#this website uhhh scares me.

[saltytyrus]

#:( #im not even kidding i could cry rn 💀 #i forced myself though my essay placement andddd it was proctored so i was scared to move #and uhhh i took 5 hours... so for 5 hours i sat in the exact position kind of hunched over #so i finally finished and stretched :') twas not a fun time #i dont know how to explain it but imagine the injection site arm pain 12hrs after a covid shot settling in... but at the base of your neck #the website said it should've only taken between 30-60 mins 🫠 #i think whoever was proctoring got sick of me by hour 4 bec they logged me out with some 'cant see your face' shit as if i even move #maybe that was the problem?? i was stuck on my 3rd paragraph and just staring at it so maybe they thought i froze it??? #i think i barely wrote over a page... #i just want to be placed so i can start classes already 😭

[funny-fics-222]

"Friends"

Chapter 1

Warnings: fluff, angst

Summary: You are ready to start into college, well crash into college cause you had to get out of your old one. What you didn't expect was finding a nerdy cutie in your dorm who will be your roommate. Naturally, you want to be her friend, but she isn't exactly thrilled...

4th week into the new Semester

"29, 30, 31, 33...why the fuck is there 31 and 33 but no 32?!"

I am in the middle of the dorm corridors trying to find mine, but the universe is playing with me today. Since my arrival, I have only had downs I kid you not. First, my "veggie" sandwich wasn't so veggie after all ... which tomatoe mozarella bread has ham in it?! , then my bus was delayed, so my next bus almost drove off without me, but luckily, I got it just in time after falling face down in a pond. So I am wet... not in a good way, shut up... hungry and stressed cause I thought I wouldn't get a roommate, which was one of the only lights at the end of my tunnel, but guess what? Now I do get one. I bet she doesn't know that yet, either. Fuck my life

"32, 32..." I follow a corner and finally get to the door that is awfully hidden, and I knock... just in case... even though the sign scares me - oop, she opened it

In front of me, I find a beautiful girl with long boxer braids and a pair of eyes in the darkest shades of brown. Actually, I think they're black. She is short, but everything on her is just so...gorgeous. i stammer for words but can't quite find them.

"I don't do drop by's anymore. You gotta go to the website"

"Huh?"

The first time she finally looks at me, I hold my breath. How can eyes be so dark and pretty. like what?

She looks at me confused and maybe a bit scared? I must look like a creep, and the wet look doesn't suit me, so I start explaining myself to not make her call 911 on me.

"H-hey, you are Riri, right?"

"Uhhh"

"Listen, this is new to me as well. i get it, uhm, but uh, i don't know if you know already...cause i didn't...till now...know."

"Girl, breathe what is going on?"

"I-" I wanna cry.

"I am your new roomie...(Y/N)" I stretch out my hand for her to shake while my backpack slides to my underarms cause of the fast movement causing me to wince.

"Come again?"

"Uhm...roomie? As in roomma-"

"I know what a roommate is...ther has to be a mistake. This room is always just for 1 person... always has been like that." She still stands in the doorway trying to be in denial about my existence. I can't blame her

"Well, I guess there have been some changes. I don't love it either, but hey, let's make the best out of it. We can get to know each other, and you know maybe get some takeout? Cause damn i am hungry. My bus was delayed, and then I fell in a pond -"

Who is this new extroverted person??

I don't come farther cause she abrubtly starts grunting and flips her head back wich gives me a delicious view on her throat...

"I can't believe this shit right now"

I scurry in behind her while hoping that this campus is not too well known for stealing.

"Hey hey relax we will find a way. I am not that bad. I don't take away too much space, I can cook -"

"We have a cantine"

"..."

"..."

"I can walk"

"Listen, girl, this is nothing against you. Really. But i just need my space. I need to work a lot, and besides, I work day and night, so I am not quiet. You don't wanna live with me, believe me" the desperation

"I don't mind that. I am a night owl as well in fact I love to hang out with whoever over the day and doing the rest at night so I still got some free time."

"Girl, I don't wanna live with you. I mean...i don't wanna live with anybody - wait, what are you doing?"

"Stop making such a fuss out of it. We will find some compromises. We don't have to talk at all if that is your problem."

"Stop rolling in your suitcases."

"Girl, we are in a college. I don't want my shit to get stolen"

"Niggah stop playin we gotta fix this" she points between us.

This entire thing is starting to make me grow irritated, and I let some attitude slip.

"You think I love sharing my living space with somebody?? Well, that can happen. we are in college now, which also means by the way that we are big girls now, so I am confident that you will manage having a roommate. Oh, and by the way, all the other rooms are taken. I am a new student, so I had to get sorted in somebody's room. I can not sleep on the dorm floor"

"And that room had to be mine?!"

"Yes apperantly so!"

She mumbles something under her breath, and I choose to ignore it. She cutely stomps over to her desk and starts working on a DVD thingy.

It's the first time I acknoledge the room. It is bright due to the many windows, with two desks and two beds. One desk is currently still swamped with her stuff, but my energy doesn't allow me yet another discussion, so I will ignore it for the first few days. I get to work and unpack everything. Riri scoffs from time to time until she dramatically puts on her headphones and listents to music that I can litrly hear through her set.

After 2 and a half hours, I am finally done, and Riri is still working.

I get my keys and turn to leave the dorm

"I am guessing you don't wanna join me for some olive garden?"

She turns around with the biggest fake ass grin I have ever seen

"No, thank you"

I get out of the dorm and stomp my way over to the cafeteria for dinner. The cantine is HUGE. i have no idea where to go first and if there are friend groups, but I am hungry, so who gives a shit. I get myself a tray, sit down, and after my first few bites of fresh grilled cheese and potatoes, I feel like a new person. I have to be gratefull for this chance and the possibilities and if that means that I am alone in the beginning cause I am still a bit shy and my roommate is a cunt then so be it I am fine here. All by myself

I look around and notice that everyone seems to have their own little group. It's like in high school. But i don't wanna stress myself now it's just my first day

I finish eating, put back my tray, and while leaving, I notice a pair of caramel orbs on me. She looks like a sweet girl. I think she might be a bit older than me, though

I smile back friendly and then leave

The campus is just as intimidating as the cantine and the library... and the toilets. There are so many groups and people and whatnot, so what does a lonely girl do that wants to avoid their roommate...roommate. hold on

I quickly skip to my trust-professor and see her just as she leaves a study hall

"MISS ARÇAN!!!" I rush over to her

"Uh..."

"Hey uhm sorry- "

I breathe heavily cause I litrly had to run to get to her

"I have an issue"

"An issue?"

"Yes...a huge one" she is in my dorm

"Okay, give me a second. I have to get to my office. Follow me, please. " she gives me a once over glance before I follow her into a huge library-like office

10 minutes later

"So, you want me to change the entire dorm plan so that you and Miss williams won't have to sleep in the same shared dorm cause you bicker? Did I get that right?"

"...yes?" She sighs

"Miss (L/N) you know how childish that sounds right?"

"Miss Arçan I swear i wouldn't ask if it wouldn't be unberable-"

"You are in College now for gods sake!" Her outburst startels me

"Listen, I am sorry that the situation is hard right now, but you have to get used to each other. You have to understand that this is not typical. I mean, changing to an amazing university and getting a place? be happy you can even be here"

"I am..."

"Then both of you get ur act together I don't want another disturbance today"

"Yes miss Arçan I am so- hold on. Was she here?"

"...Miss (L/N)-"

"I CANNOT BELIEVE HER"

I excuse myself and sprint to my our dorm. I don't know why it drives me crazy she told her I am a cunt before I could but it does and all I can see is red...

