#thinking about when i told her i might have ocd and she said i didnt

[caffeinatedopossum]

Events of last night:

Me: *crying*

My girlfriend: what's wrong?? :(

Me: *struggling to form words* intrusive thoughts are bad... I don't want to talk about them because then I'm scared that they're true and you might think I'm awful

My girlfriend: ah I actually get that. I have those a lot. It doesn't mean anything though, intrusive thoughts are just like dreams. Like the things you do in them aren't really things you want to do, it's just stuff your brain comes up with.

#we then very heavily related over having the same intrusive thoughts and now I'm suspicious #thinking about when i told her i might have ocd and she said i didnt #and starting to feel like thats because... what if we both have ocd #it seems like she was basing her entire knowledge of conditions on people shes known with those conditions. which makes sense #but the person/ people with ocd had severe cleaning compulsions and the like #where as me and her obsess much more over morality #like its very clear we think about it so much. and idk what to do with that information #we both feel like the intrusive thoughts and obsessive ruminating are the only things that keep is from being bad people #or that prevent us from being bad people i guess. idk why that wording is just slightly more accurate #like people who dont think about these things (apparently all 'normal' people since this could be *an actual disorder*) #they're not constantly analyzing. trying to be aware. asking themselves questions about their true nature. judging those answers #theyre not really doing that with other people either. of course i could be wrong since im very clearly not a normal person. #but this is what i mean! im speculating about other people and acknowledging the ways i could be wrong and just trying to figure it all out #but it seems like no one does that and it doesnt *make them* bad people. it just doesn't prevent them from that happening either #like theyre just as likely to hurt people as the 'bad' person thats thinking the same way they are #and i cant ever be comfortable with me living that reality even when *this reality* is a waking nightmare #sure im tearing my skin off (good ole skin picking disorder) when im thinking about these things. sure im crying. sure i can't sleep. #sure it makes me feel like im constantly a horrible person and need to attone for everything ive done and havent done #sure. but then i turn around and say its helping me. because why else would my brain torture me? isnt it always about protecting me? #i don't know. all i know is who i dont want to be and what i dont want. so that exactly what my brain convinces me is real #i guess what it kinda comes to do is #would you rather live a reality where everything around you is superficial. your thoughts behaviors and thoughts. your reactions #all of them are things youre never aware of. you could be hurting people or you could be helping themm #you could even be hurting yourself. but you would never know. its a comfortable reality that youre never really aware of #OR would you rather live a reality aware of all those things. seeking answers and sometimes finding them. #trying your hardest to help others and better yourself and fix the broken things in this world #your reality is one where you recognize every threat that no one else does and it kills you inside because they wont always listen #theyre comfortable and you're stuck in a reality where you try and try and try but even when you succeed #your brain forms its own reality. a metaphorical jail. where you never get to experience the reality you fought so hard for #instead you exist in this sort of purgatory where you live out your own worst fears and the worst ways you could have failed

[blacktinnedpeaches]

therapy was better this week - she didn’t try to do any more little games w/ me (thank god) and at the end actually i did say “i told ana and ben about the dice game, and they didnt like what i did at all” and she started laughing and i was like “it was bc i knew what you were doing” and she was like “i know, of course you knew, but it’s moments like that that make this job worth doing” which was quite nice

she also said she thinks i have a sharp + “cutting” sense of humour (lmfao) that i’ve kept under wraps for the best behaviour first few weeks of therapy but that she thinks it’s beginning to come out and she said she welcomes any form of cuttingness or stroppiness or irritation that comes out which i kinda liked hearing too but i dont think im gonna just become deeply unpleasant in our sessions loooool

she also asked why i consistently downplay anything i do and told me that every single task ive done ive immediately explained to her why it doesn’t really “count”. she told me that if i was this way inclined, it might help to make some kind of adult star chart so i can visually see my wins instead of just immediately forgetting about them + moving onto the next thing. she was approving of short-term rewards as well altho she pointed out that ideally when this becomes second nature i will become bankrupt if i buy myself a treat every time i eat a leaf or whatever lol

she also told me that it’s been over ten years of this (longer for just sort of General Madness) and that downplaying that kind of disruption to my life by pretending it’s not a big deal is just stupid, and that i’ve done things in the past month or so that i haven’t done in years, and i cant have it both ways: i cant say that the OCD is an insurmountable obstacle that means i will never eat normally, and then in the same breath say that my completed tasks are unimportant meaningless

which is true lol

she thinks there’s still some kind of missing piece somewhere hidden in my leaps of logic, and the fact that i dont even believe in what im doing anymore, and she’s curious what that piece is - i agree w/ her but i have no idea what it is

[dermatillo-bitch]

Hey I'm about to go on the hugest rant in the world about why it's important to spread awareness for BFRBs so bear with me.

Today I was in a group chat of mine, and somebody else mentioned their dermatillomania. I got real excited to discuss it, as I never actually encounter other people who own up to having a BFRB.

We had a full out discussion in the chat. It was long, and we mentioned a lot of our struggles. After we had said a lot, about three other people said they had experienced similar struggles before and didnt know it had a name.

I wasnt shocked by this. BFRBs are usually very forgettable and not many psychiatrists or therapists know they exist, so it's pretty hard to get a diagnosis. Many people who have severe BFRBs have to bring the disorder's name to their psychiatrist's attention to even get them to acknowledge it. This makes it entirely more difficult to inform people that they arent crazy.

I went on to explain that Derma and Trich arent the only BFRBs. I mentioned that there are many others, including ones where you might bite your lip until its calloused, and one where you can pick your nose until it bleeds.

Somebody then asked me if the one where you pick you nose was real, saying they thought they were just gross. I immediately told them about Rhinotillexomania and they were relieved to hear they werent alone.

(They also remarked about how long the name was, but most of them have Latin roots and are very long.)

I find the fact that people dont know about these behaviors slightly infuriating. For such a long time, I thought I was alone. I thought I was creating a struggle for myself that everyone else around me was able to repress. I thought I was weak, not being able to stop myself. All of these thoughts are so unbelievably false. If you think this about yourself in any capacity, know that you are so totally wrong. You're not alone. Other people have the same struggles and obstacles as you.

I see a lot about Trich on these "Most Uncommon Human Disorders" videos, saying that it's super rare, and that like, 1 in 3 million people have it. This statistic is so off it's not even funny. Now correct me if I'm wrong, I often am, but as far as I am aware, about 1 in 30 people have a BFRB. That's so many people, so many people who might not be aware that what they're going through has a name.

I mentioned my derma once at a family gathering (dont worry it was before rona) and my aunt approached me after. She asked me really quietly, as if she were ashamed to even bring it up, if I had mentioned skin picking had a name. Dermatillomania is relatively common on her side of my family. Lots of them had it. I told her of course it does, and if she didnt remember it to text me. She sounded so uncertain, and it made me so upset, so sad, that she went more than half her life not knowing that she wasnt alone. Not knowing that she had a legitimate issue that was a struggle for her, and that it was valid.

Another thing is that people who arent informed on the topic of BFRBs think, is that it is a form of self harm. Infact, the person I was originally talking with on the group chat mentioned they had heard before that they were self harming by picking. It is not the same. They are entirely different things, but both are entirely valid struggles. I should explain the difference.

BFRBs fall on the OCD spectrum. They are behaviors that are obsessive and compulsive. They are not the same as a full Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, as those are different struggles and comparing them would not work well. Many BFRBs include subconscious behaviors that one might not even realize they are performing. My don't want to hurt themselves at all. Self harm, on the other hand, is not something I am qualified to talk about, but it is intentionally done to oneself with the intention of harm.

In conclusion, this was a mess of a rant and is super disorganized.

Jk. But seriously.

People need to know about these things. They're really common and it sucks when you're confused by your own behaviors.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#bfrb awareness #bfrb #dermatillomania #excoriation disorder #trichotillomania #skin picking disorder #skin picking #rhinotillexomania #body focused repetitive behaviors

[goddess-ofthe-underworld]

I am numb.

I have had the same therapist for around 9 years, she has always been wonderful.

Today, she made me have a mental breakdown. She made me feel horrible. She got upset with me.

All because I've been talking about how I feel I am somewhere on the autism spectrum. She said because I understand emotions I'm not autistic. Because I use facial expressions I'm not autistic. Because I use fancy words I'm not autistic.

At first after hearing that when I came back from getting tested for it I felt sad and upset. I took her word for a while, but felt like something wasnt right.

I continued to do research and joined two groups on facebook and the amount of women that go undiagnosed amazed me. The amount of women who have talked about this I have done since I was a child, feelings they have had, and they have the diagnosis. It made me question my therapist. I found tests reccomend by those with the diagnosis to do and if scoring as autistic to bring it to a doctor. I have taken so many test and all come back as ranking highly likely to have autism.

The person who I tested with lied in her type up of how I acted and things I said and I am still angry about that.

So I decided today to tell my therapist I want a second opinion. I found an office near me that specializes in women with autism and I want to be tested again. What professional lies in their report? That bugs me most. I was never married before my current husband like she said. I never claimed to have OCD like she said I am diagnosed with. And in the three hours I was there with her for maybe a total of 5 minutes I made eye contact because she would clear her throat and squint at me so i felt like i had to.

Her report made it seem like you have to be dumb and a shell of person to be autistic and that's just not true. I know its not.

I have put on an act for my whole life hiding so much to appear normal to avoid being made fun of like I did as a child.

And today my therapist got angry at me for wanting to get one more test done with a specialist. She told me the people I talked to that said I needed another opinion were 'cringey' and made her cringe because they aren't professionals like she is. Then went off about how ethically she cant even watch TV and diagnosis someone unless they are her patient. Like ok? All I know is these people have the diagnosis. They are telling me things they do and experience are the same as what I talked about in these groups and that they think I need to get another opinion. That's all. She didnt even let me read the questions from the tests I took and why I answered the way I answered. She just got angry. I shut down and burst into tears. I felt embarrassed and now hurt.

She has never been anything but what most would say is a cheery demeanor so to see this side hurt. She didn't bother to listen to me, she didnt bother to try and see why I felt so strongly about this. She has it made up that if you can use fancy words and explain feelings you are not autistic. Yet right before therapy today people in my group again, who have the diagnosis, where talking about this!

When I finally could talk through the sobs I told her I didnt feel like she was listening or understanding and I wanted to hang up (virtual appointment) and she looked at me wide eyed and said you mean hang up and I said yes this isn't helping. So she said ok and told me to write down my feelings for next time and she went to say something else and I hung up on her.

I feel like how I have felt in past breakups. I feel how I have felt when I lost friends. I feel how I feel when I think my husband is mad at me.

My whole life I have been obsessed with books and reading that was my escape. I have been bullied to the point of wanting to end my life I needed an out so it was books. I hate feeling dumb so I look up words all the time and love to use them. Of course I am going to know fancy words. Any reader would.

I feel so pissed and hurt.

I had to call her office and I canceled all my future appointments with her at the advice of others in my group and my father, and the receptionist told me she might call to hear it from me and I broke down and thank Gods this woman was kind.

I asked if I had to talk to her and she quickly said 'oh honey no! Breathe it's ok! I will put that in here so no one hounds you it's ok! Dont worry, breathe we dont want you anxious!'

I can't get over the fact that when I told her the only people that have seen the true me are my dad and my husband and that I've always been masked around her for the most part she just repeated herself. She didnt hear me at all.

I spent t so many years becoming a master at hiding things that I may have hid them too well.

I am lost. I am

Going to get a second opinion by someone who specializes in females with autism and if I show all of my information and all of the reasons why i think I so and they say no then fine. I'm not, but then I want explanations on a lot. There are so many things I do and feel that are not normal, they dont relate to my depression and I want to know what it is so I can feel less out of place and strange.

I'm not here to collect diagnoses like a pokemon. I just want someone who will listen and hear me out, and be honest in their report of me.

#possibly autistic #mental health #mental illness #therapy #counselling #please help #rant #autistic spectrum

[ohmyprodigalson]

How about a fic where Malcolm finds out that reader is in an abusive relationship because she brings her arms up and starts crying or something when Gil shouts at her? Thanks love!

I normally try to tie up my endings into a nice little bow because that's who I am, and I like closure. But the deeper I got into this one, the more I felt it was ok to leave it open-ended. I didn't want to force an ending that wasn't practical in the real world. I don't want to give any spoilers, but I'm basically saying that I wanted to show that some problems can't be fixed in one sitting. I hope you still like it though!

Trigger Warning: Mentions of verbal domestic abuse in an incredibly vague way.

---------------------------------------------------

Gil was pacing back and forth behind his desk. (Y/N) was standing in front of it, waiting for Gil to speak. She wanted to cross her arms because she didn't think she should be in trouble, but she didn't because she knew it would only make things worse. Finally, he spoke.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" If looks could kill, (Y/N) would be dead. Gil's glare was strong and severe. (Y/N) needed to do damage control, and fast.

"I'm sorry, I just thought that-"

"You thought what, (Y/N)? That telling his wife he was dead would be fine?" Gil paused and stopped pacing, placing his left hand on his hip and lifting his right hand in the air, motioning with each word he spoke. "We do not lie to victim's families - ever." He placed emphasis on his last word.

(Y/N) looked at the ground for a minute and spoke low. "I hoped that if she thought he was dead, she might let her hand slip. She could have been responsible for the attacks, and I thought it would be easier to find out if I told a little lie."

