#this changes everything MUCH TO CONSIDER

[riickgrimes]

Man of his word. It only took a couple of lifetimes. I was in love with my son's best friend. I didn't know what to do. Then you asked for that toothpaste. I was damned if I wasn't gonna find something.

#the walking dead #twd: the ones who live #the ones who live #towl spoilers #twdedit #towledit #richonne #richonneedit #michonne grimes #rick grimes #danai gurira #andrew lincoln #mine and only mine #just had the biggest smile on my face making this #HE FINALLY GOT HER THE TOOTHPASTE 😭😭😭 #and 'I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY SONS BEST FRIEND' #ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEEE #he was canonically already in love and aware of it by 6.10 #this changes everything MUCH TO CONSIDER

[chayannesegg]

something else about fit and tubbo’s relationship: it’s very special to me and they do love each other very much, but i do think this current tension was almost bound to happen not matter what. even without the tubbo homophobia. yes, tubbo self-sabotaged and made the situation current happen. yes, fit is valid to be upset at tubbo. but the unequal footing tubbo was reacting to is VERY real and something they BOTH built and something I think ONLY tubbo is fully aware of. 

while i don’t think fit and tubbo’s relationship is paternal at all, i do think it is heavily informed by the age difference. when they meet, tubbo is young, inexperienced, and reminds fit of his son. in contrast, fit is a stable older presence who knows the island secrets. their early dynamic is a bit like a mentorship: fit checks in on tubbo, tubbo asks about the island, fit decides what to tell tubbo, tubbo sees how someone with experience handles the island. 

losing the eggs only strengthens this pattern. tubbo is a mess and relies a lot on fit (and pac) to help get him through. fit is hurting too, but obviously he is not going to share all his fears with a teenager having a breakdown (that’s not how he operates, not when he can channel his emotions into something productive instead like checking on tubbo, pac, and the island). tubbo meanwhile strives to have walls as strong as fit's, but even if he won’t talk about it directly, his emotions bleed through a lot of the time anyway. so fit continues to check in on tubbo, and tubbo continues to let fit in and they grow closer because of it. we have lots of sweet moments in their friendship of tubbo letting fit see his vulnerabilities (about the eggs, with fred, about his day to day concerns) but we don’t see a lot of fit sharing his vulnerabilities. early on, fit makes it very clear to tubbo that tubbo has not earned the right to his secrets, and what he knows about the island, and what he does. fit visits tubbo and then leaves to go on secret jobs tubbo knows nothing about and can’t follow him to. tubbo doesn’t know anything about fit’s memories, or his resistance work, or his purpose. this was an initial source of tension between them, and while tubbo eventually decided to trust fit anyway, to this day, tubbo must be aware that he still hasn’t earned fit's full trust. and that fit, for all he knows tubbo’s problems, hasn’t shared many in return. the only exceptions to this that I can think of are 1) fit’s feelings for pac, which tubbo is privy to and while he teases fit, he is supportive of (which tubbo lost access to—at least in his head—when fitpac started dating, hence the acting out) and 2) fit coming to tubbo about the cats (which tubbo does NOT recognise as a moment of intimacy, that baffoon just laughs it off). i’m not blaming fit for this, as much as he loves tubbo, tubbo is an emotionally unstable teenager (turned young adult) whose bad at both secret-keeping and tact (and fit holds some very sensitive very dangerous secrets), but it definitely creates a lopsidedness in their friendship. 

especially because tubbo DOES respect this boundary of fit’s. while sometimes he pesters him for access to the office or insider info, he doesn’t seek fit’s personal business out behind his back really. meanwhile, the few times that tubbo has tried to keep something from them (kinda attempting to mirror fit’s own walls imo), fit and pac have gone behind his back to find out what it is. for example, them going to quackity’s house to investigate fred’s kidnapping without telling him, or them going and reading tubbo’s investigation room about the fed worker killings. now, i get why pac and fit—nosy and concerned as they are—do this, but it’s not great communication and it’s not a great show of trust.

all of this results in fit having a LOT of insight and access into tubbo’s life and insecurities and tubbo having comparatively little in return. and fit deciding how and when he interacts with tubbo and tubbo relying on fit to engage (lest he interrupt something secretive). they have all this restrictions and intricacies for how they interact and both of them have fed into this dynamic—it’s familiar and easy for both of them (fit isn't risking his secrets by trusting tubbo more, tubbo isn't risking rejection by asking for more)—even though their friendship has progressed and needs more balance. it worked ok for them for awhile bc they do both care for each other a lot, but it was NEVER going to be sustainable. any shift in dynamic that lengthened the distance between them would have unsteadied it.

