#this is genuinely so upsetting for freelancers

[herssian]

actually insane you have to post daily, if not multiple times, on platforms like twitter and instagram, to even be in the vicinity of being seen by people who follow you, let alone brand new audience lol this is why tumblr is still king, people will not like or reblog your stuff simply because they don’t give a shit

#and now for the non memey-part of the post: i've seen many artists lately on twitter #who have not been able to upload constantly and return to a 18k+ following #and have their posts get maybe 1 like because THEY'RE NOT BEING PUT ON PEOPLE'S TIMELINES #i'll burn your algorithms to the ground and build them back up with the tried and true tumblr noodle code #the tag system might not be working here on the best of days but it's not because of the algorithm #why are social media platforms so obsessed with making artists suffer #this is genuinely so upsetting for freelancers #even if you just wanna vibe as a hobbyist or as someone who simply wants to follow artists #you'll either not be seen or not see the people you follow #STOP THAT ! #GET SOME HELP !

[woollygothlesbian]

The r***y q***l take down piece on medium is literally some of the worst journalism I've seen, and I am currently employed in a college newspaper with no journalism course

#posting this on my only work unaffiliated account lol #its genuinely so frustrating #bc like i dont like discrediting independant journalism #bc some Amazing journalists work outside of established publications #and work independant and freelance #but that medium piece is not journalism and should not call itself such #it doesnt meet best practice #it violates anonymity #its blatently biased #and it mispresents facts to build an overall very shaky narrative #whats really upsetting about it is the potential that it will impact the ability of anyone who has been mistreated jn the audio drama #industry in attempts to come forward #bc in my opinion this piece was handled in the literal worst possible way #interactable but if you tag it with anythign that will bring nonfollowers to my door im going to be sad

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

The importance of setting rules for your fictional universe

I talked about this a little in another recent post in terms of rules for character design (not any like…theory or rules for designing characters, but rather rules for WHY a character looks a certain way) and it made me think more about world building in general.

I’ll be talking mainly about Hellaverse stuff since it’s on my mind, at first because I rewatched HB and now again b/c the HH trailer dropped.

B/c I gotta be honest, I’m pretty sure the world of Hazbin Hotel is gonna fall flat for me the same way that Helluva Boss has.

And as a reminder, I’m not trying to bash Helluva and Hazbin. I enjoyed the recent Hazbin trailer, but I think it’s really important to examine and think about story stuff.

Critique/Review below!

I think one of, if not THE biggest thing keeping HB and HH from feeling like a fully realized world is that we don’t really have any rules or standards for what is considered “normal” in Hell.

And since there’s no baseline for what is considered moral and immoral in hell, characters and their reactions to violence, crime, verbal abuse, body shaming, etc. seem to switch rapidly between sharing an earthly human morality, where everything is mirroring our current day society, and an anything goes kill-steal-maim total anarchy ideology.

To me the HH/HB version of hell comes off like the purge, except actually there ARE some crimes that are off limits. Like murder is okay sometimes and of course there are assassins everywhere that’s just a normal freelance sort of business. But also there’s organized crime and if you steal from a bank you go to hell-jail.

For example, after “Exes and Oh’s”, I had assumed killing other Imps or hellborn must be considered a crime, the way that Crim’s behavior and killing of his underlings was portrayed as completely negative and horrific. But then remembered that Millie having a neighborhood body count due to getting too competitive is mentioned as a joke, and it’s pretty clear that her family thinks of it as more of an embarrassing incident than like…an actually terrible thing to do.

I thought, “Okay, we’ll, maybe it’s just Moxxie’s Mom that was against all the violence being taught to her son.” But apparently she’s from the Wrath ring, the same ring as Millie. So was Moxxie’s Nameless Mom seen as being particularly different or strange to the what a “typical” Wrath Imp is? We can’t know.

Like. We see that imps have romantic relationships and can care deeply about each other and fall in love, just like humans do. In reference to the neighborhood bodycount thing, were Millie’s neighbors not extremely upset with her? Wouldn’t they also grieve their loved ones? Is it sometimes socially acceptable to kill other Imps like in sporting events???

Are the rules for what is seen as socially acceptable for sinners different from what’s socially acceptable for hellborn? Are there different ideas of what is socially acceptable from ring to ring?

I worry that when I ask these questions about a fictional universe, people will think I’m TRYING to dig or look for things to tear that world apart.

I promise I’m thinking about these things so deeply out of curiosity and because I want to engage with the material.

I want to understand and have fun in the fictional universe the writers have invited us all to. But if the rules of your universe are not clear, it can make it much harder for audiences to navigate the story you are trying to tell in that setting.

The HH/HB universe just does NOT have that clarity right now. Since season 2 of HB I’ve noticed that the world building has become more and more inconsistent, and if it’s supposed to now SHARE that world with HH, I really don’t know how they’re going to make their world coherent.

As a final note these are just my opinions. They are not objectively right. If you love Hh and HB and firmly believe the story is clear and the world building makes sense that’s great!! Genuinely, I am happy that the story means a lot to you and you enjoy it. These are just my personal critiques and views.

