#there's so many things i want to clarify in my writing and put like extra notes and stuff but i needed to avoid too much of that so the pos

[profblahson]

Finlandia

Figured that I’d look into a piece of music that never fails to

A) Make me cry

B) Fill me with hope and determination

(The video unfortunately does in fact have some audio artifacts, but the performance with the full choir is, in my opinion, the best one available on YouTube)

History

1899: The Grand Duchy of Finland is experiencing a tightening grip by the Russian Empire. The Grand Duchy wouldn’t become independent until 1917, and Russification - the Empire’s process of limiting the Duchy’s status and working to abolish its political powers altogether - was in full effect. The Russian Empire began to declare Russian Law as law of the land, and the Duchy must pledge their allegiance, effectively downgrading from Duchy to a state, ignoring any attempts at autonomy.

The Finnish people were, naturally, angry. They began to push back. They had already begun a nationalistic cultural movement in the 1830s known as the Fennoman Movement, where Finns aimed to expand and raise their culture to a national level (a huge part of the movement was the study and spread of Finnish as a language, instead of Swedish or Russian).

By the 1890s, Jean Sibelius had established himself as a renowned Finnish composer in his homeland. He was approached to provide some music for a demonstration in Helsinki. The original title, Finland Awakes, debuted at this event in 1899, as the final movement of a suite. This suite was itself a commentary and story of the struggles of the Finnish under Russian rule. The final movement we now know as Finlandia aimed to describe Finland rising up and becoming independent. Sibelius later reworked this movement into a standalone piece, and a chorus was added as late as 1948. Below is a screen grab of the translated lyrics, from Finland.fi

The continuous interest and performance of the piece between its premiere in 1899, revisions, and addition of the chorus really speaks to how powerful the composition resonated with the people of Finland (Sibelius himself became exhausted with its popularity!).

The tone poem has become a symbol of Finnish nationalism and freedom from the Russian Empire. Let’s dive into the actual music!

The Music

Dark, cloudy, and loud brass chords start off, punctuated by tumultuous timpani rolls. The storm continues.

The upper woodwinds respond, attempting to pierce the sky with some hope, brought back down by the strings.

An ascending bass line leads into a short repeated call and response by the strings and winds. The second time, an octave higher, stretches even further up, again trying to breach the sky.

The storm returns, launching into a brass fanfare announcing the coming strife. The timpani murmurs trade off. This figure returns several times throughout the remainder of the piece.

When the strings return, they’re chaotic and unruly.

The celli state a transition that fights against the time signature, and launch us into one of the most iconic heroic themes written (I don’t think it’s any coincidence that so much of the music for the piece uses ascending melodies, and this heroic theme sounds like a call to action).

The heroic section is repeated - then the brassy storm and frantic strings return. As the music takes us through, the clouds finally fully part.

Enter the chorale. Calming, joyous, full of hope. Even without words, the melody sings, brings one to tears. Woodwinds make the first statement of the chorale, contrasting with the tumultuous strings and brass that led us here. The strings murmur underneath the entire time, and eventually echo the winds for the second verse.

(Below, I've roughly analyzed the Chorale. I haven't done this in a hot minute, so stuff might be off, be gentle)

Low strings restate their fight against time to send us into the final sections of the music. Everything comes together: brass fanfare, the ascending flight, ending in an extended version of the chorale stated by the brass and winds while the strings fly high above! The final resolution is loud and full of passion for the coming liberation of Finland!

The Chorale

I took the first verse in the woodwinds and condensed them to a simple four-part score for easier analysis. It's surprisingly simple, seeming to function primarily in Ab Major, dipping briefly into the relative f minor (the original home key), before resolving in Ab Major.

I did find the use of a minor vi chord for the climax of the chorale, as we usually expect something strong like a Major V or I chord here. To me, this signifies the turmoil of the Finnish, reaching for their freedom. The lyrics at these chords are "The skylark calls" in the first verse, and "Finland, Arise" in the second, being very literal in their purpose - the lyrics are about going up, the music is literal ascending.

There's a lot of using inversions in this voicing, which adds to the lack of stability. (There's more nuance than I can put in words in a Tumblr post, but generally this seems to be the case in the chorale.) (I intentionally made the final chord I instead of its voiced first inversion, as that's its purpose, it does seem to actually be voiced inverted, however, and I might be wrong to call it I as such. I digress.)

Closing Thoughts

Finlandia is one of those pieces that I am always able to come back to (and regularly do - it’s on a playlist I shuffle for work) that will always make me feel emotional. The burning desire for liberty and independence! The perseverance against strife! (I’m a sucker for stories that are about overcoming odds or staying strong in the face of adversity.) This tone poem beautifully captures the struggle of the Finnish against the Russian Empire, as well as their determination for freedom.

And the message resonated with the people of Finland. The national orchestra of the time took a revised version on tour in the early 1900s, spreading the name Sibelius around the world. As mentioned, even he was surprised and a bit annoyed at how popular the work was - he was afraid of it overshadowing his larger works! But the accessibility of the music, with such a powerful message, I believe is credit to its success and longevity.

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Thanks for reading! Feel free to provide feedback or don’t, I’m a doofus just gushing about music he likes. It was fun for me to research the history of the music and do some analysis!

I have other pieces in mind I want to explore, but if there’s anything you want to share with me, please feel free! I love finding and exploring new music!

Thanks for your time.

#Youtube #music analysis #finlandia #classical music #profblogson #there's so many things i want to clarify in my writing and put like extra notes and stuff but i needed to avoid too much of that so the pos #wasn't a million miles long #it's already a #long post #so i apologize #please ask questions if you want clarification or anything because this was fun

[sehodreams]

Pathetic people also fall in love

WC: 7.3K (I’m so sorry it feels like with every fic I write more)

S: Eunseok is busy enough with his life, he has an 8-year-old daughter and is overworked at his job, he didn’t need to add another thing to that list, so when he puts the unused room in his house for rent, he expects his life to become easier, not to wonder why his tenant is so hot!

TW and Tags: Singledad!Landlord!Eunseok x Tenant!Plussize!reader, aged up Eunseok for the story, all consensual, mutual pining, smut, p in v, use of condom (poor Eunseok is traumatized after his first daughter), fingering, mentions of dacryphilia, fluff (I think near the end, if you don’t think so please let me know and I’ll erase it from here), they’re just two losers falling in love.

Comment: Hey guys, sorry for not having post much lately, this was actually first a Sungchan fic because an anon asked me for a Singledad!Sungchan, but while writing I thought wth this is my baby Eunseok and changed it. I want to clarify that this is not dark at all, so be careful if you go through my other fics because most of them are, I’m all soft since 119, still hope you like it!

You were the best tenant anyone could ask for, and Eunseok knew that, so why was he acting as if he was desperate to drive you away?

When you moved to the room next to him in his house he had his doubts, you were younger than him, which usually meant problems, like drunk boys out of his house throwing up on his flowers at midnight, or loud music when he tried to work, but he needed the money and the extra help, and when he interviewed you, you were relatively fine, a young girl that moved away for school and was more than eager to help around for a significant discount on her rent.

You were so fresh, a 22 year old student with the character of an older sister, and he liked that, you always paid your rent on time and made cookies on friday night instead of going out, you also took care of his daughter when he needed to go out in an emergency at work, only asking for some food when he came back, so you were a good girl and the best tenant.

He couldn't lie to himself, he liked you a lot, which made him feel pretty much guilty, because you were just a sweet young thing who hadn't discovered how the world worked, while he, even if he was still young at his 27 years, had gone through everything in a rush, from heartbreak to disappointment and frustration, perfectly knowing he shouldn't look at you the way he did.

He had too many responsibilities to let himself be swayed your way, he had an 8 year old daughter, an overworking job and too many things on his shoulders, and your presence had started to bring him problems, especially at night, when he dreamed of fingering you in the kitchen before breakfast to thank you for making his coffee, or you receiving him in the entrance wearing nothing but an apron with flour stains, and after you gave him a taste of your freshly baked cookies, he dropped to his knees to taste something even better.

He dreamed all that and woke up feeling more tired than when he went to sleep, and with a painful boner that wouldn't leave him alone until he came over the bathroom titles when he took his quick morning shower, thinking of you with him there, taking his length like the good girl you were.

He couldn't look at your face when you said good morning, the guilt making him blush to his ears, wishing he could go back in time and not let his impulses win over him, because he was sure you would feel repulsed if you ever found out what he thought about you.

For you, he was just your landlord, the older guy with a daughter that worked in a restaurant and brought you leftover pasta every now and then, nothing more, and he had to come around that.

But you made it so hard, making breakfast with your pajama shorts and the thin t-shirts that showed your beautiful nipples, bending down with that gorgeous ass when you pulled the tray out of the oven, or with the sound of you vibrator that woke him up at 2 am, with your little moans going through his wall and making him gulp before he decided to wait for you to cum to go back to sleep.

He could help you, he thought that every time he heard you, he could walk the five steps to your room and fuck you like you deserved, nasty and rough, telling you how good you acted that day, making his favorite dish for breakfast, or playing with his daughter until he came back home, "Such a good girl, don't you want to be my little wife? Such a sweet thing should cum over a real dick every night".

His cheeks became red, he shouldn't be thinking that, not before work where he could do nothing to soothe the need.

He rushed to the door, with his coffee cup in one hand and his daughter backpack in the other, she was already waiting for him in the entrance when you ran to them, were you going to give him a goodbye kiss? He wished.

"I made too many of them yesterday, take them for lunch" you gave him a paper bag with two muffins, he felt the sweet aroma of them through the bag and his eyes followed your lips when you talked again, "I already put one in her lunchbox, these are just for you".

He wanted to kiss you so bad, he didn't care that your hair was still ruffled from your night, or that you weren't wearing any makeup at all, he thought you looked fucking gorgeous in that moment, and he wanted to kiss you to say thank you, thank you for being so good, thank you for treating his daughter with care, thank you for everything you do for him even when you didn't need to.

"Okay" he said, and left.

"Okay?" Sungchan asked when he arrived at work and told him what he did.

"Okay" Eunseok passed his hand through his hair, exhausted with everything, with his 10-hour shift, his daughter telling him she missed him, and his body not being able to sleep properly because it needed his tenant.

"What an asshole, that sweet thing just gave you two of the best muffins in the world for free, she made your coffee and helped you get your daughter ready for school, and you say 'okay', not even a 'thank you'? Man, if I was her, I'd leave your pathetic ass immediately, doesn't matter how cheap the rent is" he grabbed one of the little pastries and was about to eat it when Eunseok snatched it from his hand.

"Mine" he said and walked away, making Sungchan scoff.

He didn't meant to be so cold, it was like his body was in survival mode, trying to save his feelings from getting hurt before he even got a chance to do something about them, it'd be too uncomfortable if things didn't work out, you were precious for him, and he didn't want to lose you, but if he kept acting like that, he wasn't just going to drive you off, but you'd hate him in the process, and he couldn't deal with the thought of you hating him, not like that.

That night, when he arrived from his shift, he brought pizza and your favorite drink.

He left them in the counter and walked to his daughter's room, the house was in silence, his daughter already sleeping in her bed and after giving her a good night kiss, he searched for you, you were nowhere sight, so you must be in your room, right?

When he knocked no one answered, where could you be?

