#this is an INCREDIBLY stupid headcanon like yes i'm aware

[bruciemilf]

My favorite Damian headcanons (as a POC myself) are the ones where he does POC things that're incredibly niche but also very widespread POC experiences

Commenting on how horror movies have no realistic people of color because otherwise they'd last less than ten minutes.

Responding with "is it because I'm not white" to every single criticism.

Bruce tries to get him to wear a suit and he's like "😐 I can't believe you're erasing my culture like this".

Jason calls him a demon and he tells Bruce Jason called him a slur because of where he comes from.

Refusing to try anything American he doesn't like because "I was raised with actual class".

Assuming it's a lie when Bruce says he can be whatever he wants in the future because come on now. He isn't a fool.

Saying American food is bland because he's used to food that scorches his tastebuds

Not believing in God but using religious phrases, calling his siblings faithless/godless when they annoy him, and rejecting atheism thoroughly because religion is a huge part of POC culture.

Saying "I would've been sent back to the Motherland for that behavior" whenever his siblings act out of line. It's not even necessarily true, but it's genuinely just a reflex

Joking about being beaten as a child because it's a POC bonding experience and backtracking when people freak out because no he wasn't actually hit (only a rap on the knuckles every now and then and the usual POC mother verbal abuse), it's a joke, he was joking.

Doing something dumb like sneaking out and halfway through realizing "oh my God this is white person behavior. I'm being whitewashed" and getting himself back in line

Automatically responding with "aren't you mixed?" to "yeah, but not mixed with stupid like you are"

Being awed and slightly disturbed on how much people just get away with in predominantly white homes

Being the "well behaved child" even with his bad temper because yes, he's spoiled, but he's also fully aware that he won't get away with half the shit he does if he was with his mother and enjoys his still-new freedom

^ And these are some of the general POC experiences, not to speak of the Arab-specific ones! People need to give this boy more POC trauma!

I LOVE THESE!! am not a POC so I don't have much to add; I do, however, love making fun of white people, and I'm passing that off to Damian. He sees Steph eat like, greek yogurt, and is like "i had no idea you liked spicy food. Getting adventurous, are we?"

#asks #DAMIAN SUPREMACY

[shopcat]

hehe re: your tags, what about yue/katara?

omg hi i'm sleepies so i probably won't get too much into it character-wise probably. i will simply say before anything else☝️i know ppl mostly hold the belief that katara is straight and that there some uncomfortable pitfalls people can find themselves in when (esp white) lgbt people paint indigenous characters lgbt in order to be able to "relate to them" and dismiss the character's worth and indigeneity through what is i suppose fandom pinkwashing + dismissing the sexuality of indigenous/native/first nations women, which i do try to be aware of and avoid entirely, bc i think by and large this happens when ppl apply these headcanons without any sort of actual nuance or thought and treat every hc as the same sort of formula to follow (like, character is x so i like them "now", etc). katara has as much worth and depth as a character let alone as an indigenous woman when she's straight as she would if she wasn't which is something people tend to struggle with and handle badly or ignorantly. (and yes, on the other hand, lgbt indigenous representation is just as important to uplift, but i mean when it's done with ignorant intention!).

with katara in particular i DO think she is probably straight and (FOX FACT) she was one of my first crushes when i was little as in like 8-9 and was Also a girl and did NOT know how to handle that and she was also just my favourite character in general so her being some flavour of lgbt+ is very fun for me in particular, but regardless of that i do think her being bi or something would be relatively sweet if handled normally. (also funnily bc of this i also hated sokka when i was little bc i thought he was mean to her LOL .. 😭)

secondly stealing your brother's girl before he even got to date her is HILARIOUS ❗️❗️but in all seriousness 🤓☝️ i think the situation of yue being, you know, sokka's first love who tragically died deserves to sort of like, keep that... gravitas? and as a significant part of sokka's narrative at the time is to do with handling her death in particular, specifically because, Obviously, he loved her, i think respecting that is first and foremost for me as much as i joked about how they barely dated so it's not as comparable as katara dating suki for example, lol (though i do think it's different just bc of like, how it's actually different, e.g. yue is dead, suki was his long term girlfriend).