#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #helluva boss critique #helluva boss critical #hb critical #Hh critical #media conversation #funhouse convo #media criticism #media critique #writing critique #world building

[soup-scope]

i dunno if i said this before but it beats repeating ig

one of my favorite things about redacted and his writing is that erik takes seemingly common boyfriend asmr tropes and completely flips them onto their head and assigns a certain DEPTH to his characters that makes them feel so genuinely real

a ‘tsundere alpha wolf boyfriend’ is introduced in the form of david. he completely fits the bill in his first few videos. but as time goes on and he and angel’s relationship develops and deepens he lets down those walls, gives reason to why he was the way he way and how he was still attempting to overcome his grief and mourning over the passing of his parents. one of my FAVORITE david videos is the one where angel is comforting him on the summer solstice because it also happened to fall onto father’s day. the idea that angel *KNEW* what he needed by having him miss a day at work, let him speak on his own terms about what’s upsetting him, and just holding him while he cried. early david and current david are two completely different people due to erik gripping onto a relatively generic trope and going FURTHER with it

or like with vincent in the form of ‘flirty vampire.’ i literally ADORE vincent character development. with him falling into a ‘flirty and empty’ persona in an attempt to get what he needs in order to literally survive. and as SOON as lovely was seriously injured by being involved into the empowered world, he IMMEDIATELY drops this persona and tries to gently guide lovely into this world without pressuring them or making them feel unsafe. vincent has definitely taken back some of his flirting that he originally had, but he WAITED until lovely and him were at that point again.

god and don’t get me started on gavin

a common trope i’ve seen when people write incubus or concubus in general, is that they typically carry a sense of shame for what they are/feed on. and of course gavin 1000% has a problem with people only viewing him as his capability to have sex, he isn’t ashamed of what he is or what he does. gavin sees sex as a way to make both parties feel *good.* in his confession audio he literally describes it as bringing a joy to others. i mean, the freelancer and gavin have sex for the first time in an attempt to distract freelancer because they were emotionally exhausted from everything with kody and vega. even if gavin didn’t know everything at the time, he wanted to give them just a moment to forget about everything that had them ridiculously stressed.

these are just some examples that i can think of on the top of my head. i adore erik’s writing with these characters which is something i didn’t know to be possible with the audio rp format. there’s a lot of nuance that can be lost when just hearing someone speak, but even if i have a hard time with tone or lil nuances like that, i can’t recall a time when i’m ever really been completely lost when listening to redacted content. just. great writing 👍👍

#sorry for the long wall of text #i just love the subversion of tropes #he definitely leaned into those tropes with a lot of the characters older videos #but he gave them genuine personality’s and reasons for them to be the way that they are #it’s great and entertaining writing #redacted asmr #redacted audio #asmr boyfriend #boyfriend asmr #redactedverse #redacted gavin #redacted vincent #redacted david #redacted david shaw #david shaw #vincent solaire

[aliciachimera]

thank you for being patient with me.

its hard to put all of my thoughts and feelings into words, but. since i've resumed HRT once again, i've felt a lot less.. volatile, i'm able to self-examine what i'm feeling with enough clarity to understand what makes me feel upset and steps i can take resolve it as best as i can. i'm still depressed, and anxious most days, but my general mood has genuinely improved from borderline, towards exhausted stability.

i ended up leaving several discord servers after feeling overwhelmed, and while i do feel regretful about that, i think its best that i try not to strain myself over spreading myself too thin across social media. its.. hard keeping up with a lot of people across different places especially as twitter continues to crumble and people continue to leave that site for other places. i haven't been posting to bluesky or cohost or anywhere else as of late because i just, feel i need a break from trying to manage my social media presence as freelance artist, hobby artist, and furry friend, as well as the ongoing issue of needing to establish my own financial stability.

i've got my own insurance to cover the cost of my type 1 diabetes meds, although the mail order refill service took nearly 4 weeks when they estimated 3-5 days. i can't... really wait that long for insulin. i had to be careful with what i ate otherwise i'd have run out before the refill arrived. but beyond that, having my own insurance and handling my own medical stuff is another string of independence away from my family, step by step.

i wish i could make that goal to move out by the end of the year, but its a more reasonable goal to say that i hope to save up enough of my own money to visit Kim sometime this year. it comforts me to call myself a work in progress. looking on the flip side of things, make me feel a bit more confident that things really will work out.

so.. thank you for being patient with me.

#vent #alicia speaks

[funsize-cenobites]

Small thing I've noticed in my Freelancer arc rewatch that I'm sure someone- maybe many people- has already brought up. I'm not sure if it was intentional or just down to Shannon's performance but I kinda love it regardless-

In the moments when Wash has had enough and snaps at someone. When his voice raises and he's impressing on them just how stupid something they said sounded or how idiotic they're acting. In the brief moments before he wrangles himself back into control and masks the stronger emotions:

His anger and annoyance really really seem to mirror Church's.

And this is why I can't be sure whether or not it was intentional. Outbursts like this are already a staple of RvB's comedy and each character has their moments like this. However while rewatching Reconstruction and hearing both Washington and Church in tandem, I can't not notice it. It feels like a very subtle not subtle nod to their connection. One you only really recognize after having the context.