●●●

Riri is currently doing some touch-ups on her work. Tired and still sleepless from the night before when the door bursts open

"WTF is your problem, huh?"

"The fuck you so loud about chill-"

"Nah, I ain't chillin. You litrly went to Miss Arçan because of me, you coward!"

"Coward?! First of all, I didn't ask to be in a room with you. Secondly, I work SO much better alone just as you do and third... hold on, YOU IDIOT WENT TO HER TO GOSSIP ABOUT ME!"

"WELL- YEAH... BUT YOU WENT FIRST"

"Okay, wow, you are so childish"

"You know what- fuck you. Litrly fuck you riri you missed out on me. Judging from you and your persona I assume you don't have anybody. Congratulations you doged yet another bullet

She still seems tough and unfazed, but I can see a light flicker of hurt in her eye? It was there so quickly that maybe I just imagined it, but I saw it

"Asshole"

"Wow, good comeback, RIANNE."

"MY NAME IS RIHANNA"

"U ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR RIHANNA"

I stomp to my bed, pull back my sheets so quick I almost tumble and turn to the wall in my bed to fake sleep

Riri does the exact same thing on her side

That was an interesting first night I have to admit

AN: Hey Babes, I hope you like my first chapter. Depending on my schedule, the next chapter will be posted in the next few days, so be ready <33

#shuri x reader #black panther #fluff #riri wiliams x reader #enemies to lovers #black panther wakanda forvever spoilers #wakanda forever #ff #fanfiction

[eirian]

man tumblr is just. actively going to shit. i know we've had "going to shit" scares in the past and things have been bad and we've just kinda managed with them, but lately its gotten like...terrible. i dont know how any of this site is gonna come back from this at all. and that makes me very upset b/c ive been here since 2012, i have an incredibly large amount of memories + art stashed on my blogs. ive always come back to tumblr but idk if thatll stay true for much longer. i just dont think with the current Bullshit happening its..sustainable?? as a platform for me anymore.

..which sucks, bc my only other platforms are twitter, insta, and bluesky? we all know twitter sucks major shit. you cant pay me to post my art regularly on insta with that cropping + quality + algorithm. bsky still needs some development and my follower base is WAYYYY lower on there than my other platforms AND theres no dm's yet so i basically cant use it for business as of right now.

i rely on my art business for income completely. i have been getting most if not all of my business from tumblr for a while, so if i have to leave, idk whats going to happen to my business.

some part of me has a little shred of hope that maybe things will get better. we as a userbase have the power of numbers and i believe things CAN get changed for the better if enough of us band together, which it seems like is in the process of happening. but i also dont want to bank on that, and i dont blame a single person who wants to ditch this website for good.

idk. its a tough position for me bc of how i rely on it for income (same reason i still use twitter), but if i didnt have to do that i probably would have left a while ago ngl.

its rough out here man. i hope i dont come across as saying "my business is more important than standing in solidarity with those who are being fucked over by the website" bc thats not my intention at all. its just that like. i literally rely on this platform to keep a roof over my head and i have very few options otherwise :'/ it feels icky.

anyway ya. if you want to follow my bsky it's here. you can add me on discord as well (my username is in my carrd) and uhhh. ya. the future is unclear for me but i guess we'll see how things pan out

[strawbrygashez]

OC (kinda??) x Postal 2 Dude

Photos (Part 1)

SOO I really like this one official piece of Postal art work & I decided to make some Yaoi based off dude & this random guy 😎 so he’s not really a oc but he has no canon personality or name or anything to my knowledge so yeah!!! Tw ig for g0re mentions. I named him Sam!!!! :3 uhhH let me know if u guys want a part two! Sorry for any mistakes 🫡

————————————————————————

“Ah- Shit Dude I told you not to pull so hard.” The blonde grumbled from below Dude, his hand that held onto Dudes arm, tightening in grip. Dude let out a almost sadistic chuckle before loosing his grip on Sams hair. “Well sorry for trying to make your damn pictures look more realistic.” He teased before making some kinda motion similar to ruffling the blondes hair apologetically. However, it only made Sam huff before getting up off the ground and walk over to behind the camera. Dude only watched him for a moment before rolling his eyes and then starring down at the fake blood that drenched his own clothes.

In reality, there was so many different ways Dude could help Sam get more realistic imagery. He could have really roughed Sam up, brought over real blood and gory bits, strike real fear into Sams heart, and really beat the blondes jaw in, but he supposed there was no point in any of that. The photoshoot was to show of Sams skills in special effect makeup for his silly little website he had in hopes that someone, somewhere in the film industry would reach out to him about working on something together. The photos weren’t being took to showcase actual real pain.

He also supposed his fondness of Sam was the main reason he didn’t wanna do anything too crazy and genuinely terrify him. This was his one only genuine good friend he’d had in ages (besides Champ of course). So he had to repress whatever urges sneaked up into his missed up little mind to the best of his abilities unless he wanted to go back to feeling utterly alone in this shitty town again.

Dude was brought out of his thoughts once Sam let out a impressed whistle after a while of the sound of him clicking around to look at each picture. He even has a slight little grin which was rare coming from him. The man usually had a empty, emotionless resting bitch face which fit for him pretty well as a person. Sam was a huge horror nerd, darkly inclined, and loved the paranormal and real true crime stories. The only thing about him that didn’t quite fit that kinda stereotypical person was instead of a mass of messy dark long hair, he had platinum blonde hair and light blue eyes, which Dude made it a point to pick on him for, at least once or twice a week.

“What?” Dude asked as he wiped some of the fake blood off his hand and onto his already ruined shirt. Sam motioned for him to come over behind the camera before making room for him to look at it himself. Once Dude came over, he had to squint at the small picture to see it clearly. It was.. a cool picture he guessed but he wasn’t exactly sure what was so impressive about it. Sam took notice of Dudes confused expression and huffed yet again before pointing to Dudes face in the photo. “Look man! That’s pure insanity on your face right there. You look so fucking cool.” Before moving his finger and yet again examining the picture.

Dude wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about that comment…He definitely wasn’t offended or really anything like that but honestly he didn’t try to put that much energy into the ‘crazed’ look Sam had wanted from him yet. But well…whatever. He knew he just naturally seemed to scare people anyways and if that helped Sam out, then who gives a shit?

“Mm..Guessed ya picked the right type of guy for this project, huh? I know you wouldn’t want my ugly face in your pictures just for no reason.” Dude joked as he reached into his trench coat pocket for his sunglasses. The lighting in the room was killing his eyes, who turns their living room into a makeshift studio of sorts anyways?

Sam glanced up from the camera and back to him, his black expression coming back. “You’re not ugly, Dude. I picked you because you get my vision, you got cool style, and well.. I don’t know anyone around who wouldn’t be a big baby about doing this kinda stuff.”

“So you only picked me because everyone else thinks you’re weird? That’s-”

“Exactly the same boat you’re in?” Sam finished the sentence before yet again, facing back towards the camera. Dude stood still for a moment in silence before biting his bottom lip and faking a karate chop awfully close next to Sams neck, which only caused him to flinch slightly. “mm- You’re soo lucky I like you Sammy.” Dude threatened jokingly with a grin before he stood up right again. “Mhm. Anyways, I think I got some really good pictures I’ll definitely use. So go shower.”

Dude raised a eyebrow. “Huh?”