BUT none of this means it's entirely impossible either bc obviously like i said i've thought about it and i do find it cute ^_^ and i think their dynamic would honestly be really fun, more so on YUE'S side for reasons i shall elaborate on in a second. obviously in this world in order for ANY of them to still have a relationship of any kind, yue would either somehow still be alive, have never have died in the first place, or it's a different world entirely and their initial meeting was different from the beginning. (this of course changes the inherent tragedy of her and sokka's relationship, and makes it less of a potentially weird or at least incredibly dramatic scenario, as well). each of these have their own merits and to be honest i am obsessed with canon divergent different first meetings that change the outcome of the later story i eat that up every time and am honestly constantly thinking about ways things could change from something small like say... katara sitting by yue instead of sokka. heh...

to me yue and katara are i wouldn't necessarily say foils of one another, but i do think putting them side by side draws a lot of significance to the surface. i will NOTTT ever be someone to be like the NWT/water tribes in general are HORRIFICALLY SEXIST because i think that is well, fundamentally stupid, and racist, but for the purposes of what i'm talking about i do think the different aspects of misogyny relevant to both of their characters and story at the time of their meeting is important and interesting to compare. i think yue being able to sort of catch glimpses of what it is to be a normal teenage girl with sokka and slip the responsibility on her shoulders for a short while clearly meant a lot with her and helped her forge her bond with him in the first place, someone who i think like with suki not only say, BALANCED their different personalities out, but was able to bring a more joyful authenticity out of her if not just some basic fun and shenanigans. i think it's important that they meet in book 1 even if it's on the tail end of it, relatively early in the gaang's journey and respective narrative arcs and therefore sokka's as well, bc it shows he ISN'T quite the same person he is in say, book 3, when the gang are missing the lightness and fun he brings to their interactions and he's still learning this himself and they're in a way drawing it out of each other.

anyway. i think it's fair to say yue is maybe not a buttoned-up person, but fairly serious at times or at least keeps her cards close to her chest. i think katara being someone who speaks her mind freely and proves herself to be tenacious and stubborn and LOUD and like, kind of annoying, above all generally awesome, and FULLY a Teenage Girl, would be a really fun mesh with her at this time for the same reasons sokka was, if not even more so tbh. honestly yue is again one of my favourite characters, behind sokka and zuko she is a solid and unchanging number 3 for me. i think yue is someone who values duty (a common theme in these characters, lol) and responsibility, and while katara is someone who DOES, technically, admire/share in this (obviously, as someone who has been responsible in part for her tribe and family for years, and particularly now while they've only got each other), she is also someone who sees someone doing what they Think they should be doing and she personally sees as unfair or wrong and blows her fucking lid. i would honestly just love in general to see a yue/katara friendship let alone a relationship of some kind, but like w/anything friends -> in love isn't a leap for me lol so it can be both truly... i think they'd bring out a lot of good in each other!!

i also do occasionally ponder how yue is a nonbender, yet a princess, as well as being not only spirit touched but by the spirit who... is the very source of waterbending. while i think this is actually very cool thematically i do often think about how strange it is logistically, and also think about how bending is in part to do with a willingness to do so, and the concept that yue COULD be a bender and just not realise. katara kidnapping a princess and teaching her to bend would be SO GOOD. to me. i also once had an au i scrounged up where yue was a bender and obviously just learned healing, but due to being again blessed by the spirit of WATERBENDING and having that connection w/the spirit world at all, her healing is quite literally insane and she essentially becomes an atlaverse necromancer. because i think that's awesome. other than that, yue learning to fight in general would be very cool and i think katara would fall over backwards trying to help even if she also knows basically nothing about nonbending fighting lol. they would fall on their asses Together <3.

i do also suppose the conflict and tension point of sokka clearly having feelings for yue could be something to be rattled around if u were into that. personally i do enjoy conflict but not soul crushing drama and ultimately in My world which is a beautiful world sokka has either already come to terms with it/moved on long ago bc it's been a while or i suppose just one of those au's where he never did feel that way in the first place. but tbf it's not like katara (or yue) would necessarily know that so it could still be a something or other.