The pitch and way their voices crack- even the flash fire immediacy of it- when they snap just feels so eerily same-ish.

But at the same time, with Washington a lot of these moments feel almost like an intrusion. As if he genuinely hates that it happens. Its always immediate, like Church's outbursts of impotent rage, brief, and he tries to cut it off as quick as it comes. He always seems to try and return to monotones pretty quickly.

It doesn't feel out of place persay- we see Washington in later seasons pre-Epsilon and he's plenty capable of getting upset and yelling, but it doesn't feel... the same. I could be misremembering how Shannon and the writers characterized him during PFL but at least in rewatching now and knowing all the little eccentricities abd details they wrote into the show back then, post-Epsilon Wash's moments of frustrated anger feel like a bleed. It feels like that aspect of Epsilon- probably one of the strongest Wash felt aside from pain and fear- has been hard to shake.

Which is where I go more into speculative territory?

Because with all we know from the end of Reconstruction: Wash suffered most of the trauma from Epsilon in silence so the Councilor and Director wouldn't know.

While he clearly had some kind of initial break from reality- likely a fairly awful catatonic state with bursts of semi-lucidity and confusion- Wash managed to keep at least some semblance of his shit together. I assume by leaning hard into dissociation and derealization both as a coping mechanism and a way to protect himself and that little bit of Epsilon forever imprinted within him.

Epsilon is Memory. He is The Cycle incarnate. He lives, ironically, whether or not his AI form survives because of Washington. Because he gave it all to him. Epsilon is just a part of Wash now, forever. That part of the fragment that is stuck in time, trapped in place, and suffering.

And I gotta stress this bit: Wash could have said something, but he never did.

I do think its because he realized that the suffering of himself, his team, and Alpha, couldn't be for nothing.

I do, wholeheartedly believe that even in insanity, even after being devalued and mocked by his team (Despite clearly being good at what he does? Hes on Carolina's team. Hes on the MOI with the Director. Hes pretty consistently high on the leader board!) and presumably, abandoned by them... Wash listens to Epsilon. He has such empathy.

I promise all this has a point, Im not JUST spouting Agent Washington propaganda- though it is also that.

I just mean to show how complex I see their relationship, both incredibly, painfully brief yet lifelong. We didn't get to see how long exactly they were together before Epsilon tried to destroy himself but it was long enough for Wash to listen and to care.

It was long enough that Washington became a survivor after losing Epsilon, but... wasn't he always? All that changed was that now he had a Purpose.

As far as his compassion and empathy goes, even later on with Wash never wanting his mind violated like that ever again; even with him never being okay with putting another AI in his mind casually. I don't think he truly hates Alpha or Epsilon. I actually think he has the most empathy for Epsilon out of anyone because lmao, who else could know him more intimately?

I like to think in his own way, while taking the only chance he had, Epsilon begged Wash for help, to be avenged and remembered.

Epsilon probably knew they wouldn't delete him. Probably knew being implanted was the only chance he had to destroy himself while ensuring the mission of vengeance lived on. He begged Wash for help, knowing damn well that what he was doing was breaking Wash too.

Passing on the trauma. Starting another cycle of harm like the Director before him.

But you know? Despite all this being my own current thoughts/opinions on it, I kinda love thinking of it this way. I love that Washington... breaks that cycle eventually.

He finds a home with the Blues. He loves all the sim troopers and eventually realizes that he's hurt each and every one of them. Then he spends the rest of his life trying to make up for it.

In that way, moreso than the death of the Director or dismantling of PFL as a whole, I think Wash did do right by the Epsilon in his head. His Epsilon. And by proxy, himself. Because- circling all the way back to the original idea of the post- you can't have one without the other anymore.

#rvb Wash #agent washington #Rewatching rvb with adult eyes is making me so fucking emo dude #I love him so much #rvb Church #rvb epsilon #This is all stream of consciousness Im just wicked emotional about them #For the record this is not me calling Epsilon evil or bad. Epsilon was hurt beyond anything anyone ever deserved #But this is how Im reading things #And Im so fucking sad Wash and Church never got as much interactive screen time as they deserved #Might fuck around and write about it #project freelancer #cw dissociation #cw derealization #I mean its Wash and Epsilon. Obviously those are being talked about.

[simplepotatofarmer]

life update:

so. they're no longer paying for the at home nurse which means i'm back to doing most of that. like, i don't know if my partner is ever going to get better. they almost died. it's been months and they still can't go up the stairs without struggling and needing help.

i can't work because i don't qualify for a work visa. i've been doing freelance shit online and babysitting and selling eggs. which so far as been like. alright but it's draining and i'm tired. definitely tired with everything else that's going on.

anyway. i just really really want to write. it's genuinely the one thing that brings me joy but i'm struggling. and i'm also upset because the past few months have really shaken my belief that people are good because there's so much terrible stuff happening and so many people are just...silent about it.

i want to write so badly and i feel awful. i also keep deleting the posts because people are so nice to me and i feel bad being like 'i need even more support' so. i apologize.

