#though i think i made some decent ones recently so i might have been freed

[riversofmars]

I know you must have done wedding prompts before but perhaps one where the Doctor is trying to find something to wear but keeps coming up with all the stupid suits or other oddball clothes River dislikes and refuses River's suggestions of anything decent?

Hello all! Just back from holiday in the middle of nowhere and brought loads of fanfic content back! To start us off, a silly prompt filler! I've had a lot of fun prompts that all felt a bit too short for one thing so I've mixed a whole lot of them together for a chaotic and utterly typical day in the life of River and the Doctor! Hope you like it!

Word count: ~3k

Rating: G

Read below or on AO3

A Day in the Life

“You’re up early,“ River commented, leaning in the doorway of the kitchen in the TARDIS. She had woken up alone which wasn’t an unusual occurrence, the Doctor didn’t sleep much. She was, however, surprised to find her busying herself in the kitchen, rather than tinkering around the TARDIS.

“Big day today!“ The Doctor announced with a grin and turned around, she was waving a spatula about, and batter had somehow found its way into her hair and onto her entire outfit. River couldn’t help but chuckle, her hearts warming at the adorable sight in front of her. She pushed herself off the doorframe and made her way over to her wife.

“Doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it to be. We have a time machine, after all,“ she pointed out, recalling the conversation they had had last night. They had been invited to a wedding, which sounded a lot more recent than it was. The wedding had of course taken place thousands of years ago and they had encountered the happy couple many times since, but that wasn’t to say they wouldn’t be at their wedding at some point. The Doctor seemed to have decided that the time had come.

“No, no, I think it would be a nice thing to do today,“ the Doctor nodded enthusiastically and turned back to the stove to flip what looked like a pancake.

“Feeling sentimental?“ River asked, wrapping her arms around her waist.

“Maybe…“ The Doctor gave a little shrug and proceeded to curse most colourfully when the pancake split as she flipped it, and batter splashed everywhere as it crashed down.

“Is this something to do with that new face of yours?“ River hummed, nuzzling into her neck placing a soft kiss there.

“Something to do with you not being stuck in the library anymore,“ the Doctor answered more sincerely than River would have anticipated.

“Fair point,“ she had to agree. Life had been very different for them since the Doctor had freed her from the Library. For the first time - with the exception of their years on Darillium - they were living together in linear time. No running, no spoilers, just time, little time together, and they both appreciated it more than they could ever find the words to say.

“Sit down, breakfast is almost ready,“ the Doctor smiled and turned her head for a brief kiss.

“What are you making?“ River asked, eyeing the mess on the stove.

“Pancakes,“ the Doctor answered, bewildered, as if it wasn’t obvious.

“You sure about that?“ River frowned. Not only the consistency was suspect, the colour as well, upon closer observation.

“Oi, of course I’m sure!“ The Doctor exclaimed. “Special recipe. It’s from one of those colony worlds, over the far side of the Andromeda Galaxy. See, they don’t have chickens there so the eggs they use are…“

“Right,“ River nodded and decided that was all she needed to know to skip breakfast.

“And they don’t have maple syrup either but there is this really nice substitute they got…“ The Doctor went on and reached for a fork. She scooped up a presumably baked sample of the pancake and dipped it into some odd-looking white liquid in a bowl. She held it out to River expectantly.

“I’m gonna have to take your word for it,“ River hummed and let go of her to put some distance between herself and the offending pancake.

“Try it!“ The Doctor insisted, evidently hurt at her rejection. “It’s lush!“ She took the bite herself, sampling her own cooking, and was careful not to let her expression give any indication on the quality of the food.

“No, I’m good, watching my figure, with the dress and everything,“ River waved it off with a polite smile.

“You’re silly. You look absolutely beautiful,“ the Doctor seemed put out that she would even think that. She grabbed her hand to hold her back while scooping up another bite for her.

“And I really don’t want to try that,“ River grimaced, and with a sigh the Doctor ate the second bite too.

“I've been slaving in this kitchen for hours!“

“And I am ever so grateful.“ River pecked her cheek trying her best to avoid the sticky syrup all over her lips.

“Not even a proper kiss?“ The Doctor pouted.

“Not like that!“ River pointed out the sticky liquid and quickly pulled away before she had to sample the cooking second hand.

“Oi!“ The Doctor called, disappointed.

“Let’s go and pick out our outfits then!“ River grinned, skipping back to their bedroom.

——

“No… no…“ River shook her head vehemently.

“What do you mean, no? This is brilliant,“ the Doctor insisted, taking a twirl in a rainbow-coloured suit.

“No, it’s not, I’m not having it,“ River put her foot down. This was the fourth outfit the Doctor had tried and things were only getting worse.

“But…!“ The Doctor looked down at herself, disappointed. She thought this time she had picked a winner. The main problem was that she just didn’t really see the difference or what River’s issue was, else she would have been able to make a better choice. She was left guessing.

“No! Get something else!“ River sighed, getting frustrated.

“How about this?!“ The Doctor picked up another suit from the rack and River groaned:

“It literally is the same suit but in a different colour!“

“Brings out my eyes though, doesn’t it!“ The Doctor tried to reason but River wasn’t having it:

“No!“ She exclaimed and marched over to the rack herself. “Here, let me have a look…“ She started pushing through the coat hangers. “How about this?“ She pulled out a dress for a change and held it out to her, it was sky blue and silky.

“No.“ The Doctor shook her head immediately.

“Or this?“ River chose a red dress next that she remembered wearing herself for some occasion or another.

“I’m not going to wear one of your dresses!“ The Doctor huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“They’re not all my dresses… I’m sure this one is my mum’s,“ River mused, looking at a green one that she only had vague recollections of.

“No!“ The Doctor retorted decisively.

“Then I think we have reached an impasse…“ River sighed, putting all the dresses back. “I think we need to go shopping,“ she announced.

“River…“ The Doctor rubbed her face, she didn’t like the idea of it at all. .

“Unless you settle on one of my suggestions?“ River suggested sweetly and the Doctor shook her head.

“No.“

“Then, we’re going shopping,“ River decided, not taking no for an answer.

“What if I don’t dress up?“ The Doctor suggested in a last ditch attempt.

“Or you could wear nothing at all…“ River suggested with a sly smirk, and the Doctor blushed. “But no-one but me would appreciate that, so we’re going shopping.“

“Fine…“ The Doctor huffed.

——

“Right, back to the TARDIS,“ River announced triumphantly.

“I can’t believe you've dragged me around the shops…“ The Doctor was carrying several bags and did her best to avoid bumping into people. It was incredibly busy. They had come to the biggest shopping centre in the universe, the shopping planet aptly called “Capitalism“, which was rather on the nose but at least the people knew what this place was all about.

“Only until we found something we both liked well enough. Marriage is all about compromise, Sweetie,“ River chuckled, pleased that they had finally put the pesty issue to bed. Now it was just a matter of getting back to the TARDIS, changing into their new outfits and enjoying a very special day with some of their closest friends.

“Look over there…“ The Doctor halted as she spotted a little girl, no older than five, wandering around by herself.

“She looks lost…“ River had to agree and stopped walking as well. The girl was looking around, clearly searching for something or someone. It was far too busy for a child that age to be left to her own devices.

“Hello, are you okay? Who are you here with?“ The Doctor decided they couldn’t just carry on, instead she walked over to talk to the child, her wife close behind.

“I’m looking for my parents.“ The little girl answered reluctantly, eyeing the two of them as if she wasn’t sure whether she could trust them.

“Where did you last see them? Maybe we can help, you really shouldn’t be here on your own, it’s so busy,“ the Doctor scanned around the crowd but should see anyone that might be looking for a child in turn.

“I lost them in the crowd, we were meant to go to the entertainment level…“ The girl carried on to explain and pointed to a big poster on the other side of the walkway.

“Okay, well, maybe they went there and are waiting there for you now, shall we see if we can find them?“ River suggested, as it was as good a place as any to start.

——

“Entertainment is saying a bit much…“ River huffed as they slowly advanced into the amusement deck. It was surprisingly quiet, considering the fact that it was meant to be a fun place.

“Quite creepy, isn’t it…“ The Doctor agreed, eyeing up mechanical statues that lined the walls. Up ahead was a large entrance to what resembled an amusement park, only it was half-hidden behind the shutters, and there was no way of looking inside properly.

“Maybe we should go and talk to the security staff, make an announcement or something…“ River mused as she didn’t like the look of the place.

“That’s my mum’s scarf!“ The girl exclaimed as she spotted a yellow scarf not far from the entrance. River and the Doctor exchanged knowing looks.

“Maybe they didn’t lose you at all, maybe they were taken…“ The Doctor mused and pulled out her sonic screwdriver, which was quite a struggle with her shopping bags in hand. She gave the scarf and then the entrance a scan.

“Taken?!“ The girl exclaimed, terrified, and River was quick to pick her up and hug her.

“Don’t say things like that!“ She hissed at her wife who mumbled an apology.

“Sorry…“ she patted the child’s arm who had wrapped her arms around River’s neck. “We’re gonna find them in no time.“ The Doctor assured her and scanned the way up ahead again. “See, there’s lifesigns up ahead.“ Slowly, they started making their way inside the park.

The place was abandoned and they walked in silence until suddenly there was movement.

“AH!“ It was River that screamed first, and before the Doctor could do anything, she unloaded her blaster at a mechanical clown.

“River!!“ The Doctor exclaimed, shocked, as the girl screamed as well and buried her face in River’s neck.

“I just… really hate clowns, OKAY?!“ River took a deep breath, advancing carefully towards the thoroughly beat up statue.

“Right, okay, you’ve really shown that one who’s boss…!“ The Doctor commented, relaxing a little when River put her gun away upon finding the clown completely broken.

“Emily!“ A voice called up ahead and River and the Doctor looked up.

“Mum!“ The girl exclaimed and River set her down, smiling, at the woman running towards her.

“It was one way, we couldn’t turn around, we thought you’d gone in!“ The woman scooped up her daughter in a tight hug and the Doctor and River exchanged smiles.  “Thank you so much for bringing her here!“ The mother carried on, immense relief in her voice.

“All is well that ends well,“ River smiled and looped her arm around that of her wife.

“We’d better go, before someone makes us pay for the damage on that clown…“ The Doctor chuckled and captured River's lips in a kiss before she could get affronted.

——

“Happy?“ River asked, giving her wife a sideways glance.

“Very happy!“ The Doctor nodded, as she adjusted her waistcoat. She was wearing a tailored grey suit with an emerald green bow tie that matched the dress River wore. It was long and fitted, showing off her curves perfectly without being too revealing.

“Right then, let’s do this.“ River smiled and took her wife’s arm as she offered it to her.

“Nice venue!“ River commented as they stepped outside the TARDIS. They found themselves in a Victorian manor house.

“Looks oddly familiar…“ The Doctor mused with a frown, getting an odd sense of déjà vu.

