ve produced – from the first Infiltration series by Simon Furman and EJ Su to the most recent continuity written by Brian Ruckley, by way of MTMTE, Robots in Disguise, Furman and Andrew Wildman continuing their nineties G1 run in Regeneration One, and the recent sort-of-not-in-continuity Last Bot Standing by Nick Roche and – him again – EJ Su – is remarkable. It’s a hell of a run, the best the franchise has ever been handled by one company. No film, no animated series, no other published comics come close for me. How the merry hell do they follow this?

For the first time, though, I’m singling out one specific arc – the Lost Light Saga, for want of a better title (I would also consider “Sad Gay Robots in Space”) – and just picking the best bits. I’m also doing deep on why they’re the best. And I’m going to try to say where you can find this great bit of a great comic!

This is a celebration. I want that to come through. I hope that when all is said and done – and this might end up being my last word on the Lost Light – that the myriad reasons why I adore this series is evident. The nuance of the writing, the fidelity of the artwork, the breadth of the allusion, the comedy, pathos, empathy, sadness, love. It’s a masterful piece of work that had me tearing up multiple times, sometimes over bits that I didn’t remember or that just didn’t hit me first time round.

Also, y’know, spoilers. I’ll put a break in. But if you do want to enjoy the saga in its entirety, maybe don’t read this list. Buy the paperbacks, get it on Kindle, scour your local comic shop for back issues. And then maybe you’ll join me in wishing happy birthday to the greatest iteration of my favourite franchise.

And I really want to emphasise that. Transformers really is my thing. it was the first cartoon and comic I fell in love with. It’s remained more important to me than, say, Star Wars or the MCU, or other childhood loves like Ghostbusters, Turtles, and even my beloved orange meatball with stripes, Garfield. Transformers is really the only thing I can see myself going to conventions for on the reg, a thing that just speaks to me, that I get unequivocally nerdy about. I wouldn’t say it’s like a religion but it probably occupies the same irreducible part of my soul that, like all the cultural bits of Catholicism, will never leave me, no matter what. And all of that – the length and breadth of it, the joys and sorrows, the heart and soul – my favourite bit of Transformers are these comics. I think I’ve said it before, but they achieved something.

“Don’t change back”: the arc of Megatron becoming an Autobot was one of those it’ll-never-work things that did work, and it worked so damn well. It became an examination of corruption and ideology and self-determinism and, well, the nature of tyranny, but also guilt and acceptance. Megatron, now a determined pacifist, is compelled back to violence to defend his new friends, but in doing so slaps a Decepticon badge over his Autobot one. When the dying Ravage – always sceptical and disapproving of his former boss’s change to the red team – notices, he reaches his hand out to touch the badge and says “don’t change back”. Back to what? Back to being an Autobot? Or back to being a Decepticon? These were his last words, and we’ll never know what they mean. And I really need to underline, Ravage is one of my favourite characters, and this is how he died. It just helps to underline the massive schism in Megatron’s psyche, his own continued self-doubt, the betrayal his former friends now feel, and – yes – his continued guilt. Quite how this ridiculous plot thread, imposed upon the writer by the publisher, turned into the cornerstone and most compelling element of the entire run is just exceptional writing and character work.

“Even Team Whirl”: this is two-fold because it’s a great moment and a call-back. The first time we see Whirl he’s about to kill himself. He’s filled with self-loathing because he’s been abused and mistreated, he’s a violent loner who’s alienated all his friends, and because he might have started the war in the first place. He’s a horrible person who we don’t really like but very slowly we grow to love him as he opens up. And then when Rodimus gives to inspire everyone he includes Whirl – “even Team Whirl” he says – and Whirl does seem to notice. Then, at the very end, Whirl has enough self-belief in his own latent goodness that he can open the Matrix, saying to himself “Even… Team… Whirl…”. So it’s partly the story of Whirl’s redemption and how he learns to believe in himself, and also a story about how Rodimus is just a cool guy and super-inspiring.

“Goodnight, little one”: after Getaway grooms and gaslights Tailgate, he outlines the four steps a Transformer takes to codify their relationship (basically, wedding vows). Tailgate is rescued by Cyclonus, but as they’re pinned down by security forces, we see the four steps play out again: actions that Cyclonus has taken over the years – instinctively, selflessly, without thinking – that prove how much he’s always loved Tailgate. It’s a heartbreaking encapsulation of their relationship when Tailgate realises all of this, realises Cyclonus is the right one after all. Then Cyclonus is shot to pieces.

“Megatron was able to open it when you couldn’t…”: might need a bit of explaining this, but the whole saga ends with the team opening multiple Matrixes (Matrices?) at the same time. Except they only open if you feel like you deserve to open them, that you’re good enough. Throughout, Rodimus has been an egocentric do-gooder who wants everyone to think he’s ace; that he’s a true Prime, essentially. He opens his Matrix effortlessly. But later he tells a court that he couldn’t open it, but Megatron could; he lies to the universe to try to get them to pardon the guy who started the war and once tried to kill him. This evolution of their relationship and his own personality is so beautifully sad and, ultimately, heroic. Like a true Prime.

“I love you”: why are so many of these sad? Despite what I said about Tailgate and Cyclonus, the defining relationship of the series is Chromedome and Rewind. One can read people’s minds by injecting their skulls; the other is constantly recording everything and saving the footage to a vast database. When Rewind dies, Chromedome wants to remove the memories of his dead love from his own mind; but a recording by Rewind, spliced together from dozens of different videos, leaves him a beautiful but tragic message from beyond the grave, culminating in three very simple words. Chromedome decides not to wipe his own mind.

“Remember me as I was”: one of the best long-running arcs in the series was the frequent flashbacks to old Cybertron (we’ll see more of this later). The mysterious, unnamed senator who befriended Orion Pax – with his vibrant, ever-changing colour scheme and propensity for emotional outbursts – is a mysterious and slightly sinister character. What’s his game? Is he grooming Orion? And then as the real sinister villains take over, the scale of the senator’s punishment is horrific and severe and we discover that his face, hands, and entire personality has been irrevocably altered, and he was in fact the cold, emotionless, logical Shockwave, one of the most notorious Decepticons. It’s a terrific origin for a popular character, suitably shocking and unexpected; a great twist.

“We’re going to steal the Matrix”: still back in the past for this, another classic cliffhanger ending. After establishing Orion Pax as the supercop who can’t be stopped, we have a number of plot threads converge as the scale of the evil Cybertronian Senate and the sinister, fascistic Functionists becomes apparent. Knowing what must be done, Orion hatches a simple but impossible plan: steal the Matrix. It turns a flashback mystery-cum-character piece into, all of a sudden, a Cybertronian heist movie; Orion’s Eleven. And it is, of course, excellent.

“It happened off-panel”: it’s a funny book, this, and sometimes you just need a good gag. I was tempted to include the Holiday Special and its “Contrivance Engine”, but really my favourite of the Red Dwarf-style silly sci-fi gags is the Meta-Bomb – “it blows a hole in the fourth wall”. Swerve – comic relief with a tragic backstory – presses it and instantly becomes a sort of metafictional narrator, semi-outside of the narrative, not quite Deadpool but a step removed. The fact that this gag, making use of and fun of the comics medium, is great in and of itself is one thing; but it also sets up further developments down the road. And that’s the funny thing about comedy; the banter and the gags makes you fall in love with the characters, so when a writer twists the knife it hurts that much more.

“Tell Whirl he can have my hands”: Ratchet is a grumpy doc with a heart of gold, but it’s the grumpiness that comes to the fore more often. His Spock/McCoy banter with Drift is a solid part of the story’s early years, and one would be forgiven for thinking Ratchet was a hard, flinty sort. But when the chips are down – faced with a rampaging Overlord and certain death – he doesn’t flinch for a second, defending the needy and immediately barking orders, bestowing favours and generosity. Whirl’s loss of hands and the abuse that loss signifies is a great weight on his soul, and instantly Ratchet offers to alleviate that. It’s so fast, so instant a thought, that its generosity takes me by surprise.

“It’s not funny at all. It’s tragic”: we end where we began, with Megatron’s redemption, and once again with a fashback narrative – here Megatron talking via a sort of time travel phone with not-Optimus-yet Orion Pax. Pax, assuming he’s talking to the Megatron of his own time, is a big fan of his future foe, wants to get him to join the fight; Megatron, speaking from the future, drops a couple of cryptic references to their eventual animosity. There are shades of Macbeth or Milton’s Satan when he says he couldn’t turn back now even if he wanted to, but he acknowledges he will join Pax “eventually”. Tragic doesn’t cover it.

There we are then. I don’t know what else to say. I’m sad it’s over but I’m happy it happened. We achieved something. Oh boy.

#top ten #transformers #idw publishing #idw transformers #comics #more than meets the eye #mtmte #lost light

[yandere-toons]

CURRENT FANDOMS

-- Alphabetised by Title --

★ No need to limit yourself to what's here! This is more of a formality than anything concrete.

Novels:

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Dune

Durarara!!

The Great Gatsby

The Hobbit

The Hunger Games

IT

The Lord of the Rings

Mortal Engines

No Country for Old Men

Percy Jackson & the Olympians

Ready Player One

The Silence of the Lambs

A Song of Ice and Fire

Star Wars: Dark Disciple

Comics & Manga:

Beastars

Blue Exorcist

Boku no Hero Academia

Death Note

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba

Disney Duck Comics

Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

Kamonohashi Ron no Kindan Suiri

Scott Pilgrim

Soul Eater

Tokyo Ghoul

The Transformers: More than Meets the Eye

Watchmen

Films:

Accepted (2006)

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Airplane!

The Angry Birds Movie

Argylle

Austin Powers

Back to the Future

The Bad Guys (2022)

Bad Ronald (1974)

Bad Taste (1987)

Balto (1995)

Bambi (1942)

Bambi II (2006)

The Banana Splits Movie

Barbie (2023)

Batman Begins

Batman Forever

The Beekeeper (2024)

Beetlejuice (1988)

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

Big Hero 6

Black Christmas (1974)

The Black Phone

The Book of Life

Brave (2012)

Brother Bear

A Bug's Life

Bullet Train (2022)

Cars (2006)

Chickenhare and the Hamster of Darkness

Chicken Little

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Con Air (1997)

Coneheads

Coraline

Corpse Bride

Cowboys & Aliens

Deadpool (2016)

Deadpool & Wolverine

Despicable Me

Detective Pikachu

Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010)

Dracula: Dead and Loving It

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

Elemental

The Emperor's New Groove

Encanto

Enchanted

Exchange Student Zero

An Extremely Goofy Movie

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Fast & Furious Saga

Fear Street Trilogy (2021)

FernGully: The Last Rainforest

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)

Free Guy (2020)

Frozen (2013)

Galaxy Quest (1999)

Ghost Rider (2007)

Glass Onion

Godzilla

A Goofy Movie

Grease (1978)

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio

The Happytime Murders

Haunted Mansion

Hellboy (2004)

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Hercules (1997)

The Hobbit Trilogy

Hocus Pocus

Holes (2003)

Home (2015)

Home Alone (1990)

Hotel Transylvania

Howard the Duck (1986)

How to Train Your Dragon

The Hunger Games

Ice Age

The Incredibles

Inside Out

IT (2017)

John Wick

The Jungle Book (1967)

Jurassic Park

Jurassic World

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Knives Out

Kung Fu Panda

Legally Blonde

The LEGO Batman Movie

The LEGO Movie

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LEGO Star Wars Summer Vacation

Lift (2024)

Lilo & Stitch

The Lion King (1994)

The Lion King II: Simba's Pride

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

The Lorax (2012)

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Luca (2021)

Luck (2022)

Mad Max Saga

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Mean Girls (2004)

Meet the Feebles

The Meg

Meg 2: The Trench

Megamind

Minions: The Rise of Gru

Mission: Impossible

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

The Mitchells vs. the Machines

Monkey King Reborn

Monsters, Inc.