Turning off the camera for right now, Sam wiped his ‘bloody’ hands across his jeans while looking at Dude. “Put your clothes in the washer and go shower. I’m taking you to dinner.” He clarified, matter-of-factly. Again, Dude just dumbly stood there confused. “I uh- That wasn’t part of the deal. You only said you were going to pay me and-”

“Yeah? I still am but I also wanna take you to dinner.”

Dude still couldn’t really process what was going on. Sure it wasn’t anything crazy but he was making it sound like a-. Dude let out a chuckle at that thought. “You’re making it sound like a date or something Sam.” Dude said, grinning at the ‘bizarre’ idea. But Sam only shrugged. “So? Whatever.”

They both stood there, both secretly thankful for the fake blood and whatever else covering the slight redness coming to their faces. “Eh- uhm. I didn’t bring extra clothes.” Though Dude knew he was supposed to sleep over, he hadn’t really came prepared like it was a ‘sleepover’. He’d spent too much time trying to come up with a lie to tell his wife about why he’d need to be gone overnight and in turn, forgot to pack.

“That’s fine. You can borrow some clothes. I don’t think we wear sizes too different.” Sam replied. ‘Sharing clothes? Damn now things are getting even gayer.’ Dude thought to himself. The thoughts and feelings coming to Dude made him feel slightly sick, especially because it was mixed with another feeling that he didn’t know how to quite describe or wanna admit to for some reason. But.. it wasn’t a particularly bad feeling. “I uh.. Don’t you want the bathroom to yourself? You’re the one with that liquid latex on for the bloody chin thing you got goin’ on..”

“I can just clean myself off in the kitchen sink. Plus, no offense Dude but you needed to shower before I even added the fake blood on you.” He said, with of course a twitch of a smile showing. Dude frowned a tad. “Oh wow. Thanks. That’s really-” but before he could get his sentence out Sam picked up a near by rag and told him to just hurry up before heading to the kitchen. Leaving Dude to let out a sigh. Seems like there’s no way out of this.. and why didn’t Sam deny the accusation that it was a date? That question made Dudes face feel slightly warm again to Dudes dismay. Well whatever. At least it seemed like he was going to get a free meal out of all of this if nothing else.

Sucking it up for now, he finally decided to make his way toward the washer and dryer as he took in his surroundings. The home was filled with Halloween and horror decor that Dude was sure stayed up all year round. The place was just basically a big mancave which he couldn’t help but be slightly jealous of. He wouldn’t hear the end of it from his wife if he wanted to put up stuff similar to what Sam did in their trailer.

Oh yeah.. his wife. Hopefully she wouldn’t spot them out together. But he was doubtful of that happening. The bitch would never run a errand herself. Plus he could come up with some story on the spot if really needed.

#postal dude #postal 2 #postal dude fanfic

[agentfaust]

15 questions 15 mutuals except tagging gives me anxiety

tagged by @calkale @oddcologne and @dancingdreamer thank youuu

1. Are you named after anyone?

derivative of a god name. guess who’s an atheist

2. When was the last time you cried?

yesterday :D

3. Do you have kids?

no and i don’t want any children scare me

4. What sports do you play/have played?

uhh i was on the swim team when i was younger. pretty decent at it too

5. Do you use sarcasm?

me? sarcasm? neverrrr

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

EYES. if you have pretty eyes i will remember you forever (cough cough barry seal)

7. What’s your eye color?

the most average dark brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings pls and ty

9. Any talents?

uh. uhhh. i like to think im decent at writing, ive been published on a couple websites, also im pre-professional level at piano and i’m very proud of that

10. Where were you born?

us east coast, not there anymore tho

11. What are your hobbies?

sleeping, writing, piano, watching tc movies

12. Do you have any pets?

not right now :( i want some tho

13. How tall are you?

taller than tom cruise by a solid few inches

14. Favorite subject in school?

dude i would probably say orchestra bc it was like. the only class i was decent at

15. Dream job?

we don’t talk about that

#tag game #get to know me #<333

[rose022]

67. good luck charms? / 55. favorite fairy tale? / 39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? / 23. strange habits? / 9. favorite smell in the summer?

67. idk if it counts as a gl charm but i have a lil pusheen plush that i carry around every day and like ive done this since like 5th grade? 4th? actually i lost the og one then got another

55. mmmm i need to know more fairytales uhhh websites say alice in wonderland is one but my english teacher says it doesnt count so idkkkk thumbelina or 12 dancing princesses but its been a while

39. idk what meringue is like and pie scares me so the cake

23. oh brother too many but idk what i can say here ummm. just never watch me eat. even eating toast has a like 5 step process

9. i really like floral scents and thats summery right

#ask rose! #yayay ty fir thus

[sharpshootin-leafhopper]

Wait pinned posts are a thing on this website now?? Ok uhhh

Heyo, you can call me Hopper! I’m an autistic transmasc studying animal ecology and invasive entomology!

I used to use tumblr a lot back in the 2012-2017 era, but left since then. Now I’m back so I can talk about inverts <3

I use it/he/they pronouns and am 21! I also adore slashers and horror (specifically 80s + 90s) but won’t talk much about that here! I may post some fun bug art now and again though :3

Warning:

This entire blog is about bugs and inverts, I won’t always tag my reblogs because of this!! If you are scared of ANY sort of invert (and I mean any) I don’t recommend following cause this page is gonna be covered in them!!!

#pinned post #hiiiiiiiiii #what else do I put here #idk #hop chat #invertebrate #inverts #entomology

[nikatyler]

I just uhhh spent way too much money on vampire books, that’s one thing

and then the website was like “hey you wanna buy some roses too?”

I’m scared

it knows me

#nika rambles #i'm slowly but surely gonna try and buy the bloodlines series #i only have the first book and i've never read the rest #bought the second and the fourth book now #hopefully i'll get my hands on the indigo spell too :( #if not i'll just borrow it from the library and then i'll hunt down the book to add it to my collection haha #also obviously i'll read the vampire chronicles by anne rice. i have to now lol

[horrible-oracle]

just a rant cos im anxious af

extremely anxious rn abt a class ill have starting tmrw, which will be online, bc of the coming-out-and-stating-my-name issue.. usually for the firs time we either introduce ourselves or write down our names on a piece of paper so that the teacher/professor knows who's present and absent, and i can just write my deadname in brackets so that they know who i am on their official papers and the student data base on the website or whatever but obvs there won't be any writing down our names during an online class and most likely the teacher will call everyone's name from the list theyve got and i will have to be like yep that's me im present but also uh pls call me this name instead of what you've got there and it is soooooo awkward.... and ive had to do it 2 times b4 but i said the gender neutral version of my name (cos i was to scared!) so ofc they misgendered me and so i don't wanna do that nd say the long masc version of my name instead but like it's so fucking awkward and scary!!!!!!! theoretically i could email the teacher b4 the class but uhhh that's even more weird and awkward and like im almost 100 percent sure it would be ok, like ive had zero issue with any teachers abt my name/pronouns it's just that its extremely awkward and also kinda scary to come out like that esp saying the masc version of my name out loud when it's being checked whos present at the class

#ig i just need to do it and thats it #like theres no escaping it #either i do nothing and get misgendered and deadnamed every week at this class and feel extremely uncomfortable cos of that #or i forget abt the fear and just say my full name and its awkward for a moment and for the next 5 months im not misgendered and deadnamed #cant wait until i can legally change my name which is in fucking september or so and it would take some time to wait for the new docs #cos ✨bureaucracy ✨ #sooo its basically almost a year until i wont have this name issue with every new class at uni #anyway its just a class its just one teacher its just gonna be awkward for a sec and then fine #and everyone in my class knows im trans anyway and has no issue with it nd im never deadnamed / misgendered so its not even that weird #ugh #hate how much anxiety i have abt fucking everything #evgesha's thoughts