#loyal talks about stuff and things

[soemthingsparkly]

Came here from ao3 after binging your entire fic, thus far, in but a few hours. one i gotta say I absolutely love it and I love how well you express emotions as well as giving a well balanced amount of hurt/comfort and humour throughout

Secondly, hi how was your day, is there anything you wanna rant about but haven't had a reason or opportunity to do so?

Okay so this has been sitting in my inbox for the past few weeks because while it's a really lovely message about the fic, I have been saving this opportunity to rant about something that I've not had a reason or opp to do so and–

okay wait first of all

Thank you SO MUCH that is so fricking kind and I'm so glad to hear that. I pride myself on being able to tackle character trauma and hurting in a way that I hope feels human and real. That's why there's so much humour in this fic that actually has quite a lot of what might be considered upsetting/painful character lore.

Humour is a popular and prominent coping mechanism for a reason and I think that it's more realistic for characters to just go about their daily lives as they would normally and get suddenly reminded of/impacted by something triggering/upsetting without it being something that's always on the surface.

So yeah, I'm genuinely really glad that this concept of balancing the hurt and humour has been brought up a lot in comments and messages, because that is something that I really want to achieve with this fic.

So thank you so much!

Secondly!

I talk about being a freelance writer pretty often these days and something that always bugs me is when I go to places like Reddit and other freelance forums and ask how people stay motivated with the work and they answer

'The need to pay my bills 😂😂😂'

like TELL ME YOU DONT HAVE ADHD WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU DONT HAVE ADHD

Anyway it's just absolutely frustrating as hell for me, because it's NOT good advice and it's NOT helpful. I'd so rather people just stay quiet and not answer than reply with that. Of course I also have bills to pay but if I have just enough money to cover my rent next month, my brain isn't going to kick into gear.

Anyway it's really frustrating.

That being said does anyone want to buy any Hermit Coffee Co. related merch?

#jaz talks #jaz answers #the hermit coffee co. #anon ask #jaz talks work

[jueunbe]

hello, loves! it's just lil ol' me, the mun behind chaerin and haein! jueun is a beloved muse of mine that i've had for about four years but never got the chance to write out, so i tweaked her a little to fit at wannabe! hopefully, she fits in well. you can find her profile here and an introduction to her below the cut! as always, please like this post if you'd like to plot!

her background! born in suwon, south korea to a father who works for samsung and a mother who works as a japanese interpreter. she also has an older brother who is currently just an engineering student

dad was busy with his corporate job while mom was more of a freelancer so naturally, jueun ended up spending much more time with her mom. mom always wanted a daughter so when she ended up having jueun, she started throwing all her childhood dreams onto her

that mostly consisted of pageants, beauty contests and whatnot so jueun's grown up having to always win and be in the spotlight. plus, she's always had to take care of her appearances and that habit remains till today

as she grows older, she stops winning as many competitions, and so her mom kind of gives up on her. there's a mix of emotions during her last contest because she's so relieved that she never has to go through this again but also upset because it makes her feel worthless

anyway, as you can tell she has a lot of issues when it comes to trusting people because of the competitive world she was in from a young age and she always seeks approval from others! sort of acts overly confident to cover up the insecurities that she does have

currently, she's a university student majoring in fashion, works part time at olive young for the sweet cj points and discounts and also does freelance makeup work! nothing fancy, but she'll do cheap makeup and styling for fellow college students if they're shooting profiles and such

doesn't really dream of being an idol (for now, at least), but she has imagined herself being on television and kind of seeks the attention that comes with a job in this industry. becoming an idol or just being famous in general would really fulfill the approval and attention she seeks from people

kind of instagram famous but not really. probably has a decent following but it's niche. people who like fashion and makeup might know her feed but if you're not into that stuff, she's just a college kid

i explained some of her personality above, but she really does fake it to make it more than she'd like to. her mother has put her down quite a lot since she was young and her dad was never home enough to give her any love, but she is very close to her brother. the two pretty much only had one another to count on. she's kind of wary of people's true intentions when she first meets them but puts on a very outgoing, friendly facade to get to know them. almost like getting to know her enemies better before they become her enemies! if she were to debut as an idol, i can see fans finding her to be a lot more quiet than they expected her to be because she's constantly acting to have people like her and enjoy her presence

deep down, she is a lot softer than she appears. again, she acts more confident than she actually is because that's how she was trained to act since she was young. jueun would love more than anything to be a little more genuine, but it'll take some training, and she'll have to make some real friends for that to happen

kind of lives by the motto of why give a 100% to everything when she can give her 70% and get away with it. life's been pretty smooth so far (or so she likes to think) so she's not a work hard every day kind of girl

i am open for all sorts of plots but here are a few that just popped into mind! perhaps your muse hires her for makeup, you're a frequent shopper at olive young and you always seek out jueun because she seems to have the best recommendations, a roommate would be nice because she's going to school in seoul but her house is suwon, someone who catches her in a vulnerable moment and sees a more watered down version of her, some real friends (would require more intense plotting though!), exes/crushes/flings and whatnot (the latter will be very recent because of her age, of course), etc. again, i'd be more than happy to discuss things so please do throw me any ideas you have!