Monsters University

Monsters vs. Aliens

Mulan (1998)

My Little Pony: A New Generation

My Little Pony: The Movie (2017)

Napoleon Dynamite

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Night at the Museum

The Nightmare Before Christmas

No Country for Old Men

NOPE (2022)

Onward

Open Season (2006)

Osmosis Jones

Over the Hedge

Pacific Rim

Paddington

Penguins of Madagascar (2014)

The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

Pirates of the Caribbean

Planet of the Apes

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

Rango

Ready Player One (2018)

Renfield

Return to Oz

Rio (2011)

Rise of the Guardians (2012)

The Road to El Dorado

RoboCop (1987)

Robots (2005)

Rock Dog

Ron's Gone Wrong

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Shark Tale

Shaun of the Dead

Shrek

Sing (2016 & 2021)

Small Soldiers (1998)

Sonic the Hedgehog

Spaceballs

Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money

Space Jam

Spider-Verse Trilogy

Spies in Disguise

Star Trek

Star Wars

Storks (2016)

The Suicide Squad (2021)

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Surf's Up

The Terminator

Titanic (1997)

Toy Story

Treasure Planet (2002)

Trolls (2016)

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

Turning Red

Vivo (2021)

Whiplash

Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

Wreck-It Ralph

X-Men

“ASTEROID CITY”

TV Series & Web Series:

The Adventures of Sam & Max: Freelance Police

The Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin

Adventure Time

Alvin and the Chipmunks

The Amazing World of Gumball

American Dad!

American Dragon: Jake Long

American Gods

Amphibia

Animaniacs

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Ash vs Evil Dead

Barry (HBO)

Bates Motel

The Batman (2004)

Batman: The Animated Series

Better Call Saul

Big City Greens

Bigtop Burger

Black Clover

Bluey

Bob's Burgers

BoJack Horseman

Breaking Bad

Buzz Lightyear of Star Command

Camp Camp

Carmen Sandiego

Cars on the Road

Clone High

Codename: Kids Next Door

Count Duckula

Courage the Cowardly Dog

The Cuphead Show!

Danger Mouse

Danny Phantom

Dan Vs.

Darkwing Duck

The Devil Is a Part-Timer!

Dexter's Laboratory

Dinosaurs

Diriliş: Ertuğrul

Doctor Who

Dogs in Space

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared

Dorohedoro

Duck Dodgers

DuckTales (1987 & 2017)

Exchange Student Zero

Freakazoid!

Futurama

Game of Thrones

Gargoyles

Good Omens

Goosebumps

Gotham

Gravity Falls

Green Eggs and Ham (Netflix Series)

Gregory Horror Show

The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Grimm

Happy Tree Friends

Harley Quinn

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Hero: 108

House of the Dragon

Inside Job (2021)

Inspector Gadget (1983)

Invader ZIM

Kim Possible

King of the Hill

The Lion Guard

Looney Tunes

The Looney Tunes Show

Love, Death & Robots

Making Fiends

The Mandela Catalogue

Max Headroom

the middle.

Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series

Milo Murphy's Law

Mob Psycho 100

Modern Family

Monkie Kid

Monsters at Work

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

Mystery Skulls Animated

Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu

The Office

OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes

Our Flag Means Death

Overlord

The Owl House

Peaky Blinders

The Penguins of Madagascar

Phineas and Ferb

Pinky and the Brain

Popee the Performer

The Powerpuff Girls

Primal

The Proud Family

Regular Show

The Righteous Gemstones

Salad Fingers

Samurai Jack

The Sandman

Schitt's Creek

Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

Shameless

Shaolin Wuzang

Silicon Valley

Silly Symphony

The Simpsons

Sonic Prime

Sonic X

Soul Eater

Space Force

SpongeBob SquarePants

Spooky Month

Star Trek

Star vs. the Forces of Evil

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Static Shock

Succession

Superjail!

Superstore

Tabaluga

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teen Titans (2003)

Tiny Toon Adventures

Tom and Jerry

Total Drama

Transformers: Prime

True Detective

Twin Peaks

The Umbrella Academy

Underverse

Villainous

The Walking Dead

Wander Over Yonder

We Bare Bears

Welcome Home

What If...?

X-Men: Evolution

Xiaolin Showdown

The Yogi Bear Show

Zig & Sharko

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead

Music:

Gorillaz

The Purple People Eater

Board Games:

Monopoly

Video Games:

At Dead of Night

Batman: The Enemy Within

Borderlands

Crash Bandicoot

Cuphead: Don't Deal with the Devil

Danganronpa

Deltarune

Destroy All Humans!

Dialtown

Dino Crisis

Don't Starve

Eloquent Countenance

Fallout: New Vegas

Far Cry

Five Nights at Freddy's

Friday Night Funkin'

God of War

Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee

Grand Theft Auto V

Guardians of the Galaxy: The Telltale Series

John Doe

L.A. Noire

LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga

Lollipop Chainsaw

Lucius

Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy

Mass Effect

MazM: Jekyll and Hyde

Middle-earth: Shadow of War

Monkey Island

Monster Prom

Mortal Kombat

Naughty Bear

Nicktoons Unite!

Oddworld

Outlast

PaRappa the Rapper

Pathologic

Psychonauts

Rampage: Total Destruction

Ratchet & Clank

Red Dead Revolver

Resident Evil

Road 96

Silent Hill

Slime Rancher

Smile For Me

Sonic the Hedgehog

Total War: Warhammer III

Uncharted

Undertale

#Navigation #Fandom List #Fandoms #Yandere #Reader Insert

[reckless-rider]

A list no one asked for! Anyway a list of all the Wilhelm Screams found in media according to IMDB Part 1.

Happy Family

1000 Ways to Die

16 Blocks

2.0

21 Jump Street

22 Jump Street

30 Days of Night 

Lost  (S5.E6) 

51

6:66 PM

A Christmas Story Christmas 

A Day to Die

A Dog’s Way Home

A Goofy Movie

A Simple Request

Simpsons (S32.E10)

A Star Is Born

Abominable 

Accepted 

Agent Cody Banks

Ainoat oikeat

Aladdin (2019)

Aladdin (1992)

Alex Cross

Dexter: Early Cuts (S1.E2)

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (S1.E14) 

Aloha

Always

American Hero

Manipulated by Fingers

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy 

The Angry Birds Movie

Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie

Animator vs. Animation V

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (S3.E8)

Arctic Dogs 

Are We Done Yet?

Assignment to Kill

Astro Boy

Asterix: The Secret of the Magic Potions

Atomic Blonde

Avatar 

Avengers: Infinity War

April and the Extraordinary World 

Game of Thrones (S1.E9)

Leap!

Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2

Barbie in the Pink Shoes

Batman Returns

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Battle Creek Brawl

Baywatch 

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Money Heist (S2.E6)

Ben 10: Race Against Time 

Beta Test

Clarence (S3.E12)

Bionicle: The Legend Reborn

Black Sheep

Mythbusters (S9.E6)

Family Guy (S6.E1)

Bolt

House (S7.E15)

Bon Bini Holland

Borrowed Time

Bounty Killer

Brainstorming 

Bratz

Calamity Jane: Wild West Legend

Captain America: The First Avenger 

Cars

Cars 2

Lupin (S2.E5)

Stars Wars: Clone Wars (S2.E7)

Stars Wars: Clone Wars (S3.E4)

The Book of Boba Fett (S1.E7)

Chisum

Stars Wars: Clone Wars (S3.E20)

Clash of the Titans

Clifford the Big Red Dog 

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2

Colin 

Fast & Furious Spy Racers (S2.E4)

Amphibia (S3.E11)

Blindspot (S2.E5)

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Corto Maltese (S1.E1)

Community (S3.E18)

Cowboys & Aliens

Cradle 2 the Grave 

Crawlspace

Fantasy Island (S4.E8)

Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales (S1.E2)

Community (S2.E18)

Dragon Wars: D-War

DOA: Dead or Alive

Daddy’s Home

Daddy’s Perfect Little Girl 

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (S7.E7)

Dante’s Peak

Agency of Vengeance: Dark Rising 

Date Movie

Day & Night

De film van Dylan Haegens

Deadpool 2

Lego Star Wars: All-Stars (S1.E3)

Death Proof

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (S2.E20)

Two Is a Family

Despicable Me

Despicable Me 2

Diary of a Wimpy Kid 

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days 

The Goldfish 

Die Hard with a Vengeance 

DieRy

Dinocroc vs. Supergator

Dinoshark

Drawn Together (S1.E6)

Distant Drums

District 9

Django Unchained 

Community (S3.E8)

Doom

Littlest Pet Shop (S1.E23)

Down by the Riverside 

Due Date 

Galavant (S1.E6)

Blizzards of Souls

Maverick (S3.E10)

Ein Rabe namens Poe

Elf: Buddy’s Musical Christmas

Encanto

Enchanted 

Star Trek Phase II (S1.E6)

Enthiran

Community (S2.E6)

Toren C (S2.E2)

Maverick (S2.E6)

Evening Class

Ever After High: Dragon Games

Everything Wrong with… (S9.E100)

Everything Wrong with… (S10.E105)

Everything Wrong with… (S4.E24)

Regular Show (S4.E1)

Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales (S1.E1)

Explorers 

Extinct

Outlander (S3.E13)

F9: The Fast Saga 

Face Eater 

Fantastic Four

Feast 

Feels Good Man

Doom Patrol (S2.E5)

Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales (S1.E4)

Flushed Away 

Regular Show (S6.E16)

Freddy vs. Ghostbusters

Free Guy

Fresh 

The Simpsons (S28.E2)

The Loud House (S1.E2)

Community (S5.E5)

Getaway

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance 

Ghost Rock

Ghosted 

God of War

God of War III

Golden Dreams

Grabbers

CSI: NY (S1.E4)

Gremlins 2: The New Batch

Grey Eyes

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

SMG4 (S6.E36)

Guns Akimbo

Family Guy (S20.E14)

Hacksaw Ridge 

Halo Wars

Hancock

Hardcore Henry 

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

Harper 

Hellboy 

Star Wars: Rebels (S3.E5)

Hercules 

The Boys (S3.E6)

Schnitzel Paradise 

Hillary’s America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party 

Epic Rap Battles of History (S3.E1)

Hitman: Agent 47

Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu (S1.E2)

Home Team

Masters of Horror (S1.E6)

Homefront

How 13 Props are Made for Movies and TV

How It Should Have Ended (S9.E2)

How It Should Have Ended (S8.E18)

Howard the Duck

A Frozen Rooster

I Am David

Impasse

In a Valley of Violence

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Inglourious Basterds 

Injustice 

Inspector Gadget (S2.E26)

Community (S2.E17)

Ultimate Spider-Man (S2.E12)

Jason and the Argonauts

Jiu Jitsu 

Jumanji: The Next Level

Juno

Just Visiting 

Justice 

Katy Perry: Roar

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (S3.E10)

Keeping Up with the Joneses

Kill Bill: Vol. 1

Cyanide and Happiness Shorts (S1.E140)

Kill Possible 

Nostalgia Critic (S12.E28)

King Kong

Kingdom of Heaven

Klitschko

Knight Rider (S1.E3)

Steven Universe (S4.E2)

Knowing

From Up on Poppy Hill

Kung Fu Panda

Lego Star Wars Summer Vacation 

Dogmatix and the Indomitables (S1.E15)

Land of the Pharaohs

Tad: The Lost Explorer

The Legend of Hallowaiian

Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return

Legion of Iron

Lego Beyond Worlds

Lego Marvel Super Heroes: Maximum Overload

Lego the Lord of the Rings: The Video Game

Leprechaun 6: Back 2 Tha Hood

Lethal Weapon 2

Lethal Weapon 4

License to Wed

#another list besties #but I hit the limit so it has to be in parts oops #theres all sorts of media from shows to video games to yt vids to movies lmao

[annislittleshopofhorrors]

I know the dick pic. Just tell us about the likes and follows. Why don't you just update the timelin?//

Anon as someone who was active in the fandom at that time, nothing related to the current shitshow started back then. In fact we had just gotten a clean end to the LJ saga after he announced on Bill Maher that he was in London for some work. He was posting throwbacks and thirst traps and tree pics at that time.