Gil picked up a folder on his desk and slammed it down as he yelled, "That wasn't your decision to make!"

In that moment (Y/N) heard her boyfriend's voice, screaming at her. It consumed her, and reverberated in her mind. She was lost in the sound and didn't notice her reaction. She whipped her head away from Gil, lifting her left arm to shield herself from an imaginary attack. (Y/N) cowered slightly and stayed in that position after her initial flinch. Gil's expression became quizzical as her actions baffled him.

Malcolm had been talking with Dani near her desk, out in the open in front of the wall of offices. They had been talking about the OCD tendencies of the suspect that led them to her, when he happened to look over in to Gil's office. His attention was drawn by the sound of Gil's voice breaking through the glass as he yelled, and he saw (Y/N) flinch and cower. Malcolm was suddenly drawn to her, and Dani's voice became distant in his mind. (Y/N) wasn't simply overreacting to Gil's anger, she was having an automatic response; one that was learned.

"I... I'm sorry, I have to go..." Malcolm left Dani behind mid-sentence as he walked towards Gil's office. He opened the door to find (Y/N) still cowering behind her left arm, and Gil deeply confused. Malcolm slowly reached out to (Y/N) and spoke in a calm voice. "(Y/N)... Hey, let's have a seat." She opened her eyes. She didnt realize they had been clenched shut. She saw Malcolm in front of her, eyes gentle, motioning to the chairs in front of Gil's desk. (Y/N) was brought back to the present, her boyfriend nowhere to be seen. She gave a small nod and sat in one of the chairs.

Malcolm took a deep breath. As he lowered his arms, he asked Gil, "Can we have a moment, please?"

Gil looked back and forth between the two of them, still confused about what he just witnessed. But the look in Malcolm's eyes told him this was something he should let go. "Ok," he said with a little exasperation in his voice as he left his office and shut the door behind him.

Malcolm turned his attention back to (Y/N). She was shaking ever so slightly and she didn't quite know what had happened. He began to profile her, trying to figure her out as much as possible before asking some difficult questions. Her reaction to Gil's yelling was one of someone that has been or is going through abuse. Malcolm had seen her interact with her parents before, when they surprised her at the precinct by picking her up for a birthday dinner. Their interactions were loving, not those of abusive parents.

So that left two options. She either had an abusive partner before and this was PTSD, or she is in an abusive relationship now. Malcolm couldn't see any bruises on her, so he concluded that her abuse was in the past. He started to cautiously question her as he sat down in the chair beside her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He tried to look her in the eye, but she was staring ahead.

(Y/N) turned her head to meet his gaze. "What do you mean?"

"Your reaction just now. Has someone ever... hurt you before?"

It was (Y/N)'s turn to be confused. She knitted her brows together as they arched upward. "What do you mean? Like, has someone ever hit me?"

Malcolm shifted his eyes to the side and then brought them forward to face her again as he nodded his head, nonverbally indicating that was essentially what he was asking. She was taken aback. Why would he ever think that?

"No, of course not. I carry a gun for a living, Malcolm. I would never let anyone touch me like that, ever."

This made Malcolm reconsider what he had seen. (Y/N) had flinched from yelling, so maybe the abuse wasn't physical; maybe it was verbal. If this was the case, it would be harder to get her to talk about it. Getting to the root of her earlier reaction would take more finesse.

"You have a boyfriend, right?" Malcolm thought he would start with some easier questions.

"Yes... What does this have to do with anything?"

"Just bear with me for a moment." Malcolm held his hand out, motioning for her to wait for the punch line. "How does he make you feel?"

"I don't know, and I don't see how this is even relevant."

Malcolm gave her a small smile as his eyes drifted down towards the floor. This was going to be harder than he had hoped. He continued to speak as his eyes found their way back up towards hers. "Does he make you feel safe and happy?" He paused and his voice grew quiet. "Or does he scare you? Do you have to watch what you say around him?"

She closed her eyes, opening them as she answered. "He can get... angry. But that's normal, and I just get on his nerves a lot."

Now they were getting somewhere. He kept his voice low and quiet. "And what does he do when he gets angry at you?"

"He yells, like anyone would." (Y/N) had no idea where Malcolm was going with this, but she played along.

"Does he talk down to you when he yells? Does he call you names?" Malcolm was closing in. He knew it now; she was being verbally abused by her boyfriend. Trying to get her to see that would be a problem. Most people that suffered from verbal abuse had difficulty seeing that their significant other's words are abusive. This would be particularly difficult for a strong, confident woman like (Y/N).

"I mean, yeah, but I usually deserve it."(Y/N) said this matter-of-factly and didn't see the problem with that statement.

"How so?" Malcolm was hoping to reason with her. Maybe if he pushed her to see the abuse logically, she would have her light bulb moment.

"Well, like last night, I accidentally walked in between him and the TV during his show." She still had no idea where Malcolm was taking this train of thought.

"And what did he say? What did he do?"

"He started yelling and got really loud. He told me that I was less important than his show, and I should never try to block his view again. He called me stupid... I understand though, what I did was wrong."

Malcolm paused for a moment while (Y/N) waited for his response. "Because he treats you like this all the time, does it make you scared to say or do anything around him?"

She gave a small snort and looked at Malcolm like he was crazy. "I'm not scared of him."

"It's just..." Malcolm decided to go ahead and blurt it out because he felt this was going nowhere. "Your response to Gil earlier is one of someone that is being abused." He paused and looked her in the eye to read her reaction.

"What? No! I-"

"You were scared of his sudden yelling, and you just said your boyfriend yells at you and calls you names all the time."

"I am not being abused." She pointed a finger at him and he could see that he was starting to make her angry. "I am a detective with a gun. If someone was going to hurt me, they wouldn't succeed, to put it lightly."

Malcolm looked away for a moment before continuing. "Abuse comes in many forms. It doesn't always have to be physical." He looked into her eyes again. "You are being verbally abused by your boyfriend, and you need help. I can help you, if you let me."

(Y/N) rose from her chair suddenly and forcefully. " I am NOT being abused, and I don't need you getting involved in my business. You can go profile someone else."

She left Gil's office and slammed the door behind her. Malcolm looked down at his hands as he frowned. This did not end well, and he doubted she would seek help. She couldn't see that the damage from her relationship had already been done.

#prodigal son #malcolm bright #prodigal son imagine #fanfic #imagine #prodigal son fanfic

[shattered-catalyst]

So this  isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.

Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again

The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.

This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this  because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.

This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it. 

My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.

They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.

Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.

The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.

She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.

She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.

This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.

My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.

When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)

So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.

Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.

Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.

I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.

Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.

I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.

Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.

but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it. 

It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.

Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.

So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.

So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period.  It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.

I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.

I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?

WELL APPARENTLY NOT

Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.

Thats all it said “dont have hope”

Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.

I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.

I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.

I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.

 I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.

I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.

I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients.  During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.

He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.  

I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.

SUICIDE TW OVER

I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.

She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*.  She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything. 

Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.

I let her know I could tell she was angry,  and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.

Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life. 

I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.

Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.

Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning. 

 I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.

Since this happened I:

I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.

My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.

Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.

I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.

I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.

It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.

I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.

I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.

I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.

I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.

I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.

I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.

 I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.

I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.

Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.

 Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.

If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are. 

This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.

‘Citrus’

#suicide tw #gaslighting tw #emotional abuse tw

[bigbangcowgirl73]

fuck the brain

so for this update, we are going to break it up. make it a little easier...well somewhat..so are going to break over so ill play the OCD card and have sub-categories (:

With that said let’s get started <3

  1. Health-- so I think as I have discussed at the beginning of this blog I explained that I have epilepsy and I hate admitting that. I am embarrassed beyond words with it. I use to be a social butterfly, and now the idea of going out to the world and being apart of other things is a little nerve-racking to me. Before July in 2019, we thought that I wasn't going to have any more seizures that it was all fixed and I was “cured” for a better lack of words, I haven't had a seizure for almost 3 years so life was looking good. Now with that said before we all get excited and we try to figure all are asking questions, my neurologist, dr. g requested an EEG in the beginning of the year because I came I told them that I have not been taking my medicine for about 6 months and have been doing just fine. the reason being for this is because I was just simply at first was forgetting then I got didn't have a certain amount so I got behind and then it just turned into me not taking them. Well, when we had the EEG I still had the abnormal brainwaves (a quick explanation on EEG’s..pretty much a helmet of little wires they hook to your head and it tells you what kind of brain waves you have). Not my best day. So I had a seizure back in July I assumed because I was depressed from what learned in April I was taking care of my body, I was sleeping well, not doing the best with my body. Then I had one about 2 weeks ago, after that, I have been anxiety attacks whenever I please, my depression is flying off the walls. So now my neurologist has decided that I need to have a service dog for these reasons. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a couple of years back, but it was never this bad as it is now. so now me having to even think about having a service is kind of hard, because I’ve always been embarrassed with the idea of just almost anyone knowing about it. like if I didn't have to tell a friend about it then I won't. there's been soo many timeeeesss that I thought i have told a friend and then something will happen that it would come up and they wouldn't know a thing about it. 

  -Love: alrighty so this subtext will be fun. so y’all remember daffy? well, we’re pretty much still in that sloth relationship that I was explaining. and since we still can't think of a better word we’re going to stick with that until I say otherwise alright? good glad we agreed. so when I had my last seizure I was with him and about as close as I could get with a person while having a seizure. he was laying on top of me when it happened. yeahhhh good moment for the sloth and lady sloth right? well, I could remember after it was waking up hurling on his favorite sweater that I was wearing at the time barely getting to the sink and hurling all over that than falling on the floor and wanting to die. then I remember barely opening my eyes, daffy was standing over me he cleaned up my throw up, this is going to be so cheesy but I thought he has to be prince charming he's going to clean up this shit off of me. then he took off the throw up sweater off of me put on a different shirt and carried me to his room. next thing I know i wake up and I don't really remember the rest. I remember bits and pieces but that's about it. I just remember thinking that he may not be perfect and he might have a shitty past, him and I are overly different, but he just might the prince charming I was looking for. bad boy in skinny jeans with a sailor's mouth and can be an asshole sometimes but makes me smile no matter what and makes me feel safe and all these other things that do not fall into this subtext. 

-Friendship-- when my friend cotton found out that I had a seizure he didn't really do a whole bunch of what I friend is supposed to do I believe, I mean when my friends have found out in the past they freak out are wanting to know if I'm okay did I die asking weird questions. but cotton he just didnt. and it really pissed me off! and he’s supposed to be my best friend, but he hasn't been one lately. I'm not liking it. 

-School-- the school hasn't gotten scary now. my teachers are really supportive but I feel so far behind and I cant remember. and this is the shit part. my neurologist thinks the reason why I'm having such a hard time remembering is that I have PTSD so he is wanting me to go to PSYCHIATRIST..arent those for people who are really fucked up in the head or something? I would see why but I'm not excited about it. maybe I can talk may out of it. I've gone to a therapist before and it did me no good. if anything it did me worse. but now I'm so scared to anything with school because what if I fail what if something goes wrong and it stresses me out so much that I have a seizure or have such a bad anxiety attack that I have a seizure. 

2. Friendship/Love- so I was going to split up these two categories but since they collide each other by a lot it would get way too confusing so this seemed easier at the end of the day. 

  So as you could guess this will have to do with cotton and daffy. pretty fun combination. especially since they both don't like each other. which is super fun. so with that said, cotton since the beginning has talked bad about daffy. and I would just ignore it usually, especially since he would just be talking about his past mainly and I really wouldn't care because when daffy would say anything about he would calmly say its in the past in the past for a reason. he's done that he’s not proud of, was he the best person back then probably not, would probably want to be around him..probably not, but then again knowing bigbangcowgirl lets just 2-3 years ago she would probably still go for it. but daffy just never talked about cotton even though he didn't like him, he knew that he was my best friend he wouldn't. cotton would, I ignored for the most part. there was something I would question, but then daffy would bring down somewhere along the yellow brick road and i would be just fine once again. with my past of shit guys. daffy has been so straight forward and not hidden anything from it so relaxing and he’s been so trustworthy! Cotton has been such a bad friend and it just took me yesterday to put two and two together after daffy was pointing out something towards me and then yesterday I just don't trust him anymore. I'm really pissed. I know my mom and cotton talk and i told her last night when I got done coaching to not talk to him anymore for awhile. I don't want you to talk to him. I don't trust him right now. he's my friend, but I don't like how he’s been treating me and seems to be manipulating you and putting up this front to you and dad. 