ultimately yeah i just think yue being this dutiful princess figure who loves her people but does clearly yearn for more and is a person willing to make huge sacrifices for people and katara coming in and being someone who openly and authentically goes for what she wants even if she's being held back by certain factors that yue would be intimate with is well mwah. i enjoy it. a big draw for most atla pairings of any kind to me is them having the ability to just Be Young together and i think these two definitely deserve this, katara in particular! she is a very silly sweet character and i love whenever she tries to joke around, and i think her particular brand of being sarcastic or catty would make yue go >:0 and she would love it. ohhhhh they would eviscerate people together...

yue being a relatively sheltered figure who yearns in some way for a sense of freedom from it and therefore struggles with respecting and committing to the connection to her tribe and the responsibility she has for her people as their princess, and katara coming in as someone from their far-away, lost contact sister tribe, a relative important political figure in her own right to boot, representing not only this chance to grab at freedom and what you feel is right but the added layer of them both being women could have been a really cool angle for the narrative to contort to! also sokka AND katara pulling a prince and a princess of two different nations would be well funny as fuck.

#asks #i lied i got a bit much into it didnt i #THANK you guys for these asks btw it actually means so much to me LOL i love talking about this and i'm so grateful anyone ever wants to #hear what i have to say even if it's like six people. #^_^ #*this SHOW i mean #so awesome and dunky donut #also ill be honest i only ever thought abt these two bc of that one fic where they're a background established relationship .. loved it #but again i see everything in every which way and the dynamic being platonic doesn't necessarily take away from it #☆ #atla #yuetara

[theweirdestroller]

Headcanons Pt 3 - Sorting

So, this is how it's going to go; I'm gonna list a Sans, their Hogwarts house, and why they're there and not elsewhere. I know houses are subjective, but I don't care. It's a fun activity I do with fandoms to familiarize myself with the characters. What traits would place them where, and which would make them seem out of place. How would relationships work across houses? How would they react to being sorted? All that jazz. Starting off with the Gang

Nightmare's Gang:

Horror: Hufflepuff

Was so close to being sorted into Gryffindor. He would have been uncomfortable there, but reckless abandon and pure determination are practically the only two things you need for that house. Both of which he has. He would take a bullet for his friends but would struggle when being put in a situation as a leader. This house also sits closer to the kitchens, so he'd feel right at home. I feel his character too soft and squishy to be sorted elsewhere. (Yes, I am aware of his past, but in a sympathetic Nightmare's Gang, where he'd be allowed to grow and recover, he just becomes a giant teddy bear, leave me alone!!)

Killer: Ravenclaw

Despite his stunning lack of awareness or book smarts, Killer would likely be sorted into Ravenclaw. I find that most of my sorting activities have a prankster character or two in this house. There is a level of cunning needed to pull off more elaborate pranks. He would not like this. Ravenclaws are nerds, he is not a nerd. That aside, he is still somewhat into science like most Sanses seem to be. As much as he is to rush into battle, he tries to at least have some semblance of a plan.

Dust: Ravenclaw

This sorting takes advantage of Ravenclaw stereotypes, Dust being book smart and skilled enough to be Nightmare's right hand. A strategist. He teetered on the edge of ending up in Slytherin, but his lack of wanting to lead on his own keep him out. As well as the fact that he prefers to be quiet, not speaking up even when it might be more necessary. He also has the makings of a Hufflepuff, with his unwavering loyalty and general friend-shaped-ness, as prickly as he may be.

Cross: Gryffindor

The Hufflepuff-iest Gryffindor to ever exist. Sir wants to be a side character but the world won't let him. He wants to follow Nightmare, protect his friends/found family, and will do anything to make that happen. As it is, he's also fairly ambitious, a great leader when the need calls for it, and so self-sacrificing that that one trait alone would have landed him here anyway.

Nightmare: Ravenclaw

A Gryffindor-leaning Raven if you will. Again, he falls into the traditional book smart category of this house. His wit allows him to lead, but he's not dumb enough to run into a battle unprepared. He has a right hand to act as a second opinion, making sure everything is tactically sound. He would kill and die for his found family and they are the only people who would make his reckless enough to make him a Ravenclaw-leaning Gryffindor. He has a handful of Hufflepuff traits, being loyal to a fault and a bit more trusting than one might expect for someone with his past.

