#they did some illegal shit at 1 am and they probably made it a competition and they got caught

[spaceyflowers]

can u share your backstory for jay (if u want) i am very curious

omg,, you are in for a ride of me making shit up (thank u for showing interest <3!!)

i'll be brainrotting about jay and his family below!!

obligatory disclaimer even if its obvious: I Am Making Shit Up (or at least loosely basing some things on canon), you are free to look away and disagree 😭‼️

ptj wont give us anything about jay i'll do it myself.

this is almost 2k+ words help

×

okay so in my mind jay's general upbringing is the classic "rich kid gets neglected by their parent(s)" story. also yes im assuming his mom is dead because she's never brought up 💔 she died from a natural cause like illness and it's a sore spot in the family to talk about her, especially because she was the closest to jay, who is essentially the black sheep of the family

growing up, jay always had difficulty socializing and speaking as it made him anxious. plus, he was naturally an introvert unlike his older brother, kitae, and younger sister, joy. his parents grew concerned and while his mother was much more sympathetic, his dad felt it was important for jay to learn the necessary life skills of socializing properly so he signed him up for some classes that would supposedly help with that.

steve had good intentions but all it did was make jay close up even more and slightly resent his dad. so, he grew even more quiet, to the point he wouldn't talk at all, which snowballed into selective mutism. he refused to talk to anyone that wasn't his mother or sister, and even then it was rare and would only be in a quiet voice.

his mother was always kind and gentle with jay, never forcing him to talk, but always encouraging him to make friends. joy was too young to understand jay's anxieties with talking, and all her child self knew was that her brother just didn't talk and that was fine to her.

after their mother's passing, jay ended up growing more close to joy because she was really the only one he had left. the two had always got along and been together, and jay thought it was nice being an older brother. he liked joy's bubbly and friendly personality and how they were able to be playfully competitive in a friendly way. it was like their break from the real competitive business world they saw their dad involved in that they knew they would probably get into as they got older.

as for kitae... he's a few years older than the two, so there was always an age difference keeping them apart (jay and joy are like 1-2 years apart, kitae is like 5-7 years apart from them). also as the oldest (and as a guy...), kitae had the most attention on him from steve especially because if steve dies then naturally his business goes into his eldest son's hands. thankfully for him, kitae easily fit the role. because of this, he was almost always busy and going out at a young age to make business connections. he never really connected with his younger siblings and it's never bothered him because he saw they at least had each other.

joy feels very awkward about kitae because despite his laidback personality, he's very much a business man. she's her friendly self around him nonetheless. she does wish they were closer, though. as for jay, he also slightly resents his older brother for not making an effort to be there for his younger siblings and because he reminds him of their dad. but he's fine with him. mostly.

speaking of their dad, steve isn't a bad person but he is kind of a bad dad. he tried his best but unfortunately like many parents, he was very much lacking in the emotional support role. he thought providing his kids the best education, general freedom, and the freedom with a lot of money (as long as they didn't spend it on anything stupid/illegal, of course) was enough to express his love. the one who did fill the emotional support role was the mother...

once again, joy is distant from steve just like kitae, but feels slightly less awkward with him because he's more loose(?) and feels less like a business man than kitae does. jay, like i said before, resents steve for pushing him to talk more rather than hear him out and work through his anxieties with him. their relationship is very strained and only grows worse over the years. meanwhile kitae respects and likes steve.

anyways back to jay; basically his only emotional supports were his mom and sister, otherwise he was left on his own with nothing but money and you can imagine how that impacted his upbringing. when all he had was his sister left, he did his best not to burden her because he felt it would be irresponsible of him to as the older brother. and guess what this does to him? yup, he closes up even more.

the only things that brought him comfort was fashion. it always felt nice to dress up and pick clothes/accessories so that became a hobby for him. he also eventually outgrows his anxiety from basically exposure therapy because he was almost always surrounded by people and got used to socializing, but his selective mutism sticks with him.

due to this, he gave off the appearance of being a cold person despite always meaning well, and this didn't translate well with his pre-teen peers. he spent those years friendless, and began to grow numb to loneliness.

also around middle school, aka the age where people are pretty much the worst versions of themselves (usually unintentionally but you know how [pre-]teens are), jay starts to see harsh bullying in his school and stands up for the victims. he is also inspired to become a doctor because after helping patch up the victims, he discovers a passion for wanting to heal people who are hurt.

anyways because he stood up for bully victims, it results in him getting into fights and unsurprisingly, getting more disappointment from his dad.

"if you're going to beat up people, at least be able to explain why!" is what steve said for a while before he grew tired of lecturing his son. even after jay wrote that the people he's hurting are bullies, steve said, "i'm proud that you're a good person, but i still want you to stay out of trouble."

jay does not listen, and almost continues what he was doing out of spite. the fights give him learning experience, but he wants to help protect people without himself getting... well, beat up. so, he decides to ask the strongest person he knows for some martial arts training: miss sophia.

she agrees, but on the condition that his dad knows because she wouldn't feel comfortable doing something behind her boss's back. jay reluctantly agrees and so does steve when he hears the request. all he does is wave his hand and say, "yeah, yeah, he can do whatever he wants at this point. but if he kills somebody, those consequences are his alone."

so, jay gets training and becomes an expert at systema. he's able to help bully victims without himself getting hurt in the process! he also grows close to sophia, finding comfort in her quietness and amusement with her caring straightforwardness. he even begins to view her as a mother figure.

during jay's middle school to high school transition, he at some point heard his dad say something about how hair dye was "overused by kids these days" so he immediately dyed his hair blonde the next day and smiled when his dad stared. aside from that, he liked the look so he decided to keep it.

beginning his highschool years, jay starts to get more seriously involved with his dad's businesses, only because his dad offered and jay wanted a job to make his own money because he can't just borrow from his dad forever. so, he takes up working/leading positions of some businesses, particularly fashion related ones.

also during this same time, his dad gifts him with his own home as well as a butler to take care of it and to keep jay out of trouble. jay is a little relieved to have his own place. as for the butler (who shall remain unamed ig 💔), he's fine with. jay is very polite to him especially seeing that the butler is a good hearted middle aged man, and always makes sure to thank him and pay him extra for his work.

also while living with this man, jay gets to know him and they bond like family. the butler basically becomes jay's father figure <3 (courtesy of this drawing which i still think about 24/7 💖)

protective of him and viewing him as a rather timid, fragile man, jay is surprised to see the man can actually fight. he discovers this on a night they were out shopping and encountered some random hooligans. jay is ready to defend himself and his butler, but the man holds an arm out and says, "i'm the servant, please allow me to deal with this," before kicking ass in a style jay had yet to see.

jay thanks him and then asks what his martial art was. the butler says its kali arnis and jay asks to be taught that. this is where jay learns his 2nd known martial art.

okay now we're finally nearing present day LMAO jay ends up choosing to go to a high school that isn't top tier because honestly he doesnt care and also it was close to his home and allowed him to dabble in his hobby of fashion. of course, he still made sure to pick classes that would allow him to get into a medical college since his real dream was to become a doctor.

kitae teases him about it ("why would you choose a crappy school~?") and steve has slowly stopped caring about what jay chooses to do since jay's getting older and becoming his own person. joy follows after jay since she's also into fashion and doesnt care about top tier stuff like him.

at the high school, jay acts as he does in middle school, standing up for bully victims but staying friendless and alone since either people felt too nervous in his presence or they got bored.

then he meets daniel and yada yada what happens is what happens in the beginning of lookism except i say that jay is nice and open to everyone (like gifting them expensive things to show his gratitude) instead of only paying attention to daniel and everyone realizes, "oh, jay is a nice person, we just had to be patient with him"

also! the fights and trouble jay continues to get into add more to strain the already strained relationship he has with his dad. the breaking point is when his dad tells him to never call him again after jay gets into a fight due to receiving information from him about the whereabouts of people who were pretending to be his sister.

on a positive note, jay grows even closer to his butler. the butler reassures him he works for him and not steve, so he'll always take his side. jay pretty much calls him his new dad at this point.

and of course throughout all this, jay gets a crush on daniel. im also putting him in zoe's position of crushing on both little and big danny ^_^

ahem anyways [puts my lesbian zoe agenda away] thats a story for another day but yeah this is the backstory and characterization i have for jay! and the reason why i am so emotionally attached to him--because when i think of him, i think of this background and development i put into him! so there's my explanation for anyone wondering why i am so attached to a queer bait side character who isn't even relevant anymore <3

#lookism #lookism headcanons #jay hong #brainrotting #answers #jay my beloved (referring to the jay living in my brain) #i spent like 3+ hours on this???? holy shit lol

[urutaguja]

Boy what you can do is collect any butter clearly and utterly to be bothered if you're at oliver again back to drawn murphy you out of the wheat scratch you are smart and intelligent and i expect to be smart intelligentIn adult you know i'd like it you'll be one you are 1 thought using the brain cells guy gave you start it all over

Second of all i didn't ask a peanut gallery or a basket case we stayed in your own behind me background blow it blushing at blow shit third pretty commentary pulse of hotter and bless me yourMy initial original opinion stands in my initial original opinion will continue to stand now along after gone it's a receives overturns and overall yours mine is the dominant one yours is resistible one close that

Third on the list you cannot be doing that you are having to seize doing what you doing immediately no kisses if sam's butt sir accepts about it you will see is doing it when you are doing immediatelyNo are blood moposts no postmaposts no reposement hosts no being near my internet visited earnimbler and no follow me or bullshit on the contraryYour if you wanted to tea doing what you doing you gonna have to adhere self do some self terms and get issues eye of self that are of he at all times no excuses if sand's budser exceptions about itYou are all in or all out or anything black or white there is no shades great here no she weariness no being bothered if like at one moment and not being bothered if you look at influence choose a science stick with it

Last of all I have an absolute 0 tolerance policy for teenagers like you games and I mean that therefore you won't do with me you are all in or allGood, earns great, and dad, earns bad, what to go as your outcomes around what comes around goes around there far eagerly wage your plot

Bro, what is wrong with you? Are you high? Or are you trying to say something that should be viewed by someone? What is your target? What is your reasoning to even like my art and then send me this weird ass message and replies?

