#though i guess anything could happen

[beatcroc]

i already wrote up a whole essaypost about the dynamic for these two but it's funnier to summarize it like this. also it's the only way youre gonna see anything resembling fp getting closure abt any of this :^) [x]

#pizza tower #fake peppino #pizzahead #for the record i do think the frog stuff was on accident though #they kind of just kept being frogs. and nobody could figure out why or how to get them to not be frogs #and pizzahead was like well! i guess it's not hurting anything! #and he's certainly not telling anyone ELSE it was unintentional. of course we know what we're doing. #anyway for my own purposes this conversation didn't actually happen. they never really talked At All let along abt anything important #fp still has all these same questions ofc. just never got answers for them. he doesnt get to know. suffer boy #pizzaposting

[icewindandboringhorror]

... why he sit like this

#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little #rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo #cats #It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually #getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol #Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime #I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad. #Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering #all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty #e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time #that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense #that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh #I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol #which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything #I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still #recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually #slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.' #ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever #reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished #any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky #and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly #going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et #etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make #stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin #.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care #and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists. #take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc #ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it #82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol...... #ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol

[puppyeared]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing #i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though #at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself #as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed #escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date #although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL #ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting #workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety #i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back #AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO #im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts #i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem #in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material #and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school #maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess #only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard #hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms #i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work #not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall #anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh #yapping

[chipped-chimera]

Today in fish nonsense! 🐟🐠- Tank is good to go! Cool wood piece is cleaned and time to spend way too long on a plan painting.

More below the cut.

Tank has been set up, leak tested so it's good to go (after I overhauled the layout of my office ... still dealing with the fallout of that though lol) and the piece of jarrah/mirra? wood that my Dad grabbed from the tree he cut down on a farm (noting this specifically because it's actually now illegal to commercially harvest Jarrah in my state - this was on private property so it's legal) has had the absolute crap scrubbed out of it - I mean literally, in the process I found yet another interesting hole in it so that's cool, then high-pressure blasted with water so I am finally ready to think about scaping.

Which apparently means spending longer than I should drawing a plan lol. This piece is super awkward to work with I think - while functionally interesting it has a silhouette that makes me oscillate between 'boring' and 'awkward'. After talking to some artist friends, generally it was agreed I'd need to put more stuff in there to actually make it look better, right now naked glass is super harsh. Problem is, rocks and wood? Well in the aquarium hobby that shit is expensive. We're talking 60 AUD+ for pieces of wood. I mean they are fully cleaned and treated (?) and selected for being interesting, but I have a budget and I'd like to save as much of it as I can for more than just harscape sooooo planning is just the right idea here.

Thinking seiryu stone because I looooove the white veining through it, and then for the branches to break up the shape it's probably going to be spiderwood or something (as much as I love mopani wood I don't think it usually sells branched like this - but I will watch out for it) but the good part is these pieces are all probably going to be on the smaller side since I have my huge hunk of feature wood for free.

I don't know how this piece of wood will interact with inhabitants, I've soaked it for probably a month at this point to get a large amount of the tannins out (and I know it waterlogs, which is great because I won't have to play 'how long will this take to sink') but also to help the looser material come off so all I'm left with now is the hard stuff. It's also now sitting in the sun (and I mean sun - it is going to be 40C today and the next few days so that shit is gonna bake 💀) but prior to that has been sitting in the sun either here or the farm for a total of about idk ... at least a month? Maybe more?

I've struggled to find information on whether Jarrah or Mirra wood is safe beyond one post on a forum where someone-who-knew-someone at a local fish shop had put a piece of this in his store tank and all the fish died. Beyond that? no more context. According to my freshwater ecologist friend I caught up with, she thinks it's probably going to be okay given the amount of time/work put in. I have not done a bleach soak and I don't think I really need to given the amount of time it's been soaking in regular tap water (so already contains chlorine) and sun exposure. There will still probably be tannin leakage into the water but I'm okay with having a mild blackwater tank after seeing one in my LFS, I actually like the slight tannin tint of water and how it makes everything a little 'softer'. But I do ACTUALLY want to be able to see though lmao. I've also seen Jarrah seed pods sold locally specifically for blackwater tank setups so it might be fine?

