#theres so many things i like and also dont like abt this BUT its just a general body/height ref sheet for the futura

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards

I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?

I. Magic Tricks

You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)

But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."

In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.

II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets

This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?

From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.

Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)

2008.

Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible

2009.

Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?

2010.

This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!

2011.

Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards

2012.

This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??

2013.

Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form

2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):

For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one

2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):

The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"

III. Why Does This Matter?

*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs

This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!

There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.

But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(

#yes its finals week and im up to my eyes in coursework but instead decided to spend like 5 hours researching and writing this post #nah bcs i actually genuinely put more work into this then I think I have all semester dsfjdskjg #that thing about him using a condom and teddy bear in a magic trick genuinely had me crying with laugher. actual tears rolling down my face #<- HOW!?!? WHAT WAS THE TRICK?? its literally inconceivable to me what he did. oh if only there were pics UGH #anyways!! this post was a lot of fun to make!! i really really love the symbolism and design of helmets so this was a rly fun project #and i also went down a lot of rabbitholes while make this and saw many very weird articles from yore #i feel like i make an equal amnt of deranged posts abt seb and nando but i dont know why nando is gifted w all my well researched projects #<- i.e. chair post. that was the same level of research as this one but at least this one i could find actual sources about.... #idk theres smth about the extremely long history of nando's history that evokes research posts like this KLAJSLSKDJ #theres just so much that i dont think I ever really see people discussing! so i must create. #haha what was that joke tag i wanted to make abt my researched posts? I think: #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion #<- one day ill go back and actually tag posts w that. bcs the amtn of research compared to my actual schoolwork is so unwell #fernando alonso #fa14 #f1 #formula 1 #catie.rambling.txt #we do a little bit of f1

[fossilizedhysterics]

guess who finished tlok tonight and immediately had this come to him in a vision!!!!

#i. really like tlok. like a lot #i understand why people dont like it #and i can accept that OBJECTIVELY its not that great #but i had a fantastic time with it #anyways yeah. gay people #tbh. would not call zhu li and varrick normal. most queer straight couple on the planet. #hes a gay man. shes a lesbian. theyre in love. do you get it. #i dont have that many thoughts abt wuko. i really really like it though. #wu is like the webkinz milk cat to me. i need to throw him against a wall really hard. #and of course. korrasami. what is there to even say there #one thing i will say is before watching it i TOTALLY thought asami was a fire bender and also evil #like i kept thinking “yep this is when she turns evil and then theres enemies to lovers” but nope #not a bender or evil and honestly im glad #she totally wouldve been justified in becoming evil though. i sure wouldve #love her.so much #korra too ofc #i have SO MANY more thoughts but im gonna run out of space #last thing i will say is i am a guy who will just always prefer media i can criticize #love atla. but theres nothing there for me to really sink my teeth into or like bitch about #i love it when media is KIND OF BAD and i can RANT ANGRILLY about it #the legend of korra #tlok #legend of korra #korrasami #wuko #zhurrick #korra #asami sato #mako tlok #prince wu

[nano30cm]

im sure they all get along swimmingly

#reprise reprise #total drama fanart #td alejandro #td heather #td owen #im going to definitely redo the older body sheets ive done because doing all of these has REALLY loosened me up #sorry to heather for not detailing her legs i am. so tired. #its fine girl we both know you have knees #tragically i am in love with heather so i spent so long staring at her face i forgot abt the rest of her #theres so many errors here to make up with the confident lines lmao #like owen should be taller but i scaled him down wrong #i had a lot of fun drawing owen hes such a big sweetie and i think hed go full mountain man #it used to be convenient bc of izzys lab being out in the sticks away form light pollution but. well. #i guess youll find out in this comic im working on #alejandro waxes his entire body unfortunately. more power to him but. #yall heather looks so good. do you see her? are you looking at her? #theres so many things i like and also dont like abt this BUT its just a general body/height ref sheet for the futura #also i am OFFICIALLY out of ideas for TD ref sheets so request mode is on #i have yet to watch RR or the reboot tho

[wormy-worm]

ok u know what maybe if the world isn't ready for sunrazer post that means that the world IS ready for Amoveous siblings post. This is Milo and Enho and theyre my DARLINGS and i love them SO MUCH. i have. SOOOOOOOO many thoughts abt them but after the previous post massacre i do not really feel like typing all of that xoxo love <3