but while tubbo is acutely aware of this tension and sensitive to it changing (and lashing out in response), fit has never really had to think about it. given the way they’ve interacted, fit’s own feelings have always been a bit separate from their friendship. it’s only now that tubbo's emotions/actions have hurt fit that fit wants his feelings acknowledged. he wants a more even dynamic, but he doesn’t realize that their friendship doesn’t feel like a “two-way street” because it never has been, almost by design. 

i don’t think tubbo has the experience or insight into fit’s emotions to realize what fit needs organically. i don't think fit can understand how his relationship with pac isolated tubbo even if he wants it to stay the same. i don’t think fit recognises the ways tubbo continues to show his trust in fit (like still inviting fit to follow him on the fred date or not investigating his secrets). i don't think tubbo understands why fit is upset with him (just that he is) or confidence to ask.

i don’t think either of them are going to properly explain their concerns to each other, if they have the words to properly explain it. all of this makes me think we’re only in for more fit & tubbo miscommunication in the coming weeks, but i DO think we still have hope. because these fools do love each other and pac (who I didn’t talk about much at all) & ramon & sunny (tho she’s also hurting) aren’t just gonna stand idly by while they continue to hurt each other.

#qsmp #qsmp fit #qsmp tubbo #listen i just think so much about them #have you considered that tubbo has let fit witness every aspect of his relationship with fred #have you considered that level of trust #this doesn't even get into how morning crew is changing as more people join that time slot #and how the fitpac date comes right at the time everything starts to change and tubbo is reacting to that as well #anyway WRITE THAT BIRTHDAY LETTER TUBBO!! #make it good!!!

[grishaverse-chaos]

following up on my post from earlier, I'd like to remind all darkl!ng stans that Nikolai faced all the same problems as king (in the kos duology) that the darkl!ng did, as well as several other new problems (the demon, having to find a wife, etc) and committed ZERO mass murders. your fav could never

#grishaverse #mayhem.txt #mayhem grishaverse originals #more was done for grisha rights and Ravka's problems in the kos duology than darkles EVER DID let's be real #and yes i have receipts on this btw #nikolai changed the little palace from compulsory military service to a SCHOOL!!! and made it OPTIONAL!!! again: your fav could NEVER #everything nina adrik + leoni did in fjerda!! the darkl!ng could never!!! #negotiating peace with shu han and fjerda!!! #anyways i am and always will be an alina stan first and foremost BUT i am considering becoming a nikolai fanblog to piss off darkl!ng fans #because honestly. he did so much more in TWO YEARS than the darkl!ng did in two MILLENNIA #nikolai lantsov #anti darkling #it WAS possible to fix Ravka's problems without committing any mass murders. the darkl!ng just chose violence at every possible opportunity

[good-beanswrites]

An 0309 drabble for an anon ask I got a bit ago :) Thank you for being patient, I really enjoyed writing this!! It's actually a little moment I've wanted to write since I started Milgram fic, but never got around to it. (I mention his injured eye, but don't actually describe anything)

“Stop moving around so much.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“I mean it. You’ll make things worse.”

Mikoto watched as the intensity in Fuuta’s gaze flickered between fire and fear.

He had a doctor’s kit laid out on his lap. Recently, Shidou had his hands full with Mahiru’s treatments and having intense conversations with Haruka, so Mikoto wanted to give him a break. With none of the injuries actually healing as they should, the prisoners were caught in an endless loop of changing bandages and checking for complications.

Shidou was grateful for the help. Many of the others tolerated Fuuta in the same way they spent only the necessary time around Mikoto. They smiled and placated him, acting like he’d gone mad all of the sudden. Whatever was making the others avoid the two of them, it drew the pair together. Mikoto was finding he enjoyed Fuuta’s company. Something about him was rather… charming. 

“Me? You’re the asshole that will make things worse. You’re no doctor! Fuck you.”

Eh, maybe he had gone mad. 

He took comfort, at least, in the knowledge that Fuuta was growing more comfortable with him. He sure had a special way of showing it, but Mikoto didn’t brag about being a people-person for nothing – he picked up on the way Fuuta sought him out during the day, pretending to be involved in his own activities. The way he struck up a conversation, then acted as if it had been Mikoto’s idea to come over and bother him. 

Therefore it was exciting, though not surprising, when Fuuta allowed Mikoto to help treat his injuries. They had only done it a few times, but today brought a whole new challenge. 