Error: Slytherin

The first and only of the Gang sorted here. Despite not being the most morally bankrupt character out there, he finds his sorting helps with his job. He obviously keeps the people he cares about close, but anyone beside them can rot. It's his job to destroy things so the world doesn't collapse on itself, he can't afford to care about much. He is also incredibly ambitious, but not stupid enough to think his goal is an easy one.

Star Sanses:

Ink: Slytherin

The main reason for this sorting is the lack of emotions. Even with them, he is chaotic. He has a small group of friends that he keeps close. His goal is a lofty one, creating to maintain the balance. But he oft creates too much, leaving Error to deal with it. Quite impatient, but also silly and cunning. Cannot look before he leaps and refuses to try, a trait that is scarily common in Slytherins and Gryffindors.

Dream: Hufflepuff

Despite the lack of side character vibes, this man does not want the spotlight. He's Cross if Cross ended up in Hufflepuff. Slightly Gryffindor-leaning. He's a charismatic leader type, but his strengths are in his loyalty and friend-shaped-ness. He's also not as reckless or brash as Gryffindors or their scaley counterparts. Prefers to stay out of the action when possible and would only fight for others.

Blue: Gryffindor

As stated prior, Blue is the only Gryffindor of the Stars. He has all the makings of a classic Gryffindor hero, minus the reckless abandon. He is great at leading and properly motivated. Perhaps a bit self-sacrificing, but that's par for the course. He tends to get drawn into battle whether he likes it or not and will not stand very any injustice. He has a rigid moral compass and is very honest. Since Blue is also a model friend, he also is quite Hufflepuff in design. Love this guy.

If I didn't make it obvious through all that, Gryffindor and Slytherin are houses that lack the ability to fear. And that's not a good thing. Perfect for heroes, but anyone else? Not so much. I'm a Huffpuff, and the more I favor a character, the more likely they are to end up in that house. I think it's just because I like those kinds of characters, but Dream is an outlier in this situation. I feel like all the Slytherins and Gryffindors are somewhat interchangeable, given how close those two houses seem to be. I also refuse to change my stance on Ravenclaw Killer. The lack of braincells that he has active at any given time makes the sorting funny, but he does use them sometimes, which is why he's there.

If you want to see what I have to say about certain Sanses, you can always request them. I'm likely going to stop after Pt 4, in which I'll be covering the remaining CQ bros, Ccino, Crop, Reaper, and maybe TK and Lust.

#headcanon #nightmare's gang #star sanses #hogwarts houses #hogwarts sorting #horror #killer #dust #cross #nightmare #error #ink #dream #blue

[auroral-melody]

I can't wait to see Crowley's eyes, either! Part of me, though, really hopes we DON'T see them until his glasses are knocked off in the burning bookstore. I think this was when they were revealed for the first time in the book, and it's super dramatic and badass. (I'm sending this as an ask bc the post you mentioned his eyes in was already pretty long)

I agree!! That scene is incredibly important and quite a bit of a reveal. I’ve actually been meaning to talk about this. Here’s a sketch to help visualize:

Poor kiddo.

I wouldn’t say he’s exactly badass here; actually I rather feel the exact opposite, but it’s an incredibly powerful scene. I have a lot of Thoughts on this, so more under the cut.

Throughout the entirety of the book, Crowley is hyped up to be ~super cool~ and suave, anxious at times but usually under control. Similarly, Aziraphale is shown to never swear. The points when these characters break that trend means heightened emotions - for Aziraphale, it’s a bit of comedy; for Crowley, it shows how truly scared he is, because the buildup is slight things throughout the book (Aziraphale’s “oh dear,” not swearing with the practiced ease of someone who has spent six millennia not swearing, and wasn’t going to start now).

Crowley is doing okay - stressed, scared, yes, but he’s getting somewhere when he runs out of his flat. After that, he doesn’t know what to do, so he goes straight to Aziraphale’s place and runs inside, shouting for his friend like never before. Let’s look at this scene.