Some people also forget, this technological noob meatball accidentally leaked his dpic because he was screen-recording a video he wanted to post on his IG stories and accidentally left in the part where he exits the video and we see a quick look at his gallery. I remember some eagle-eyed fans saw the pics on the gallery and said they were 2-3 years old. He was maybe moving items to another phone(I remember this theory because someone pointed out how he showed he had 2 phones in that actors on actors interview he did with Paul Rudd over zoom during lockdown)

In 2020 when the leak happened he hadn't even followed Alba, that would happen 3+ months later sometime in December.

Gosh I can't believe my 2020 jobless ass was so invested in all this shit and remembers all these details dafkjngkanf, sorry for the essay Annie😭

Lol and thanks. But I guess the anon wanted to know about the likes and follows that happened right before. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[haveievermentioned]

I'm still on the "Alan Wake 2 for HHN" train so here is my idea for their food booth! (My brother suggested one food option)

Minor spoilers for Alan Wake 2, it's character and location names that were in pre release material.

The Oh Deer Diner. Location: across from Mel's Die in. Offerings

1) the sudden chop by Alan Wake: a beef brisket sandwich with coffee infused sauce.

2) Mr. Door's Reuben. Traditional NY reuben.

3) Saga's Family recipe swedish Meatballs (vegetarian or meat versions. Comes on a skewer or in a small sub)

4) Rose's Cherry pie. A single serving pie

5) Coffee world's Bright Falls blend coffee! (Served black) (possible 3 variations. Casey is black, Ilmo has slightly sweetened, Jaako is the most sweetened)

6) old God's moonshine (some kind of cocktail/mocktail)

7) Ahma beer.

The beer and coffee are ideally from companies local to the area.

#hhn #halloween Horror Nights #alan Wake #alan wake 2 #hhn 33

[booklindworm]

Amatakka word list, part 1

ah, akh - alas (not gendered) [BLW]

ahap - dune boars, non-sapient mammaloid creatures native to Tatooine, large, porcine, dangerous to hunt but good foodstuff (n) [BLW]

ahrisa - small meatballs made with filler greens and legumes, usually served in small portions (not gendered) [The Phantom Menace]

aila - mist, smoke (from Ryl) (not gendered) [BLW] I used the Ryl as described in the Star Wars Roleplaying Game Galactic Campaign Guide

a - in, into, inside (not gendered) [BLW]

aka - snippets, little items decorated with symbols used as protective or good-luck talismans (not gendered) [conjecture re kuunaka]

akkar, akar - 1 wind, especially a strong wind (not gendered) [conjecture re umakkar]

akkar, akar - 2 name of Akar Hinil, folk hero said to have led a series of successful freedom raids for years (m) [fialleril, August 16, 2016]

akka - sentient being, person (any person), the plural is akkan [BLW]

akkilu murek - acid lizard, a gigantic reptile with acidic saliva and purple, green-mottled scales that lives in the Tatooine underground caves (the name literally means purple beast) (n) [Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia //translation by BLW]

akku, akki - sweetheart (n) - it’s most often used by a parent speaking to a child, but it can also be an endearment between lovers. [fialleril, december 23, 2016]

akku-ka - sweetheart (m) [conjecture re akku]

akku-ke - sweetheart (o) [conjecture re akku]

akku-ku - sweetheart (f) [conjecture re akku]

alpalu - banthajerky (not gendered) [BLW]

alut - orange, the color of storms, chaos and danger, but also resistance (not gendered) [tumblr @fialleril, June 01, 2016 //translation by BLW]

amakassu - daughter of the Mother (f) [fialleril, June 20, 2016]

amakurra - porridge made for expectant (pregnant or gravid) people, lit "mother-strengthening food" (not gendered) [fialleril, March 09, 2015]

amakuuna - 1 Mother’s promise, a symbol used on snippets (not gendered) [Double Agent Vader 9 Trickster Steals the Moon]

amakuuna - 2 Amatakka name for the largest of Tatooine's three moons, the Hutts call it Ghomrassen (not gendered) [Double Agent Vader 9 Trickster Steals the Moon]

amaleia - Mother’s Dragon, You carry the dragon inside you, For you have always been and always will be free (n) [Naasade-Saga DS 3 Fallout]

amanoma - son of the Mother (m) [fialleril, June 20, 2016]

ama - of or for a mother (from amu, mother) (not gendered) [conjecture re: amakuuna, amarattu, amatakka, amavikka]

amarattu - Mother’s protection, a symbol used on snippets (not gendered) [Double Agent Vader 4 The Slave Who Makes Free]

amatakka - Mother's tongue, the language of the Amavikka people (not gendered) [fialleril, January 11, 2017]

amavikka - child of Ar-amu, child of the Amavikka (n) [fialleril, January 11, 2017]

amavikka-ka - child/son of Ar-amu, of the Amavikka (m) [conjecture re Amavikka]

amavikka-ke - third- or fourthgender child of Ar-amu, of the Amavikka (o) [conjecture re Amavikka]

amavikka-ku - child/daughter of Ar-amu, of the Amavikka (f) [conjecture re Amavikka]

amee - 1 amee bush; the inner bark has a sweet-spicy flavor, similar to cinnamon (a Tatooine word) (not gendered) [fialleril, January 02, 2017]

amee - 2 name of a member of the Green family on Tatooine, Amee Green (Amee Tenek) (f) [The Phantom Menace]

amnabtu - black salt (not gendered) [BLW]

amn, aman - black (not gendered), the color of night, symbolic of freedom, power, and agency, but also secrecy [symbolism by fialleril, June 01, 2016 //translation by BLW]

amu, amu-ku - mother (f) (nominative; the genitive is ama) [Double Agent Vader 1 Shape-Changer]

anakin - one who brings freedom /the rain [fialleril, july 31, 2016][DAV 4]

analav - Freemaker, an Amatakka family name [Droidography //translation by BLW]

ani - 1 small freedom (not gendered) [conjecture re anu]

ani - 2 on Tatooine it also means raindrop, small rain (not gendered) [fialleril, October 04, 2017]

ani - 3 nickname for persons with names based on anu, such as Anakin (n) [conjecture re anu, ani, anakin]

anken - freedom mark (not gendered) [conjecture re: anu, ken]

anku - freed person (n) [conjecture re anu, nimku]

an- - regarding freedom (or, on Tatooine, rain; in the mines it can mean daylight instead) (not gendered) [conjecture re anakin, an-umakkar]

ansar - tubers, like the ansar root, an edible tuber similar to a potato (not gendered) [fialleril, january 02, 2017]

anuba - 1 anooba, aggressive pack predator native to Tatooine, known for their hunger; accounts tell of anoobas being so engorged on meals that they are unable to move (n) [SWtOR //translation by BLW]

anuba - 2 Anooba, a character from Ekkreth stories, known for her wild cunning (f) [Double Agent Vader 4 The Slave Who Makes Free]

anu - freedom, on Tatooine also rain (in the mines it means daylight) (not gendered) [fialleril, October 04, 2017]

#amatakka #conlang #wordlist #star wars #my headcanons #Ben Naasade Saga

[twilightinanotherlife]

Invitations Make For Selfish Behavior

[First Day Phenomenon] [Risk & Visions]

Fandom: The Twilight Saga x Life and Death

Pairing: Bella Swan/Edythe Cullen

Rating: Teen

Warning: Blood and blood consumption, grief, and implied homophobia.

Word count: 3,825

Summary: Against her better judgement, Bella accepts Edythe’s offer to be her ride while her car is in the shop. Bella faces bigotry from her classmates, but finds an ally in Jessica Stanley.

January 25, 2005 (Bella’s POV)

I could feel Edythe’s eyes on me as I entered my house. The sound of the door closing was quickly followed by the sound of Edythe’s Volvo pulling out of my unpaved driveway. I forced myself to not peak out the door’s window, less she sees me blushing. I stayed by the door and listened until I heard her car turn off onto the next street. What was it about the bronze-haired goddess that made my slow heart race and my face flush with affection?

I walked down the short front hallway, entered the small dining area, and placed my bag on the small round table in the corner. The walls were wood paneled, and the carpet was dull gray. It was cold in the house, so I tossed some logs into the old furnace that I had walked past on my way into the dining room. Room was a bit of a stretch. The entire house couldn’t have been more than nine hundred and fifty square feet. To the left of the dining area was a kitchenette. From the refrigerator, I pulled out a gallon of cattle’s blood (it was amazing what you could buy at the butcher shop) and poured it into a glass I had produced from the cabinet. Cattle was by no means my favorite, but it would do until I could go hunting and restock my supply of wildlife blood. I settled into the cushioned chair I kept near the furnace. I spent a few moments warming myself and savoring my drink before getting up to search for a phonebook that was lying around here somewhere.

Finally finding it, I returned to my chair and opened the pages to “E” section. I quickly found what I was looking for. “Eagle Auto Repair & Towing”, the auto shop that Edythe had told me had towed mine and Tyler’s vehicles away. I called the number listed. A front desk clerk answered and after explaining who I was and the situation I was put on the line with a mechanic. I was told that my truck wouldn’t be available until Saturday. Holding back a frustrated groan I thanked the mechanic before hanging up. I then tossed the phonebook onto the floor where it landed with a thud. The sound echoed in my ears. To human ears the noise wouldn’t have been noticed, but to my ears the sound vibrated against my skull. It was a nuisance, but I could deal with it.

Back in the kitchen I rinsed out my glass in the sink, washed it, and dried it with the kitchen towel. After which I returned to the dining table where I had placed my bag. I seriously considered forgetting the homework that had been assigned. Surely the teachers would understand why I hadn’t been up to doing it? In the end I decided to just get the work done and over with. It hadn’t taken long at all, and I finished within the hour. I glanced at the wall clock and saw that it was a bit past five pm. So, I returned my books to my bag and myself to the kitchen to throw together a quick dinner of spaghetti and meatballs. After I finished my meal and cleaned the kitchen, I dug out the copy of “Mansfield Park” that I had at a local bookstore. The store’s selections had been low and mostly unappealing, so I was pleasantly surprised to find one of my favorite Jane Austen novels.