You came out of the bathroom seconds later, with just a towel wrapping your body, your tits were overflowing from the grip it did to not fall and he couldn't help but watch you from head to toe, your uncovered shoulders, your soft thighs, even your pretty feet with red nail polish.

"Hey Eunseok, you're early today" you proceeded to tell him about what his daughter had for dinner and how she was sleeping already, and that you were waiting for him before you went out. Almost everything got lost in his ear, he was too busy watching your back and the drops falling down your neck.

"I brought pizza" was the only thing he could say.

"Thank you, I'll eat it after I come back" you closed your door before he could say anything more and, not knowing what else to do, walked to his room.

He looked himself in his mirror, his boner was showing in the reflection and his face was red, he really had a problem, so he took care of it while listening your soft voice singing on the other side of the wall, feeling like a pervert when he finished over his hand.

He changed his clothes for something more comfortable and went to the kitchen to eat a slice of pizza before bed, he was tired and even if he came back earlier than normal, his body was exhausted from all the nights without sleeping well.

He was just finishing his portion when you walked down, looking like a fucking angel ready to take him to the afterlife.

You were wearing a white flowy short dress, showing your beautiful curves and the full of your chest through the cleavage that made you look even more angelic.

But where were you going dressed like that? It couldn't possibly be...

Your phone sounded before he could ask and you ran to open the door, a skinny boy with long black hair was there, waiting for you with the worst resting bitch face he had ever seen, so different from your excited ear to ear grin, "Hi Wonbin" you said with your pretty smile, and he only gave an acknowledged nod in response. Asshole, he thought.

He couldn't say anything to stop you from going out, to scream how you were his and how that lanky boy couldn't give you what he could, he wouldn't appreciate you like he already did, because he didn't know how special and amazing you really were.

Eunseok, still in the same place, heard the door close and then a car starting outside, driving away.

He felt fucking pathetic looking at you smile to another man and leaving the house with someone like him, but maybe that little boy was better than him, even if he didn't like the thought, he could be younger than him, and not have a daughter, just a normal boy for his age, without the weight of thinking about the future, because he didn't have anyone who depended on his actions, just himself.

He closed the pizza box and grabbed a beer, such a pathetic loser, he told himself, having the girl he wanted so close and stopping himself from getting her, blaming his circumstances instead of the reality of him being a coward.

The night felt longer than usual, he used to think that nights didn't have enough hours to rest, and now, with you outside, he thought it felt endless.

He just needed you back home, to know where you were, and what you were doing, with him steps away, to know you were safe.

Hours passed and when the eleven-news started and some traffic accident showed on the screen, he heard a car park out of his place, recognizing your steps to the door. When you opened the door he saw you alone, with a sad look and your pretty hair different from when you went out, as if you tried to brush it with your fingers to look put together before you walked in. His blood wanted to boil at the thought of him touching a single strand of your hair, but he was too preoccupied with your face, what could've happened in your date for you to arrive like that? Was he the jerk he appeared to be? He knew that boy didn't deserve you, but at the same time he wished he was wrong.

"Welcome back" Eunseok said, giving you a small smile. You dropped your purse to the floor when you saw him, looking too exhausted to reciprocate the awkward greeting smile. He felt bad for you, you continued with the disappointed air all over you and he didn't know what to do to cheer you up, "there's still pizza in the kitchen".

You denied his offer, walking to the couch he was sitting, letting your body fall on the other side of it, leaving a big space between you.

You watched the news together for a couple of minutes, in total silence. He understood you didn't feel like talking, you went out after such a long time, getting all dolled up with a dress he had never seen you wear before and such uncomfortable shoes. You almost never went out like that, more into comfortable loose clothes, and around the house you never used make up. He still saw you gorgeous though, but Eunseok was different, he thought that when you had your hair up in a ponytail while cooking, or when you left his daughter use her toy makeup on you, and he loved to see you wearing that swimsuit when you played on the child pool with her, your tummy showing through the clothing and your full chest covered with a top that wasn't your size, it couldn't be your size, he swore that because every time you used it your tits were too much for it and the fabric was hanging on for its life over your body, which to be honest, was incredible hot for him.

And you did all that for a boy that couldn't even walk you to your door at the end of the date, he can't imagine what else did he do that night to make you come back home with such a disappointed look.

"How was the date?" He asked and sipped his can of beer, trying to appear nonchalant, like he didn't care, but he was dying to hear about it.

"It wasn't what I expected" you answered while taking off your high heels, he saw a little blister forming on your feet and he wanted to grab them and give them a well-deserved massage, he was dying to do something for you, but he shouldn't, so he did the only thing he thought would comfort you without him touching you, he passed you his beer for you to take a sip, which you did, you grabbed it and drank a big gulp of it, looking a bit more refreshed after, making him feel good with his choice. "He made me pay for the movie tickets" you continued.

Eunseok opened his mouth, not believing what you told him, he knew the boy was going to be a jerk, but to such extent?

"Yeah, I know" you said when you saw his surprised expression, making you laugh but from embarrassment. "I... I didn't know how to say no, we were already in the que, and I thought that maybe it wouldn't be that bad, maybe it was going to be just that and then he'd pay for the popcorn, I-I don't know what I was thinking"

Of course you knew what you were thinking. You didn't go out with him for the movie, you wanted to get laid, and he was the only one who had offered to go out with you after so long, you didn't have another choice.

You weren't an easy girl, you knew you deserved more, but since you had moved to Eunseok's house you felt more and more needy, praying every day for him to not notice how your thighs clenched when he was around you, or how you touched yourself when he took care of his flowers under the sun, the sweaty look of him was too much for you to contain himself, and you had fallen for various reasons, how he always took a few of his precious creations to decorate your room, how he always brought you your favorite pasta when it was on the daily menu of his restaurant, even how he made sure you were always comfortable around him and his daughter.

How could you not fall for a guy like that? So caring and sweet, and you lived with him, it was like torture to have his smell around you, his body, his warmth, and not be embraced by him.

The only reason you accepted to go out with Wonbin was because your friends told you he was going to be a good fuck, but the only nearly good thing that night were his guitarist fingers playing with your pussy during the movie, "for the ticket" he had said, but you honestly would've preferred the money. It felt good for a second, the teasing was hot, and you told yourself it'd get better, but when he took you to his car and to that dark place instead of a nice room and a comfortable bed, fucking you in his backseat and coming after a few thrust, all that after he asked you to give him head, pushing his fingers on your well braided hair, making a mess of it even when you told him you didn't feel like it, everything got boring for him and he drove you home in an uncomfortable silence.

You felt disgusting when he dropped you off and immediately drove away, leaving you there in front of the house, not even checking if you walked in safely.

The only thing you could think while walking those few steps to the house was Eunseok would've never treated me like that.

So, when you opened your door and saw him sitting in the couch, in front of the tv, when he should be asleep after a long work day, waiting for you, you wanted to cry, because he hates the news, and he would never watch them willingly when he could use that time to sleep instead.

You contained yourself and sighed, biting back your lip from quivering and showing how weak you felt at that moment, you were a big girl, and you couldn't cry every time something went wrong.

But you couldn't deny that you were also more vulnerable because of him those days, and how he was pushing you away when you tried to get closer, just that morning, when you gave him those muffins, it hurt you to hear the 'okay' came out of his mouth, it felt like you were being too much for him and he didn't know what to say to your advances anymore, and perhaps that's why those days he seemed in a worse mood, troubled with your presence near him.

When he offered you his beer you feel slightly comforted, how pathetic, you thought, a girl feeling comforted just because the guy who was rejecting her gave her a sip of his beer.

Some pop star was in a dating scandal and you couldn't care less, but you didn't want to leave, you wanted to be with him for more time, as long as he allowed you.

"Did you want to go out with him?" He asked after a couple minutes. You denied with your head.

He finished his beer, so he got up and walked to the kitchen, coming back with two cans and opening one for you, sitting slightly closer this time.

"Then why did you accept?" Some politician was talking about being honest on his campaign, what a bullshit, he would lie, just like you, a normal human being, has being done since you came to that house, acting like you didn't feel anything for Eunseok, and that everything you did was out of your heart, it partly was, but you did it more eagerly because you wanted him to look your way, to maybe see you different, not the young girl that rented the room next to his in his house, and if not an equal partner, at least some kind of comfort from his daily life, something to come back after his tedious routine and that could give him the peace he needed, just like he and his home did for you.

You decided to not lie anymore, if he asked you something, the least you could do was to be honest with yourself and with him, you didn't have long until everything spilled out of the glass already full of your feelings, and it would kill you to move away from him, his daughter, his house, and everything that had become familiar to you those months, but if you were still going to get hurt, you should be honest before everything went to hell.

You drank another big gulp of your beer before talking again, to feel more confident, "I wanted to get laid". He almost choked with his drink, coughing and looking at your direction to try to find out if you were making a really bad joke or you were telling him the truth.

You didn't look at his direction, some festivity was about to start in a few days and the city was getting ready for a festival, it looks pretty, I should go with his daughter before I move out, you thought.

Every day you had contained yourself from going to his arms, kissing his lips and asking for him to pay you attention had come to that, and you had resigned to leaving when he asked you to, because if before he was uncomfortable, now he was going to find you unbearable, and it would kill you to stay and see the place you called home crumble in front of your eyes.

Still, you had never felt so free.

He saw the decision written all over your face, you knew what was going to happen next, and he was afraid of the outcome, of what was going to happen if you ever left him, what would he do without your coffee? Without your laugh filling his house, without the smell of your shampoo all over the room after you took a long shower, or with the way his daughter had started to depend on you for certain questions, just, what would he do without you?

He wanted to come home after his shift to be welcomed by his two favorite girls all over the world, and he was an adult, he would get over it with time, but he didn't want to, he had already compromised with many things, with leaving college, with not going to friend's parties anymore, with only drinking beer once a week, with not being the first place in his life never again, he had already accepted too many things, and you leaving wasn't one of them.

"Well, you didn't have to ask another man when you have me right here" he couldn't process what he said, he just said it, his lips moving before he could think twice. You stared at him taken aback from his words, you expected him to call you dumbass or anything along that, but he was making clear you had permission to see him not like your landlord or just an older guy, but like a man.

Your eyes interlocked and the tension got thicker, both of you were closer without any of you noticing, shoulders touching, and when you moved your face slowly towards him, waiting for him to tell you he didn't mean what he just said, he tenderly grabbed your face and made you kiss him, erasing all distance between you, finally.

Your eyes shut and you kissed softly at first, tasting the lingering bitter flavor of his cheap beer, enjoying every second of it, until you whimpered on his lips, and he, reacting to it, tapped twice with the palm of his hand over one of your thighs, to signal you that he wanted you to be over his lap.

You let your weight fall over him and he loved the way he felt your ass flushing with his knees, his hands roamed all the way from your waist to the softness of your legs and followed the same trail back, addicted to the way your body, even being bigger than normal and nothing like he ever had in the past, felt perfect on his hands, as if you had been designed for him and only him to touch and indulge in.

The hem of your dress had rolled with your movements and his hands didn't help neither, trying to lift it up as much as he could to feel the plump of your ass.

"To the movies with a dress like this one? Tell me the truth, did he finger you with people around? don't you feel any shame?" He asked, making you rock your hips over his boner. You sighed on his neck, not daring to look at him in the face, shame creeping your red cheeks.