Either way the plan is going to be: Scape, plant, cycle and then introduction of some cheap shrimp as my poor guinea pigs to see if that wood actually is awful.

Right now I'll just have to painstakingly go through plant choices and placement and making sure it lines up with the planned parameters for the community. I absolutely will take suggestions btw.

More soon. Fish nonsense will contain fish ... at some point. I swear lmao.

#kerytalk #aquablr #fishblr #my art #I guess even though this is a grossly overconfident doodle #aquascaping #yes that is a sandpit for enrichment #though I'm debating corydoras #I worry tetras + corydoras might be too much schooling happening for the eventual last edition - Betta fish #if not then it'll be tetras + one pleco #... I swear I saw a video of a pleco thoroughly enjoying burrowing in sand - I'd love that #yes all of this is primarily because I want a betta #but if I only get one tank ... go hard or go home right? #ngl considering getting a small 5-10 gallon for my bedroom for shrimp breeding so that could be a feasible second plan #in case the betta is an asshole #do not tell my parents lmao #I'd love a male in the tank but know it's probably not going to work so female is more likely - or at least plakat type #it's got quite a bit of height to traverse so I don't think anything with super big fins would be great - especially with age #even if I basically have a stepped up network of holes in this wood right to where it nearly touches the surface

[coquelicoq]

dammit. loved the end of the traitor baru cormorant. which means i'm gonna read the sequel. save me from myself. AUGH.

#i was so close...so close #i was feeling like this book was too much of a chore to read for reasons that i now know were necessary #and the themes. the themes! i can't resist them #the problem is i don't really care about the characters. that makes it hard to love a book. but the theeeeeeeeemes #this book reminds me a lot of the poppy war series which i read all three books of and then wished i had given up earlier #except the execution is better and idk. more coherent #at least so far #i guess it kind of depends on what happens in the other books lol #i wouldn't be sad if i never had to read another battle scene though. i'm realizing a lot of books that i can't get into #have a lot of battles. battle scenes don't do anything but bore and confuse me #the only books i can think of where i felt like i could actually follow the battles are the dandelion dynasty series #wow ken liu again you blow me away with the mastery of your craft... #books

[pepprs]

ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

#purrs #i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life #situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to #drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a #stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well. #i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i #am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone #and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good. #delete later #that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd #this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be #neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority #and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol. #24 year old dependent moment <3 #well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will #never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰 #side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester #starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like #this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it #would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or #anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol #well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3

[seagullcharmer]

streaming still scares me but i might start recording myself playing pc games + dinky commentary

#libra.txt #i'm very quiet when by myself so idk how it'll go tbh #also only have a few games so. aaaa ? #i know realistically no one would actually watch my stuff #bc i'm a bad gamer and have limited access to stuff and don't have anything fun to say #also no face cam bc idk how to do that yet + also don't want to #could be fun to record my art process and talk abt nothing though 👍 #just posts hour long art vids where i ramble abt my ideas for stories #hmm that could actually be fun tbh #except i don't think i can post hour long vids to yt yet. alas #< slowly figuring out how to edit stuff so i guess it could be chopped up segements?? maybe??????? #whatever. not much is gonna happen. just pretending it will

[todayisafridaynight]

i was playing about dropping Fifty Drawings onto everyone's dashboard this week but the unfortunate reality is i am in fact being assaulted with images