[here-away-here]

I finally got around to cleaning out all of my messages and discovering kokobot there was...certainly strange. It's mildly confusing because you can find people who swear by it and feel helped, but also people who tell you to avoid it at all costs. The concept sounds like a good idea, just a way to spread comfort and encouraging words between users. However, the execution seems...deeply flawed. And also apparently there are privacy concerns (?). I have a lot of thoughts on this but essentially, I don't think it's a good option in it's current state. I do not know if it can or will be improved. That said, the free mini courses? I looked through two of them and THOSE seem pretty cool! They provide some good strategies, which I think could be useful to people who are too scared to seek help from other sources. And you don't HAVE to give them any information in order to get the info. I know it prompts you for stuff, but there is absolutely nothing stopping you from pressing a random key to fill in the box and moving on to see the rest of the course. Uhhh so my advice? The most I would engage with this thing is accessing those courses. (and you don't need to interact with it in tumblr to access that. you can find these through their website: https://kokobot.tumblr.com/mini-courses) If anyone knows more about this, PLEASE feel free to correct me/add to this. I want to get the whole picture here.

#kokobot

[crimsonblackrose]

So many thoughts on that Chozen pretends to be a Kyoto sensei episode. I was going to put all my thoughts in one massive read more post but then realized I had way too much to say specifically about these few things so uhhh I guess I’ll do this and then make comments on the other things later as I go. (I’m still not very far in the show yet. 😅) Fushimi Inari Shrine, the place Terry mentions as a spot he loves in Kyoto.

Chozen scoffing at this freaked me out a little. Because his recommendation wasn’t an apples to apples comparison. Yes Fushimi Inari Shrine is a big touristy spot but it’s a Shinto Shrine and the pathway that goes up the mountain covered in Torii gates is open 24 hours so it is totally feasible to go when it’s empty. I went at night there was maybe 2 other people I saw on the entirety of my walk. The actual shrines weren’t open but you could still walk through and pray or cleanse. And really the big tourist draw is that it’s essentially hiking. You get to the top of the mountain and watch the sunrise or sunset. The friend I was with got creeped out because it was night and there’s a lot of final resting spots along the way and there were foxes calling out so we didn’t go all the way to the top. But for tourists that’s the draw right? A hike. What Chozen recommends is Nanzen-ji temple. Notice that little tiny word difference there. Shrine and temple. Nanzen-ji is a zen Buddhist temple. Chozen, hon, you’re applying for a strike first no mercy position and you just told a really rich nerd that instead of doing some badass hiking to go to a zen Buddhist temple with pretty stone gardens.

Old, pretty, nice view, all are great. But it’s like all peaceful gardens and what not. And monks. I got so scared that Chozen just immediately told on himself.

Hamo is the food that Terry served Chozen And omg. Let’s talk about trying to make someone feel at home while also showing off. Daggertooth pike conger, aka a sea eel teeth (symbolism much?) is what Terry served up. A website offering to sell me some says it’s at least $60 for 1 lb not including whatever nightmare shipping to the states is. But that’s not what makes it special.

It’s full of tiny tiny tiny bones so preparing it properly is a TASK. Like Terry had to hire a professional who knew how to cut this eel for this Kyoto summer specialty which I don’t think would be all to easy to accomplish because it’s really only popular in Kyoto.

And Chozen, dear darling old man, did not even have a bite. 😂 Like the skipped straight to the Suntory. Which is technically from Osaka but Osaka and Kyoto are pretty close so I’ll let Terry slide on that one.

Oh and then the swords. Terry you nerd. "Dragon of Echigo“ is Uesugi Kenshin. Like that whole part is just symbolism. I got worried but it’s general and not specific to Kyoto or something from Okinawa which is what I worried he’d have been drawn to. But essentially the guy was called the god of war and known for his strategy and a rise of industry and trade. So like I get why they picked him....or her? There’s a theory that Uesugi Kenshin might’ve been a woman. So maybe the sword will be talked about again when the new sensei arrives?

And to think the tell was exactly what I thought it was. Not Kanpai! But Karii! An Okinawan cheers instead of Japanese. I can’t believe he slipped up like that. Let alone that that was all Terry needed to find out exactly who Chozen was and his relationship to Daniel. You’d wonder of course if he’d think oh this guy tried to kill Daniel so maybe....but no. That didn’t even come up really at all which is fascinating because it’s an angle Chozen could’ve played up and didn’t.

#mumbling about shows #cobra kai spoilers

[arcadequeerz]

this website makes it impossible for me to enjoy literally anything but BATIM or FNAF.

#||Dnt Reb/og plz|| #Cade.vnt #I Cannot bring myself to get into anything even if i have genuine interest in it out of fear pf people hating me for it no matter #what the thing is because h. fear. #n im not saying this as 'oughuu people cannot call out flaws or things wrong with certain media!!!' im saying this as its exhausting seeing #fandom discourse over things im barely even interested in and thn never allowing myself to like anything because of fear of #people labeling me as Bad for Enjoying things like she-ra or whtever HJGSJH #Idk is it stupid to feel like this? Probably. n i hav people tellin me 'hey! just unfollow people!' but my dumbass is scared #to even do tht NJGFKJG ive seen people get dogpiled for less on tis website n i live in costant fear for someone to take #something i've said or done n deciding: your bad and misunderstanding me n thn not giving me a chance to even try n expain myself #this website uhhh scares me. #i just live in my little bubble too scared to branch out into other content because. HH n my own refusal to allow myself to. #this will bedeleted later im just. #big anxiety n i feel like hell #anyways im brb gotta pet the dog out n pick up the cat food #im sorry if this is all over th place im just mm anxious.

[doodlebloo]

Happy Tubbo day everyone! Here is another Tubbo Momence Compilation to remind you why you should gift subs :)