-Family- those last two sentences kind of collided with this sub-category but that’s fine. so me and daffy decided that we wouldn’t meet my parents for a while cause that would just make it official and legit serious, like would be switching from sloth to penguins. if y’all don't know what that means, I can’t help you. go to google. which was fine by me. I'm a daddy’s girl some even telling my dad about nick was already a little scary. I didn't want my dad to meet another guy I've been seeing for a while until I knew it was going to be serious and would last, so he would stop meeting these pos kind of guys. Well with daffy, they’re outstandingly opposite. like its crazy different. it's kind of funny though. but what gives me the slightest bit of hope is that daffy makes me happy, he takes care of me, he wants me to be happy, for an example, he could’ve cared less if my parents didn’t like him, but since he knows that a big thing to him, it bothers him and he wants to fix it. my father thinks that he doesn’t make me happy just because the only time I have been on the phone with daffy these past couple of days when I was the house we were bickering about stuff. so yeah, if that's your first opinion I could see why, but what he doesn't know is that I've been on the phone with him multiple times, been texting him multiple times, been smiling because of him multiple times, but because I didn't want my dad to know that he existed because of our sloth-like relationship I just said it was cotton cause my dad knows that he’s in n. carolina and there's no way in hell I will be leaving texas just for some boy. 

  now then, I don't really think my dad will ever like any boy I am with. just for the fact of him thinking no man is good enough for my little girl fact. which is fine I understand that. no biggie. I agree. I'm adorable. but if he has respect for daffy, understands that daffy cares about me respect me, doesn't hurt me emotionally/physically like any other guy has in the past, and makes me happy. then I know that’s all that matters to him. 

  and another perk is that my mom loves him. she is a little concerned cause she knows that he is a bad boy and has a bad past, but she knows that she he has done what he needs to do make him improve and make him a better man. also now that I have pointed all that cotton has lied about and pulled off his mask that he’s been wearing. daffy doesn’t look bad anymore. now I say that because cotton has been trying to make daffy look bad by comparing those two together. which is one of the major things that I noticed yesterday. one of the biggest things that pissed me off the most.

sloth relationship, or penguin relationship. nobody is going to make my man look bad or talk shit about him especially if I know you and I know what you’re saying and your’ purpose behind it. not okay. 

[skz-thunderous-stays]

Okay so I wrote this last night and was encouraged by the lovely @roger-drummerboy-taylor to post it so here it is! My first proper piece of writing in three years. A Meet the Robinsons ficlet with my OC Bella Framagucci. Enjoy! Xx

Bella sighed as she slammed the door to her bedroom closed, leaning against it as she closed her eyes. All she wanted to do was to spend some time with her family and her dad but she couldn't beceue she was scared of leaving her room and it was all because of her fear of contamination OCD. It hadn't been that bad up until now but now it made her scared to go outside and it made her scared to spend time with her family just incase she ran into her Uncle Cornelius. She loved Uncle Cornelius with all her heart but her OCD made it hard. She was terrified if anything that could harm her such ad chemicals and well with Uncle Cornelius being a scientist and spending a lot of time in his lab, well it sent her fear into overdrive. She would only leave her room and socialise when her uncle was on business trips but now with him being back for a while, she knew she wouldnt be leaving her room for a while and while it wasn't ideal, she could live with it. She had an en suite bathroom (like most of the bedrooms in the house) and she had plenty of things to keep her occupied and she was sure she would be able to get Carl to being her meals up for her.

Bella flicked the lock on her door before she made her way to her bed, grabbing her phone off the bedside table before she flipped down on her bed, unlocking it and immediatley a message popped up from her cousin..well one of her many. The Robinsons were a large family.

[From: Laszlo. {Hey, what's up? Uncle C gets back and you immediately lock yourself in your room until he leaves}]

Bella sighed as she tried to think of a response. She couldn't leave him on read or she would have him at her door before she could even blink.

[From: Bella. {I'm fine, Laz. It's just a bit hard to explain it when I'm trying to find a way to explain it to my dad before I tell anyone else in the family. Once I've told dad then I'll tell everyone else. I promise. I'm fine though x Just let uncle Cornelius know that I love him and it's nothing person x }]

Bella sighed as she put her phone down beside her. She thought it was stupid that Bella Framagucci was scared of chemicals when her Uncle was a well known scientist. It never bothered her when she was little but it had started whe she got into secondary school and gradually got worse from there. Whenever she had science class as soon as she got home she threw her clothes in the trash and had showers that could take up to an hour. It was the only way her mind could calm down but at least she didnt have to worry about science class for 3 months since she was summer break and then she only had two years left when she could finish high school at 18. She just had to survive 2 more years and she was hoping she would be able to drop science when she went back.

"You know you cant hide this forever right?" Carl spoke as he walked into Bella's room with her evening meal.

"Yes. Thank you Carl. I know that. Everyone keeps reminding me about that" Kim groaned as Carl put her meal and her dessert down on her table before he walked over and placed a cold metallic hand on her shoulder which caused the 16 year old girl to look up.

"Everyone is just worried. You lock yourself up for days and then act like nothing is wrong and you wont tell your dad what's wrong and he's extremely worried.." Carl trailed off and Bella nodded. Gaston Framagucci, Bella's dad, was one of the nicest people alive (he entire family were nice), he never lost his temper, was eccentric just like everyone in their family was, competitive bit extremely loving and caring and would do anything to protect those he loved a d he was slightly protective of Bella ever since her mum died when Bella was only 4 years old and as she grew she resembled her dad is some many ways with the same black hair with the family cow lick, brown eyes and slightly pointed nose with her mom's dimples.

"I know Carl..I'm just trying to figure out a way to tell everyone" That was true but she was also putting it off. She knew her family would be understanding, except maybe Aunt Petunia but she was always cranky and temperamental and Bella had grown used to it. She knew her family would make changes to make sure she wasnt triggered but she didn't want to bother them with that.

"Whatever you say, whatever it is, you know they are going to support you"

"I know Carl and thanks for that little talk and for bringing my food up"

"Well I couldn't have you starving now could I?" Carl laughed as he made his way to the door while Bella laughed.

"Wow Carl, you're so kind" Bella chuckled as she waved goodbye to Carl, then she was once again alone in her room. As Bella walked over to her desk , it hit her how badly she missed sitting at the large table, large enough to sit 13, with her family members while hearing Frankie the frog singing and even form her room, she could hear the mumbled conversation from the dining room.

She missed it so much but she just couldn't risk it. She wouldnt even be able to leave the room if she wanted her, her fear just didnt make it possible. She sat down as her desk, eating her dinner alone as she played music to drown out the conversation from downstairs.

"Any word from her?" Franny asked as Carl walked back into the dining room and all eyes turned to look at the robot who just shook his head in response. Gaston's usual goofy smile instantly fell and Franny noticed her brothers expression and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"She'll tell us when she's ready Gaston..its just important that we don't push her" Franny spoke softly in attempts to calm her brother. She hated seeing him in distress. She had only seen him like this once before and that was after his wife died and it crushed her back then.

"Maybe you should go to her and talk to her after dinner?" Billie suggested and Gaston looked up to look at Billie.

"I know Franny said wait but darling, it tears us apart to see you this worried and upset." Lucille spoke up with the motherly smile on her face and Gaston was so thankful for his mother in law at that moment.

"You really think I should?" Gaston asked and a chorus of agreements welcomed him.

"If we wait for her to tell us then she might never tell us" Corenlius sent a quick smile to his brother in law and he was more than happy to see Gastin return the smile. It was strange to see Gaston without a smile, even when he was injured from his stunts, he was always smiling.

Gasto jogged up the stairs to his daughters room, taking them two at a time. He wouldn't force her to tell him anything but he just wanted to let her know that she could tell him anything and he wouldn't be mad but as a Dad he just hoped that it wasn't anything to serious. As a parent, you just wanted to keep children safe and he couldn't keep his wife safe..he had to protect Bella.

Gaston walked up to his daughters door and knocked on the door, hearing the music playing in her room. He heard movement from behind the door, footsteps getting closer to the door. Relief flowing through him when Bella opened the doors even though it was just a crack.

"Dad?" Bella asked softly as she opened the door all the way.

"Hey sweetie, can we talk?" Gaston asked and he didn't miss the way Bella seemed to tense up but she nodded none the less, moving aside so Gaston could walk in. Gaston walked into his daughters room, looking around at how she redecorated it. Light red walls, her double bed pushed up against the wall with black bedding and black pillows, just like her dads outfit, her bookcase overflowing with books, notebooks stacked up on her writing desk, her clothes hung neatly on the clothes racks she had insisted on, pictures of her family in little and large frames all around her room. The photo of the family on Christmas morning from last year in the large frame on her writing desk, positioned so she would be looking at it when she woke up and he smiled as his eyes focused on it. Bella laughing as she was pulled into a hug by Laszlo and Tallulah, Wilbur sat in front of her as Bella pulled him into a hug with the family laughing and smiling but Gaston couldn't miss the two small photo frames on her bedside table. One of them held the picture from the day she wa born, Gaston and his wife, looking st a sleeping Bella who lay in her mom's arms and the other one was from Bella's third birthday with her mom kissing her right cheek while Gaston kissed her left cheek as Bella was clapping over the cake in front of her. Gaston smiled softly at that picture, feeling tears build up in his eyes.

"Dad..you okay?" Bella asked softly, bringing her dad out of his thoughts as he nodded.

"I'm fine, my little cannonball" Gaston smiled as he sat down on her bed and Bella grinned as she sat down next to him, loving his nickname for her. Dad always did love canonballs.

"So what's up?" Bella asked softly.

"Sweetie, I'm not going to push you to say anything and I am going to support you no matter what..I just want to know what's going on in that little head of yours that makes you hide from us"

Bella tried to keep it in but she couldn't as she burst into tears, the stress, the fear and the isolation finally getting to her. She explained it all to her dad as he held her close, wrapped tightly in his arms as she poured her heart out to him. Gaston knew the family were down the hall, listening to every word but he could only focus on his daughter.

"Bella, why didnt you say anything? You know we would of done anything to help you.." Gaston whispered to his daughter as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "We love you.."

"I didn't want to bother anyone.." Bella spoke, tears still rolling down her face.

"You could never bother us" Came a voice from the doorway and Bella and Gaston looked over to see Uncle Art (Gaston and Franny's brother) stood in the doorway with the rest of the family, including Cornelius who looked freshly showered and dressed in something that wasnt his work clothes (so Bella would feel comfortable around him).

"We love you" Uncle Fritz spoke up with a smile, Petunia on his hand as always.

"And we would do anything to make you feel comfortable" Grandpa Bud joined in as Grandma Lucille nodded.

"And we'll get through this together" Laszlo smiled at his cousin, an arm slightly around his sister's shoulders as he wasnt hovering for once. Tallulah nodded at what her brother said.

"You aren't alone" She added.

"You got us" Wilbur grinned at his cousin.

Bella got up and walked over to her family who had now migrated into her room. She stood in front of Cornelius and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you.." She spoke, her voice muffled by his sweater, her shoulders shaking as she cried happy tears. Cornelius hugged her tightly, kissing her forehead.

"Anything for you Bella" He whispered into her as he pair fell to their knees, hugging and within a minute, the hug turned into the Robinson family hug.

With this family, Bella knew she would be alright. She was a Robinson and a Robinson just kept moving forward. As she looked at her family, she let herself smile as she closed her eyes, relaxing into the hug. She would be okay.

#meet the robinsons #wilbur robinson #franny robinson #Corenlius Robinson #Laszlo Robinson #Tallulah Robinson #Uncle Fritz #Grandpa Bud #Grandma Lucille #gaston framagucci #art framagucci #Meet the Robinsons (2007) #mun

[letsimportanttreecollection-blog]

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so how do i go about appealing the decision they suggested putting together some info proving i couldnt buy the same car for the money they have offered. any help would be much appreciated im just not sure how to start. also if anyone has been through this. did you find it helped or not? many thanks

Car loans and insurance?

Okay, I recently took out a loan for a car, and I got liability only on the car. The bank just contacted me saying they need proof of insurance. When I take it in, and they realize that it is liability insurance only, what will they do? Because, I heard you need premium insurance when you buy a car with a loan. So am I gonna have to go premium or what will happen? I have a 1990 Nisasn 240sx. My bank is Great Plains Federal Credit Union. My insurance is American Family Insurance.""

Health Insurance?

I AM TRYING TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT INSURANCE FOR ME, AND DECIDED TO GO THROUGH BLUE SHIELD OF CALIFORNIA-WWW.MYLIFEPATHWAY.C... HOW DO I KNOW IT IS NOT A SCAM. CAN I CONTACT BLUESHIELD DIRECTLY AND ASK THEM ABOUT THIS INDEPENDENT MEMBER (WWW.MYLIFEPATHWAY.COM)OF THE BLUE SHIELD?""

""I have no insurance and I need help on OCD I'm in Phoenix, AZ please help.?""

I have no insurance and I need help on OCD I'm in Phoenix, AZ please help.?""

""Is it cheaper to be put on your parents car insurance, or get your own?""

I'm 16 and I need car insurance, would it be cheaper to be put on my parents, or get my own entirely?""

Can someone provide best independent health insurance i can buy thats affordable?

I have been chewing tabaco for about 8 years i am 26 years old my teeth havent rotted out yet, but i have a very tiny bump on my tonsils (which i think its just irritated) However to ...show more""

What is a good insurance I could get for my mom? She's bipolar and schizophrenic.

Medicines are at ridiculous prices for mental illness... we're paying over 1,500 a month in medications. Is there anything that could help? Aside from medical(might get denied). We live in california.""

""In California, does my employer have to give health insurance if i am full time?""

In California, does my employer have to give health insurance if i am full time?""

Wat is the cheapest car insurance for driver with driving ban ? ?

Wat is the cheapest car insurance for driver with driving ban ? ?

How much would insurance on a 1990 dodge neon ?

I think it might be my first car , && I have to pay for insurance .""

What is a car that will have low(er) insurance rates for a new 16 yr old driver??