Listen, I am not even sure if you are also having a damn stroke, go check yourself to a doctor.

For one, I am not even a full on teen? I am literally an adult on his 20s who has Autism Spectrum Disorder, PTSD, Anxiety Stress Disorder and your message here ain't it, pal.

Go check yourself better than I can, then. Since you wanna make it a competition for better health and shit.

Did I ask for this whole ass psychology paragraph of yours? No, but I was expecting you to answer like a normal person, not a wannabe doctorate of psychology and analyzing everything that many have no will to do.

Idk what you want, idk what you look for, but here you are not getting no idiocy of a teen who wants to post p*rn illegally.

Again, go to a doctor or call 911 or whatever your country's emergemcy line is cuz, I got myself a fucking stroke reading you shit man. Fix your grammar better for another -probably wasteful, timetaking paragraph to give and no one, much less I, will fight you for whatever reason you are trying to worthlessly point out.

Leave the narcotics, the psychidelics and shit cuz you made me hate reading too.

[ram-de]

content

I'm on a local commuter train right now, one stop before the one I will stop by. I have prepared zero thing for this task. This one-month internship that I'm taking right now, I need to analyse some stuff for before later on presenting what I'm doing for the whole time I'm here.

I don't think I have the same excitement and drive I had when I started. I guess motivation does run out at some point. Truth to be told, I am still clueless about stuff. But I guess I am too embarassed to ask for more pointers because everyone else (who's also taking the internship here) is already good at their task. One bragged about joining competition and stuff. I got used to it since it's outside of work stuff, right. But although we had given similar topic for the task, he already finished it while I haven't. I know, most of it is my fault since I am too lenient on myself and I didn't put all my effort onto it. Ugh... I'm leaning into trying to make myself the victim again here, but I'm not... I took part in being the cause of my own inconvenience.

Haha... I'm so foolish. Although I did feel proud few days before when I could made a short script and simple algorithms and stuff. Haha... Whatever. It's somewhat difficult to get up and go to work today!!! But I thought, being an adult means you have to do things you don't want to, since it's a part of your responsibility. Or some sort. And that lighten some stuff, so I did.

Thinking again, I'm probably will be behind others. I thought... It's embarasssing, sure, but it is what it is. I have to put more effort. I have to actually work. It'll pass before i know it.

Other things I wanted to write is...! I draw. I mean, not like actually drawing. Like doodling. I'm not really good at it, so it's just mere pencil sketch. Surprisingly, there's like 1% chance that it turned out good! No, actually, 5% chance that it'll turn out good! I could say that because I'm kind of proud of how it turned out. I mean, sure, if you look at it closely you'll see flaws like rough lines and weird shading and stuff. BUT!!! If you look it from afar, it really looks cool!!! I drew wolves, a plant, and an octopus. It's surprising how I don't really get bored of doodling, haha... I'll try posting some pictures.

There's also other stuff like addictions (to something I'm not going to tell you!!! It's bad but it's not cigarette or drugs or anything illegal. It's just embarassing to say). I guess in journals like these I do write wanting "to be better" or some stuff, just so I can feel better even thinking about it, but I didn't actually do anything about it. See. I'm trying to make myself feel better about it, but it really is something I needed to sort out...

Goals, and ambitions, and passions and stuff. I'm not sure what's going to happen in the future. I really don't. But rather than thinking too much about how bad I'm going to fail or something like that. I... I don't know. I guess I'll just take the time to be relieved for now. Sure I'm going to lose my hair, I'm going to be awkward at social gathering, I'm going to be probably alone in class. I'm going to regret stuff, and I'm going to feel like shit. I know. It's something that's going to happen. But. Despite that, there's also other good things that happened.

Do your best, me.

#ram's letter for ram

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Lexmark's toxic printer-ink

"Every pirate wants to be an admiral." That is a truism of industrial policy: the scrappy upstarts that push the rules to achieve success then turn into law-and-order types who insist that anyone who does unto them as they did unto others is a lawless cur in need of whipping.

This is true all over, but there's an especial deliciousness to see it applied to printers and printer ink, always a trailblazer in extractive, deceptive and monopolistic practices of breathtaking, shameless sleaze.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

Pierre Beyssac, a director of Internet Europe, recounts his campaigns in the Printer Wars, which start when he ordered a non-wifi-enabled Lexmark printer but got shipped the wifi version.

https://twitter.com/pbeyssac/status/1386988213923983362

He didn't mind...except that the two models use different models of ink-cartridge, and he'd preordered €450 worth of cartridges, which were nonreturnable by the time he discovered the error.

The cartridges are identical; all that stops them from working is that they're DRM-locked, with software that refuses to run if you put it in a different model printer (this lets Lexmark charge more for an identical product if they think some customers are price-insensitive).

But there's an answer - a Chinese vendor sells a €15 conversion kit that bypasses the DRM (this is probably illegal in the EU under Article 6 of 2001's EUCD).  Beyssac was able to salvage his €450 ink investment.

But the adventure prompted him to investigate further. He discovered that Lexmark uses DRM to "regionalize" cartridges (similar to DVD regions): a cart bought in region 1 won't work in a printer bought in region 2.

Hilariously, Lexmark claims that this is because each cartridge is specially tuned for each region's "humidity." By way of rebuttal, Beyssac points out that all of Russia shares a region with all of Africa (!).

(Likewise, the Canadian Arctic shares a region with the Pacific Northwest and the Arizona desert)

Now all of this would be idiotic enough if it were any old printer monopolist, but because this is Lexmark, it is especially delicious,.

Lexmark, after all, fought one of the most important battles of the Printer Wars - and lost. Lexmark vs Static Controls was brought by Lexmark when it was a division of the early tech monopolist IBM.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/06/felony-contempt-business-model-lexmarks-anti-competitive-legacy

Lexmark sold toner cartridges filled with the cheap and abundant element carbon, and it wanted to charge vintage Champagne prices for it. To that end, Lexmark ran a 55-byte program in a "security chip" that flipped an "I am full" bit to "I am empty" when the toner ran out.

Lexmark's competitor Static Controls reverse-engineered this trivial program so you could refill a cartridge and flip it back to "I am full" so the printer would recognize it. In 2002 Lexmark sued, under Sec 1201 of the recently passed Digital Millennium Copyright Act.

DMCA 1201 made it a felony to traffick in a device that "bypassed an access control for a copyrighted work." The judge asked Lexmark which copyrighted work was in its printer cartridges (it wasn't the carbon powder!). Lexmark said it was the 55-bytle program.

The judge handed Lexmark its own ass, ruling that while software could be copyrighted, a 55-byte I-am-full/empty program didn't rise to the level of copyrightability - it wasn't even a haiku.

Lexmark lost, and today, Lexmark is...*a division of Static Controls.*

That's right, the company that's using all this bullshit DRM to prevent people from using their printers the way they want to is the company that did the exact same thing to IBM, won its court case, and then merged with the company whose racket it had destroyed.

Every pirate *seriously* wants to be an admiral.

But here's the thing. Lexmark/Static turned on the fact that 55-byte programs (all that fit affordably in a primitive 2002 chip) wasn't a copyrighted work. The cartridges Lexmark sells now have thousands of lines of code.

There's whole OSes in there. These *are* copyrightable. As is the OS in every embedded system we buy, from car engine parts to smart speakers to pacemakers. That means that companies can use DMCA 1201 to prevent rivals from unlocking lawful features in their products.

They can use it to block independent repair and independent security audits. They can make it illegal to use any product you own in ways that disadvantages their shareholders, even if that's what's good for you.

Despite the "C" in DMCA standing for "copyright," this  isn't copyright protection, it's felony contempt of business model - a legally enforceable obligation to arrange your life to benefit multinational corporations' shareholders.

And worse, this law has been spread around the world thanks to the US Trade Rep: it's in 2001's EUCD and Canada's 2012 Copyright Modernization Act. Last summer, Mexico passed an even more extreme version as part of the USMCA.

If you think this shit is odious when it's in your printer, you're going to hate it when it's in your toothbrush, wristwatch, car engine and toaster.

https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/

In 2016, EFF brought a lawsuit to overturn DMCA 1201 on behalf of Bunnie Huang and Matt Green. It has been working its way through the courts ever since.

https://www.eff.org/cases/green-v-us-department-justice

#pluralistic

[neonacity]

Chapter 4: Crescendo

Preview:

“Only the dead have seen the end of war.”

An NCT mafia AU with OT23. Summary: Working for the mafia comes with many layers. There’s excitement, violence, loss, and betrayals. Yet there’s also friendship, family, loyalty, and code. The last thing it needs? Love and all the complexities it brings.

TW: violence, death, mentions of drugs and other illegal activities. If you’re uncomfortable with any of these, feel free to skip. Author’s note: This is purely a work of fiction. In no way am I supporting all the illegal activities and behaviors that might be mentioned in the story nor am I implying that any member of NCT acts whichever way I may write them here--they’re all sweetiepies that need to be protected!

Chapter: 1/ First Stage

Chapter: 2/Overture

Chapter: 3/The Conductor

"What did Kun say?" Doyoung's eyes followed Taeyong as he strode back to the room. Fourteen heads peered at him curiously as he silently slipped his phone back into his pocket. 

"The announcement was also blasted to them. WayV are also considered as candidates."

"And…?" Yuta asked slowly, urging him to continue. 

"They said they won't participate."

A collective round of sighs echoed around the room. I slumped back on my seat in relief despite knowing this doesn't entirely solve the problem. Not even a few heartbeats after and a stillness settled over the crowd of men again, not a single soul wanting to bring up the elephant in the room. 

Finally, a boy with almond-shaped eyes spoke up from his seat by the stairs. The vulnerable look on his face made the fact that he was the one asking the question much worse. 

"And us…? Nobody is going to participate from us, right?" Jungwoo asked with a hopeful tone as his eyes scanned over the room. Nobody made a sound at first until Taeyong finally sighed and decided to speak out again. 

"I can't really speak for all of us. I understand how heavy and important the situation is. Being the Don...is a very big deal. I wouldn't take it against anyone here if someone wants to give it a try," he said as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Taeyong, you know if you do want to give it a go, 127 will back you—" 

"I'm not planning on it, Taeil-hyung," he politely, but firmly interjected before the eldest of the group could even finish. 