“You’ve not been here before, have you?“ River asked, recognising the look on her face. She felt they were in for a surprise.

“I think I would remember…“ The Doctor mused, scanning the room some more. That’s when she spotted it: the second TARDIS on the other side of the room. “Oh no!“ She breathed.

“Timelines crossing, that’s why you don’t remember…“ River chuckled and frowned when she spotted the other Doctor. Tall with floppy hair, bowtie, and a girl following close behind. “But who is that?!“

“Okay, all of this was a huge misunderstanding…“ The Doctor reached for her wife’s hand intent on pulling her back to the TARDIS but River was too curious to let this opportunity pass them by. Particularly since the girl who was following the young Doctor was doing her best to cling to his arm.

“Doctor?“ River flashed him a bright smile, pulling her wife along.

“River!“ The younger Doctor recognised her and the colour drained from his face. He was doing his best to shake off the girl on his arm while going bright red in the face. “Oh no, no no no…“

“Who’s this darling?“ The young girl piped up to which River raised her eyebrows.

“This is my…“ The young Doctor cleared his throat as he gestured to his wife, trying to make introductions.

“Darling?“ River echoed with a good-natured smile, already relishing in his discomfort.

“Oh God, I think I remember this…“ The blonde Doctor groaned next to her wife, running her hand through her hair nervously. This was not where they were meant to end up when she had set the TARDIS going.

“And what is this ?“ River asked and the younger Doctor stammered:

“It’s really not what it looks like…“

“I thought we were going to Vastra and Jenny’s wedding, we have been meaning to go for ages!“ River sighed, pursing her lips, raising her questioning eyebrow.

“I must have… overshot a little…“ The blonde Doctor admitted.

“River, I can explain, see there was this thing…“ The other Doctor started.

“There is always a thing…“ River hummed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She was doing her very best to remain serious. It wasn’t exactly the first time she had caught her spouse in an awkward position and she didn’t care in the least, but she greatly enjoyed winding them up.

“Please, let’s leave this horrible place and start our life together…“ The girl piped up again, wrapping her arms around the young Doctor’s waist who struggled to push her off.

“Yeah, about that…“ He stuttered.

“There was this whole forced marriage cult that I was trying to break up and I don’t know what happened, suddenly I was married to this girl and…“ The blonde Doctor decided to add some context at last.

“Ah.“ River smirked.

“It was an accident…“ The younger Doctor interjected immediately.

“We will leave you to deal with this accident then and you can make it up to me next time you see me,“ River announced with great amusement.

“Yes well… but what about you, do I not get to be jealous?“ The younger Doctor suddenly realised, pointing to his future self.

“I am you,“ the Doctor retorted dryly, as if it wasn’t obvious by now.

“Right…“ The other Doctor looked his future self up and down. “Nice suit.“

“She is you? I am married to both of you?“ The girl interjected, drawing everyone’s attention, as a huge smile spread across her face at the prospect. She was taking the whole thing surprisingly well which probably had a lot to do with having regained her freedom after what could be considered a rather hopeless existence.

“You are married to neither one of us. She is. We’re not married, 'cause I was already married,“ the younger Doctor explained, hoping to clear things up once and for all. This was just typical. Try and do one nice thing and get caught out by your wife for it.

“She’s your wife?“ The girl looked to River but not with animosity, more like blatant fascination and probably considering if there was a case to be made for an extended arrangement.

“She’s something.“ The older Doctor hummed and got a gentle slap to the arm for it.

“So… Vastra and Jenny’s wedding? Or are we postponing that again?“ River turned back to her wife in amusement, but only after giving the girl a wink.

“Ohh you’re off to see Vastra and Jenny? Been meaning to do that for ages, can we all go?“ The younger Doctor grinned in excitement and River chuckled:

“I think you got something else to sort out first…“

#Doctor who #fanfiction #prompt #thirteen #thirteenth doctor #eleventh doctor #river song #space wives #yowzah #river x thirteen #thirteen/river #general #fluff #dw fanfiction #femslash

[anubislover]

A Good Heart

(for @heart-pirates-week Day 1, with the prompt “Protective” for Jean Bart)

Standing on the deck of the Polar Tang, Jean Bart stared out at the horizon in thought. It was hard to believe it had been nearly a year since he’d been freed from his bonds and joined the Heart Pirates. He’d never thought he’d be a free man again. Never thought he’d live another day without the feel of that explosive collar around his neck. Never thought he’d be able to stand tall and feel human again.

God, he owed Trafalgar Law everything.

The crew itself was a good bunch, too. Despite initially insisting that he outranked him, Bepo had quickly endeared himself to Jean Bart with his cuteness and intelligence. After they’d gotten off Sabaody, Shachi and Penguin had gone out of their way to get him settled in, putting together an appropriate room for him. Ikkaku had managed to put together some clothes for him to wear that wasn’t his slave rags until they could get a uniform his size. Uni had shown him the ropes of living on a submarine, while Clione had grilled him on what types of food he’d like added to the menu.

Sure they were at times odd and dorky, but they were more of a family than his old crew had been. That lot…well, they’d been decent enough, but they weren’t nearly as close as the Hearts. Didn’t have the same trust or bonds. To them, piracy was nothing more than a job, their shipmates colleagues. Jean Bart might have been the captain, but he hadn’t felt especially protective of his men.

His features darkened at this realization. Perhaps that had been why they’d been captured. Why he’d failed as a captain. Maybe he’d deserved the cruel hand fate had given him.

“You know I won’t let them take you back, right?”

The big man didn’t jump in surprise, but he did lurch forward slightly, having not expected Law’s low, lazy drawl from behind him. Still, he composed himself quickly; years under the hoof of his old masters had taught him to hide his emotions and reactions. “Captain?”

Casually, Law leaned against the railing beside him, looking out at the sea. “The Celestial Dragons. Becoming a shichibukai might make me a government dog, but they can’t order me to give you back. Well, they can, but fuck if I’ll listen.”

Ah. Of course. Law had recently revealed to the crew why they’d been collecting all those hearts. Naturally, the reaction was mixed—as much as the Hearts supported their captain and his brilliant plans, no one was particularly happy about becoming government dogs. Jean Bart included, which was probably why Law had spoken up, assuming that he’d been brooding over that.

“I trust you, Captain,” he replied, nodding. While he didn’t like it, Law had proven himself to be a capable man and master strategist. It was obvious he had no intention of being under the Navy’s control for long. It was just another part of his long-term plan.

“Glad somebody does,” Law grumbled, face somewhere between a scowl and a pout. “Ikkaku gave me an earful over why my plan sucks. Cited the danger you’d be in specifically. Figured I’d make sure you knew it wouldn’t be an issue.”

He had to smile at that. It was easy to picture the engineer giving her captain a piece of her mind. Law ran a tight ship, but Ikkaku seemed to get some leeway when it came to voicing her concerns. He wondered what the story was there. “She’s a good kid. All of them are, really. You’re a lucky man to have them as subordinates.”

Despite his lingering annoyance, his expression softened with grudging affection. “They are, and I am. Lucky to have you, too. It’s been…nice, having another person around who understands the difficulties that come with being captain. Been a big help, especially in the paperwork department.”

“You’re giving me too much credit. I wasn’t a particularly good captain,” he stated, unable to look at him, shame surging like a tsunami.

Law raised an eyebrow before shrugging. “Mmmm, maybe, maybe not, but that doesn’t matter now. The only thing I care about is that you’re a good Heart. And over the past year, you’ve more than proven that.”

“Have I?”

He gave him a disbelieving look. “You’ve fought side-by-side with us. Shared in our victories and losses. Even been a key component in a couple of my plans. Are you telling me you don’t think you’ve proven yourself?”

“I failed my crew once, captain.”

“Then learn from your mistakes and don’t do it again. Tell me, do you feel more protective of the Hearts than your old crew?”

There was no hesitation in his answer. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because…” he paused, not quite sure.

Law seemed to know, though. “Because they’re a band of lovable idiots who are impossibly loyal. It’s hard not to feel protective,” he stated with a smirk before turning to go back inside. “Where you failed as a captain you’re succeeding as a subordinate. Own that. It’s us against the world, so we’ve gotta have each other’s backs. Have I made myself clear?”

Chuckling, Jean Bart stood up straight and gave him a salute. For a man renown for his cruelty, it seemed Trafalgar Law had more heart than one might think. It was easy to see why the crew adored him, and why he cared about them in return.

Law was protective of his men, a former captain-turned-slave included, and Jean Bart would gladly reciprocate.

“Aye-aye, Captain.”

#heart-pirates-week #op fanfic #jean bart #trafalgar D. Water Law #heart pirates #One Piece Fanfiction #happy birthday jean bart! #trafalgar law #will reblog again later for people in other time zones #heartpiratesweek2021

[janaikam]

Roommates

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @emsylcatac!!!!!! You are such an amazing friend and I hope you have the best day ever!!!!

Summary:  When the new mayor of Paris offers an apartment to Paris' heroes, Ladybug and Chat Noir couldn't pass up on the chance.

Beta reading done by the marvelous @macaronsforchat

Read on AO3.

“Woah!” Ladybug and Chat Noir breathed, looking around at the apartment.

Mayor Beaumont, Paris’ newest mayor, had recently offered the heroes an apartment in Paris. He claimed that it was to honor the heroes’ hard work over the years. But Ladybug figured that it was to keep him on the public’s good side. After all, he barely beat Mayor Bourgeois in the last election.

Although Marinette had her reservations about the apartment, she wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to have free housing in Paris. She had just started looking at housing for her second year in university, and it was not cheap to find a decent apartment.

Plus it helped that Mayor Beaumont was keeping everything with the apartment confidential. It turned out that he owned multiple buildings around Paris, so they didn’t have to worry about a landlord selling the heroes out.

She was a little hesitant about rooming with Chat, but Beaumont reassured her that he would find the best apartment that would not reveal their identities to Paris or each other.

The last thing Marinette expected was for the mayor to get them a penthouse style apartment.

The apartment had a large kitchen, and after quickly checking the cabinets, it was fully stocked. An island in the middle of the kitchen separated it from the living room which had some nice black couches with some dark grey and white spiral pillows on top of it. Surrounding the couch there were two dark grey single seats. There was a door on the back wall that Ladybug realized was a balcony.

The walls were a plain cream color making the room not as inviting, but Marinette was sure that they could make it feel homier without them revealing their identities.

A little in between the living room and kitchen were two hallways on both ends. Walking down the hallway on the right, Ladybug saw that the hallway had two rooms--one looked to be a bedroom and the other an office--and a washer and dryer unit. Connecting the bedroom was a bathroom that had both a huge bath and a shower.

She could only imagine that the other side was set up similarly. It would definitely be possible for them to hide their identities without having to use their kwamis too much.

Walking back to the main area, Ladybug saw that Chat was just coming back after checking his side of the room.

“Alright, Chat, if we’re going to make this work, we need to set some ground rules.” She went to sit on the couch, and Chat followed.