“I’m not performing surgery or anything. Shidou said it just needs some basic disinfecting.” He flashed his usual grin. “I have a steady hand – I’m a photographer, you know.”

Aside from Shidou, Fuuta hadn’t allowed a single person to look under his eyepatch. 

He remained unamused by Mikoto’s smile. For better or worse, he could always tell when it was forced. “It’s not like I have any proof of that. You could be awful at it, for all I know.”

“First chance I get, I’ll request a camera and prove it. Want me to take a picture of you first?”

“If you haven’t already messed up my face…” Fuuta’s focus was glued to the hand carefully reaching towards him. 

Mikoto pouted his lips. “Shidou trusted me enough with this. And you must have, because you agreed earlier. So If it’s not about me… You’re not scared, are you?”

There were some things that Fuuta didn’t stop to see through. He sputtered in surprise. “Hell no!” He lifted his chin, finally taking his attention off Mikoto’s hands. He stared defiantly. “I can take it.”

Mikoto felt a bit guilty for resorting to foul play. But not that guilty. “Good. Now hold still...”

He got right to it. One hand held ginger hair out of the way, while the other pinched the corner of the eyepatch. Fuuta’s good eye darted nervously around the room, avoiding the other's close-leaning face. Mikoto peeled it away swiftly, gently

As a horror movie buff, the injury didn’t faze him in the slightest. As someone who’d grown close to Fuuta recently, he felt a wave of anguish at the sight.

Fuuta squirmed. “It’s nasty, isn’t it…”

Mikoto reached down for some supplies. He considered mustering up a smile and saying there was no need to worry so much, but it would have been pointless. Times like these, it was kind of a relief when someone else could see right through him for a change. 

“It looks like it hurts.”

“Tch, I don’t need any pity from you.”

“I was going to say, you hide it well. You’re tougher than the warden gives you credit for.”

His cheeks flushed red. “I – I don’t need any flattery from you either!”

“Don’t need anything from anybody, huh?”

Before he could come up with a retort, he hissed through his teeth in pain.

“Ah, sorry.” Mikoto immediately retracted his hand from where it had been dabbing alcohol onto the injury.

Steeling his expression, he muttered, “it’s fine.”

Mikoto tried again. He made sure to move with even more steadiness, his face drawn up in concentration. He saw Fuuta’s features flinch when he touched him, but he stayed still. The two were silent, now, as Mikoto worked. Leaning his face so close made the short task feel much longer. The reddening in his cheeks didn't subside.

He expected Fuuta to snatch the fresh eyepatch away the moment he unwrapped it – he was shocked that Fuuta let him adjust it into place without a word.

“Alright. You’re all set.” He started packing up the kit.

“Listen, don’t tell the others. About my eye.”

Mikoto squinted. He gestured to the right side of his face. “I hate to break it to you, but the big patch kinda gives you away.”

“You idiot! I just mean, don’t tell them what it looks like.” He pulled his hood down over his hair. “I don’t need everyone trying to steal a look at it like I’m some sort of freakshow.”

“Hey, of course.” Mikoto gave him a smile, the kind they both knew was genuine. “I’ve got you.”

Fuuta nodded. He turned his face away, his fingers lingering over where Mikoto’s had just been. “... And… thanks.”

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #mikoto kayano #0309 #thank you so much for the request woo!!! #lmao it leans more 'serious intimate' than 'sappy romantic' - i hope thats okay #and yeah! i was actually planning to have a chapter in thermoregulation where yuno treated his eye #but every way i envisioned it wouldnt fit right with the tone of the whole thing #so ive been considering other characters and mikoto works So Well -- i was really glad to finally sit and write it out with him!! #its just... having someone as paranoid and ashamed as fuuta actually letting someone close enough to see/touch his most vulnerable injury.. #it Gets me man 😭😭😭 #and mikoto is also showing a very open side of himself - he has someone who trusts him despite everything thats going on with him/john #someone he doesnt need to preform for -- someone who truly trusts him #;--; #im torn between picturing the prisoners staying away from mikoto t2 or him self isolating while they all still really like hanging out #i went with the first option here but it changes depending on the fic LOL #anyway i hope you enjoyed!!!! #the two start out sitting really far apart and awkward but by the end of t2 with mikoto treating him regularly they start sitting like that #meme where the girl is putting on the others makeup LOL #drabbles #what if i keep procrastinating on school writing and i just write milgram fic forever and ever huh

[goldkirk]

I'm so proud of myself about finances in the past couple months. I still struggle with money but I did enough meditation and journaling and practicing about it to make myself able to actually face my loans and credit cards and savings and bills and start really truly organizing and addressing them for the first time in years instead of just flying by the seat of my pants.