"Why do you say that?" You asked curious of his remarks, they were true, but how did he know?

"Because he's no better than me, and I'd have done it too", he made you look at him, one of his hands still over your ass and the other on your jaw, admiring you over him, his glossy eyes were all over your face, from your flushing cheeks to your lips with the mild cherry color of your lipstick that was almost completely removed by his kisses "you're too pretty, no one would be able to resist" he said, lips finding your again, kissing you deeper, wanting to satisfy the part of him that had been screaming for your mouth every day until now, as if it was possible to ever calm it.

You started to blush even more, embracing him with your arms around his neck to kiss him better, and after a couple of seconds, when he let you breath and hide your face on his neck again, licking his lips and still making you bounce with the strength of his hands on your waist, moving you to his liking, his bulge perfectly touching your clit under your panties, you nodded to his past question, Wonbin did finger you, and you did feel shame, but with him, with Eunseok, you were sure you'd have let him take you right there in front of everyone and you'd have said thank you when he finished with you.

"I'm sure he fucked you, did he fuck you in his car? He doesn't look like the kind of boy who takes you to a nice room to give you what you deserve, I'm sure you couldn't even cum once with him, this sweet thing needs to be taken care of by someone who can handle it, someone like me" he whispered that to your ear, biting back his groans and making fun of you trying to hide your soft moans, adding to that the way you nodded to everything he said, he felt exhilarating, wanting to tease you even more, wondering what would happen, would you cry for him to stop? Or even better, would you cry for him to not stop?

The thought did things in him, and as a result, his thumb touched your pussy over the fabric of your panties, fumbling around it to feel how wet you were getting, making you moan louder than you expected, sensitive after being teased before but not finding the satisfaction you needed.

You supposed it was that, how Wonbin played with your pussy just hours before, you didn't think it was probably from all you went through for months, hiding the way you needed him, or how you played with yourself thinking of him behind your door, everything accumulating and being too much for you in this moment, the cathartic minute in which you finally were feeling his body against you, his aroma as close as you begged past nights, and his hands prying the place that suffered his absence the most.

"It hurts" you cried, begging for him to touch you directly with his hands. The air in the room was hotter and your untouched skin was burning. Your hips moved perfectly over him and he imagined himself making you lie on the couch to fuck you until you screamed, he was in pain too to be honest, too many nights needing you almost made him weak, but he wanted to enjoy it as much as he could, in case it was the only night he'd have the privilege of having you, to never forget you in case what you had decided for tomorrow didn't include him.

He kissed you again, he couldn't take you there, on his ugly old couch, he had to take you properly, like you should be treated, "I know baby, I know" he said, eyebrows frowning and breath hitching from getting closer to his orgasm, he had been too painfully untouched and sure you were the same, asking for each other at midnight, each of you in their own rooms, praying for the other to do something about their desire, "let's go to my room, okay? I know you can do it for me, I need to touch you more, and for you to be comfortable in every moment of it, my precious baby"

You wanted to tear up of how good he talked to you, giving and asking for compassion at the same time. For him, you had earned the right to be treated like that, to demand it from him, working hard and giving parts of you he didn't ask for and hadn't realized he needed until you came into the picture of his dull and exhausting life, making it brighter and more bearable every day you spent together.

You didn't want to move, so close of your first orgasm over his lap, but he clapped his hand over your thighs, telling you to move away from him "come on angel, I know you're a good girl, you heard me, let's go" you were a good girl, his good girl, so with the pain of your heart, and your clit, you moved out of his lap, letting him drag you by the hand to his room. The path was short, just the staircase and a couple steps to his room, but the way he was showing you his back, making you walk as fast as him to get to his bed, made your pussy throb. This was happening, really happening, and you smiled feeling content.

When both of you arrived to his room, a secret place you had never been able to set a foot in before, door always closed, you sensed the last line between you both blurring, because nothing, not even an earthquake, would make you get out of his bed tonight, you'd receive everything you had been yearning for, and you'd be grateful at the end, in case he only accepted you one time.

He kissed you again against his door, making you stand on your tip toes to meet his mouth. Your chest was touching his and you were dying for them to touch directly, without any fabric stopping your nipples from feeling his hard chest, even if he didn't train that much anymore, you had seen him come back sweating after a morning jog every sunday, waking up at 6 AM to come back with your favorite bread freshly baked.

While kissing he made you walk back to the bed, pushing you over it and taking off his shirt to then go back to his duty over you.

His mouth couldn't leave you alone, and groping everything he could with his hands and rutting his erection over your pussy, he made sure your lips, and your tongue, were focused on him.

"Please, I need more" you told him, tired of not feeling him on your skin.

He didn't answer you, two of his fingers found your clothed pussy and pressed your underwear, sensing how wet you were under his fingers, a big warm spot was formed, and he decided to not tease you anymore over it. His palm went under your panties, and if over your panties he felt you wet, now you were dripping. His hand was quickly covered on your juices immediately, making him groan, how could he tease his baby so much when she was suffering like that?

"Fuck, I’m sorry angel", two of his fingers found your hole and started to play with you, fucking you without problem because of how wet you were, and you received him like all the time, making him feel welcome with your warmth.

Your body was shaking under him, hands on his chest touching his skin, trying to grasp as much of him as you could, slightly pushing him away of how good he was working you with just with his fingers, but without the force to actually do it, it was just your body reacting to him, because you really wanted him to be closer.

"Wait-" strangled words wanted to come out of your mouth, he was so good with his hands your eyelids were fluttering and the only think you could see in the dark room, with the little light coming through his curtains, was his grin watching your pussy take his fingers, and his arm making that possible.

Two fingers became three and his hand started to fuck you more, like trying to find something inside you, fingers in and out on scissoring movements, until you started to cry louder and leak over his hand, making him feel proud of his work, "that's right baby, come on, cum all over my hand".

You had your first orgasm, making a mess on his hand and your panties, it was uncomfortable to keep wearing them, wet and sticking to you, so he took them off, making you lift your legs to take them. You didn't know if he could see you in that darkness, but he could, your pussy glistening was impossible to ignore, and the image in front of him was everything he had been dreaming of for months.

He took of your dress too, enjoying the view even more, you weren't wearing a bra, and your tits jumped in front of him, gravity making them fall a bit to each side of how big they were, so fucking hot.

His mouth went to your little buds, tongue flicking over one and grabbing the other, and exchanging the work between each of them after he thought it was enough attention to one. They were so soft under his hand, skin overflowing his grip and making him think maybe I should die here, because there was no place more comfortable than there over your beautiful chest.

"Eunseok, please don't tease me" You cried under him, you had watched him so concentrated on your chest you didn't want to distract him, but the pain on your pussy was becoming too much for you, and you were still leaking all over his grey sweatpants.

"Such a crybaby" He smiled, pulling down his sweatpants and his boxers, just enough to free his cock and put the condom he had on his nightstand, he wanted to fuck you, but he had already learnt his lesson, he wanted to take care of you for a long time, to fuck you many more times. He slapped your pretty cunt with his length, enjoying your little jolts. "Sorry, it's because you're the prettiest girl, I couldn't contain myself" he said, pushing his dick over you, simulating the way his cock was going to fuck you in just a second, you opening your legs even more without you intending to, all so he could be closer to you "I'll give you what you want, don't worry" he kissed your forehead to take your attention away from the tip of his dick sliding through your hole, but it was so long he still had you squirming under him, even with all the preparation, you felt him stretching you like no one had done before, "You're dripping all over my bed, it's because of me or him?" He asked after his cock made a wet sound when he finished pushing it into you.

"Uh?" You couldn't process his words, too lost into the sensation of his cock inside you, fucking your guts, so deed the only thing that went through your mind was fuck me, fuck me.

"Who made you like this, me or him?" He repeated his question and you realized who he was talking about, Wonbin, and even if he had fucked you, he was nowhere near Eunseok.

"You, Eunseok, just you" you cried, his hips had stopped for a second to hear your answer, and when he heard the desperation on your voice, he understood you weren't telling him just what he wanted to hear, but the truth. Your nails started to mark his back and he, because of the intensity of the moment, didn't feel it, too concentrated on the sensation of your walls accepting him so easily, something uncommon for him since his length was bigger than normal, but of course his little angel would do it without problem, you were made for him, and he had no intention of ever sharing you again.

His hips moved again, pulling as far as he could to dive all in, making your tears drop one by one of how good you were feeling, you felt high, like touching the sky, and with each trust he took you back to earth, to that room, demonstrating you how the only thing you needed to feel complete was him.

Your heart was racing, you could hear it beating on your ears, but you didn't know what was that you were hearing, his cock making you ignore anything else that wasn't him and his groans.

"Fuck, so tight, has no one been taking care of you since you came here? I'm sure your little toy doesn't compare" he asked and the rhythm of his hips increased, his cock pushing deeper with each thrust. "Were you thinking of me when you used it? Did you want me to hear it so I could go to your room and fuck you?" You shook your head, you used it because you were too horny after spending time with him, and just the image of him coming back home with his white shirt and his ruffled hair made you crazy, he always looked so stressed you had to resist the temptation of dropping to your knees to suck his cock when he told you your daily good night, your mind only repeated I'm here, please use me!, and without being able to receive anything from him, you had to rely on your toy.

You wanted to talk and tell him everything, but no coherent sound came out of your mouth, your insides were being so fucked any function in your mind had shut down, focusing only on your pussy and the pleasure he was giving you.

You couldn't talk and that frustrated you, making multiple tears fall down your cheeks, sobbing at this point. Your hands didn't want to let him go and you tried to hug him and get him closer to you, but you were crying so loud he had to stop to check on you one second, to make sure you were okay.

He looked at you worried "what's wrong baby? Am I being too much?" He caressed your cheek with his thumb and cleaned the strand of tears.

You denied, focusing all your mind into talking again "feels so good, please don't stop". He stared at you for a long time, appreciating your face and your body, trying to get all into his memory to never forget how beautiful you looked at that moment, crying for him and his cock, begging for him to not stop.

He didn't know what he would do if he couldn't fuck you again, if before he was deep into you, now he was in a place that had no escape.

You moved your body under him, trying to get the same feeling from seconds ago, making you forget everything again, making you forget who he was, who you were, and what would happen after you both finished.

"You have no idea of how much I fucking like you" you wanted to say me too when he talked, but his hips had started to work you again and you could only moan loudly when you tried to talk, so you decided to bite your lip to stop being too noisy instead. "I'm sorry baby, I know you want to be loud, but we'll get in trouble" you nodded, understanding why he said that. He put his hand over your mouth and kissed your temple while fucking you, pushing you to the same abyss he was in, needing more of your juices to make a mess over his bedsheets, to let your smell linger around him for more time.

The way he was looking at you was something you'll never be able to forget, something you had never seen before, no one, in all your life, had stared at you with such intensity, full of need and possession, like screaming mine, mine, mine, and you couldn't correct him, he was right, you were his.

Your walls clenched around him and he let your mouth free to kiss you again, his tongue had intruded into your mouth, stealing the little air you had and making you even more dizzy, mind scattered all around the room like your clothes, pushing his dick in a more erratic way, not calculating so much how and what to push, just feeling.