“Anything for you my lady.”

“First off, I think in our respective spaces we can be detransformed, so we don’t overwork our kwamis. Second, whenever we’re here in the main space, we should be transformed or at least have something to hide our identities.”

Chat nodded in understanding. “What about inviting friends over? Some of my civilian friends know I’m moving into a new apartment, and it’d be really hard for me to keep them from here.”

Ladybug hummed. She had the same issue because Alya was definitely going to want to come over.

“How about we tell each other in advance? Like send a message or write a note? That way we would know when to just avoid coming to the apartment.”

“We could get separate phones to text on!” Chat’s eyes lit up. “It would be like we’re spies with a second phone.”

Ladybug scrunched up her face. “Ignoring the fact that we’d have to pay for phones and service, I think my friends would wonder why I suddenly have two phones.”

Chat deflated a little. “You’re right. Hmmm. Oh! We could use one of those online messaging apps. We could just make accounts and message each other there!”

“That would work.” Ladybug nodded.

“I’m excited to be your roommate, m’lady.”

“I’m excited to be your roommate, Chaton.”

--------

It had been a week living with Chat, and so far it had been going smoothly. Their schedules thankfully allowed them to miss when the other left or came back, so Marinette had no clue what Chat looked like. Though she did make a couple of masks that resembled their superhero ones. She always slipped hers on when she got on the elevator just in case, but there hadn’t been much of a need for it.

They had also found a website to message on to let the other know someone was coming over. He had some friend over earlier this week, and she just ended up spending the afternoon with her parents at the bakery.

It was her turn to have the apartment to herself as Alya was practically demanding to see Marinette’s new place.

Marinette was tidying up her new sewing room--she decided to use the office space for her sewing--when she heard a knock at the front door.

Opening the door, she saw Alya standing there practically bouncing with excitement.

“Marinette!” The brunette jumped onto Marinette and gave her a hug. “It’s been too long!”

Marinette laughed, hugging Alya back. “It’s only been a week.”

“Exactly. Too long.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Marinette shook her head as Alya walked in and set down her purse on the island.

“Not ridiculous. Excitable.”

Alya examined the fairly large apartment, walking over to the living room. Alya picked up one of the picture frames that Marinette had placed down. Marinette followed, looking over Alya’s shoulder and saw that she had picked up the picture of a Ladybug on a green flower.

Marinette smiled as Alya put it down. The photo just seemed like a regular picture to anyone, but for her and Chat it was a little nod to their identities.

“This place looks really nice. How on earth are you affording this?” Alya asked, turning to face Marinette.

Marinette nervously laughed, trying to think up an excuse. It was times like this she wished that she didn’t have to keep secrets to keep her friends safe. “My roommate knows the owner of the building and they worked out some deal, so we got the apartment at a nice price.”

Alya nodded, accepting the answer. “This must be some roommate if they’ve got connections like that.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty awesome.” Marinette sighed, thinking of Chat.

She wondered what he was doing right about now since it was the middle of the afternoon, and he couldn’t be at the apartment. It had been something she found that she was always thinking about ever since they moved in together. Shaking out the thoughts of Chat, Marinette turned back towards Alya.

Her best friend was giving her a suspicious smirk that Marinette couldn’t quite place.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing. I can’t wait to meet this super special roommate. He really seems like something,” Alya said, the smirk still on her face.

Marinette shivered, thinking about the trouble Chat’s civilian self might get into with Alya. They were already mischievous as it was when they were heroes back in collége, who knows what they would do.

“Ah, you probably may not see him around much. We have pretty different schedules, so I don’t see him much as it is.” Marinette let out a soft chuckle. “Hey! Let me show you my side of the apartment!”

Marinette dragged Alya to the hallway on the right, but a thud from the balcony stopped her in their tracks.

Turning towards the balcony, Marinette saw a blur of black before it quickly disappeared.

“What was that?” Alya freed herself from Marinette’s grasp and walked over to the balcony.

Marinette followed her onto the balcony.

“Is that Chat Noir?” Alya pointed to a fast-moving blur on the rooves. Marinette nodded, recognizing her partner from this distance. “I wonder if he’s going to that new apartment the mayor got the heroes. But why is he in such a hurry?”

Marinette turned to look in the direction that Chat had just come from only to see a large purple blob moving towards them.

“I think that might be why.”

Alya’s eyes widened as she spotted the akuma.

“Hey, Mari, I’m gonna have to take a rain check. See ya!”

With that Alya ran out of the apartment, phone in hand ready to record.

Marinette shook her head at her best friend. Despite how much they’ve grown, she was still the same person.

“Tikki, spots on!”

----

CN: Movie night?

Marinette considered the text. It wasn’t like Chat and her hadn’t been in the same room before, but the thought of being in the same room as Chat for at least an hour seemed like a weird concept to her. But it definitely didn’t sound unpleasant.

LB: What movie?

CN: You pick

Marinette hummed. It didn’t seem like a bad idea. Plus she was likely going to watch a movie by herself, so might as well have someone to watch with.

LB: Sure

Grabbing her mask and a couple of blankets, Marinette made her way to their living room.

Chat was already there along with a mountain of blankets and two medium-sized bowls of what she assumed was popcorn. Her kitty had the biggest of grins on his face, and when he spotted her he patted a spot on the couch where the pillows created a hole for someone to sit. The T.V. was already opened to the Netflix search.

Once Marinette had settled herself into the spot, Chat handed her one of the bowls of popcorn and the remote. Glancing down at the bowl of popcorn, Marinette noticed that there was a bunch of M&Ms and hardened chocolate syrup all over the popcorn.

“Omg, Chat, did you make all this?”

Chat nodded excitedly. “My mom and I used to make it all the time when I was younger. I thought you might like it.”

Marinette smiled back. “It looks great. Thank you, Chat. But how’d you know that I would say yes?”

“So what are we watching, my lady?” Marinette glared at his obvious change of topic but proceeded to find her favorite movie on the streaming service.

Clicking on the movie, she clicked play and settled back into the couch.

“Mirror, Mirror?” Chat asked.

“Yup. It’s a fantastic take on Snow White, and the costumes are just to die for,” Marinette said, popping some popcorn into her mouth. “Now hush, it’s starting.”

--

Marinette groaned, snuggling up closer to the wall next to her as a finger poked into her side. The wall chuckled, and the poking shifted into a slight shake.

“My lady…” a voice whispered near her ear. “My lady, the movie’s over.”

Slowly opening her eyes, Marinette saw that the movie credits were rolling, and some Netflix recommendations were showing on the screen.

She looked over to where Chat was and realized somehow during the movie, she had snuggled up right next to him.

She jumped up off the couch, a blush forming on her cheeks. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry for falling asleep on you!”

“You’re good my lady.” Chat grinned. “You were right, the movie was great.”

“Uh yeah, I’m glad it enjoyed you.” Marinette shook her head. “I mean you enjoyed it. Anyways have a good night!”

As quickly as she could with her blanket, Marinette ran into her room, not daring to look back at Chat.

----

Marinette and Nino laughed as Alya slapped Adrien’s hand away from her fries. Adrien pouted but leaned back in his seat beside Nino.

“That’s what you get, you fry snatcher,” Alya reprimanded, holding a fry to emphasize her point.

Marinette couldn’t help but break out into laughter again. She missed spending time with her friends like this. The four of them had all started university at different schools this year, and it was hard for them to meet up. It just so happened that all of them had the afternoon free, so they planned to get lunch together and walk back to Marinette’s place.

Aside from Adrien stealing Alya’s fries, the afternoon consisted of the four of them sharing university stories.

They had already paid for their food and were waiting on Alya to finish so they could walk over to Marinette’s place to watch movies or maybe play some video games.

“There, all done. Now there are no more fries for you to steal.”

Adrien stuck out his tongue, causing Alya to sick out hers.

“Children, children, let us go so you can continue your childish games later,” Marinette said in an obnoxious accent.

“Pfft. What was that?” Alya asked, laughing.

“That was called a sophisticated voice, something you clearly know nothing about.”

Nino shook his head, standing up from the table. “You all are crazy.”

“If we’re crazy, then what are you? Cause you aren’t sane that’s for sure,” Alya teased.

“I’m saner than you.” Nino poked Alya’s nose with his finger and led them all out of the restaurant.

--

The walk to Marinette’s apartment building didn’t take that long. In fact, if Marinette didn’t know better, Adrien looked a little pale as their group entered the building.

“Hey, dude, don’t you live here?” Nino asked while they waited for the elevator to come down.

“Yeah, top floor.” Adrien flashed one of his model smiles, which meant something was bugging him, but Marinette couldn’t fathom what.

“I live on the top floor too. I didn’t know you moved into an apartment.”

The elevator doors opened, and Marinette clicked her floor.

“Yeah, turns out my dad owned this building, and I figured I might as well move into one of the apartments,” Adrien explained, scratching behind his head.

Adrien was lying. He had to be. The mayor of Paris owned this building. But why on earth would Adrien be lying about something like that? It didn’t make sense.

“Oh, uh, that’s neat.”

Thankfully they reached the top floor before Marinette could confront Adrien. He probably just didn’t want them to think he was wasting his money. Yeah, that had to be it. She didn’t know how much these apartments cost, but she figured it had to be a whole lot.

“You know Marinette has this hot roommate. From what I hear, he’s quite some guy,” Alya said to Adrien.

“Alya! You haven’t even met my roommate!”

“Do I have to meet him to know that he’s cute?” At this Nino raised his eyebrow, but Alya waved him off. “Not as cute as you babe.”

“Good.”

“1377. This is me.” Marinette unlocked the door to the apartment and let them in.

“Okay are you guys messing with me?” Marinette turned to see Nino standing in the doorway, looking between Marinette and Adrien.

Adrien himself looked like he was in a state of awe and panic.

“What do you mean?” Marinette scrunched her face together.

“This is Adrien’s apartment.”

“No, it’s no-oh my gosh.” She looked over at Adrien, making eye contact with the blonde. Her eyes widened as she recognized the familiar green eyes of her partner. It suddenly made sense why Adrien had been acting the way he did.

Staring into his eyes, she could see that he was having the same realization that she was. Slowly, Marinette made her way to Adrien, cautiously reaching her hand up to touch his face.

“It’s you,” Marinette gasped, covering her mouth.

“It’s you.” Adrien smiled a real smile, not his fake one.

She hugged him tightly as tears filled her eyes and threatened to fall. Adrien hugged her back just as fiercely, and she could feel his own tears flowing down, causing her own tears to fall.

“This is weird right?”

“Yes, Nino, this is weird.”

#roommates #happy birthday emsy #and they were roommates #my fic #my writing #ladybug #chat noir #adrien #marinette #alya #nino #djwifi #birthday gift #crack #miraculous ladybug

[reddogcollar]

Morning Routine

In which I make Hector have a breakdown. That's it. That's the plot.