Like. This is a huge deal for me. I've felt like I'm in deadly danger every time I've tried to think about money for years and years. I'm finally able to look it in the face and stare it down and start to organize and plan on purpose instead of just keeping up with the minimum to stay afloat. I'm so proud of myself.

It's still a refrain of "GUILT (funny link)" every time I think about money but I'm able to actually make spreadsheets and face the numbers and monthly tracking again, and even make a new full budget which I haven't been able to do in ages.

still feel guilt, overwhelm, and helplessness, but no longer feel as much deep elemental shame and terror. that's progress baby

#we don't need to talk about how many months and months of therapy visits and doctor appointments I put on credit cards #among other things #but I had to put my foot down about it a couple months ago and shout at myself a little saying HEY #I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM SHOUTING FOR YOU TO HEAR #OF COURSE IT WAS A TERRIBLE FINANCIAL DECISION BUT YOU WEREN'T EVEN EXPECTING TO BE ALIVE #THE CREDIT CARD DEBT WAS NECESSARY TO KEEP YOU ALIVE AND IT DID AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS WAY LESS IMPORTANT THAN THAT #why the FUCK are you feeling SO ASHAMED for making the best decision you knew how to make at the time??? #just because you know NOW that you could have tried some other options doesn't mean you did THEN #you may have known enough to feel shame and guilt yes but you would never in a million years have gotten the help you needed fast enough #by attempting to go another route #you didn't trust anyone besides a very few handfuls of people and even them it wasn't fully #and the stress of running it through parental insurance was so terrifying to you bc you didn't know what that would do #and you never had cosigners for anything your whole adult life. it's OKAY #you fucking DID YOUR BEST #YOU HAVE LEARNED. YOU HAVE MADE CHANGES. YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE BETTER #YOU WILL CONTINUE TO LEARN AND IMPROVE OVER TIME #it is not the end of the world. even the utilities sending you to debt collections etc etc #YOU ARE FIGURING IT OUT ONE PIECE AT A TIME #MORE PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED AND AFRAID OF THEIR OWN FINANCES THAN YOU THINK #if the people who fought and argued with and shamed you for considering student loans much less taking them out #had wanted you to actually be financially safer and healthier #they could have just fucking helped out or cosigned your loans or actively helped you find other solutions #instead of spending months and months telling you it was the worst decision ever and would ruin you financially for decades and such #you made the best decisions you could with the level of terror and knowledge that you had. it was enough to keep you alive. #isn't that enough? #isn't it a victory to survive?? isn't that enough?????? #god i'm cringing at sharing this but if it's been this hard for me surely at LEAST one of you has also made financial mistakes or regrets #and seeing me be honest that I fucked it all up too and it's a mess and I'm just climbing back through it as best as I can as I go #will hopefully make at least one of you feel a tiny bit less alone

[aroacettorney]

we talked a lot about how the incidents in delica absolutely broke ludger, but tbh, casey didnt come out of it unscathed either.

imagine how lonely you must have been to willingly travel to such a distant land just to see someone who was potentially like/similar to you. and when you thought you finally got a best friend who could understand you in a way that no one else could, they turned out to be something you would absolutely abhor with your entire existence. they gave no explanations. they bothered not with excuses. there wasnt even enough time for you to grieve what you just lost because they forced your hands to fight them in a death battle. without a word, they just simply vanished as if your friendship in the past few months meant absolutely nothing to them and you were left alone again, trying to navigate when and what went wrong all by yourself. there was a mix of burning hatred, betrayal, and sadness inside you, but there was no longer anyone for you to talk about it — no one that could understand it. you endured all those feelings for three years with no one to share while chasing after your old-best-friend-now-turned-archenemy for answers because they never gave you the closure you deserved.

even when you finally learned the truth, you realised that they had never trusted you nor your abilities enough to even consider working together. rather, they took on the most extreme measure and didnt hesitate to make you their biggest enemy all the while keeping all their troubles and pains to themselves. best friends, friends, friendly acquaintances, private detective and their client — it turned out that your relationship was neither of them. was it truly your one-sided assumption after all? or perhaps, was it because you failed them when you could have known better and done better? still wanting to keep believing that your companionship was once real, your guilt started gnawing on your conscience. not only you couldnt save them, but your inadequateness also doomed them to their worst fate possible.

then, the opportunity came. you finally mustered up all the courage to utter an apology. even though they acknowledged it, they made no intention to accept your peace offerings. they reminded, "our alliance is temporary". they stressed, "enemies are what we are destined to be". what a fool you were, trying to save a relationship that never existed. either that, or you had never truly been forgiven. they wanted nothing to do with you. they needed not saving by you. it wasnt a closure you wanted but its still a closure you got. in the end, you were left alone once more, with the knowledge of a possibility that you also might not be able to save them again this time.