#snap chats #this is what happens when i go on three hour walks i guess #might abandon some but i will spitball the ones on the forefront of my brain.. #more for my sake so i dont fuckin forget cause I Am Starting To Forget Already dont read if. you dont want spoilers ??? #not y7 spoilers. or i mean i GUESS there'll be y7 spoilers but i mean for my psts. i guess. only i care about that ANYWAY #i wanna draw a comic of aoki getting SOME kind of butterfly memorabilia or something with him and butterflies #i Was having a chortle with myself about Like A Butterfly but i was also like... Yk Butterflies Still Are About Rebirth #lame as hell ik but shut up anyway next one i wanted to do was Troubled Teen Jo getting in a scrap with arakawa #idk if i want this to be AFTER arakawa's become a father or not.. im still chewing on exactly what i want the direction of it to be.. #i have an IDEAAAA just.. nothing concrete yet.. #and then the one i wanted to see if i could do tonight was Beach Day With The Arakawas :) Cause IDK <:) #i really dont know.. for some reason i just got visions of them three at the beach.. maybe its cause of tonbi idk... #though the more i thought about that idea the longer it got and the more i was like 'maybe i can turn this into a fic instead' #a terrible sentence cause generally i never get anything done when i say that but it'd fr be too long to make a comic of #so at least for now maybe ill make a short fic.. just tryna figure if i want a jo or arakawa pov #i always think of jo's pov so i wanna challenge myself with arakawa. i always focus on jo and his pov of 'becoming a father' #but sometimes i also really wanna explore arakawa's pov on jo becoming another parental figure for masato. or smthn like that idk #ANYWAY LET ME COOK. im not a good chef but i can at least cook an egg lemme see what i got... #bye bye for now ill be in the kitchen (google docs) if anyone needs me..

[caffeinatedopossum]

I went grocery shopping today and realized just how much stronger I've gotten since pre-recovery and now I suddenly don't wanna relapse

#also just had a rather great day that reminded me i can feel happy still #its hard to remember that when it hardly ever happens #idk if i can give up on losing weight though... and it was just one good day. i still need some way to cope :( #idk what to do. i want to be happy. i want this to be the last time i ever had to get better #but i also cant really do anything. i need something more #i guess ill take it one day at a time... though i will probably relapse if i do that #but fuck it I guess it is what it is #well see what happens #I just dont wanna lose all this progress :( and i dont wanna go through recovery again #last time with my ed was so incredibly traumatic. i thought i was gonna die #there would be days id binge eat (relatively 'normal' amounts of food but a whole days worth at once) #and it was because id think 'today could be my last day- i may as well eat what i want now' #but id be in so much pain and have extreme nausea for hours or days not to mention the mental anguish- #god. it was all just really awful. i want things to be better now

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 14

"KMAG YOYO" by Hayes Carll

#song of the day #still sick >:( #I'm not convinced I actually /like/ this song but I can't sing today either way and it caught in my head last time I was in Nick's car #very very good rhythm and quick enough to be a challenge to learn even if I might not ever listen to it again once I've got it down #and I keep thinking I should look into how informal military abbreviations were established and proliferated #I dunno how commonly understood KMAG YOYO is (kiss my ass goodbye; you're on your own) but I'd say probably a majority of #--hmm you know now I'm really doubting my 'majority'. maybe I've got a sampling bias. #I mostly know folks on the poorer and more rural side of things and I've known a lot of law enforcement and military people. hmm-- #anyway I was going to say a majority of Americans but maybe that's not generalizable. certainly a majority of Americans I've met though #know what FUBAR and SNAFU mean at least in the colloquial sense #(I've heard disagreements about the particulars of FUBAR. whether it's 'beyond all repair' or 'beyond all recognition' mostly) #and I just wonder how they came to be standardized and spread. my just-spitballing guess is Vietnam vets but I wanna look it up #I suppose if we can manage to get 'okay' so heavily popularized with its weirdass origins then anything could happen #and English is such a fucky language anyway #a little research project for post-fever Alexis! she'll be so happy #edit: first late song post. two weeks in exactly. not too bad! #and only two hours late too! (current-fevered-Alexis fell asleep in the shower)

[eyes1nthewoods]

watched nimona. it was ok.

