#this is just a practice tbh. there's even a better one in progress!! uhh I hope.

[meruz]

Aforementioned long ask post please excuse me while i try to figure out tumblr's new text editor. I’ll get into the art meme questions first and then the rest at the end.

Ok first of all thank you all for sending in questions! Giving me an excuse to talk hehe. I’ll address these in number order. Here’s a link to the ask meme for reference but also I’ll restate the question for ease of reading.

1. When did you get into art?

Super cliche answer but I don’t remember a time where I WASN’T the weird art kid! I started keeping a dedicated sketchbook when I was about 12? But here’s a page from my kindergarten journal about what I want to be when I grow up.

2. What art-related sites have you ever signed up for? 

LOL this is a weird question. Not sure why so many people want to know. Anyways I definitely had a dA. more than one dA account. I used to browse oekakis when I was a kid but I think I was only signed up to some small ones that internet friends owned. What else...? Mangabullet,Tegakie, Paintberri, iscribble back when that was a thing, instagram if that COUNTs, I used to post art on livejournal and dreamwidth too. Patreon, I guess. Gumroad, inprnt, bigcartel, storenvy all for selling stuff.

In terms of resources.. I have a schoolism account that I’m sharing with friends. Used to take classes on coursera for free. I signed up to textures.com for work recently haha. I can’t remember if I ever had an account on posemaniacs. Did they have accounts...? I definitely used to visit all the time.

3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.

Alright here’s me actually logging into my old deviantart account. These are from September 2008 So I was 13 years old. I don’t have a deviantart account from before then because 13 was the required age for having an account and I didn’t want to lie about my age because I wanted people to be impressed by how young yet clearly incredible at art I was LOL.

4. What defines your artistic style?

You guys are probably more equipped to answer this than me but uh... I wanna say... Focus on colors. And... a slightly heavy hand? Like confident... not always well-considered mark making HAH...

Also I think I have a pretty healthy mix of american comics/manga influences. I feel like people who are into american comics always think my art is too manga and people who are into anime/manga always think my art is too american. And I’m taking that as a good sign.

5. Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?

I like to think I switch it up a bunch! I mean, these are pretty different, right?

I think I’ve mentioned this before but one thing I really took away from art school is that, for an illustrator at least, art style shouldn’t be consistent. Your greatest weapon is changing the aspects of your style based on the task, the emotions and message you want to illustrate etc. So depending on the project I’m working on, the fandom I’m drawing for, whether I want something to be funny or serious or dramatic, I’ll change things about my style all the time.

One thing I don’t rly post on here is really tight polished work and that’s because I do that for my day job haha. If you’re not paying me... I’m probably not gonna color in the lines.

6. What levels of artistic education have you had?

I have a whole ass diploma LOL. Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration. from the Rhode Island School of Design. And I had a great college experience tbh. Besides the student loans. If any of you guys are thinking about art school feel free to e-mail or message me questions or concerns, I’ll be happy to help. Be as honest as I can be.

7. Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

heres the wandavision kids. Uhh what else do I have...I feel like I’m rummaging for loose change here...

assorted valentines prep doodles

8. What is your favourite piece that you have done?

Well, obviously this is gonna change all the time and generally it’s gonna be my most recent piece LOL. So yeah, why the hell not. I’ll say it’s this one. I have a pretty short memory which I count as a blessing for an artist. I don’t dwell that long on older work and it keeps me moving forward.

10. What do you like most about your art?

I like that it’s something that only I would make! I had this thought fairly recently and I wrote it down in my sketchbook, it’s pretty cheesy and rambling but it felt revolutionary at the time:

So yeah. I like my art best when it’s the most me and for me. And I like it least when it feels like I’m just making something for social media or for other people’s expectations or whatever.

14. What do you like drawing the most?

Kids in baggy clothing are like my go-to LOL idk if that’s obvious. but also I like being challenged so lately I’ve really loved drawing multi-character compositions, environments, weird angles, etc.

oh i LOVE drawing the underside of shoes lol. And bandages. People that are kinda beat up.. I think it comes from getting a bunch of cuts all the time. I’m always patching myself up and I want to patch characters up too.

15. What do you like drawing the least?

mmm I try to find something to like in every drawing but lets see... I don’t like doing commissions of people’s dogs. Just because it’s normally like... a family friend and my mom volunteered me without my consent and I don’t even really know what they’re expecting me to draw and I don’t even get to meet the dog. Also I’m not that great at dog anatomy. Trying to learn though.

18. What is your purpose for drawing?

This could have a million answers! Uhhh to GIT GOOD??? But also to express myself... and also to make money... I mean it depends on what the drawing IS. I draw fanart mostly to connect to people in the fandom so if you ever see me drawing fanart please take it as like an open invitation to talk to me about the character haha. 

20. How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)

Good!!! I have a lot of self-confidence primarily born out of ignorance and a short attention span. If I don’t think too hard about how many other artists are mindblowingly unfathombly good... its easy to think I’m good too! LOL

In all seriousness though, I think the opinion a person has of their art is like a crazy balancing act, right? Like you have to think you suck enough to want to get better but also you have to think you’re good enough to not want to give up. I think we’re all walking that line, I know I am! But also I’m a glass half-full type of person so. Most of the time I feel good about it.

22. List at least one of your “artspirations.”

This is a good question because I’ve been trying and failing to put together one of those “influence map” memes for like a full month now. What’s giving me a hard time is I feel like none of these are actually really obvious “““influences”““ in my art? Like it’s hard to see a lot of them in the work I make...? But idk maybe you guys’ll see what I can’t.

And these are just a couple! God there’s so many more. I could talk about other artists for ages, from all different genres of art. Daumier, Rockwell like every illustrator out there, Dana Gibson, Alex Toth, Hiroshi Yoshida, a lot of the Brandywine School. Lots of current working artists too, Karl Kerschl, frikkin Masashi Kishimoto lol, Jake Wyatt, Richie Pope, Edouard Caplain, Matt Cook, Sachin Teng, - lots of big internet artists, Sophie Li, Freddy Carrasco, Milliofish, Angela Sung... like all my friends from art school too. I could just keep going but I’ll stop for now lol.

24. Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.)

I mean if that’s how we’re defining shameful?? sure LOL. It’s not sprite comics but I used to do pokemon sprite recolors all the time. And I used to trace manga panels and color them... Granted this was all when I was like under 12 yrs old so it’s not even embarrassing. Can you really call it shameful when a 7 year old wets the bed or whatever? Not really. In fact some of these are cool as fuck. Look

25. Draw a picture!

Man I’m so tired now but here.

I used to get a lot of compliments for drawing people smiling lol but I don’t think I’ve drawn a lot of smiling lately.. here’s proof I’ve still got it.

OK MEME DONE. onto the rest.

I read this ask first thing when i opened my computer in the morning and it made me really emotional.. I’m so glad my sketches could help you!!

I think a lot of artists on social media talk about the struggle of making art but imo not enough people talk about the joy! Like I know it’s corny but. I really meant what I said at the beginning of that sketchbook about re-contextualizing art around process and progress > product and perfection. I think its super important..! The strength of messy, unfinished, and energetic art! For the feeling of it, for the love it!

That's crazy!!! I hope you like 'em. The whole line of x-books is really good rn imo.

Hi! I totally have the answer for digital stuff on my faq lol. But in terms of drawing on paper.. it varies! I tend to use sketchbooking and any on-paper doodling I do as a way to loosen up/warm-up or experiment. But right now my go-to aresenal is:

from top > bottom

- kuretake no.55 doublesided brush pen

- tombow fudenosuke

- muji 0.38 ballpoint

- medium size poscas

- grey tombow double brush pens

- good ol bic mechanical pencil

not EXACTly sure which inking you referring to from my sketchbook but if I had to take a guess it'd probably be the kuretake no55. That's been my main inker, lately. Great for sketching with the thin end too.

You can print out and eat my art if you like. Just please don't mass produce or re-sell. <3

Thanks! I've come to accept that my art is always gonna be sort of gestural and painty naturally. It's getting it to tighten up enough to be legible that's hard lol...

uh yeah lol I agree actually. I think yolei is great.

I assume these asks are related? LOL

1) Yeah totally true. I love David.

2) I don’t take requests, sorry! But if you want to commission me to draw Legion i would be MORE than happy to. Just e-mail me at [email protected].

<33333333333333333333333333

#ask #anonymous

[flamewing]

KnB Season 1 Dub Thoughts!

Finished watching the first season of KnB on Netflix sooo here are my personal thoughts on/reactions to the dub :3

In general:

Some of the voices started out iffy but they got better as the show progressed, I think

Probably the main problem was some of the Americanized pronunciations of the characters’ names but I’m guilty of doing the same in my head so- [plain text: but I’m guilty of doing the same in my head so-]

Also the lack of “-san”/“-chan”/“-kun” like now there’s no difference between Aomine’s and Momoi’s nicknames for Kuroko, for instance TwT (and Takao was calling Midorima “Shin-chan” at first but it seems they just shortened it to “Shin” in the end)

But all in all, it’s pretty decent imo!