#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL #meart #original character #robot oc #ily enho ily milo my darlings my angels my loves my funny robot guys. #ive posted abt Andromeda on here b4 if u remember her Enho is her best friend !!!!! #Enhos a battle robot who doesnt want 2 fight people.. #hes the oldest sibling and theres a lot resting on their shoulders! #shes supposed to be this big metal protector but U.U she just wants to hide in his room.. and make music for the internet.. #him and andy have this whole arc abt like. autonomy and identity and junk #being as andy is a government experiment who was raised to be a superhero who. has not yet realized that she HATES being a superhero lol #Enho inspires her! #milo um. does his own thing. he was the second amoveous bot and he is lucky to have been built without the responsibility of a battle bot #which means hes a LOT weaker. doesnt have a million weapons and lasers and such like enho does. no one expects much of him. he HATES IT!!!! #he wants to be POWERFUL! he wants to HURT PEOPLE!! he wants to be USEFUL!!! hes ANGRY ALL THE TIME #its EXSAUSTING. #yk that tinkerbell thing thats like. cuz shes so small she can only feel one emotion at once. and its so big it consumes her entirely? #hes that. he lives entirely in extremes. everything is 100% for him #he jumps to conclusions so quick and so violently.. hes incredibly impulsive and it gets him into a lot of trouble. #hes also a total NERD!!! GOOB!!! says mlady unironically. likes bad computer games. wears a stupid tie everyday. cartoonishly schemes 24/7 #enho for the record is also a pretty angry person. they just dont rlly express it. they dont express much of anything lol. #shes semiverbal on a talkative day. he can be REALLY REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THO. THAT MF CAN BE SO PETTY. GOOFY ASS #but shes TERRIFIED she'll lose control of her emotions and her body and that shell hurt someone someday. absolutely terrified. #enho is as afraid of his strength as milo is of his weakness. theyre both two ends of the same extremes in a lot of ways. #polar opposites and yet exactly the same. they resent each other a lot. they need to learn to meet each other in the middle. #anyway ''i dont feel like typing all that'' and then i ramble in the tags for ten million years lol ToT I LOVE THESE GUYS #theyre my oldest ocs in this universe and i have so many thoughts if you have any questions feel free to ask me lol

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.

Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.

Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.

#a biscuit's rambles #also i just love going out with friends til late?? #with the lockdown and shit that is such an entirely new experience and its great #also i like feeling useful i think. i like walking a friend home knowing ill definitely get home safe #idk #i also like my bike. a lot #been taking it literally every single day for years now and i have no regrets #EXCEPT FOR THOSE FUCKING PEDESTRIANS THAT HEAR MY BELL AND DO NOT FUCKING MOVE #AND THE OTHER BIKES THAT JUST DONT RING THEIR BELLS OR NOT EVEN HAVE ANY #LIKE THEN YOU GOTTA AT LEAST YELL AT PEOPLE TO MOVE OVER YOU NUMBNUT #A BIKE IS QUIET THEY DO NOT HEAR YOU THEY WILL NOT MOVE OVER MAGICALLY #AND IM STUCK BEHIND YOU #ALSO ITS JUST ASSHOLE BEHAVIOUR LIKE SOMEITMES WARNING SOMEONE SO THEY KEEP TO THE BLOODY SIDE IS GOOD!!! #and dont even get me STARTED ON SOME OF THE CARS #MUCH LESS THE STUPID ASS FUCKING INFRASTRUCTURE OF MY TOWN #ITS LIKE THEY WANT BIKES TO BE RUN OVER #fun fact i have been run over before #just fuckin collided with a car #nobody would listen to me try to pick apart the details of how it felt #which was probably my way of trying to cope with that experience lol #though nothing serious happened. bUT STILL #also oh god that one stupid fucking street with those stupid ass cars NOBODY NEEDS A CAR THERE JUST BAND HTEM ALREADY #AND THE. THE FUCKIGN ROADWORKS #I CAN NOT REACH MY SCHOOL WITHOUT ALMOST BEING EITHER HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A HUGE SHOVEL OR RUN OVER BY A TRUCK #AND IF THATS NOT THE CASE THEN THERES SO MANY FCKING PEOPLE THAT EVEN IF I YELL AT THEM LIKE MAD I CANT GET PAST WITHOUT RUNNING SOMEONE #THROUGH MYSELF #im very passionate about all things bike. but thinking abt it is a huge part of my life so im allowed to be

[dishsaop]

does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians

#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic #im just like. tired of gnawing #and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get #content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky #young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me #im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing & #digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances #m text #i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story #not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a #lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out #bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples #and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified #(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right) #and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here #(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh) #I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost. #anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein #out as lesbian #like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has #to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic) #meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just #and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so #yknow. personal viewer bias here #but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian #and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out #but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough. #im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes #I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY. #like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'