It had been over two months since Dad was murdered, since my entire life had been turned upside down, and since then nothing in the world felt right. So, when I found “Mansfield Park” buried among a pile of discount books, I felt closer to Dad than I have in a long time. Charlie Swan had been a simple man. His main goals had been to raise me to be independent and to know that I was loved. And to make the most of his immortal existence. Which meant engaging in the activities he loved most; fishing, baseball and reading. Charlie had been a vampire since 1687 and had found many ways to occupy his time. One of which included reading books. Dad had been partial to horror and mystery novels but had a hidden love for the classics. Such as “Jane Eyre” and “Wuthering Heights.” Then he had me and when I was old enough, he introduced me to his favorite authors and their works. Now, as I turned the pages of my book, I felt my father’s presence.

I methodically turned the pages of the novel, carefully reading each word. Even going back to reread sentences, then paragraphs, and then whole pages. As I read and reread the pages the minutes ticked by. As the minutes turned to hours, I knew that I was prolonging the inevitable lull of sleep. It was my least favorite time of day, or rather night, when I had to sleep. It was the only time when I was completely unguarded. And if that wasn’t bad enough, it was the only time that the nightmares took over. Only they weren’t nightmares but were horrible memories that were far too real.

The wall clock chimed to tell me the hour. Eleven o’clock on the dot. Reluctantly, I put my book away and put out the furnace. The whole house steadily became cooler and cooler. I went through my nightly routine. Which mostly consisted of a long hot shower where I spent most of it scrubbing mercilessly at the crescent scar that disfigured my wrist. For several weeks while on the run I had managed to hide out in a mountain home in Wyoming. It had once been my childhood home where Charlie had taught me how to control my vampire abilities. Dad and I had traveled all over the country since leaving Wyoming, but that place had always felt like home. I felt safe there. That was until James found me. He attacked me and I crippled him by tearing off part of his leg, but not before he managed to sink his teeth into my wrist. The fire of the venom as it coursed through my veins was excruciating, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me from escaping. I knew that the pain wouldn’t last long. It would die down to an annoying sting before my own venom completely eradicated it from my system. So, I forced myself to run. To get as far away from James as possible while he reattached his leg and recovered. Now, the only evidence of my last encounter with the sadistic vampire was my ugly scar.

The water had long been running cold before I turned off the shower. I stepped out and wrapped myself in a fluffy towel. I grabbed the brush and worked it through my hair. It was long, dark, and straighter than I’ve ever been. As I worked the bristles through the strands of hair, I took notice of the various shades that human eyes could never see. Strands of mahogany and bistre wove their way through the brush. All the strands and shades of brown twist together to make the dark brown that my school peers saw. Only under sunlight would they see shades of red. My dark hair contrasted with my cream-colored skin creating a striking effect. The fog cleared from the mirror, and I caught sight of my arms. The muscles underneath my smooth skin were strong and lean. I never considered myself vain, but I knew I was beautiful. I knew that I was just as lovely as a vampire.

I placed the brush down on the bathroom countertop. As usual, not a single thread of hair had tangled itself in the bristles. Perk of having unbreakable hair. I dried off, threw on some flannel pajamas, and brushed my teeth. The venom that coated my teeth was acidic to anything that could possibly stain them, but I liked the tingling clean sensation that spearmint toothpaste left behind. My bedroom was a second story loft space that overlooked the dining area. Just like the living room below, the loft space was carpeted. Though rather than gray the carpet was a faded golden brown. I crawled under the quilt of my bed and forced my eyes to stay open. I did not want to face the horrifying nightmare, but as the rain fell against the windowpane it created a hypnotic effect. Bit by bit my eyelids grew heavy and even with supernatural strength I couldn’t keep them open.

The next morning, I awoke to find that neither James nor Victoria had murdered me in my sleep. I considered that a good start to my day. Once I dragged myself out of bed, I poured myself a bowl of cereal in the kitchen. The room was still dark as the sun hadn’t even risen yet, but thanks to my superior sight the darkness didn’t hinder my movements. The rain from last night had let up but I could still hear the sound of the morning mist against the walls of my house. Sitting at the kitchen counter, I slowly at the bowl of cereal. As I chewed my food, I considered calling Edythe. The clock read six thirty, that wasn’t too early to call right? I knew that she was a vampire, that she didn’t sleep, but she didn’t know that I knew that. Would it really be so bad if she knew I am a vampire-human hybrid? No, it wouldn’t, but getting Edythe =dragged into my troubles and possibly hurt would be. Perhaps it would be best to keep her at arm’s length. I put the empty bowl in the sink and returned to my room. I rummaged through my dresser and pieced together an outfit for the day. Not sure how I managed to take my time selecting an oversized sweater and faded jeans, but I did. It was just after seven as I laced up my boots. School didn’t start for another hour. To pass the time I brewed myself a cup of tea and sat down on the carpeted steps that led to the loft. From there I could see, off in the distance, the first rays of sunlight breakthrough the trees.

As I sipped my tea, I heard the sound of a familiar engine. I smiled to myself. That was Edythe’s car in the distance, speeding toward the town limits. Soon enough I would catch a glimpse of silver as the Volvo turned onto my street. Just as I predicted, I saw Edythe’s car coming down the street at around eight. I placed my empty mug in the sink and grabbed my bag from the dining table where I had left. I then stepped outside, locked the door behind me, to wait for my ride. As Edythe’s pulled into my driveway, I greeted her with a little wave. Thoughts of keeping her at arm’s length seemed to have disappeared from my mind. All I could see was her bright smile lighting up her golden-rod eyes.

“Good morning, Bella.”

“Hey, Edythe,” I replied as I opened the passenger door and got in. “How was your evening? Did you sleep well?” Of course, I knew that she didn’t sleep at all but what can I say other than I think I’m funny?

“My night was pleasant. How did you sleep?”

I noticed that she avoided the question regarding sleep, but I wasn’t going to say anything. “I slept well enough.”

Edythe had started the drive to the high school which was only a few minutes from my house. The time was filled with simple conversation. She asked me if I had gotten in contact with the auto shop. I filled her in on the conversation that had transpired.

“Unfortunately, my truck won’t be available until Saturday. Does your offer to drive me to the shop still stand?”

“Of course. As does my offer to drive you to school for as long as you need me.” Edythe’s eyes widened as she registered what she said. “I mean it. As long as you need it. My help that is.”

I was amused by her ramblings, but I didn’t let it show on my face. Or at least I hope I didn’t. No point in embarrassing the poor girl further. “I understood what you were trying to say. And I appreciate it. You’re sure you don’t mind being my chauffeur for the rest of the week?”

Why wasn’t I turning her down? It was too dangerous for her to get close to me. It’s not like I couldn’t walk. And if it rained, so what? That’s what an umbrella was for.  

“I don’t mind at all. Really Bella I’m happy to help you.”

“And your siblings don’t mind? How are they getting to school?”

“They don’t mind. They’ll be taking Rosalie’s car. Trust me, she’s happier driving her own car than sitting in the back seat of mine.”

Edythe turned into the school parking lot which was already filled with the student population. As I stepped out of the car, I felt the eyes of my peers. It must have been quite a sight to see the mysterious new girl with one of the elusive Cullens.

“I’m going to be the talk of the town again.” It wasn’t a question. I already knew my day would be spent fending off questions about yesterday’s accident. Edythe, who had also gotten out of the car, looked around the sea of students.

“I would say so. Would you like me to walk you to your first class? I could fend off any intrusive peers.”

I came so close to turning down her offer, but I just couldn’t do it. As much as I knew it was bad for her to get close to me, I found myself craving her company. So, like a fool I said yes. Edythe and I walked side by side. I took the chance to admire her from my peripheral vision. Edythe was slender and petite, just an inch shy of my five feet and four inches. Her bronze-colored hair was pulled up into a messy twist. Curls fell from the updo to frame her face. She wore a pale lavender sweater that hugged her curves and the color brought out the delicate lavender of her eyelids. If I didn’t know better, I would think that Edythe was wearing eyeshadow. The sleeves were rolled up and the material was too thin to provide any protection from the cold, but I knew the weather didn’t bother her. We stopped in front of Building 3 where my English class is held.

“Would you join me for lunch?” Edythe asked me before we parted ways.

‘Just say no. You can’t get any closer to her than you already have. Say no.’

“Yes. I would like that.” ‘Dammit.’

Edythe smiled at me as if my answer just made her day. “Well then I’ll see at lunch time.”

I simply nodded my reply too afraid I’d say something stupid. The smile remained on Edythe’s face as she bid me a good day. I entered the classroom and took my seat. As the other students filed in Mike stopped by my desk.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Cullen?”

“Edythe? How do you mean?” I had a pretty good idea what he meant, but I wanted to hear him say it.

“You know. You two looked pretty cozy. People will start to talk.”

“Firstly, anything between Edythe and I is nobody else’s business. And if people want to gossip about two teenage girls because their own lives are so boring and unfulfilling then that’s their business. Secondly, the only thing between me and Edythe is kindness and a ride to and from school because your buddy’s reckless driving put my truck in the shop.”

Mike’s blond hair and hyperactive personality made me think of a golden retriever, but that wide eyed and gaping expression on his face brought to mind the image of a goldfish. Mr. Mason, the English teacher, entered the classroom before Mike could respond.

“Mr. Newton please take your seat.” Mike walked away from my desk, still appearing to be in shock. As the remaining students took their seats the school bell rang. I kept myself from cringing at the shrill noise. Truth be told, I had never been to school before now (Dad home-schooled me) and had no idea that a school bell was so loud. It made my ears ring and my head throb. I hated that stupid bell.

The rest of the morning couldn’t go by fast enough. If the student body wasn’t talking about the car crash, they were talking about the rumors that were being spread about Edythe and I. Were humans really so backwards in their beliefs surrounding sexuality? I knew they had negative opinions, but I was so used to the acceptance of vampire law that I didn’t consider how humans viewed the subject. I had never had too before now. The bell that singled the end of fourth period rang and the students rushed out, eager to get to the cafeteria building. I was among the last of my classmates to leave and I was stopped by Jessica.

“Hey Bella. How are you doing today? I hope that all this talk hasn’t gotten you down.”

“Not really. It’s annoying, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want you to think everyone thinks that way.”

“So, you don’t…” My voice trailed off.

Jessica shook her head, her dark voluminous curls bouncing as she did. “Nope.”

By this point we’d reached the cafeteria and pushed through the doors.

“Are you going to sit with us today?” Jessica asked referring to herself and her classmates whom I had sat with yesterday. “I promise to keep Mike and Lauren off your back.”

“I appreciate that, but I’m actually supposed to sit with Edythe.”

“With just Edythe? Or with all the Cullen-Hales?”

I stopped in my tracks. “I’m not sure.”

Something about sitting with five vampires I didn’t know made me feel incredibly on edge. I began looking around the cafeteria and noticed Jessica doing the same. I spotted the Cullens at their usual table, but Edythe wasn’t with them.

“Bella look.” Jessica directed my attention to the other end of the cafeteria where Edythe sat at a table by herself. She gave me a little wave when she saw me staring. I blushed and waved back.

“Come on Bella, lets go get you some food so you can get your flirt on.” Jessica and I grabbed our food and went our separate ways, but not before she wished me luck. I approached Edythe’s table.

“Is this seat taken?” ‘Smooth Bella.’

“Please, help yourself.”

I sat down in the chair next to Edythe, setting my tray on the table. Edythe grimaced at the food.

“That does not look appetizing at all.”

I looked down at the greasy slice of pizza, salad, and bottled lemonade. “It’s not so bad.” ‘It’s actually worse.’

“Are you sure about that?” Edythe had the cutest lopsided smirk. She couldn’t read my thoughts, but she could clearly read my face. I picked up the greasy pizza. I took a bite and chewed slowly. Gah! What was with school food tasting like cardboard with tomato sauce?