The current stand of the group didn't really surprise me that much. Each member of NCT are ranked as capos, the generals of a crime family—with everyone managing a small cluster of lower-tier soldiers and associates—but each sub-group has their own internal ranking as separate units. Taeyong and Kun are currently the de facto leaders of 127 and WayV, while the responsibility is shared between Jeno and Mark for Dream. 

"How about Dream?" Doyoung decided to ask the youngest of the crew. Jeno and Mark exchanged glances before the latter finally spoke up. 

"We're not planning on it either," Mark replied, speaking for his group. 

"Yeah, Chenle and Jisung can barely remember to eat three times a day, imagine them trying to be a Don," Renjun added, though his usual snark and sass was a little bit dulled this time. 

"I just don't understand what is happening," Doyoung said in frustration, crossing his arms over his chest. "So there is a need for a new head, but why make it a competition? Couldn't they just pick candidates and choose? It's not really like freedom of choice is a thing here."

"I think this is the first time that a Don blatantly waived the code, too," Johnny added as he leaned back against the stairs. "It's like they're inviting us to kill each other."

"But we won't, right? We won't do that," Jungwoo asked again, his eyes wide. Taeyong noticed the panic in his voice and he reached out to him to squeeze his shoulder. 

"Of course, Jungwoo. There won't be any problems with us."

"Well, if none of us are participating, I guess we won't have any problems. They'll have to think of other ways to choose the new Don," Haechan said from his seat by the floor. The rest murmured their relief in response.

"That doesn’t solve anything." For the first time since the meeting ended, I found my voice again. Everyone turned to look at me, probably surprised by my presence after being so quiet for so long. My throat felt dry, but I pushed myself to speak. 

"The position is open to anyone. Soldiers, associates, everyone, including the underlings you manage." Slowly, my eyes lifted to meet some of the confused faces as my words started to sink in. "Even Cypher."

The mention of the name itself made some faces in the crowd go stone cold. While NCT is considered the most influential within the family, it is not the only organized group in the brotherhood. It has always been the ruling steel hand over Seoul, but Cypher acts as their counterpart, reigning over Busan. Of course, just like any dysfunctional family, competition runs high between the two groups. Cypher, in particular, has always been after NCT out of plain, egotistic jealousy. In fact, the rivalry runs so high and tense that everyone knows the only reason the two groups haven't tried to blatantly kill each other yet was because of the code of loyalty and honor the family followed. 

And now even that is gone.

"Maybe we should talk to Jihoon…" Jaehyun suggested, though his tone clearly shows his aversion towards the idea.

"There is no way I will talk to that asshole," Taeyong interjected, his voice barely concealing venom. He turned around in frustration and ran a hand through his face. "Fuck. We have to think this over."

I silently watched everyone from my seat, my stomach tied in knots. I felt like death, especially after my eyes ran over the young faces of the kids who will surely get caught in the crossfire once shit starts to hit the fan. He did this on purpose...the Don. Like the calculating, manipulative man he is, he set-up a stage to force everyone to fall into the roles he expected them to play. He knew that a neutral invite for anyone to prove their worth wouldn't stop at just people playing nice. With the code gone, everyone is also free to get rid of potential competition. 

As if having enemies outside is not enough, he has now opened the possibility of a bloodbath inside the family itself. 

"...to prepare." My attention snapped back to Taeyong as he addressed the group. "Watch your backs especially when dealing with your soldiers and associates. I'm sure there will be more than a handful who will be after our necks."

"As for Cypher…" his eyes moved towards me and I met his gaze, already knowing what he will say next. "Can you help us track their movements? You'll be our first line of defense," he asked, almost sounding apologetic about it. I tried giving him a firm nod despite my stomach feeling hollow. This is the least I can do. 

"Of course."

He finally managed a small smile before turning towards the others again. "Good. Right now, we really can't do anything but trust each other."

--

A/N: This is super short since I’m running a bit low on creative juice lol but Chapter 5 is on the works!

Chapter 5: Canzona

#nct au #nct mafia #nct imagines #nct mafia au #nct x reader #lee taeyong #moon taeil #johnny suh #nakamoto yuta #kim doyoung #ten lee #qian kun #lucas wong #mark lee #jung jaehyun #winwin #xiaojun #hendery #liu yangyang #huang renjun #jeno lee #lee haechan #na jaemin #zhong chenle #park jisung #jung sungchan #osaki shotaro

[vintagedolan]

mixtape: b-sides (#2)

welcome to mixtape, the b-sides! these are little blurbs/bonus content related to mixtape, which you can read here. these little snippets are just for fun, and you don’t have to read them to follow the story! but, if you want to see all of them in one place, check them out here

track: I like me better by lauv

Author’s Note: some cute indy gray fluff from a random day in Jersey to offset all the sad recently haha. This probably happened around track 5/6!

“No fucking way.”

“You forget that I was a scrawny fucking kid.”

“I don’t care, there is no way you ever fit in this thing,” Indy argued, holding up a light blue wrestling singlet that looked like it was made for a 3 year old.

“It’s stretchy. Actually, that one might be Ethan’s, he was a little smaller than me anyways,” Grayson offered with a laugh.

“Uh huh. Okay. You were both tiny.” She pointed to the matching one in the storage bin with a raised eyebrow. 

“It was good to be smaller - made it harder for your opponent to get a hold of you.”

“I never understood wrestling. I mean, I get the basics. Grab and hold down until the ref says you won.”

“Grab… and hold down…” Grayson choked out the words like they hurt to say, trying his hardest not to laugh. Indy rolled her eyes.

“Shut up, I just mean that I don’t understand the strategy. Like the way you do it.”

“Takedowns. Those are called takedowns babe.”

She smacked his shoulder instead of smacking the smirk off his face.

“I played basketball, sue me.”

There was a mischief in Grayson’s eyes that had Indy bracing her feet. She knew something was going to happen, she just didn’t know what. 

Luckily, he took the nice route and grabbed her hand instead of her legs, pulling her into Lisa’s living room and quickly moving the coffee table out of the way, leaving an open rug that would have to do as their wrestling mat for the time being. They walked onto it and turned to face each other. 

Indy squared her shoulders and looked at his, which were much broader than hers. And more muscular. Just like everything else on his body. She swallowed.

“Why do you look like you’re about to pounce on me?” Grayson raised an eyebrow, laughing when Indy ignored him and put on her most serious face, raising her hands up. 

“Okay, be that way. I was gonna help you,” he said. “This is gonna be a squash.”

“Am I supposed to know what that means?”

“You’re about to find out. C’mon, show me what you got,” Grayson jeered. 

Indy took a deep breath, and then she was moving. 

It was quick. She tried to move her arms down to his legs, the only hope of getting him to the ground somehow, and she was met with a strong arm around her waist before she was squealing, her legs flying into the air. When she got oriented, she was upside down, staring out at the living room as Grayson’s laughter shook her whole form. 

“Good try baby.” His voice was as cocky as ever and she huffed, holding her shirt so it didn’t end up around her neck.

“I don’t know anything about wrestling but this is definitely illegal.” 

“You’re so green,” he mumbled just to hear her huff again at a term she didn’t know.

“Put me down.”

“Yes ma’am,” he laughed, maneuvering her slowly and keeping a hand on her waist as the blood rushed back from her head when she got back to her feet. Her competitiveness was shining through whether she wanted it to or not, and she crossed her arms over her chest. 

“I can still kick your ass in horse,” she muttered, frustrated.

“Giving up already? C’mon, that’s not my girl,” Gray teased, pulling her to him and wrapping her up, arms still crossed between them. He bit back his laughter and peppered kisses to her hair until she relaxed. He’d gotten used to this Indy - the one who got defensive when faced with something she didn’t know much about, which wasn’t often. It made him smile, knowing something that she didn’t, and he found it adorable that it embarrassed her slightly, got her frustrated enough to rest her head against his chest. 

“You had the right idea you know, going for the legs. Good strat.”

“Good strat,” Indy laughed, shaking her head against his hoodie as he rubbed her back.

“Lower your weight, get a good grip, then lift up and try to get me off my feet. Grab around my leg, and then one around my torso as best you can,” he instructed.

“Show me.”

He smiled at her and waved her forward, taking her hands in his. 

“Okay, lean forward.” She did, and he leaned down with her. He guided her hand to the back of his knee, and she nodded, knowing she was looking for the weak spot. “Now, reach up here,” he guided her other hand to his ribs - “and p-”

She yanked as hard as she could, pulling his leg with all the force she had. Using her shoulder for leverage seemed to work just enough to get him unbalanced and all 190 pounds of him went falling to the floor, his back smacking hard against the rug. 

“Oh shit!” Indy gasped, letting go of him and covering her mouth with her hands. It took a moment for her to register that he was laughing, his hand over his chest, eyes squeezed shut.

“Sorry!” She dropped down to her knees, hands fluttering over him for a moment. 

He laughed again. “Why are you sorry? That was good! Really good actually.”

“Did that not hurt you?”

“No, but you’re hurting my ego if you think I’m that weak.” 

“I hated that,” she admitted with a sigh. “Thank god you don’t actually wrestle anymore.”

He smirked again, and then he was a blur, arms wrapping around her and pulling her around until he had her pinned down without a hope of moving. She writhed under him and giggled; he just smiled.

“1….2….3,” he whispered dramatically, kissing her nose before he let her up. She used her freedom to grab his shirt and pull him back down to kiss him, humming when he dropped more of his weight down onto her. 

“This is so much better than wrestling Ethan,” he murmured into her lips, rolling slightly to the side to rest. Indy closed the space again, scurrying up so she was resting on his chest - her favorite place to be. 

“What’s a squash?”

“Um… a vegetable?” Grayson said. Indy rolled her eyes. 

“Vegetable!” Gizmo called from the kitchen, making them both jump before they laughed. 

“A squash in wrestling, babe” she mumbled, tucking her hand under his shirt and tracing the letters. “You said it earlier.”

“Oh, it’s when you absolutely demolish somebody. Like not even a chance of winning.”

“Green?”

He chuckled and lifted a hand to her back. N-E-W-B-I-E.