“Then he pushed open the door, and stepped into an inferno.

The whole bookshop was ablaze. Aziraphale!’ he called. ‘Aziraphale, you - you stupid - Aziraphale? Are you here?’

No answer. Just the crackle of burning paper, the splintering of glass as fire reached the upstairs rooms, the crash of lapsing timbers.”

The imagery here is intense and sets up the drama. His repetition of the angel’s name goes through several emotions. First, it’s just calling. After that, he’s frightened. He sort of half-insults Aziraphale, not knowing what to do, and asks if he’s here. At this point, he’s just trying to hear the angel’s voice in response, and he would immediately rush to help if he heard it. [I’m definitely writing that, heck.]

He scanned the shop urgently, desperately, looking for the angel, looking for help.

In the far corner a bookshelf toppled over, cascading flaming books across the floor. The fire was all around him, and Crowley ignored it. His left trouser leg began to smolder; he stopped it with a glance.

“Hello? Aziraphale! For Go - for Sa - for somebody’s sake! Aziraphale!”

Repetition in sentences, I’ve found, helps heighten the emotions, because it’s all the character can think of. In the first bit, he’s equating Aziraphale to help. After all, he did rush here to see if they could stop the Apocalypse; he did call him immediately post-delivering Adam. Crowley is very clever. He’s killed Ligur and evaded Hastur, and he can get to Tadfield on his own with ease. He invented many things. It’s a rare time when he’s out of ideas. Even when he’s confronted by Hastur, he’s thinking fast and manages to get out of it. But now, he’s hunted and scared and has way more problems than he started with.

He’s basically here because he’s scared out of his mind, and having Aziraphale around is comforting to him. He thinks Aziraphale will know what to do, because he sure doesn’t.

He’s not particularly afraid of fire - he’s afraid of facing all of this alone.

So he calls out a few more times, nearly swearing to two deities/lords he doesn’t generally go for, as has been done a few times (blessi - windfall / that time when Hastur and Ligur called “hail satan” and Crowley started talking about traffic). He’s still trying to get Aziraphale, just desperately aware of how useless he is at this point.

The shop window was smashed from outside. Crowley turned, startled, and an unexpected jet of water struck him full in the chest, knocking him to the ground.

His shades flew to the far corner of the room, and became a puddle of burning plastic. Yellow eyes with slitted vertical pupils were revealed. Wet and steaming, face ash-blackened, as far from cool as it was possible for him to be, on all fours in the blazing bookshop, Crowley cursed Aziraphale, and the ineffable plan, and Above, and Below.”

This is his breaking point. Physically, he’s shocked. Mentally, he’s terrified. The glasses are somewhat symbolic of his cool dude façade, and now they’re on fire. He’s probably landed on broken glass and it’s hard to see or breathe.

Seeing his eyes means vulnerability.

It’s like writing his name. He doesn’t like to do it - it associates him with what he tries to hide. He’s somewhat ashamed of it. He’s somewhat ashamed of being who he’s supposed to be - a demon, without freedom or any spark of decency. He’s vulnerable now and to a demon that’s fatal. He’s on the floor, afraid, probably looks like a wet rat, is also probably on fire. It’s his lowest point.

Back to how his being cool has been played up the whole book, the line “as far as cool as it was possible for him to be” is important. Five minutes after he loses Aziraphale, he’s lost everything he feels is him. Aziraphale grounds him. Aziraphale is important because he can perform, he can think faster when he can bounce his ideas off someone else and build them with support (think of how he and Aziraphale go back and forth against the Metatron and Beelzebub; think of how he leads Aziraphale to his point of view while also convincing himself).

The angel is someone he holds very close, and losing him feels like losing himself. Think of how you feel when a friendship ends: it’s heartbreaking and so scary. While he figures Aziraphale is probably okay, it still feels like he’s been abandoned, intentionally or not. He’s sort of felt this before, when Aziraphale leaves with the book (”Right,” mumbled Crowley, suddenly feeling very alone), but this time it’s more impactful because he needs Aziraphale for other reasons besides just being lonely.