[luvring]

i totally get being annoyed/frustrated w x reader writers not adding read mores or tagging properly but hating on them Just Because they write x reader is craazyyy to me like what is inherently wrong w that. u can say u think a lot is written poorly but that has nothing to do w the basic act of writing x reader fics

#💬nia.rambles #x reader #// Rant !!!! #im doing my best to use the 'x reader' tag now / keeping off other tags etc etc but like #JUST for the Act of writing x reader . as if that is such a horrible stupid baffling thing #also. the thing abt being poorly written #like . theres a lot of writing out there that u can consider poorly written. #and in basically any other circumstance id see way more support for beginner writers / writing what makes u happy / etc #just. not here i guess. #like i GET the read mores and tagging. every time i see someone not add a read more i get annoyed #i used to use the main tags btw so My Bad srsly. i get it. its understandable #but like. mannn. u guys hold a lot of illogical levels of hatred in ur hearts i simply dont see the point of #esp if ur fine w ocs or play dating sims/done an optional romance route or have daydreamed abt a fictional chara etc #u r One Maybe Two steps away from the x reader community. at some point u have Understood/Stepped inside. some of u are LITERALLY in it #smth as simple as making hcs abt how a chara would react to smth is literally x reader behaviour like. jesus. let people be happy #also theres so many genuinely good x reader fics. like theres so many skilled creative ppl in this community #sorry if u never experienced nor will experience that. 2nd person pov can b difficult but pays off if done well imo #i dont usually take the aggression towards x reader to heart but it has definitely ruined my day before LOL

[perenlop]

*knows damn good and well itll be forever before he ever goes into animatic territory* man idk if i should use this song for this oc relationship or THIS oc relationship :(((

#.... therefore you and me for maya/pyre or valerie/marlow btw #feel like the lyrics fit maya and pyre more but i feel like the song should also go to characters who genuinely care abt each other #its just that theres so many external factors in there that fuck them up #which fits marlow and valerie more #whereas pyre... doesnt really care about maya. not really. she doesnt KNOW her. the two dont really know each other #their relationship is very surface level in reality and full of assumptions #especially on pyre's part. she just assumed so much shit abt maya based on her own biases. maya just latched on bc it was one of the best #best she had at the time... theres a reason theyre not really going out of their way to talk to each other as adults... #but also i have other marlow and valerie things in mind #but also the biggest one is stuffed with spoilers... #but also... ''An empty shampoo/ Or a full garbage bag / Which do you want?/ You want neither?'' is SO good for pyre and maya #echoed voice #oc posting

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Japanese Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel

#im so glad theres no one here to witness my reaction to seb wins because my god #i dont think words exist in the english language for the screeching noises i make HAHAHAHAHA #i just love him too much and it is a very late hour so i feel so deranged abt him and its very unwell behavior #i am kissing the tv director was for this podium directly on the mouth because SO MANY GOOD SHOTS !!!!!!!!! #my main gripe(and youll see this often in my tags) is that they never have enough direct shots and also cut away at bad moments #this podium? absolutely fucking beautiful. i want to kiss the camera operators because their focusing and tracking is a thing of beauty #hes so cute this race!!!!!! i have way too much content so shall be 3 posts methinks. hope ya dont mind!! #ive seen a clip of him and tommi chest bumping but i didnt know it was this race so when it suddenly cut to them im like OH!!!! #seb at japan gp....truly magnificent every single season(we dont talk about 2007) #i usually put 'ft. [ther drivers] but clearly both the cameramen and i only had eyes for seb hahaha #i guess this time tommi and rocky are the features!! #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1 #2009 japanese gp #2009 japanese grand prix #sv5

[this-doesnt-endd]

I dont need these things but i wanna get those like finger pulse oxygen readers and the like blood pressure wrist cuffs. I dont need them i go to dr appts all the time and ive never had issues but like all of a sudden i feel like i really need them and i need to know these stats daily

#we technically have a blood pressure cuff my mom wanted one and then we kept it around before we knew i had sezuires cause we #were worried cause id just have episodes and nearly black out so my dad had me check it a lot #but its the arm one and i dont know how to use it #also ive been like worried a lot lately abt getting seziures which idk why cause theyve been very controlled for like year n half 2yrs now #so theres no reason i should be concerned but i am and i think taking my vitals everyday would make me feel much better #cause like nevermind the fact i havent had a deep breath in like 5 years and im constantly lifting like many many pounds of stuff #all at once all day long and like getting a workout essentially my slightly elevated heart rate means im just gonna like #drop to the floor n black out or like explode or something like theres no reason i need to be taking my pulse like 10 times a day #but it makes me feel better and i will give into that #much like spraying my house with lysol constantly or having to do my door lock routine like 3 times a night it makes me feel better #and i will totally give into that #like thats relatively normal i feel like #i wore a watch for like 2 months straight cause in my mind that was the only thing preventing nuclear war and like i dont wear watches #like that but alas i had to cause im built different (incorrectly) and it was my job to prevent nuclear war #wow im so normal about everything