So i just turned 16 and i didnt get my license yet but i am soon and my parents insurance agent said different cars have higher or lower prices on insurance, he said maybe a mid-size sedan or a small suv or minivan. but... i dont know. Anyone with experience with this cause i'm in need of a car!!""

Accident and no car insurance?

I live in Hawaii and i got in to a one car accident with my two kids. my daughter was flown off to another island with Air Ambulance and was in ICU at Queens Hospital for a two days. Were are all alive and well but im stuck with a 70,000 medical bill. My truck that was in the accident had no car insurance because i just brought it and my children and i are on MedQuest(medical through the state) Please help me on how to get my bill payed for. thank you""

How much does car insurance cost for a male mid 20s in Boston?

Ill be moving there in a few weeks and need to get insured. I was wondering how much I can expect to pay every year to be insured fairly well. Thanks

How much is car insurance?

i'm 18 n i want 2 get a car very soon. i'm paying for my own insurance so i want 2 get an idea of an estimated price. if i get a care made between 1999 n 2005. so if any1 has an idea can u please help me out

Banner Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38913

Banner Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38913

I have an old pickup truck but can't find a price to get an insurance quote.?

I'm working on a 1972 International model 1100 Eight pickup truck and can't seem to find a price for it in todays market. I've looked on every automotive web-site I can think of, but they have every make except International. I'm trying to get an insurance quote over the internet and I really need this. I paid $400 for the truck itself and about the same for new parts. The guy who owned this truck before me said it was originally a one ton pickup, but the bed was switched out with a three ton. I know I have to add the price of the new parts, but all I want is an approximate base price. I'll take any advice, web-site, or anything else relevant to my needs.""

How much do you pay for babysitting insurance?

So i'm doing a social studies project & it asks for liability. im doing babysitting service. help?

Life insurance in depth?

how do insurance company's find out you have multiple life insurance policies if you say you don't have any

How can I get an Auto Insurance adjuster to address my claim ? He is completely unresponsive.?

I drove out a brand new car from the dealership and stopped at a signal light. I was rear ended hard by a coupe driven by teenagers. His car was towed and impounded. Now I called the other driver's insurance company after receiving the police report and was told that a claim has already been filed and an adjuster's name and number given. I have been ever since calling the adjuster and leaving voice-mails. Its about 3 days and I have left more than 8 voice mail but he does not call me back. Its getting frustrating and am unsure if thats their strategy ? How long should I continue this ? and How can I get him to attend and address my claim ? and what else are my options ? Should I go to small claims court ? Advice is much appreciated.

How much would it cost me to insure a ford focus st 06 plate?

Im only 17, my 18 birthday is coming up and i only need a bit of money to buy a focus st, i really need to know how much insurance would be since i am only 17 wont have the car until 18 though. Dont know if that would make a difference! Would just like to know what price estimated ? Thanks for reading x""

Question about my 18 year old and insurance

I have an 18 year old who takes ADHD medication which without insurance costs well over $300 a month. She is not interested in going to college at this point so I'm not sure how much longer I can keep her on my insurance plan. Assuming it takes her awhile to find a job with good insurance does anyone have any suggestions on how to make her medical needs affordable for her?

How much is insurance if...?

I am 16, female and driving a sports car [[camaro]]? please give an average for texas and several different companys!""

How much can i expect to pay for storage insurance?

I plan on getting a street bike, and sitting my truck. I pay 1400 dollars a year for full coverage right now.""

My car insurance company wants to use recycled parts for a repair to my car. Is this legal?

My car insurance company wants to use recycled parts for a repair to my car. Is this legal?

What is a good first car that would have low insurance rates?

What is a good first car that would have low insurance rates?

""If you pay an annual sum for car insurance, can you get a refund on it if you buy a new car?""

I'm just wondering, let's say I bought some car insurance recently and paid the annual sum. If I decide to purchase a new car in a few months time (and I'm assuming insurance policies are tied to a particular car) would I be able to get reimbursed for the months of car insurance I didn't get (since I'd need to sign up for a new insurance policy on the newly purchased car)? Or is this why you should pay monthly instead (even though it costs more in the long term)? Don't know if it makes much of a difference but I'm also in Australia.""

Geico homeowners insurance experience?

I have been getting quotes for a new home I am in the process of purchasing. I checked Geico homeowners insurance whiich works through ASI insurance. They quoted me a very low rate. 50% then the lowest of the other companies for the same coverage. Is there something I am missing here? Does anyone have any experience with this insurance?

Car Insurance If I Am Not The Car Owner?

Is it possible for me to insure myself to drive my sister's car, and to add her as a named driver? Or do I have to own the car. My sister has just passed her test, and her insurance would cost 700 if she does it herself. If I insure myself to drive the car and add her as a named driver, then it would be more like 200. Does my sister have to sign over ownership of the car to me for this to work?""

What's the most affordable auto insurance when you have drivers under 25?

I have two sons: ages 21 and 16. Need to know the cheapest option someone has found. The 16 year old took the defensive driving course, that it helps to lower his monthly insurance payment? What else, if anything, helps to lower the cost when there is under 25 years old drivers? Appreciate your answers""

If I apply for life insurance through a different company will they know what I told the first company?

I have life insurance with State Farm. I quit smoking on a daily basis 2 years ago but had a cigarette and 1 hit of marijuana on June 18th of this year. I told this to the underwriters because I wanted to be completely honest. All blood work came back negative for nicotine (Cotinine) and THC. State Farm charged me the smoker's rate and said I can get it reevaluated in 1 year. My agent told me I should have lied since it was just the 1 cig. I am not happy paying the smoker's rate as I don't consider myself a smoker. I called an Allstate agent and she says I can go thru her and just say no this time when asked by the underwriters about smoking. My question is, do they have the State Farm phone interview with the underwriters stored somewhere in some database and they will know I smoked the one cigarette or will I be ok just going thru Allstate and saying no to the smoking question this time?""

Taxi insurance?.....?

Just wondering how much about the taxi INSURANCE is to be a driver. Im 21, have my own car. Normal insurance is around 240 PM (60 week). Anyone know how much extra on top of that for taxi insurance? Around 30 more ive been told?""

Gettting car insurance for more than one car?

si my big brother has a BMW series 3 and got the insurance done for it through my dad i've not long passed my test and have been ask to buy a MG TF and was wondering would i still be abel to get insurance through my dad as well even though my big brother had insurance through him for his car?

Should I live without health insurance?

I'm 33. My husband and I are self-employed and not making much money right now. We recently graduated from the same masters program and started our business. We would like to start a family - soon. Costs of raising a child aside, I am beginning to worry about the costs of having a baby in the U.S. I have begun looking into different insurance plans. Currently I am covered at a VERY basic level and he has no insurance. From what I have found so far, all the plans we can afford have very large deductibles, especially where pre- /postnatal and labor and delivery costs are concerned. Is it crazy to consider paying for these expenses out of pocket? It seems as though we will need to come up with about $20,000 on our own before our deductible is met in any case. Should we save the $350 - $450 per month that the insurance would cost? Can anyone recommend an insurance plan with decent pregnancy coverage for a self employed couple in Washington state? Also, does anyone know how or if the Affordable Care Act will change coverage for pregnant women? Thanks.""

Ways to lower my insurance rate?

Hey, Im in highschool at the moment and im not reaching my car dilemma Im a male at the age of 16 (not looked well upon by insurance companies I hear) and I am insured by Statefarm. I was wondering if someone could help me out by telling me how i could lower my monthly insurance rate. The car im getting has side airbags and good crash test ratings, and im going to be adding mods to it (either rsx type-s or volkswagon golf gti) and i would most likely be installing rollover bars. Would this help my insurance rate go down? What other steps could I take? Thank you!""

1 day or Weekend Auto Insurance?

Hi Guys, I have a car that has no insurance on it since i am not using it any more but still runs good. I need to travel to NY from Detroit this weekend and again don't need it any more there in NY. Are there any cheap Auto Insurance firms that give us auto insurance for the weekend only. Thanks a lot for the help.""

What is considered full coverage on auto insurance?

i have progressive and i just wanted to know what is really considered full coverage. please no rude answers!

How much is car insurance for a new driver that will be driving a used car? in IL?

the car is already payed for, and i will need to be paying for insurance for a 16yr old, how much is it per month/yr?""

Where can I get affordable health insurance?

I'm a student and I work, but work does not offer it.""

What's the cheapest car to insure for a 17 year old?

I've just turned 16 and I am starting to save up for a car/insurance, I'm just wondering whats the cheapest car to buy and insure for a 17 year old. I know it varies where you live ect ect, but I'm just wondering generally. Also would a robin reliant be cheap to insure?""

Can I add my son's girlfriends car to my auto insurance policy?

My son's girlfriend is 18 and she is purchasing a new car. She is financing part of it. The insurance for her is very expensive so I though maybe I could add her to my policy. I figure if the car was in my name it wouldn't be a problem, but since it is going to be in her name and since she's not actually related to me I may not be able to do it.""

Banner Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38913

Banner Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38913

""What are the insurance range for a CBR600RR, beginner drive with 5 years of ecxcellent SUV driving expereinces

I live in So. Cal and want to purchase the CBR600RR (06-08 model) how much insurance should I expect to pay for this car?

What do i do for auto insurance?

so i live in Calgary and i'm buying a car in Airdre. i have to drive it back to Calgary. but i need all the information to pay for insurance and registration. and a licence plate that matches the car.. what should i do??? i have a licence plate but its on a kia and im buying a toyota.. HELP!!!!!

Does this sound like a Fair price for Obamacare insurance in California?

Monthly Premium $321 Deductible $2000 Co-pay $45 Specialty care Copay $65 Generic Med $25 Max out of Pocket $6400 FYI my brother has his own general practice, he said on average he charges people without insurance abot $60-70 for an office visit (cash,check,credit card or invoice)""

Insurance on Crossfire. 16 Year old.?

i am a 16 year old boy and i was wondering what the insurance would be on a 2004 Chrysler Crossfire Coupe. I am pretty sure that it is a sportscar. So, help me out. I got to convince my parents to get me one.""

What is a good place to get affordable health insurence if your employer dosn't offer any?

What is a good place to get affordable health insurence if your employer dosn't offer any?

""The shutdown has cost 22 Billion in 11 days, how much health insurance would that buy?

in your opinion

How much does it cost for insurance on a scooter in europe?

I don't need an exact number, just give me a range.""

What is the AVERAGE cost of surgery to fix a varicocele without insurance in the midwest?

I have a varicocele in my left testicle. I have no medical insurance. How much does this operation cost to fix it? I know it will vary, but i want to know the AVERAGE cost. This is in a midwest state.. Also, if I dont make a lot of money, could I get some type of government medical assistance to pay for some of it? Im 28, and aside from the varicocele im in good health.""

What would an insurance company pay for a totalled 2006 Toyato Camery?

What would an insurance company pay for a totalled 2006 Toyato Camery?

What is the best health insurance for a newly married couple to get?

My husband and I just got married and are looking to get health insurance. we both can not get insurance through work. we live in arizona, my husband attends ASU. We are both involved in masters programs. We are looking to start a family poss. with in the year! what is the best coverage we can get, with our student incomes? thanks in advance for any advice / guidence you can provide!""

What is the cheapest teenage auto insurance in texas??

in austin, texas just got a permit ....drive a honda,-accord ... am going to be 16 in like 4 months""

What would insurance be for me with this car?

2004 nissan sentra se-r, silver, 4 door, manual transmission. I'm 17 years old and would drive the car to work and school about 5 days a week. I have never gotten a ticket or been in an accident.""

""The most basic and cheapest insurance available, forget what it's called?""

There's a type of insurance for mostly minors or people who deal with used cars that are cheap etc, rarely driven, traded often, and it's called ______ I forget, and it only entitles you to be insured against law suits if the other person is injured. Real crappy insurance right? I'm starting to trade cars but some will need to be driven to shops and stuff like that. In my state MICHIGAN, you need to have insurance BEFORE you register, which sucks for me. For example, I am about to buy a piece of crap 500 dollar Chevy Cavalier and I need to most basic insurance, I just forget the term for this. I don't want to get a huge big policy for a car that will be driven probably less then 50 miles in it's time that I have it.""

Cheapest Sport Motorcycle to insure?

What is the cheapest sportbike to insure??? I have a Suzuki GS500E right now but want to upgrade and don't want to pay GSXR type insurance.

Why is my car insurance so expensive? Give me a GOOD reason why.?

I have my driving test tomorrow, looking forward to it, but car insurance for a car which is worth 200, the car insurance comes from 2500 - 4000. Why on earth does it come to this??!! Insurance companies are all sharks. No wonder so many people are uninsured.""

Does production company need insurance?

One of my biggest concerns when starting a production company that would specialize in small time video making for buisnesses and there services for marketing and commercials possibly who knows would be INSURANCE would I need liability insurance or is it illegal to just not have that or is it for piece of mind.So say if my production business shoots a restaurant and there services and then shoot some motor cross business where they advertise there atvs and vehicles etc.If the answer is yes then what if I use my own stunt riders? is liability insurance a law to have? I'm in the TEXAS

I got a ticket for no insurance..?

but i actually did have insurance i just happen to show the officer the wrong one is there anything i can dot to avoid this 3 yr surcharge.

Where can a single mother with 2 kids (21 18) get low cost health insurance?