Tubbo: Fuck! Ranboo: Did it work? Did it work? Tubbo: I was so close! Ranboo: Did it work? Tubbo: I was so close! Damn it! Nooo! — Tommy: Do you have any invisibility potions? Tubbo: No. However! I have something that I would consider better. Tommy: Okay, what is it. Tubbo: Nukes! Tommy: *screams* — Tubbo: Holy fuck, shit, fuckin’ fuckin’ shit shit, fuckin’ fuckin’ fuckin’ shit shit fuckin’ fuckin’ shittttt — Tommy: You look like a middle aged mum at a beach with those glasses on your head like that. Tubbo: Yeah. I wear bikinis… That’s my thing. — Schlatt: Not you? Tubbo: Thank you, Wilbur. Tommy: Not me. I’ve never done anything bad. Wilbur: What was his- what was his name, Tubbo? Tubbo, what was his name? Tubbo: Fuckin’… Swimmy. Tommy: Pfft, what? — Tommy: Oh, you look, you look… plentiful. Tubbo: Yeah, Fundy, how do you like being gaslighted, you adulterous bitch? Tommy: No, you don’t- what the fuck, what the- that is the opposite of what you do in this situa- Tubbo: What — Fundy: How much energy do you think it costs to rob someone? Like- Tubbo: *Screams* Ranboo: That was a… I’ve never heard Tubbo scream. Fundy: I’ve never heard that either. — Ranboo: Yeah, see, it didn’t even go up. It didn’t even go up. Tubbo: Yeah, but you were 130 away, Ranboo: Mhm Tubbo: Then they gifted 200 subs in two 100 quantities back to back, which means your immediate sub count would have been over the sub goal. Phil: Guys, can we just appreciate- Ranboo: That doesn’t count on the website- Tubbo: Sit. The fuck. Down. — Karl: *in tears* Tubbo: This is Benson, he’s back. Karl: I’m crying. Tubbo: Benson is pogging indeed. — Tubbo: Karl… I have it in real life. Karl: No, you don’t. No you don’t. No you don’t! Tubbo: And you wanna see the best thing about it? He fucking glows. Karl: No he doesn’t! Bad: Oh my gosh… Karl: Tubbo, you’re an angel… — Tommy: Guys, without me, they simply won’t- Tommy: Wh- okay Tommy: Please- — Tubbo: May (x9) Mayyyyyyyyyyyy Tubbo: Where- oh, hello. Ranboo: Hello. Tubbo: Where’d you come from? Hey sexy. Nice ass. I can say things like this because I’m a motherfuckin’ beeeee. — Tubbo: AAAAaaaah Tommy: *laughter* — *captions in video* — Tubbo: Repeat after me. I am so wholesome and baby. UwU. Tommy: I’ll kill you. Tubbo: Good. Type it. — Tubbo: *laughter* Ranboo: What? Tubbo: I was winking at myself in the preview of my camera and forgot Twitch chat could see me. — Fundy: Uhhh- Dream: Behind! Fundy: Yellow? Tubbo: No! Fundy: Yes! Dream: You’re good! You won, Tubbo, you won! Fundy: Yes, Tubbo! Let’s go, dude! Sylvee: Tubbo, you’re insane! You’re an actual god at the game. Dream: Your first thing! Sylvee: Tubbo is a god! Fundy: Dude, let’s go Tubbo! — Tubbo: Take the L! You can’t get jack! You can’t get jack- ooh, ooh, you’re wearing your armor, you’re wearing your armor, are you? Ooh, you’re wear- you’re wearing your fancy armor, are you? Oh, oh this is unfortunate! Oh, what, you gonna kill me? Oh no, have I died again? Ohhh — Tubbo: Absolute clowns. Absolute clowns! Go on, kill me! Kill me! Where will I end up, ay? Where will I end up? Oh… And now we’re back at spawn. Onwards to L'Manberg, boys! — Ranboo: What percentage funny are we at? Tommy: How are we holding up, C Team? How are you guys doing in the humor department? Techno: Wait, C Team? We’ve been demoted. — *captions in video* — Tubbo: I was scared of dentists and the dark, Ranboo: Is that- Tubbo: I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations, oh…

#tubbo #tubboday #i just like . tub bo. #the clip of him in mcc makes me SO happy. Go watch his first mcc if you havent already pls he popped tf OFF #also the ''fuckin swimmy'' bit was the first time i saw tubbo live (on tommys stream) and i thought it was so funny #that i started casually watching him and then once i got into the lore and he became a spy i started maining him bc daily streams #memories :pensive: #vids #besthits

[boukken]

tumb... you good???

#yeehaw #uhhh the top bar just detached itself help #this has never happened and i'm scared #fix your website staff it's killing me

[juletheghoul]

Mysticus Chapter 1

Ezra x F!Reader Soulmates AU

I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for a while and after reading all of the AWESOME writing on this website and with some really lovely encouragement from some of my favourite people here I've decided to give it a go. Always open to constructive criticism!

Pairing: Ezra x F!Reader

Word Count: 1649K

Warnings: Language, tension? (Smut later on)

Literally my first fic, willing to tag if that's something you'd like!

Masterlist Chapter 2

--

“Stay away from Thomas”

The words were out of your mouth before your brain had a chance to stop you. Fuck. The girl you whose palm you held in your hands frowned.

“My date? Why?”

How. How did you always manage to shove your foot in it? You had been doing so well! A steady trickle of patrons to your admittedly shabby little stand. Okay, table with a glittery table cloth and a couple of folding chairs but nevermind that.

“Uhhh, yeah. I’m not sure why but I’m getting a really bad vibe. Is this your first date with him? Where is he?” You asked. You could feel the fear creeping in, like a drop of ice cold water that slides down your spine.

“It’s our first date, he’s grabbing us some food.” She responded, brow furrowed slightly, you could see she was having doubts about her safety.

“What kind of vibe are you getting?” The fact that she didn’t laugh you off right away let you know that she most likely wasn’t as comfortable as she should be on a date.

Your dog looked up at you from her place on the floor, seemingly interested in how you were going to explain yourself.

“Look, I don’t really know what to say I just feel like you should get away as fast as possible. I think you know what I mean, and I think you felt a little weird before you sat down.” You say plainly. You had broke your only rule. No bad news. You could feel her fear now, a wave of anxiety washing over the both of you all at once. In the corner of your peripheral you could see a handsome young man walking towards the both of you with food in both hands. Nothing particularly scary about him but you could feel the hackles raising on your normally silent dog. A low growl came from her direction and you put your hand on her head to calm her.

“There you a-“ he started but before he could say anything else the girl was up, dropping money on your table and hastily making a phone call.

“Sorry Thomas – my mom just called, there’s been an emergency and she’s on her way.”

He frowned. “I can drop you off-“

“No need, thanks for everything and hopefully we can do this again” she quickly called over her shoulder and then she was off.

He stood there for a few minutes dumbstruck. Then you saw something. A glint in his eye maybe? A trick of the lights flashing either from the rides or the games on the either side of your pathetic ‘booth’ and then it was gone. When he seemed to realize that you were sitting there, he gave you a smile and walked away. You shivered and noticed your dog was up and ready to pounce.

“It’s okay girl we’re good.” You reassured her and she once again took her place at your feet, but you noticed that she followed him with her eyes until he was out of sight. Fuck you really needed to work on thinking about what you said before you said it. At least she listened instead of telling you to fuck off, little victories.

“What do you say girl, think it’s time to go?” The dogs ears perked up as you scratched behind one, she responded by standing, her signal for yes. You grabbed the box you had stashed under the little table and started putting your makeshift booth away. The sign which read palm readings $5, the table cloth and the can with your earnings for the night. Slipping the end of the dogs leash around your wrist you folded up the table and chairs and stacked everything neatly and made your way to your Jeep. Tomorrow will be better.

Next day

Carnivals had always freaked you out. A lot of places that were supposed to be fun and whimsical freaked you out. You weren’t entirely sure what it was about these places but it made your skin crawl. The music playing gave you the creeps, the smiles of the people around you seemed wild rather than happy. There was a feeling of something bigger underneath it all, something hungry. Predatory. Patient.

It was a last resort in order to make some quick money with your palm readings, but it always seemed like you were walking into the jaws of some huge monster when entering the grounds.

The dog made you feel better. You had found her in a shelter a couple of years ago and had instantly bonded with her. The staff had told you that she’d been in there for a while since she was notoriously unfriendly but she seemed to tolerate you. You suited each other. What they took as unfriendly, you understood as selective, which was fine. You were selective too. You’d had to make a little sign saying please do not pet the dog but it was a small price to pay for her companionship. She - much like you - was an excellent judge of character.

You spotted a group of teenage girls eyeing your booth, and you perked up. Tried to turn on the charm as it were, usually teenage girls were your best customers. You were usually really good with them and these girls were just what you needed to reach your goal for the night. You smiled along and told them just what they wanted to hear, and seeing them walk away giggling with a spring in their step made you happy. That and the cash you were putting into your coffee can.

Just then you felt it. Something prickling at your skin, like static before a rainstorm. Blood rushed to your ears and it seemed like everything was somehow louder. Something in the pit of your stomach was roiling and you were afraid you might throw up when someone approached your table.