Relishing the fact that I correctly predicted Kise’s and Momoi’s voice actors last year asdfghjkl [plain text: Relishing the fact that I correctly predicted Kise’s and Momoi’s voice actors last year asdfghjkl]

Kinda felt like I was watching KnB for the first time! Even though I actually already know the whole story and what’s coming, I’m glad I could (sort of) experience that initial thrill once again ☺️

As for some specific characters:

Kuroko: all I can say is Khoi Dao nails the soft-spoken voice (and Nigou’s barks) 😂 sounds practically how I thought he would!

Kagami: one of the voices that improved over time. Like it started not as “rough” as I was expecting, but that hotheaded voice that I imagined came soon enough. Still a little inconsistent here and there, but it’s not too bad

Seirin: they’re all good for the most part! Though, Tsuchida’s voice is higher than I thought it would be, and sadly it seems not all of Izuki’s puns could be translated (but I guess that was to be expected) 😭 also I had only ever heard Kiyoshi’s VA once before and it was as a villain so it took me a little getting used to lol

Riko: I always thought she’d sound like Chie Satonaka from the Persona 4 anime (voiced by Erin Fitzgerald), so I was a little surprised at the more.. mature(?)-sounding voice she officially has. But it sounds great~ Abby Trott was my voice claim for my KnB OC though so uhh guess I might have to change that ;w; [plain text: Abby Trott was my voice claim for my KnB OC though so uhh guess I might have to change that ;w;]

Kise: not.. quite what I imagined even though his VA is the one I figured would voice him. Expected it to be higher-pitched (his voice does go higher occasionally but like I thought that would be the case more often). It’s ok though, I suppose it kinda works for the more arrogant side of manga!Kise we don’t otherwise see *shrugs*

Midorima: ok I will say I almost spat my drink out the moment he first started speaking LOL [plain text: ok I will say I almost spat my drink out the moment he first started speaking LOL] his English voice isn’t as deep as what I’m used to, and he doesn’t seem to have a verbal tic like he does in Japanese (which is… a little disappointing, but ah well I didn’t even notice until the last few episodes >w<). Other than that though, it works I think? It suits his character and sounds closer to his age lmao and it’s kinda sexy in its own way yes I’m biased don’t @ me [plain text: and it’s kinda sexy in its own way yes I’m biased don’t @ me]

Aomine: tbh I had thought Ben Diskin would voice Takao (his voice as Caspar in FE3H is close to what I would’ve expected) xD I didn’t know he could pull off the voice that he did for Aomine but I’m glad he can bc it is perfect

Murasakibara: sounds more… laid back than bored? His usual voice could be a bit lower perhaps, but I guess I can see it working. Judging from the OVA (and from some of his previous work and knowing how versatile he is), Robbie Daymond can definitely pull off Mura when he’s angry so that’ll be interesting to see in S2 👀

Akashi: oook so his voice is probably the only one I’m really questioning like WHY IS IT SO DEEP [plain text: why is it so deep] 😭 it’s not that the voice by itself is bad or anything it just.. Does Not Fit (now if Akashi were taller then maybe but he’s a shorty) [plain text: (now if Akashi were taller then maybe but he’s a shorty)]. Buuut I’m willing to give it a chance, maybe I just need to hear more of him

Regardless of any flaws, I’m sure the cast is doing their best and working hard to breathe new life into these characters and bring the show to a wider audience, and I’m excited to see what they do with the remaining seasons! Here’s to the KnB fandom’s revival 🏀❤️

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3

#knb #kuroko no basket #kuroko no basuke #knb netflix #knb dub #knb english dub #kuroko tetsuya #kagami taiga #seirin #aida riko #kise ryouta #midorima shintarou #aomine daiki #murasakibara atsushi #akashi seijuurou #generation of miracles #kiseki no sedai #kuroko’s basketball #the basketball which kuroko plays

[sylenth-l]

*internally prays to hopefully one day see your design take on Rezyl Azzir/Dredgen Yor since I still struggle drawing armor*

(pushing aside that how long you've been drawing? I would count myself drawing for 10 years but legit kinda have stopped due to life is getting too much on myself and seeing my 15 year old sibling doing better within only months does not do well on my already crippling self esteem)

Ooh, I really should, Yor is super badass! I really like the design fried gold has for him, btw. Those scars though...

2nd question - uhh, idk, I pretty much was drawing more or less as long as I can remember, but if you mean like ~seriously~, reading books, practicing boring stuff just to get better, etc, then maybe ~12 years or so.

Also, if you want to get back to drawing, you can probably start small. Draw some simple things, even lines and circles will be fine, just to take back the control of your hand. I once had a ~2 years break in drawing and getting back to it was awful, my brain was far ahead of my hand back then and everything I drew seemed horrendous to me. So to get your hand do exactly what you want is the most important step, imo. Not much can be done here tbh, you just have to suffer through it, until your hands catch up to your brain 😅 I think it's a bit similar to sports? After taking a long break, you have to get your muscles back in shape, same thing here.

And the thing that helped a lot me personally - try switching to something completely different from what/how you used to draw before. It may be a subject of your art or a media you use - e.g., if you drew people a lot, draw animals now, if you drew digitally, try traditional medias, etc, whaterever works for you. In your case it'll probably be a good idea to draw something drastically different from what your sibling draws. The trick is to get rid of that destroying need to compare yourself - either to what you used to be or to people around you. It has 3 cool pros:

1. You don't have anything to compare to, since you never did this before, thus you can't blame yourself for getting worse;

2. You can reason with yourself if the results don't satisfy you immediately - like, of course I suck, I'm doing this for the first time in my life;

3. When learning something completely new, you tend to learn fast at first. Basically, you don't know anything, so every time you learn something, no matter how small, it makes you feel a bit better. Then this process slows down of course, since the need of practice steps in, but these first steps of accomplishing something new help you build up some confidence and self-esteem - hey, look, I'm not hopeless, I'm still capable of learning & progressing!

Hopefully, this'll give you some moral strength to get back to how/what you used to draw before the break. Or maybe you'll like this new field even more than the old one, who knows!

And... Try to be a friend to yourself. When you start roasting everything you do, imagine that this work is something your friend shows you. Would you be such a bitch to them too? Probably not. So why should you be one to yourself?

#ask #anonymous #long post again #but this struggle is very familiar #you don't have to do any of this ofc #just my 2 cents from personal experience

[dandelionpath]

Hello! I was wondering if you had any advice on how to astral travel? If it’s not too much to ask, would it be possible to share your first experience here??? Thank you ~ ♥️♥️♥️

Hello!! Thanks for the ask, I love a chance to ramble lol! I’ll try to keep it short and sweet since I know that many ppl like the tl;dr version of things haha!I’m going to answer both your questions at the same time, sort of! I’ll write out my experiences, and explain some tips and tricks that I learned and used and figured out along the way! I think that’s the best way to make this post for me personally, and hopefully it’ll be somewhat interesting/entertaining to read!

My first time astral travelling? Hmm, that’s actually difficult to answer tbh! I had a lot of “firsts”, and a lot of my beginning astral stuff was very gradual. I think my first time ever doing anything astral, was helping to apply some medicine to Jo because they’d been injured on their way over to me for the first time (‘twasn’t the spirit shops fault, I think it might have actually been my first attempt wards….). I basically just imagined myself opening my eyes with the intent of applying the medicine on Jo, and I opened my eyes to find myself in a tiny room, very white and clinical and sparse. I did what I needed to do and got out. Every day that week, I had to apply the medicine until Jo got strong enough to apply it themself, so it was a lot of continuous practice in baby step astral traveling! That’s what really helped me git gud at astral traveling when I first started I think! The continuous small chipping away at learning. Also I didn’t really have a choice in whether I was going to learn or not, because I was virtually the only person who could help Jo out, and seeing as they were my companion…. I didn’t really want them to die or suffer lmao, so I HAD to figure it out otherwise it would’ve been awful.

After that, I started overthinking it too much, and then got “busy” (aka too lazy to find or make time to practice astralling), and fell out of practice. DON’T OVERTHINK IT. DO NOT. Just go with what feels right in your gut, okay? I honestly let my intuition guide me a lot when I was first starting out in astral traveling! The only helpful thing I ever got out of the thirtyish guides I read on how to astral travel was the idea of walking through a mirror, and even that was thought up by me because the original post said to just step into a pond in your imagination! I thought “huh, I don’t connect well with water really, but I love the idea of mirrors, why don’t I just try this…” AND IT WORKED. 

Also? You can have as little or as big of a ritual to astral travel as you want. And it might change over time! When I first started out (again, after the whole Jo stuff), I had a fairly elaborate ritual thing that I did every time before I traveled. I’ll uhh… link a post to it so as to keep this post a bit shorter lol! Eventually, though, I started removing parts of it, until I just decided to drop it completely (this happened fairly quickly, because again: I’M LAZY). 