My parents have recently divorced. My father is moving back to Ireland and has to quit his job. My mother, brother, and I were covered under his insurance. But once he leaves the country our insurance will cease. My mother works at home and does not make very much money. We are looking for coverage for the three of us that is not expensive and very low cost as we do not have the means to afford much. We only need it for about a year as I will be graduating and teaching full time as a NYC teacher by next September. *My brother is legally blind, but other than that there are no serious health issues and none of us are tobacco users. *We are hoping to get insurance that would cover quality licensed professionals. *We understand in this economy you get what you pay for, But we honestly do not have much. We are hoping for something affordable without being skimmped on coverage. Thanks :-)""

What is the best insurance company?

I'm looking for a company that offers life, auto, and home insurance. Good rate and customer service.""

Whats the cheapest insurance company in NYC?

Whats the cheapest insurance company in NYC?

Can someone please help me find the best insurance for me?

I need something that covers dental, vision and as much Health as possible. (Routine check ups, lab work, specialist, etc) Something with an affordable deductible and Affordable Copay..I'm not very familiar in this area but I'm 99% sure that I have progressed type 2 Diabetes as well as other various health problems and desperately need to visit the doctor. Thank you.""

When do car insurance rates drop?

At what age do car insurance rates drop? Currently I am a 20 year old male living in Kansas. Also what else will cause insurance to go down. If you get married, have kids, etc....? Thanks.""

Does anybody know of cheap car insurance for over 50s?

Does anybody know of cheap car insurance for over 50s?

Cheap health insurance? Im a middle 30's single male. Is there a place I can compare quickly like car insuran?

I filled out one thing but it turned out to be almost a phishing scam. Im about to do COBRA, but I think I can get something cheaper. Im also in SC if that matters. Any guesses?""

Life insurance through disability until age of 65. Now they say there is no policy for me.?

In 2003, I received an award letter of life insurance until the age of 65. I called the company recently to see about it and they said another company had taken over-I called them and they said I was not in the system and said to call a 3rd company which may have taken over my policy. I called them and they said, No-I have no life insurance policy. Where and who can I get in touch with regarding the policy I was awarded and it seems to have disappeared.""

Banner Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38913

Banner Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38913

88 Toyota pickup 2wd- whats the insurance costs with just liability?

88 Toyota pickup 2wd- whats the insurance costs with just liability?

Will insurance cover a salvage car?

I need to know cuz im buying a car. what insurance company will cover it. and will it be expensive??

Exactley how does term life insurance work?

Whats the difference between regular life insurance and term?How does term work?

How can i get a copy of my old insurance card from state farm?

How can i get a copy of my old insurance card from state farm?

How much would insurance cost for an old 1960s/1970s car?

im new to everything dealing with cars and i lovee the 1967 cadillac eldorado..

I have reasontly had my car stolen and am wondering how much the insurance are going to pay me ?

my car was a red vaxaull corsa M reg (1994) very excellent condition one OAP as a previous owner it had done 95,000 miles and had 11 months mot on it i valued it with the insurers for 500 even tho i think its worth more! and i was covered for 3rd party, fire n theft! so and ideas as to how much i will get?""

What is a good cheap dual sport motorcycle for starters?

im looking for a dual sport motorcycle 250cc. i need something that is cheap and easy to learn on, good on insurance (yes a dream bike) im turning 16 in august and cant wait to get my first bike. im partialy getting a dual sport because they are easy to learn on but because i live in canada and if im going to have a bik im not letting it sit in the garage for 6-7 months of the year. also if there are any good suggestions for good cheap gear (gloves helmet and jacket) im 16 5 ft 11 and about 180 lbs. im not looking for an extreme bike just something that can handle a some rain and snow and get me from home to school and work. for the bike i am not willing to go over $4000. right now i am considering yamaha xt250, suzuki dr200se (does anyone know if they make a 250? i couldnt seem to find one) yes i fully understand the dangers of riding thats why im only looking at 250cc cuz i dont plan on using highway but i still need a bike i can use for the test which has a highway portion. and are there any suggestions for good motorcycle schools? right now it seems the closest one is at durham college ( i live in pickering ontario)""

Cheap insurance cars?

What new-ish cars (about 2008 onwards) are amongst the cheapest to insure for a 17 year old male? Not really looking at a stereotypical first car like a Corsa or Clio etc. I know insurance isn't cheap, but what cars have the cheapest available?""

""For me, the auto insurance company USAgencies is cheaper than Progressive, Geico, All State, State Farm, ...?""

....Direct, The General, and Safe Auto. Does anyone have an auto insurance company not mentioned above that is cheaper than USAgencies? Do not send my links of places that quote different companies. I want to know from your personal experience.""

I was in a car accident. My car was deem a total lost. The insurance towed my car away. I waited 1 year?

trying to get my claim paid. Today I received a letter from some car auction center, stating that I had to go get my car or they will charge me storage per day. now my car was a honda 05 I originally finaced the car and still owe money on the car. like 13000. The insurance company is not paying my claim. The finance company gave me a charge off on my credit. Now If I go pick up this car. is the car now mines? I do not have the title. How do I get the title.""

How do I get health and dental insurance?

I am getting married soon. I will be 18 and he will be 21. I have blue cross blue shield through my dad's work and the magnolia health plan(kinda like medicaid) bc I was adopted. ...show more

Can I drive my friends car without insurance?

I don't own a car. I don't have auto insurance in canada. If I borrow a friends or familyies car, am I covered under his insurance?""

How much is car insurance?

How much is car insurance?

What does it mean by excess and young drivers excess?

I'm looking at a car insurance and i'm confused when it say for example 250 excess and 250 young drivers excess. Does that mean i would be paying 500 in excess or just the 250?

Do I have to be on my parent's car insurance to drive my car in Florida?

I'm a little confused because my dad says I don't have to because *only* the car needs insurance. But then why are people on insurance lists for cars?

Can I get my own car insurance policy with State Farm and still be covered on my parent's policy?

I have been on my parents' car insurance for a few years. I have a car that is covered by their policy, but I just bought another car (I still have my old one) and I need insurance. Can I get my own policy with State Farm, or do I have to bundle it with my parents' current policy? Will that be cheaper?""

Is it cheaper to buy your own car insurance or to add on to your parents premium?

You're a new driver, 19, and you have a 2004 Honda. Would it be cheaper to add on to your parents insurance plan?""

Can my License Plates be suspended under the mandatory insurance law even if I did not drive the car?

My sister was arressted for driving my car with no insurance and now my plates are suspended. I thought it was only if you were driving your own car they would suspend it? Help!

Car insurance? Insurethebox?

Can someone help me please? Im trying to get insurance quotes on a couple of cars, I tried with a Fiat Punto, and coudnt get any AT ALL. I then tried a Citroen C2, that came back at 4grand - 5 grand Fully comp. I then tried to get insured on a Peugeot 206 This also came back at 4-5 grand, fully comp. Insurethebox coudnt even give me a quote? Someone explain this to me? No years bonus, and 18, but still the insurance shoudnt be 4 grand? I would get a corsa, but to many of my friends have them, and i dont want one. I do want a peugeot 206, but i cant get insured.. am i doing something wrong? help!""

Car Insurance for Teen Girl Estimate HELP PLZ?

How much would you estimate that insurance for a 16 year old brand new driver in a 2001 acura integra 2 door hatch back would cost with a good student driver discount? any idea? any one close to those guide lines that have an idea willing to share? Please help thanks

Anyone have experience with ASDA car insurance?

Asda car insurance seems to be the cheapest by far in the comparison websites but are they reliable?

Question about car insurance on L PLATES in england?

Hi there,i was wondering if you could please help me here i am due to take my theary test soon but befour i do i was going to get a car and drive round on L PLATES with my lessons aswell so i can get extra experiance,i was just wondering if i am to do this il get the car inshored forwhat it costs me to insure say its 700 a year when i have passed my best i will wanna take the L PLATES off,will i have to pay more for my insurance after this or can i just take them off and drive as normal when i have passed my test?because if i got insured on LPLATES it is cheaper then a first pasts driver thas why i was confused.if you could please let me know because i really could do with the estra experiance....and also i was told that who ever i drive round with on LPLATES has to be insured on my car for them to be able to instruct me is this true? thanks for your time and help many thanks, Andrew.""

Adding a Black Box to my Car Insurance?

I am a new, young driver, and in order to reduce the cost of car insurance I am looking into the Black Box (I am aware of both the benefits and drawbacks). However, when finding a ...show more""

Car insurance?

which car insurance company do you perfer for a teen that just starting a job and just turned 16

How do i transfer my brother's car to my name in california?

its a 1974 vw bus. i want it as my car. how much is it to change it to my name? and im 17 how much wud the cheapest insurance be? and the tags are a few months outdated.. wat am i getting into?

Banner Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38913

Banner Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38913

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/tip-cheap-car-insurance-classic-benjamin-frazier/"

[comicteaparty]

May 3rd, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on May 3rd, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Suriska by Claire Burn.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY START!

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing Suriska by Claire Burn~! (http://suriskacomic.com/) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer, and you can pay them no mind if you wish. If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! As a bonus, each chat a top comment will be picked and featured in the archives and on an ad for CTP! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I really liked Freyja checking the stove multiple times, I laughed out loud since it's something I've always done when leaving the house.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes that was a moment i connected with too. not that ive really checked the stove but ive had to deal with other similar issues of checking things a dozen times. im glad for the timing of that too cause it really helped explained why corin going missing got to her so much

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hello there! I’ll be there in a bit, currently AFK for the time being!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

kay~!

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I've really enjoyed learning more about Freya as a character too, I feel like there's a lot of depth beneath her that we're just starting to uncover

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. there are a lot of interesting elements to her character. mostly because i hmm why shes in the town. like corin is understandable because corin's anxiety is a bit more debilitating. whereas freya seems completely functional and yet somehow stuck

i think my favorite scene is less a scene is the one where freya busts into johann's place and just doesnt say anything. shows him the picture and hes like "well shit ive been found out."

🌟Draco Plato🌟

OH! I liked that too, it also added more layers to the story. And yeah, overall I find Corin a simpler character since it's pretty clear why he is the way he is and his debilitating anxiety, etc

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

another scene i like for its effect on the story itself is the story about the origin of the snow. i really liked that it gave the town a sort of history, even if it might be a fictional and fantastical one XD

🌟Draco Plato🌟

Yeah I did think that was really good for expanding the lore of the story~!

wishjacked

I have a really strong love/hate relationship with the scene where the old man at the train station recognizes Corin and asks about his parents. It's really funny in the most painful way imaginable

And I like Freya a lot!! I'm interested to see where her character goes-- I think there are a lot of hints that she's not as functional as she appears at first, and I'm interested to see where that goes haha

🌟Draco Plato🌟

Oh same!!

Omg that scene at the train station, that old man was ridiculously awful in his questions, from bad to worse

felt so bad for Corin

wishjacked

Like the oven thing was funny, but weirdly drawn out compared to a lot of other jokes, and she also has that scene in the bathroom where she has this weird, disjointed cause-and-effect logic that because she left the soap out, it caused something totally unrelated and bad to happen. I've wondered if those things have some deeper meaning to her character or world lol

Me too, I was dyyyyiiiiiing for that whole scene

🌟Draco Plato🌟

same, same, I feel like there's something to delve into there behind her little ticks

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that is true. the stove thing i get, but the soap out did throw me for a loop. so its a good point that her problems may go a bit deeper. albeit shes at least not so tormented shes staying home all day. i imagine it takes her like an hour to actually leave her house though

that old man scene though, man, i erased that from my memory

it just made me so uncomfortable

like old man where is your human decency O_O

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeeeeah, like geezus 0 sympathy for the poor kid

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. i mean youd think corin just told him the weather was not so great, not that his parents died tragically O_O

🌟Draco Plato🌟

altho there was a part of me that thought as a writing choice that was low hanging fruit for showing his anxiety heightened and why he has it and I thought that maybe it could have been added in more strategically than so forced

but that was more my thought on a writing analysis viewpoint

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

tbf i actually wondered if that was the true dialogue and if we were getting an unreliable narrator effect going. like the old man was actually being nicer but corin's anxiety translated the words to something else.

http://suriskacomic.com/62.html

especially after that scene it makes me feel that inclination stronger

wishjacked

oh, that's a very interesting thought!!