"I'm so close, cum with me angel, fuck" his hips were practically punching yours, making the sound of both skins clapping so dirty you felt yourself tightening just with it. You nodded, both of his arms were on each side of your head and your hands held onto them, trying to not fall wherever you felt you were about to, as if he was going to push you, with him, into some state of clarity you had never experienced before.

He did push you into something new, the orgasm was so hard you lost yourself for a second, mind becoming black and eyes rolling for a long moment, your heart and breath completely stopping and toes curling into the bed, feeling his cock throb inside you while some liquid leaked out of your used pussy.

He brought you back to reality with soft kisses. His hair was sweating over your forehead, and you felt his skin sticky against yours, but you felt complete, after so much time, you were where you should be, in his room, on his bed, with him and only him.

He let his body fall over yours, squishing you with his size, his cock was still inside you, and you didn't want him to move, he could stay like that all night if he wanted, you'd never ask him to move.

Sadly, he moved apart minutes later, when both of you had regained their breaths and your hand was caressing his broad back. He lifted himself, still between your legs, pulling his dick out of you to remove the condom, making you whimper a protest. He laughed quietly, looking down at you, such a needy baby.

He walked out of the room and you started to get doubtful, was he going to regret everything you had done? You loved every second of it, you didn't want to be apart from him ever again, but maybe... Maybe he just needed some release.

Your eyes started to get wet, you always thought you would be satisfied with one time, but you became greedy after feeling his touch, and one time would never be enough again.

He came back minutes after, you heard his steps, but you didn't turn back to him, afraid of what he would tell you.

"Angel, I brought you your tea, have some before you sleep" he touched your shoulder and made you look at him, when you did, he gave you the softest smile and moved a strand of your hair out of your face. You wanted to cry again, touched by his treatment.

You drank some of it, still fresh and cold, while he cleaned you with a wet towel between your legs, so you could sleep more comfortable.

Then, when you gave him the cup, he tossed the used towel away, and, after leaving your cup over a couple of his gardening magazines on his nightstand, he made you cover yourself under his bedsheet, lying next to you, accepting your hug into his arms and giving you a goodnight kiss on your forehead, erasing all doubts from your head, because he'd never be able to give up on his little angel again.

#riize x plus size reader #riize x reader #riize smut #eunseok x reader #eunseok smut #eunseok scenarios #riize imagines #riize scenarios #plus size reader #chubby reader

[bookshelf-in-progress]

My Favorite Lines from Each of the Stories I've Written This Year

There will be spoilers.

Without Words

I've said that my favorite line is:

Even now, I am silent. But my silence fills with the sound of beating wings.

But I think my favorite might actually be the ending (a contender for one of the best endings I've written).

There are no words to express all I want to say. Fortunately, we have never needed words. I force my way past my brothers, throw my arms around Christian's neck, pull him in for a kiss, and let my silence speak for me. This time, he understands.

Purity of Mind

Either this hint at Adam's fairy tale identity.

Adam stroked his blue-black whiskers, neatly trimmed for his homecoming. A deep chuckle rumbled in his throat; after months of her tiptoeing around him, her frankness was amusing. "I paid your parents richly for the privilege."

Or this chilling reveal of it.

He would never have opted for such an impersonal death. It was much more satisfying to feel the life draining away beneath his fingers.

Length of Years

I like how concisely I managed to summarize the lifetime of events that kept the prince from returning to the tower.

"I might have returned, when my temper cooled, but then there were the wars, the diplomatic missions, the voyages, the marriage treaty, the children..." He sat wearily on her window ledge. "By the time life slowed down, I assumed you'd long ago moved on, and it would have been disloyal to seek you out."

Loving Memory

I love the beautiful irony of this scene ending.

"What would she need to do to make you love her? What would you want in a wife?" Someone who can come into a ballroom clad in furs and not feel shame. Someone who knows how to laugh and cry. Someone who loves to watch the northern lights. Someone who travels night and day to apologize to a man she betrayed. In the end, I choose the diplomatic answer. "I don't know that I can ask for more than what I already have."

My very favorite part might be the flashbacks. I wanted this part to involve the usual scenes from the beginning of the fairy tale, but was afraid this would involve a lot of extra writing. So I love that I managed to do it with five two-sentence-long scenes.

As sappy as it is, I can't help loving their reunion. (Even if I don't think "senseless" is the word I was going for here.)

"Karina," I breathe. "I remember." "Everything?" she asks, as tears stream down her face. "Everything," I say, and kiss her senseless.

And my very most favorite part might be their quiet scene together afterward, where he's rejoicing in their reunion in ways that put me in mind both of Manalive and the Eden/salvation story.

My own. My beloved. My wife. It is like falling in love all over again.

In Chains

Of course it's the moment of reveal.

Vallen met the young man’s eyes and explained as calmly as possible, “I admire your devotion, but the river is only strictly required in the marriage rite—” Of kings.

A Song of Starlight

The last part of this line was always central to my idea of the story, but I also love the opening clause that let me transition to that moment.

After eternity had come and gone, the song slowed and faded away, and Birgit was herself again--cold and alone, but no longer afraid.

Stars and Shadows: A Fairy Tale

Even when I was uncertain about the readability of this strange style and feeling self-conscious about posting it, I thought the entire story was worth it just for this line.

Your breath will shine before you in delicate white clouds, your very life made visible for the fragile, lovely thing it is.

The True Story: An Epistolary Novelette

I love Penny's relatable line about the horrors of recommending books.

It's always a little bit horrible when someone else reads one of your favorite books, because if they hate it, it crushes a piece of your heart, and I don't have that many pieces to spare.

I like this line of Ben's, which clarified some things about the philosophy of this story for me.

Making peace with mystery--knowing that some things are ever unknowable--is not the same as refusing to believe the truth that comes before your eyes.

And this one (which let me get a bit more theological than I thought I could get away with).

I may not know how these books come into my shop, but I know from whom.

Penny's freakout over the loss of Mercator always makes me laugh.

If the U.S. Postal Service is responsible for their destruction, I'll...we'll...we'll make them pay! This is a murder and there must be justice! Don't worry, I don't blame you. But the next mailman to cross my path better watch out.

As does this follow-up one.

Still no sign of Mercator. Did you forget to send it again, or do I have to lay siege to the post office?

I love this moment because Ben surprised even me by unbending and talking like an ordinary person with a sense of humor instead of a Victorian businessman with a stick up his rear.

This is me not saying I told you so. That doesn't leave me much else to say.

This is my favorite description of Cardinal's Map I've managed so far.

It's the most beautiful...well, not fantasy. But it's not not fantasy.

I'm very pleased with how Christine's reaction to Cardinal's Map turned out, but my favorite lines might be

It's like this book reached into my soul and rearranged the furniture.

And

It's just...a story, so I let my guard down and it got under my skin.

And this. Even if it gets a bit on-the-nose and sappy, it's still kind of sweet. (And it amused me while typing it because the author's hand in all this is me.)

There was someone's hand in all this--an author arranging all the pieces of the story in a way I'd never have been able to achieve on my own. Maybe before that'd make me feel helpless, but now, I don’t know, I guess I feel cared for. Like someone’s watching out for me.

The Sylph in the Storm

I've always liked this reveal.

Then the firelight revealed what the night had hidden. Though the man stood as tall and real and human as any of us, the light shone through him.

This scene with Captain Avery was one of my favorites in the original version, and was a big reason I kept coming back to this scene and loved it enough to try to turn it into a short story here.

“Sarah,” the Captain said suddenly, “could you pour some tea for our guest?" Tea? For a sylph?  I didn't understand how he could consume anything, but the Captain knew about these sorts of things.  And when faced with the question of what one did with a sylph in the parlor, tea seemed as sensible an answer as anything else. The sylph stood and tried to decline. "That's very kind, but you needn't..." The Captain's face was as firm as it ever could have been when he'd commanded a ship.    “You've form enough to take food, and you're tired enough to need it.” “I can't take repayment...” “Good,” the Captain replied, “because none of us have any hope of repaying you.  But you need to allow us our gratitude, and you'll need nourishment before you can do much else.”

#adventures in writing #maybe this is self-indulgent #but if i'm not allowed to appreciate my own writing who is? #i'm not sure if it makes it better or worse to do it all at once #it at least seemed like i could rationalize it if i presented it as a year-end wrapup

[leothil]

Anon who asked Evcndiaz about disconnect between old and new fandoms. I partially meant following, since bigger and older blogs rarely follow newer ones. But I also meant things like reading fics by new authors that aren’t established 911 writers, or even reblogging newer users’ meta posts and gifs. It feels like the big blogs in this fandom really only engage with each other’s work and that can be disheartening to new fans who want to share their work with a community that doesn’t actually seem interested in what they’re putting out. (I don’t mean this in a guilt tripping way, of course no one is entitled to attention and you don’t need to engage with content you don’t like. It just feels like sometimes our work isn’t even given a chance since we haven’t been here for that long.)

Hi, thanks for clarifying! I do have a few thoughts about this!

Obviously I can only speak for myself, but I do think many others have at least similar experiences. When you first enter a new fandom you usually find lots of new blogs to follow, and there's a lot of new content to engage with. But at some point you start feeling like you get everything you need from your dash and you stop actively following new people whose content get reblogged onto your dash. It still happens, of course, but at least I'm much less likely to start following someone at this point than I was in fall 2021 when I joined the fandom. And it's not because newer and/or unfamiliar blogs are doing anything wrong, your dash is just saturated and the threshold for starting to follow someone becomes higher.

I think finding new fic authors suffer from the same saturation. After being in fandom for a while, you've usually found a good batch of authors that write in a style you like, and if they're still putting out new fics to read, trying out an unfamiliar author is an extra step to take in the process. But that's not to say it doesn't happen! I keep finding new authors I like, just at a much slower speed than in my early days in this fandom. I'm also reading less fanfiction overall right now, and I think that also applies to a lot of people who've been in the fandom longer. And that also makes the process of trying out a new fic author more tedious, as you tend to prioritize new fics from authors you already know you enjoy.

When it comes to meta posts I've also noticed that many of those I've seen lately tend to discuss things that have already been talked about a lot in the fandom. Newer people in the fandom have no way of knowing that, of course, but many times when I've skimmed a post my reaction has been "well, yeah, we talked about this at length back in the break between 5A and 5B" or whatever. So there's no net new information, you know?

It is sad if newer members of the fandom feel like they're being kept out of the community, because I definitely don't want anyone to feel like that, but I do get why the situation is what it is right now. I don't really have any good solution to offer up either, other than to try not feel discouraged if your posts don't seem to get noticed by older fans, which is a pretty meh advice. I'm not sure exactly when you entered the fandom, but if it was during this hiatus, I remember the fandom always coming together and mixing much more while the show is airing and we get new material to obsess over. I found several new favourite fic authors last spring while 6B was airing!

And even if you follow me and I don't follow you back, that doesn't mean I'm not open to talking to you! I love talking weewoo with friends, mutuals, followers, and anons, and my inbox is always open for chatting, requesting or giving fic recs, or exchanging thoughts about our blorbos.

#thanks for turning up in my inbox! i hope you understand my perspective as well! #and again - this is just my experience. #ask frida #anon

[mac-aro-ni]

Housekeeping Notes

Hello to the various new followers of this blog in the last few months!

I have noticed that some of you seem to be brand new tumblr accounts. I appreciate you following this blog so quickly after joining tumblr! It warms my heart that so many aromantic people are able to find this blog so quickly!