He paused and kissed her again, then went back to tracing. F-A-L-L.

“What’s that mean?”

“Guess,” he said.

She sat up and quirked an eyebrow. “I’ll make you start guessing medical terms.”

“It’s what you call the countdown at the end,” he gave in. “The 1-2-3, when your opponent’s shoulders are on the mat.”

They went on like that for a while, with Grayson tracing wrestling jargon on her skin and explaining it all to her. She half listened, more caught up in the excitement in his voice and the warmth of his skin against hers. They lulled down eventually, breathing together and looking around the room from the new perspective of the floor. 

“I love you,” Grayson said in a moment of silence, squeezing Indiana closer to him with the arm he had wrapped around her, kissing her forehead. 

“Love you more,” she hummed.

“Nope,” he countered, shaking his head. She knew it wasn’t worth the argument, so she let him believe it and pushed herself up off his chest. 

“Hey,” he pouted, trying to hold onto her.

“C’mon, you owe me a game of horse. Gotta school you on my turf,” she grinned, reaching a hand down to help him up. It took all her weight to counteract him enough to get to his feet, and she was glad he thought to catch her, helping her balance out when he stood. 

“School me huh? Do I get to see you in a jersey then?” 

“Not a chance,” she grinned, taking his hand and leading him outside.

#my sweet babies #mixtape #bsides #hope you liked it! just a lil simple one

[onslaughtsixdotcom]

Scaling Up Dragon Heist

Around April or May of 2019, I started to run Waterdeep: Dragon Heist, one of the official WotC 5e hardcovers. I’m still not done with it, although that is largely the fault of COVID and my own extensions to the campaign. 

I think Dragon Heist is one of the better 5e modules by WotC. I think it’s got a strong playground for the characters, and Waterdeep has 30+ years of publication history to draw on. The release of the module also heralded in a HUGE amount of third party extension content, including the famous Alexandrian Remix. I hadn’t heard of this before I started running my campaign and having ideas about how to do it, so it didn’t influence me--although I’m sure we came to a lot of similar conclusions and ideas, based on common perceptions of what the actual flaws are of the module.

Still, despite those flaws, I think they help the module rather than hinder it. It gives the DM a shitload of room to improvise and draw in the margins, rather than some other 5e adventures which feel like they can’t be fucked with in the least.

Here’s the kicker: I started my adventure at level 4. We had a pre-existing party that I had run through the classic N1: Against the Cult of the Reptile God. (Fun fact: A map that I drew is the 3rd Google Images result for that. Woah.)

The party spent a few real-world weeks traveling across about 7 days of overland travel where I ran some drop in one shots; including Mike Krahulik’s Dusk (a Twilight parody) and a really fun 2 hour diversion where the players saw an ancient blue dragon take off the roof of a church during a wedding. Then they arrived in my city: Dawnharbour.

I don’t run the Forgotten Realms. I find it not to my taste. Most of the names suck. The lore is invariably boring or weird, and not the fun kind of weird. I was going to run Dragon Heist, and I was going to put it in my own city. I gave the players some justification previously for why they would want to go there: The cleric’s sister had been kidnapped by the Cult of the Reptile God and turned into a Yuanti; a snake person. The bard had stolen a golden statue of the Reptile God and wanted to melt it down and plate his violin with it. I told the cleric that they would need a high level magic user and someone in Dawnharbour could probably help them; ditto the bard needing a highly skilled magical blacksmith. The third player didn’t really care where they went since he was on the run from his home country. So, off to Dawnharbour. They reached level 4 when they got to the city.

I won’t bore you with the rest of the details of my city or everything I changed for the campaign. Instead, I’ll talk up some hard and fast ways to make the adventure work for a higher level party. Most of them revolve around the encounters. I’m assuming the party will start around level 4 or 5.

Chapter 1

The book opens with the players in the Yawning Portal, a famous tavern with a big ass well to a megadungeon underneath. (More on this later.) They’re hanging out doing whatever when a troll and some stirges pop out of the well. The book says that the players get attacked by the stirges while the owner of the bar, a typical Forgotten Realms 15th level Fighter running a fucking bar for a living deals with the troll.

A troll is CR 5. They can handle a troll. If they can’t, you have a bigger problem.

Next up the book leads them to a Zhentarim warehouse. When they get there it’s abandoned and there are (ugh) 3 Kenku. Kenku are like tengu if they sucked. They’re bird people who can only speak in mimickry, like parrots. They can only repeat words they’ve heard before. This is stupid as fuck (especially when a player wants to be one) but more importantly, they are incredibly weak. I think the kenku are just hanging out or they got captured by the Zhentarim who left them there after they bail or something like that. Whatever.

I put the Zhentarim there instead. I put like 20 Zhentarim. I used the Spy statblock; they don’t have a lot of CR and at level 4 or 5, the players are real slice and dicey about killing them. They can basically carve through two of these dudes in a turn. It was *really* fun to just have the players mow down these mooks. They used the 2nd floor to their advantage, casting Grease on the stairs and creating a bottleneck and then picking them off with ranged attacks and spells. I think I might have given the Zhents 1hp and treated them as minions (see 4e). 

I think I had the police show up after they were all dead; someone heard the commotion and called the cops. I think I also put an NPC there; I shuffled around a bunch of the NPCs the module uses. (They got their quest to save Volo from Bigby in the Yawning Portal; instead of finding Volo here, I think they found my equivalent of Renaer Neverremember.) There was a day’s break between this and them going into the sewers in the next part.

The sewer introduces the Xanathar’s minions. I believe a Duergar is actually there and I took this as a sign--I made most of Xanathar’s mooks Duergar, and then decided--this dude is a Beholder and he has a Mindflayer for a lieutenant. The Xanathar’s forces should ALL be classic D&D dungeon monsters, like rust monsters and umber hulks and ropers. This gives you a wide variety of weird shit you can throw at your players at different CR levels, and the idea of a gangster Beholder who thinks hiring a bunch of umber hulks to go shake down a local deli is fucking hilarious. But, it doesn’t make them any less dangerous. Throw some umber hulks or something in this lair. Go nuts--the weirder, the better. Xanathar’s crew should have no qualm about hanging out with a gibbering mouther or a carrion crawler.

Chapter 2

Chapter 2 is the least developed chapter in the book. It also revolved around a bunch of Forgotten Realms faction nonsense that I wanted nothing to do with. I used this time instead to formally introduce the Xanathar, the Cassalanters and Jarlaxle. After they foiled his plans to rig a goldfish competition (think a dog show but for fish), the Xanathar became convinced the players worked for the Zhentarim and invited them to have a sit down about their intentions; if they worked for the Zhents he wanted to formally declare war. The players hated the Zhents--they killed an NPC they liked back during N1, partially to set this all up. Xanny was cool with that.

The Cassalanters were a way to introduce a new player. They call up the Blackstaff to say, hey we have a magic item, can you send a guy here to deliver it? (Magic item possession is illegal on the streets in my setting, but if someone important hires you to transport it, then you can do it. This makes being a courier a very lucrative job; lots of people are just carrying around other people’s stuff for a living.) They almost immediately knock out the new player sent to pick up the item, and replace him with their dofflegagher. The idea was that the dofflegagher player would then infiltrate the Blackstaff’s organization.

Blackstaff is no dumbass and hired a random dude off the street--my new player. Then, Blackstaff hired the rest of the party to go rescue him--mostly as a ruse to snuff out the Cassalanters and get evidence that they were shitty.

When they encountered the Cassalanters, I used a Cambion; one of their servants turned into him. This guy slowly became a recurring lieutenant; he was basically the Goldar for the Cassalanter’s Lord Zedd and Rita Repulsa. At the time, I hadn’t read any lore for Cambions; I’m not particularly concerned with monster lore the way the guys who make the game write it. I literally thumbed through my deck of monsters, saw this winged devil horn dude, and said, “Right on, he looks like he’ll work.” A Cambion is CR5, more than suitable for the encounters the party will have with him over the next few levels. The Fiendish Charm ability is fun and can really fuck with the players; I ruled, of course, that anyone under its affect would obviously be free if the Cambion was killed. Even after it was killed, he just kept on coming back, because he’s from Hell and killing him on this plane doesn’t really do anything.

As the players continue to face the Cassalanters, a go-to seems to be spined devils. This is fine but not very powerful for a level 4, 5, 6 party. Therefore I suggest supplanting it with barbed devils. They’re CR5. Adding one or two of those to an encounter with spined devils can make this a real fun encounter that isn’t too horribly overwhelming, especially if at least one of your martial characters has a magic weapon (which they fucking should; they’re level 5!)

IMO you can also introduce Jarlaxle in this chapter; a fun way is through his Zardoz Zord persona. It could simply be that Jarlaxle knows Volo (or any other NPC the players know) and wants to invite them to a free meal to get to know them. In my game, Jarlaxle operates openly as himself (I found it would just complicate things if he was someone else) and invited the players to his yacht shortly after they met the Xanathar, to formally tell them all about the Vault of Dragons, the Stone, and how everyone they have met in the city is after it.

Chapter 3

I am not the biggest fan of this part of the module. I think nimblewrights and similar creatures are really dumb and don’t fit my D&D world. A lot of the stuff in this chapter is investigation stuff, and you can play that out however you like. It doesn’t drastically need scaling up, though you may have to account for something like Zone of Truth that they might not normally have access to. It also helps if you do the opposite of the book, and make the police a bunch of shitheads who don’t care about the city--this way the players are actually motivated to help. I’ve seen a LOT of posts that open with “the fireball happened and my players shrugged and said they would let the police handle it.” Horrible! The police should either be incompetent, apathetic, or (best case) both. They don’t care who did this and if they did, they wouldn’t be able to catch them. Now it’s completely on the players.

IMO it also helps if you do the leg work to make the NPC someone they actually care about. In the book it’s an NPC they’ve never met but they have a mutual acquaintance through--it would be nice if they get invited to a dinner with this NPC or something similar prior to this. Or, change it to be any NPC they like who you don’t mind killing. Hell, they’re level 5 or 6 at this point--if they got a cleric, they can even cast Revivify and wake the dude up. They could even cast Speak With Dead and immediately find out who blew him up or what he was doing here!