Warnings for suicidal tendencies and a panic attack

sorry for weird formatting but its late and idc abt formats anymore <3

next

The only window in the cell at the top of the Garrison Tree was a small one, eye level with the table in the room so Hector could see the streets below sitting down.

Sometimes he was grateful for that. Sometimes it made him feel bitter. Most times the height made him dizzy.

Every time he wished the window had been carved up higher, or bigger, so that it'd let more light in the room.

As it was, even with the sun rising, the dark felt oppressive.

The dark wood that everything was carved in didn't help.

The dark probably wasn't actually that bad to anyone else, but to him the shadows writhed and whispered. He couldn't tell whether he was imagining the blue glints of light that would be a vile's eyes.

Even with his ties to dark magic severed, he could still see them.

He just couldn't do anything about them anymore.

Not that he really could before, he'd just learned to ignore them instead of banishing them. They'd quickly become one of his least important problems, after his brother came.

Now he was stuck in a tree with little company other than the dark.

And oh, did the dark love to talk. He tried not to feed into it, if he learned to ignore them again they'd probably get bored toying with him, but their favorite choice of topic had quickly become everything Hector had done.

You could only try not to react to your sins being recounted by the dead for so long.

It left him spending most of his time at that table, next to the window where the meager light poured in. Currently there was a tin plate of untouched food keeping him company.

The viles where stuck in the dark. They couldn't get near him in the dark.

He'd take to burning candles where the shadows were thickest, day and night if he could, but the last time he tried to light a candle he'd felt sick. He could practically feel the wax melting, running down his withered hand.

Just thinking about the sensation now made him short of breath.

Even after a year, he hadn't quite recovered from Manfred's antlers in his lung, and the resulting infection after Vincent had neglected to take care of the wound.

Working himself up did nothing to help his weakened lungs.

The viles crowding the room took notice, they noticed everything, and took to taunting him about how it felt to get stabbed, how it felt to stab the queen, how it felt to have his body stolen from under his feet.

"Did it burn?"

"Did it make you feel powerful?"

"Did it make you feel helpless?"

They all talked at once, he had a hard time deciphering what their taunts actually were. Somehow that was worse.

At least the sun was up.

Right on time, like everyday for the past year, the door creaked open and Drew stepped into the dark. The sunlight didn't read all the way across the room.

The sight of the viles crowding around Drew, like sharks to chum in the water, made Hector's stomach turn.

It always did, no matter how many time he saw it.

Drew payed them no mind, he didn't even know they were there, while he lit the candles that had been placed around the room.

Hector had lied when he asked why he couldn't simply do it himself.

He'd said he'd struggled to do it with one hand.

Which wasn't really a lie, he'd struggled. The struggle was just mostly him trying not to vomit.

By now, lighting the candles had become part of Drew's morning routine. He couldn't tell whether Drew minded that or not.

"Morning, Hector." Drew spoke to him first. More routine.

Hector failed to speak until all the candles were lit, no more shadows clawing at Drew, ineffectually trying to cross plains of existence and rip him apart.

"Good morning, Drew." Hector's voice seemed pathetic to his own ears. Thin and uncertain. Drew probably dreaded the sound of it. Hector certainly did.

Drew pulled out the second chair at the table, sitting with Hector.

That was a recent addition to the routine. With no more sightings of the Wyld Wolves, more of Drew's mornings had been freed.

Why he spent them in the Garrison Tree was beyond Hector.

"How were you last night?" Drew asked. The question was a guise, and one he asked every morning.

He wanted to know if Hector was truly alone in the cell anymore, he wasn't stupid enough to pretend anyone would actually care about his well-being anymore.

"I was alright." Hector lied, he always lied. He'd been far from alright, he hadn't even slept.

He was lucky he'd only cried early on in the night, it was less obvious like that. He wasn't in the mood to be pitied.

Drew nodded, accepting the lie whether he believed it or not.

"How'd last night treat you, Drew?" Hector asked, though by now he was sure he knew the answer.

"Better than most nights." Drew said, and Hector couldn't tell whether it was a lie or not.

Drew's answer surprised him, it was rare that he had a decent night. He'd confided in Hector briefly about nightmares, one morning after not getting any sleep three nights in a row.

Nightmares about endless battles and the risen dead.

He never asked whether those dreams about the risen dead took place in Cape Gala or Icegarden. The answer probably would've been both.

Hector nodded, accepting the answer whether it was a lie or not.

"I'm glad."

That was the truth, at least. Out of everything, Drew deserved a good night sleep at the very least.

The silence stretched on after that. Hector had a lot to say to Drew, but he'd said it all before. He couldn't imagine Drew had much to say to him.

The silence wasn't necessarily comfortable, Hector looking out the window and Drew staring at Hector like he could pry something out of him.

Whatever he might want was beyond Hector.

He'd already answered every question that applied to him.

"You haven't eaten in the mornings for the past week." Drew said, surprising Hector again.

It was true he hadn't had much of an appetite all year, especially not recently. Why in Brenn's name Drew would keep an eye on his eating habits though baffled him.

There wasn't anything he could do with that information.

"In truth, Drew, I simply haven't felt the need to eat lately." The last time he'd really felt like he had to eat was after Vincent was truly gone.

His brother hadn't really deigned to take care of the body he'd stolen.

"You do eat at least, don't you?"

Hector turned away from the window to look at Drew, though not directly in his eyes. He couldn't make eye contact with anyone yet.

He was going to ask where this sudden concern was coming from, when one of the candles fizzled out, having burned itself away completely.

He'd been aware that the candles were burning low now, but the sudden lack of light was jarring.

The sunlight didn't even reach all the way across the table, without the candle Drew was again bathed mostly in shadow.

The viles swarmed him immediately, wrapping around his throat and clawing at his face. The only thing they wouldn't touch was the White Fist.

The sight of them stole the air from Hector's weak lungs completely, practically punching it out of him and making him double over, hunched over the table unable to breathe.

He thought of all the times he'd used Vincent to break someone's neck and his stomach rolled.

He was thankful it was empty.

Baffled by Hector's reaction to a candle going out, Drew stood and went around the table. Into the sunlight. It shook the viles off him instantly.

Still, Hector couldn't look at him.

He couldn't look at him without imagining how it'd feel to break his neck with a vile.

He shook, gripping the table edge and hunching lower till he was practically laying on the table top.

The edges of his vision were going dark, he still couldn't breathe.

The room felt distant now, caught up in his mind thinking about how many lives he'd put an end to a year ago, and how many more he was ready to take.

The justification had been easy then, it was war, he was trying to survive, he wanted what was best for the Wolf's Council.

Now it all made him feel ill.

He could hear the viles, gathering in the shadow left by the candle, whispering about he should've let Dutchess Freya kill him in Icegarden.

He couldn't help but agree.

Drew placed his hand on his shoulder, in a way that should be comforting. It always had been.

Now it made him choke and tremble.

His grip on the table became white knuckled and Drew pulled his hand back.

He found himself completely ungrounded without it.

If only he could make up his mind.

About his allegiances, about whether he wanted to live or die, about whether he wanted Drew's help or not. His life would be so much easier.

"Hector."

At first Drew's voice melted in with the shadow's taunts, indecipherable.

"Hector."

Quiet and ready to rip him apart, behind the wall of his own tumultuous thoughts.

"Hector, look at me."

He jolted upright, pushing himself away from the table but not letting go of the edge, and looked at Drew in the sunlight. As intact as the war had left him.

Distantly, Hector noted he'd started crying at some point.

It didn't seem important though, compared to how every breath was being strangled out of him.

"Hector-" Whatever he was going to say was lost when Hector grabbed him by the collar of his greencloak, hauling himself up.

The White Fist wrapped around Hector's comparatively fragile wrist.

"Drew," Hector choked out, finally making up his mind, "I need you to help me."

Drew nodded, talking before Hector was done, "Of course, Hecto-" Only to be interrupted again.

"You need to kill me, Drew." Out of the corner of his eye, Hector could see the shadows. Writhing and laughing. Always writhing and laughing.

Drew seemed appalled at the idea of it. Of course he was. He'd paled at killing Opal, Count Croke, he probably would have had a hard time killing Leopold, given the chance.

Drew wasn't a killer, even after everything. It wasn't smart to ask him to kill him.

"I won't do that, Hector." Drew said, the Whit Fist tightening around Hector's wrist. If he wasn't careful he might break it.

"You don't understand, I can't live like this, in a dark room afraid of the dark!" He wheezed, his lungs burning at the effort of pleading and keeping himself upright at the same time.

"There's nothing to be afraid of up here-"

Hector cut him off with a choked laugh. There was so much to be afraid of, all the time.

"You don't know anything about that." Hector coughed, his grip on Drew's collar the only thing really keeping him standing at the moment. That and the hold the White Fist had on him.

"What do you mean by that?" Drew's face turned from disgusted and worried to skeptical in an instant, shutting Hector right up.

What a way to gain someone's trust, telling them you still viles.

What a way to get killed, on the other hand. Telling your jailer you still see viles.

"Viles, Drew! I mean viles! The dead! I've seen them since I communed the first time and they're still here, so kill me, because it didn't work!" His demands would probably hold more power if he wasn't choking and practically relying on Drew to hold him up.

He was crying consciously now.

"By Brenn Drew," He continued, begging now, "It's horrible, they're everywhere and they don't ever let me rest. Please just let me die, this is torture. I know what I deserve but please just let me rest."

He'd collapsed in earnest now, coughing and wheezing while Drew did all the work of holding him up.

It didn't seem that hard for him.

Carefully, Drew pried Hector's fist from his collar and had him sit back down, human hand on his shoulder. Like he was keeping him there.

"I'm not killing you Hector. Gretchen was right that there's another way." It was obvious there'd be no convincing him. Hector would live and that'd be that.

He kept going anyway.

"This is cruel, Drew. You're supposed to kill murderers, not torture them." He'd stopped crying, and he could breathe again. The episode had left him barely able to whisper.

He was exhausted.

"It's not supposed to be torture." Drew protested, one hand still left on his shoulder.

"It is anyways."

"It'll get better." Drew squeezed his shoulder before letting go.

He pulled the chair out of the dim shadows, the viles scraping at him while they could, and sat in the weak sunlight next to Hector.

They stayed quiet for a measure of time, Drew letting Hector catch his breath until he could speak up again.

"Why do you object to killing me so much?" It was obvious to Hector that his moral compass hadn't changed at all, but he was so ready to behead him on the top of Bone Tower, what changed?

"You're my friend, Hector," Drew said it like it should've been obvious. In a way he almost believed. "Gretchen was right that it wasn't the only way. You can live a life."

"Live a life stuck in a tree full of demons?"

"It doesn't have to be like that. Now enough of this. You're not dying today and that's final." Drew pushed the chair back, standing up. "I need to go. I'll be back tonight."

That was new. He'd never been by at night. Though, he'd given him enough reason to keep a closer eye on him.

Hector could only nod while Drew went to the door, where he stopped.