However, I have only realized this because of certain "common practices" on this site, and I'm worried that some of you might be getting blocked by other blogs you try to follow! If your blog is completely blank (no icon/profile picture, no title, no descriptions, no posts, and all the default settings like having your likes and follows publicly visible), you unfortunately look indistinguishable from a new spambot that hasn't started their second phase of operation yet. A lot of users on this site block accounts that are blank, out of an abundance of precaution for removing spambots from their blog so they don't get spam links in their replies/reblogs. Spambots start by following a massive number of accounts and existing in silence for a week or more, then suddenly start posting stolen pictures from the internet before moving on to posting content that breaks TOS and is full of links trying to scam anyone who clicks them. A blank blog is not a guarantee that in a few more days, you won't start spamming them.

Luckily, there's an easy fix! Simply pick out an image of any kind to act as your blog icon, change your title to anything a human would write ("I'm new!", "~lurking~", and "not a bot" are all perfectly acceptable options), and change your description (a lot of us do mini bios there, but you can also just have something like "I'm new to tumblr and figuring out what I want on my blog still" )! Another quick fix is to make one (1) single post that clarifies you're still adjusting to tumblr, and leaving it as your only post til you start reblogging stuff.

Don't be afraid to hit reblog! It's kinda like retweeting, or sharing on Facebook, or saving a pin to a board on Pinterest. You don't have to add anything to a reblog, but you have the option to add tags (which can be used to organize your blog into different topics like having different boards on Pinterest or albums on Instagram, or to just talk about the post in a way that requires more effort for someone else to include in their reblog from you) or to add text/images/links to the body of the post (that's how those long chain posts with many different blogs adding on their thoughts happen!).

Reblogging is the lifeblood of the site. Tumblr has added algorithmic options to the dashboard in recent years, but most of us prefer to use tumblr the old-fashioned way and only see posts from people we follow. Reblogging is how you get a post in front of your followers! It's how your followers get to know you! Have fun with it!

Liking is the bonus extra-love button, or for when a post is one you like but for whatever reason you don't want it on your blog(s). Reblogging is a better method of engagement, but liking isn't completely useless like a lot of people try to say. Tumblr has added a thing where, if your likes are public, your followers might occasionally see a post that you liked on their dashboard. Most of us keep our likes private, though, so many people aren't aware this is a thing now, and we like things specifically to engage but not show it off on our blogs, so we don't want our likes showing up on people's dashes. I tend to like a post when I would maybe spam multiple reblogs of it but don't want to reblog it several times in a row and clutter up my own blog, or when it's a discourse post I agree with but don't want to spread the discourse around. Artists will often mention things about reblogs being better than likes and it is for this simple reason: reblogging means you are putting it in front of more eyes, and thus helping the artist find buyers/commissions and build their brand. If you follow an artist and hit 'like' on everything they post, consider reblogging some of them so more people see their art and they can get even more attention for their wonderful talent/skill!

Some other things:

For anyone who hasn't checked this blog's homepage out, you may be unaware that this blog is not a main account. It's a group sideblog, one that I do not own. The owner hasn't logged in to tumblr in years, so there won't be any calls for additional moderators for the foreseeable future (as I am unable to add new members myself because of the permissions set by the owner). I am currently the only active mod for the account, so only my main is currently linked in the bio. You can follow me on that blog if you want to get to know me better! I post way more stuff there, just because it's not focused on a single topic like this blog is. (Because this is a sideblog I cannot DM from this account, either, so if you ever need to DM me for some reason you need to go to my main and DM me there.)

I try to answer asks I get here as quickly as possible, and the anonymous option is on! I do my best to reblog things from all across the spectrum of aromantic experiences, but I only have my own experience to base my judgement on, so if there's a particular flavor of aro content you'd like to see more of (posts for a specific identity, more art, more comics, whatever), just send an ask and let me know!

#mod meg #not aro positivity #admin stuff

[rahleeyah]

I get where you're coming from regarding reviews that only ask for more content but it would also be nice if you acknowledged the reviews you get. I genuinely love your writing and I've commented plenty on your stories and heard nothing back. A simple thank you will do to show commenter that they're not speaking into a void. It's fine if you don't answer this publicly, I'm not trying to stir up drama.

I am actually really glad you said this, bc it gives me a chance to say why I don't:

It is completely overwhelming to me.

It feels daunting. It feels impossible. Even though there aren't that many, compared to other fandoms that are much bigger, the thought of responding to every single one makes me so anxious that I can't.

I want, very much, to write. I don't necessarily want to be a social media manager. And you have to be, on that level, bc this fandom is full of big opinions and I have seen so many people eaten alive over the last two years that I remain terrified, frightened that if I so much as express a thought everyone will immediately stop reading my work and I will be left alone with no one to share these stories with. Why do you think I don't tweet my thoughts? I am debilitatingly anxious.

A lot of comments say things like "I love this"; to which I can only say thank you. How many times can I say thank you before it makes me look trite and dismissive? No matter how much I mean it, how performative, how patronizing do those multiple thank yous start to look? Especially when I'm updating every day pretty much? I am asking this in full seriousness, if I said thank you in response to one of your comments, and you looked and saw fourteen other variations of "thank you" all in a row in the comments, would you actually feel that I had been gracious or would I look like a dick? Genuinely, sincerely, I do not say "thank you" every time bc I feel like that would make me look like a pretentious asshole. I have landed where I have bc I really thought no answer was better than a perfunctory, rote answer repeated over and over multiple times a week.

Some comments ask questions I can't answer without spoiling the story. Some comments come from perspectives I disagree with. Some comments bug me but were well intentioned. If I am to respond to every single one I have to carefully think my way through every word I say, don't give too much away, don't offend this person, don't express too much of an opinion bc then people will stop reading. There's 15 comments on last night's chapter; am I supposed to do this 15 times, every day, as a service? Haven't I already provided the service by writing? I wrote, someone commented, we have both ticked our boxes and performed our function in the ecosystem have we not?

Or am I supposed to write, and edit, and post, and provide links on multiple platforms, and then parse thru all of these comments and try to appease everyone and make sure that every single reader gets a response tailored made to them, and do this every single day (we're talking at least an extra hour's worth of work, every time I post, when I have already put hours in); is it my job to do all of that, in return for one comment? How much exactly is expected of me here, and is that exchange equitable?

I do respond to some comments. I responded to one last night, to clarify a point someone had asked about, and I do that when questions crop up, questions that can be answered without spoiling the story for others bc AO3 comments are public. I responded to people on in the blood who shared their own adoption stories with me, bc those statements were profound and I wanted them to know how deeply I appreciated them.

I am not a monster. I'm just anxious, and very tired.

#anonymous

[fantasydaydreamers]

hello!! i hope you're doing great ♡

i'm the anon with the fixation on the donut shop girl (lmao) and the one who asked if touya actually picked reader on spin the bottle! (and maybe something else lol) i thought i could use an emoji to sign my asks since i feel like asking you too many things (even if it's a bit late 😅) would this one be okay? 🍥 i hope no one is using it!

sorry for the rant!! i wanted to say that part 6 updates got me squeaking, kicking my feet and twirling my hair, have you considered writing a 15 minutes in heaven? (jk jk...... unless)

now fr... soft touya got me on my knees! (yes.) i loved how even after realizing reader actually was okay with sending him that text, he still gave her space to clear her mind (even though i was dying for a kiss). i'm glad touya is at least a bit self-aware and knows that it's a bit hard to trust him 😔 also this part made it clear for me that he's interested in reader only since that night, that's good to know! i thought maybe he had his eye on her from before, and he shot his shot at the party.

on the other hand, hitoshi still doesn't give me good vibes, idk why! like... it probably is just my personal taste and not that he's fishy or anything, but... his words at the end didn't sit too well with me, although it's normal he was so passive-aggressive lmao.

either way, tomura best boy.

dying for part 7!!

- 🍥

YES!!!💕 HII!!!! I remember and I hope my answers helped ease yours and everyone else's curiosity 🤭 (at least somewhat)

I LOVE ASKS!!!!! NO SUCH THING AS TOO MANY!!!!!😤 you can use an emoji if you want (I don't think that one is being used🤔)

OKAY!!!! SO!!!! (LONG ANSWER AHEAD SO IM GONNA PUT IT UNDER THE CUT👀)

💙💜

First of all, not 15 minutes 😭😭😭 I love how you didn't even say 14 to double it and just added an extra number LMFAOOO!!!

I'm glad you caught on to Touya pulling away and being like "I'm giving you space to sort everything out." AND MANNNN DID HE WANT A KISS TOO!!!!😩 he knows of his reputation so he gets it....but YES!!! HE ALSO CONFIRMED ITS BEEN YOU!!!

Now, I kinda teased the answer to this is a previous ask but I think I'll just clarify it here (sorry for not doing that before!😭) but at the party you were the only girl in the circle Touya hadn't been with yet SOOOO he picked you for 7 mins in heaven and before he could even try anything, you immediately turned him down.

Obviously, he knew why and bc of his reputation, so he thought he could be sneaky and seduce you (as he's done with the other girls who tried resisting him...) Turns out, that didn't work either and you ended up peaking his curiosity.... (this will possibly be explained more in part 7😭)

→ Touya: *is confused* "I don't....is she taken already? But I'm.....me?"

Half of y'all finding Hitoshi suspicious and the other half finding Touya suspicious is so funny to me???😭 y'all fucked up for catching feelings for two guys and sus them out?? BABE, LOOK IN A MIRROR!!!!LMFAOOO JK I LOVE YALL!!!😭💕

In all honesty, Hitoshi is hurt rn so he said that bc he's just....well....hurt😬. Tomura is here for everyone tbh....you've made a bestie for life🥹

Finally, there's been a few comments on part 6 asking about alternate endings and I'm so sorry but...that's not going to happen😔 I originally started this with one end in mind and although how TEMPTING it is to give them both an ending, only one will come out victorious. I WILL WRITE MORE FICS AND STORIES IN THE FUTURE GUYS!!!!!😭 LITERALLY RIGHT AFTER THIS STORY I TOLD YALL WHAT IM DOING!??!?? PLEASEEEE!!!!😭

We can all have a therapy session after? PART 7 SOON YAAYYYY!!!!!!!💕💕💕💕🎉

#THANK YOU FOR THIS BEAUTIFULLY LONG MESSAGE #I LOVE READING IT AND ANSWERING IT!!! I WAS SQUEALING WITH YOU!!!💕💕 #ask miss fantasy

[faroreswinds]

Hello, Japanese anon.

Musou announced the sale of 1 million copies. Many congratulations all around, but even people who liked the game are asking for dlc to clarify the story and cite the confusing endings. Others are less happy and note that the new wallpaper looks strange: “ah yes, Arval, an Ashen Wolf student,” and others point out that like in the game , Byleth and the church characters have been excluded. One comment I saw said Byleth was used like how zoos have pandas to attract visitors.

Many are furious and saying this is a shameless product promoting wars of aggression. They complain that the product was done only for Edelgard while spitting on the Church and message of the original game.

Others more like me are suspicious. One million sold despite previous sale information to the contrary…? And the very shocking, 40% discount on Amazon…this feels strange, and something does not totally add up. Others more angry say this is proof of a larger western fan base who was sold to more.