Moving on, there’s the Gralland Villa. I retooled the name to actually sound like a good name; sue me. 

The book has a bunch of Zhents hanging out here. A simple way to make this dramatic and hard is to pull the trigger and make the players fight their way in. The stone is right here at the villa and they need to steal it. Sounds simple enough.

Things got complicated for my party when a recurring NPC appeared. She was an ex girlfriend of the bard in our party; they were both Tieflings. She now worked for the Zhentarim and was basically their second in command. And she was here to steal the stone, come Hell or high water. The bard, still in love with her, was perfectly content to let her steal it and even cover her getaway. The rest of the players, not so much, but when the chaos was ensuing and she was literally running past them with the stone in hand, made the decision that it was smarter to try and help her escape and then figure out how to get the stone from her later, than try and get it from her now.

This led literally directly to chapter 4.

Chapter 4

By now it’s obvious: I used all 4 bad guys.

I ran through the chapter and picked the coolest maps and best encounter ideas, including the rooftop chase, the theater, the sewer and the courthouse. I weaved them together carefully, and all the changes I had made to the groups paid off when they entered the theater, chased by barbed devils and our Cambion friend, only to have an Umber Hulk with the Xanathar’s logo painted on his face crash through the stage, flanked by two Duergar. Add in some Drow gunslingers and it was a fucking party.

(the large hexagon is where somebody cast Darkness; the big scuffed circle is a grody spot on my grid tiles. I still need new ones...)

The courthouse had a great scene where the Cassalanter dofflegagher impersonated the chief of police, interrogating the players for the code word to activate the stone (I added one; who cares?) until the real chief of police showed up! The players had to do an entire encounter with this guy while handcuffed; thank god for verbal only spells, right? 

From here the stone ended up with the players, and then it ended up with Jarlaxle who they are working for. Jarlaxle attuned to it and told them the Vault of Dragons is inside Undermountain; 3, 5 levels deep? Who knows? And it requires 3 keys: The Crown of Asmodeus, the Ring of Winter, and the Robe of the Archmagi.

I gave these 3 magic items to the Cassalanters, the Xanathar and Manshoon. This is a pretty common hack and it means the lairs in the book actually get used. I made up one of the magic items (Crown of Asmodeus) and stole another from a module I don’t intend to run as written (the Ring of Winter is, I believe, in either Tomb of Annihilation or Storm King’s Thunder). They’re fun!

So the rest of the campaign has been the players bouncing between going deep into Undermountain, the megadungeon underneath the Yawning Portal, and going to the 3 different villain factions to steal their shit. 

The villain lairs are NOT statted for level 5 players AT ALL. The players have no hope of actually killing ANY of the villains at level 5; to fight the Xanathar is a pure TPK at level 5. But at level 8, like where my players are now? One of them died and then got Revivified; the others all survived or made their saves when they were hit by death or disintegration. (In the spirit of the Xanathar, I rolled every eye beam randomly, rerolling if I had used that ray in the last round.) That’s about the best you can hope for with a Beholder IMO! 

The rest of the lairs you can mostly run as-is. Any very low CR mooks, basically anything lower than 1 or 2 CR, I would probably replace with a higher CR variant. We’ve already discussed what you can replace them with above, and if you’ve made it this far into the module, you should have a pretty good sense of what your players can handle.

#dnd #dragon heist #waterdeep dragon heist

[hissprince]

Writing Ask Games

tagged by @ink-nguyen and I immediately forgot about it

I’m doing this for Coat of Scales 

1. Describe the plot in one sentence.

Elion Veris is a prince forced into exile by his Regent, and he’s not buff enough to take it back by force, so he has to figure out how to talk his way in--and out--of every possible political nightmare scenario.

2. Pick one sight, smell, sound, feel, and taste to describe the aesthetic of your novel.

a silver crown perched on swathes of black and purple velvet

the smell of a forest during a rainstorm

a grandmother singing Slavic lullabies to her grandchild, underscored by the crackle of a fire

being wrapped in a blanket and held in the arms of someone you love

turkish coffee and warm honey-bread

3. Which 3+ songs would make up a playlist for the novel?

Run Boy Run - Woodkid

Stay Frosty, Royal Milk Tea - Fall Out Boy

Two Evils - Bastille

4. What’s the time period and location in which the novel takes place.

I never stuck an exact pin in it, but I’d estimate vaguely 1600s-1700s? I don’t know man I had to make my own calendar system. as far as location goes, the main settings are Apres, Sidra, Krey, and Fille. Apres is sort of Hellenic in feeling and aesthetic, with a heavy emphasis on sea trade and travel. Sidra is very Persian with a bit of Mughal Indian influence. Krey and Fille are inspired by Eastern Europe, especially Russia and Ukraine, although Krey has a distinctly Celtic flavor to some of its customs. 

5. Is this a standalone or a part in a series?

it’s the first in the Kingsnake Trilogy which I’m probably going to have to work on for Many Years

6. Are there any former titles you’ve considered but discarded?

Coat of Scales was actually the original title, but I briefly switched it to something else before deciding I didn’t like it as much LMAO. also, the original file name was “fantasy costco” so there’s that.

7. What’s the first line of your novel?

‘Elion Veris jolted up in bed, his book falling to the floor with a loud thump.’

8. What’s a dialogue you’re particularly proud of?

I actually like a lot of my dialogue tbh so you get Several

Chapter 2:

“Now, now, you may not be particularly handsome, but there’s no need for insult—ow!” Simon yelped as Elion struck him squarely in the forehead with an apricot.

“There are plenty more,” Elion said, tossing an apricot from one hand to the other. “Choose your next words carefully. I see one that’s definitely overripe.”

Simon pursed his lips. “I love you, Elion?”

“No,” Elion deadpanned, punctuated by the distinct sound of splattering fruit and an indignant screech. “Choose more carefully next time.”

Chapter 11

Either he was lucky, or Saturn noticed his discomfort. “You weren’t here earlier, when I came back from the barracks. Where’d you run off to?”

“Janus and Tethys wanted to talk to me.” It was only half a lie. “They told me you have quite the reputation.”

Saturn groaned. “Of course they did. Look, it was years ago. I was young and I was stupid. It was a temporary thing, I’m not—like that anymore.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“You think me a whore?” Saturn said, mocking offense. “Shame on you! I’m a reformed whore!”

“Re-whore-med, then, is it?” Elion replied. Saturn threw a piece of radish at him.

“You’re not funny,” Saturn huffed, but his tightly-pursed lips said otherwise. There was a warmth in his eyes that had been missing before. Elion was almost bold enough to call it trust.

Chapter 14: (wow a sneak peek)

"You’re not going to do it, are you?” she said in Fillesian. 

“What do you mean?”

“Kill Saturn.” Phyrra’s voice was emotionless. “You’re not going to do it.”

Elion narrowed his eyes. When he responded, it was in Apresian. “Why would you think that?”

“You’re becoming fond of him.”

“I have not.” He switched to Fillesian. “He touches me constantly. I hate it.”

“But you don’t panic when he does it.”

“You don’t know that!” Elion snapped, his voice turning into a sharp hiss. “You think I can lose control every time I’m afraid? You think I can get away with that? I’m not putting myself at risk by fighting back!”

For once,  Phyrra hesitated. She dropped her gaze to the floor, breathing out slowly as her shoulders relaxed. “Oh, Elion,” she sighed. “They’ve made you into something terrible.”

9. Which line from the novel most represents it as a whole?

“He took everything from me,” Elion spat, the words like venom on his tongue. “Everything I had, and everyone I loved. He killed my mother and Mana and left Simon to bleed out like a dog in the public square, and he looked me in the eyes and laughed.” His body trembled, but his voice was steady, and he stared Jastra down with iron in his mouth. “This was never about the kingdom.”

10. Who are your character faceclaims?

I’m going to be completely honest, the only faceclaim I could find for Elion is Keira Knightley. Saturn and Phyrra are borderline impossible to pin down so I haven’t found anyone for them yet. Janus is definitely Adonis Bosso, and Tethys is a young Riz Ahmed.

11. Sort your characters into Harry Potter houses!

Elion - Slytherin

Saturn - Gryffindor

Phyrra - Ravenclaw

Tethys - Hufflepuff

Janus - Ravenclaw

Simon - Hufflepuff

12. Which character’s name do you like the most?

Elion is a personal fave but I’m a huge fan of Saturn, Janus, and Tethys bc all the Vaerion are named after the planet Saturn’s moons. look how clever I am.

13. Describe each character’s daily outfit.

Elion - white linen shirts with intricate botanical embroidery around the neck and cuffs, a vest in either dark purple or black with silver embroidery around the collar, a jacket in colors and embroidery patterns to coordinate with the vest, and either a long black and silver coat for court functions or a black cloak. tight black riding pants and tall black boots. a goth icon.

Saturn - in the summer, usually a white chiton with red embroidery on the hem, his cloak, and sandals. the rest of the year, loose dark linen pants and a light cotton shirt in various shades of red or ivory-white, plus low leather boots. he wears his leather armor if he’s needed at the barracks. he has to be forced to wear shirts.

Phyrra - while in Apres, she wears long chitons with blue floral embroidery and a ton of bracelets. she actually goes barefoot whenever possible, but she’ll wear either sandals or embroidered slippers if she has to.

Janus and Tethys - dark linen pants and various shades of cotton shirts, with dark wool cloaks and mid-length leather boots. they share literally their entire wardrobe so I count them as one fashion entity. 

14. Do any characters have distinctive birthmarks/scars?

Elion has some scarring on his lower back, and the veins in his arms have a silver tint which I’m counting as a birthmark. Saturn has a scar across his lips that he earned in a knife fight when he was 14. 

15. Which character most fits a character trope?

Simon has a very “best friend and sidekick” sort of aura, but there’s a lot more going on with him than just that

16. Which character is the best writer? Worst?

Elion is a fantastic writer, since he realized from a young age that he’d need to be good with words to keep himself at the top of the pack, but Saturn is an incredibly close second—after all, he’s a poet. Simon is The Worst without question or competition.

17. Which character is the best liar? Worst?

Elion is definitely the best, since he’s had 19 years of practice. Saturn is the worst liar; his expression always gives him away bc he feels guilty about it.