MAKE TIME FOR PRACTICE. I cannot stress this enough!!! A lot of people say that they really want to learn something, whether it be energy work, astral travel, or even mundane things like knitting or whatever, YET THEY DON’T PRACTICE. You have to practice to git gud!!! Set aside some time, even just ten minutes a day, to do a bit of practice with astral traveling! It doesn’t matter what you do, if you get there, just use that time to work on your skills! Even if it’s just meditating for ten minutes, this will still be useful for astral traveling later on (it’s good to be able to focus and keep a clear mind - for me personally, anyways). If you want to be able to do something well, or even at all for that matter, you need to practice!!! 

I personally would try to set aside fifteen minutes a day for metaphysical work. I’m implementing this into my daily routine (I’m working on it - mental health and grad stuff have kept me pretty tied down, though) and I suggest you do it, or at least something similar, too. I have ten minutes to practice energy work or astral travel (or get astral chores done or cleanse my room using energy work) and the other five minutes is my mandantory check in with my spirit family that I’ve put in place for myself since I’m scatterbrained and will otherwise forget or put off checking in with everyone. But that’s another post for another time. 

One of the earliest times I can remember well from beginning astral traveling is after I made my first astral home (which is now burnt down…….). I was walking through the astral forest that I had my treehouse in, when I found a treehouse that looked like mine! By the way, I didn’t have very good astral sight, and even now, I have astral glasses that help me to see a bit better bc apparently I’m hard of seeing in the astral RIP. ANYWAYS. I walked into the treehouse to grab something for my companion Goldie who was waiting outside for me. I walked into the treehouse and was immediately swept off my feet, having been scooped off the floor. I found myself to be in a giant’s hand! The giant was all squashed up inside this treehouse, it was very strange. He looked at me, holding me up to his face, and was giving off strong confused vibes. I squeaked out a quick, “Oops! Wrong house, sorry!” and hopped out of his hand and scrambled out of there. When I made it back outside, I found Goldie laughing his ass off, literally rolling on the ground laughing. I was a tad bit peeved (understatement lmao), but it’s a funny story to tell now.

Another thing I’d suggest you do is have a spirit help you out. Leaf and Primrose helped me out a lot at the beginning, just hauling my ass into the astral pretty much, and Goldie and Jo helped me out with telling if I was making stuff up or if it was real. AKA, I kept asking them if they could somehow show me that things were real and eventually they both got so fed up with me asking that Goldie set fire to my foot (I felt that in the physical, y'all) and Jo resorted to biting me. All gently, all not doing permanent damage. But it got their point across. Also I stopped being annoying and insecure, so it worked out for all parties involved lmao. Get spirits to help you out, in whatever manner that looks like for you! There’s no one who knows the astral better than it’s inhabitants!

Also don’t question yourself, especially at the beginning. It’s going to be weird, it’s going to be confusing, and it’s going to feel like you’re making everything up, but just go with the flow and analyze later. If you question yourself constantly, you’re only going to end up getting frustrated and discouraged and give up (been there, done that). However, if you stop freaking out and just go with it, eventually you’ll get to a place where you’ll be able to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s made up. Discernment is important but don’t let it get in the way.

TL;DR: follow your intuition, PRACTICE!!!, baby steps, have a spirit help you out, and believe in yourself! You’ll get there eventually! I know people who picked up astral travelling in a week, and I know people who have been trying for months, even years, and are still working on it, but they’re making progress! I think it all comes down to how much you practice, tbh. Keep up with practicing and you should be fine.

Best of luck! I’m always open to more questions! Hopefully that wasn’t too long of an answer lmao, I just wanted to be clear!

#astral travel #astral #comet answers

[bitchsexuality]

@animaliae

ok first off i’m sorry i took so long to reply!! i’ve been busy in the most tedious way possible so my brain’s not exactly my best friend right now. second off: THANK U SO MUCH these were so fun to answer!!

i’m putting all of these in the same post because i started talking and i could not Shut The Up, and i think one atrociously long post is better than four long posts when it comes to like, scrollability. scrollpastability? scroll-Something. and putting it under a readmore too for the same reasons

SO, from top to bottom:

weirdest character idea for D-N-D:

it’s an idea i’ve already had because i can’t come up with anything right now dksjfgbd, but

once i made a druid for a D//N/D-based CRPG who only cast spells when they gave him something edible (in theory ofc, the game didn’t let me eat my summoned bears... thankfully...), so i ended up with nothing but goodberries and several animal summoning spells. then i proceeded to cheat my way through the game, which defeated the point sdfgsd, but it was still fun concept-wise

also made me spend too much time wondering if the entangle spell’s vines could be eaten. i mean you can’t eat the WHOLE thing but maybe you could like, munch on it a little, or try to slurp it up like a noodle. it wouldn’t be tasty, it wouldn’t be easy, and it most definitely would not be healthy, but it’s like. the principle of the thing 

if ur asking yourself WHY i did that… well there aren’t THAT many D/ND-based CRPGS out there and i’d already played that one —several times, in fact— so i wanted to try something different :0

i mean it’s not THAT weird tbh, but he’s the only OC i can think of right now that soooooort of fits? and my brain is like, a tundra of creativity at the moment. a deep tar pool that absorbs all inspiration and drags it, kicking and screaming, to its viscous doom. well you get the idea. or i hope you do because i sure fucking don’t

ideal ending for one of my characters:

hmmmm for like, original fiction characters i more or less have all their endings planned out? most of them ARE ideal because i am fully in control of their destinies and i am also a softhearted lidle bich who prefers stories with relatively uplifting/happy endings. or tbh even the ones that aren’t technically happy are still ideal in terms of character arcs, development, etc

(i might be giving myself way too much credit there though skdjgbdksjfg)

and —though this is super unlikely and mostly just me deceiving myself at this point— i do want to publish what i’m working on rn, so talking about endings would be a spoiler for something that does not exist and probably never will outside of my idiot fool head. so i’m gonna talk about an old OC that i’m not doing anything with anymore!

her name was elina and her entire deal was that she came from a family of very powerful witches who owned a, uh, i guess you could call it an archive? or a library?? idk, it was just an ABSURDLY large collection of magic-related books, and it pretty much contained all known arcane knowledge (though come think of it, “all known arcane knowledge” can’t have been THAT much because the archive was just one room. a huge fucking monster of a room yeah but like. still just One)

so anyway, her family members were very dutiful + responsible when it came to the archivelibraryroom thing, but they were also too traditional for her tastes? like they didn’t bother practicing/using magic, or experimenting, or looking for anything outside of books; they only cared about written things, and even then they did nothing but get the Very Important Books, put them in the archivelibraryroom and forget about them completely

then elina ran into a group of other magic-users who were investigating a weird phenomenon in her hometown, and she asked her family about it, but they essentially were like “oh if it doesn’t affect the books we don’t care lol anyway it’s your turn to clean the archivelibrary now”

but yeah i’m sure y’all can tell where this is going kjdfgbd elina was the typical YA protag in that she was super rebellious, so she turned her back on her family and left her house to help the group of inconveniently yet stereotypically teenage magic-users, made friends, learned about magic, blah blah blah

the issue is that i never gave that story an ending? like the closest thing to it was a vague “uhhhh elina goes back home to find the archivelibrary is burning down and pulls some kind of mysterious water magic out of her ass to save it; then her family apologizes, they begin to respect her and she stays with them to keep caring for the archivelibrary, But With A Progressive Twist”

the issue was that after writing around two chapters i realized i didn’t actually Have a plot, so i didn’t know what story that ending would be... ending... and since i couldn’t think of anything + i wasn’t THAT attached to the characters anyway i just gave up on it

but now that i’m thinking of it again, just for the sake of ending the Story That Never Was, i feel like making her earn the respect of her family just because she saved the books + proved she actually cares about that too is, idk, shallow? out of character? 

because she believed that her family’s fixation on history + Neatly Documented stuff was holding them back and making things worse for everyone. she left her home behind because her ideals re.: magic —that it should grow and change to fit the context + people’s needs, and not the other way around— were so strong

OOF THIS IS GETTING SO FUCKING LONG KSDJGB i’m just gonna stop here and say: elina’s new ideal ending is pretty much that while she ends up in friendly terms with her family —because, in spite of their fundamental disagreements, they never hurt her— she doesn’t go back home and chooses to travel around the world instead, helping people in whichever way possible and freely sharing her knowledge with anyone who’s willing to listen and, at the same time, learning from them

i mean, the concept’s not too original ksjdbg just something i thought of super quick, and that’s just a half-assed attempt at closure for an OC i made when i was like… 9

headcanons about my favs:

ok this one’s hard because i’m not into any like… fandom things right now? i haven’t found anything that rly interests me or that i could see myself being passionate about, which sucks because i do kinda miss being into stuff with Established Content :( 

so i’ve been focusing on my OCs + original stories and such. and i’m not sure if OC headcanons count as headcanons because i control canon so technically everything i come up with IS canon. then again it’s headcanon too because it’s a canon from my head because that’s where ideas come from. okay wait i’m not making any cents here x 

but uhh knowing me i might think of something right after publishing this, so if that happens i’ll come back and edit this post :0

also just saying but if any of y’all know of something i could get into then lmk, i’m open to suggestions! preferably free stuff though... i’m beset by capitalisms

a favorite scene that i loved:

i can’t remember any in particular right now, either from my #content or somebody else’s SDFKJGBDF god my mind 😔 well i mean i’m gonna be a little bit full of meself and say that i’ve written things that i really like, especially imagery-wise, but i Also want to publish those someday… like i’ve also written original/OC-related stuff that i don’t plan on publishing, but i’m not THAT proud of them tbh :/

i was —emphasis on was— trying to write a short story about jasna (one of my D-N/D OCs, a cleric of oghma) that never really went anywhere, but i did post a snippet on my OC blog, and that’s what i hate the least out of all my recent attempts at writing? so i’m just gonna put it here again ig sdfgs (not actually linking to the OC blog post because it’s kind of a mess rn, i need to fix the theme + clean it up a bit)

if you got this far and read all of this nonsensical verbal monster: i love u with all my heart and i would legitimately die for u.