#( ✦ . ˚ — ooc. ) #be:intro

[clawsextended]

if asked for her position in a setting where she’s unable to admit precisely what her job is (so most places) she says she’s an ‘expert consultant on the extraction and encryption of sensitive data’. it’s a pretty open secret to everyone who knows her — selina is the world’s best data thief.

do you hear that singularity? she doesn’t work with others. she doesn’t play nice. she’s a freelance contractor of her own accord. if she does you a favor, she wanted to. and if you insinuate that she has an agenda she will scorn you for it. accepting a gift with skepticism is the quickest way to aggravate her, and ever, ever trying to project motives onto something she does pisses her off beyond reason.

every aggressive effort toward understanding creates rage in her. bruce is not exempt to this as is displayed here.

bruce’s genuine inflection insists that selina can upset him and ‘disappoint’ him but that’s not it. it doesn’t mean she becomes useless to him, but in selina’s mentality, all absolutes, she’s disappointed him and that means the relationship is fucked. her behavior toward this is always aggression. she becomes violent because she’s accustomed to violence.

she must be physically reactive because the feeling bubbles up and over too high and he’s covered in armor. selina lashes out because it’s a fearful concept and bruce appears in every way the embodiment of what she’s usually terrified of — selina’s primal brain says get it away.

she genuinely hates this about herself. she will then spend the next day helplessly and constantly replaying this moment, obsessing over every single mistake, repeatedly punish herself every way she can equate. there’s absolutely got to be atonement, everything has to be apologized for, everything must be sorry sorry sorry. she makes mistakes and then frantically attempts to repair them — attachment is tenuous, difficult, tempestuous and erratic.

there is no such thing as a single thing besides all or nothing.

#CLAWS EXTENDED. #CLAWS RETRACTED. #SIT DOWN AT THE TYPEWRITER OPEN YOUR VEINS AND BLEED. #THEY MADE ME A WEAPON THEN TOLD ME TO FIND PEACE. #[citations for my own headcanons. yes im writing these literally to be able to gesture to things about her behavior. xoxo]

[justanotherfanartist]

fuck it assigning freelancers songs I’m obsessed with based on what fits them vibes or lyrics wise. It’s almost 5 am and I have not slept I do what I WANT

( long post. Tired rambles. A lot of music recommendations. I’m very happy about the Tex one though I cannot understate how perfect that song is for her in every way shape and fucking form. Same with the bonus Church/Epsilon one that I figured out on the spot and couldn’t be bothered to type something different.)

NORTH - Holiday Hours by the Posies oh my godddd I’m going to make an animatic for this because this is just him in a nutshell to me relationship with South his own shit going on childhood and all. I cannot describe how perfect this is for him in my head. So many headcanons are tied to this song hhhhhrrrr. I will make an entire post breaking down every single fucking line of this song if I have to.

YORK - West End Girls by the Pet Shop Boys. You cannot tell me he doesn’t listen to this song are you kidding me. It’s genuinely such a vibe and also the lyrics are decently fitting for something he would identify with and DEFINITELY sing a little bit. Has made a bad joke with ‘west end girl’ as the punchline and nobody got it except for North and only because York plays the song so much. SOUTH - The Glitter Prize by the Posies. The lyrics ohhh for her yeah. If this isn’t her whole thing with the leaderboard and feeling inadequate mmmmmmmm. Delicious song. CAROLINA - I Guess You’re Right by the Posies (but it’s a different album this time!). This is her and the director in season 9/10 freelancer arc tbh. The lyrics are *chefs kiss* for their relationship at some points down to the “if I meet more than your eyes” mmmmm.

TEX - Blah Blah Blah by The Oozes. It’s giving her and Church/Director 100 fucking percent. Genuinely the lyrics are fucking perfect for their relationship. LITERALLY this is just her singing about how shitty he is and all the stuff he did I am begging you to at least google the lyrics oh my GOOODDDDD. IT EVEN HAS SPECIFICS “you’ve ruined the color blue for me / I’m surrounded by a deep dark sea / you’ve liess to us and honestly / you’ve ruined the color blue for me” plus it’s got the appropriate hurt/tired/upset/ragey vibes. Everything about this song is perfect for her especially if you picture it has her singing. I cannot overstate how much I love this for her. also Call Me by Blondie. Not for the lyrics just the guitar vibes. CONNIE - For The Ashes by the Posies. Yes it’s getting out of hand I’m aware. But hear me out alright. Listen to the first bit okay. The first one is South the second one is Tex the third is Carolina and the fourth is Connie. And also the rest of the lyrics are pretty perfect for her season 9/10 arc are you kidding omg. Connie my girl this one’s for you.