Kinda interestingly, Crowley seems to just lose it here and curse everyone he can think of. He doesn’t want it to be his fault, and arguably it’s not. He feels thrown into this.

This sort of theme continues for his next few scenes:

“He reached into the glove compartment for his spare pair of sunglasses, and found only cassettes. Irritably he grabbed one at random and pushed it into the slot.He wanted Bach, but would settle for The Traveling Wilburys.All we need is, Radio Gaga, sang Freddie Mercury.All I need is out, thought Crowley.”

He keeps spare sunglasses in the car, haha, but finds only music. Oh, well - he associates music with him being cool too.

He buys a lot of classical cassettes, which evidently Aziraphale enjoys a lot. The angel knows he keeps his cassettes in the glove compartment, so they’ve probably listened to things before. I kind of wonder if he’s subconsciously wanting classical because it reminds him of Aziraphale, and maybe that gives him comfort.

Again, Crowley doesn’t want to be in this situation at all. He’s just really scared.

“Whee. Whizz. Pop. Static drowned out the rest of the program.

Crowley turned off the radio and bit his lower lip. Beneath the ash and soot that flaked his face, he looked very tired, and very pale, and very scared.”

The gardening bit is interrupted by the demons. Back and forth throughout these, when Crowley is stressed, his conflict is his identity. Who is he really - a demon who’s just incompetent and useless and frightened, or a Cool Dude who knows what he’s doing and can casually listen to gardening tips at the end of the world? Is he truly evil, or does he have a spark of goodness? Does Aziraphale only care for him because of that spark? Does being vulnerable and scared and lashing out - does being a demon with yellow eyes mean he’s less to the angel? Does being vulnerable mean he’s kinder, or is his aloof and cool sunglasses persona the better one?

Not to mention, all the stress around him. How is he going to die?

When he gets his sunglasses back, he recovers. He decides he’s going to do his best, and he’s going to stay optimistic. That’s who he’s going to be - he’s going to be him right until the end. Anthony Crowley. After all - and this is a sentence that’s repeated a couple times - what the hell? What else does he have to lose?

In the end, here, Crowley manages to gather himself up. I’m proud of him. These scenes are a height in his arc: deciding to do what’s right and keep going no matter what, and hoping against hope. He’s powerfully optimistic (perhaps an undemonic feature) and it gives him strength to carry on. That’s admirable.

I feel like seeing Crowley’s eyes means seeing him unveiled. I think, acceptably, if he were to get other scenes without the glasses on, they could be around Aziraphale. Trusting Aziraphale with that could be monumental. You know how often in fic, wings are intimate? I think that’s a great headcanon, but maybe for Crowley, seeing his eyes means he’s letting his guard down too (or, in this case, it’s been thrown off him and stamped into the ground like a steamroller).

#crowley #good omens #aj crowley #anthony j. crowley #oops this got. long #good omens meta #asks #answers #my art #maniacalmole #wow if only i could write these essays for school

[trancowboy]

Hi Charlie, I'm making a thing and I was wondering if you could help me by shraing your view about steve rogers and bucky barnes, as individual characters as well as your view of their relationship together, headcanons and such, is totally okay if you can't, but if you do I'd be eternally grateful! Thanks anyway

Pal, you basically just invited me to write a whole entire essay about these two assholes, so… I’m sorry? This is gonna get long and most likely sad.

Steve Rogers:

Steve is an asshole, through and through. He’s got a heart of gold and being a good person is in his nature, but my god is he an asshole.

He will fight anyone who does him or anyone he cares about wrong. He won’t hesitate to pick a fight and he would much rather throw some punches than have a verbal conversation/discussion.

Steve Rogers talks with his fists. He’ll fight until he physically can’t stand anymore and even then he will stand up and push himself just that last little bit.

(”I could do this all day.” Steve, my angry baby, have a seat and take a nap.)

Steve is the bisexual we deserve. I think he’s always been aware that he’s attracted to both men and women, but he never told anyone about it back in the day. He didn’t need people to have another reason to beat him up, so he kept it quiet.

(And if he paid a little more attention to certain drawings of a certain boy, then that was his business.)