#academy's undercover professor #academy's undercover professor spoilers #aro ludgercasey propaganda #selmore's undercover husband #this is caseys pov. to her ludgers true feeling is an enigma because he auto crits on deception. #ironically i think casey was/is much lonelier than ludger. #when she was bedridden for a month ludger seemed to be the only one who came for a visit??? (feral fans dont count) #what was marias even doing???? #ludger tends to think he is alone but he still has a lot of comrades openly caring for him. #even tho the delica incidents hit him hard he still at least had hans as his trusted emotional supporter. #meanwhile casey had to process everything by herself. there was no one holding her hands through it. #there is betty but i dont think she would be good at processing these complex and contradicting emotions that casey were having. #caseys going through the same thing ludger used to experience. the helpless feeling of not being able to save someone you most care about. #with the guilt eating her up under the right conditions she has the potential to become ludger 2.0. #personally i think the trigger would be ludgers self-delivered death. #it could break her for good considering how much guilt she already has over the delica incidents — the one event that changed everything. #anyway in conclusion casey also needs therapy. both of them need couple therapy.

[flamestar126]

Game Night with Douglas

Click for better quality

What happens after Douglas leaves for a second

rambling about their outfit in tags

#a dnd continuation! more like an excuse to redesign their outfits and throw in douglas with them #if you compare the gameover/wendigo art and this one it looks like they grew up lol #for mandark i wanted to stick with his original design but combine his two iconic outfits into one with a fantasy vibe :D #his collar and pants is how i tried incorporating it and i honestly love his white collar but kinda sad i didn't know how to add his tie #a ruby gem gifted by dexter was placed instead #the last robe looked like a hoodie so i changed it to fit his cape from his og design to have more black on the outfit and point up collar #tried to add as much M's i could without looking tacky such as the gold one underneath the ruby which is also detachable #that allows him to take off the robe with ease #there's also a hidden gold m near his collar if you squint #mandark has M spilt on the back with golden lining and underneath everything is a long tight turtle neck #he wears a vest inspired by his leotard patterns which i love that it was caught and earrings with his signature M dangling from his glasse #lastly his staff which is inspired by his gun it's very multipurpose and his crystal ball can be removed and emit magic particles #mandark was supposed to have his elvish print on his clothing but i couldn't find a language alphabet for it #for dexter he's completely inspired by his fusionfall counterpart #his lab coat is lined with golden accents and wanted to add tech to his outfit so i add metal and circuit shoulders to honor his lab itself #the mirror of the shoulders is detachable and multi purposed such as a storage area and communication device similar to mandark's staff #i figured i'd keep the leather like previously for mobility and comfort compared to pure metal shoulders #he keeps a potion near his side for emergencies #then there's his necklace “MD” in dwarvish #i brought his wrench which wasn't considered much last time #dexter can press the button in the middle and quickly expand and vise versa for portability #quite honestly i gave douglas a basic outfit since i don't think he stands out in a fantasy world #his outfit is inspired by his originial clothes too mostly the colors #he does have a lil quirk of engraving D into things like puss in boots #sorry i made you basic human archer douglas LOL #im happy with it it literally took days researching and careful consideration of their designs haha #dexter's laboratory #dexter's lab #dexdark #flame draws

[teplejtrouba]

i won this competition thing at school which was a surprise and i didn't really mean to or care for winning. but sure they liked my design. why not. they want to give me money. great. but now i have to deal with my deadname being plastered all over the place and i sent an email to the company (that chose my design that they're going to make and sell) like hey im going to be changing my name Very soon would it like. be possible to use the new name when talking about me :-) and they answered that it's not possible (i get it if it was for like legal reasons idk) but their wording was very... ??? 'you won the competition as *deadname* so it wouldn't be right to change it' im sorry what. what does it mean it wouldn't be right. what. why. I'd understand if they wouldn't change it for the booklet if they already have them printed out (i did ask if they do. they didn't answer), fair, i get it, that's your money. but they straight up have a whole paragraph on their website that talks about me that she/hers me extensively (i haven't discussed that with them yet i only learned about it yesterday. like bestie that can't be that hard to change). wtf is a mladá umělkyně I'll kill you