"I'll have more candles brought by. In the meantime, you should eat."

With that, he left him alone in the room.

All according to the routine.

#is the ending a little rushed? maybe! #its 5 am and I wanna shower! so don't mention it! #are they a little ooc? possibly! #im tired bro! #anyways here's 4000 words of absolute fuckery #wereworld #wereworld hector #wereworld drew

[infinite-xerath]

Thoughts on Sentinel and Ruined Skins

Alright, I plan to give my full thoughts on the entire event once it’s over, but for the time-being, I wanted to give my general thoughts on each skin so far. I’ll be putting this under a read-more for convenience.))

So I guess I’ll start by saying that I like the concept of the event as a whole, though I’ve got some gripes (as do many) with who was chosen to partake. I think, having played through the VN up to its current point, that they do a decent job justifying most of the characters who get Ruined/recruited. That said, it does annoy me that they didn’t even go all-in on the concept; one Sentinel and one Ruined champ per region could have been great, but then there are some regions that don’t even have one of each.

So yeah, in addition to giving my overall thoughts on each existing skin, I also wanna touch on who else I think could have been included.

Sentinel Vayne: In my opinion, the best Sentinel skin of the lot. Not only does it look good (arguably better than her original design) but Vayne is a natural fit for the Sentinels. She already devotes her life to hunting monsters and dark magic, so it absolutely makes sense that she would join up at least until the Ruination is dealt with.

Ruined Shyvana: I wasn’t so sure about this one at first, but I’ve warmed up to it now that we know how Viego’s possession works. Taking the worst aspects of someone’s personality and bringing them to the forefront? Yeah, go figure that Shyvana would give into her monstrous side and resentment for being persecuted almost every day of her life. You could argue that there were better picks, but hey, better Ruined Shyvana than yet another Lux skin, right?

Sentinel Olaf: While not my first choice, I can’t deny that it works in the long-run. The dude already has a history of fighting the undead in his endless quest to find a worthy foe capable of slaying him, and of course the Ruined King seems like a suitably worthy opponent for Olaf to go up against. That being said, I feel like we should have gotten a Ruined Champ from the Freljord as Olaf’s rival, rather than it just being Vex. I don’t mind Vex appearing when she did to have us encounter her for the first time, but she should have had a Ruined champ to help her, which leads me to...

Ruined Tryndamere: Come on, this one’s obvious. There are a few characters in the Freljord that might have fit the Ruined theme, but none more-so than Tryndamere, I think. The guy’s already got a whole thing about controlling his rage and trying to use it as a force for good in the Avarosa tribe. Imagine Viego corrupting Tryndamere and causing all of that primal fury to just explode forth. Plus, come ON Riot, Olaf vs Tryndamere. Battle of the Berserkers. Frankly, it’s absurd to me that Olaf hasn’t tried fighting Tryndamere already, given that they’re both too angry to die. He HAS to have at least heard about the Barbarian King, right?

Sentinel Riven: Honestly, this one is interesting to me. With the other Sentinels, we all kind of know/expect that they’ll return to normal once the event is over and go back to their status quo. Riven feels like an exception. As she stated herself in the event: she’s a wanted criminal in Noxus and it’s not exactly like she’d be super welcomed back in Ionia. She joins the Sentinels because she has nowhere else to go and no other cause to fight for once freed from Draven’s arena. Aside from Vayne, Riven feels like the one who’d most likely stay with the Sentinels once the event is over, even though I know that probably won’t happen. Still, I like her inclusion, all-in-all.

Ruined Draven: Honestly, not the one I would have picked. I mean, it’s just Draven. Absolutely nothing has changed from him being Ruined. Granted, I do think it’s absolutely hilarious that Draven’s worst version of himself is already just himself, an egotistical prick who craves attention, but there are way better picks in Noxus to see getting Ruined. I mean, the event teaser showed Darius getting possessed, and I think there’s a lot more to work with there. Also, am I the only one that thinks that Ruined Draven feels redundant when Soul Reaver Draven is already a thing?

Sentinel Diana: So this one I have some complicated feelings about. On one hand, it makes sense that Diana would join the fight against the undead for the sake of the Lunari. On the other, it feels like MOST of the Aspects should be getting involved with this. I mean, the VN has her say that the other Aspects ARE fighting the Undead all over Targon, but then you’d think we would wanna go and recruit them as well. Seriously, Taric? WTF are you, Protector? Also, Diana needing a Sentinel weapon is weird since we already confirmed that the Mist doesn’t like Celestial magic, but... Eh, the blade she gets is cool, I guess.

Ruined Pantheon: And here comes the controversial one... Right, so like many, I did not care for this skin. In fact, I still have reservations about it. I DO like that it is actually Ruined PANTHEON, because yeah, the Black Mist turns dead things undead. Go figure it could bring back the remnants of the war god lingering in Atreus. That’s a really cool idea, but there’s absolutely an argument to be made that it fucks with Atreus’s whole character arc and makes his seemingly indomitable will look like a joke... But hey, Viego himself said that he’d never be able to take a proper Aspect, which absolutely tracks, which kinda makes Atreus the only Targonian champion he COULD defeat and corrupt.

Sentinel Irelia: To be frank, not too much to say about this one. Irelia’s entire character motivation is defending her homeland against invaders, and... Yeah the undead definitely count as invaders. While someone like Shen probably would have been a better recruit for the Sentinels, Irelia works just fine.

Ruined Karma: And heeere’s another controversial one. Yeah, Karma is not the one I would have chosen. Honestly, just about anyone else from Ionia would have been a better fit for Ruination. Ruined Pantheon can be justified by the dead war god coming back and taking over Atreus’s body again, but Karma and her vessel Darha should have absolutely been able to resist it... And they kind of do. In the event, we actually do see Karma switching back and forth. She’s the only one we’ve seen fight back against Viego long enough to revert to her normal self, at least for a time. In fact, the implication that Darha is being corrupted while the entity of Karma itself fights back is neat. Still, I would have preferred Ruined Zed or something along those lines.

Sentinel Graves: OK, I love this skin. I don’t love the context around it. First of all, the fact that he’s the Sentinel for Piltover is dumb. Graves is from Bilgewater, and should have been the Sentinel we recruited there. I also don’t care for how Twisted Fate is completely missing and never even referenced from his story. Like, OK, Graves fled Bilgewater because it was already overcome with Harrowing. Fine. But... Did he just leave TF behind? If so, why does he have Fate’s blue card? There’s so much we’re missing here. I love that he’s joining just because he’s got a bone to pick with Viego, but Graves should have been the choice for Bilgewater. As for who should be the Piltover Sentinel? Well...

Sentinel Jayce: Think about it. Jayce is a character who’s had nothing to do in the Piltover/Zaun lore for ages. He already considers himself a hero and a defender of Piltover. Plus, imagine what a Sentinel version of his hammer would be like! Hell, Jayce’s whole conflict with Viktor revolves around their opposing beliefs around free will. Of course he’d have a word or two to say about the Ruined King, who’s running around and stripping people of their free will! On that note..

Ruined Viktor: Absolutely a perfect fit for Ruination. Under Viego’s influence, he could deem undeath as the next logical step of evolution, casting aside the limits of flesh and emotion for a spectral form where one’s thoughts were dictated by a single, “superior” consciousness. It would be a perfect contrast for Sentinel Jayce, and besides: we’ve already seen a ghostly version of this concept with Death Sworn Viktor. If Draven gets two undead skins, why not? Plus, we know that the Harrowing can effect machines thanks to Legends of Runeterra, so... Yeah. Ruined Viktor. Let’s go.

Sentinel Pyke: Another controversial one. While I like the general idea behind it, frankly, I would have just left Pyke as he is. We already have him fighting the undead in the Ruined King game, and we know Nagakabouros power can hurt the undead; there was no real need for him to pick up Sentinel gear. Much as I love the line “Wraiths, wraiths are on the list,” I would have just made Graves the Sentinel rep for Bilgewater and called it there.

Ruined Miss Fortune: This one just sucks. It absolutely sucks. The Sarah Fortune I know would have never gone to such lengths merely for power, especially when she already rules most of Bilgewater at this point. Her various short stories show her doing a pretty damn good job stamping out the warring factions challenging her rule, and even if she decided that she needed some kind of supernatural leg up on the competition, it’s not like Bilgewater is lacking in magic. Also, the design sucks, turning her back into the sex icon that they’ve spent the last 7 years moving her away from. Ruined Fortune sucks. As for who SHOULD have gotten the skin instead...

Ruined Gangplank: Now HERE’S a pirate lord desperate for power. He lost his ship, he lost his fleet, he lost his throne, he even lost an arm. Gangplank has been struggling to regain control of Bilgewater ever since Burning Tides, and while we haven’t heard much of him recently, it can be safely assumed that he’s not making much progress with how much control Sarah currently has. Gangplank is absolutely ruthless enough and immoral enough to bargain with the Ruined King for power. Plus, think about it: he’s already been “reborn” once, so to him, Ruination probably wouldn’t even be that big of a deal.

Sentinel Rengar: All things considered, I like this one. Rengar, I think, has one of the best justifications for joining the Sentinels. When Rengar’s jungle is invaded by wraiths, Rengar finds himself faced with monsters that even his skills cannot take down. Yeah, these undead are worthy prey challenging his reign as the apex predator in Kumungu, and if the Viego is their alpha, then he’s the target to go for. Now, obviously he’s still got a hunt for Kha’Zix that has yet to be resolved, but let’s be honest: we’re never going to see that rivalry conclude, and this is the most lore relevance Rengar has had in ages. I’m for this skin, though of course we do still have the issue of who in Kumungu would be a good Ruined rival for him. On that note...

Ruined Zyra: Alright, here me out. Ixtal as a region doesn’t have that many characters, let-alone good candidates for Ruination. Perhaps the best and most obvious candidate would be Qiyana, but I take issue with this for a few reasons. Firstly, accepting Ruination for the power to rule is already something we’ve done with MF/GP, and second, I don’t think the Shadow Isles aesthetic works super well with her elemental-swapping gameplay. I chose Ruined Zyra because, well, Zyra already wants to spread her plants far and wide across Runeterra, and the Mist would be a great method for carrying seeds, not to mention making her offspring harder to prune. Not the most deep, but yeah, I think Ruined Zyra would have been a cool concept to work with.

Lastly...

Unbound Thresh: A mistake. I’ve already made my opinions on Thresh’s lore abundantly clear in my rewrite for him, and this skin just destroys any hope for his character for me. This sexy E-Boy is unquestionably the worst thing to come out of the whole event, and whatever Riot is planning to do with Thresh in the future, it does NOT justify this design. Plus, the whole idea that an undead character can become “unbound” is just dumb. Like, when has it ever been implied that Thresh himself was actually bound in any way? He’s one of the few Shadow Isles entities that can freely leave the Mist, at least for a time! Yeah, this skin was a mistake, but Riot has to cash in on the simps, I suppose.