I don’t think he knew there was a name for what he feels until he woke up in the future. But once he found out and learned more about it, I like to think he’d be a Proud Bi and just tell everyone he comes across because it’s okay now and he can do it.

Sure, it gets a little tiring when he answers his phone with, “Steve Rogers, proud bisexual. Hello,” but his friends get used to it and strangers get past the confusion quickly.

Steve swears. A lot. Like a whole fucking lot. I actively ignore the whole “Language” line (unless it was a joke that Steve only told because he’s tired of the ~grandpa~ jokes, which, ok, I can get behind that) because Steve Rogers has the mouth of a fucking sailor.

Steve can swear up a storm but compliment him or flirt with him or be extra nice or anything and he’ll blush like a tomato and become so awkward he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Even after all these years, Steve still feels a bit awkward in this new body of his. He doesn’t miss being skinny and sickly and tiny and on the brink of death all the time, but sometimes he doesn’t like being big and muscle-y either. Sometimes he doesn’t like how he can’t make himself invisible as easily as he used to.

Sometimes he just wants to curl up under the covers of his bed and hide from the outside world that has painted him as a person he’s not; a world that sees him as a soldier and Captain America™ rather than a human being.

He lives in a world he doesn’t recognize where everyone he ever knew and cared about are either dead or only remembers him half the time. This deleted scene from The Avengers shows just how detached to the world he feels and honestly, I have way too many feelings about that three minute video.

Steve throws himself into danger (jumping on a grenade without thought, crashing the Valkyrie, jumping out of a plane without a parachute, etc) because he doesn’t really care whether he lives or dies. He never feared death because death has loomed over him like a shadow since he was a child.

And maybe he wants death to take him sometimes. He definitely wanted to when he crashed the Valkyrie. He could have fought more, could have figured out a way to save the world and still survive, but he was tired and he just wanted it to end, so he stopped fighting.

And then he woke up 70 years later to more fighting and he just never slowed down or took a break, because if he did, he’d have to deal with how he was feeling and he couldn’t handle that. He didn’t want to deal with it because it was too painful.

While extremely heavy on the angst, Einherjar by thecommodore_squid perfectly portrays Steve’s depression. Steve in that fic is pretty much exactly how I see him.

MOVING ON TO HAPPIER THINGS, SHALL WE?

Steve is a Disney nerd. He probably didn’t get to catch up on all the new Disney movies between TFA and CW, but between giving up the shield and becoming Nomad (@ marvel let me have bearded!nomad!steve pls and thanks) he probably took a breather for the first time in years and started on the list.

(Does he sit with a laptop by Bucky’s cryo freezer and watches them with him??? haha shoot me)

Steve will fight for what he believes in, no matter what. He proved that in CW when he gave up everything for Bucky without thinking twice.

And then, of course, there’s my headcanon that Steve is trans but if I dive into that, this thing is gonna end up 100k on Steve alone.

Bucky Barnes:

Bucky cares so much. He’s the guy who stood by this skinny, little punk’s side when no one else did. He’s the guy who probably worked his ass off for hours and hours just to get enough money so Steve could get healthy (or healthier) again.

He’s the guy who went through torture and trauma and had the opportunity to get an honorable discharge after what he went through, but he didn’t. Instead he followed his best friend back into war and it cost him his life and freedom and self.

But I’d bet my left foot that he’d do it all again, because he’s Bucky and Bucky cares so goddamn much about everyone but himself.

Bucky is gay. Yes, he was with women back in the day and yes, he kissed them and fooled around with them and probably got off a little, but I think he did it just because it was expected of him.

If it wasn’t because it would be suspicious to everyone else, he would probably just stay home with Steve and pine every single day.

Bucky is such a giant fucking nerd. He finds science and technology incredibly exciting. I mean, he did spend his last night before going off to war dragging Steve to the Stark Expo (and their dates but eh).

Imagine his reaction to all the science stuff he missed while being used by Hydra? He’s gonna light up like a child on Christmas. God, I love my nerd son so much.

Bucky is smart as hell and no one can convince me otherwise. I mean, “[…] having been an excellent athlete who also excelled in the classroom” is proof enough.