#i didn't expect to win at all because i wasn't at the final presentations of the works. Because i didn't want to be misgendered #the teacher who mainly deals with the company is a transphobic ass who hasn't correctly gendered me Once this entire year so #why 😭 i don't want to lose the money but im very much considering just not signing the contract with them #if they don't at least change/remove that thing from their website #this is a completely random very personal vent post about thing one thing that's stressing me out so much currently #i have no idea how things like this work tho so i basically have to trust them with everything they say and just hope #that it's really not possible for serious reasons and not just because someone at that company can't be bothered/is transphobic #I'll officially have a new name in.. possibly two weeks. the thing doesn't come out till may #my friends are like 'you have to deal with this!!! it's not fair“ like honey have you considered im stupid and scared of conflict

[puppyeared]

#UAUHGG im havung oc thoughts. plaguing myBRAIN. i can feel my heartrate spiking holy shit #ok so. i rly wanna touch up presto and shuffles story without scaring myself out of it by overthinking it. esp the implications of #them having animal features and what they would eat. as well as worldbuilding character dynamics setting background characters ugghh. #constantly have to tell myself its just for fun. basically theyre rival magicians who keep their identities secret and fuck it up in #the funniest way possible LMAO. they rent the same apartment and the landlady accidentally gives it to both of them without them knowing #so they end up walking in on each other out of costume and have this weird tension around not revealing each others identities despite thei #borderline malicious rivalry. blackmail may or may not be involved i havent decided yet #they DO consider backing out of tenancy but they decide not to so they can make sure they dont reveal each others identities #thats the idea but its really abstract bc i dont have a direction or writing in mind. they just rattle in my head like spare change #other stuff i have rn is. they both consider each other a copycat and they have the same skill level of magic #but they have different styles and techniques theyre just too focused on outperforming each other to notice #presto likes to make people laugh so they probably include gags and impossible feats. shuffle is more elegant and focuses on #smooth movements and dangerous stunts. i want to make that reflect in their costumes but its hard bc stage magician costumes tend to stick #to suits and capes.. so idk. then maybe side characters like the landlady and other tenants but i havent given em much thought orz #i really should practice with concepts because i have a bad habit of making everything similar to the first try so its frustrating #and i suck at writing characters. but im doing this for fun so im trying not to get hung up on whether its generic or not #yapping #stares at the floor. maybe i should make a carrd for my ocs #oc talk #presto #shuffle

[shewhoeatssand]

which tokyo ghoul characters do y’all think would smell interesting

#tokyo ghoul #Shironeki’s body smells like way too much deodorant but if you lean in close to his scalp and take a wholesome whiff you will realize #he smells faintly of rotten eggs #Naki would smell weird too I think he’d reek of cheeto dust but nobody knows how or why considering he is allergic to everything in cheetos #Koma smells like baking powder and cleaning chemicals #but with a faint guess of careless whisper flavoured perfume #Hide smells like questions that can never be answered #he definitely smells like Something but you really cannot pin down wtf it is #and it doesn’t help that it changes with the wind

[aria0fgold]

Hmmmmmm I think some is wrong with my copy of OMORI

#aria rants #OKAY i posted this before but then i looked at siffrin and i was like: i can do his hat justice than this... so i deleted post #to edit the sprite i made so i can make the hat look way better and now it actually does look better! #tbh i dont know what to tag this. i just thought: what if siffrin sprite but in omori sprite style? so i made one #that sprite was a lil bit of a struggle cuz i dont know much bout pixelart and my first attempt was a mess cuz i accidentally #made it waaay too tiny (like i didnt know you can change the pixel size for the brush and i ended up using the 1 pixel one...) #is this considered a sprite edit??? i think it is??? tbf i used omori's sprite (like the overall height and everything) so ig it is?

[northern-passage]

Oh that's my bad, I'm sorry. I completely forgot we possibly killed soldiers on our way to fight Duncan. I think mine did. Definitely.

It's going to be interesting to see our Hunter deal with having that innocence stripped from them, and how it''ll evolve and change them, for good or ill.

If we fight more humans down the line there's a strong chance the Hunter will realise that it's easier killing them than it is monsters. I'm sure that won't affect the Humanity system too much or anything...

yes the hunter is going to be maturing quite a bit throughout the events of the game in more ways than one. of course they've been on the receiving end of violence & are very aware of the attitudes some people have (and they're aware of the inequality between the north and the south and in places like blackwater) but they've lived in the north most of their life and have focused much of their time on just surviving. so it'll be interesting as they travel with these new companions and see their new perspectives, along with the escalating tensions within Adrania and with Gael, too.