[piplupod]

i feel a feeling that is genuinely intolerable and go "okay what do i do with this"

therapist brain says "feel ur feelings, its unhealthy to suppress all the time." rational brain says, "hi if we sit with this emotion then we are going to either be bleeding or dead in approximately ten minutes. so whats another option." therapist brain goes "wellll i guess in that case maybe u can distract urself idk, that can be a coping strategy sometimes." rational brain glances at emotion, shakes its head and shoots back "yeahhhh no can do there bud. this one's a real whopper and distractions ain't gonna cut it this time."

both sections of the brain shrug at each other and then The Disorder brain raises its hand smugly and simpers out "hiiii remember me? yeah this is the reason i exist teehee :) give me five minutes and I'll have an amnesia wall erected and another part of the brain shoved into the forefront and then we'll be right as rain! and this emotion can go rot in the locked cabinet of horrors until another part accidentally stumbles upon it again in the future or until the lock breaks. :)"

#girl help I've just been drawing and then BOOM. unbearable feelings drowning me !!!! drownding !!! i am drowndinging !!! #i dont wanna do this anymoreeeee im so tired of this #i go ''wow this sure is intolerable! how have i ever dealt w this!'' and then the DID does its thing some more👍 #''gee that sounds so helpful!'' my body is in shambles from the overwhelming amounts of undealt with trauma :] #there are many other downsides but . i ain't getting into all that dhfjdldl #im just . grrrrr. maybe its bc i was drawing another part of the brain but c'mon 😭 i was drawing them HAPPY !! playing!! having fun!! #trying to make smth nice for us !!!! god damn this is so ridiculous #i want to go to bed fjfkdl im so tired and frustrated w everything man im trying so hard and it all seems to go towards nothing #im just not doing well idk also this counselor i have has been so flaky and its making me feel so ... eeurgghh #i understand they dont think im a suicide risk so im low on the priority list but I'd like to just... be a priority for somebody just once #boohoo poor me etc etc. other ppl need the help more than i do i know. im just. tired. #there isnt rly a lot anybody can do anyways to help i guess #still makes me insane thinking abt how the social worker had nothing for me except ''well ... u could go to the homeless shelter'' #im just... theres so many fucked up things abt that. sigh. oh well oh well oh well. #just keep making my shitty art and trudging thru the days and finding good things in a day when i can scrape em together !!!! #argh. sigh. I'll go figure out some food to eat tonight. #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #suicide mention #self harm mention

[odetolovers]

i’m losing it

#Guys. Guys. #i refuse to uhaul this relationship bc i Rly want it to work #but she is just. genuinely incredible #i am going to fall so hard my feelings for her are already so strong and so are hers :( #she’s genuinely everything i cdve ever wished for in a person & soon to be partner if all goes well and makes me feel so safe #i feel lucky as hell & every time we text or call or hang out together i feel so at peace #thank u universe bc how the hell did i stumble across this #also she went to my college so we wouldve crossed paths probably hundreds of times and never knew #now here we are nearly 5 years later and the timing of absolutely everything cd not be more perfect #it’s just wild. theres so many insane coincidences #and ill never get over her matching my energy shes just like me fr <- both mildly insane and obsessed w each other #we keep hallucinating each others perfume man 😭 im so done for #valentina talks #Sorry guys once we get over the honeymoon period ill probs talk less abt her (lying) #ive never been so sure abt anything like i am abt her and it’s so effortless and easy to be honest and we’re both whores for communication #like when i say the energy is matched it’s Matched. it feels so healing 😭 #im obsessed but i also know its early days so im not saying it’s gonna remain this good but like. i feel weirdly confident in it. idk im #trusting my gut tbh. things only fuck up when i Dont trust my gut sdgsjfhs #my lover

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals #and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away #from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird #ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas #there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil #lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit #like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside #all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶 #maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha #ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i #dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January #so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes #just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im #afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see #me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over #im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol #i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful #unrelated

[reel-fear]

one day I'll go insane and release a 234 page essay on why I love Wheatley X GLaDOS so much and its underrated and Love as a construct [link] is the best fanfiction I've ever read as long as u stop reading After chapter 26 bc imo after that it gets a bit repetitive and jumps the shark a bit and if u see the tags u might understand KJNSDFGKJNFDSD

but the very basics of it, is it's that two very bad people with a ton of truama learning to become better via each other <3. Also its weirdly disliked by a lot of portal fans for being... Abusive,,, which is hilarious considering both Wheatley and GLaDOS are canonical abusers who may regret their actions by the end sure but are still on some level very abusive people to Chell. I think that's also one of the reasons I love Gladley just bc it doesn't feel like Chell has to get into a relationship with these two people that canonically I think she's absolutely had enough of dealing with.