#(i'm very mean in the tags sorry :() #i havent seen the comic so my criticism is purely of the movie. #idk just kind of a mid kids movie. balister is very cute i liked him. #nimona......i want to like her but idk. i think her backstory should've had more attention put towards it. more hints about it #instead of the really abrupt scene near the end that explains everything. that was stupid. #(honestly better yet don't show anything have a big heartfelt outburst where she half explains what happens #(gross crying optional but preferred) #and leaves the rest to the audiences imagination. maybe a scene with voiceover that doesn't quite reveal everything) #the setting is pretty cool. story didn't make much sense to me. #''the wall is there to protect us against monsters!!'' but there's literally only one monster and it's nimona. #which could have been ok if the movie had been...better written i guess?? #like do the guards just sit around doing nothing. is it a police state?? i mean obviously they're cops but. they don't do anything. #they aren't even shown to be especially bad or anything just incredibly incompetent #uhhh the romance is cute. it's nice. i wish it was more fraught and bitter. #the passage of time isn't clear it seems like it happens over the course of like a day??? #balister learning to accept nimona was clumsy and rushed #the message of the film is nice. would be better if the movie was good. #i think the movie could've been longer and it would've fixed most of these things #i REALLY liked the animation though. the eyes being permanantly dilated was ehhh but forgivable on account of balister being very cute.

[aberooski]

Every day I get 🤏 this much closer to getting out of chapter 1 of Chazzerella.

#when I can actually get myself to sit down and write I actually make progress #who knew? #but no yeah we're getting there #I'm not gonna be a liar about it happening this year like I was last year #chazzerella is happening baby #you gotta wait until it's finished though #but once it's done I can finally officially put OUAD 2 back on the table again 👀 #that's my rule I can't start writing OUAD 2 until chazzerella is finished especially because I mean to do chazzerella last year #and that plan completely fell apart because last year was horrible I'm amazed I could vring myself to write anything #much less finish and release a few things #I also started the mario crossover instead of doing chazzerella that's a nother problem #which remeinds me I need to slog my way through the rest of the next chapter of that #I have a plan I'm just having a hard time actually sitting down and doing it you know? jyst very slow going #the next chapter after that is basically already written though #so I mean that's good I guess akkskks #not that anybody gives a shit about that one other than me anyway #which I mean is fine I'm doing that one purely for me anyway but it still kinda blows #doesn't help me with my slow progress either #but I digress #I have to work tomorrow or I guess technically today so I should probably actually sleep? #we'll see #yugioh gx fanfiction #chazzerella #abby's fanfic writer power hour #abby's insomnia thoughts

[harvestmoth]

Lo. Love your Rejuv art. Just wanted to ask if you have more ideas for the au where nothing goes wrong (lie) for Pokémon Rejuvenation.

thank you!! and im sorry to say i do not! im very bad at coming up with ideas but i would love to hear others ideas on anything, though i will say when i started posting about it i had a brief thought of flora, florin, and talon taking melia and the protag with them to terajuma when they cheak out the tyluric temple as like a way for them to. get to terajuma. but idk how well thatd work out continuity wise. or what the whole terajuma arc would be like because of it

#thinking about it makes me sad though melia wouldve never met crawli thats so sad to me.. the buddies… #anyway uh #something something i was originally thinking of it like. everything that happens still sorta happens just out of order kinda ? maybe ?? #i dont really know …. #i still really like the idea though so maybe hopefully i can think of something to jot down #that and i. dont know if blacksteeple would even.. happen ? #like as in akuwa town would be fine and saki val and adam are still there i guess ? #because xen didnt attack goldenwood forrest and the protag never shows up to goldenleaf #oh and the caratos mountain thing never wouldve happened #so they wouldnt really need a reason to keep akuwa town held captive. but idk about the ss oceana passengers #maybe theyre still there… i have no idea how they would escape though #though as a whole earlier i was thinking of it as like a . what if melia never went back in time. kind of thing ? #but thats mostly from the favt that i cant. really think of any way spacea and tiempa could corner her like they do in amethyst cave #idk i think i need to play love lies finally to maybe understand certain things that are making me unable to really think about it #namely those evil androids who are kind of like the whole reason anything and everything bad happened . i think. idk. #the overall timeline of things is whats getting to me #i think i might be overthinking it all though #oops #oh okay maybe i do have some ideas this is more than i thought i had. sorry #im very unsure about everything though! and no idea how id draw any of it! #thank you again for saying you like it though :] maybe ill be able to come up with something randomly in like a couple months or something