Anyways, I’ll give my thoughts on the story itself once this is all said and done, but for now, these are my takes on the individual skins. Hope you all enjoyed hearing me ramble.

#Outofpower #Ruination

[emjenenla]

I’m safe inside the light, so go on do your worst Part Two [A Stormlight Archive Fanfic]

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Elhokar was a failure at everything he’d ever done. He’d failed as a son, as a warrior and as a king. He saw no reason to fail as a Knight Radiant too. Or the one where Elhokar swears to the first Ideal at the end of WoK.

Warnings: Domestic Violence, Self-Esteem Issues

You know how I said this was going to be three parts? Yeah, I lied. At least this new four-part plan gives you more story to chew on while I inevitably get writer's block trying to deal with the failed get-Sadeas-to-duel-Adolin scheme which is my least favorite part of WoR for reasons that have nothing to do with Elhokar.

Also, I am planning to change the title of this work once I come up with something better, so the title might be different by the time I post part three.

Life went on, at least that was probably what happened to people who hadn’t been attacked by their uncles and bullied into handing over some more of their already shaky power. Elhokar, however, was having a hard time going on. At first he had nightmares that sometimes caused him to scream so loudly that his guards came running (of course they did that now when he wasn’t in any actual danger). After that had gone on for a while Elhokar became so terrified of reliving Dalinar’s attack in his dreams that he couldn’t sleep unless he downed a couple glasses of violet wine before lying down. When he was awake, he so panicky that he jumped at shadows and the smallest slights and threats were enough to send him into fits of hysterics.

And then there was the problem of the Stormlight. The spheres in his lamps and pockets were constantly going dun, some within hours of being recharged. Shadow had explained that was a byproduct of their bond and that Elhokar could learn to use the Light to do things if he practiced, but Elhokar didn’t even want to think about actually using the Light; he needed to figure out how to make it stop. He drew on a fair amount of Stormlight every time someone so much as mentioned Dalinar, eventually he was going to get caught and he didn’t want to explain what was happening.

“You look terrible. Have you slept?” Navani asked one morning when he was visiting her in her chambers.

“I’m fine,” Elhokar said. Shadow buzzed quietly, but Elhokar silently argued that it wasn’t really a lie. He was a lot more alert than he should have been given that he was running on about three hours of toss and turn sleep and a hangover. He suspected all the Stormlight had something to do with how surprisingly decent he was feeling, but he wasn’t about to tell Navani that.

“And you’ve been more anxious recently too,” Navani went on. “What’s been bothering you?”

“Oh, the usual,” Elhokar lied, making sure he kept his gaze focused on the view of the Plains out the window while he spoke. He was learning to be a better liar--something he couldn’t tell if Shadow liked or not--but he still couldn’t look someone in the eyes and lie convincingly, “Nothing particularly worth mentioning.”

Navani didn’t respond for a long time, and eventually Elhokar turned to look at her. Her lips were pressed together in thought, like she had sensed the lie and was trying to scope out the the truth. Navani and her two children had been cursed with the utter inability to truly understand each other. That said, Elhokar and Navani were much closer than Navani and Jasnah were because Navani found Elhokar at the very least less inscrutable than Jasnah. Navani might have been able to figure out at least part of what was bothering Elhokar if given enough time and he didn’t want to risk it.

“Mother,” he said as gently as possible. “Nothing out of the ordinary is wrong.”

“Dalinar said you’ve been calling him to investigate less supposed assassination attempts,” Navani said. “It’s good that your fear of assassination is fading, though I wish you would confide in me about what this new worry is. You’re starting to look like a walking corpse.”

Elhokar didn’t have the heart to tell her that his fear of assassination was just as strong as it had ever been, but that it had now been eclipsed by the fear of being assassinated by Dalinar.

The next time Dalinar held one of his “Oh look, my brilliant plan to use my ill-gotten power to force people to do what I want isn’t working” planning meetings, he brought along a contingency of darkeyed guards. Elhokar, like everyone else in the Warcamps, had heard about the bridgemen Dalinar had freed from Sadeas and turned into guards, but this was the first time he’d actually seen them. He was leery at first, as he always was of new people, but their leader--a serious man younger than Renarin with slave marks and a shash brand on his forehead--turned out to be very open to the idea that someone might be trying to hurt his charges which was refreshing. Still, Elhokar reminded himself that these bridgemen were even more firmly indebted to Dalinar than Elhokar’s lighteyed guards were; he could not trust them to actually save him if Dalinar told them not to.

Even though Elhokar was technically supposed to be in charge, Dalinar took over the planning, rambling around disarming the highprinces and treating them like new recruits and a million other things that were probably going to get not just him and Elhokar killed but everyone they cared about too. Elhokar tried to point that out, hoping that appealing to Dalinar’s hopefully more genuine feelings for Navani, Adolin and Renarin would actually convince the man to see sense.

“Yes, you are right,” Dalinar said, regretfully. “I hadn’t… but yes. That is how they think.” He sounded so sincere and gentle, like a kindly old grandfather. How did he manage that? Elhokar was torn between wanting to run the other way and wanting to get down on his knees and beg for the secret.

“And you’re still willing to go through with this plan?”

“I have no choice,” Dalinar said like that should be obvious.

Elhokar forced himself to go on, “Then at least tell me this: What is your endgame, Uncle? What is it you want out of all this? In a year, if we survive this fiasco, what do you want us to be?” That was boldest Elhokar had dared to be with Dalinar since the incident, and the sheer audacity of it made his stomach clench.

Dalinar was silent for a long time, simply staring out the window. “I’ll have us be what we were before, son. A kingdom that can stand through storms, a kingdom that is a light and not a darkness. I will have a truly unified Alethkar, with highprinces who are loyal and just. I’ll have more than that. I’m going to refound the Knights Radiant.”

Captain Kaladin jerked like he’d just been stung by something. Elhokar felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. He hadn’t really thought about what his strange connection to a creature claiming to be a spren meant, but Jasnah had used him as a sounding board on occasion--most likely because she’d assumed he wouldn’t understand what she was talking about--and some things had stuck in his head. Shadow began buzzing in a soft but discordant tone Elhokar had learned meant she was upset. That only confirmed his budding suspicions; whatever was happening to him had something to do with the Knights Radiant.

Great.

“Are you mad, Brightlord?” Brightness Teshav asked. “The Radiants? You’re going to try to rebuild a sect of traitors who gave us over to the Voidbringers?”

“The rest of this sounds good, Father,” Adolin said with a calm logic that most people probably wouldn’t have believed he possessed. “I know you think about the Radiants a lot, but you see them...differently than everyone else. It won’t go well if you announce that you want to emulate them.”

Elhokar felt like he was standing by watching everything even remotely sane about his life crumble to ash. Where they really seriously discussing refounding the Knights Radiant? The idea should have been dismissed as a joke the instant it was brought up, but Adolin and Brightness Teshav were trying to come up with logical reasons why refounding an organization of traitors that everyone hated was a bad idea. They were all so in Dalinar’s thrawl that they were actually considering it.

That wasn’t even the only problem. Shadow wouldn’t have gotten worked up if Dalinar was just spouting nonsense. Her reaction suggested that there was a real connection between her and the Knights Radiant, which meant that there was a real connection between Elhokar and the Knights Radiant.

Elhokar couldn’t help it, he covered his face and groaned.

“Am I a Knight Radiant?” Elhokar asked Shadow the instant they were alone.

She paused for a moment as if considering how she wanted to respond. “Not yet,” she said slowly.

“So I’m supposed to be a Knight Radiant,” Elhokar pushed on. “Dalinar is actually on the right track.”

“The way he plans to refound the Knights Radiant is not the way it is supposed to happen,” Shadow said. “The Knights Radiant must rise again, but it should be at the initiative of those who were chosen not at the behest of some over-zealous warlord with visions he thinks are from the Almighty.”

“People who are chosen,” Elhokar repeated. “People like me? Why would you choose me to be a Knight Radiant? Unless you want to make sure everyone hates them again. You can’t honestly expect me to believe that you thought I could actually manage to be a hero.”

“It doesn’t matter what I believe you capable of,” Shadow said. “It’s what you believe yourself capable of that matters.”

“Why do you always do that?” Elhokar burst out.

“Do what?” Shadow asked. She actually had the audacity to sound confused.

“Talk about me like I’m not a failure of a king and a pushover,” Elhokar said. “You’ve seen plenty of proof of both, why keep denying it?”

“One of us needs to have some self-esteem,” Shadow said curtly. “And since it’s obviously not going to be you…”

“What do you want me to do, Shadow?” Elhokar snapped marching across the room and flinging his hand out to his side. “Summon my Shardblade and waltz around the warcamps proclaiming the Knights Radiant reborn? If I was lucky people might actually kill me for being a legitimate threat and not just because Alethkar can’t have an insane ruler.”

“Elhokar,” Shadow said in a very peculiar tone. “You might not want to draw your-”

Elhokar’s Shardblade formed in his hand and the instant his fingers closed around it a dreadful screaming filled his head. It was as if something was crying out in pain, like something had been trapped unendingly in the moment of its murder.

Elhokar cried out and dropped the Shardblade. The instant he let go of the Blade the screaming stopped. Elhokar stumbled across the room and threw up in one decorative vases in the corner of the room. The screaming was one of the most horrid he’d ever experienced, up there with the battles which were little more than wholesale slaughters Gavilar and Dalinar had made him witness as a child to “give him a stomach for fighting.”

The guards burst in because they were evidently still under orders to pretend to care about his well being when it suited Dalinar. “I’m fine,” Elhokar growled, spitting bile into the vase. “Get out.”

“Your Majesty-” the guard began.

“Am I your king or not?” Elhokar snapped. “I ordered you out. Get out!”

The guards blinked looking like they were surprised to see their charge doing something other than whining about assassination attempts. “Yes, Your Majesty.” They said and slunk out of the room.

Elhokar leaned back against the wall and slid to the floor in a trembling heap. “You see?” He said to Shadow. “I can’t even use a Shardblade anymore.”

“I hate those things,” Shadow said coasting across the floor towards him. “They’re perversions.”

“I don’t care what you think of them,” Elhokar said. “No one will take an Alethi King who can’t use a Shardblade seriously.”

Shadow was silent for an almost outrageously long time. “What?” Elhokar asked when he couldn’t take it anymore.

“As time goes on I remember more and more,” Shadow said slowly. “I’m just not sure what I should tell you and what you should be allowed to figure out for yourself.”

“Oh,” Elhokar groaned. “So now you’re hiding things from me.”

“I-” Shadow seemed a little thrown. “I’m just not sure if telling you would be the best way to do it. I don’t want to hurt your development by telling you something you were supposed to figure it out on your own. Though I suppose if it bothers you so much I could just-”

She was cut off by a fist pounding heavily on the door. “Elhokar? Elhokar are you alright?” Dalinar. Elhokar felt his entire body go stiff. “Elhokar!”