“See, like I said, not so bad. But perhaps I’ll stick to just the salad.”

Edythe chuckled. That’s when I noticed she didn’t have a tray of food. ‘Wonder what her excuse will be?’

“Where’s your lunch, Edythe? Aren’t you going to eat?”

“I had a big breakfast this morning. I’m not very hungry.”

I nodded my head and bit my bottom lip to keep from smirking. I picked up the plastic fork from my tray and dug into my salad. After a few bites and a sip of lemonade Edythe got around to asking the questions I knew she would eventually ask.

“May I be forward, Bella?” I nodded for her to continue. “How did you get out of the way of the van? That was an impossible feat.”

“Just must have been lucky I guess.”

“That was some incredible luck.”

I shrugged. “I had an adrenaline rush. It’s very common in a life-threatening situation.” I ate some more salad and drank some more lemonade. “Was that your only question?”

“I have a few. Were you perhaps bitten by a radioactive spider?” The corners of her lips curled up indicating that she was joking. At least mostly.

“Certainly not.” ‘As if a spider’s pincers could break through my diamond-hard skin.’

“Then perhaps kryptonite is involved?”

“You do know that kryptonite weakens Superman’s powers? It’s not the cause of them.”

“Well, there goes my best theories.”

We laughed together. Ever since I met Edythe, I found myself feeling lighter than I have in a long while. There was a time when I’d didn’t think I’d ever laugh again. Not since Dad…since Dad…

“Bella. Bella!”

I blinked away the tears that had blurred my vision. Tears fell down my cheeks, the intense cold of the venom slightly stinging my skin. Of all the human traits I could’ve inherited, why did crying have to be one of them?

“I’m sorry. I just thought of my dad and I…” I choked on silent sobs and couldn’t get the words out. Most of the town, if not everyone, knew that my dad had died even if they didn’t know the truth of how. They just knew the story I had spread around town.

“Hey, hey it’s okay.” The pad of Edythe’s thumb brushed against my cheek wiping away the tears. A pulse of electricity tingled against my skin. My face warmed with the rush of blood to my cheeks.

“I’m sorry…”

“You do not need to apologize.” Edythe interrupted me. “You have every right to be upset over such a loss. Can I get you anything?”

“No, I’m alright. Thank you though.” I wiped away the rest of my tears with the sleeve of my sweater. “What is it we were talking about?”

“You were shooting down my carefully constructed theories.” Edythe lightly teased me.

“Oh, yes. Radioactive spiders and kryptonite. Groundbreaking theories.”

I took a swig of lemonade then used the sleeve of my sweater to wipe away the rest of my tears. The lunch hour continued on without any more waterworks from yours truly. Edythe and I walked to Biology together and after my last class of the day, Edythe was waiting for me outside of the gymnasium. After dropping me off at home she wished me a pleasant evening and sent me away with a promise to see me in the morning.

Only two more days. I could allow myself the pleasure of her company for two more days. What would it hurt?

#the twilight saga #twilight #life and death #twilight au #life and death crossover #bella swan #isabella swan #edythe cullen #edythe x bella #bella x edythe #jessica stanley #twilight fanfiction #vampire hybrid bella #my au #my fanfiction

[fanartandfanfiction]

The Saga of Meatball the snake, Chapter One

95.5% of you voted for a fic featuring Meatball, so here you go! The first part of the chapter is a combination of the posts you've seen, but keep going!

“OMINIS!” 

Ominis turned towards the sound of the voice disrupting his stroll around the garden. He was fairly certain it was Melody Carlisle, the new girl Sebastian was enamored with. 

“Yes?” 

“Help!”

His eyes widened. Was that…?

“HEEEEELP!” 

That was parseltongue. The sound got louder as Melody approached. “You speak parseltongue, right?”

“How did you- never mind, I already know the answer.” He said with a disgusted sigh.

“Let me out!” 

“Melody…do you have a snake?” 

“Yes! I found him in the forbidden forest. He looks like he’s been stepped on. I’ve got him in my bag. Can you help him? I don’t know if he understood me, but I said ‘don’t worry little buddy! I know someone who can help!”

“What do you want me to do?” 

“Tell him I’m just trying to help him!” 

“I can try. Set the bag down. Unzip it, you’re not giving him any air.”

“I didn’t want him to escape! Also, he’s kind of bitey.”

“Of course he tried to bite you! He’s injured and scared and a human shoved him in a bag!”

Melody sat the bag down and Ominis knelt beside it.

“Hello.” 

“WHAT THE FUCK? Are you a human?”

“Yes, My name is Ominis. And you are?”

“I don’t have a name. Where am I?”

“My friend said you’d been trampled by a unicorn. She put you in her bag and brought you to me since I speak parseltongue.”

“Please help. It hurts. I don’t want to be in here!”

“Alright, I’m going to open the bag to let you out. Please don’t bite, I know you’re scared, but we’re going to help you.”

“Alright. I trust you, you speak my language. Not the grabby one.”

“Thank you. I’m going to open the bag and you’ll have to slither up my arm. I’m afraid I won’t be able to see you, I’m blind.” 

“Humans can be blind?” 

“Unfortunately. Come on, you’re alright.” 

“Would you care to include me in the conversation?” Melody asked.

“He wants me to help him, not the grabby girl that shoved him in a bag.”

Ominis unzipped the bag and felt a snake, much larger than he expected, begin slithering up his arm. 

“You’re quite a large snake.” 

“That’s not very polite.” 

“Apologies. I just meant that I was surprised my friend would pick you up. Most girls are afraid of snakes.”

“She said I was a cute little scaley baby. It was humiliating.”

“Of course she did. She’s a kind person, she just gets carried away sometimes.” 

Ominis pulled out his wand and muttered a healing spell over the snake. 

“You healed me! I’m in your debt. Thank you.”

“Don’t be silly, I was glad to help. Shall we return you to the forest?”

“Too dangerous. May I stay with you? It’s comforting to speak to someone in my language.” 

“Of course.” 

“Did you heal him?” Melody asked.

“Yes. He wants to stay with me.” 

“Oh, nice! Now you’ve got a pet! What are you going to name him? I guess now you have to get some supplies for him. Oh! Do you want to go to Brood and Peck?”

“Um, I suppose I do need some supplies. I’ve never been to Brood and Peck. Where is it?”

“I’ll show you! Could you ask him if he’d mind if I pet him?”

“She wants to know if she can pet you.” 

“Yes, I heard her. I suppose.” 

“Oh! He understand English.” Ominis said with a smile. 

“Of course I do, I’m not an idiot.”  He felt the snake slither down his arm. He jumped when Melody grabbed his hand.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. I was giving him a bridge to come across.” He felt the snake leave his arm and she let go of his hand.

“I suppose this one helped me as well. What is she called?”

“Melody.”

“What?” She asked. 

“Sorry, he was asking what your name was.”

“Oh! Hello. I’m Melody. I apologize for earlier. I had to get you to Ominis and I didn’t want you to bite me.” 

“It’s alright. I like this one.” 

“He said it’s alright and he likes you.”

“Aw! I like you too!” She stroked the snake’s large head. “Do you have a name?”

“He doesn’t.”

“William Snakespeare.” 

“What? No.”

“Snake Gyllenhal? David Hisselhoff?” 

“Did you just have a list of snake names prepared?” Ominis smiled.

“I thought about it the whole way here. Hissy Elliot?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Hisstopher Walken?”

“No! No celebrity names.” 

“Kevin?”

“I don’t like Kevin.”

“He says he doesn’t like Kevin.”

“What about meatball?” Melody asked with a grin.

“Meatball? Seriously?”

“I like it.” 

Ominis sighed. “You realize that’s a food, right?”

“It feels right. I’d like to be called meatball.”

Ominis gave an exasperated groan. “He wants to be called Meatball.”

“YAY! Meatball is a wonderful name! Meatball, we’re going to pick you out a wonderful terrarium.”

“We?” Ominis asked.

“Um, yeah! I’m invested now. Such a sweet little meatball.” She loudly smooched the top of his head.

“Is this your mate?”

“No. A friend.”

“Why not?”

“What do you mean why not?”

“She’s an attractive human, isn’t she?”

“I wouldn’t know. I’m blind.”

“Oh yeah. Well, as far as humans go, she’s attractive. She seems like a suitable mate.” 

“Feeling a little left out here, guys.” Melody said.

“Sorry, he was asking me questions.” 

“About what?”

“Well, you, actually.” 

“Oh!” Melody smiled and scratched Meatball’s head. “I’ll answer any questions you want, my little buddy.” She said affectionately.

“No, he was…well, it’s a bit awkward. He asked if you were my mate.”

“Oh! No, I don’t think he likes me very much.” She said in a stage-whisper to Meatball.

“What?” He hadn’t meant to give that impression. “Why do you say that?”

“Because you look like you hate me every time I come by, or I’m talking to Sebastian and you’re there.”

“I don’t hate you. And I apologize for making you feel that way. Truthfully, I don’t get to know Sebastian’s girlfriends because they don’t last long.”

“Wait, did he say I was his girlfriend?!”

“No, he didn’t, I just assumed.”

“No. Sebastian reminds me a lot of my brother. I could never see him…that way.” 

“So she’s available!” Meatball said.

“Forget it. Would you rather stay with her than me? You seem quite taken with her.”

“No, she doesn’t understand me. And I like you. Could you have her pass me back to you?”

“He wants you to pass him back to me.”

“Ok! Here you go, one precious little danger noodle. Hold still.” She leaned against his shoulder so Meatball could slither over. 

“Brood and Peck is just up ahead. It’s a bit crowded, hang on.”  She took his hand and led him through the street.

He felt a tingle run through his hand where she touched him. He bumped into her when she stopped suddenly. “Sorry, people.” She said to him. “Excuse us.” She tugged him even closer and continued down the street. “Ugh, Hogsmeade is busy today. Alright, we’re here.” He pushed the door open and he heard a bell ding. 

“Hello, welcome to- Oh, Melody! Good to see you. What have you got for me today?”

“Actually, my friend Ominis here just got a snake, so we need some supplies.”

“He’s quite a big one! And seems remarkably calm.”

“Ominis is a parseltongue, so he can talk to him.”

“Melody!” Ominis hissed. “I don’t tell people that.”

“It’s alright, I’ll keep my mouth shut. I’ve come across a few parseltongues in my day. Where are my manners? Ellie Peck, pleasure to meet you. So what’s his name?”

“Meatball!” Melody said with a grin. 

“Bit of an odd name for a snake, but alright. You’ll need a terrarium, a heat lamp…”

“Food!” Meatball said excitedly.

“I’m going to get you food.”

“No, there’s food right there! I want it!”

“What are you talking about?”

“There’s a frog!”

“I’m sure he belongs to Ellie, you can’t eat him.”

“Um, Ellie. Do you have a frog?”

“No, he just hopped in here earlier, why?”

“Because Meatball is very excited and wants to eat him.”

“If he can catch him, he can have him. I’ve been trying to get the little bugger out of here all day.”

“Did you hear that? Go on.” 

Meatball slithered down his arm and leg and began hunting the frog. “Do you have any accessories?” Melody asked.

“Accessories?”

“You know, little hats, a bow tie, something like that.”

“Um…no.”

“That’s alright, I’ll make some.” Melody beamed. “Ominis, what’s your budget?”

“I don’t have one. It’s the only good part of being a Gaunt. Well, that and speaking parseltongue.” 