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I did wonder that too Rebel!

wishjacked

Honestly I took the scene at face value bc I straight up am that old man. and thaaaaaaaaaaaat's why I have no friends XD

🌟Draco Plato🌟

LOL!!!

wishjacked

there tends to be a really strong "unreliable narrator" feeling in general-- beyond Corin's anxiety rewriting speech bubbles, Freya's narration is just snarky enough that I'm not quite sure exactly how biased she is in her representation of her town and etc

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hmm im not sure i got that representation from freya. her items i took more at face value. that being said, i do think shes suffers from a sort of complex in how she sees herself? like she got super pissed about johann not trusting her and thinking she couldnt handle the secret and what not, and something about it struck me as kind of odd. tho i couldnt put a finger on what

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I was surprised how agreeable she was to covering up for an affair

and how nonchalant she was about it, since that's a rather big deal

it made me wonder where she lies on a morality line

which i thought was intriguing

cause my first assumption is she'd be very anti it so it went against my expectations which i like

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that is also true. not to mention its a very risky secret to keep. the about page says this towns population is 150. and small towns of that size generally make it hard to keep secrets of that level

🌟Draco Plato🌟

right! So I'm interested where that story route will go

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 2. Throughout the comic we see the portrayal of mental illnesses, from Corin’s anxiety to Freya’s OCD tendencies. Was there any aspect of their portrayal you particularly connected with? Why? Do you think Corin and Freya will be able to learn to cope with their illnesses better? If so, what do you think has to happen for them to be able to get a better handle on life? Particularly in the case of Corin, what do you foresee as potential conflicts he’ll have to face in regards to his anxiety, and do you think he’ll triumph over them?

as for the first question

once again http://suriskacomic.com/62.html

that page

ive been there. where no matter what people are actually telling you all you hear is how worthless you are. not fun times. and i thought that was really a lovely way to illustrate it. the sudden change in color schemes really sets the mood. and the messy handwriting for corin's added thoughts really i think emphasis the volitile nature of them

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah I felt that was relatable as well(edited)

to a much smaller degree than what Corin has though, but I've been there with crippling anxiety before

My hope is that by the end of the story he'll have learned to cope with it but I could see the creator not taking that direction as well

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

itd be a shame if corin didnt learn better coping mechanisms though. :< like, what a horrid life to live with such anxiety. not to mention from the sounds of it corin moved there to change himself, so hes not gonna be changing himself if that happens. granted i dont expect him to ever be fully "cured" (for lack of a better word). just still, itd be nice if he could go outside or open the door without thinking about how people secretly all hate him or something.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I do think he needs to change for it to be a compelling story arc for him

cause a lack of progression in his condition would just be overly sad especially with the background he came there to change

but if the change character is Freya and not Corin I could see the story not helping Corin in his condition

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah thats true. and tbh im not sure corin is in the right place to change as far as his anxiety goes. im really torn about that. cause on the one hand being able to go to a remote location could be a good mental break. but on the otherhand it can also worsen the anxiety. however corin progresses.

im interested to see how corin handles being on a train

cause thats not really a place where you can actively avoid people in super close proximity

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I think there's also a small chance Corin could be the "antagonist" of the story

if he flips out to such a degree

that it hurts those around him

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

alrighty, I'm here at last

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hi super~!

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hi Rebel! Thanks again for doing the CTP

Before I jump in I want to say I like the winter aesthetics of this comic.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

corin is kind of the antagonist. he did hide that letter. which is...like i get he doesnt want to go but he didnt need to deprive freya of the reunion. hes an adult so she technically cant tell him what to do.

yeah its really nice to see a winter setting, especially one where ppl are actively dressed for it

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah i like the winter aesthetic too, and yeah that really made me question Corin on the morality line, that he hid the letter from her just because he wasn't sure if he wanted to go or not. It made me feel he was super self absorbed and doesn't consider his actions and their affect on other people

also who was he mailing the letter to in the most recent page?

it had a sinister feel to it the way it was portrayed

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

considering he was looking at a magazine catalogue thing that had a thing that looked like a radio for 19.99, i assume he was mailing a letter that said "plz give me this product"

🌟Draco Plato🌟

oh! was that it, i didn't notice, I wonder why it was made to feel like such a big deal then panel and tone wise

I guess it could have been done that way because of him over hearing the conversation too

I just didn't think it was that relevant to him since he wouldn't have known the tickets were for him and Freya

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

well to be fair the next page may directly say "these are for the farthas so they can go to their reunion" and then corin may be all gasp

i kind of thought the tone was sinister too although i assumed that was an artistic choice to express corin's anxiety. cause when you arent a fan of people, going out where there are people is probably gonna be a sinister undertaking

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah, maybe the next page will piece it together better, that could change a lot. I think if his anxiety was the focus there'd have been more focus panel wise on his expressions and less on the letter and mail box

I was actually surprised it didn't focus on his anxiety more

since it seemed like him going there would be a big deal

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thats true. on a side note and kind of off topic, i like the pattern on corin's hat. like i think its just a really nice detail.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

>On Page 59 >Chills at around -20 Is that in F or C

🌟Draco Plato🌟

probably F since the creator is from the US

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Holy Christ

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 3. Suriska may be a small town, but plenty trouble seems to be afoot even so. Do you think Corin will ever hear the end of the whole town going out to look for him? Do you think Corin will be able to maintain employment, or will his employer eventually let him go? In regards to Freya who discovered Johann’s affair, do you think she’ll actually be able to keep the secret? If so, do you think she might take advantage of knowing it since she already got free train tickets out of it? Do you think there are any other shadowy things happening within the town? Regardless, do you think being in the town will help Freya or Corin change perspectives on their life? If so, how can this particular town help? Alternatively, do you think the town is actually making their individual ruts worse?

well it is a winter town. those temps are expected

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

A part of me feels sorry for Corin.

also yea

He just looks like the guy that goes through a lot

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I bet something spooky happens because it's a small town, small town stories generally like to focus on the spooky

someone will die or something supernatural will happen

O_O

also it seems like the witches will be proven to be real or something since it had such a long introduction of importance

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

twist: the winter story was true and corin is gonna run into a fox and corin will bring more winter

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

omg Page 68 tho

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah, omg yeah that's probably it rebel

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

and the stuff about an affair

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I feel like the fox/witch story had such a long focus was because it's going to become a big part of the story

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Now that you mention it, maybe(edited)

🌟Draco Plato🌟

also the guy in the story looked a bit like Corin

so i feel there's a connection there

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

mmm

I smell foreshadowing

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i actually got the opposite impression. i cannot see the fox/witch story becoming part of this story in its current course. cause that was the only moment where anything remotely supernatural was even mentioned. and since the rest of this comic is so ingrained in real life issues, it would just be too out of the blue to me to bring it up again

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

what if that was only part of the story

and there's a continuation

of sorts later on(edited)

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I do think the supernatural turn would actually be unwelcomed since that's very common and I prefer it being rooted in reality for what it has been so far. Buuuut small town stories, they love to go into the supernatural and that was a long focus on the fox story

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

still would doubt that. cause again, its delving into the supernatural where 90% of the rest of the comic has nothing supernatural about it.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Maybe the story could have some kind of greater meaning

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I've read a lot of comics before that have turned supernatural though in the middle

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

rather than just connecting Corin to it

🌟Draco Plato🌟

so it wouldn't be that strange

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

also yea

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i did think the focus was long, but it can come up in other ways. like maybe corin will use the story as an inspiration to go on a journey. thats more realistic

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah it definitely could be used in other ways

I'd rather see the story be an emotional journey for the characters without the use of a supernatural trope

but again I don't think it'd be uncommon for it to go there

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'll say I'm for the emotional journey part(edited)

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I mean Corin could also just flip out and start murdering people saying he is the fox or something

the story is pretty wide open atm

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

true. i mean maybe the supernatural will come up. i cant really even say this is the middle of the story cause who knows how long its going to be. for all i know were still technically in the beginning.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

Maybe Corin doesn't want to go on the train so he runs away into the woods and he meets the fox

and then he goes on a journey with the fox

and freya has to find him

and then he gets over his anxiety by realizing he still has freya left or something

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes that could be a possibility. the story couldve just been there to be there. add to that winter lore

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Maybe the fox could be Corin hallucinating or imagining it(edited)

and it speaks with him

🌟Draco Plato🌟

Fox could be the manifestation of his anxiety

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^^^

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i do think the story is going to go the route where corin has to leave the town. imho i dont think the town is helping him at all atm. especially freya cause shes kind of an enabler of just letting him laze about the home. like....hes 21 and she treats him like hes a teen or younger. and i personally think those conditions make it hard for him to grow.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah I agree, Freya is an enabler since she doesn't require him to do anything to help around the house or anything

so it breeds stagnation

He needs to make an emotional journey alone most likely

cause the demons are first and foremost inside himself

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes.

at the very least if he stays in town everyone will constantly remind him about how he ran away and the whole town searched

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

cause man did that town look excited about it XD

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'm thinking he migrates to someplace a bit warmer

if I had anything to say

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah, omg Like geezus this town(edited)

he'd be lucky to go somewhere warmer, lolol

oh you asked about if he'd lose his job or not, I actually thought it was amazing he even had a job with his level anxiety. Was legit shocked by that XD(edited)

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

im confused a bit by the geography of this town. in the sense is this town just experiencing winter atm or is it like eternal winter.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

same

I couldn't tell if the curse made it an all year thing or just seasonal

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

which is what i thought the point of the fox/witch story was more. to create something about the seasons

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah if there was a concrete answer regarding it i missed it

but it makes a huge difference

cause if there really is a curse and it's an all year thing than that already puts the supernatural in

if it's related to the curse that is, and not just hey we're winter all year cause of geography, etc

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

for some reason the town really reminds me of alaska

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Me too

I thought it would be someplace in Canada

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I was thinking more of sweden or switzerland

based on their haircuts and clothes

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

but Alaska was what came into my mind first

the clothes looked more Russian to me

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

was skimming the beginning for clues, theres a magical thumb that covers the location

so im gonna assume it doesnt matter

maybe its symbolic

suriska the town is a state of mind

🌟Draco Plato🌟

lolol

i'mma assume it's fictional until otherwise stated

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea(edited)

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

(It might be estonian, based on the fact that they mention Kalavinski which... is a giant rubber boot in estonian apparently)

🌟Draco Plato🌟

a wild Kabo appears

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Only briefly!

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

eey Kabo! o/

also lol, is that really a thing?

🌟Draco Plato🌟

okay yeah that adds up with their clothes

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

But yeah, I was figuring northwest Europe somewhere. Originally I'd thought Nordic, but Estonia makes sense too.

erm, northeast.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

norway would make sense too cause of her name

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

............ directions, man, what are they even

Right?!

🌟Draco Plato🌟

like duuur why didn't i connect that even thought it earlier

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

My mind will forever think

some kind of cross between Alaska and Russia(edited)

🌟Draco Plato🌟

so the name Corin is Irish

that doesn't help

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

fartha is also an irish name?

well assume europe

thats good enough

🌟Draco Plato🌟

somewhere in europe, yus

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea Europe sounds good

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

in regards to corin's job, it does sound like its a pity job so his performance may not matter

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah i like when that was brought up cause it made it make more sense to me

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

tho i wonder if he's 1) getting paid and 2) contributing to household utilities and such

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 4. At the beginning of the comic, Freya forcefully declares that she and Corin will be going to a family reunion, whether Corin actually wants to go or not. Do you think Freya will actually get Corin to go, or will Corin magically vanish come time to leave? If Corin doesn’t go, will Freya go alone? If they do both manage to go, do you think the reunion will go well? What do you think in general will happen at the reunion? Speaking of which, what do you think the other members of the family will think of Corin? Do you think something at the reunion will make Corin have a new perspective on his parents’ death? If there is no reunion, how do you think this will affect Freya and Corin’s relationship with their family?

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hmmm

I think Corin would make some excuse to go and just

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I bet we don't see the reunion, lolol

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

stay on the side

🌟Draco Plato🌟

and corin will run off and freya will have to find him

cause I think it's unlikely the story will shift away from the small town

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

idk i feel like the reunion is a potential future still. albeit i consider the liklihood of corin actually going to be slim

i could see freya just going "fine whatever stay here by yourself"

and then she goes to the reunion

🌟Draco Plato🌟

since the small town is mentioned so predominately in the about Is why i think they're going to stay there

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

unless his personality takes a full 180 by then

🌟Draco Plato🌟

cause the town is itself a character

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Is that so?

🌟Draco Plato🌟

"Suriska: population 150. It's neither Freya nor Corin's definition of paradise, but it is their home... if you could call it that. Apparently it's where you end up if you try to change your life for the better. What does it take to get out of this rut? It might take spite, it might take snowstorms, or it might just take a reevaluation of your morals."