#otherworldly whispers #hope it's OK that i'm mentioning u btw!!! #just so u know i wasn't like. ignoring you or anything dsfkgsd #also if i'd answered the question directly it'd have shown up in ur activity feed anyway right? so technically it's the same #... i think... #long post #im talking a LONG ass fucking post that's not a joke or an exaggeration this bitch is LONG #text heavy #food ment - . / (Kind of? not really????) #family ment - . / #fire ment - . / #again kind of not really #ask me to tag - . / #bc im not sure how else to tag this skjdfb

[fireeaglespirit]

@fireeaglespirit @viviane-lefay i do worry sometimes with the stories I write if things might be too much for you. To be fair I dont think in any fanfic Ive ever written anything too explicit but now Im so conscious of other people’s viewpoints and being inclusive that it is a concern. Ultimately I write what I want to/need to but I am aware it might not be for all tastes hence always trying to follow ratings etc.

Replying here so it doesn’t cause any problems with OP, etc..

Ohh. I’m sorry if this worried you.. tbh this was very random and I wasn’t even thinking about fiction when I rb this. This one reminded me of a few times I went out with friends and colleagues and I just felt starkly asexual, lmao

About my tolerance regarding sex and explicitly in fiction, I’ll be honest with you…

There’s hardly anything I could say I wouldn’t read about. I just don’t feel ‘triggers’ or anything of the sort, no hard feelings when it gets to fiction and I value your will to be conscious of other viewpoints but its practically impossible to cater to all tastes like you said, so don’t worry about it much… there’s always someone out there who will feel offended and others who will fiercely love it.

As for myself, I’m very tolerant to sexual content in fiction, idk? I don’t seek it out particularly but its not a deal breaker either.

I know some asexual people are less tolerant, I usually just get a ‘meh’ feeling whenever those subjects are touched in much detail, idk some works do get nasty and bothersome because of much detail involving sexual practices so I just give up on them or put them aside when they bring me no joy but I gladly consume material with sex on it as long as I like some aspects of it. Also, I’m good at ignoring or glossing over things I don’t like in fiction… when I read explicit scenes with intercourse it does nothing to me and my eyes focuses on the sentences I loved such as regarding the feelings between the characters and subtle interactions instead of the physical/carnal aspects of it, and this makes it all worthy it.

Even so, some works might become overwhelmingly depressive or repulsive so I might put them aside even if I enjoyed an aspect of it or I might just skip through them and this happened recently to a series of fantasy books I tried to read which were actually really good but they were so overwhelmingly and unnecessarily dark and had an horrid oppressive atmosphere towards women an sex so I just felt no joy reading them? Its not like I was traumatized by its tone but it felt like a chore and I couldn’t care about it further and no character inspired me whatsoever that the world could change for the better, so I dropped them.

But its not like I’m judging it, I just feel weirded out to some things and I just imagine the kind of mind that takes upon themselves the chore to write a whole series of book which has nothing but suffering and misery in them, especially concerning women, lol. We already had this shit in history and still have in some places in the world so I kinda feel like its not interesting for me to read about it in a fictional setting, especially if I don’t feel like the writer is going to challenge the setting.

But I’m aware most people are much more sensitive… these things can be horrid for those who are more sensitive, and perhaps my own asexuality protects me from feeling it fully as I don’t even think of myself as a being capable of partaking in this (weird, I know), so I have problem even projecting.

But I did felt really strongly for the way women were oppressed absurdly and had their agency completely obliterated, so that sparked a sort of empathy or kinship in me which made progress in such book a chore…

You got my point and this just illustrates a bit my relationship to fiction and things that irk me since you were interested in my opinion… I have another example of fantasy book with lots of sex in it:

I read asoiaf even thought its full of sexual stuff but I don’t feel joy at these parts, yet the work is so good on other themes that I ignore it for the most part… but even so, recently I’ve read F&B and it was kinda overwhelming on the sexist aspect with myriads of female characters turned into child brides and raped and dying at their childbirth repeatedly it just got very tiresome and repetitive near the end, because there where almost no counterpoints to it, unlike in the main series where the situation is dire for women but we have characters challenging it more often and idk. F&B just lacked on that front.

So, this shows a bit my sensitivity towards sex is more related to sexism and the feeling that women are confined to their reproductive aspects: motherhood, childbearing, marriage, sensuality, etc.. I don’t have a problem with sexual intercourse per se as you can see, but that’s from my unique point of view and I know some asexuals are more repulsed towards it, but you asked my opinion…

So, if its consensual sex: its not my cup of tea but I don’t feel like its a deal breaker…

Just to give you a positive sex example: when I see an OTP of mine getting to the point of having sex I think its pretty sweet, like when Jon and Dany consummated their love on that boat… I was happy for them, for all that it means, the symbolism between the union of ice and fire and just two characters which I love dearly, finding happiness and comfort in each other. What’s not to love about it??

This is a rare stance I can say I saw a pair I ship get to that point xD

I love shipping as you know, but its more about the psychological aspects and potential for character development and even when I’m reading fanfic about my OTPs I enjoy more the angst and symbolism than the ‘hot’ parts which usually just makes me go ‘meh’ (again).

So this makes me say: when sex is the focus of works I could feel like I’m too asexual for this, even if it regards an OTP, it just doesn’t have a very exciting effect on me or I’m not explicitly interested in this part of a relationship, when so many other things caught my eye… sometimes subtle interactions and dialogue and and gentle approximation (touches, caresses, kissing, etc..) is so much more exciting for me to read about than the ‘thing’ itself, lol.

To sum it up: when its there just for p*rn or even worse, shock value it just makes me go ‘meh’ or ‘ugh’ or ‘uhh why am I even reading this?’

This reminds me of Vivi’s take on the ‘hiero gamos’, in this case I just say I might even enjoy the theme as long as the scenes involving sex are meaningful and passionate and the aspect I value the most about them are sublime and platonic instead of carnal but I’m aware the carnal aspects are very important for the characters and the audience so I also worry when I get to show my stories people will think they lack sexual content ^^  I get you.

Now that you know my feelings towards sex in fiction, to a broader sense I just wanted to say..

There’s no way to guess people’s sensitives but it doesn’t mean you need to walk on eggshells afraid to trigger people all the time, hell no! I’m all for freedom of creation. At least around me there are no metaphorical ‘eggshells’.

Everyone has their own set of opinions which makes them unique, not just me, I mean…  even so I will let my snowflake syndrome show but I’m quite peculiar if you could say, so I sort of grew a strong ‘carapace’ towards the world as I deal with people with completely different views and values on a daily basis which might make me have inflamed political opinions while at the same time, I’m very flexible and forgiving when it comes to fiction in general.

I don’t expect much of the population to be like this so I’m also self conscious when it gets to writing my own stuff because I know people can feel very strongly about it and you’ve seen the way fandom reacts to minor things and bash creators when they perceive flaws in their work… I’m just not a judgmental person, its not in my nature. I just ignore things in fiction if I don’t like and I became even more relaxed over time in regards to this all, lol I nearly reached a ‘nirvana’ as I don’t even feel strongly negative feelings in regard to this.

Snarky and bitter comments from time to time? Yes… but no hard feelings. RL needs my hatred, lol so I don’t have it to spare with fiction any longer.

Anyway, on an unrelated sub note… as you might have noticed, I don’t feel comfortable about current fandom trends and specially policing, and with reason as this gets very serious and quick with literally ‘wave chain reactions’ of hatred sparked apparently from nowhere. I hope people could create more freely instead of the political correct police and restraining of creativity we have now. It was good for a while and I’m all for diversity and change in status quo (for the better), but I think this has gone too far and I perceive a lot of rigidity in fiction right now due to fear of fandom backlash we have creators afraid to make their thing and afraid it isn’t ‘inclusive or progressive’ enough… so they bend themselves endlessly until fandom ‘approves’ them, but even so someone is bound to scream and say the work is offensive and the cycle of hatred is restarted.