Elhokar didn’t respond. His heart was beating wildly in his throat. Maybe if he said nothing Dalinar would just go away.

No such luck. “Elhokar, I’m coming in,” Dalinar said and forced his way into the room. Elhokar tried to stay as still and quiet as possible, but Dalinar saw him right away.

“Are you alright?” Dalinar crossed the floor in a couple steps to kneel before him. “The guards said you were sick.”

“I’m fine.” Elhokar said. If he was someone like Dalinar or even Adolin he might have managed to say that so it was believable or at least so no one would question him. However, Elhokar had a feeling that he just sounded like a child who was terrified his uncle was going to beat him up.

“Elhokar,” Dalinar said. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Elhokar lied. He couldn’t look Dalinar in the face so instead he stared at the man’s shoulder. “It must have just been something I ate. I’m feeling better now.”

“The guards said they heard you scream,” Dalinar said. “Did something else happen?”

“I’m fine!” Elhokar pushed himself to his feet and crossed the room, trying hide that he was still shaking.

Dalinar was silent and when Elhokar turned he was studying him with his lips pursed. “What?” he asked.

“You’re not panicking about being poisoned,” Dalinar said. He spoke in a tone of voice that suggested he didn’t realize he was being sort of insulting. “I’ve never known you to be this calm in the face of the unexpected.”

Calm? Elhokar’s stomach was still churning and he wasn’t completely convinced he wasn’t going to throw up again. He couldn’t get the memory of the screaming out of his head, and Dalinar’s presence was doing nothing for his nerves. He was anything but calm.

“There’s nothing wrong,” Elhokar said trying to look calmer than he actually was. “I told you; it was probably just something I ate. I feel better now.”

Dalinar studies him for a moment then stood up. “You might be right, but I still think it would be best if you let someone look at you. You’re not acting like yourself.”

Elhokar had to bite his tongue to hold back a snort of laughter. He spent half his life trying to convince Dalinar to take his fears seriously and the one time he tried to get him to ignore something the man latched onto it. It was almost unbelievable.

“Fine,” He eventually said. “If it makes you feel better. I’m not going anywhere.”

“It does,” Dalinar said with a nod. “I’ll be right back,” and he left.

Elhokar sighed and sunk down into the sofa and leaned his head against the armrest.

“His plan won’t work,” Shadow grumbled. It sounded a little like she was just beginning to vocalize the thoughts that had been running through her mind the entire time Dalinar had been there. “You can’t expect strong-arming people who don’t like you to work.”

“It works on me,” Elhokar whispered, his voice so quiet that it was barely more than air blowing over his lips. “And he knows it. He knows. He knows it all. He must.”

“What do you mean by ‘he knows it all?’” Shadow asked.

“Nothing,” Elhokar said perhaps a bit louder than he should have.

Shadow was silent for so long that Elhokar started to think the conversation was over, then she said, “The Words you swore after our run-in with Dalinar are the only official Oaths that you have to swear,” she spoke gently but very deliberately, like she knew she might upset him but felt that she needed to speak anyway. “However, the bond between us becomes stronger each time you reveal a deep truth about yourself. The less people who know the truth, the more powerful it is. If you’re hiding something it might be best to just confess it now and get it over with.”

Elhokar’s stomach clenched at the thought. While he didn’t tell a lot of outright lies he did have a number of things he simply hid. Still, what Shadow was asking about, that was different. She was asking for the only thing that he had never told anyone, not even his sister. It was a secret that would confirm all the worst things that had ever been said about him. It was a secret so horrible and shameful that if he told it, no one, not even a liespren, would ever associate with him again. He would become the ultimate liability.

“There’s nothing to tell,” he said.

“Elhokar,” Shadow began.

“That’s all.” he snapped and deliberately closed his eyes, effectively ending the conversation.

Things passed tensely which was not necessarily a surprise. Brightlord Amaram showed up which made Dalinar really happy, though Elhokar couldn’t figure out if that was just because he liked Amaram or because the brightlord was part of Dalinar’s plan. He was honestly afraid to ask.

They continued on with the planning meetings, though Dalinar’s plan still seemed insane. During one such meeting, Elhokar hung on until he couldn’t stand it anymore then headed out onto the balcony to get some air. He still couldn’t be around Dalinar and remain calm, not to mention other things were worrying him. Jasnah was supposed to have arrived at the Shattered Plains with Adolin’s new causal betrothed, but there had been no sign of either woman and no word. No one else seemed to be worrying about it, they kept saying things like “Jasnah always gets distracted and runs off to do other things. She’ll turn up.” Elhokar was worried, but of course he was always worried and as a result no one took him seriously, even though from what Navani had said it seemed like Jasnah had been quite keen on coming to the Shattered Plains.

Elhokar was worrying about all the harms which could have befallen his sister when he leaned against the railing and the whole thing gave way. For one horrible instant he was falling then he grabbed hold of a stable piece of railing and was jerked to a stop. He sucked in a breath and his veins flared up with Stormlight giving him enough strength to hold on and probably haul himself up once he calmed down enough to think. He swore as fouly as he was able, completely throwing all kingly decorum to the winds.

Adolin reached him first, and clung to his wrists until Dalinar arrived and they hauled Elhokar back up onto the balcony together. Elhokar half wanted to protest that he could have climbed up on his own, but he wasn’t known for his upper body strength and he didn’t want people asking pointed questions.

Once he was safely back up on the balcony, Dalinar ushered Elhokar inside with a hand on his back, seemingly unaware of how every muscle in Elhokar’s body tensed at his touch. Elhokar separated himself from his uncle as soon as possible and pointedly did not look towards the balcony. He wouldn’t be going out there again for a long time, possibly not ever. He kept his teeth clenched together, refusing to allow any of the words he wanted to say escape. He didn’t think he could handle his fears being pushed aside again.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Adolin said. He sounded breathless and flustered, which was weird, because Elhokar had always been under the impression that neither of his cousins particularly liked him. “What are the chances that an entire section of soulcast railing just gives way right when the king leans against it? It must have been an assassination attempt.”

Elhokar held his breath as he waited for Dalinar to berate Adolin and tell him that he was overreacting. However, all Dalinar did was look at Elhokar like he was hoping Elhokar had suddenly gone deaf and hadn’t heard then said, “You have a very legitimate point. Has someone sent for Captain Kaladin?”

Highstorms were on the list of things that didn’t terrify Elhokar. Sure, they made him uncomfortable, but no more so than any other person. If anything, he was actually less anxious during Highstorms because no one could get to him to assassinate him. Highstorms were better protection than bodyguards, especially when all your bodyguards were more loyal to your uncle than they were to you.

Ever since they’d realized that Dalinar was experiencing visions from the Almighty during Highstorms not raving madly, he and Navani had spent the Highstorms closed up in a private room. Dalinar described his visions and Navani copied them down, normally phonetically because Dalinar didn’t usually speak Alethi and often spoke in languages or dialects even Navani didn’t know. Navani had mentioned once in passing that she wished she had Jasnah to help her, and Elhokar had quickly avoiding the topic, because the easiest way to not to be terrified about his sister’s safety was not to think about her at all.

This particular Highstorm, Captain Kaladin was head of their guards, though the man bizarrely fell asleep partway through the Storm, something that Elhokar hadn’t even realized was possible. Adolin thought it was pretty funny and started speculating about how long it would take the bridgeman to notice if he drew a mustache on him.

“Remind me not to fall asleep around Adolin,” Elhokar muttered to Shadow, shifting into a more comfortable position in his armchair.

“I will keep that in mind,” Shadow said. “It would be very embarrassing if your cousin were to draw-” then she cut herself off and began buzzing in her high-pitched, something’s wrong tone.

Elhokar scrambled to his feet and headed to the privy without looking at Adolin and Renarin for fear of them seeing something. The roar of the Highstorm could cover Shadow’s voice when she was being quiet, but he didn’t want to risk someone hearing her like this.

He closed and locked the privy door behind him and turned to face the mirror, looking directly at the place where Shadow was riding on his shirt just over his heart, half-hidden by his coat. “Alright, what happened?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

Shadow buzzed again, a high-pitched, whining sound. She was actually vibrating a little, almost like a tremor. “Something’s coming,” she said, her words so full of frightened buzz that she was hard to understand. “It’s bad. He’s bad.”

“What do you mean ‘he?’” Elhokar asked, a sinking feeling starting in his chest and travelling down to his stomach.

“Elhokar,” Shadow said quietly, still vibrating. “It’s not safe.”

Elhokar pushed the privy door open and burst out into the main room. The scene had changed. The door to Dalinar and Navani’s room was open and Adolin and Renarin were standing in it, Captain Kaladin was nowhere in sight. Elhokar struck out across the room trying to decide how to approach this. It wasn’t like he could say that a spren had told him it wasn’t safe, but if he said anything else people would just think he was being paranoid.

When he reached his cousins he found that Captain Kaladin was inside the room talking to Navani. “Can you wake him?” the bridgeman was asking. “We need to leave this room, leave this place.”

“What’s going on?” Elhokar asked pushing by his cousins and stepping into the room.

“You’re not safe here, Your Majesty,” Kaladin said. There was a wild sort of knowing in his gaze, the same kind of knowing that was burning its way through Elhokar’s veins. This bridgeman knew something was wrong, Elhokar wasn’t sure how but he knew. “We need to get you out of the palace and take you to the warcamp.”

“This is ridiculous,” Adolin objected from behind him. “This is the safest place in the warcamps. You want us to leave? Drag the king out into the storm?”

“We need to wake the highprince,” Kaladin said, turning towards Dalinar. Elhokar was impressed by the man’s refusal to be pushed aside even after being called ridiculous.

Dalinar caught Kaladin’s arm before the bridgeman could do anything. “The highprince is awake,” he said. “What is going on here?”

“The bridgeboy wants us to evacuate the palace,” Adolin explained.

Dalinar looked to Kaldin for his explanation.

“It’s not safe here, sir.” Kaladin said.

“What makes you say that?”

There was slight, almost awkward pause then Kaladin said, “Instinct, sir.”

Dalinar stared at Kaladin for a minute then he got to his feet. “We go, then.”

Elhokar breathed an audible sigh of relief, that got him a weird look from everyone in the room, but thankfully Kaladin was too worried about whatever instinct had him asking for them to move to let anyone ask questions. He ran to the door, gave some orders to his men, then came back and grabbed Elhokar by the arm. Elhokar jerked and almost pulled away, but reminded himself that he was supposed to be a confused king, not a maybe-Radiant who knew something was going on and let himself be lead.

They ran down the hall towards the kitchens. Kaladin’s hand was like a vice around Elhokar’s arm, cutting off his circulation. It did nothing to make Elhokar less nervous. He would have liked to be able to pretend that his captain of guard knew how to protect them from whatever threat they were facing.

They came around the corner and there were no lights. Elhokar had never known the palace to ever have a dark hallway, even during the Weeping. Something was very wrong.