#ramblez #portal 2 #gladley #wheatdos #they are t4t they are both bi they both dont identify as those things bc they have no idea what they mean #they are both awful people and they love each other so much they become better #they are both the victims of their own stupid actions and truama and got countless people killed- #they both hate humans/generally do not care for them #Im just saying the fandom sleeps on it hard. #and its the like the number one portal 2 ship for me forever nothing else even compares #GLaDOS was in love with Chell and she treated her awfully time to move on bitch #Chell doesnt owe either of them a second chance shes going off to lead her own life now good for her #Wheatley is the cringe fail malewife and GLaDOS girlbosses every day #Wheatley mansplains and manipulates and GLaDOS gaslights and gatekeeps- #I literally could write an essay on that fic btw its like literally my favorite fic ever #not joking at all its one of the best pieces of fiction Ive ever read #that fic got me through so much in life #its handling of abuse both in the past and in the present oh its so good but not heavyhanded but not so subtle its unaddressed #theres so many plot points in it I just want to disect and talk abt but I dont wanna spoil it here so AAAAA idk maybe for another post- #I also wanted to rant on how Wheatley is in fact an awful and really mean person and the fandom doesnt really address that a lot #but like I've said omg this post is getting long already for another time maybe-

[arolesbianism]

Ohhhh no it just occured to me that Im probably gonna be seeing a unbearable hoard of bad aro hcs in the dst tag this month huh. Uhhhh gentle reminder that just because Wx used to be human doesn't make hcing them as aro risk free pls be careful with that. Aro ppl who hc them as aro ur fine keep up the good work 👍

#rat rambles #dst #wx-78 #like theyre arospec in my hcs so I wish I could be happy abt the idea of seeing aro wx stuff but alas I do not trust ppl with aro hcs #in casw youre curious the quick rundown of potential wx aro problems #just because they used to be human the aro robot trope could still become a problem if you chose to tie it to their empathy module #like thats quite possibly the worst thing you could do like thats fucked on so many levels #relating to that is the risk of evil aro and emotionless aro shit #this doesnt necesarily mean saying their aro because their evil directly but I dont have time to go too into detail since I need to shower #oh but one last thing mean aro is also a thing #rly the big thing is just like. think abt how you would word your reason for hcing them as aro #for example if its like yeah I think theyre too busy planning world domination to care abt romance then I am very much not a fan lol #because that kind of stuff rly ties together romantic attraction and relationships in a way I rly dont like #like idk. if theres a character that considers friendship a waste of time we wouldnt say theyre incapable of liking ppl #it just heavily simplifies the aro experience in a way that can also easily lead to other writing issues #for example the framing of aromanticism as a personal disinterest in dating gives room for a specific reason theyre not interested in it #for example. being a robot. or being evil. fun stuff like that #ok god its late I cant keep going on like this idk I might talk abt it more at another point or if I see ppl being dumb lol

[klonoadoortophantomile]

ohh i can feel a category five autism event on the horizon

#thinking. abt warrior cats a lot again <//3 #part of me wants to reread the books but i need to do actually productive things with my break shgdfgshdghsj #wc bums me out so much though cuz like theres some geneuinly fun ideas. and so many things i loved abt it btu the books are just so baddddd #/silly #anwyas i love when people like really extrapolate on the world building in their fanworks... its my favorite part of the series probably #i remember like Nothing from the later half of tallstars revenge cuz i was so like.. interested by the stuff windclan had going on #also dawn of the clans made me soooo mad becuz the clans are only 'properly' formed at the VERY end #i enjoyed all the messy world building and the process of getting to that point #but i wanted to see more earlyclan life.... #OH AND ALSO ALSO i LOVEEDDDD skyclan they were so cool to me #and the new prophecy... i literally didnt care abt all the boring traveling cuz it wa sso interesting seeing the clans like. staus quo #be just conpletelyflipped upside down and also learning abt the tribe of rushing water was so cool #(especially cuz my friend was reading thru dotc at the time so we would both talk abt it andlike fill in the gaps ..) #okay i need to stop before these tags get unfathomably long shgfdgshjka #inquisitivewaltz.txt #man i havent actually read wc in forever.. whats even going on in the current arc #is there a current arc?? i dont fucking know