#it sounds silly calling the hunter naive or sheltered but it's more like.... #they just have the 'it is what it is' attitude #whereas people like merry and noel are very much of the belief that they can change things if they fight back #which is just something the hunter has never considered before as an option #the realization of 'oh! i can do something about this actually. things should be better actually' #also i believe there's a line in some variations where the hunter thinks killing humans is just the same as killing everything else #which is what disturbs them so much.... #and just a caveat to make it clear that the hunter won't have the option to become like a ruthless killer lol #and killing soldiers in that fight doesnt currently effect your humanity or anything since it's not a choice #ask #anonymous

[bumblebeehug]

i'm literally never leaving 14 mentally. i'm exactly the same, only now i know how to cope in public

#when i was 14 i was seriously depressed and i craved so much attention bc i felt like i was wrong in so many ways #so if i got attention i would finally be considered right #except i was making everyone uncomfortable with my pityparty (everyone was 14 at the time - how could i expect them to live up to my needs- #-> all of the time) #anyways i still crave the attention and i still feel out of place and weird but now i've learned how to live a little so i don't try to -> #-> overthink as much and instead go with the flow most of the time #but then there's moments like these where i cant help but to wonder if someone's opinion of me changed after i said something weird #and when i'm in this state i feel so lost on what to do bc i know attention would satisfy my seeking needs #but if i constantly bring down the mood everything gets weird and idk. life is hard and becoming 1 with nature would solve it all

[bylertruther-moved]

will says that el has a book of letters from him because he’s just pointing out that they kept in contact regularly whereas he and mike didn’t but somehow mike interprets that as if will was implying there should be something romantic between them too and it stumps will bc that’s not what he meant at all and he doesn’t realize yet why mike is actually so mad or who he’s mad at, and while we clown mike for being oblivious i think will is oblivious too bc this isn’t the first time mike’s done that and yet. will doesn’t question it. he never does and they never talk about it. he just continues with what he’s saying about how they used to be best friends. they never talk about the fact that when will fights to salvage their friendship mike talks about it as if it was more than what it was and as if continuing as they were would get between his relationship with eleven. which implies that he himself feels that their relationship is inappropriate if he wants to date eleven concurrently and explains why it’s the only friendship within the party that seriously falls apart and why will is the only party member that he completely changes his behavior n actions towards and why he’s the only party member that he no longer touches once he dates eleven. which again also explains why after they start dating it’s only when eleven isn’t around that he allows a softer, more open and present mike to reappear around will. it’s just like. why would he do any of that if he’s not projecting? will is literally the one with a canonically confirmed interest in him and yet he’s mad at the roller rink because will is ignoring him [or so he thought at that point]. he’s not mad that eleven lied. he’s not mad at what those bullies did to her. he’s mad that will didn’t talk to him. he’s so mad and hurt by will that he doesn’t even console his girlfriend who was encircled, taunted, and had a milkshake thrown on her all on tape. he stays by will’s side despite everything, even when she’s fidgeting and crying to the side of them. to top it off he even makes a passive aggressive bitchy little comment at dinner afterward because he’s still. mad. at. will. will is the one that ruined his day. not those bullies being cruel to el, but will. it clouds his vision so much that he can’t even pretend or begin to attempt to entertain the idea of being there for her when she so clearly needs him. how does anyone fucking watch any of that and not get what’s going on. HOW????