He smiled an easy smile but it held something in it, something that said he knew something secret and you weren’t in on it. You weren’t sure if it intrigued you or scared you. You looked over expecting the dog to growl but she was calm, sitting quietly by your feet. Okay. Weird. She usually didn’t like anyone except you and the occasional small child. She usually hated men in fact but no reaction. It was throwing you off a bit if you were honest but all of a sudden he was speaking to you and you felt like you could barely focus.

“Well birdie, seems like you’ve utterly captured my attention and I simply must know what knowledge you can ascertain from my palm.” He smiled and sat down.

You blinked. What the hell was going? Why did your skin feel feverish? Why wasn’t the dog freaking out like she usually did? Why aren’t you answering?

He patiently waited with his palm upturned and you tried to get your shit together as you slowly reached over and took his hand. He was handsome sure, but never had you been rendered so speechless by anyone before. His rich brown eyes bore into you as you traced the lines in his hand.

“You’re going to meet the love of your life.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Now that’s interesting, I don’t suppose you’d be able to go into specifics about how or when this fateful meeting is to occur?”

You watched his mouth as he spoke, and he noticed. Curling it into the same secret smile from earlier and you felt the blood rushing to your face. His eyes crinkled when his smile deepened it took everything in you not to smile back at him.

You noticed the blonde birthmark and for a moment you had the wild urge to run your fingers through it. You quickly suppressed that while clearing your throat.

“I don’t have a time and date for you but it’ll be real soon.” You looked back down at his palm and noticed something. There was a little mark. Nothing crazy but aside from yourself, you’d never met anyone else with the same mark on their palm. You tried very hard to keep your breathing in check.

“Is this a scar?” You asked as casually as you could manage.

“That particular mark as afflicted me since birth, curious is it not?” He asked with a tilt of his head. His drawl a little more pronounced. Is it getting hotter?

“Somewhat-“

“Has anyone ever had the privilege of reading the no doubt fantastic future in your palm birdie?”

“That’s the second time you’ve called me that” you responded focusing on the pet name he’d given you.

“It suits you, I ask again- has anyone ever been fortunate enough to read your palm?”

“No.” You responded flatly, reluctantly releasing his hand and sitting back in your chair. He stated back at you and it felt as though he was looking through you, you felt curiously naked.

“As enchanted as I am basking in your presence, I unfortunately must depart. Will you be offering your palmistry services tomorrow night? I should like to see you again birdie.”

“Uhh.. yes, I’ll be back tomorrow.” You’re not even sure why you said that, you were planning on leaving town tonight.

“Wonderful, until we meet again birdie.” He rose smiling, he took your hand in his and pressed a light kiss to it. You stared up at him in shock, your skin prickling where his lips brushed it.

He smiled down at your dog and before you could even think to warn him he reached down and scratched behind her ear. Your jaw dropped as she happily licked his palm while he murmured something into her ear before promptly rising to his feet and striding off into the crowd.

You stared after him long after with the same dumbstruck look on your face. Who the hell was that?

-----------------------------------------

Tag list: @foli-vora @frannyzooey thanks for being patient with me ladies, this ones for y'all <3 @freak-nasty-thick-dick-mando

#ezra x reader #ezra x you #ezra x female reader #soulmates au #prospect ezra #ezra from prospect #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fic #ezra (prospect) x reader #ezra (prospect) x f!reader #ezra (prospect) x you #pedro pascal x reader #prospect #prospect fic

[thetravelerwrites]

Dr. Mael Halvorg (Part 3) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Male Part-Fae/Female Part-Fae Additional Tags: Exophilia, Monster Boyfriend, Fae, Naga, Reader Insert, Genetics Content Warnings: Children, Pregnancy, Incubation, Oviposition, Egg Laying, Birth, Surgery, Male Infertility Words: 4029

Dr. Halvorg learns what could be causing his infertility and makes arrangements to try and correct it. He and the reader become closer, and the reader attempts to do something to help him feel less lonely and unfulfilled. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

Halvorg went in for the tests that same week, returning afterwards subdued and blushing slightly. You assumed he’d never given a… sample… before.

“How’d it go?” You asked him.

He rubbed his neck bashfully. “It was… thorough.”

You snickered. “At least it wasn’t a biopsy after an abnormal pap smear. Those are traumatic.”

He looked aghast. “I can only imagine.”

“Did they say when the results would be in?”

He shook his head. “No, they’re supposed to call me when they come back. Could be a week or so.”

You patted his arm softly. “How are you feeling?”

He sighed heavily. “Worried. This could change my life or confirm my worst fear. Either way, I’m… well, to be honest, I’m a little scared.”

“I understand,” You replied. “Well, no, I don’t. My family is disgustingly fertile. If I ever tried to get pregnant, I’m sure it wouldn’t take me long.” You looked up at him with sympathy. “But I do feel for you.”

“I appreciate that,” He said solemnly. He looked at you curiously. “If I might ask, how old are you?”

“I’ll be one hundred and seventy four years in August,” You said.

“And you’ve never considered having children in that time?” He asked.

“Not really. I figured I had enough nieces and nephews that I didn’t think it was necessary. I mean, I’m not against the idea of having children, I’ve just been career oriented for most of my life and never really settled down in any place for very long. I’ve never been married, never had any serious relationships, never dating with the intent on finding ‘the one.’ I figured if I wanted that, it would come in time and I would let it happen naturally and there was no need to rush it. Does that make sense?”

“It does,” He said. “That’s how I used to be for a good three centuries. It wasn’t until I did marry and tried to make a family and failed, again and again, that I sort of became… obsessed.”

“How many times have you been married?”

“Thirty times, I believe.”

“Were they all human?”

“Most of them were,” He said. “There were a couple of tieflings, a half-orc woman, a faun, a selkie, and a dryad. I stayed with them all until the end of their lives, except the last one who left me. I’m nothing if not devoted.” He cocked his head. “Well, I divorced the dryad. She wasn’t happy that I couldn’t conceive children and berated me for it.”

“Oh, jeez, what a bitch,” You said, frowning.

He snorted. “I may have used similar language at the time.”

“I can’t imagine you calling someone a bitch,” You said, side-eyeing him.

“I was a different man in my youth,” He said, smiling. “I’ve got some papers to file. I’ll see you later.”

You waved him off, watching him walk briskly and frowned. He’d lost so much, been disappointed so often, given up on the things he wanted for himself to help others. He was using what he had to give others what he wanted, and as noble a pursuit as that was, it was also rather sad. And what if he got the news he was dreading the most. He’d be devastated.

Was there anything you could do to make him feel better? Was there something you could give him that would make him feel less… incomplete? The only time he seemed genuinely happy was when he was with the children. What else could give him the same joy?

The boy. It came to you suddenly. What about the boy he thought was his son? The one he raised until his mother left with him? Could you find him? Was he alive?

At lunchtime, you sat down with Amai in the cafeteria.

“Can I ask a favor of you?” You asked.

“Sure, what is it?” She responded, sipping her coffee. She always craved coffee when she was incubating and downed gallons of it after laying.

“The boy Halvorg raised, what was his name?”

“Robert, I think?” She said. “I can ask Yenuno, he knows.”

“What year was he born?”

“Uhhh… 1901 or around there.”

“What was his mother’s name?”

“Martha--why are you asking about this?”

You sighed. “I want to find Halvorg’s son. He may be dead now, but I have to try. Halvorg is so unhappy, he’s just gotten really good at hiding it. I want to give him some kind of closure.”