ALTHOUGH

"A slice-of-life comic about trains, bad weather, and insecurities."

that's the tagline

which makes me think they'll get on the train and get in a bad snowstorm and get stranded, lolol

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hmm

Why do i keep thinking Corin should just do photos of the snow and mountains for a living

with a camera

and store all the photos somewhare

like to give people a taste of what life looks like up north(edited)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i dont forsee that working. it doesnt look like the town really has many electronics of any sort. like theyre still using landlines

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

also yea

you do have a point

🌟Draco Plato🌟

plus making a living as an artist isn't the easiest thing, lol

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

double-point taken

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

just cause they go to a reunion doesnt mean they cant come back. and you can still make the town predominant if the characters talk about it. like i imagine freya's family has lots to ask about it. so in that context it still makes the story part of it. but man, i bet you if freya did go to the reunion she would tell her sister with the foot thing all about johann's affair. make it even thinking nobody will ever meet

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I wonder what time era this takes place in, or if the residents deliberately don't use much electricity in case the power goes out or something and it'd be hard to repair

🌟Draco Plato🌟

Personally I'd like them to go to the reunion, i think it'd be interesting,

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i assume its modern times but that their town is super remote. cause if you have a remote enough town you dont get a lot of stuff we consider common

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

🌟Draco Plato🌟

that's what i assumed too

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

ya know

theres a way for the reunion to happen and them to not leave

freya's family comes to them instead

and everyone has to cram into freya's tiny house

🌟Draco Plato🌟

hahah that's true

altho trains being in the tagline makes me think that's going to be a huge thing

so one way or another they're getting on a train

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

yea

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe. i mean the trains are already kind of a thing

cause it was part of corin's job

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah but then you'd say train stations

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

not necessarily? its a tagline. its supposed to entice not be 100% to the letter accurate

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah, I know

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i do think someone is getting on a train

cause now these tickets are a big deal too

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah that did increase the importance of the journey

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I always liked when stories go on trains IMO

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i wonder what freya would even do if corin just stayed in bed when theyre supposed to leave and said "nope not going"

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'd be curious about that too

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I wondered that too, if she'd make him go forcibly, but there is a point I don't think she could physically make him go

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i actually kind of hope freya goes and corin doesnt to a degree. cause i think him having to be alone and take care of himself might be good for him. or more id just be interested to see how he copes for a weekend. cause im slightly worried about his eating habits XD

🌟Draco Plato🌟

oh you know what

corin could stay and freya goes but the train gets in an accident due to the storm and he'd have to deal with the loss of freya too potentially

but freya doesn't die, just has to deal with being stranded

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

although ya know, being so far from home might be hard for freya. cause she cant exactly check the stove while shes hundreds of miles away

tho led my mind to comedic routes. imagining her trek across the snow for miles to get home. corin is like "omg youre okay" and first thing freya does is check the stove and sighs in relief

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hmm

That would be cool for a scene or two

Also I wonder what kind of foods they eat

prolly all warm stuff

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

well corin had a muffin. i assume its normal stuff that they eat. tho i imagine they do stick away from cold stuff just for matters of practicality

on a side note

im really impressed corin dresses so lightly

cause corin does not have any heat insulating body fat going on really O_O;;;

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I made it home before 10pm. ^_^;; Just wanted to say, I didn't have much free time this week, and so I didn't get far into the narrative, but that's partly because after I read the bit at the start with the kid and the teacher I thought if I don't stop now and do some marking, I'll read too far and be even more behind at work.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh hey Math! o/

Welcome to the final six minutes

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Enjoyed the start though! Curious to see what others have to say about it.

Better late than never?

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Also yea the beginning was cute

especially with the kids

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hey math~!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Apparently it goes to trains passing in the night.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

Hi Math~!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i did like the part where freya gave the kid coffee and then tricked her completely away from wanting to grow up so soon

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^^^

That part got me especially

🌟Draco Plato🌟

hahah i liked that too, but didn't think it'd work in real life XD

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

We teachers can be tricky.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

also took offense since i don't drink coffee, gosh

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

aside from loading the kid up in caffeine

I don't drink it either

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I also don't drink coffee, wooo.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

i drank more coffee as a kid than an adult freya, gosh

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I loved cappuchino growing up

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Anyway, I'll let you get final thoughts out.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

(I don't like warm drinks)

Great comic overall, hope to see it continue.

Everything about it was really pleasant to read

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

my last thoughts are that i really like the patterns on all the clothing. its that little bit of extra detail that adds some character to the setting and people existing within it

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^^^

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Nice.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY END!

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to Claire Burn, as well, for making Suriska and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Claire Burn’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!

For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on Linked by Kabocha. As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on May 10th from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! Comic: http://linkedcomic.com/

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #bookclub #comic bookclub #webcomic bookclub #start faire #startfaire #comic tea party #ctp #suriska #claire burn

[waynonna]

I'm not sure but I think I might have BPD, until I can talk to my doctor about it do you have any advice on how I might have a clearer understanding whether or not I do have it, like smaller symptoms, tells, etc. Thank you

hey anon! this is quite a lot, but i hope it helps

ok so, i know some people say “oh, just google” but tbh i dont trust google for this because

1. most stuff you’ll find are related to “how to deal with a borderline relative/partner/friend” and not enough about how to make the people with bpd feel better and

2. most articles and stuff talk about the major symptoms, but not everybody experiences the same thing, and some people have a milder disorder than others. as for the smaller symptoms, it’s harder to find stuff on

tbh when i started looking up bpd (in august last year) before talking about it with my doctor, i was really frustrated, cuz not only did those make me feel bad and abusive, but they didn’t give me information.

what helped me a lot was really trying to pay attention to my emotions, my mood changes. because a lot of doctors get bpd mixed up with bipolar disorder, it’s good for us to evaluate this too. one thing that i was told that’s different between both is that in bipolar disorder the mood changes can last for days, while in bpd they’re usually (but not always) in small intervals. sometimes it even lasts for a few minutes. 

one thing that might really help not only with anger/sadness/etc relief, but also with understanding those symptoms is writing a journal. doesn’t even need to be anything extensive, just something small about what youre feeling will help. and then when you gather all of that, you can analyse it.

now, as i said bpd is often different for different people. what i’m mentioning is mostly my own experience and what signs helped me realize i have bpd and talk to my doctor about it:

- an intense fear of being abandoned. i have a really big history of going into really deep depression after a breakup, being it romantic or not. any thought of being alone completely breaks me. which brings me to the jealousy. in my case, it isnt really a vengeful kind of jealousy, but more sad and angry, because that person who i idolize “is leaving me” or at least that’s what it looks like to me. that reminds me of when i was 16, and idolized my math teacher. she was helping me through my depression and ocd, and was amazing. then every single time i would see her talking to another student i would get really upset, have panic attacks, cry, and just want to interfere and stop it. i didnt know why, but somehow i had to be the only one she liked. once a friend of mine was talking to her about me and i had a major episode, because i Had to know if she was talking shit about me i just Had To.

- i tend to abandon everyone else, unconsciously, whenever i idolize someone. usually everything i do or want to do is related to that person. but then out of nowhere they make me hate them for a day or so, and then i love them again.

- impulsive behavior is a really big sign too. in my case, it was never anything like spending too much money, eating too much, having lots of sex, etc. mine were always unnoticed by me, actually, until i started thinking about it. since i was a kid, i always started a sport, dance, any class, and would drop after a month or so. ive tried literally everything the school had to offer, and every time it would get less exciting or id get sad, id drop it. when i was 10, i was attending an english language course, and we had an exam after just a week of classes. within a minute of the start of the exam, i started crying and asking to leave. the coordinator came and talked to me, telling me it would be ok to do it, but i didnt care. so i cried so much they had to call my mom. and i dropped it. now, in 2015, i started an architecture program at uni. it was fine at first, but then i had a major breakdown due to a person, and i decided to drop everything. so no more architecture. then i tried engineering. 1 month, something happened, i had a suicide attempt, ended up at the hospital, dropped the program. so pay attention to these behaviors, even if they seem normal to you. mine seemed like it because i justified it saying that i was just looking for “my calling”, but nothing would ever be that calling, because i wouldnt let it.

- overwhelming emotions, everything being exaggerated. always black or white, never gray. it you love it, you idolize it. if you dislike it, you hate it with everything in you. not only with people and things, but also ideas. and you cant understand neutrality. when someone is neutral with you, even if not being negative, it is like an insult anyway, and you lose it. and these are emotions that are terribly hard to control. you want to control them, but you cant. you try, but it’s never enough. and no one understands why youre freaking out over something as simple as dropping your ice cream, or getting your hair wet. small things like these have an enormous effect on people with bpd. and people always say “youre overreacting!” but honestly, not really. we feel that way. it may not be a big deal to them, but to us it feels like a stake to the heart.

- but also feelings of numbness. it took me a long time to realize i have this, because i honestly thought it was normal, everybody had it. and for a while related it to being sad (maybe theres 2 types of sad, feeling too more and not at all?). i usually describe it as feeling like im in a movie, like i know people and things are there and i can see and touch them, but i cant feel them. like im putting my hands in ice cold water, and i know its cold but i cant feel the cold. like i know the world exists but does it really? most of the time, when im not dissociating, i dont even remember what it feels like, because it feels like nothing.

- trouble expressing feelings and thoughts. idk if many people have this, but i have it quite often. somehow i cant put to words what is really going on with me and even when i do, people dont usually understand it.

- indecisiveness. seriously, i cant even decide what underwear to wear. i say i cant, because it’s not like i don’t want to, it just takes the whole of me to make a decision. whether it is a big one (lately ive been struggling with deciding where to go for my exchange program) or a small one (what to eat for dinner), it’s always a huge fight in my head, and most times it expresses itself in terrible ways. every time im faced with a choice, i end up crying, panicking, and most times decide to give up and not choose anything at all. sometimes i cant even choose to give up, i just lay there crying and screaming and hating everything. it’s a nightmare.

- a lot of anger when things dont go as expected, or when feeling abandoned, as well as extreme fear, and not being able to trust easily. but a lot of times being very kind too.

im trying to think of something else but dont really remember rn. these are the most important symptoms for me though, and what made me realize i have it. but really, if possible, write a journal, write things you feel, bad or good, anything can be useful.

you can also learn more about it and/or find some good helpful stuff here, here, here, here, here, here and here

#im sorry i wrote so much! #i usually do this and i need to stop #anyway i hope it was ok that its so much and that it helps! #sorry i couldnt think of anything else #and pls do let me know if u need any more help! #anonymous #answered #bpd things

[dreambook06]

Dream from: Jan 27, 2018, 1:00 AM to 9:40 AM

Jee.sus. No. this is so hard to write, it is SO goddamn much!!! WTF! so i will jump all over the place other wise it is too. much. so the longest part of the dream mustve been this wole alternate reality elementary school thing where there was a very ocd neat freak teacher who was like a pompous older woman but later it changed to sra. nelson lol. but she was like rly religious or something or idk like very whatcha call it like she thought pokemon was bad for kids or something idk so she hid all the pkmn stuff in the classroom or limited it or something idk something to do with pkmn somethings paper clipped to the floor then i broke in and puled them up out of the ground bc what she was doing was wrong and unfair to the kids idk exactly what it was. it made sense at the time. (i wasnt part of the classroom idk how i got involved in this all. i think i was present-day me the whole time?but veeeeery alterlate reality-y-nothing like irl at all) so yeah etc etc sO MUCH and then there’s this whole library thing where ... but it was so so much more like not a normal reality looking library it was jjust a single giant wall very flat mixed with theside of a cafeteria and on the wall there was a poster that said “frogger” w a pictute of frogger from ancient shadow and it was like one of those elementary lunch posters yknow like eat ur veggies or whatever and it apparaently was super nostalgic to me so i wanted to steal it lol and  i . did. i ws gonna just take a pic of it but i thought i might as well steal it to have the actual physicl thing in my posession. i took it off the wall and assumed no one would notice idk. this was all after house in the school btw so i went outin the side of the scool -verry unreality you dont understand- and put the rolled up poster behind or under a rock to take home when i left... also i had my ds w/ which was also near the rock and folds of some kind of paper thing but the whole time i was sueeper nervous someoneed find it and steal it. so much more ugh!! but basicallty the main thing was i was stealing back “my” childhood pokemon figures from the school that i’d stolen over the years when i used to go there - stolen from “sra. nelson”’s classroom and they somehow teletoprted out of my room and back tot theschool when they found out they were gone yrs later...etc... so i kept sneaking in and stealing back little by little and sra nelson set up like booby traps and stuff in this weird alternate reality classroom and things hanging from the wall idk. but later too i was i guess stealing pkmn cardswhich were on the thin library bookshelves.. i stolelike 3 of them and it became a huge deal the police were after me tryingto find out who did it so i had to keep sneaking back andreturning them after all but it made me so sad bc those thing were sonostalgic to me. idk soososososososo much more holy heck! there were way more characters it was insaaane!!! but im too awake now to recall and it’s not suuuuper important.. not one of those SUPER insanely unrealitydreams like the one from jan 20. 

so the whole other section of the dream was even more or just as wild... omfg.... gonna skip around a heck ton bc i dont know how it came to be,,,, so.