WASH - Moonshine by Caravan Palace (I highly recommend this band I love them). It’s giving a little bit of early/post freelancer arc/ season 7 era wash tbh. Also the music video character looks kinda looks like him down to the outfit color scheme. Lmao. Look at him he’s got so many problems to work through. The lyrics mmm. For him they work tbh but like I said for a specific era of Wash mostly. He has no idea what he’s doing with his life really. Burn The House Down by AJR. Ough. Yess the lyrics. A little more pop than I’d want for him tbh but it works anyways. And actually the tone of the singers voice and the mild apprehension fits freelancer arc younger wash. MAINE/META - The Wolf by SIAMÉS. Quick tangent the music video fucking slaps for this song. Also the lyrics are pretty fitting. This song has such a good vibe ngl. Not perfect for Maine but very good for Meta tbh. ALTERNATIVELY: Hungry Like The Wolf by Duran Duran. Funny two wolf songs with the same sex metaphor. But anyways yeah same thing the lyrics are close but mostly I just wanted to include because. I like this song. Doesn’t really fit him actually but he’d probably like listening to it.

bonus this one’s for the dakota twins: Golden Blunders surprise surprise also by the Posies (i don’t. have a problem). But come on the opening line is “Golden blunders come in pairs”. Also like- the chorus- “You’re gonna watch what you say for a long time / You’re gonna suffer the guilt forever. / You’re gonna get in the way at the wrong time, / You’re gonna mess up things you thought you would never.” them. them. them. a little bit. Also Accidental Architecture (it’s also the Posies. Bc yes.) I miiiight be reaching a little bit for this one tbh but I still see it for them a smidge. yorkalina a little bit tbh (but like. Moooostly York): Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners. It has his stupid sweet flirty energy alright I think it’s cute for them.

CHURCH/EPSILON - OKAY OKAY SO I NEED SOME HELP WITH THIS ONE. Still Feel by Half Alive. This fits an RVB character I just don’t know WHO. it’s driving me fucking insane. Church/Epsilon?? OHHH SHIT ITS HIM FR. I love figuring things out on the spot omg. It’s literally him. Literally. This song slaps by the way actually and the music video is like watching IT guys on an acid trip or some shit. these lyrics especially : when I’m furthest from myself (far away) feeling closer to the stars (outer space) ive been invaded by the dark (can’t escape) trying to recognize myself when I feel I’ve been replaced i can feel a kick down in my soul and it’s pulling me back to earth to let me know i am not a slave, can’t be contained so pick me from the dark and pull me from the grave cause i still feel alive when it’s hopeless, I start to notice that I still feel alive falling forward, back into orbit

(Some other lyrics and stuff and THEN THIS PART OH MY GOD) floating in outer space, have I misplaced, a part of my soul? lost in the in between, or so it seems, I’m out of control floating im outer space, have I misplaced, a part of my soul? lost in the in between but I can’t keep me asleep for long (and then we kick back to the I still feel alive bit) SCREAMING ITS SO PERFECT.

this troop me almost two hours to make. My head hurts did I mention I haven’t slept. Anyways. Yes. Maybe I’ll do other characters idk I just needed this out of my head and tangible somewhere.

#agent north dakota #agent york #agent south dakota #agent carolina #agent connecticut #connie #church #epsilon #yorkalina #agent maine #the meta #agent texas #tex #agent washington #song reccomendations #rvb #i am. so fucking tired right now

[hegotfemininehips]

Hiiii! I wrote a little thing so we could have a Marcus moment with kody because fuck him he deserves no sympathy sooo hehehhe

tw: kody, he thinks he did nothing wrong, cursing

“Wait, you did what?” They asked, sitting on the couch. “Bridged with someone during my free period, why can't believe anyone would do that with me willingly?” Kody responded laughing while playing the game. “Yeah, actually,” a slight laugh escaped them as they paused the game “Who was it?” they asked, Kody never talked about having a partner or someone genuinely close to him that seemed like they'd be willing so the statement was a little off-putting. “Oh well,” Kody stuttered over it. “It was this human-born freelancer,” he had this look on his face that seemed both cocky and like he was asking them not to look into it anymore. “Human-born? Did you have to explain it to them first?” they said laughing at their joke. 

“Can we play the game again now I really don’t care about Kody’s, non-existent, love-life,” a girl muttered from the floor. “That’s why I’m so curious I thought Kody was bitchless, and apparently, I was wrong,” they laughed some more “So tell me more, I’m curious” they pried for the information.

And boy that's not what they were expecting. Yeah sure Kody was the definition of incel but this, this was not something they expected. “Wait,” the girl from the floor interrupted. “Did they even know what it was like it doesn’t seem like you explained anything?” “Well I meant to but-” Kody started but the girl didn’t let him finish “That's disgusting Kody, you completely took advantage of them because you didn't wanna feel lonely” the room went partially silent other than the sound of the game pause menu. “I think I left my stove on, Kam wanna come to help me with that?” they muttered standing up from the couch. “Anywhere is better than here right now Apollo, let's go,” the girl said while getting up “tell me what happens when they report you!” Kam shouted back into the room as she walked out the door behind them.

Well shit, he thought to himself, not really the reaction I was expecting.

He stood up from the couch walking to the kitchen.

Did I really mess up that bad?

He poured himself a glass of water from his fridge dispenser.

He thought about it for a minute leaning against the counter.

No, it's not that big a deal, I doubt they’ll be that upset when they find out what it is.

#redacted kody #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redactedasmr #redacted audio #redacted damn #redacted fanfic #redacted freelancer

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Love!