Amai winced in sympathy. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Spending all these years around him, I can see how much he’s hurting, even if he tries to mask it.” She sighed. “I have some contacts at the census archives and I can make some inquiries. I’ll check the lineages websites and find as many records as I can.” Amai snorted. “Maybe he’ll be less uptight.”

“Amai!” You retorted.

“Sorry, sorry!” Amai held her hands up. “I’m sorry, it’s a reflex by now, sorry. This is serious. I’ll look into it.”

“Thank you,” You said with a warning tone. “This is serious.”

“I know,” Amai said, her face more solemn. “I’ll do what I can.”

“Thank you,” You repeated. “I’m sorry to put more work on you, though.”

She tsked at you. “Please, I always take maternity leave during Yenuno’s time incubating. I generally have nothing to do but keep the big guy company while he’s stuck in one place. It’ll give me something to do.”

Halvorg got the call a few days later and informed you of the appointment time. You offered to drive him, and he gratefully accepted.

“Are you alright?” You asked him.

He took a deep breath and blew it out through pursed lips. “I don’t know. This is either a new beginning or the end of the road. I don’t know how to feel.”

“I’ll be with you, no matter what,” You told him.

He grimaced in a failed attempt to smile. “Thank you.”

The two of you sat in the waiting room for a moment before being called back into an exam room. He sat there in his chair and fidgeted nervously. You put your hand on his and held it. He looked up at you with fear in his eyes and didn’t shake you off.

The doctor knocked on the door and let himself in. Halvorg straightened up, releasing your hand.

“Alright, Dr. Halvorg,” He said, sitting at the table. “We Have your results back. Blood and urine came back normal, and there’s nothing abnormal on your x-rays.” He flipped on the computer screen on the desk in front of him and pulled up Halvorg’s file. “However, there was abnormalities in your sperm sample and the MRI.”

“What type of abnormalities?”

“Well, first of all, your semen sample didn’t have any sperm in it.”

Halvorg looked confused. “What?”

“It’s a condition known as Azoospermia. It’s basically when there’s a blockage somewhere that’s trapping the sperm, which is why there weren’t any little swimmers in your sample.” The doctor clicked on one of the tabs and opened an MRI of Halvorg’s pelvic area and pointed out the anomalies. “The MRI confirms it. There doesn’t appear to be a connection between your epididymus and your vas diferens, and without that connection, the sperm is completely blocked. There’s also a blockage from your testes to the urethra. You appear to have been born with all of these blockages.”

“How does that happen?”

“As to that,” The doctor said, looking at the paperwork he came in with. “Your genetics test came back, and it appears that you have a mutation of Cystic Fibrosis. Thankfully, with this mutation, there are no other typical symptoms of Cystic Fibrosis besides the infertility.”

“Can it be corrected?” Halvorg asked anxiously.

“Yes, microsurgery can correct it. Before we do that, we’ll need to take a sample directly from the testicle with a needle to see if you’re producing sperm at all and look at the count. If we determine that the general sperm production is not the problem, then we’ll proceed with surgery.”

Halvorg sat in a stunned silence, gripping his knees tightly.

“So… it’s possible that I could have children?” He asked.

“There is a possibility,” The doctor said. “We would have to wait until after the surgery and take another sample. I don’t want to get your hopes up too soon, the sperm count could be low, they could be abnormal. There are a bunch of things that could go wrong.”

“But there’s a chance?” Halvorg asked, his eyes as wide and vulnerable as a puppy.

“There’s a chance,” The doctor replied.

As the two of you left the clinic and headed to your car, before you could get to your door, Halvorg gently took your arm, swung you around, took your face in his hands, and kissed you full on the mouth. You made a sound of surprise, but you didn’t push him away.

He lingered for a moment or two before breaking away and saying, “I’m sorry, I know that was extremely unprofessional and probably unwanted, but I don’t know how to thank you. I owe you so much, I can’t begin to express how grateful I am.” He gulped and looked at you earnestly, breathing out a shaky breath. “Do you remember when you asked me to dinner?”

“Yeah?” You asked, confused but intrigued by the sudden softening of his prickly exterior.

“Does the offer still stand?”

You smiled at him slowly and took his hands. They were trembling. This was the first time in a century he’d asked a woman out, after all.

“Yeah,” You replied, stepping closer so that your body lightly brushed his. “Yeah, it does.”

He smiled wide and kissed you again.

Maël went in the next day to have a sample taken, and was thrilled to learn that he did have a decent amount of sperm production. He scheduled the surgery immediately. The recovery time would be at least six weeks, and it was advised that he didn’t try to have sexual relations for another two weeks after that. Plenty of time to feel out your new blooming relationship and get more comfortable with each other.

Thankfully, you had a week to actually go on a few dates before he went under the knife. He took you to Dunmountain on a weekend trip to the museum and the opera. It was the first time you’d done anything like this recreationally in a really long time, and you loved every second of it.

Even though you were sharing a hotel room and a bed, he didn’t attempt to be intimate with you, and you didn’t push him. It had been a century since he last took a woman to bed, and you imagined he felt a little nervous about it.

You didn’t go out of your way to tell people that you were together, but it wasn’t a big secret either. Yenuno and Amai were overjoyed for the two of you. Maël had told Yenuno and Amai about the surgery, but he claimed it was a hernia. You weren’t sure if he would tell them the whole truth. Not unless he got the results he wanted.

By the time he healed completely, it would be about time for the eggs to hatch. Yenuno was already restless and it had only been a month.

You drove Maël to the surgical clinic on the day of his surgery, sat with him in pre-op while he waited nervously and just talked him through his anxiety, holding his hand when they put the IV in. They gave him some medicine to help calm his nerves, and he began to grow sleepy. You stroked his head and watched his eyes fluttered closed. They wheeled him into surgery while he was still snoozing.

The procedure didn’t take very long, only about an hour, and you waited to be called back. A nurse came to retrieve you and took you to his room.

He lay there in bed, drifting in and out.

“Hey, sweetie,” You said, rubbing his arm. “How are we feeling?”

“Sore and thirsty,” He croaked.

You picked up the cup with water in it the nurse had provided and helped him take a sip.

“I’m not surprised you’re sore,” You remarked, setting the cup back down. “A whole bunch of people fondled your balls for an hour.”

He wheezed a laugh. You loved it when he laughed. It changed his whole face. “Did they say when they’d release me?”

“As soon as you can pee on your own, they’ll let you out of here. They said there would be swelling so it might be a while before you’re able to do it, though. I’ll wait.”

He held his hand out for yours and you took it.

“I feel like all I do these days is thank you,” He said. “I wish I could do as much for you as you’ve done for me.”

“You don’t have to do anything for me,” You said. “I’m a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man. But I’ll keep you around. You’re cute.”

He breathed another laugh through his nose. “I’m glad. I’ve become rather fond of you.”

You kissed his knuckles. “Likewise.”

He managed to relieve himself right after dinnertime, and was declared clear to go home. You drove him back to the facility and helped him to bed. He was asleep before you left his apartment.

Heading back into your own apartment for the night and sat heavily on your couch. God, you needed to do laundry. It had been a chaotic few weeks.

You started picking up clothes that were strewn haphazardly over furniture, and while picking up a pair of jeans, a small book fell out.

Oh. Right. Maël’s research notes. You’d meant to give it back. Well, Maël was going to be recovering in bed for a few days and likely sleeping most of that time. You could give it back when he was back on his feet. You placed it in the drawer of your nightstand, stared at it for a minute, and went on to start laundry.