18. Which character swears the most? Least?

I think so far Elion is actually the one who swears the most by stats, but in terms of Big Swear Energy it’s probably Janus. Jastra swears the least because she’s the Empress and she has a hell of a reputation to uphold, but I don’t think Simon has sworn at all. #letSimonsayfuck

19. Which character has the best handwriting? Worst?

Tethys has gorgeous handwriting, even if he doesn’t do a whole lot of writing most of the time. the prize for worst is tied between Janus and Phyrra; Janus bc he’s a doctor and it’s become illegible over time, and Phyrra just because she does not fucking care

20. Which character is most like you? Least like you?

I’m probably most like Elion and Phyrra tbh. Elion, because I’m very politically-minded and prefer to do things in underhanded ways, and Phyrra because I take no shit and tend to be more knife than person. I’m definitely the least like Janus because he has his shit together and I do Not.

21. Which character would you most like to be?

probably the king of Krey bc he has a castle and like 8 dogs and a really cool spouse and comparatively fewer past traumas 

I tag @poetatertot @satyr-syd and any of my other writer friends who want in on this!! if you don’t it’s cool bc this deadass took me over an hour LMAO

#tag meme #writing meme

[toomanyskeletons]

do all the oc asks ALL of them for AT LEAST two of your ocs (evil laughter)

“evil”

you act as if talking extensively about my ocs does not bring me joy (i’ll only do two probably bc i do have some asks from other people so i’ll have to do those with other ocs, and i’ll try to stick to the same two for the most part.

or three. maybe three.)

anyway let’s begin

1. if they had a tumblr, what would they post about?

Sam: hmm i think probably some blog like. Mostly trans positivity posts with scattered posts abt how much she loves her gf

Amelia: considering her popularity status she’d run some blog like. U kno the blogs tumblr celebrities run i guess? So like. Reblogging a few general funny posts and answering select asks while getting like 200 every day.

 2. what’s their favourite colour?

 Sam: she likes blue :o like. Light blues. Also she keeps her hair dyed light blue as well

Amelia: purple. Honestly idk much more i can say about this.

 3. What makes them laugh?

 Sam: shitty puns and memes, mostly. The type of person who laughs out loud when u just say ‘egg’. She’s probably still into ‘xD tacos’ random humour.

Amelia: the polar opposite of sam in this regard. Laughs at intellectual humor. Like. rich fancy people. I know it exists but i cant think of any specific examples. Politely laughs at things people say are funny but she does not find them actually funny.

 4. If they had one day left to live, how would they spend it?

 Sam: “lmao dw i’ll probably just go to hell anyway” wait no context is important. She’s like. Actually how do i make this not sound bad rip. Uh. basically she is a business partner of lucifer who is actually p chill but that’s another story

Anyway that means like. If she dies she’ll probably just come back as a ghost or a higher tier demon.

O fuk now i really wanna draw that

Amelia: panicking and trying to find a way to not die. She had things she wants to do and a public record to maintain and jeez  i just realised how much ames has changed compared the the first universe she was in. i mean YEAH completely different life experiences but rip

 5. Do they have any annoying habits?

 -this is really subjective bc of what different people consider annoying but

Sam: people say she laughs too much. That is not her annoying habit is, her annoying habit is tellling lucifer when people say that so lucifer can like. Ban them from reincarnation or put a curse on them or something like that. Also sometimes when she cant be bothered to go that extra step she might go into the past and become that person’s grandmother.

...that second one isnt really an annoying habit to most people but to the one guy who has to help keep control of time, it is a very annoying habit and what makes up like half of his job doings.

 Amelia: sometimes goes very over the top with things. One time she stole a magic book by becoming a security guard at the place where it was kept and then took the book and ran. So like, instead of doing things illegally, she did it also illegally and got a month’s pay from it as well.

I guess she’s like. Extra™

 6. What’s their favourite movie genre?

I s2fg i have mentioned this sometime in one of the long texts i have written involving these characters but i cant remember so

Sam: tbh probably more realistic/contemporary stuff, rom-coms, slice of life, coming of age etc. Like. her life is a science fiction/fantasy movie she’s a time traveler working with the dark lord lucifer ffs. Also she’d probably get annoyed on tiny details while watching historical stuff like

“That never happened”

“Sam it’s fiction, it’s a movie, how would they have known that”

“Well maybe they didn’t know it but it’s still fucking annoying”

 Amelia: probably similar to sam, her life is fuckin busy and always people and she’s famous so like. Escape from her life is to indulge in the normal things.

 Just as a side note this does take place in a modern-ish fantasy world so idk what fantasy movies would be considered there but. They exist. I’ll work this out sooner or later

 Also bonus character bc its fucking funny - Zeph: zephyr likes horror movies. She also likes to watch horror movies with her brother. Her brother does not share her same passion for horror movies. He has a certain threshold before he has to flee the room and cuddle someone. This is mostly why zeph likes horror movies. She is pretty picky with what she considers ‘good’ and spends most of her time making fun of horror movies.

And, like the rest of us, secretly freaks out when she is alone at night and hears a sound outside. But for significantly less long because she knows exactly how to make fun of it.

 7. What are their religious beliefs?

 Alright i might not (read: will not currently) answer this bc i’m still working out how to handle religion in this, bc basically there is historical evidence for how the world was created. But obviously that’s not the only component to religion?

Another point would be that actually i still havent got around to creating any religions yet.i still gotta get around to getting down a more detailed history of the world first but i am planning it

 8. What’s their current job (if they have one)?

Yes BITCH i have been WAITIGN for a question like this

 Sam: basically she made a deal with lucifer and runs many errands for them. But also they helped her a LOT when they helped her escape a shitty transphobic environment and also the two became best friends? So i mean she doesn’t get paid but that takes up a lot of her time

Also she, at one stage, becomes part of this thing called the council which i haven’t quite worked out how they work in this universe yet. Theyre a bunch of strong magic people who work in coordination with the Champion (more on this below) to put down rules about magic. Theyre a reused concept from this story i made when i was like. 10. So the idea does need some reworking.

 Amelia: amelia is the champion, which is basically the title given to the person who wins at a big magic competition. Its a p big job, lots of publicity and pr and often regretted by the people who do end up getting there

(like? This one guy? He was kinda like “oh yeah sounds fun” and then he fucking won and he was like “lmao i’ll lose next year” and then he kept the position for 7 years and after that got so fucking sick of it he faked his assassination and became a reclusive mysterious millionaire)

Anyway she enjoys it for the first while until there is a real threat of her being assassinated unlike the aforementioned dude

But she enjoys being around people to an extent, and like. She enjoys making people happy, so

 9. How do they react to confrontation?

 Sam: similar way to what i described before. Like. jsut the little things. Cursing them with the help of lucifer, becoming their grandmother, you know. The usual ways people deal with confrontation.

Amelia: curiosity, further questioning, keeping calm, kinda just. Being chill about it. She wants to make herself a better person, in general, and if someone is deliberately being a confrontational asshole she prefers to just state her point calmly.

 10. Do they have a criminal record?

 Sam: you know? Probably? She kills a bunch of assholes where it’s required, but also she legally doesn’t exist? So? Idk? She’s been arrested a few times, but considering there is no information on her existence at all-

*shrugs* idfk how the law works.

 Amelia: well, technically, no, she only did illegal things last universe and had a pretty fancy upbringing this universe, so there was no reason for her to do the illegals and also like. Public image and stuff. She worries a lot about public image.

 11. What’s their favourite plant?

 Another thing which i feel i have mentioned somewhere but idfk where

 Sam: likes hydrangeas. They’re pretty.

Amelia: can i just say. It is definitely not catnip. Actually. Maybe? Like. she had some pretty fuckin negative experiences with catnip where she destroyed reality for like a solid five seconds by accident and went to purgatory, but also she made two life friends out of it, so? Maybe catnip after all.

 12. Can they play any instruments?

 Sam: “does the kazoo count”

Amelia: nope

 But because this was boring, i’m going to do a special guest feature from her half brother ryan who is a semi-popular youtube vlogger/musician-y dude. or . whatever this world’s equivalent of youtube is. Uh. metube. Yotube. I’ll think about it.

 Ryan: he plays the guitar and sings and he’s damn fucking good at it and he knows it. Also he shares the same combination of forgetting how to outlet his anger in healthy ways + poor impulse control which means that about once every six months he has to buy a new guitar because he couldn’t get that song right and he hit the guitar against the floor.

(his dad is a writer and also an archangel,and one time he couldn’t work out how to start off a scene right so he exploded his laptop and had to use a typewriter for the four weeks while his other archangel buddy was fixing it - i’m getting off topic here)

 13. What are they proudest of?

 Sam: i guess just. Her life in general? Like. she’s survived up to this point, she’s doin shit, maybe not the shit she expected to be doing or the shit she imagined she’d be doing but she’s still doin it. Like. fuck you life. I survived. And she’s proud of that.

Amelia: that one time when she managed to keep her champion title the first time? And also when she made friends with the guy who she thought was a girl and also dead who turned out to be not a girl and alive and also was the champion for seven years rememebr that guy yeah that’s this guy. Anyway she made friends with him after settling some differences. And also when she stopped a whole organisation from murdering her yeah that was good too.

 14. What’s their biggest insecurity?

 Sam: okay this is Definitely Not Me Projecting here (hint: it’s me projecting) but she hates being seen as masculine at all and is very insecure when people refer to her or see her as masculine? Like if u call her butch She Will Cry and also why would you do that bc her and her girlfriend are femme as heck

Amelia: public image public image public image public image

Like. she doesn’t want to look bad, or like a bad public leader, but also, she just wants to do her own thing, u kno?

 15. What do they most often dream about?

Like. literally dream or daydream?

 Sam: probably. Mostly happy stuff. Plus random occasional vivid recollections of tramatic experiences.