Japanese anon! I hadn't heard from you in a while! I had assumed you had grown bored of me, welcome back! :D

Many congratulations all around, but even people who liked the game are asking for dlc to clarify the story and cite the confusing endings.

1 million copies for a niche of a niche is very, very good. Regardless of our feelings on the quality of the writing of the game, the game itself is quite well developed. I cannot lie- I am happy for those who worked hard on the game, the modelers, the coders, the VAs, etc. It's the writing staff and the lead devs I have some beef with, haha.

I agree that I would like some DLC to clarify some things, like the slithers, the Nabateans, the ancient past, etc... And fix those confusing endings would be such a bonus. But... I highly doubt they will do that.

If they do, I will eat natto with mustard!

Others are less happy and note that the new wallpaper looks strange: “ah yes, Arval, an Ashen Wolf student,” and others point out that like in the game , Byleth and the church characters have been excluded. One comment I saw said Byleth was used like how zoos have pandas to attract visitors.

New wallpaper? What new wallpaper? Do you mean this one?

Lol, I love how they made the Wolves like.... their own thing, but in reality they are just extra units that can be recruited. Had to put Arval along side the Wolves, but didn't bother to try to fit the Church units in there. My husband Seteth has been rudely ignored!

(The panda comment is kinda accurate and funny, lol).

Many are furious and saying this is a shameless product promoting wars of aggression. They complain that the product was done only for Edelgard while spitting on the Church and message of the original game.

I saw a lot of comments thanking them for the game (some about where is the DLC), but yeah, I did find a few comments about the war of aggression stuff.

I will say it does really feel like the Edelgard show. Claude and Dimitri are just there for the ride.

Others more like me are suspicious. One million sold despite previous sale information to the contrary…? And the very shocking, 40% discount on Amazon…this feels strange, and something does not totally add up. Others more angry say this is proof of a larger western fan base who was sold to more.

Well, if it sold better overseas, it's not really the Western fan base fault... People will buy what they want to buy, and if the West likes it more, then it will sell more.

The only thing I find strange is that Fire Emblem TH sold about 3.4 million units or so-ish. That means, assuming every person who bought Hopes is a returning Houses player, that ~1/4 (25%) of the playerbase bought the musou. That's... a pretty big number. In comparison, AoC, the highest selling musou to date, sold 4 million units. BotW had sold 25 million units. So AoC sold 16% versus Hopes, which sold 25%. That's a pretty big difference for a much smaller game.

Still, Hopes sold way less than AoC but sold more when compared to the original games they are based on. That's more strange to me, personally.

#Three Hopes #anon asks

[vaguely-yandere]

omg!! chami chami!! thanks for always taking the time to respond and write out such long, meaningful responses!! u really do spoil me sm!! :D

that being said OMG pls dont take what i said about being friends too seriosuly!! i mean, ofc i wanna be friends w you but in my mind i meant like. just sending asks every so often and talking w u kinda like how we are rn!! i dont need you to remember my interests or anything!! anything i wanna discuss will be put in an ask, like i have been so far!! the great thing about asks is that YOU as the author get to choose when you respond to me!! the only reason i brought up how you might recognize my username is only bc i feel a little embarrassed liking everything and then sending messages on anon, it feels counterintuitive bc i feel like youll just know its me anyways. but please!! dont feel pressured into keeping my likes and dislikes into account bc i dont expect you to :3 were friends as in: i send in my silly little asks and you respond when u want and if u want!! <333

also, luckily im actually really good at setting boundaries!! one of my friends said that the only reason some of the people back in highschool didjt like me was because they thought they could step all over me without me complaining. im really friendly but i let people when i have a problem, which surprisingly, a lot of people cant comprehend?? the ‘mature adults’ were nowhere to be seen LOL ig it was back in highschool but still.

on another note, i honestly love taking up space (when its appropriate!) but i really dont want to overwhelm you!! i do have a tendency to talk a lot and freely express what i think (which is like. 4892992 things all at once as you may have noticed) this ties back into the whole ‘you choose when to respond’ thing bc i can wait as long as i need to to hear from you <33 i love hearing about ur yan OC’s(?) so far!! also dw, everything we discuss is purely fictional and for our silly little imaginations!! fantasy purposes only!! i just wanna make that clear for your comfort :D also idk if i made it clear enough but i am NOT in hs anymore, im a uni student and over 18 i just wanted to make that extra clear so you dont think im a minor!!

ONE LAST THING (i promise i’ll shorten these asks in the future omg): i could be wrong but im kinda getting the feeling you run a little on the mean side when it comes to yanderes(?) which is funny bc im a little on the opposite!! like im imagining us in a room w one of ur yans and theyre like all kneeling at ur feet and stuff while they shake and cry while you degrade them and step on them versus me maybe patting their head and holding them close afterwards to soothe them…the whiplash…<33 i mean, i have a little bit of a mean streak in me too, but i would feel too guilty to be TOO mean to ur yans whereas i feel like you wouldn’t care about that kinda thing and just go all out HAHA i could be wrong lmk!!! but it’s cool to know ur love language is acts of service!! i think that was my second highest, with my top being words of affirmation!! could u tell LOL

- sunny!! <3

aaa sunny darling!! youre spoiling ME with conversation!! honestly, answering asks is significantly easier for me than regular conversation because my monologues are much more socially acceptable and it also just tend to take pressure off of both parties! so dont feel pressured to send in a buncha asks! i just respond so often and so quickly because i too have many many thoughts and many words in my head and typing them out is very helpful! like a journal! and thank you for clarifying you arent a minor and its so nice knowing other people who tend to be disliked because theyre very sure in who they are! i used to struggle with setting boundaries which is very odd because of my personality and now, because i look very idk doormat-y, ppl commonly think they can walk all over me (another reason i like submissive yanderes/characters! they take me seriously from the start without turning me into a mother figure and dont have a weird complex that prevents them from seeing me as a fully functioning adult)

i also love talking a lot and taking up space when appropriate! ironic because i have agoraphobia dkajhfad but its also nice meeting ppl who are very much like me :33! and use yanderes and darker writing as a release from reality or just a nice fantasy instead of using my ideas as examples which has happened before because im pretty talented at writing horror or disturbing or niche things! twas not fun realizing the fanbase you gathered didnt understand the reason why you were writing the things you were writing!

also, dont shorten your asks!!!!! they took away the word limit on them for a REASON!!!! abuse your lack of a word limit to the fullest extent!!!

i do kinda run on the mean side when im being dominant, it kinda makes me feel a bit bad because i have issues even being fake mean but i just love humiliating my yanderes! seeing them get all red, teary eyed, its just so cute (i say that a lot lol)! besides, its so fun knocking them down a few pegs (sometimes with pegging for comedic sake) via some spanking, a slap, and a healthy dose of degrading! with a healthy amount of consent checks as well and soft stuff to balance it out <3 but i think it would be so funny seeing, say, the sensitive yandere having two darlings (the poor thing can barely handle one!!) where one is fairly mean and very degrading, teasing them for their issues controlling themselves, making fun of how red their face is, overstimulating them a bit and then getting passed to darling two who gently cleans them up and kisses away their tears and coos praises to them! their head would be spinning!

which i guess is also the allure of predatory darling! an aggressive side and a gentle side! perfect for everyone! <3

#sunny darling #darling #asks

[unhonestlymirror]

Hello I wanted to ask you for some advice I got a comment saying that they wanted to commission me but I’m a traditional artist and I don’t know how that would work? And I have never been commissioned before so I don’t know how that would work

Hello dear,

I can't say I'm such an expert in comissions myself (van-del if you're reading this I'm sorry xd).

But.

Since that person, I suppose, asked you about a digital comission, not just a comission - the first thing I'd done in your place is telling straight-forward that you are experienced mostly in traditional art. (but if that person didn't clarify then it's much easier to lead them to a favorable field for you.)

(Oh damn, I've seen so much threads about taking comissions but where are they when they're so needed?! xd)

Of course it's preferable to have a comission card(?) I guess, it's called so. But if you're LIKE ME don't have any - no need to panic! Ask about:

How many characters your client wants to see in ONE drawing (in two drawings separately - two prices)

PAYMENT METHOD. This is the most important point. Find out what online money receiving services work in your country - and what the commission is (not a drawing haha). PayPal, Ko-fi, Boostie, ByeMeACoffee, Patreon - and many others. It is better to plunge into jurisprudence and economics than to find out later why the client sent money - but they did not come. However, if the client can pay in cash, that's even better. Just don't forget to wear a long black coat and a hat.

It's preferable to mention in advance what you WILL NOT DRAW - usually people write "porn, furry, mecha, complex backgrounds", etc. For example, I don't draw bicycles, because they remind me of that jerk in a hurry who broke my brother's nose. Remember, that no one can force you to draw something uncomfortable for you money can but i didn’t say it

Ask in details about characters: their age, race, gender, hobbies, behavior, appearance, do they wear accessories (you can rise the price for too much details), their profession, their lifestory - for better understanding.

Usually artist set different prices for "just head / three quarters / full length" of a character. From cheapest to the most expensive.

Ask about what should happen with them on a drawing: they can stay still like manekens or being in a move. If you are confident enough in your abilities - specify the angle.

If something happens to them - specify in what place. It can be a park, a shop, a car interior, a palace - the complexity also increases with the background. Let your client know upfront if you don't draw complex backgrounds.

When you have discussed everything in detail:

If your client is not your close friend, it is advisable to require an advance payment (about 50%). And it is advisable to draw up an agreement in which you undertake to return this prepayment, if during the sketching you suddenly did not want to continue working.

It's time to discuss a deadline. My honest advice: "time you think it will take" + "one week". The overestimation of one's strength is real.

You draw a sketch. You DON'T put in much effort, but you make the future drawing understandable enough. Because your client can change their mind and say "oh, you know, i want them not sitting in a cafe but dancing. with glow sticks". - and you have to put in a lot of extra effort.

Remember: if you discussed all the details - and then you lost all desire to draw this - you are not an asshole if you tell your client "i won't do this". You are NOT an asshole if you drew a sketch, lost your desire, RETURNED THE PREPAYMENT and said "I won't do this". It's your own work.

You start drawing the whole comission. You put effort.

If you're starting to realize "+ one week" wasn’t enough - tell your client about the delay and offer them some additional extra drawings to make amends. If you draw them before the commission, send them first. Show your client "nobody's forgotten, nothing's forgotten".

If your client, after your presentation of the full work, says, “oh you know, I don’t want this at all” - that is, behaves like an asshole - you have the right not to return the prepayment and to tweet what a jerk this person is. (this will be impolite, but you will have the right to do so)

Not to overestimate your powers is just as important as not to underestimate your work! Ask yourself how much you would pay yourself for your drawing - and set that price. Do not get fooled by "why is it so expensive" whiners - if a person does not want to pay, they simply will not.

That is, I think I told everything important. Hope it helps and wish you good money! ☺️

#ask #comissions

[rigelmejo]

I'm in that awkward phase where I DO know enough chinese I just need to USE it. But using it is so much more effort...