I know this reply was like a huge egocentric monologue and I strained with non related issues at the end, but you asked my thought on this so I tried to convey it with detail.. including things related to the perception we have concerning fictional themes and I just kinda had to vent at some parts of it.

etc…. This doesn’t mean I forbid judgment from others or criticism or that I forbid people from harshly criticizing works of fiction, just that sometimes it gets more harmful than beneficial and scare people off, and I felt like saying that.

Anyway,,, just want to say nonetheless I find it very sweet and considerate that you are taking different opinions in mind while writing, but you don’t need to worry at least from my part, and I don’t think you ever got even close to being explicit in your writings so there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.

#beyond-far-horizons

[urfavmurtad]

What is your opinion on arguments that claim the islamic golden age proves islam isn't anti-science or "problematic"?

I read this article a year ago and I’m glad I bookmarked it bc it says pretty much my exact thoughts on this topic. First lemme just get this part out of the way:

Like many other concepts that shape our understanding of medieval history, the idea of a “Muslim Golden Age” is a historiographical construct. It promotes the notion that, until at least the early thirteenth century, the Muslim world experienced an era of unprecedented stability, prosperity, and cultural production. … Putting aside the fact that it imposes an anachronistic framework on medieval Muslim history, its main argument that the period between the eighth century and the thirteenth century can be characterized mainly by tolerance, cultural efflorescence, political unity, and religious harmony is contrary to many of the facts that one encounters upon reading the history of the various civilizations which are subsumed under the category of “Islamic civilization,” a phrase which conceals the linguistic, cultural, intellectual, theological, and political diversity of the lands in which Muslims resided during the medieval and early modern periods. This is to say nothing of the fact that the narratives promoted by these “Golden Age” perspectives are usually a reworking of official histories that do not take into account the realities of marginalized groups during the same period. The “Golden Age” perspective is also problematic because it is in many ways reactionary and a response to the many political, religious, and intellectual challenges faced by the Muslim world in the modern period. History, or rather particular historical narratives about a “Golden Age,” therefore becomes an important repository for the “greatness of Islamic civilization” and a refuge in which Muslims can seek solace in order to refute the idea–promoted mainly by those hostile to Islam–that Muslim civilization was, is, and always will be characterized by death, destruction and chaos.…

In other words, the nuances of Muslim history and civilization are completely obscured in the face of broad, sweeping statements geared towards emphasizing not only the uprightness, but even the absolute supremacy of Muslim civilization, as it was believed to have manifested between the ninth century and the eighteenth century. It is at this point where history ceases to be a critical intellectual endeavor and instead becomes polemic and apologetics.  

The “Golden Age” is one of those abstract things that exists more as an idea than as a reality, like all other “ages” (“Dark Ages” etc). It’s important to point out that this is an Orientalist idea that was created to give the impression that Muslims in the distant past were productive and peaceful, versus “modern Muslims” (in the 1800s) who suck and must be brought back to their ancestors’ values by Ye Olde Hwhite People. It was not a term used by Muslims or Arabs themselves until the permanent inferiority/superiority complex (we r the Sasuke Uchihas of the world tbh) kicked in last century and people started using it.

No one can agree on when the “Golden Age” exactly took place. In the earliest usages of the term, it was just meant to refer to some vague past period of glory, to differentiate the past from the present squalor. The people using it did not have a damn clue about Arab history. In its modern-day usage, there is an enormous range from like… 700 AD to 1300 AD. Or even longer. That time period involved multiple civil wars, plagues that destroyed a huge portion of the population, genocides, invasions, ethnic cleansings, famines, breakdowns of society–as is expected of such a huge time period, of course. There were plenty of periods of stability and progress within that time period in some regions, interspersed by various issues… so where exactly is the line drawn? Was there really one “Golden Age”, or did Muslim lands, like literally every other civilization on earth, just go through periodic growth and collapse eras, up until the present?

No one can agree on where the “Golden Age” took place, either. Every single place where Islam was practiced? The lands of the Abbasid Caliphate, in general? The remains of the Umayyads in Spain? Fatimid Cairo?  Khorasan? Mughal India? Ottoman Anatolia? What? By the 1000s AD, Muslim lands were ruled by dozens of different empires. They had different laws, different populations, different levels of development and urbanization. Some were more built-up and wealthier than others, again like every other civilization on earth. Some areas were largely rural and illiterate, others were urbanized and better-educated. Some empires attacked others and absorbed them; dynasties rose and fell all the damn time. Throughout the “Golden Age”, non-Muslim lands were invaded and absorbed into larger empires, growing the area governed by Muslims even larger. Parts of the Middle East/North Africa/Andalus/India remained poor and isolated, other parts of it became wealthy and connected to trade routes. I mean… of course?

Like… I don’t think ppl realize what a large area of land we’re talking about here. Are people under the impression that every inch of land conquered by some Muslim dynasty was not only urbanized, well-developed, wealthy, and tolerant, but also homogeneous? Not all of these places had the same conditions!! Not all were even majority-Muslim throughout this period! Many had virtually nothing in common beyond the fact that their rulers were all Muslims of various sects–and many of those rulers were only nominally religious, again just like every other civilization in the world. There were different ethnicities being ruled over by different ethnicities–I mean by the 1000s the Turks were already running amok. This whole Orientalist idea that the Abbasids were in complete control of their peaceful happy lands until the Mongols destroyed them or whatever is nonsense.

It’s all a bit like saying that Europe had a “golden age” after the Italians took over Constantinople while rural French villagers had finally realized how to wipe their asses. Hell, it’s like saying that Europe already had a “golden age” during Byzantium’s peak centuries earlier while the western half of the continent was enjoying a Germanic Rave Party. You can’t assign one label to hundreds of years of history encompassing thousands of different tribes and dozens of empires on different continents.

No one can even say what they mean by “Golden Age”. Usually it’s referred to as some combination of scientific development and “tolerance”. It goes without saying that when you’re talking about like 600 years spread over parts of Europe, North Africa, the Middle East, and Southeast Asia, the idea that all of these areas were happy, peaceful, and productive places for that time span is insane. Not to mention that there were plenty of eras outside the “Golden Age” that had just as much development. Why exactly are the Ottomans or Safavids or Mughals not considered part of this age? What measure of goldenness are we using rn, is there a table I can consult to see how many gold units are necessary to become Golden or some shit? What does “tolerance” mean when we’re talking about eras in which religious minorities were almost universally discriminated against, even in the best-case scenarios? Are we supposed to just ignore those laws, the mass slavery, conquests, etc? Is “golden age” code for when we were the ones oppressing the people of foreign lands?

But typically, when people (this includes not just Muslims btw) talk about the “Golden Age”, I think they are picturing one of three vague areas, in different continents and eras. One is al-Andalus in what is now Spain/Portugal. Plenty of people have heard of Cordoba and its “tolerance”. The second is the Syria-Iraq-Iran region (as though they’re all one place???) and especially Baghdad at some point before the Mongol invasion of the city, like 800s-1100s or something. Again, even when people know very little about Islamic history, they often know of the completely-misrepresented “House of Wisdom”. (In my experience, the focus is almost always on the Arab parts of that area, while places like modern-day Iran are basically ignored, despite the fact that this is where many Muslim literary traditions, architecture, and research kicked off. I think it’s because the “Golden Age” is usually billed as an era of peaceful coexistence, and there weren’t many happy religious minorities in Iran. There’s also doubtlessly some Arab-centrism thrown in there.) The third and imo less well-known one is Fatimid Egypt. Fewer people have heard of the Fatimids themselves, but many institutions and ideas associated with Arab science and learning are from their time.

These are… uhh different dynasties on three different continents in different eras. But let’s roll with it for the sake of argument. The article I linked to sums up my thoughts on al-Andalus (side note: I know someone who calls Spain “occupied al-Andalus” in 100% seriousness and it makes me laugh every time. “No wait only WE’RE allowed to be imperialists!!!” - ancient Islamic proverb):

Another myth that Islamic Golden Age writers like to promote is the idea of medieval Islamic Spain (al-Andalus) as a haven of tolerance and coexistence. Although it is certainly true that there was a large degree of coexistence of faiths in medieval Spain and some important examples of toleration, there was also a great deal of intolerance. In fact, some of the most brutal episodes in Islamic history occurred in al-Andalus. In 1066 a Muslim mob murdered nearly 4000 Jews in Granada (the first major pogrom to occur in Europe), while in the twelfth century the Almohad dynasty forced all Jews and Christians in al-Andalus and North Africa to convert to Islam (or choose exile); among the most important of these exiles was the Jewish philosopher Moses Maimonides (d. 1204). The works of various Muslim philosophers and theologians, including both al-Ghazali (d. 1111) and Ibn Rushd (d. 1198), were publicly burned in the courtyard of the Great Mosque of Cordoba. Other episodes, such as the Martyrs of Cordoba (851-859) and destruction of Santiago de Compostela (999), also show that al-Andalus cannot simply be reduced to a paradise of tolerance. The existence of oppressive institutions, such as slavery and the social stratification of Andalusi society also underscores this point. However, just as we should not claim that al-Andalus was a haven of tolerance based on several examples and anecdotes, we should also not reduce Andalusi history to a sequence of ravages and massacres, as some anti-Islamic thinkers have done.