Amelia: honestly who the fuck knows (i’d answer this properly but I am Almost Out O f Time)

 So yes almost out of time but thank you so much and doing this has inspired me to just completely rework my first book to make it more interesting

I know that sounds bad btu its not i promise i love oyu

(also there was a bunch of different formatting like italcs etc that was lost when icopied from here to docs sorry)

#my writing #my ocs #violetmanicwave

[automatismoateo]

There was an anti-lgbt march on Church St. in Toronto today and the mods on /r/toronto are actively filtering criticism of religion and shaming atheism. via /r/atheism

Submitted September 29, 2019 at 01:59AM by Kelosi (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2nvRX3s) There was an anti-lgbt march on Church St. in Toronto today and the mods on /r/toronto are actively filtering criticism of religion and shaming atheism.

https://i.imgur.com/XbciQGO.png

r/toronto is one of the most toxic subs on reddit, and its largely because the mods are corrupt and biased. This demonstrates a clear conflict of interest and is the exact wrong way for a person in a position of authority to respond to a serious concern.

There's got to be some form of recourse against this. Preferential treatment of religion in Canada is a real problem. And its a much bigger issue than most Canadians realize. This is not a secular country. We do not have separation of church and state. And our publicly funded catholic school system, which also gets to claim that 30% of that subsidy as a donation making it tax exempt, is literally separate but equal. And we were condemned but the UN multiple times in 1999, 2005 and 2006, which most Canadians just brush off without even addressing the actual arguments.

I attended a part of my high school in Montgomery, Alabama. I've seen segregation first hand, I've seen the KKK marching down the streets of Birmingham, and I was laughed at by my classmates when I mentioned we have publicly funded catholic schools. I learned a lot when I was living in Alabama and Ontario is way behind them and most Canadians don't even realize it. We have a total of 38 secular schools boards and 38 religious school boards in Ontario funded completely by tax dollars. That would be illegal in the United States.

This march was just like the march in Birmingham. And I really think more Canadians need to start speaking up about our lack of secularism, the fact that our constitution was literally conditional on catholic schools, which half of our provinces have abolished by now, and how this hidden subculture is actually at the root of countless examples of segregation in Ontario and across Canada.

Like segregation between the French and the English. There is propaganda opposing the secular movement in Quebec right now, and its made possible because despite being our closest neighboring province, Ontarians have zero knowledge of current events in French Canada. The border between Ontario and the US is more permeable than the border between Ontario and Quebec. And aboriginal segregation is a million times worse. Half of populated reserves aren't connected by roads and are struggling for basic amenities like clean drinking water. Its literally like inner China.

Canada is under a huge threat right now. As we approach our federal election, anti-lgbt and anti-abortion bigotry is on the rise in preparation for and in the hopes of electing their own alt-right prime minister, Andrew Scheer. Scheer is to religious fundies in Canada what Trump is to evangelicals in the US. They think he's their messiah, and I genuinely fear for the security and safety of minorities in Canada. More people need to be speaking up about this and how these groups and religious demographics in particular pose a direct threat to our democratic process. They're trying to recreate the catastrophe in Canada that put Trump in office in the United States. Its like Trump is an invitation to them, and probably the only thing standing in the way of an alt-right Prime Minister is the success this group has already had on putting Doug Ford into office as Premier of Ontario, which has turned into an epic disaster.

10,000 teaching positions have been cut by Ford, increasing some class sizes to 40 students per teacher. Which btw disproportionately affects public schools since catholic schools get a tax exemption. And he cut low income subsidies for post secondary school to give a tax cut to education. He essentially took money out of the hands of poor students and gave it to rich students. And despite his cuts, this is still one of the most expensive budgets Ontario has had in decades. He openly lied about the figures in the Ontario Hydro buy back and we lost over $100 million. And I'm not even going to touch his $1 billion dollar plan to end the monopoly on alcohol (which needs to be done but not like this) so that he could fulfill his election promise of $1 beers. I'm not joking!

And the legal marijuana scandal is a national embarrassment. We lost over $40 million dollars selling weed. How is that even possible? Its because those companies were reserved for conservative pals of Ford, there's practically zero competition, prices are twice as high and the quality is garbage, and the licensing program for suppliers is a complete crony scam. Illicit marijuana is actually experiencing a huge boom now that the government shut down all the "illegally" operating clinics servicing terminally ill patients. Its been scandal after scandal after scandal, and its our religious subculture that's supporting this hypocrisy.

And if Scheer gets into office it will spell disaster for all of Canada. He refuses to discuss his views on lgbt or abortion, implicating himself and indicating that he knows his views are wrong. He doesn't believe in climate change and wants to abolish the carbon tax, and his alternative is a subsidy that studies have already shown would make a negligible difference for low income earners and have the greatest impact for those earning more than $120,000/year. Like Ford he's an obvious puppet and his policies are blatant and obvious lies explicitly designed to benefit the rich.

These actions should be chargeable. He is overtly and evidently deceiving voters.

As it stands I am completely appalled that r/toronto is filtering coverage of the anti-lgbt event and silencing criticism on religion. And this kind of stuff happens every day and no one speaks up about it. Its paralyzed our democratic process and these cuts eat away at the social services Canadians value and fought for. Our social systems are a disgrace. They consistently fail to meet their intended purpose because they're skeletons of what they should be and have been picked dry by cuts and American crony wannabes. Their strategy is to make it look like these services don't work so they can cut them even more, and you hear this rhetoric in the United States too but these services are failing entirely because of attacks by conservatives. They are creating the problem that they are self reporting on. Sound familiar?

Canada is not as pious as it pretends to be. From the outside it looks like we have socialism but on the inside its a political shit-show riddled with corruption, misinformation, abuse and privilege. We need to fight for election reform and secularism, otherwise these groups are going to continue to have a disproportionate influence, all while decreeing prosecution. Case and point. Literally no one is excluding them yet they claim "diversity includes bible believing Christians." In response to gay marriage?! We do ourselves a disservice by giving this misinformation equal footing. Especially considering these groups have traditionally opposed every equal rights movement we've ever had.

Religion is not race, gender or orientation. Religion is a belief and beliefs can be wrong. Especially when they're used to target race, gender and orientation. And we do condemn certain beliefs, like Nazis and the KKK. You can't compromise with a belief that actively seeks to undermine you and make up its own facts as it goes. And that includes religion. People read those signs and actually believe that religion is being persecuted in Canada, when no other business or group gets a subsidy AND a tax exemption. How can you trust voters to make informed decisions when we allow misinformation to stand side by side with reason based on evidence? That's why democracy is failing in Canada, and why so many of our services are littered with corruption and exist solely to save face.

The more I learn about my country the more I realize that it does not value evidence, merit or integrity. It is a meticulously tiered system of in-groups that consistently sweeps every problem we have under the rug only for it to rear it head again in another decade or two. Just research the history of religion in Canada. From the controversy in 1907 when catholic school teachers were held to a different standard of education, to the push towards secularism in the 60s. Most Canadians don't know these things. And most people outside of Canada have no idea about the aboriginal residential school system that removed 30% of aboriginal children from their homes and resulted in the deaths of between 3,200 to 6,000 children. We still don't even know due to incomplete record keeping. Or about the Japanese internment during WWII where Japanese Canadians were rounded up and put into internment camps. Most of which did not have their belongings, property or businesses returned to them. I recently met a Japanese Canadian man in a men's trauma support group who still feels defined by this event. These are not one-time events. This is a pattern of behavior that spans our entire history as a nation and we need to make our government and our peers much more accountable than this.

#reddit

[stellarsquad]

ur turn to answer all of them, lets hear it

thanks michelle ur the binch best

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?

depends on the circumstance, but I’d say yes.

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?

nope

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

shapeshifting, or the power to refill things bc lets be honest that one (1) post was actually quite logical

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

mmmmmm, maybe. maybe not 7 - 9 yrs but maybe sometime

5. Tell us some funny drunk story.

i don’t drink, so none on that front. 

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?

didn’t love her romantically, feelings didn’t go both ways. we’re g now though.

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? 

hmmmmm, probably drowning. 

8. What are your current goals?

ace my exams.

9. Do you like someone?

fuck yeah i do!!! 

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?

not sure, actually. generally if someone disappoints me they make up for it pretty quick. 

11. Do you like your body?

it does its job (mostly)

12. Can you keep a diet?

is that a joke??

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

let people live

14. Do you work?

yeah, i tutor beginner trumpet students.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?

sushi, probably

16. Would you get a tattoo?

maybe, but probably not. not rlly my style. 

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?

my FRIENDS I LOVE MY FRIENDS

18. Can you drive?

i can,,, but am i a good driver?? up for debate.

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?

not sure

20. What was the last thing you cried for?

i’m playin the lead in a short film about a woman who’s husband dies in a crash and we filmed a scene at a graveyard for that this week, so i cried there about my ‘husband’ dying.

21. Do you keep a journal?

not anymore.

22. Is life fun?

honestly it’s looking up. so i’ll say yes.

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?

i don’t,,, even know what this question is asking??? yes?? no?? maybe?? 

24. What’s your dream car?

mini cooper, teal. or red.

25. Are grades in school important?

mmmhmmm don’t fuck around in school kids.

26. Describe your crush.

literal angel honestly, the sweetest boy i’ve ever met. 

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?

fuckin baby driver!!! that was good shit!!!

28. What was your last lie?

“dont pull that shit again i stg i will rearrange ur spinal structure until u resemble a goldfish”. it’s a lie i don’t even know how to do that.

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? 

um,,, idk most of my lies are pretty stupid one likes that ^^^ and i don’t lie a lot nowadays anyway. i try to avoid it where i can.

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

this is kind of a double standard thing for me, like,, i don’t mind if other ppl cry in front of me and i certainly won’t shame anyone for crying in public / in front of other but i’m always embarrased crying in front of other people. sooooo, idk. 

31. Something you did and you are proud of?

topping 3 of my classes atm, i think. 

32. What’s your favourite cocktail?

once again, not a drinker.

33. Something you are good at?

i’m okay at singing, i think.

34. Do you like small kids?

mmmm, depends on how small. 

35. How are you feeling right now?

exhausted but i always am sooooo,

36. What would you name your daughter/son?

lmao me?? having kids?? is that a joke??

37. What do you need to be happy?

music, my best Friends and/or my boyfriend. preferably all of em.

38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

mmm, not really?? myself mostly for not doing my work. 

39. What was the last gift you received?

um, idk. probably smnthn for my birthday?? that was at the beginning of the yr i don’t remember. 