I've been watching Love Between Fairy and Devil and SO many lines I know already in chinese, nearly all, occasionally I hear one new word. I've been caring what I hear to the English translation getting used. But even tho I could watch probably entirely in chinese, I'm watching in English because the mental effort is just lower. If I watch in chinese then I'd miss more just cause of the extra effort of catching everything said and trying to remember new hanzi I read in the subs, without the safety blanket of english subs to clarify if I don't hear well or don't read chinese fast. (Honestly 2ha drama should air for many reasons but one of them being I think if it aired with an English sub lag I would definitely watch in chinese only first - cause that's what happened with Word of Honor and my chinese got BOUNDS better those months just because it was basically forced to understand word of honor in chinese).

I've been reading 镇魂 and listening to the audiobook and honestly get most of it (certainly more than I ever did in the past), but it's a big time sink to complete those things and so with both I just haven't made much progress chapters wise. But I know if I just made myself spend the time on them, I COULD complete them. My understanding is adequate.

I listened to eps 1-5 of Guardian and it's lol so apparent I learned from that show FIRST cause I know every chinese line in the script, it's as easy to listen to as an English podcast. I should listen to that more but it's not challenging enough to force me to Improve, the way the novel audio or reading would actually force me to make progress noticeably.

I was listening to Chinese Spoonfed Audio today, and I know all the words (of the first several files anyway). I know enough now to just shadow the audio with my own speaking, and actually think about the grammar and word choice differences between the Chinese and English translation. I was listening primarily as review for conversational practice, and shadowing for speaking practice, since I had to talk Chinese recently and my active vocabulary was absolutely pathetic when I did ToT (i can read/listen to Chinese and recognize most words I learned, but cause of the Yakuza games japanese focus this spring all my active vocab seems to be focused on Japanese and its been hard to recall Chinese lately when trying to speak).

And then like. There's audio dramas. Oh audio dramas~ I've been thinking about this for a while, and I'm sure I've mentioned before, that audio dramas with English (and auto generated or put on speaking language subs) would work perfect for testing Listening Reading Method study method. But it requires focus for X minutes which I am just not good at consistently doing - I can read or listen then sidetrack, but doing both at once with no break for an hour really fries my brain. I'm not great at full focus on one thing for long time stretches. So I've been wanting to test it so bad but just... putting it off. Then it's like, well I Know I could just understand the audio dramas probably if I wanted to JUST listen and enjoy them. But I'm an overachiever and my finicky brain INSISTS if I listen to the audio dramas I might as well read TOO and get double practice in. Which then sounds like too much effort to really do...

Anyway, in summary lol: I think what would cause the Most improvement at this point would simply be USING THE LANGUAGE MORE. Easy peasy right? No studying, no new word lookups etc (at least for now - long term I'm due for a grammar review and active language use practice with writing/speaking). As far as comprehension goes though, my fastest way to make progress at this point is probably just literally watching/listening/reading stuff in chinese and going through a significant amount of content. It's just... when will I get myself to do it. ;-;

#rant #progress #in my defense im moving and do not have a lot of time #so im not doing much studying or hobby stuff like books #but once i find a new place to live id like to make progress again #anyway its mm. a cool place to be comprehension wise right now #while id still like progtess. its also really enjoyable that i can just listen to audiobooks right now #when i feel like it. or compare chinese audio with english subs now when i watch a shoe #show. its fun to just do this

[kinocomix]

Devlog 16: capturing the magic of living indoors

The script for TSTW is around 7 scenes long so far. At the beginning every story needs time to introduce its characters, movies get away without this by structuring the plot itself around meeting the characters in some way– think about how you always hear about having to “challenge” your characters or how they “evolve”. When a story has lower stakes it can be a bit more difficult doing this without boring the reader, so I've been putting some extra care into carving out the first section. in any case…

Hopefully the title of this devlog gives off the correct vibe which is “ew how tf”. Here's one of the central ideas I want to put across in the killouette project and I'm going to illustrate it with an anecdote. Some years ago, I bought a used notebook from a bookshop. I unfortunately don’t have it on me right now to be able to share pictures of it but it looked something like this:

(this image is not the notebook, this is from google)

to clarify, this notebook is USED used, this was someone’s diary in the 40’s or something. it didn’t have anything too earth shattering– i’m not about to find some hidden treasure any time soon, however it still was really fascinating. This fascination is why a lot of stories are told in the form of  “found media”. it’s not necessarily because the narrative is trying to be passed off as legitimate, it’s because a lot of times, the way you tell a story is equally as important as the contents of the story itself. here’s an example. compare texts A and B below:

A:

the boy fell unconscious and had to be taken to the hospital. the paramedics answered his phone and told his mom.

B:

“-hey, do you know anyone by the name of [name]?

-yes, it’s my son, who is this?

-M’am, your son is currently passed out. we’re taking him to the hospital right now.”

Both of these texts say the same thing. it could even be argued that B says less because it doesn’t mention that the mom knows she’s talking to a paramedic. However, B is less boring to read because it frames it within the context of “something is happening” instead of “let me tell you that something is happening”. In games this is called immersion and it’s vital to your enjoyment of any piece of media. This is why when a story breaks the 4th wall too many times it becomes hard to be invested in its narrative. Even deadpool knows that there’s a limit to this and you’ll notice that when the authors of deadpool want you to take it seriously, they stop fucking around.

going back to the notebook i bought, you can now sort of see why the act of reading someone’s mundane thoughts is way more interesting with the right framework. This is the framework that Diary of a wimpy kid  is built around.

now I already know that I want to do this for killouette as well, but I want to dial it up a notch. Killouette is going to make her diary a fully illustrated comic, basically reenacting things panel by panel. this makes the animal designs diegetic if done correctly and gives us the chance to do something else that’s really cool, which is to have her pass her notebook around to all her friends and have them write things in it as well. So effectively, what we’re really making isn’t just a notebook, it’s an entire folder of documents and papers compiled by these kids. this could include stuff like schematics, pictures, sheet music, another smaller book, handwritten notes by people, annotations by the kids, etc. etc. 

there is an added value by deciding to give the book this treatment. First, it gets rid of the annoying “all seeing reader” element. In TSTW and Almost Home, seeing everything makes sense because the camera is meant to highlight the emotion of the scene and not spoon feed you information. think about how in this scene in Almost Home, I never actually show or tell you what happened to Adelaide in detail. You just know it from her saying something about it. I didn’t show you because it’s meant to be inferred. Here, showing more would have been spoon feeding you a sad story which I didn’t want to do. 

In contrast, I wrote an entire chapter to tell the reader that someone is afraid of being poor. The reason I did that is because I thought the scene after it where you see the same person being a jerk regarding money would be more impactful knowing the journey they took to get there. 

the second thing this decision helps with is production. As long as the end result look pretty and was made ethically, it really doesn’t matter how short the production timeline was. A comic book drawn by a child would be best done on an actual ruled notebook using whatever a child would have access to and scanned. If you’ve ever doodled comics with a big pen before, you know those don’t take much time at all. this would give more time to work on the more complex aspects of the project like making the sheet music, the pictures, putting the whole thing together… you get the idea.

now let’s go back to the title real quick. In the story, Killouette can’t leave her house (we’ll be talking about that in a later devlog). What this formatting of the book needs to do is show you the mental goings on of this child. The mantra of “show, don’t tell” applies best here. I don’t have a lot of interesting set designs to show you cause it’s just going to be the inside of her room. What I can show is the inside of her brain.

next week we’ll be tackling some of the themes.

devlog updates on tuesdays.

#comic #webcomic #webcomics #kinocomix #devlog #graphic novel #writing #journal comic

[pichlive]

So this is my thoughts on the Sonic Forces DLC– Long overdue due to some IRL business, but I'm ready to get this out so I can finally transition this blog onto the next game I wanna live blog. Be warned that spoilers are beyond the read more!

So… I have… a lot of mixed feelings on this DLC. As you might have been able to tell— I myself had so much trouble with this thing that I had to use mods just to get through it after Sonic's first trial! Which is sad to me– I had such high hopes for it, and I was having fun… until all the issues came trickling in. Which is a shame– because there's so many ways in which it's really great extra content… and then so many ways it kind of… falls flat in the end to me? Like they bent back to a lot of needless criticisms of the game to… in my opinion, kind of a version of the game I don't really like all that much. 

To get it out of the way right here right now: The dlc is just insanely unfairly hard. And to clarify: if this was even fair at all, I wouldn't mind. Personally, I would have preferred this difficulty be reserved… for hard. And you know. Not for people playing on easy, let alone the kids doing that? My issue isn't even just that it's hard– it's that the difficulty is made for a system that won't accommodate it. This is NOT a system made for like, the level of intensity or precision that these challenges want you to do. It feels like a desperate attempt to appear more 'hardcore' and… kind of strangely rushed? For a free DLC? Like some of it doesn't feel… all that playtested. 

Now, thankfully, much of the writing is still sosososoossoooooo solid to me. I did like that Sonic's friends took more precedence here– rescuing themselves and working to help Sonic, and god, Amy's VA just NAILED IT AND WENT OFF. But these character interactions without Sonic– as much as I love him– were a treat to see, and to see different dynamics was so refreshing. If this is a step into the water of possibly having more interactions like this… then I'm all for it. However, despite how much I liked all that… the writing near the end was… how do I put it. On one hand, I love Sonic and friends and Eggman and Sage all being involved in the final battle! On the other, as cool as Sonic going all out was, removing Sage vs The End feels more… generic? 

Other than all that– It did feel like there were way more issues here than in the original game, at least I swear there were– but I will be transparent and say I have this game on an external drive so I will account for if that caused any errors at all. Regarding how Sonic's friends played: Amy's is the best, and actually feels like she was playtested/the best balanced? Knuckles was just frustrating for me, and Tails was fun but also extremely OP in ways that I'm not sure were intended? But the cyber levels of what I've played are fantastic. Way more objectives with extremely fair level design and BANGER tracks in all of them!

I dunno, it feels like on some level they got scared of people reacting negatively to how experimental the game was, how 'easy' it was– so they tried to appeal to an audience of people who wouldn't really even like this game anyway. It feels like a really awkward hybrid of both that uh– the 'hardcore' video game people aren't… going to even look Sonic Frontiers's way, or at least they likely won't like how they balanced the game and are more likely to install their own mods. And the regular audience is obviously not going to like having to slog through the sudden 'difficulty' shift either! So… unfortunately– while the writing is easily a 4/5 to me… this DLC gets a 1/5. I could only recommend it either to people who really think they can handle the 'challenge' or are patient for it– or for the most dedicated of sonic players. Or at the very least– just get to Sonic and at least play the cyber levels. Those seem pretty solid. I guess the other cutscenes if it gets to you too much you can watch on youtube but even then, imo, I liked the original ending better– even if again I did like the character interactions here.   

#sonic forces the final horizon #Sonic forces review #sonic forces thoughts #Sonic forces the final horizon spoilers

[pcstvlates]

FRANCIS’ DEBUT ALBUM ‘WASHUP’ GETS DELUX RELEASE

It’s been only eleven months since the release of the new folk-pop singer’s debut album. Francis Mancini, better known by just ‘Francis’ has been taking TikTok by storm with her raw and intimate music. Fans have been begging for a deluxe version. Finally, Empiric Records gave in and have released the special addition to include four extra songs, two covers, and two new singles released within the past few months (one of them being with Sawyer, which had the internet gagging).

This month, at Woodstock Magazine, we got to sit down with the new folk sensation, and talk to her about her iconic record.

Read the interview below, and check out the album HERE.