Al-Andalus was, for its early history, ruled by a remainder of the Umayyads, who had been overtaken by the Abbasids almost everywhere else. By necessity, they had to negotiate with their (mostly Christian) population to avoid unrest that would make them weak to enemies coming north from Morocco. While non-Muslims were discriminated against on a level that would cause Nazi accusations if it were implemented against Muslims in the West today, there were in fact plenty of decades in which development thrived and both Muslim and non-Muslim scientists and researchers made important progress, and there were times in which people lived in peace, even if it wasn’t an equal peace. After the collapse of the Umayyads, there was a period of unrest, followed by domination by the Almoravids and then the Almohads, the latter of whom were one of the nastiest Muslim dynasties to get into Europe prior to the Ottomans. People reacted somewhat negatively to the convert-or-die order and the “Reconquista” restarted not long after. The history of the territory is more complicated than “science and peace then iron maidens and Catholics :(((”.

The Fatimids were an Arab Ismaili dynasty that ruled parts of the ME and NA from Egypt for a couple hundred years starting in the 900s AD. During the first century of Fatimid rule it is absolutely true that Egypt, and especially Cairo, developed a sophisticated and wealthy culture that gave rise to all sorts of authors and scholars. But like every other long-lasting empire on earth, in terms of tolerance and peace, it was a mixed bag, and some leaders were better than others. Some Fatimid caliphs were out of their god damned minds, the most notable of whom was al-Hakim, who facilitated both an increase in scholarship and learning and a campaign of terrible religious persecution, against both Sunnis and Christians and Jews at different points of his lifetime. He was like the Arab Louis XIV or something. Nonetheless, many educational institutions did flourish in this era. Al-Azhar, which today puts out fatwas about how Shia people are devils, was in fact founded by the Shia Fatimids…

The Syria-Iraq-Iran trio, by which I mostly mean Baghdad bc 99% of the time that’s what people focus on, was one of the Muslim world’s most urbanized and educated cities for quite a while. The Mutazilites are usually credited as the ones to kickstart this, and this was a school of early Islamic theology that incorporated a lot of Greek/Hellenized Christian ideas into their works, to the chagrin of most other Muslims at the time. The Mutazilites shouldn’t be seen as hippies or harmless–they did often persecute other Muslims (and non-Muslims) and attacked non-Muslim lands in order to subjugate them. Eventually they went too far and triggered a backlash. But they saw themselves as “rationalists” I guess the word would be, and that is what drew them to the creation of learning institutions. These are some of the first places that commissioned the translations of Indian texts after the first Arab conquests of parts of India, and those texts included many important mathematical concepts that were expanded upon by (or sometimes wrongly attributed to) Arabs. Even as this school began to fade, it left an imprint on what is now Iraq, and huge numbers of scholars from the surrounding area did visit its large cities to further their education at various points. Again–world history is really long!! Starting in the 900s AD, it was ruled by all sorts of Iranian empires, then the Turks came to town, then the Mongols came in and wrecked shit. Periods of progress existed before, during, and after that era, interspersed by periods in which progress stalled. Tolerance went from ehh to really bad depending on the particular ruler and dynasty in charge of the area, which is completely expected.

To sum it up: there was no one “Islamic Golden Age”. There were many different eras of relative progress/tolerance interspersed with less-happy eras all throughout the Muslim areas of Europe, North Africa, the Middle East, and Asia from Islam’s creation to the modern day. And of course there were! This was a huge area and a huge time span. How much of that is due to Islam itself is, uh, debatable, to put it gently–certainly the enormous wealth that came from conquest and domination of trade and slave routes didn’t hurt, and not all major figures of this “age” were even religious. I don’t think many people would call the 1500s-1800s the “Christian Golden Age”. But whatever factors you want to attribute it to, it is at least true that multiple Muslim empires, at various points in time, did contribute a lot to the development of science and medicine. Granted, it wasn’t even close to every area ruled by Muslims in every time period from 700 to 1300, and to say that these areas were tolerant or progressive by modern standards is lunacy, but still.

The idea that there was one singular chunk of time in which “Islam” as a whole was tolerant, peaceful, progressive, wealthy, and scientifically knowledgeable–after which something (Mongols, imperialism, ??? we just don’t know) happened to reverse all of that–is a modern idea mostly promoted by Orientalists, and it’s been adopted as a magical Lost Age by Muslims who feel bad about the admittedly shitty situations that many currently find themselves in. But past Muslims dealt with war, poverty, dictators, destruction, and intolerance too. Sometimes people in the “Golden Age” were ruled by horrible leaders and influenced by terrible, intolerant, anti-science movements; other eras saw a backlash to that and facilitated better conditions and people rebuilt. Then there would be some disaster that set people back again, on and on. Just like today. And just like every other part of the world, including Europe. Things move in waves, man. timeisaflatcircle.gif

(Also if I see that “Muslims invented MATH. There was NO MATH before goddamn 610 AD” post with like 5000000 notes one more time imma cry tbh)

#golden age #islam #history #ask

[ohhkkaebsonggg]

Uhh maybe 1, 7 and 10 for daddy Jinyoung. I know that prince has a choking kink tbh👀👀 I don't know if requests are still open but rough/dom Jinyoung is the only Jinyoung I wanna know sexually.

Title: Secrets of the Bedroom                                                                        Pairing:Park Jinyoung X Reader                                                                      Rating:NC-17                                                                                    Summary:After many years thinking your boyfriend was an innocent sweetheart who justenjoyed making love to you, you found out about his little secret of coursefrom non-other than BamBam. You decided to try and get Jinyoung to confess tothis little secret of his to see if it’s true or not. Instead you woke a sideyou probably shouldn’t have.                                                                            Prompts: ❝You’ve always been a slut haven’tyou?❞ | ❝Don’tmake me say it again.❞ | ❝Openyour mouth.❞A/N: Myfirst Jinyoung smut which makes me happy because I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH. AlsoI have my recent post here. Enjoy reading!Smut GamePost: hereWord Count: 4K

Dating ParkJinyoung comes with its pros and cons. It took a while for the fans to comearound yours and his relationship but eventually you two could live in peaceand go out together without controversy. The hate wasn’t so bad at first, a fewnasty tweets but it had progressed and led you to breaking up with Jinyoung.

That wasthree months ago but one late night he came crawling to the poor side of town,banging on your door at three in the morning begging for you back.        

You had to,there were things said that night that he won’t admit to saying now since itwould hurt his pride.

But it’sokay, he may have been drunk and not remembered it…but you did.

You decidedto tag along today with Jinyoung at the studio with the other members whilethey practiced their routine. You always loved watching them dance and movearound freely and even just mess around. Jinyoung always encouraged you to joinin but you weren’t exactly the dancer.

You weremore there for comedy relief and the food transporter aka you go and bring themlunch and dinner so they don’t miss practice. Of course you loved to teasethem, saying they had to do laps or something before you go and get them theirprecious food.

It was alljokes, you would never actually deprive them of food, knowing how bad it canaffect someone’s life when they don’t eat or skip any meals. Hence why youalways buy extra, to make sure they all eat enough. Mark always ended up eatingleft overs though.

Now you satin the studio, seven members now down to three. Mark and Jackson went homesince they had been here since early hours, Jaebum had a date and Youngjae hadthings to do. Which sucked because that meant Jinyoung was stuck with themaknaes.

Who weren’tdoing much except playing around and giggling, even trying to get you involvedin their game but you just sat down and watched. A big smile on your facefading when you saw how frustrated Jinyoung was getting.

“Babe, doyou want to go home yet? I’m tired.” You fake yawned and stretched your armsover your head while standing up and gathering your things with him.

“See youguys later!” You said waving to the two idiots that were now left in the studioto continue fooling around. Jinyoung wrapped an arm around you and pulled youinto his side, kissing your head softly while mumbling a ‘thank you.

Once againyou ended up back in the studio the next day watching the boys rehearse overand over again. Upside you got to hear their new track, downside you heard itthe past 50+ times you think it’s given you brain damage. The loud musicpounding in your ears and feeding your head ache.

They finallydecided to take a break, all of them covered in sweat. They had been workingharder than usual because they really wanted to do this comeback well. Which isunderstandable and okay for you. Just as you got up to grab your bag and walletto go get them lunch Mark stopped you.

“Y/n, stay.I’ve already called someone to come deliver our food. You can relax.” You smiledand thanked him, you would have had no problem going to do it. If it meant nothaving to hear the song anymore you would. It wasn’t bad it had just beenplayed over and over again.

To be fairtheir comeback stage was nearing and so was MAMA2017. You sat back down andBamBam joined you, your gaze set on your charming boyfriend in a sleevelessshirt. His thick arms on display for you which made your mouth water.

“Did youknow Jinyoung is actually really kinky.” BamBam suddenly blurted out, thenagain did BamBam ever have a filter? You raised an eyebrow though, did he?BamBam knew everyone’s secrets and crap so it wouldn’t surprise you if this wasslightly true.