And promptly forgot about it for a second time.

Maël slowly healed, though he walked a little stiffly for a few weeks and was careful when sitting. He was a little more irritable than normal, but you imagined he was trying to adjust and was also still worried about whether or not the surgery had worked. He wouldn’t know for another several weeks.

The children kept bringing him flowers they found in the forest to cheer him up, which always seemed to lift his spirits. You spent the evenings with him, talking and cuddling and kissing. You felt like a teenager again, and you hadn’t been a teenager in over one hundred and fifty years.

You were starting to regret the timing of the surgery, though. Sometimes the making out would get pretty hot and heavy, and you had to force yourselves to stop for fear of injuring him.

One night after you’d been dating for just under two months, he was kissing your neck and began to unbutton your shirt. You stopped him.

“You haven’t been cleared for intercourse, have you?” You asked him.

“No, not yet,” He said, breathing heavily and biting his lip. His white-blonde hair was out of it’s normal clean braid and falling around his face. “But I can do something for you.” His hand drifted down your abdomen and between your thighs.

“Oh,” You said, smiling a little. “Are you sure?”

He slipped his hand into your panties and stroked you, and your breath caught in your throat.

“I haven’t done it in a while,” He said, trailing open-mouthed kisses down your stomach. “But I think I still know how to do this.”

He got up from the couch and pulled you by your legs gently so that you were laying flat, pushing up your skirt and pulling off your panties. He knelt back down on the couch, yanking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. He slowly spread your legs and pushed your knees upward. He started kissing and sucking the inside of your thigh while circling your bud with his thumb. You moaned and lay back into the cushions, giving over to the sensations.

As he kissed his way toward the apex, he slipped his middle finger inside you and thrust it gently in and out. You whimpered and gripped the couch, your hips grinding against his hand.

“Maël, please,” You breathed.

He growled low in his throat, sending a shockwave through your spine.

“Since you said please,” He whispered teasingly, and pressed his tongue to your clit. Your toes curled at the contact and you grabbed a handful of his hair.

“Oh god,” You whispered. “Maël.”

He placed his whole mouth over you, licking and sucking, adding another finger inside you. He certainly did remember how to do this.

“Fuck!” You said through gritted teeth, followed up by a shuddering moan, raising your head to watch him. He looked up at you through his long lashes and doubled his efforts, sucking your labia into his mouth and pulling, adding a third finger. “Fuck, I’m so close.”

Still sucking, he grinned up at you and quirked an eyebrow. He withdrew his fingers and used his hands to push your knees into your chest to open you up wider. You grabbed his head with both hands and rocked your clit against his tongue.

You came as though hit by a bus, loud and violent. Your butt lifted off of the couch as you pulsed in ecstasy, screaming. You hoped the walls of his apartment were soundproof. You couldn’t believe that he’d made you come in under a minute.

“How? How did you do that?” You wheezed.

He chuckled darkly. “I was married thirty times, darling. If I don’t know what I’m doing by now, I shouldn’t be dating at all.”

You just sort of laid there like a starfish while you got your breath back and cooled down. Maël went to fetch you some water and a snack. Eventually, you found your underwear and put it back on. Once your heart rate had slowed, he pulled you into his lap and kissed you slowly until you fell asleep. The next morning, you woke up next to him in his bed. You were tucked up under his arm and he was sleeping peacefully, a small smile on his face.

Suddenly, both of your cellphones buzzed at once. Maël snorted awake and untangled himself from you, picking up his phone, looking at it, and jumping out of bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“The eggs are hatching!” He exclaimed hastily, pulling clothes out of drawers and putting them on hurriedly. You threw your clothes on and joined Maël’s mad dash for the door.

When you got to the receiving area, the kids were milling around inside, instructed to stay away from the cottage until the babies were born, but they were craning their necks to see what was happening.

Amai was in the shelter with Yenuno and several members of the hatching team, looking into the circle of his tail. She looked up and saw the two of you running up and shouted: “Hurry! They’re almost out!”

You and Maël darted up the ramp and looked down into the coil. All three of the eggs were cracked open and little arms and tails were poking out.

“Vitals?” Maël asked, donning a surgeon’s paper outfit and instructing you to do the same.

“Vitals are elevated but within acceptable range,” One of the nurses said.

“Good,” Maël said. “Alright, we just have to stand back. They’ll do most of the work.

Amai and Yenuno were watching the eggs hatch with awe on their faces. You supposed watching this never got old for them. You wondered if they would miss this now that they decided to stop laying.

Slowly, the little wiggling figures freed themselves from their shells and were crawling around on their hands, looking up at their parents. Maël used that distraction to examine them.

“No way…” He said in a hushed tone. “I don’t believe it.”

“What?” Amai asked a little shrilly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Maël said, grinning up at her. “They’re all girls.”

“What?!” Yenuno and Amai said in unison, looking at their new little ones.

From what Maël had told you, the ratio of male to female births of Blue Gill Nagas was disproportionately skewed in favor of males. One in twenty eggs contained a female. Having an entire clutch of females was extremely rare.

Yenuno and Amai cried with joy and excitement. They’d been hoping to have at least one more little girl. To get three in one go was overwhelming.

Maël supervised the clean up process, and when they were ready, Yenuno and Amai brought the three baby girls out and introduced them to their siblings. You watched on the ramp with Maël, smiling, and took his hand. He squeezed yours in return. Looking up at his face, you could see he was crying, too.

This is what Maël wanted. He wanted to be the first to say hello to his own child, to be the first to hold them, to be the first to tell them he loved them. He wanted to kiss their brow and dance with them when they were crying and sing them to sleep at night. To get on the floor and play with them and put bandaids on their knees when they scraped them. He was desperate to experience that again, like he had with his son.

After the hatching, Maël went to file the new birth paperwork and Amai and Yenuno and their children were spending the next few days together. That left you with nothing to do.

Back in your apartment, you lay in your bed, thinking about that morning over and over. The babies busting out of their shells, the look of joy on their parents’ faces, the mix of happiness and pain on Maël’s.

You sat up to get your lip balm from your night table, and again found the book. You really ought to give it back. You’d been absent-minded about this for too long.

You opened it, flipping through pages until you landed on the date you first arrived at the facility. Intrigued, you read it.

“Amai’s friend finally made it today. It was exciting to meet her; I’ve been following her career for so long. She’s done so much for the non-human community. Amai didn’t tell me how breathtakingly beautiful she was. My heart stopped when I saw her out of the window. I haven’t felt attraction like this in centuries.”

Oh. Oh god. This was his personal diary. You knew you should stop reading it, but couldn’t. You had no idea he’d felt this way.

“I think I’m flirting with her, but I’m not trying to. I can’t help it. She’s funny and intelligent and everything I love in a woman. She’s gorgeous. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying so hard to stay professional, but I can seem to stop smiling around her.”

The next entry was the day you asked him to dinner.

“She asked me out on a date tonight. It was so hard to say no, but there’s no point, is there? She won’t want me if she knows I can’t have children. She’ll either leave me or mock me. There’s no point. I’ll avoid her. That’s all I can do. It’s best if I don’t get closer to her. Even friendship is dangerous. I’m already half in love with her, and I don’t think I could take it if we started a relationship and she ended up pitying me or disgusted. I can’t do it again.”

There were no more mentions of you in the book after that. You didn’t realize you were crying until the tears hit the page.

It was then that you made a decision.

You took out your phone and dialed your gynecologist’s office. “Hi, Grace, I’d like to schedule a consultation with the doctor about canceling my next birth control injection.”

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