JONES: I’m going to be honest Francis, I didn’t expect your deluxe version to include covers, what made decide to include the two iconic songs?

FRANCIS: Honestly, I think the songs on my album were really tough to write. Like, they’re really personal, they took a lot out of me. At the time the album took off, and there were talks for a potential deluxe, I couldn’t really imagine putting myself in that headspace. It has to come naturally. So really, if the big guys wanted a deluxe, it was going to have to be covers.

JONES: But you did include a couple originals, though they’re singles people are already familiar with. And they stack up against the rest of the album in terms of intensity. What was the choice with that?

FRANCIS: Well, they’re still released pretty close to this album, and in terms of era and theme, they still seemed to fit quite well. Hopefully, my next album doesn’t have to be a drugs, loneliness, and losing a love. I hope I’m somewhere else by the time I start on the next thing.

JONES: I wanted to ask about that. This album is known for how hard it hits, and you’re not shy about what this album is based off of in your personal life. How has it felt sharing that with the world?

FRANCIS: It’s a part of the healing, honestly. I’ve been so grateful to be able to share my life through music and that the music reaches so many people. I mean, the process of making this album was brutal. I was at some pretty low moments, but the craft of it, I knew, would be so important for me. Now that it’s out there and I meet the people it connects to, I know that taking this leap of openness was worth it.

JONES: Can you tell me about the title ‘WASHUP’, what was the message you wanted people to take from it?

FRANCIS: It’s two-fold, honestly. I mean, there’s the sense of being a washup in the sense that I was a failed playwright, drug addict, dumped two months before my wedding, and in a city where I had few friends. I was washed up. But it’s also this idea of washing onto shore of a new space, I will wash up onto the sand and I will be reborn. This is me moving on.

JONES: That’s really beautiful. Now I have to ask, you did a song with Sawyer, the ex-band member of the super succession rock band Riot Band. None of us saw that coming, but the song is genius. What was that like being in the studio with such a talent?

FRANCIS: I mean, totally honest, I wasn’t really a fan of Riot Van when they were in their hay day. And I think it’s important to clarify he reached out to me. I didn’t even know he sang until he showed up to the studio and we started working together.

JONES: I would have loved to been a fly on the wall in that studio. What was that process like?

FRANCIS: It was totally wild. I mean he’s such a professional, it was like the moment he stepped in, it was all about the music. I had had a verse of something written, and he’d had some lyrical ideas as well, it was just uncanny that they happened to fit together so well. They when we kind of figured out the groove, it was like we shared the same mind. I had began playing on the piano and he began to play his guitar and then next thing I knew we were recording and I was crying and we were done.

JONES: You cried?

FRANCIS: A little, yeah. I mean, when we sang, the energy--- I mean, it’s like--- really, I can’t explain it, I was just overcome. 

JONES: Sounds like you two have something special. Do you think you’ll work together again?

FRANCIS: I mean he’s busy making his album, I don’t think that’s going to be in our futures anytime soon.

JONES: I think people are disappointed to hear that, but I understand. Thank you for taking the time to talk to Woodstock, Francis. I’ll be playing this Deluxe album on repeat for weeks. 

FRANCIS: Thank you, my mom said the same thing.

#v. unless you mean it #c. francis mancini

[64bitgamer]

[woodworkingpastor]

Serve One Another (Laying Down Our Rights) -- Galatians 5:13-15 -- July 31, 2022

When I was a boy, my family visited my Grandaddy and Nannie Harvey in Easton, MD, several times per year. We’d load up the car on a Saturday morning and set out from our home in Broadway, stopping for breakfast at McDonalds in Woodstock, about 30 minutes into the trip. You might think that the stop at McDonalds was part of the plan to make the visits to my grandparents extra enjoyable, or a way for us to have breakfast without mom having any dishes to wash before we got on the road. But looking back, I think the real reason we stopped there was because no matter how many times my dad would tell my sister to go to the bathroom before we left the house, she would inevitably have to pee 10 minutes after we’d left.

After we had our breakfast, we’d get back in the car and finish the trip. When we arrived, Grandaddy was almost always waiting for us. We’d greet him, unload the car, then get back in the car and ride into town to visit Nannie at the flower shop where she worked. We’d visit her for a few minutes, do a bit of shopping and sightseeing in town, then head back to their house. Later, my dad would make another trip into town to pick Nannie up from work, because Nannie never learned to drive, and then we’d have the rest of that day to visit. My uncles and aunts and cousin who lived nearby would usually come to dinner, and we’d sit around while the adults talked about the same people they always talked about when we visited. Then we’d go to bed, get up on Sunday morning, and head back home.

One of the things that fascinated me about my grandparent’s house was the size of Grandaddy’s gardens. Their house was on a one-acre lot, and when I was young, about 1/3 - 1/2 of that was garden. Grandaddy grew just about anything you could grow in a garden—beans and corn and tomatoes and cucumbers and squash—row after row after row of these things. He did this because when he was a young man, they had a growing family and not a lot of money. So they grew as much as they could and canned quite a bit of it so they would have vegetables to eat throughout the winter. In his later years, he grew the garden simply because that was what he'd always done; it had moved from necessity to hobby.

There is one visit that sticks out in my memory. It was a hot summer afternoon and I was outside wandering around in the yard when a car pulled into the driveway. A man and a woman got out of the car; they had a metal bucket that was filled with something, but I was too far away to tell what it was. I watched them as they talked with Grandaddy for a few minutes, gave him the bucket, and then headed out to one of the gardens to pick vegetables.

It turns out that they had brought a bucket of crabs to trade for vegetables. With this unexpected barter, the rest of our day changed. I went in the kitchen and saw Nannie getting the big cooking pot out of the cabinet. She filled it with water and put it on the stove to boil, and once that water had heated to a rolling boil, she started dropping those crabs in the water one at a time, and we had fresh Maryland crabcakes for supper.

When I say, “we had crabcakes for supper” I need to clarify that a little bit because, actually, “we” did not have crabcakes for supper. Everyone else had crabcakes for supper.  I had a hotdog, because I did not like crabcakes. Mind you, I had never actually eaten a crabcake before, but I was filled with that special kind of wisdom that seven- and eight-year-old boys have in abundance, and I just knew that I did not like crabcakes.

The danger of misguided certainity

There are any number of lessons we could take from this story, but the one I want us to think about is this: we miss out on a lot of things in life because of misguided certainty. We can be so certain that someone or something is a certain way that we disapprove of, that we just write them off completely without taking the time to examine things a bit more closely to see if there is value to be found there. Eventually, I tried crabcakes and found out they’re one of my favorite things to eat. To this day I often wonder how many crabcakes I haven’t eaten because I was convinced that I didn’t like them. It causes me to believe that we are much better off with a certain amount of openness to new things than we are with misguided certainty.

That is not at all to say, however, that we need to accept everything we try just because it’s new, or that everything is equal. There are certain things--like certain kinds of mushrooms, for instance--that we should never eat. I do not intend to push the metaphor in this direction, road this morning; it’s a fine point for another time. 

What I do want us to think about is that we all (basically) have the same set of tastebuds, but we interact with them differently. Each of have different likes and dislikes among perfectly acceptable foods. To give another example, I was once completely certain that I did not like olives. Then Lynette and I got married, and I learned she loves olives. I figured that life would be easier--or at least making homemade pizza would be easier--if I liked olives, so I tried one. I have to tell you, I think olives are about the nastiest things you can eat. But that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them!

What I want us to do this morning is think about the lessons we never learn and the opportunities we simply miss because in our attempt to make sense of a complicated world, we so narrow our focus to the things that are familiar and understandable that we view everything else with suspicion. As a seven-year-old boy, hot dogs made sense to me and crabcakes did not, and no amount of encouraging from my parents about how I was missing out on an excellent supper could compel me to try one!

Making sense of our times

We do this with our faith all the time. Faith and life are complicated; one of the ways we handle that is viewing these matters through various theological lenses. One lens through which Brethren try to make sense of our faith and our times is that of serving others. It explains why we get so excited about Church World Service clean up buckets and building beds with Sleep in Heavenly Peace and disaster response and food pantries and workcamps and Brethren Volunteer Service. Serving others is one of the primary taste buds we use to understand our faith. Is it the only taste bud we have? Of course not. Do we sometimes overuse it? Certainly. Our Brethren upbringing simply causes us to view the living of our faith in this particular way.

This is what Paul is struggling to get the churches of Galatia to understand—he wanted them to use some different taste buds in the living of their faith, and there were some among them who didn’t think they liked it. Paul had proclaimed a Gospel that gave them freedom from the ceremonial traditions of the Jewish law—all of the things that people thought not only brought salvation, but also brought a theological framework that provided boundaries around their belief and their behavior. What would happen to them if they let these things go? What would they become without all their traditions?

Paul was concerned that it might lead them to neglect one another and become focused on themselves. As he says in the first part of today’s passage:

For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for self-indulgence (Galatians 5:13a).

There was a real concern among some in that congregation that if they followed this new way that Paul was teaching—this new way of Jesus—then moral chaos would follow. It’s as if the members of the congregations were like I was as a boy in my grandmother’s kitchen, taking one look at a crabcake and saying, “Well, why would I want to try that? I know how good hotdogs are. I’ll stick with them.”

Paul knew that they might be tempted to go off the rails, so he gives them something new to taste to help them understand their faith:

But through love become slaves to one another. For the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself (Galatians 5:13b-14).

Freed from observance to the old purity laws, they were now free to express their faith in service to one another. Paul is not the only one who taught this. Later on in the New Testament, we encounter a similar thought in the book of James:

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world (James 1:27).

Have you noticed that there seems to be an abundance of people who feel it is their task to keep themselves and everybody around them “unstained by the world”? We shouldn’t reject the thought completely; it is one of those tastebuds we ought to use from time to time. But insisting that this is the only tastebud can lead us to what Paul warned about in Galatians 3:15

If, however, you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.

Somedays it feels far easier to devouring one another by so emphasizing the need to “keep oneself unstained by the world” that we don’t have enough time to spend caring for “orphans and widows in their distress.” The taste bud that this sermon in the “one another” series brings to us is the importance of serving one another as an expression of our faith.

Serving one another brings a substance to our faith because it forces us to encounter real people in the real circumstances of their lives. If we let it, serving one another helps us see people as people, not caricatures, and teaches us that maybe not everything we’re told we should be upset about is worth being upset about. When we’re committed to becoming slaves to one another—like the orphans and widows James describes—our lens will focus on a beautiful expression of faith that will be pleasing to God. 

That leads me to another story.

In another congregation I served, a long-time member’s health was beginning to decline. This member still live in her home, but just barely, as she didn’t really have family able to help her. At one point, she began having trouble with a bowel obstruction, and it was unclear where that was going to lead.

This congregation had another member who is a nurse. When the nurse learned of this situation, she visited the woman and said, “I can help you with this. I know it’s embarrassing and awkward, but I care about you and am trained to treat this. Will you let me help you?”

There’s nothing glamorous in that story, is there? But it does teach us that following Jesus offers the world a picture of beauty that can only be found with a towel or a hammer or a cleanup bucket or a bag of groceries in our hand. When we’re willing to trust God that not everything is as it seems and that some things are better than we believe, we might learn to trust some new tastebuds and be opened to a world of beauty we didn’t know existed!