“Apparentlyhe likes to do the whole DDLG thing. You know spanking, toys, calling him Daddyand he’s really big on choking too.” Why was BamBam just saying this freely,you were making sure the other members weren’t around hearing any of this.

Jinyounglooked over at you and gave you a small smile which you returned with anawkward wave. The rest of practice the whole thing was on your mind, debatingwhether to believe Bam or not. Debating whether to bring it up to Jinyoung ornot. You now wished that stupid song would play one more time but no.

Jacksonunplugged his phone from the adapter and everyone began packing up their thingsand heading home.

“Shouldn’tyou guys go through it one more time though? You don’t want to mess up.” Yousaid standing to your feet but they all ignored you and left. Jinyoung beingthe last and finally grabbing his bag before entwining his fingers with yours.

Normally youwould have held his hand and walked to the car with him and just felt normal.But after the given information from BamBam you didn’t know how to act.Jinyoung had always dominated in bed, always topping but that’s because youwere a lazy top yourself.

He alsoloved smacking your ass whenever he had the chance but a lot of couples do thatfor fun? He does joke around about going into a porn shop and buying a dildofor you for when he’s not there himself but he usually just laughs at how redyou go and brushes it off as a joke.

Now it wasthe stupid little details that made you start to believe BamBam more and morenow. You wish you could have gone and gotten them food instead of talking toBamBam because now you can’t think or act normally around Jinyoung. He wasstarting to get a little suspicious of your behaviour as well.

“What’swrong love?” He asked as you two got inside, you just smiled and shook yourhead.

“Nothing.Just thinking.” You said, it wasn’t a lie. You were thinking…about Jinyoung’shand wrapped around your throat while he—

“You sure?You look a little pale. Did you eat?” He placed his hand to your forehead, thenhis palm to your cheeks and then using his fingers to find your pulse…on yourneck. Your heart was racing harder than it ever had, your breathing uneven now.

“I feel fineJinnie. Don’t worry, I ate and I guess the food has just made me a littleunwell. Let’s just go to bed and I’ll sleep it off.” You peeled of the dayclothes and swapped them for one of his grey large t-shirts and some redpanties.

Slidingunder the duvet which was a little warm thank god, Jinyoung stunk though so hedecided to take a shower. Giving you a smirk while offering to have you takeone with him but you just told him you were tired and needed sleep.

You playedwith your hands, eyes staring at the ceiling above just thinking it over. Howwould you feel though if Jinyoung was kinky with you? You’ve never exactlytried it but who could it hurt? Tomorrow you would bring it up, but for now yousleep away the nerves.

Jinyoungfinished his shower and came into the room with a white fluffy towel hangingloosely around his waist while he paced around the room to find some sleepingattire. Glancing at your sleeping body to make sure you didn’t wake up from thesmall squeaks and noises he was making while finding clothes.

He slidunder the covers with you, hugging your warm frame before closing his own eyesand drifting off to sleep to the sound of your breathing.

You woke upthe next morning, straight away thinking about last night and the informationyou found out about your boyfriend. You glanced over to see Jinyoung wasn’t inhis spot and instead laid a note in his handwriting in black pen.

‘Studioagain,

I let yousleep off your sickness.

Feel betterprincess.

–Jinyoung’

You sighed,running your fingers through your hair. You really wanted to talk to him, youwere getting more curious than nervous now to just find out once and for all ifyour boyfriend is part of the DDLG community. You two were just so usually openabout sex stuff so you expected him to maybe tell you all of his desires.

You got outof bed and made yourself something to eat, trying to busy yourself all day wasgoing to be hard but easy. It’d be easy because there is a lot you have to suchas laundry, sweeping, vacuuming, washing up, you then could watch a movie andeat lunch and relax a bit before getting back into some more jobs that need toget finished.

And so youdid that, but it all only lasted till 6pm before you found yourself bored andnothing to do. Watching a movie was boring, nothing new or interesting onsocial media, no one was texting back. You were officially out of things to do.

Crackingyour knuckles before grabbing out operation, a board game that was the onlyboard game that didn’t really require two or more people to play. You liked tojust play around and put things in and out of it just to hear the funny noisesthe board made.

As ifsomeone answering your prayers though you heard the front door slam shut andheavy footsteps come into the lounge room. Jinyoung was sweaty but he alsolooked mad. Like he was mad at you or something.

“Hey baby.”You said and he walked over to you fairy quickly. Hands on hips and licking hislips.

“What didBamBam say to you?” He asked, an annoyed tone clear in his voice as he spoke.So that’s why he was pissy.

“Nothing,just stuff.” You said, not wanting to talk about the thing right now when hewas like this.

“Just stuff?You mean my sexual desires. What did he say I have a ‘Daddy kink’ or something?That I like to spank my girlfriend and pull her hair? Fucking hell.”

“Well you’renot denying it.” You stated and he met your gaze once again, his eyes weredarker now. The anger that showed in them 2 seconds ago were replaced with whatyou could only guess and hoping was lust.

“Do you wantme to ‘deny’ it? I thought we made a promise not to lie to each other.” He hadyour back now pressed against the wall as he trapped you between it and hisbody. You could feel his growing erection through his tight jeans.

“So it’strue?” You asked, lips hovering over his. You wanted to make sure it was beforeyou got into it. Silently preparing yourself for what was about to come.

“Yes.”

“Good.” Andwith that you smashed your lips into his, hands in his locks tugging andpulling while his own found your thighs and tugged them upwards. Forcing you towrap them around his waist before carrying you upstairs to the room.  

Laying youdown on the bed with a soft thud, you giggled when he covered your face inbutterfly kisses that soon turned to hungry bites and licks along your neck.

“Tonight,the rules are simple baby girl. You listen to Daddy at all times and I’ll letyou cum. You follow Daddy’s orders correctly and I’ll let you cum, you be agood girl and always address me as Daddy I’ll let you cum. If you break any ofthe rules…I’ll put you on edge and right when you’re about to release I’llleave you with nothing.” You nodded slowly at his demands.

You honestlynever thought dominant and demanding Jinyoung could be so hot.

“Good girl,now undress yourself slowly for me.” He was now the one to sit on the bed andwatch you put on a little strip show for him, watching as you grabbed the hemof your shirt and brought it over your head in one swift movement.

“Slow babygirl.” He reminded as it fell to the floor, you hadn’t bother to dress yourselfproperly since you spent all day inside. Your breasts exposed to the cool aircausing your nipples to erect slowly. Jinyoung sucked in his bottom lip harshlystaring at our chest.

You turnedaround, making sure to shake your ass a little as you pushed your shorts down.Thanking the lord, you chose to wear cute underwear, they were a lilac colourand lacey but not too lacey so you could see the skin underneath it like mesh.

“Come sithere baby.” He patted his lap, you didn’t even notice he ridded himself of hisown shirt so now he sat in just his jeans on the edge of the bed. Doing as hesaid you straddled his lap, making sure to have your chest right up in his faceas if asking for him to touch you.

And as if heread your mind, he reached up and cupped them in his hands. Watching as a smallgasp escaped your lips and your hips to grind down on his urging bulge.

“Do you wantme to touch you more princess?” His voice cooed and you nodded, rocking backand forth slightly to create some sort of friction against your needy clit.

This didn’tgo unnoticed by Jinyoung and he had to try and hold your hips still with hishands while he did small kitten licks at the small rosy buds. Soon his lipsleaving them to create purple blossoms along your chest.

“Mine.” Hegrowled, hands snaking around to your back before groping your ass and givingit a nice squeeze in his hands before moving his fingers into the band of yourpanties and swiftly pulling them down.

“Who do youbelong to princess?” He asked, the fabric snapping as he ripped it right offonce it got to mid-thigh on you. You wanted to scold him for doing that, butright now you were too frustrated and aroused to even think about being mad athim.

“Daddy.” Youmoaned softly as his slightly cold fingers came into contact with your wetfolds. Running his index finger right along your dripping slit.

“Who?” Hegrowled, smacking your clit with his fingers causing your back to arch and alouder moan to escape past your lips.

“Daddy, onlyDaddy.” You whined, trying to move yourself along his fingers.

“You’vealways been a slut haven’t you?” He growled once again delivering another smackto your clit to try and warn you if you keep heading down that path you wouldbe in trouble.

“On yourknees princess, you need to show Daddy how much you love him.” You slid off hislap and onto the floor, the carpet warm against your skin as you waitedpatiently.

His beltclinking as he unbuckled it, unzipping his pants and popping the button. Theweight of the belt causing his jeans to fall straight to the floor. You couldsee the small wet spots of his precum through the black material of his boxers.

“Daddy can Isuck your cock?” You asked innocently batting your lashes as you peered up at himthrough them. Your lips slightly pouting and red from constantly biting down onthem to hold back moans.

“Yesprincess.” He ordered sternly and so you opened your mouth, pulling his cockout of his boxers before pushing them down to his ankles. He placed the tip onyour tongue so it sat in your mouth slightly.

He was warm,you could feel his protruding veins thumping against our tongue as the bloodrushed through them and towards the tip that was leaking precum onto yourtongue.