I just saw last few Nonnys sending you (well deserved!) love, and you replied with something that you're upset you're not doing it (reccing) too well recently. I just want you to know that we all are grateful for EVERYTHING. Like, literally. Just linking us other lists is incredibly helpful and asking others for a fic / recs is also truly amazing! I understand that you may feel less "productive" or whatever else, but don't forget that the simpliest acts are gigantic. If you'd need a week break, we love you. If you'd need a month break, we love you. If you'd need a year break, we still love you. Hell, if you'd at some point decide you won't rec anymore, we will always love you. Okay? All the love to you and stay well! <3<3<3

(referencing this ask re: me being upset about having lame recs)

LOVELY.

I don't deserve this kindness, TRUELY. Honestly, I'm sobbing as I write this, because, I dunno, I feel I don't deserve it if I'm not really trying, you know? I can't explain. I just feel bad because I feel like I used to do much better at reccing, but I suppose with a 3 year CONSTANT back-catalogue of lists, I don't really have that much to do now when I do get asks, you know? And I feel bad because in the past 2 years, I've been slowing down in my reading because I don't take public transit anymore, and usually only read before bed, or in the mornings on the weekend, so I'm REALLY slow at getting new reads out, and in turn my lists have slowed down too.

And now asks these days, it's easy for me to go to my organized offline list and copy-paste everything and boom, done. I have been trying to limit my online usage if only because I work my ass off during the day, do some freelance after hours and then I spend hours filing my blog in the moments I have free. Looking at my computer is exhausting, LOL.

I got a comment a few months ago that my recs are boring and repetitive now because they're always the same fics, and I guess ever since then I've just been... losing heart in doing them, you know? If no one is enjoying them anymore, despite me meticulously sorting everything to make it easier for people to find exactly what they're looking for, and even though I work my DAMNEDEST to get you guys new lists twice a week EVERY single week... then what's the point?

*shrugs* I don't know. I'm just being stupid, I guess. Comments like this help a lot. I do genuinely enjoy making the lists (digitally organizing things help soothe my mind) and sharing them with everyone makes me happy... kind of a "look at my stuff, isn't it neat?" thing, heh.

So yeah, I'll be taking some time off soon (I usually do several times in the summer months during Canadian long weekends and my usual summer holiday), first one coming up in a few weeks for just the long weekend. Just always feel bad when I do. Bleh. Shit self-esteem sucks.

Thank you again for your kind words. I really REALLY appreciate comments like this, because it lets me know that I must be doing SOMETHING right and my stupid brain is just being silly again, hah.

*HUGS* Thank you <3

#steph replies #chatting with lovelies #about me #my blog #testimonials

[sunderedazem]

My Imperial Agent - Elennye Trizz

Of all the characters in my Moonrise Legacy, Elennye is the only one who can be truly said to be loyal to the Empire, rather than any personal goals or higher ideals. And while her preferred methods of information retrieval and extraction avoid needless violence, she has utterly no qualms about committing atrocities in the name of the Empire, if that is what must be done. She's isn't upset by the Empire's placement of Castellan restraints on her either - rather, her desire to remove said conditioning stems solely from the fact that it compromises her as an Imperial asset. It's an odd position for her, to be certain - as one of two aliens working in Imperial Intelligence before it's dissolution and reconstitution as Sith Intelligence, one might wonder what the cause of her loyalty is.

And the answer to that is quite simple, really. It was the Empire that took her in after the repeated clashing between sects of fanatical Sith and Jedi some years prior to the Treaty of Coruscant killed her parents, the both of them caught in an explosion caused by a shot-down Jedi spacecraft impacting the planet's surface. However, more to the point, she was not taken in by the Empire as a slave; rather, she was enlisted as a potential asset. Keeper will never admit to being the one who found her - but find her he did, busy carefully manipulating two minor crime syndicates into all-out gang warfare in the streets of Nar Shaddaa through blackmail, expert slicing, and the use of several different vocal distorters to make her sound far older than the nine-years old that she was.

He saw her potential for subterfuge immediately, and with the promise of food, clothing, shelter, and the opportunity for upward advancement, Elennye eagerly followed him to one of many Imperial Academies for up-and-coming young officers. And due to Keeper's careful watch over her - and her own abilities with subtle intimidation - she found herself more than capable of retaliating against any prejudiced peers or superiors, up until she was snatched up by Intelligence upon her graduation from school.

However, while Elennye is unswervingly loyal to the Empire, she harbors an intense distrust and dislike of any Sith and Jedi she comes across - at least until they prove themselves to be a non-self-centered pragmatist. Darth Jadus only worsens her impression of Force-sensitives as a whole, and so when the Black Codex finally falls into her possession, rather than give it to the Sith and Dark Council, she takes it for herself, erases her identity, and assumes command of the remnants of the Star Cabal. She operates as a freelance information broker from then on - officially unaffiliated with the Empire but often offering her services to them unprompted.

Elennye's personality - when discernible beneath her layers upon layers of masks - is cool and dry, and she only rarely cracks a joke or allows herself to be foolish without it being part of a cover story. She takes 'serious' to an extreme, and flippant remarks often irritate her - but her practical nature and genuine concern for the success and wellbeing of her colleagues means that she's uniquely skilled at giving advice and will take even the smallest dilemma seriously. Her downtime - rare though it is - is usually spent reading or writing, and she has several articles on culture and psychology published under a penname in a few of the Empire's more prominent scholarly journals. She's also a mean shot at darts and most casino games, though she'd never admit to enjoying them.