“I’ve got a big selection in the back. Follow me.” Ellie said. Melody took his hand and whispered “watch out, it’s narrow.”

“You don’t have to hold my hand, you know. My wand helps me navigate.”

“I know.” She said sweetly and hummed as they went to the back.

After they’d picked out a terrarium and all the necessary things to make Meatball comfortable, they headed to the checkout. “Ugh, I’m full.” Meatball said as he slithered back to Ominis. “Can you ask Melody to hold me?” 

Ominis rolled his eyes. “Meatball is stuffed from his frog and wants you to carry him.”

“Aw, anything for you my little Meatball.” She squatted down and held out her arm and he crawled up it and draped around her shoulders. Ominis checked out while she cuddled Meatball and kissed the top of his head. “The sweetest little baby!” 

“Do you want me to ask her to stop the baby talk?” Ominis asked.

“No. It makes me feel special.” 

Ominis snorted and Melody looked at him. “What?”

“I asked him if he wanted you to stop baby talking to him and he said it makes him feel special. He’s quite taken with you.” 

“Alright, I used a spell to shrink everything down so you can take it back easier. Know how to undo it when you get back?”

“Yes, thank you.” Ellie handed him a bag and he turned towards Melody. “Ready?”

“Yep! I’ll probably see you tomorrow, Ellie. I’ve heard whispers of some poachers coming after some jabberknolls tomorrow.”

“I’ll be ready. Thanks, Mel.”

They left and Ominis looked towards her quizzically. “What was that about poachers?”

“Oh, that. Um, I kind of raid poacher camps and free the beasts.”

This surprised him. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Well, sometimes. It depends on the group. That’s how I found Meatball. I’d just finished freeing some puffskeins when I found him. Sometimes the beasts are more rare and it’s dangerous to re-release them right away. In that case, I bring them to Ellie. She takes care of them and relocates them if necessary.”

“Wow. Why? I understand wanting to help save the beasts, but there must be a less dangerous way.”

“Eh. I can defend myself, they can’t.” She answered as if it were nothing.

“That’s quite admirable.” He was impressed. Some of the poachers were extremely dangerous. They weren’t afraid to use unforgivables. 

“To paraphrase Voltaire, everyone is guilty of all the good they did not do.”

“You’re a fan of Voltaire?” He asked with a smile.

“I am.”

“Interesting. I appreciate you coming with me to do this.”

“No problem at all! I think this is the longest we’ve ever spoken.”

“Yes, and I’d like to apologize again for coming off as cold. I’m not overly outgoing.”

“It’s fine! Now let’s get Meatball’s crib set up.”

Sebastian was about to open his dorm room when he heard female laughter from inside. Did Ominis have a girl in there? How the hell had that happened? He knocked and heard Ominis tell him to come in. 

“Hey, I-Melody?”

“Hi!” Melody grinned at him. She and Ominis were sitting on his bed, a massive snake draped over both their laps. “This is Meatball!”

“I…have several questions. His name is Meatball?”

“Yes, Melody suggested it and he liked it, so now we’re calling him Meatball.”

“I didn’t even know you guys knew each other, other than occasionally saying hi. Now you’ve gotten a pet together?”

“No, Melody found Meatball. He was injured, so she brought him to me because SOMEONE told her I was a parselmouth. He decided he wanted to stay with me. Melody took me to Brood and Peck and we picked up some things for him.”

Meatball slithered up Melody’s side and around her neck and across to Ominis, draping across both of them and making them sit shoulder to shoulder. Ominis had a rare smile on his face. 

“Soooo now we have a big ass snake?” Sebastian asked.

“Don’t be rude, he understands english. Meatball, this is Sebastian, my best friend and roommate.”

“I don’t like how he’s looking at me.” 

“Meatball said he doesn’t like how you’re looking at him.”

Sebastian raised his eyebrows. “Apologies, Meatball. I just wasn’t expecting to see you or Melody here.”

“Is Melody his mate?” Meatball asked.

“No, but I’m sure he’d like her to be.” 

“No, she should be your mate.” Meatball curled around Melody more tightly, pulling her closer to Ominis.

“Meatball!” She laughed. Now she was leaning up against him, head nearly resting on his shoulder. “Ok, either Meatball is going to have to loosen up or you’re going to have to move your arm, because your elbow is digging me in the ribs.” Meatball curled even tighter and Ominis sighed. 

“Clearly Meatball is comfortable. Is it alright if I put my arm behind you?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” He lifted his arm and she scooted over so he could put it behind her. Now they were practically cuddling. “What?” She looked over at Sebastian.

“I’m sorry, this is just really weird. You guys have barely spoken and now you’re cuddling on his bed.”

“We’re not cuddling.” Ominis said, his cheeks turning red. “We’re sitting like this for Meatball.”

“Right, sure.”

Melody looked at her phone. “Shoot, Poppy’s probably wondering where I’m at. I gotta go. Sorry Meatball, you have to let me go.”

Meatball slithered back around to her and flicked his tongue against her. “Aw! Meatball’s giving me kisses! Thank you, Meatball.” She kissed him on the top of his head and lifted his tail off of her. “So you’ve got my number now and I’ll see you tomorrow?” She asked Ominis.

“Of course. Goodbye. Thanks again.” He smiled. 

“Bye Sebastian!” Melody waved cheerfully before her blonde head bounced out the door. 

“Don’t even.” Ominis said, stroking Meatball’s head.

“You dog!”

“We’re just friends.”

“Sure. You know, it was quite shocking to walk in and find a cute blonde on your bed.”

“She’s blonde? I didn’t know. I’ve no idea what she looks like, obviously.”

“Melody is blonde and has long hair. She’s a hufflepuff. She’s got bright blue eyes and half the boys in our year have been drooling over her.”

“I’m assuming you count yourself among her admirers?” Ominis smirked.

“I’ll admit she’s hot, but she wouldn’t give me the time of day. I know because I asked.” 

“I’d like to rest.” Meatball said.

“Alright, I’ll put you in your terrarium. Melody said it’s large and you should be comfortable. I’ll leave the lid off so you can come out if you want to.”

“Thank you for giving me shelter.”

“Of course.”

Ominis set him down gently in the terrarium and turned on the heat lamp. He felt Meatball flick his tongue against his hand, and he stroked his head.

“So what’s tomorrow?” 

“Hm?” Ominis asked, returning to his bed. 

“Melody said she’d see you tomorrow.” 

“Oh, yes. We’re meeting tomorrow for lunch in the garden.” 

“Ooooh! Ominis has a date!” Sebastian grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. 

“It’s not a date. I’m bringing Meatball. We both thought he’d enjoy the garden.”

“Sure, sure. So do you like her?” 

“She’s a pleasant person, very kind.”

“That’s not what I meant.” 

“Sebastian, I just met her. I mean technically we’ve met before but this is the first time we’ve talked.” 

“She’s a great girl. Really sweet, but also kicks ass. I’ve helped her raid a few poacher camps before.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she’s amazing at it. She’s really brave. Surprised she’s not a Gryffindor actually.”

“Wow. Well it’s nice to get to know her. Truthfully, I thought she was one of your flings.” Ominis smirked.

“Not for lack of trying.” Sebastian grinned.

“I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, goodnight Meatball.”

“He said goodnight.”

“No I didn’t. I don’t like that one.”

Ominis snorted and Sebastian looked up. “What?”

“Nothing, just a sneeze.”

#hogwarts legacy #fanfic #hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy modern au #ominis gaunt #sebastian sallow #meatball #hogwarts legacy ominis #hogwarts legacy sebastian

[adultswim2021]

Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! #29: “Larry” | September 22, 2008 - 12:30AM | S03E09

A weak episode with some stuff in it I do like. We’re going to leave the meatiest segments for the end. 

First there’s Burps, which is sort of a rehash of Zits. This one has okay ideas, but isn’t really that funny. Tim burps while talking, and Eric asks him questions that inexplicably all have the word “rain” in the answers. It’s a real “spaghetti and meatballs” approach to comedy. That’s not a bad thing, it just didn’t bowl me over here. This recurs later in the form of outtakes where Eric is beside himself with laughter. It’s maybe a little silly to complain about DVD extras, but there’s even more of this stuff in the bloopers on the DVD. Enough!!!

There’s another Tairy Greene sketch that has some amusing moments, and I consider this one “funny enough”. The main idea, where Tairy is making an example of a wheelchair kid for no good reason, is a decent bit. 

Next is another guest star. It’s… Ugh, Rainn Wilson. He does the same bit Patton did a few episodes back of portraying a child singing a song about sexual matters. This one is about peeing in a girl’s mouth to make a baby.

Rainn Wislon is a wad, so I'll digress into childhood stories. Skip this paragraph if you want: I remember when I was little I used literally worry about the idea that a girl from school might hide in my toilet at home and wait for me to go pee, and then she’d wrap her mouth around my childish penis and impregnante herself, putting me at the forefront of a “with child” situation. At my tender age! In my imagination, it was shot like a scene in a movie trailer, set to “Bad to the Bone”, and her toilet prank would smash-cut to a Norman Rockwell-esque portrait of me, looking surprised to have a family. 

Okay, the wraparound segments are a continuation of the Carol and Mr. Henderson saga. This is, perhaps, the weakest of the Carol and Mr. Henderson sketches, but it eventually pays off. Instead of Mr. Henderson being cruel to Carol, they are now fully in love and in a relationship, and the jealous Larry is left licking his wounds, upset that his friend Mr. Henderson is spending too much time with Carol. It’s a tale as old as time. While Carol and Mr. Henderson do some french kissing (accomplished with a “digital snake tongues” added in post; a detail I think I literally never noticed until this watch), Larry sings a mournful song about how his friend left him for “a piece of cooze”, which had to be censored by the network with a bleep. 

The final scene in this sketch is also the final scene of the episode, where Larry just shows up to work with a gun. He shoots both Carol and Mr. Henderson, presumably dead, and then sticks the barrel of the gun in his out mouth and blows his own brains out. It’s hilariously grim and brutal. The twist is that both Carol and Mr. Henderson are wearing bullet proof vests, which begs the question: how the fuck did they anticipate this? Carol glibly states “this was fun.” mere feet away from Larry’s lifeless body. This is one of my favorite moments in the whole series! It’s the only great sketch in the whole episode!

Needless to say, it’s a little jarring that you can show a guy blow his brains out in a somewhat realistic, inimitable manner, but “cooze” needs to be bleeped. As with other Carol/Mr. Henderson sketches, there are plenty of outtakes and deleted material. We see Eric perform yet another one of his own stunts; keen readers of this blog will recall his brush with head-trauma in the first Carol sketch when Larry smashes a candy glass coffee pot over Carol’s head, which wound up cutting Eric through the wig. The stunt in this episode involved Eric diving in front of Larry’s bullet to save Mr. Henderson. In the blooper reel footage, you see him narrowly avoid banging his head directly into the cubicle desk. ERIC!!! WATCH IT!!!! 

EPHEMERA CORNER:

MAIL BAG

I can think of a lot of things that would get RC cancelled. S11 was the first season in a while to not get an emmy nomination, Lazzo's not around anymore to keep greenlighting it, It got over 3,000 sketches which is plenty stockpiled to live off of youtube views, anytime I saw people mention it online they were surprised it was still running, Seth Green's embarassing NFT debacle that even his own writers and other NFT guys made fun of him for, COVID (that's what killed Shivering Truth), etc.

Good call. I too was ignorant about Robot Chicken's status, but that was because I hated it. Lapsed fans being unclear on that detail is definitely a sign.