#byler #YOUR GIRL JUST GOT BULLIED SEVERELY AND YET YOU'RE MAD AT THE BOY WHO USED TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND? #WILL IS SAYING THAT YOU NEVER TALKED TO HIM AND SOMEHOW YOU THINK HE'S SAYING YOU NEED TO TREAT HIM LIKE #YOU TREAT ELEVEN? SOMEHOW YOU THINK HE'S TALKING ABOUT WANTING MORE THAN JUST FRIENDSHIP? #WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THINKING IT YOURSELF... WHEN WILL HAS NEVER ONCE MADE A MOVE ON HIM #OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT......... #MAKE IT MAKE HETEROSEXUAL SENSE IT JUST DOESN'T IT DOESN'T IT DOESN'T IT DOESN'T 🤯🤯 #will NEVER implies anything romantic between them he NEVER does and yet MIKE the one with a girlfriend is the one that ALWAYS #ALWAYS ALWAYS MAKES THAT THE TOPIC OF THEIR CONVERSATION! he's the one that brings it up! he's the one that rejects will #when will isn't even making any kind of offer!!!!!!!!! #why would he do that if that isn't something that he feels! that he thinks about! that he's projecting onto will! #this is such a clusterfuck this is liek . this shit is more complicated than the fucking vecna plot at this point tbh #none of them know where the other is they're literally all in different fucking worlds my GODDDDDDDD #will is oblivious. and if he let himself realize what mike is doing and actually face it he would put mike on the spot about it. #mike's friendship is more than enough for will. it's enough to just have mike in his life. meanwhile mike is the one that refuses to see it. #he refuses to let himself even consider it which is why he puts that onto will and refuses to face the world around him. #he doesn't want things to change. we knew that in season three and we ESPECIALLY know that now. jesus christ.. #so much is happening in this show. #it's just insane to me tht mike has such a big heart and he cares abt the people he loves nd would protect them with his everything #and when el gets bullied like that.... he just... he's focused on will. because of-fucking-course he is. he's angry at will because #he doesn't want things to change but will's existence in his life will himself is enough to bring forth change in mike that he's scared #to accept. for whatever reason. because why is he constantly doing that? making things romantic? it's not will. it's HIM. #why can't you be his friend and continue to date eleven when you can do the same with everyone else? why is it JUST will? #why do you think that he's propositioning you whenever he talks to you about your friendship? #i'm telling you: it makes no heterosexual sense. #my thoughts #my posts

[katyspersonal]

Okay okay I will stop talking about it I promise, but it is hard to explain how much strain, weight, fear and stress I've been under over one particular problem for a few months, and how strange the means of my liberation from it were. I've spent the whole week, or even more, crying, and I've fallen into extreme self-doubts and guilt. This time it was too much to bear and I wondered if I was in the wrong after all.

But like.. just very specific words and attitude removed ALL of that weight in a flash. Not only I felt much easier and free, but also I saw with my very eyes that I WAS right, I WAS in the right place and DID the right thing. I can't describe this. I knew that I would feel better and move on if I open my heart, but I didn't know in which way. Like.. imagine grabbing a saint (affectionate) from the local church (derogatory) trying to speak and getting "Oh wait no you haven't sinned, we just don't want heretics walking near our pure place 👍". It is like, disappointment and loss of all self-doubts that escalated for months, but also relief from fear and perceived hatred that kept sipping my HPs like a permanent status effect. And confidence in my purpose. I feel like I just can't share about it in a way that makes sense, but I experience genuine relief from pain and self-doubts so rarely that I can't keep it inside. It was a quick hurt to heal the permanenthurt, you know, kinda like how fixing a broken shoulder requires wild pain but it's quick? This was the biggest HUMANITY RESTORED moment I've had in a long while.

#personal #no context #vagueblogging #also no I won't stop making BB comparisons lol #this fandom is basically the healing church (the 'cool kids' that try to be leaders of the fandom- #-way too hard) the scholars (neutral/friendly quiet guys just doing their thing but- #-very often intersecting with the church) and the vilebloods (the rebels that say stuff church hates but- #-tend to attract most of the scholars ghjgjgj) #(ironically this division also perfectly matches the characters which factions tend to love) #this is way too funny to the point I can't stop describing things this way even in BAD situations #let alone the closest to good news Ive had in a while #(I am a very miserable person don't mind me) #like.. I knew I'd feel easier I just didn't know by what means #but yes I needed it. I know it doesn't sound flattering considering the “disappointment that heals” but- #-it really isnt it and isnt personal. it is just that everything FINALLY felt into right places. instantly. #and I still think he is kind as much as he could be my opinion hasn't changed

[opheliabf]

torn between hcing richard papen as a moc or as white. on the one hand just like me fr and it could add an interesting layer to the story considering the greek class's racism which goes hand in hand with their classism and could be a good way to explore the intersections between race and class on the other hand a lot of the interactions between the characters would be very different when viewed under the lens of race (e.g. richard's lusting after camilla) and richard is insulated from the others' bigotry in the book through his facade of wealth which would not be possible if he wasn't white, therefore changing the group dynamics heavily. would he even be able to get close enough to the others to play the role that he does if he wasn't white? much to ponder

#richard papen #tsh #the secret history #wait maybe he could be white-passing? #everything would change so much if he wasn't white #especially considering how much the humanities (esp classics) are white-dominated fields #can't wait for my (physics and) philosophy degree :) and all of the white people :) #sam.txt