(ps i think i woke u p  around this part like slightly for 5 seconds to num-nums back side by my face bc she was up on be pillow behind and around my head with her back legs dangling on the side of the 2nd pillow by my face. she mustve just went up there or made some movement)

jeezuz it isSOmuch!!! nvm what i said before this is insalelyyl so osooo much!okay this isnt gonna be in order at all so this is gonna jump out of no where. basically it was this weirdweeriwriwridweirrdweridwerid world weirddddddd world like a weird unreality home a house a roun ish thingand i was thete somehow but also 3-ish year old me was there. and grandma c. and some parent idk. but idk. there was a couch and idk sooo much more a box tv in front of it...i guess i was there bc i was kind of time traveling through my life... but with tons of random stuff mixed together that don’t belong like ... fifer was in that house in this cat bed behind a curtain up high in this cat tree-like pillar... but fifer was dead. the dead body had been sitting in there for like 4 ish years at that point. they thought just putting a curtain over it would preserve the body. and i said that’s not how it works. but they pulled back the curtain (they=??? unreality version of mom?) and revealed fifer there perfectly preserved. then her leg began to move, she was moving, rising, like she was just waking up from a pleasant nap. hopped down the fuzzy beige pillar thing. acting normal.mom was stunned i was in disbelief reality was questioned.. i was like.. how...(also i was like “i thought we buried her in the woods at kc rd?”) was she never really dead and she’s just so so old she can do nothing but stay up there and not move? and every night she came down to eat? idk but mom was crying happily so hard. things were so weird idk idkidkkdkdkdkdkd.... later.... idk i was w/ dad in grandma evie’s alternate reality house kc rd house. everything was blank like no color so i had to use that one gimp tool that “select by color” tool and color the walls irl. like de blob... i didnt complete it. too much work and i didnt know the right colors everything was. i can’t remember the colors of things from old memory. i just used a deeper maroon brown ish color. but then i made my way to one room and idfk what else but it was reminiscent of old dreams big time and somehow the scene and everything shifted to something else and  a different room w/ a little seat thing by a curtained window and for some reason i was mimicking miranda sings voice, i was like ‘”it’s miraaaandaaaa..aa...a” so then jump back to that weird childhood house w/ me age 3 in it (but also me age present day whatever that is was there and it was from that pov this all happened..) so idfk like omg it was jus ttheir everyday life in like 2003 but unreality not not at all how it rly was just so werid in thisweird dome world house place omfg... big rooms weird angles of walls idk!! the whole place was like yellow...the vibe was kind of like this teletubbies thing but not rly it was just so... ugh!!cant xplain. 

anyway idk likegrandma doing dishes, cosette age 3 running around w/ rly curly hair lol......OH HOLY CRAP I REMEMBERED THE VERY EARLY PART OF THE START OF THIS DREAM HOLLLYY CRAP! wait... it’s slipping away.... let me thing...... ugh crap. it’s gone. but i remember like 2 fragments: so i was looking through some like idk videos of old school parties things idk that people recorded idk! like 7th grade and in one of them i was in a group with some other people and... karen! it was like this maze thing in the school idk like a party for fun kind of halloween idk idfk!! too vague to even...but it was weird for 2-3 reasons. 1: karen wasnt at our school in 7th grade. 2: karen and i were acting like BFFS and laughing w each other and playing games and making funny jokes. and 3: i looked like i was 5 years old in the video like a rly blonde and cuter version of 5 yr old me, while karen looked normal, like she was 13. it was rly weird idk but it ws so weird bc karen and i were best friends and while watching i was dumbfounded like i dont remember this at all!! and there were other clips too but idfk!!! idfr!!! (r= remember)

so back to thething... likek.   i was 3 and running around the place, trying to reach up by the dishes on the sink, reaching for a spoon and stuff, grndma or someone came over to me and pointed at the picture on the spoon of a 3d-ish patrick from spongebob coming off the spoon in a transarent squishy texture. and she asked who is this? and i said in a like my 1-1/2 yr old voice “patrick star.” etc it was so random it kept shifting back to the room w/ the dead fifer up there but also w/ the tv down andto the right of it and a our 00s colorful long couch.. grandma told me (apparently they could see me and stuff and it was just normal) to watch after 3yr old me while she did chores or idk.so i did and it was so hilarious the uninhibited things kid-me said. idk an example... but yeah eventually things got even more unreality w more giant rooms we traveled through and stuff al this weird trap door stuff and stuuuffffff. more characters came along idek.... but this now is near the end of the dream which i should’ve written about first bc now i forgot a lot.... so this will jump a lot and make no sense.... but i had my camera and was recording for fun... but the camera had ike 6 mins left on it which was bad. i wanted to record all the adventures that were going on it was crazy! omg.... so freaking much!!! this tiny little rat/frog thing that was on my hand i put it in front of the camera while i was on the couch watching a cartoon (a weird unreality show mix of childhood shows i dont even remember anything about it now frickign) w/ 3 yr old me and took a picture of the frog thing watching the show. and it was a rly good picture like hq and stuff..... later..... well basically the whole living room turned into water like deep water murky too and someone was trying to get across by riding an oxen or something...(oh yea somewhere in this dream there was a thing about me being vegan but i dont rmemeber. mightve been during all the “sra. nelson“craziness) but then the scene shifted to the same thing but aparently there were people filming a scene for a tv show or movie there and they had these scaey weird grotesque looking human things running slowly (bc water) in a circle while in the center there was a cluster of like 5 camels w/ ropes attached which the weird monster people were cirling around.... idfk!!! but the videographers had 360 cameras or whatever. i guess it ws a very dramatic part of the movie where they needed lots of different shots and angles ... and they made me join the people “actors” in the marshy water w/ the ribbon rope thing running slowly in circles almost like 3/4 submerged underwater .. and once they got their footage they packed up and left and there was a scene of them behind the scenes working w/ their footage and it was like rly bad quality i thought w/ like bright green grass and stuff and i was like were those even professional movie quality cameras? so the water draine and everything was back to “normal” 3 rd old me did a lot of more funny things too but idont remmeber... lastly. laaaastly.... the whole dream was pretty different... the house became a giant mario kart wii-esque race track but we were actually in the game bc it wasnt avideo game it was us actually in karts/bikes racing...it was me, some family, some others idk, and karen again. so we raced and it was crazy fun and a very wild fun map omfg... but it wasn all jusr racing it was a weird mix of so much. it went on for forever so many different obstacles and turns and tunnels and roomsand traveling and fun and not all by car. i was recoridng this too. oh yeah there was this one half-black guy who was like martin kinda and he was w/ me (& 3 yr old me?) on thejourney for some of the scenes....... there is sosososo much more to it you dont freaking know and neither do i now!!! forgotten!!! gone forever. oh well. too much to hold onto anyway. but it was so much more childhood stuff and wildness. but the game finished up around the last lap idk... back in race mode and there were these wario stadium-esque walls like a skate board slope ramp thingy... racinb up those,, get the speed boosts ont he ground, crazy,people neck-and neck, karen was like in th place but then she threw some chansey looking egg bomb thingy and hit 2 out of 3 people and they swerved and she raced toward the finish and won and was super happy and i got 6th place and she wanted us to watch the replay it was crazy too idk!!! actually it think we just re-watched the last 30 seconds where she threw the egg bombs and it was an aerial pov and it was hilarious to see the precision as they swerved out of the way and she sped thru the finish line lol.... might bve been some more stuff after this, and there was a shitton of more before all this and in--between. holy hell. but then i woke up and firgot it all. so the end. freakign. need a dream recorded. i swear to god. for real. holy. heck.

#2018

[mellifluousboarding]

Fallz

Adrian Carter

Adrian let out a soft sigh through his nose, lips pushed together in a frown. He sat down his cup and watched her for a second. It was a simple question. Nothing about Perrie had to be said, at least not in full detail. “I’m a psychologist, reading people is just what I do.” Lifting one shoulder in a shrug, he stepped back to lean against a counter. Adrian crossed his legs at the ankles and placed his palms against the edge of the granite. Before he answered her question, however, he let her finish talking. He waited until she had picked up her pencil and began to draw. Mostly because he was trying to think of what he would say. It would be easy to push her question off by using her own words. Too personal, but then again she had told him something about herself. It was vague but still something he hadn’t known before.

“Part of it is the kids,” he said, cocking his head to one side. “But I had a friend in school, too. She was schizo and no one was there to help her.” Adrian finished his sentence with a finality that he hoped made it clear the subject was over for talking about. One day, perhaps, he might tell her about some of it. Bailey seemed understanding, however even the best of people- no, especially the best of people left at any mention of ‘murderer’. “Just don’t get my bad side,” he said, hoping to lighten his tone. Adrian shifted slightly to the left, just a random choice. He hadn’t ever studied himself enough to know what side was his bad one, if there even was.

Maeve Harwood

“Um,” Maeve said, stepping back to allow the girl he’d called Kristi slip past. Their eyes connected for a brief moment and she saw in them a glisten. It took her a moment but after seeing Valentino’s pants slightly off-center, it came together. Bringing her hand up to her face to hide a smile, she dropped her eyes from the girl’s. Of course she’d heard plenty of rumors about the blonde-haired boy and his affinity with the female population of Mellifluous. Anyone with ears had. Once upon a time, she’d even been one of the masses in his following. Who wouldn’t be, honestly? It was only when she realized exactly how much of a man whore he was that her opinion on him changed. For the most part. 

She waited until the girl’s footsteps had faded down the hall before following Valentino inside his room. Crossing her arms across her chest, she watched him flip open the binder. “Our project,” Maeve began, taking a small peek around his room. She didn’t want to seem like she was being nosy about his business. “I have the picture- well, two, actually. I can’t decide so I’ll just let you do it.” After a second, she pulled the photos from the pocket of her sweatshirt and dropped them onto the open page of his binder. Maeve reached up to twist the piercing in her ear. “We can go for easy or hard, but that’s up to you.” With a shrug, she leaned back against his door, pointing to each picture as she explained which one was which.

Benji Melrose

Benji let his arms cross loosely over Martina’s bare back and let his head rest against the pillows behind him. He couldn’t fathom living his life without these moments with her. Before Mellifluous, he had never once thought he would fall in love with a student. It was just a cliché, a thing for the stories. If anything, Benji figured he would meet a fellow teacher, maybe one of the office assistants. As he looked up and watched Martina’s face crease into a smile, he was thankful to every God ever that she was so opposed to authority. “Someone is hungry,” Benji said with a small chuckle. He lifted his head and placed his chin on her head as she laid against his chest. Eyes closed softly, he shifted his hands as she sat up. Suppressing a smile as her hips circled over him. Benji had to bite the insides of his cheeks. He pushed his elbows behind him to sit up, chest meeting hers. “Listen here, little girl,” he said against her mouth. Pushing his lips against hers, Benji lifted one of his arms and wrapped it around her waist. After pulling her to him further, he sat up further. “You have a knack for starting things.” Benji titled his head back slightly and looked up at her. He tucked her hair behind her ears. “How about having brunch later instead?” He asked, raising one eyebrow.

Kaden Nett

Kaden stood at the door, holding the goldfish against his chest. He began to wonder for a second if maybe Summer was asleep. That was always his favorite thing to do when he was sick. She hadn’t been in the office that morning, he knew that much. Having to dance around Benji’s questions about Kaden’s scholarship, which is what he’d told the secretary he had to talk to Summer about, was quite awkward. In the end, he figured Benji probably guessed there was something else he’d wanted to discuss. There was no way he guessed there was something up, though. Kaden made sure he rarely frequented Summer’s office, he had just wanted to make sure she was okay after coming down with the cold.

When he finally heard her voice, though just barely, from inside, he pushed open the door and ducked inside. He kicked off his shoes and pulled his hoodie over his head. The maroon shirt underneath was dry, surprisingly. “Hey,” he said, spotting her on the couch. She looked awful. “I brought you a snack.” Kaden placed a package of the crackers in her lap and kissed her forehead as he stepped between the couch and the coffee table. Sitting down, he laid his head against the back of the couch and turned to look at her. His eyes flicked down her shirt and he smiled. “You spilled tea on me? How rude,” Kaden said with a pout. He could tell she truly didn’t feel good, which made him wish he was the one sick instead. Hell, his wish may have not been so far away after being drenched. His hair was still wet, small trickles of water running down his neck. Kaden picked up one of Summer’s blankets and draped it over his legs. “Is it getting any better?” He asked, pointing in the general direction of her face. “You don’t sound so hot.”

Collins Apa

Collins picked through her contacts, trying to think of anyone else. There had to be another piano player at Mellifluous who wasn’t already in a spot in the show. Had to be. Yet, as Collins continued to run around, asking everyone, she always got the same answer. “Have you tried the Perry boy yet?” Oh, she had, and she didn’t want to again. With a groan, she dropped her phone on the library table. A few people around her jolted from the noise and shot her irritated looks. She looked at the piece of sheet music in front of her.

“Might as well get it over with,” she mumbled to herself, standing. At least if it had to be James, she wanted to give him plenty of time to learn the piece. She already had the dance, so he just needed to do his part. It wasn’t really something that required they practice together, though it may have been at least helpful. As she walked through the halls, pulling her hair up in a knot on her head, she watched the storm outside through each window she passed. Since the morning, it had calmed slightly but lightning still struck and thunder shook the panes. Collins rather liked storms. She was so wrapped up in watching it that she almost missed her turn for the boy’s hallway. Only the sounds of gunshots and gaming warfare made her realize. Doubling back, she counted the doors until she reached almost the very last one. Ah, her destination. Taking in a deep breath, she raised her fist and knocked on the door several times.

Julian Monroe 

If things went south, he already had a plan. Which is why Julian had no second thoughts when he had originally pulled Violet to him, although she obviously did. He cocked an eyebrow when she said "they couldn't do this", like hooking up was so against the law. Julian was in his last year and Mellifluous, he wouldnt have another class with her. One more time, just to clear his mind, and he could handle seeing her in the hallways without the same warm rush he had that night at the bar. Of course, then he'd also been high on oxy. Everything felt like an out of this world experience on that stuff. Part of him also wondered if this music teacher was anywhere near as good as the drugs had led him to believe. If she was- well, he already knew. A senior.

When she repeated almost his exact mantra of the moment, and just life in general, Julian knew they weren't stopping again. And, God forbid if she pulled away one more time, he was walking out of that room like nothing ever happened to begin with. The silly games high school girls played irritated him beyond comprehension. He didnt understand shying away from whatever you felt for the sake of some old piece of advice that might have worked in the 60s. Julian didn't chase anyone, period.

Picking Violet up, he supported her weight by gripping the soft area right below her ass. Although there wasn't much weight there at all. Still light as a feather, so easy to throw around. He moved his lips away from hers and down her neck, nipping at the skin. They were surrounded by instruments so Julian stepped over a fallen violin, which tugged at his OCD, but he ignored it for the time being. Carrying her to a set of risers, he moved his hands so she would fall to the tallest row. It was about the same height as when he was carrying her, though. "Tell me now if you don't want to finish this," he said to Violet, standing back but not removing his hands from her hips.