(and yes. Elennye sparked the gang war that killed Astayr's parents. Neither of them ever find out about this connection)

#swtor oc #swtor #star wars the old republic #imperial agent #swtor imperial agent #zabrak oc #elennye #elennye trizz #imp agent #she! #she romances vaylin eventually #and she's key in unfucking Corrain's mind #given she's been subject to Castellan restraints herself #mostly though her role is that she ends up stealing Corrain's mother from the Imperial navy and keeping her as a medic #and Corrain's mom ends up teaching Raina how to use the Force a little bit since she's a former Scion and all #it's fun actually

[timehascomeagain]

I am not doing well at all im so behind in school i genuinely feel like i am fucking drowning😂 i have spent years destroying my relationship with my body without even realising it and i dont know how to find my way back🤣 im staring tens of thousands of pounds of debt in the face with no fucking idea what i actually want😂 what i really want is to write but i really genuinely dont want to do it for a job like i dont want the freelance writer online cv and bending over backwards to survive doing unpaid internships and life removed from real jobs that people work offline but i dont want to be a barista forever😂😂😂😂 i cant ever relax i am always in this state of waiting always waiting artificial light cascading, i am always needed by someone and theres always something waiting always😂 I want to go home and lie in my bed and forget about school forever i literally dont think i can do today im so upset about everything

#not doing well folks. not doing well

[loominggaia]

"There is only one situation where a crewman is forced to serve their full sentence: they did something genuinely fucked up and probably should sit in the clink for a while to think about what they did. This is very rare, but it's happened once or twice in FGG history." Tell me more! Who fucked up and what did they do?

(Anon is referring to this question)

The Freelance Good Guys pride themselves in being "ethical". They hold themselves to a higher moral standard than your typical mercenaries, meaning they don't steal, rape, destroy property, slack off, or scam anyone. Hiring mercenaries is often a last resort because clients expect this kind of shitty behavior from them, but that's how the Freelance Good Guys have gotten so successful. They have built a good, trustworthy reputation with their clients, and word of mouth spreads fast.

That said, even the Freelance Good Guys aren't perfect. They do fuck up from time to time and do things they aren't proud of. They are flawed people just like everyone else, and sometimes they have bad judgement.

Incident #1

Glenvar used to have serious, uncontrolled rage issues when he was younger. Evan and Lukas almost abandoned him at several points because he was so hard to control, he was like a feral animal. He used to lose his temper and attack people, including his own crewmates. One day after a difficult job, the crew stopped at a bar for drinks. It was just Evan, Lukas, and a teenage Glenvar at this time.

Well, some random drunk started mouthing off to Glenvar, making fun of his height. Glenvar got mad and hopped up to fight the guy. This wasn't unusual, and usually Evan and Lukas restrained him and de-escalated the situation whenever this happened. But this time, Lukas was in the bathroom and Evan was somewhere across the room, so neither of them were there to stop Glen when he went apeshit and attacked the guy with a broken beer bottle, stabbing him several times.

The man was seriously injured and Glenvar was taken to Folkvaran jail, where he was sentenced to 6 months. Evan and Lukas, tired of Glenvar's behavior, decided to let him suffer the consequences of his own actions this time. They told him they'd return for him in 6 months and left.

Glenvar was heartbroken, feeling utterly betrayed. He tossed about in his cell for half a year, believing they were never coming back for him and he was just going to be released into the cold, unforgiving world with nothing and no one.

Then, on the morning of his release, Evan and Lukas showed up. Glenvar couldn't believe it! He thought for sure they had given up on him, but they actually returned just like they said they would, and they accepted him back into the crew with open arms...under one condition: he had to get his violent behavior under control.

Glenvar agreed to try his best. He still suffers violent outbursts to this day, but not nearly as much as he used to, because he is making an honest effort to curb them. Even if he doesn't always succeed, his crewmen see him trying his best and decided they will always support him so long as he never stops trying.

Incident #2

Alaine was arrested for prostitution in Folkvar Kingdom. Now, prostitution is actually legal here, but only if you have a license. Alaine didn't have one and she got caught by an undercover officer. Evan was pretty disappointed because he had no idea she was doing that in the first place. He thought she gave that up when she joined the crew, but she claimed she just wanted some extra spending money and that was an easy, familiar way to go about getting it.

The sentence was only 3 weeks in jail, so Evan decided to let her serve it. Evan personally doesn't like the act of prostitution and believes it's immoral. But that's not really why he refused to bail Alaine out. Mostly he was upset with her because she was dishonest with him and the rest of the crew. It's against Good Guy code to break the local law of whatever kingdom they're in at the time. She deliberately broke the rules, which was disrespectful to the crew.

Alaine had no argument. She admitted she made the wrong choice, agreed to serve her full sentence, and join the crew when she was released.

Many years later, Alaine would fall back into prostitution again, this time under much more dire circumstances. She didn't get caught by law enforcement that time, but Evan still expressed disappointment in her and asked her to stop.

There were probably a small handful of other incidents, but those are the ones I can think of right now!

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

#ask #askliterature