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #tim and eric awesome show great job #Youtube

[toboldlywrite]

Star Saga Star Trek AU

Episode 1 Part 3

1.1 | 1.2

The stares when he walked into the mess hall didn’t bother Tobias at all. He’d expected as much, being the only one not in a uniform, and probably being known by enough of the officers for his departure from Starfleet Medical and time in the Maquis for the rumors to really go flying. What did bother him was the lack of options the replicator had. Sure, it was programmed with food from hundreds of different worlds--but only a few samples of each. He’d just wanted some tacos, but instead he was forced to find an empty table with only a small bowl of tomato soup. He took a spoonful, and made a face. He should have gone with Vulcan plomeek soup instead. It probably would have tasted more flavorful.

Someone stopped by his table. He ignored them, thinking they were probably just looking for somewhere to sit. Instead, the person pulled out another chair and sat down across from him.

“So, is it true?”

He looked up to see a plate of spaghetti and meatballs and a person with brown skin darker than his looking over them at him with what he could only describe as a mischievous look.

“Is what true?”

“Well, everyone has been saying a lot of different things about you. I thought I’d see if I could get the inside story.”

Tobias grunted, pushing his bowl to the side. “Who are you?”

“Ryan Faris. Lieutenant. Helm officer.”

“And what exactly do you want to know?”

“For starters, why you’re the only person in here not in a uniform.”

“I’m not in Starfleet.”

“Really.”

Tobias’s human upbringing made him a bit more sensitive to sarcasm than the average Vulcan, but he still wasn’t entirely sure if Ryan was being sarcastic or not. His tone didn’t sound like it, but that mischievous glint in his dark brown eyes made him question otherwise.

“I thought you went to the Academy?”

“I did.”

“And Starfleet Medical?”

“Yes. But I dropped out.”

“To join the Maquis?”

“Why are you asking about me if you already know?”

Ryan shrugged, shoving a rather large serving of pasta into his mouth. “Just trying to put the pieces together.” He chewed for a moment--not long enough, in Tobias’s amateur medical opinion--and swallowed. “Why’d you join them?”

“Personal reasons.” Tobias glanced around the mess hall, counting how many looks were being thrown their way. Ryan didn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he just didn’t care.

“What kind of personal?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Some people say you were failing out anyway and just decided to become a Maquis for fun. Some people say you did it because you were having a passionate love affair with one of the members.”

“Do they?” He muttered, pulling the bowl back just so he’d have something to do with his hands. Humans weren’t the only ones who liked spreading rumors, but they did seem to be the best at it. The others just went along for the ride.

“My personal favorite is that you were given an assignment to infiltrate the Maquis while at Starfleet Medical. And that your arrest was just to make it more credible.”

“Well don’t let me shatter your illusion.”

Ryan laughed, taking another bite. “And here I thought an outlaw would be more fun.”

“I’m not an outlaw.”

“Sorry, former outlaw. Whatever.”

Tobias shot him a glare, but he wasn’t phased.

“Anyway, one of the consistent things people say is that you don’t like Starfleet.”

“Is it required?”

“Just seems a bit odd that you’d be here on a Starfleet ship, helping out with a mission if that were the case.”

Tobias didn’t say anything. He took another bite of his soup instead. Now it was cold and bland, but it still tasted better than this conversation.

“Everyone says you’re a bad luck charm. A bad influence. That anyone with sense would stay away from you.”

Tobias’s hand tightened around the handle of his spoon, hovering just above the liquid. He wasn’t surprised. And really, he shouldn’t be disappointed. What should he care what Starfleet people said, or even thought about him? But it still stung, somehow. Maybe because it was that very hypocrisy that had driven him away in the first place. Starfleet--and the Federation in general--prided itself on being so tolerant, so forgiving. They didn’t execute people. Prison was for rehabilitation, not punishment. There was no crime so heinous that pushed someone past the point of redemption. Those concepts were preached and touted as the very heart of Federation society. But in practice, that was hardly the case. If he ever even suggested applying to Starfleet again, he’d be laughed out of the room by the most decorated admirals. People given awards and metals for perfectly embodying Federation values were among those who whispered and stared--including Voyager’s very own first officer. He’d been reluctant to shake Tobias’s hand when they were introduced earlier, and wiped it on his uniform immediately afterward. Like he’d catch some Maquis cooties if he wasn’t careful. It made the anger under his skin flare up again, turning into gooseflesh down his arms.

Structure, logic, function, control, he thought, taking a deep breath. A structure cannot stand without a foundation. Logic is the foundation of function. Function is the essence of control. His hand loosened. I am in control. I am in control. The anger faded. Not entirely, but enough to make it the usual background noise again. He wasn’t even sure if that was the actual purpose of that Vulcan mantra, but it worked for him.

“And what do you say?” He asked.

“That I like to come to my own decisions instead of just listening to what other people tell me. And that I’ve never had much sense.”

“That’s not a very comforting thing to hear from the person responsible for flying this ship.”

He laughed. It was a very jolly sound, the kind of laugh you’d expect from someone who had never been through hard times in his life. Which wasn’t hard to believe, given how close Earth was to a utopia these days. For some people, anyway. “One of the people,” he corrected. “Lieutenant Stadi is the other.”

“I thought Voyager only needed one person at the helm.”

“Well that’s all it needs. For typical flight, anyway. But in tight situations, when we need more maneuverability, it works best with two.”

“And Voyager has better maneuverability than most Starfleet ships, from what I’ve heard.”

“Oh yes. It’s the bioneural circuitry. Cuts reaction time by… a lot.”

“Thanks for that precise answer.”

Ryan’s mouth twitched. “You do have a sense of humor! Are those pointed ears justs for show?”

“No,” he answered flatly. It was a rhetorical question anyway.

“Attention senior officers,” Captain Janeway’s voice came over the com loud and clear, “please report to the bridge.”

“Well, so much for all the fun we were having.” Ryan stood up, pushing his empty plate aside. “But duty calls.”

Tobias’s com badge clicked.

“Janeway to Jackson.”

He tapped on it, hidden just underneath his jacket. “Yes Captain?”

“Please come to the bridge as well. We’re approaching the Badlands.”

“On my way.”

“Come on,” Ryan said, patting him on the back. “I’ll escort you so you don’t commit any more crimes on the way.”

Tobias wondered if he’d be thrown off the ship and back into prison if he punched Ryan right there and then.

It probably wasn't worth finding out.

#wip: star trek au #star saga star trek au #my writing

[littlelioncub43]

K, I'm too tired for filthy thoughts, it's been a long day, so you get pure, fluffy P!R instead 🥰

We usually talk about the subby techies being taken care of, but we all have days when we have to be the little spoon, the one that hides from everything. How do our boys feel about that? Do they like to be the big, strong protectors from time to time? Is there any particular way they like to help you rest after a tiring day?

- P!R

P.S. Maybe one day I'll jump in your DMs, because, yeah, we'd definitely have some common viewpoints but right now I'm way too anxious to turn off anon, so we'll have to wait 😂

I love fluffy thots 😄

Oh man. They love it. They love being babied, but the chance to take care of you the same way you do for them???? They live and breathe for moments like that.

Let's start with this meatball. For him it was hard to get used to being taken care of. He's lived his life for so long being the person who takes care of everyone else— he's a giver by nature. When you came around and swept him off his feet, it was strange for him at first but he fell into it rather quickly. You gave him the chance to rest and receive. So when you need a moment to be taken care of, Dennis just knows it's his time to shine.

When you get home from a long day with that drained look in your eyes, Dennis immediately springs into action. He's cooking dinner tonight so you don't have to worry about it, he's starting the shower for you, he's tucking you into the couch to rest until food is ready. And his favorite part— he's holding you close to his chest while you snuggle into him. He hates seeing you so run-down, but he loves being there for you.

Now this guy (I have the overwhelming urge to call him a "linguine" 😹), he's also just as happy to take care of you. He's the cuddliest out of the 3.

He makes you take a day off. He turns off your alarms and lets you sleep in as late as you need the next day. He also somehow coaxes you into staying in bed all day. You both end up watching the Star Wars saga while he holds you close, your back resting against his chest while he leans against the head board. He gives your head soft pecks now and then and rubs your arms tenderly.

And this little murderer, he would be a little out of his element but he would love it just the same. He would ask you what you wanted, what you needed, if there was something he could do, then he would do it as quickly and as perfectly as he could. The best way he'd take care of you though, would be a hug.

When you got home one day and looked unbelievably sad and tired, he immediately got up and pulled you into a hug. You gasped in surprise at how steady his hug was, it told you that this was a safe place for you, you could rest here, you were taken care of here. And you just melted into him. It shocked Justin to feel how small you were at this moment. Normally you were so strong and authoritative, but right now you were just so tiny and delicate. So he held you tenderly without a word and let you be soft.

#tech tuesday will be fun #tech tuesday #justin capshaw x fem!reader #justin capshaw x reader #justin capshaw #jake jensen #jake jensen x reader #dennis baker x you #dennis baker imagine #dennis baker x female reader #little lion literature

[super-unpredictable98]

The Unavoidable | Me and Mrs. Jones AU

Pairing: Billy x Saga (Me and Ms. Adolphson’ Verse) Word Count: 2,8 k Warning: Strong language

(Masterlist)

"Should I be worried, S? You left the house twice this month, once for your sister's hen night and once to pick the twins up from school. But even then you were covered from head to toe, Alfie told me people thought you were a child predator," Billy laughed, sitting by his girlfriend on the couch. 

"Welcome home from work, my dear, I missed you too!" Saga laughed nervously.

"Who you runnin' from? Any stalker I should know about?"

"No... It's just... I heard my father is in England," she admitted quietly, and Billy's heart dropped. 

He knew she wasn't embarrassed of him or anything like that, she was more scared of her family than anything else, but it still hurt that she was that terrified of being seen with him. 

Most of the time he felt like a mildly successful guy: he had a good job (it wasn't a five-star hotel restaurant, but still), he had a nice flat, and he could afford to take Saga out and buy nice gifts for her. He was faithful and loving, she seemed happy with him.

"How are we gonna do this at the wedding? Are you gonna tell him or am I just Alfie's friend when I'm there?" He asked hesitantly.

"I- I'm gonna tell him, of course. I don't wanna have to pretend like you're not my boyfriend, I love you!" Saga cried. "Besides, he's not gonna throw a tantrum during Inca's wedding. My brothers will be there too, I think they'll like you, they just want to see me happy."

"You sure? I heard your brothers are quite big, if they don't like me, I'm pretty much fucked."

"No, they are big but they are also really nice."

Billy nodded, trying to believe her. He was usually so great at meeting parents, his natural charm always made them like him, but this time he was the bad boy who stole the girl away from the man her dad chose. That thought had been haunting him ever since they started dating.

"What are their names? Y'never talk about your family," he pointed at the plastic bag on the table with the meal he prepared for her before closing the kitchen. 

"My mum's name is Kajsa, she was a model when she was my age, but now she's a housewife. People say Inca and I look a lot like her, she's the best mom in the world and nothing you say can change my mind. My dad, Ivar, has his own menswear brand he created with my grandpa. He is very strict, but he does what he does because he loves us. He just wants what's best for me."

"Mmmhm I see, I see..." Billy nodded. He absolutely didn't like her father, not after learning that he essentially forced Saga to date Ake despite her protests. Ivar sounded like a huge control freak who treated his kids as property, but for everyone's sake, he was willing to ignore those feelings and be nice to the old man. "And your brothers?"