40. What was the last gift you gave?

i gave a sloth enamel pin to one of my friends this thursday just gone.

41. What was the last concert you went to?

twenty one pilots!!

42. Favourite place to shop at?

h&m, or jay jays.

43. Who inspires you?

sebastian stan

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?

are there gonna be more of these drinking questions??

45. How old were you when you first got high?

i don’t even drink bruh,,,

46. How old were you when you first had sex?

umm, well i’m ace so,,, no.

47. When was your first kiss?

recently, actually. it was good but the second one was so. much. better.

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year?

stay in a relationship with my boyfriend, and beyond the end of this year, too.

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?

[pulls up 178 slide pptx] where the fuck do i start

50. Post a selfie.

how’s this: https://stellarsquad.tumblr.com/post/159788715857/flora-200417-artist-and-photographer

51. Who are you most comfortable around?

my two Best Friends ever nd my boyfriend.

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.

fuckin hell, spiders man.

53. What kind of books do you read?

fantasy and adventure

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self?

trust your damn instincts. don’t be blind.

55. What is your favourite flower?

orchids!! or roses. hmmm

56. Any bad habits you have?

i scratch nd pick at my face a lot

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?

i don’t,,,, know? i don’t rlly know if i have a type, but lookin back at the people i’ve loved, good sense of humour and good jawline. i guess.

58. What was the last thing you cried for?

fuckin,, cried in A Dogs Purpose in the cinemas i’m weak.

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?

if u fuckin come at me with chicken liver,,, i will fight

60. Are you in love?

yeah, yeah i think so.

61. Something you find romantic?

i fuckin love,, holdin hands. like thats dumb but i love it.

62. How long was your longest relationship? 

abt 3 mnthn. 2 ½ i think. 

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

girls are catty sometimes, and some girls think they’re the Queens of Everything regardless of where they are / who they’re with like,, sit down please you don’t have any power here at all.

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? 

misogyny is one thing but that’s grouping all guys together a bit generally so based on one of my guy friends, who is pretty much the only guy i have any contact w besides my bf: if i get any more texts from u tryna argue abt religion when you’re high i’ll delete ur number and change your netflix password.

65. What are you saving money for?

a camera

66. How would you describe your bad side?

a ghost but i think she’s dead. 

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?

i try to be but,,,, hmm. 

68. What are you living for?

idk my friends i think.

69.Have you ever done anything illegal?

probably!!

70. Do you like your body?

haven’t i already answered this??

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

i try to avoid it but when i’m sometimes when i’m roasting all hell breaks loose.

72. Ever sent nudes?

no.

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?

no and who the fuck would honestly.

74. Favourite candy?

mmmmm, milk bottles.

75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

not rlly sorry. my own?? my sideblogs?? idek. 

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

NIVA!!!

77. Favourite TV series?

The Checkout. yeah i’m a nerd!! come at me!!

78.Are you religious? Does God exist?

yeah, i’m Christian but im probably not a very good example of one. and God’s out there alright. He exists. 

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?

honestly,, Emma by Jane Austen can die

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

props 2 anyone who can do it u are dedicated.

81. How long have you been on Tumblr?

since like,, 2014 i think??

82.Do you like Chineese food?

yeah boyyy

83. McDonalds or Subway?

maccaaas

84. Vodka or whiskey?

-  _-

85. Alcohol or drugs?

-     __-

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country?

heck yeah

87. Meaning behind your blog name?

space gang

88. What are you scared of?

being forgotten

89. Last time you were insulted?

My Best Friend (if she even is that,, MICHELLE) called me a preschooler yesterday nd she can choke

90. Most traumatic experience ?

nov2015 to like,, jan2017

91. Perfect date idea?

stargazing and makin out tbh.

92. Favourite app on your phone?

spotify!

93. What colour are the walls in your room?

purple nd white

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

not rlly anymore?? probably still dan and phil.

95. Share your favourite quote.

“And just remember, bad times, are just times that are bad.” its from fuckin,,, animal crossing i love it so much it’s so dumb.

96. What is the meaning of life?

live for others, and others will live for you. its,,,, cyclical.

97. Do you like horror movies?

no no no nooooo

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

yeah, i went to state level in a public speaking competition and she cried bc she was proud.

99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way?

i’m lucky to have an actual angel as a bf, my guy

100. Can you keep a secret?

yeah. i’m good at those.

and thats all of them!! sorry this is so long guys

#askgame #asked and answered

[rae-ism]

Set yourself free

I hardly post anymore - i thinks its been a year, i lost quite a number of followers. but to those of you who are still with me, thank you for still leaving me there on your follow list. I must say, many things happened in this time and I had hit my rock bottom a number of months back. its going to be a long post, but to anyone who chances upon this, or genuinely cares about my life, i just hope you read through.

I have always been an uptight person - i care too much about what others think, i want to go to the best school, do the best things, i am a perfectionist, i want everything to be perfect. the perfect weight, skin, grades, room, boyfriend, instagram account - the perfect life. i always thought to myself i need to earn more, do more. my mind wasn’t peaceful and there isn’t a moment in my life i could be happy with myself because i wanted more all the time.

but in recent times, i got fired from my job for refusing to do something illegal - with no savings in my bank from settling my dad’s debts, and spent the remainder of whatever compensation they gave me on again helping my dad and shopping for myself because i felt like i deserve it and that i’d find another job soon enough.

its true, i found a job soon enough - high paying (more than i ever earned or thought i would at my age for a job that isn’t of high risk). but i’d never think it got me into the worst mental state i had ever been in a job. i mean, i’ve been through lots, but this was the worst i ever felt because of a job. dragging myself, crying everyday, praying to fall sick so i dont have to show up. i was very much a victim of my own choices.

So to all of you out there, suffering today, and wanting to get your shit together, and need some advice, i hope this post of my lessons learnt can do something for you:

1. STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT

given that i hate my new job so much - you’d think i regret standing up for myself and what i believe is right which got me fired - but no, i am proud of myself for it. the people around me were proud of me for doing what i did. and yes, good things come after that - like i said i got a compensation, and i found a job soon after, one that at least valued my integrity and won’t force me into illegal shit. good things come your way, when you constantly make the decisions you know to be rightful even if its hard.

2. SAY NO TO WHAT DOESN’T SERVE YOU

i think people say this all the time, but what i mean is, say no to whatever you think won’t benefit you, or especially, that would harm you. SAYING YES WILL ALWAYS BACKFIRE IN SUCH CASES - trust me. i was offered 2 other jobs before my current one and i knew they weren’t what i wanted - 1 wouldn’t work out so i said no, and i said yes to the other just because. turned out it put me in a tight spot after i got my current job - and of course caused me much more mental turmoil than i hoped, and almost cost me a friendship.

When i got this job and it caused me so much mental turmoil, i was so afraid to leave - because of 2 things - money, and judgment. so look at point 4 about money, and remember, saying no to what doesn’t serve you can also mean blocking out what doesn’t do good for you. if you know doing something is best for you, whatever that is - quitting a job, taking a break from school, cutting off your used to be best friend, do it and don’t fear what others think. they will say something whatever you do anyway. its their mind, life, and mouth. but just live yours.

3. LIVE AT YOUR OWN PACE

think about it this way - chasing after success, money, fame, friends or relationships - what do they do for you? i’m not saying be passive about your dreams and goals, but don’t let them be the only thing that gets in your head. don’t allow the lack of these things to ruin the good things you have. having all this won’t make you a better person, won’t serve the world, won’t necessarily make you happier. because it is what lies within. breathe now, and then hear this: when you come to terms that life is NOT a competition, and that if you say ‘so what?’ to the people who try to compare you - you will feel much better about yourself, and in a better state to work through the problems that come, because you won’t be too distracted thinking about what others have that you don’t.

4. LOOK WITHIN YOURSELF

what is it that really matters to you? standing up for not doing the illegal thing made me realise i stood for something. i had values and i had lines that i didn’t previously define. so i made it a point to define them - what are your limits? what will push you to quit a job? what will make you end a relationship that isn’t working? what will make you say “enough is enough”? know these things about yourself and you will feel much more free, because its your black and white, and you will always know when someone crossed the line.

5. LIVE ON LESS THAN YOU MAKE

you may think that the one uber ride you’re about to take, or that sandwich you’re about to eat at that artisanal cafe won’t cost you much, or break your bank. but trust me, its the small, accumulated expenses that slip through which really breaks your budget. i had zero savings when i got fired from that job, not just because of my dad’s debts, but also because i let myself get away with one too many rides/sandwiches or some small thing i thought wouldn’t matter. take a look at your expenses now - and think, where can i eat that can get me cheaper food? what can i do so that i spend less on an outing this weekend?

6. TAKE A MOMENT TO BE GRATEFUL

i know its freaking hard to be when you feel like all odds are against you. you forgot your document at home, or the deadline is up. your spilt coffee on your table, and stubbed your toe in the door. and then your boss added some work to your load, and your colleague gave you the cold shoulder. your family is breaking apart or maybe much worse. i won’t undermine your feelings - but i just wanna say look within you and be grateful for yourself. your own strength, your surviving this without jumping off a cliff, or running onto the road to get hit by a car. be grateful that you a person strong enough to survive this bad day. and remember that someone else is always watching you - your kid, your best friend, your little sibling, me - there is always someone who will admire your strength and be grateful you exist - so be grateful for yourself.

I know you’ll probably read another article like this somewhere - but this is really personal to me, it helped me gain back my mindfulness. it took me a long time to understand this. for those who wanna know, i’m still in the job i hate because i am practicing point 4 for long enough while i stay here so that i can save up a sum of money, and point 1 and 6. I spoke up for myself and told them i couldn’t take the workload and thankfully am offloading some things now, and point 6 - remaining grateful. there is alot to complain about, i still complain, but in my mind i remind myself to be thankful for what i did for myself, i am thankful for being given the chance to offload the work, i am thankful for the people who try to make things better, thankful for this space to share my thoughts. it keeps me wired and going. 

i hope everyone has a blessed day - and that someway, somehow, you feel inspired a little more now to grow in a happier direction

#personal #motivation #freeyourself #mindful #livelife #growhappy