Bucky has been through hell and back several times. He’s been wiped of his memories and himself until he was a blank slate for Hydra to do whatever they wanted to with, and it’s happened probably more times than he’s been able to keep track of. And every time he started regaining just a little bit of himself or just one little memory, the torture would start all over again.

He’s been through hell, so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that he suffers from a severe case of PTSD.

Bucky Barnes is a man who cares and protects and when he’s made into a weapon who kills and murders and destroys – when he himself becomes the danger, he locks himself away because he thinks that’s the best thing for everybody.

Steve + Bucky:

There’s no Steve without Bucky, and there’s no Bucky without Steve. Steve and Bucky have always been SteveandBucky, and one without the other means they’re never really whole.

They’re their own person, sure, but they’re better together. They make each other better. Bucky makes sure Steve doesn’t kill himself with his stupidity and recklessness, and Steve makes sure Bucky gets protected and cared for too.

Steve will give up everything for Bucky, no hesitation and no questions asked, and Bucky will do whatever it takes to protect Steve, even if that means hurting him in the process (ie going into cryo).

Bucky is Steve’s dark side and Steve will do anything for him.

I have mixed thoughts on who fell in love with who first. My first instinct is to say Bucky fell in love with Steve first because of all the obvious pining in TFA, but then I think about little Steve Rogers who everyone beat up and disregarded and didn’t care about getting saved by this wonderful boy who doesn’t look down on him and treats him like an equal and I think it was easy for Steve to fall in love with Bucky, so I’m just¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

It doesn’t really matter who fell in love with who first though, does it? What mattes is that they love each other unconditionally and ‘til the end of the line (and beyond cause c’mon. That kinda love is never gonna die).

To end on a lighter note, I’m gonna give you some fluffy headcanons cause I have A Lot.

Steve is the big spoon. He always has been. Bucky loved when there was a skinny octopus clinging to him and barely being able to cover him and he loves it when he’s surrounded by pillowy muscles and warmth.

Bucky was Steve’s favorite subject to draw. And even after everything, even when he hadn’t seen him for years and thought he was dead, Steve still drew him because he never wanted to forget the face of the man he loves.

Whenever Bucky talks about science stuff, he gets all excited and extra cute, and Steve always falls in love with him a little bit more.

Same for when Steve talks about art or literally anything he’s passionate about. Steve could talk about poop and piss for an hour, and Bucky would be making heart-eyes at him the whole time.

Steve used to wear Bucky’s shirts all the time. His excuse used to be that he was too lazy to do laundry, but really, he just liked wearing Bucky’s clothes. (Bucky never minded.)

Clothes sharing is a Thing with these two. It’s a Thing that happens a lot and no one can convince me otherwise.

Bucky loves having his hair played with and Steve loves to play with Bucky’s hair.

Bucky has always loved dancing. That doesn’t change over the years, and he will make Steve dance with him again. (”I don’t care that the serum didn’t fix your two left feet, Stevie, dance with me.”)

When they finally do get together (whether that was before the war or after TWS doesn’t matter) Steve never wastes an opportunity to tell Bucky he loves him, and Steve takes every chance he can to kiss him because now he can.

Steve was probably the one who made the first move.

Steve is a little shit and Bucky loves him even when he’s being Extra and Dramatic and even when Bucky’s exasperated with him. Steve can be as much of an asshole as he wants to, because Bucky will always love him.

Bucky loves flirting with Steve just to see Steve blush bright red. (Sometimes Bucky will just casually put his hand on Steve’s butt or boob and Steve will become Captain Tomato.)

Steve will fucking fight anyone who says anything bad about Bucky.

Conclusion: Give these boys some hugs and a happy ending, please and thank you.

Anyway, I’ve got a ton more Thoughts but this is already so stupidly long, so I’m gonna stop there. Hope this was helpful (was it??? idk) and thank you for letting me ramble on about these two fuckers.

PS, tell me more about your thing or link me, maybe, if you wanna 👀

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #stevebucky #stucky #otp: till the end of the line #anonymous #answered #this distracted me for a while #which i really needed #so thank you