"Noak is the oldest, he works with my dad and he is very uptight, he always used to tell our parents when I did something wrong. Esbjorn is a lawyer and he loves to read, especially the classics, he's really smart. Then there's Inca, and Goran is the second youngest, he is an athlete, he swims for his college team."

"And then there's you, the little family princess protected by all these people," he chuckled as he watched her happily eat her spaghetti and meatballs. "I'm fucked."

"No, you are not! They will love you just like I do, you are a good man, a great catch, Billy. If my dad or my siblings can't see that, then it sounds like a them problem, I'm not gonna give up my happiness for them anymore."

Billy wasn't so sure they would even give him a chance. An Irish nomad who just settled in England, working as a chef, but at a small pub and with a salary that wouldn't impress anyone. Living in a flat with one chair and who just happened to swoop in and win the heart of a, let's face it, rich Swedish heiress. He loved her to bits, but was that enough for her family?

As the days passed by, he tried to focus on his groomsman duties and work, ignoring his doubts and doing the best he could to hide them from his very perceptive girlfriend. When the day finally came, the nerves were at an all time high, but for a moment everything disappeared:

"You look... Gorgeous, Saga," Billy swallowed when she came out of his room in her long emerald green dress. 

It was quite a simple outfit, Inca would never let the bridesmaids upstage her in any way, but Saga made it look like a masterpiece. Her hair up exposed her long neck and her delicate collar bones, the slit that exposed her beautiful thigh... It all made his heart skip a beat and send blood somewhere else.

"Thank you, sweetie, you look very handsome too," she stepped closer to fix his tie and his hair. "When our wedding happens, you are definitely not wearing gray again."

"We're gettin' married?" He chuckled.

"I would like to one day, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, of course, I just- we never discussed that. I thought you'd be horrified with commitment after all that happened."

"I am, but not when it comes to you. I want to be with you for as long as I can, being with you is like being home."

"That is so beautiful, darlin'," he smiled, taking in the sight of her so he would never forget it. "And what color would you want me t'wear for our wedding?"

"I don't know, maybe blue, or deep red."

"Sounds good t'me, as long as I'm marryin' you I'll wear a diaper for all I care," he offered his arm for her to hold. "Let's go, Tom is already waitin' downstairs."

—————————————————— 

"I am starting to lose my mind!" Inca cried, pacing from one side of the room to the other.

"Hey, hey, calm down," Saga took her hands while Gemma simply watched awkwardly from the side. Calming the bride was a job for the bridesmaids of course, so they both had to be there. "Look at me, Inca! You are going to be fine."

"What if I'm making a mistake?"

"You won't know until you make it and it's better to make a mistake and fix the mess later than to never try and never know how things could've been."

"Divorce is always an option, don't feel like your life is over," Gemma said, but quickly shut her mouth when Saga glanced at her. "I don't think you're making a mistake."

"You married Jason once and it didn't work, maybe I am!" Inca panted, she was starting to look even paler if that was possible. "This dress is too big, it's suffocating me! I'm needing to change."

"It's okay, you are just anxious, sister! You love this dress because it's too big, it's gonna look amazing in the photos. You'll look perfect, and you are going to be so happy with your husband. I meant what I said that one time, Jason is an idiot, but he is a good person. You are perfect together, there's nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure, Saga? You really think so?"

"I am one hundred percent sure."

"Okay, I'm ready! Go on, I'm going to be preparing for my big entrance."

The two bridesmaids ran into the church and took their places at the altar. Billy gave them a questioning look and Saga gave him a thumbs up, nodding with a smile. Her face changed completely though when she noticed her father sitting on the first row with her mother and brothers. 

It had been a while since they had seen each other. Saga purposefully avoided calling or texting so she could escape the questions about her love life and whenever Ake came up in conversation, she simply made up an excuse to hang up. 

During the ceremony, she allowed herself not to think about that and simply focus on her sister and that big moment. Saga had never been so grateful for Inca being such an attention seeker, who would even look at her when that beautiful bride with that massive fairytale dress was standing right there? 

But there was only so much that could be done to avoid the unavoidable. After the pictures everyone headed to the reception, Billy opened the car door for his girlfriend and once again offered his arm so they could go in together.

"Would you rather walk in alone?" He asked just to make sure.

"No, being with you makes me feel safe."

"Saga! Have you been running from us?" Esbjorn laughed, taking her in his arms and lifting her in the air. "We are all missing you so much."

"I miss you too, I've just been so busy. Work and babysitting for Gemma..." She murmured.

"Hmmm you have your lying voice, Sag," Noak quirked an eyebrow and Billy cleared his throat uncomfortably, none of them seemed to even notice he was there. "Come on, what really happened? Are you being mistreated in England?"

"Mistreated? Look at her!" Goran teased, giving her stomach a squeeze. "She gained some weight, she's been eating well! That's really good, remember how she was always moping around right before moving? Saga is looking much happier!"

"Yes, I see that," her father joined them. "Looking much happier indeed. I missed that smile."

"You look beautiful, baby, so beautiful! Soon you'll be the one standing there in a wedding dress," her mother added. "Speaking of, where is Ake? I thought he moved here to be closer to you."

"Haven't you heard? Ake moved back home actually," Saga chuckled nervously. "It's been a few months, we are... Not together anymore."

"What? He broke up with you?" Noak asked.

"He wouldn't dare..." Ivar muttered.

"No! He didn't, it was mutual. None of us were happy, he didn't want to live here and I didn't really like him anymore," she explained.

"Didn't like him anymore? And since when is that a reason to be breaking up? I found you a great boy!" 

"I'm grown, father, I'm a woman now. Don't you think I have the right to choose who I want to be with?"

"And who could possibly be better than Ake for you, Saga?" Kajsa asked.

"M-my boyfriend," she pointed at him, and he finally approached the family, his legs barely holding him up straight. "His name is William Delaney, but everyone calls him Billy. He's a chef and we are living together most of the time, that's probably why I gained some weight. He is amazing, so smart, hardworking, and kind. He has a heart of gold and makes me really happy."

"Hello, sir," Billy shook Ivar's hand and did the same to each of her brothers before delicately greeting Kajsa. "It's a pleasure to meet you all."

"Why does he talk like that?" Goran asked.

"Because he's Irish," Saga mumbled. "He also just moved to the country recently with his friend Alfie. Alfie is Gemma's son, Gemma was married to Jason, and Jason is now marrying Inca, so he's not just some stranger."

The silence that took over that conversation was deadly. No one dared to speak and Saga's dad still seemed very upset about the end of her relationship with Ake. She knew that would happen, she shouldn't have introduced them at all, maybe just trying to be totally invisible during the wedding would've been better. 

"I see you are meeting the Irish! mammy, pappy, Billy is fantastic!" Inca showed up out of nowhere to save the day. "He is such nice little boy, so funny too. And handsome, of course, they are going to have beautiful babies." 

"Babies?" Saga hissed.

"Are you...?" Esbjorn's eyes grew wide.

"NO! I'm not, no chance at all!" Saga shook her head and Billy quickly followed her lead.

"Yeah, I guess Inca meant after we are married, in a few years," he added.

"You plan to marry our sister?" Noak gave him the most skeptical look. 

"Absolutely, she's the most amazing girl I've ever met and I'd be a complete idiot t'let her go. Especially after I fought so hard t'have her... You know, sir, she really tried t'make things work with Ake. I was foamin' at the mouth with jealousy all the time,  she did the best she could. But I guess in the end love always wins, isn't it?"

"You love this man, Saga?" Ivar asked, Kajsa already melting from how sweet he was and how clear his intentions were.

"I do, more than anything in the world," she took his hand. "And if you still don't like him, please come over tomorrow for dinner, he's the most amazing cook."

"Oh yeah, I'd love t'make somethin' for my future in-laws, whatever you want," Billy offered. "I can even make a typical Swedish dish if you like."

"He's being so nice, Ivar," Kajsa sighed, completely mesmerized. "Wasn't that what we wanted? For her to be happy? Back when you chose Ake she was so sad, don't you remember?"

"She was always crying," Inca added. "And it's the 21st century, forcing your child to be with someone like that is not right."

"I do remember, I thought it was just jitters, I didn't think she was actually unhappy," he scoffed sadly. "Well, if you are really serious about marrying my Saga and not just make her wait around like this bastard Jason did to my Inca... Then you have my blessing."

"You have my word Mr. Adolphson," Billy nodded, trying not to seem too giddy from getting his approval. He could've sworn the night would go a very different way.

"Thank you, pappy," Saga grinned widely. 

"But I will be coming over tomorrow, William," Ivar warned. "If you are not making a good janssons frestelse, I guess you are just not good enough for my daughter. It's her favorite dish, you need to be cooking it."

"I'll do my best, Mr. Adolphson. May I have your next dance, Mrs. Adolphson?" he held out his hand and she took it, blushing slightly.

"Of course, young man."

"Sweet! C'mon Sags, let's get this party started!" Alfie pulled her by the hand to the dance floor, still holding a couple of scotch eggs and munching on them. 

"Maybe we were lucky, pappy," Goran pointed out. "Saga could be dating him."

—————————————————— 

"So that went well!" Billy loosened his tie as they finally arrived at the flat. "Your family is way less scary than I imagined."

"I told you. I knew dad wouldn't react too badly at her wedding. Maybe on any other day he would've beat you up, but we got lucky, didn't we?" Saga kicked off her shoes and collapsed on the sofa.

"Good t'know," he laughed. "You're a good strategist. Now y'just gotta teach me that dish he wants. What is it?"

"Oh, it's very easy, it's like a fish and potato casserole, I can teach you," she pulled him down with her and leaned against his chest, remembering how they danced after everything was settled. How he held her so close, swaying gently to the music and stealing kisses when nobody was looking. 

"I think I can manage," Billy wrapped his arms around her. "Guess now I better start thinkin' about how I'm gonna propose t'you."

"There's still so much time," Saga laughed.

"When the time comes... I need t'plan ahead, I wanna top Jason's confession when he asked your sister to grab his steady horn so he could take her on a magical adventure right after settin' fire to himself."

"Yeah, that'll be very hard to top," she nodded with a giggle. "But I guess you already know what to say. Remember that time? Jason made you pretend like I was Inca and propose to me? You are my perfect person and I see you perfectly."

Her heart raced just thinking about that day, the kiss that came after... She couldn't believe she was actually his girlfriend, that he actually liked her. 

It felt like a dream most of the time when he looked at her with that charming smirk, when he kissed her and it still felt like the first time, chest to chest in the bathroom the first night they met.

"I wanna find new words," Billy explained. "I wanna find a whole new way to surprise you and make you say yes."

"I'm the luckiest girl in the world," she mumbled without even realizing it.

"And I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I'm glad I didn't give up, sometimes I feel like a complete homewrecker, but... When y'look at me like that, it's hard t'feel guilty at all."

#me and ms adolphson #me and mrs jones fanfic #me and mrs jones #billy delaney x oc #billy delaney #fanfic #robert sheehan character fic #robert sheehan fanfic

[yakumtsaki]

Why do you dislike Blue Meatball?

New reader

i dont just dislike blue meatballs, im scared of her bc she is as smart as she is pure evil. if u want u can familiarize urself with the meatball saga in generation 1

#rr #Anonymous

[kingkatsuki]

if i can keep ur notifs on through the meatball and ghost piss saga i will keep them on for shitposts jo

I don’t know why this sounded like a challenge👀😭😂

I thought you’d love a cheeky bit of ghost piss though Aali🥺

#jo talks