“Open upnice and wide for Daddy, he wants to make sure you take all of him while hefucks your pretty little mouth.” You did as he said and opened up a bit morebefore a started sliding himself into your mouth.

A breathymoan leaving his lips followed by his head rolling back and his fingerstangling in your hair to push you down onto him. You gagged slightly as his tiptouched your throat, wanting to pull back on instinct but he kept you there fora few more seconds.

Pulling backuntil only the head of his cock sat between your lips before shoving himselfback in. This continued, his hips snapping forward them withdrawing. Keeping asteady pace as he fucked your mouth clean.

His tipcontinuously hitting the back of your throat, it hurt yes but the reactions andsounds you were getting from Jinyoung was even better. You had never seen himlike this before, almost whining.

“Shit I’mgonna cum.” He hissed as his pace quickened to chase his high, just as youthought he was going to cum in your mouth he pulled out. A string of his precummixed with your saliva leaving from his tip to your bottom lip.

He sucked inhis bottom lips as the side, wrapping his hand around his cock before jerkinghimself off.

“Open yourmouth.” He ordered and you obeyed, his cum coming out in short ribbons as somelanded in your mouth and some along your cheeks and chin. Some even drippingdown on your chest.

He tuggedwhat was left out of him, watching as it dripped onto the carpet causing a wetpatch to appear.

“Get up.”You stood up from your spot, you had been sitting on your ass and knees whileon the floor to avoid having carpet burn later.

As you movedJinyoung saw he wasn’t the only one who left a wet spot on the carpet.

“Looks likesomeone was enjoying themselves.” He said with a smirk while you turned adarker shade of red.

“Open yourlegs princess.” He said and you kept them closed, wanting to tease him with asmirk playing on your face.

“Don’t makeme say it again.” He warned and so you opened your legs slowly, your lipsswollen and pink. Your clit throbbing and your slit drenched completely, he hadnever seen you this needy for him before and he had to admit. It was a big turnon.

He was quickto swipe his tongue over your slit, the unexpected action causing your hips tobuck up and a lewd moan to leave your lips.

“That’sright princess, moan for me.” He praised as he once again delivered anotherlong stripe up your slit. He continued the slow and unpredicted ministrationsuntil you were practically crying for him. Hands tangled and pulling at hislocks hard as tears stung your eyes.

“Pleaseplease please Daddy, do something please.” You whined, and at your finalbegging command he did as you said. Diving right in and attacking your clitwith harsh sucks and licks before swirling his tongue around your hole andpushing in and out a few times.

Putting youon edge many times, before pulling back and rubbing fast circles on your clit.

“Can I cum?Please can I cum?” You breathed, back arching as you tried to contain yourselfand you tried to keep your eyes open.

“Cum for meprincess. Show me how good you are.” He cooed and just like that you cameundone, tears leaving your eyes as you released your juices that dripped downonto the sheets that laid beneath you.

Jinyoung wasquick to stand up and tug at your ankles so you were now positioned right onthe edge of the bed. His cock hard once again after watching you whine and begbeneath him. He didn’t bother waiting for you to get over your orgasm beforethrusting in and starting a slow and building up pace.

But soonenough he was getting tired of his own teasing and began delivering harsherthrusts, the sound of skin slapping filling the room with your loud moans andhis breathy quiet and choked back ones. He suddenly stopped, a loud whineleaving your lips and just as you were about to protest but flipped you ontoyour hands and knees and went right back in.

It caughtyou by surprise but turned you on so much more as he started pounding into yourlittle pussy from behind, while delivering spanks to your cheeks. Making surethey were nice and red for him. You could feel that build up to your orgasmonce again approaching.

“I’m goingto cum Daddy.” You warned, his thrusts picking up as you said that as he broughthis fingers to your hair and tangled them into your locks while tugging yourhead back before climbing onto the bed so he was positioned on his knees,pulling you up so your back was pressed against his chest.

One handaround your throat and applying slight pressure while the other travelled downto circle your clit, your arms wrapped around his neck while he sucked harshlyon the skin, sure enough to leave marks.

“Cum allover my cock princess, c’mon I know you can.” Your walls clenched at his wordsand you were coming undone around him, body limp against his as you tried tohold yourself up but failed, leaving him to do it while he continued to pounduntil he reached his own high.

You couldtell because his thrusts were getting sloppier and his choked back moans weregetting louder, his hips stuttering as he coated your walls with his seed.Stopping his hips finally and pulling out before laying down under the coverswith you.

“How comeyou never showed me that side of you before?” You asked snuggling into his sideas he ran his fingers over your arm softly.

“I justthought you would think I was weird or something.” He admitted and you lookedup to meet his gaze.

“Jinyoungyou’ve always been a weirdo in my eyes, but you’re also the one I love and Iwould never judge or think you were weird.” You then kissed his bruised lipssoftly, snuggling back down into his side and falling asleep in his arms.

You wereslightly mad at Jinyoung the next day, your marks obvious and he just had todrag you to the studio once again. Resulting in your having to wear a scarfthat went right up to your chin. You walked in and sat down, earning looks fromthe other members as they saw your obviously large scarf.

“Y/n is alittle sick. So she needs to stay warm.” Jinyoung covered and the others seemedto buy it, BamBam came over and sat next to you. You held a stern and annoyedexpression with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Don’tfucking ask.” You said with vexation dripping from each syllable.

“Wasn’tgonna.”

#jinyoung smut #got7 jinyoung #park jinyoung smut #park jinyoung #jinyouong #got7 smut #got7 reactions #jinyoung angst #jinyoung fluff

[dawnonice]

Writing Tag Meme

Thanks @eternalsunshine13 for tagging me <3 The answers get a little long, so they’re under the cut

1) HOW MANY WORKS IN PROGRESS TO DO YOU CURRENTLY HAVE?

Uh... one that actually has a decent chance of getting to the public someday... and four others that I can’t seem to make work (but they’re kinda fun to mess around with anyway). And the Fire Emblem AU but shhh it’s not abandoned but it’s not exactly on my mind a lot, either. Plus, like, 12 ideas that currently only exist as brief notes to myself but would TOTALLY make great fics someday if I’d write them

2) DO YOU/WOULD YOU WRITE FANFICTION?

I only write fanfiction :)

3) DO YOU PREFER PAPER BOOKS OR EBOOKS?

Theoretically, ebooks (because you can fit your entire library into one device, and you can change the font size and colors and stuff so you don’t hurt your eyes, and also they’re usually cheaper) but... I only like them on tablets/e-readers... and while I have a tablet, it only gets used for Very Professional things... so in practice, I usually end up buying physical copies (I’ve been meaning to try my local library’s ebook app, though)

4) WHEN DID YOU START WRITING?

Uhh I was probably like 11 or 12... I wrote Warrior Cats fanfiction in the form of poems, lol.

5) DO YOU HAVE SOMEONE YOU TRUST THAT YOU SHARE YOUR WORK WITH?

Haha... Not unless you count me posting vague things about my wips to my tumblr followers. I feel guilty when people like a wip and then I don’t finish it see, e.g., Fire Emblem AU  so I try not to show too much of anything I don’t feel confident I can finish (if you ask me specifically about what I’m writing, though, I absolutely can scream about it for hours. I have a lot of feelings when I write.)

6) WHERE IS YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO WRITE?

When I’m at home I always do all my computer-ing on my couch, so... my couch. :) Haha, but when I’m in my on-campus apartment, I just write at my desk... I mean, if it’s good enough for my academic papers, it’s good enough for my fanfics, right? (I generally prefer to wait until I go home on the weekend to write, though... unless I’m just so excited about the fic that I can’t wait, haha)

7) FAVOURITE CHILDHOOD BOOK?

W a r r i o r  C a t s 

(The series is still ongoing and tbh I still read it... but I’m a little behind on it at the moment)

8) WRITING FOR FUN OR WRITING FOR PUBLICATION?

For fun! Writing is my hobby, so I don’t want to make it into work!

9) PEN AND PAPER OR COMPUTER?

Computer! I can’t read my handwriting at all! And also, I wouldn’t want anyone to nose around and find my writing, haha (yeah, you COULD do that on a computer, too... but it’s less likely to happen accidentally)

10) HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN ANY WRITING CLASSES?

I mean, like, many of my standard English classes have had writing requirements. And one time in college I took an Expository Writing class (because it sounded better than Comp 2, and indeed it was). But as far as specifically taking a class for creative writing, nope!

11) WHAT INSPIRES YOU TO WRITE?

I want to bring positive emotions like love and happiness to my favorite characters! (And even if they suffer a bit in the beginning, it’s only so they can feel even more overwhelming relief and happiness later on. I don’t like tragedies.)

Also, I dunno what it is about Victor and Yuuri specifically (I mean, they’re my otp, but I’ve had otps before, and this is... so beyond that), but I just want to write thousands and thousands of words about them cherishing each other forever. The longest thing I’d ever written before I joined the YOI fandom was a little under 3k, I think? And then Victuuri happened and all of a sudden I can write novellas (not quite up to novels... yet, haha)

#writing nonsense #tag meme