[yo9urt]

ball dur's gait 3 is ruining my life

#mine #I THINK I LOCKED MYSELF OUT OF AST4RI0N ROMANCE BY ACCIDENT #AND THE WORST PART IS I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW!!!!!!! #LIKE. WHAT SCENE DID I FUCK UP IN. WHICH DIALOGUE DID I MISS. WHERE DID I GO WRONG #i just got to act 3 and i had the option to ask him why him and my char haven't [ahem] in a while and i decided to click on it #and he finished the conversation by being like 'yeah theres never going to be anything between us' #i insta-reloaded to my save right before the convo because i refuse to accept that as being canon #even though i know the structure of this game well enough to know the fact that i have the option to have that convo #is like a 99% guarantee that i cant romance him #but fuck me man i wanna be a little delusional and keep believing #but if it's really over...............then 1. i'm very upset especially because this is my self insert #(although that is oddly fitting in its own way) #2. i still care him so much and in my heart i want to believe maybe after the events of the game something happens between them #3. im going to kill myself #and 4. on the upside i guess this does offer some interesting story/rp aspects i could play with in my silly mind #but fuuuuuuck me man i was counting on being able to do it i really thought i could get this to work................... #fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck man #so many things have gone wrong in this run it's almost kinda funny #i guess this also adds another playthrough to my planned list cause even though i watched the supercut and i know his romance already #i still kind of want to experience it for myself...even if it's not with my insert :( #but then again my tavs and durges will always be a little bit of an insert cause i'm going to project on them and they'll always #have something in common with me #i can try again in the future... #my 2nd run is going to be durgestarion with durge resisting the urges which i think will be really fun #but i guess im gonna need to use a guide LMAO #fuuuuuuuuuuck dude even though i reloaded to make the convo uncanon i feel like me and my little tav guy are sharing a deeply painful momen #ok this is too many tags WHATEVER i have a call in 30 minutes and then i'm playing the game for the rest of the day #even if he doesn't want me i will still care him...... #oh i guess that's the other upside is i can see nonromantic dialogue i might not have seen otherwise #i'll probably see friend dialogue in future playthroughs when i romance other characters but who knows

[karmaphone]

literally like a day later after seeing that autism + anthropomorphism post and it's hitting me that that's a likely reason my childhood was so damn traumatic

#vent #it's uh. it's hard to emotionally process things when your possessions you're extremely attached to are whittled down to a garbage bag or a #few boxes every few years #I remember being 6 and literally being handed a garbage bag and being told that whatever I wanted to take had to fit in there #I don't have like anything from my Childhood Childhood even though I loved that stuff desperately #moving every three years or so. does things to a kid lmfao. especially when they've never been socially accepted #they definitely learn to project onto things like stuffed animals and backpacks and clothes and even garbage #I woke up one day as a kid in a hoarders room and I just looked around like. what the fuck happened. & then I had 2 Get Rid Of Things Again #<- not an exaggeration btw. literal piles of just random shit up the walls as high as I could reach. who tf lets a kid do that lmao #this post got kind of vent-y I guess I'll put in a tag at the top so ppl can blacklist #sorry for impromptu self-therapy on ur dash

[espresso-cookie]

my bitchass thinking about cookie run multi animator projects again

#The last time i wanted to do one the thought fell through cause it was 2021 and that was like my horror year #and also it just wasnt planned at all i didnt even have a song picked #HOWEVER this time i DO have an idea AND a song #multiple problems though: its for an ultra specific AU nobody knows about and theres like. two cookie run animators out there #youll never guess what ultra specific au it is (linus we know its rbp) #ive literally been thinking about this for like a week now #the multi animator project scene is like dead i havent seen ANYTHING for it in the past few years #(i have to spell out the full name instead of the abbreviation so people know what im talking about) #if nobody knows what the FUCK im talking about just YouTube OC multi animator project #UPDATE multi animator projects are still alive the warriors fandom is still going absolutely batshit and i am HERE for it #Anyways rbp lives rent free in my brain #I think I could probably turn it into something more vague like a sort of cookiebots vs cookies type beat but #however lemon dj aloe and caramel are CRUCIAL #you'll never guess what i just thought of 2 minutes later #color palette usage #my brain is like overflowing with ideas it's NOT normal and its not gonna happen #unless? #<- /j