“Wait,” Adolin said, voicing everyone’s concerns. “Why is it dark? What happened to the spheres?”

The realization struck Elhokar a moment later. “They’ve been drained of Stormlight.”

Kaladin jerked like he hadn’t expected anyone else to realize that. Then he pulled out a sphere for light and they could all see the hole cut into the wall leading outside.

“Danger,” Shadow buzzed. “Danger.”

There was movement from a side corridor, then a figure dressed all in white and streaming Stormlight stepped into the hallway and Elhokar’s heart stopped. He had not actually seen the Assassin in White the night the man had killed Gavilar, but he’d been obsessed with and terrified by the man for six years so he knew what the man looked like.

All around him his family members and the bridgemen burst into motion, but Elhokar was frozen. He was staring down the thing he had feared for years, and he couldn’t breathe let alone think.

One of the bridgemen, grabbed him by the arm and Elhokar jumped. “Your majesty,” the bridgeman said. “Come with me.”

Elhokar let the bridgeman drag him down the hall, away from the darkness and the death. Vaguely he was aware of Navani and Renarin and another bridgeman running with them, but he could barely focus on anything. His chest was tight as a vice and there was a roaring in his ears.

They stopped running and Elhokar’s legs gave out. He slid to the floor in a pathetic heap, wheezing for breath. “Moash, where did the Assassin go?” Renarin asked from somewhere above him. “Is he not following?”

“Maybe he got stopped by the Kal and others,” the bridgeman who hadn’t been dragging Elhokar along--Moash?--said.

“Captain Kaladin can take him,”  the other bridgeman said.

A hand settled on Elhokar’s shoulder. “Elhokar?” Navani asked. “Are you alright?”

“I can’t breathe,” Elhokar panted.

Moash might have snorted and muttered something under his breath, but Elhokar was too busy trying to breathe to really worry about it. Navani ran a hand up and down his back, comfortingly.

“Is he alright?” the other bridgeman asked. “What’s wrong?”

“He’ll be fine,” Navani said. “This happens sometimes.”

“I can carry him if we need to,” Renarin said sounding annoyed.

That was a level of humiliation that Elhokar would not stand. He struggled to his feet. “I’m fine,” he said, still trying to get air to circulate through his lungs. “We can go now.”

Navani got up, but kept her hand on his elbow. She looked at him like she wanted to ask a question, but he pointedly ignored her. Why couldn’t she let him at least attempt to pretend this hadn’t happened? No to mention, they did need to move. The Assassin could have killed Dalinar, Adolin and Kaladin by now and be stalking the halls for them. Elhokar desperately wanted to ask Shadow if she could tell where the Assassin was, but he already looked weak enough without seeming to talk to himself.

Moash was staring at him with an expression that wasn’t exactly neutral, though Elhokar couldn’t figure out what it was instead. “Alright,” the bridgeman said. “Let’s go.”

On the day that Dalinar held a meeting of all the highprinces to discuss the threat of the Assassin in White, Elhokar was somewhere on the weird line between hungover and still drunk. He’d been drinking quite a bit since Dalinar had attacked him in an effort to calm his nerves, but in the days since the Assassin it had increased exponentially. This was partially to keep from panicking and partially because he wasn’t stupid enough not to realize that the Assassin had actually been after Dalinar. He was stuck somewhere between shame that not even the Assassin in freaking White thought he was enough of a threat to bother killing and guilty relief that he might get to survive the whole fiasco. Either way, he was stuck at a meeting being lead by his usurping uncle and not brave enough to do anything about it even while mildly intoxicated.

With no better options, Elhokar sat on his throne and let Dalinar do the talking. Even knowing that Dalinar was the one in real danger he still felt horribly exposed without his Shardplate. Perhaps he actually was, after all someone had masterminded the railing assassination attempt and that probably hadn’t been the Assassin. However, he couldn’t actually wear the armor because the gems on the inside kept cracking or going dun. He had a feeling that had something to do with him being a Knight Radiant in the making, so he’d stopped wearing the Plate to keep people from asking questions he couldn’t answer.

Unsurprisingly to probably everyone but Dalinar, the meeting accomplished nothing. When they paused for a break several hours in the only indication that any time had passed was the change in the sun’s position. Elhokar was now firmly on the hungover side of the intoxication scale, and the bright sunlight filtering into the chamber was only making his headache worse. He was pretty sure he could use Stormlight to make himself feel better, but he’d been getting really paranoid about people noticing how often his person spheres were going dun. He would probably only use the Stormlight if he started to feel like he was going to throw up, because vomiting during a meeting like this would be a level of humiliating he refused to sink to.

He’d been sitting for several minutes nursing a goblet of orange wine and contemplating a stronger color to test something Jasnah had mentioned once about hangovers basically being withdrawals, when Navani turned away from the conversation she had been having and practically fled from the room. Dalinar was left standing with a red-haired girl Elhokar had never seen before, looking like he was thinking about going after her but couldn’t decide if that was his job.

Elhokar was on his feet almost before he decided to move. He didn’t bother with any excuses because the highprinces were all to busy scheming to pretend that Elhokar was little more than a comma to their obsession with beating Dalinar. Still a couple people did look up and call after him, but he ignored them and ducked into the cool and dim hallway after his mother.

Navani had been moving fast and had already vanished around a corner. Elhokar broke into a jog to catch up. Each step drove a spear of pain into his brain so he finally sucked in a little Stormlight to ease his headache. The passage was empty and that was a little unnerving; Elhokar hadn’t been without guards since his father’s death.

When he rounded the first corner he saw Navani up ahead. “Mother!” he called breaking into a faster pace that would probably be classified as an actual run.

For one minute Elhokar thought she was just going to ignore him, but then she stopped in the middle of the hallway and whirled to face him just as he caught up. There were actual tears in her eyes and the sight of them froze Elhokar’s blood. He had never seen seen Navani cry.

“Mother?” Elhokar ventured, hesitantly. “What’s wrong?”

Navani took a deep, shaky breath. “That girl,” she said, “apparently she just arrived in the Warcamps. She claims to be Shallan Davar.”

“Who?” Elhokar asked blankly. The name sounded vaguely familiar but he wasn’t able to place it.

“Jasnah’s new ward,” Navani said. “The one who we were talking about marrying to Adolin.”

“Right,” Elhokar said, a little knot of anxiety loosening. If Jasnah’s ward was here that meant Jasnah must be here too, she was fine. He’d been worrying for nothing. “Then I’m afraid that I don’t understand what’s wrong. Isn’t that good?”

“This girl says,” Navani swallowed unsteadily. “That during their trip here they were attacked by pirates and that…And that Jasnah was killed.”

The small sliver of relief died. Elhokar felt a hole open up inside himself. He didn’t try to convince himself that it wasn’t true. He knew it was true. He’d known for weeks that something horrible had happened to Jasnah, all this was confirmation. His sister was gone. “Mother,” he said, a sob coloring his voice. “I-”

“The girl must be an imposter,” Navani said, straightening her spine and making as if to push her hair out of her face though it was still perfectly in place. “She must be lying. Jasnah will show up. She always does.”

“Mother,” Elhokar said, trying to figure out how to tell one of the most rational women alive that she was being irrational. “I don’t think that girl would-” And then it really hit him. Jasnah was gone. Jasnah who had once when they were children tried to comfort him while he cried by rambling about how tears were just meant to lubricate the eyes so crying when emotional didn’t actually make any sense. Jasnah who had at least listened to his worries even if she thought they were as irrational as everyone else did. Jasnah who had looked at him as her shadow fell in an impossible direction and trusted him to keep it a secret. Jasnah who had probably been a potential Radiant and everything that the refounded Order both Dalinar and Shadow wanted on their side. One sob burst out of his mouth and another and another. He tried to force them back, but he couldn’t.

Navani’s safehand came to rest gently on the side of his face. He looked up at her and her face crumbled into a sob as well. They sank to the floor and clutched at each other in a heap of sobbing bodies. Elhokar’s face was pressed against Navani’s shoulder and hers was pressed against his. They were gripping each other’s clothes in white-knuckle grips, squeezing each other so tightly it was a wonder they could breathe.

Dimly Elhokar was aware that this was wrong. Alethi didn’t break down, let alone is hallways where anyone could walk by. Even Elhokar, weak as he was, hadn’t cried for his father, and if Navani had cried for her husband it was only when no one could see her. They shouldn’t be doing this, but he wasn’t sure if he could stop.

Some indeterminable amount of time later, Elhokar became aware of someone clearing their throat rather loudly. He lifted his head from Navani’s shoulder, where he’d managed to soak a patch of her dress with his tears. Moash was standing a handful of paces distant with a look of open hatred on his face. It wasn’t the kind of contempt Elhokar would have expected from an Alethi discovering other Alethi in an emotionally compromised position, it was a look of pure, animal hatred. It was only there for a moment, then it was gone. Elhokar must have just been paranoid. Still, he wished that Kaladin spent more time guarding him and not this man, even if you didn’t believe Adolin’s crazy story about Kaladin taking a Shardblade to an arm that was now completely healthy.

“What?” he asked. His voice clogged with tears and snot. It was humiliating.

“The meeting is beginning again,” Moash said, voice normal, if a bit clipped. “I will need to escort you back. It’s not safe with the Assassin in White running around.”

They could not go back, not with evidence of their breakdowns imprinted clearly on their faces. Elhokar might have been able to use Stormlight to erase that, but what he could do needed to remain a secret. “In case you hadn’t noticed,” he said to Moash. “The Assassin is after Dalinar, so we’re probably fine.”

He felt Navani stiffen, apparently she like everyone else thought he hadn’t figured that out. Thankfully she didn’t comment, because when she straightened up she pushed her now slightly messy hair back and said, “You can escort us to my son’s chambers. If you’re so worried, you can post more guards for us there.”

Moash argued a little, but no one could stand up to Navani Kholin when she had her mind made up. Eventually he did as she asked and Elhokar found himself curled up with Navani in his big bed. They cried on and off for a long time, and eventually Elhokar ended up lying with his head buried in a pillow while Navani stroked his head the way she had when he was a child. Neither of them said a word.

Elhokar was on the edge of sleep when someone knocked tentatively on the door. “Enter,” Navani called, her powerful queen’s voice back.

The door opened and someone came in. “Are you alright?” Dalinar asked. Elhokar stiffened a little, but Navani’s fingers kept running through his hair and that relaxed him again. Navani would protect him. She wouldn’t let Dalinar attack him again. He resumed his slow float to sleep.

“We’re fine,” Navani replied stiffly.

“Navani…” Dalinar sounded like he wasn’t sure how to proceed. “About Jasnah-”

“Don’t say anything about Jasnah,” Navani said tightly. “There’s nothing to say. That girl must be mistaken. Jasnah will be back.”

“Navani, you can’t just-” Dalinar paused as he tried to figure out what to say, but Elhokar never got to hear what he came up with, because that was when he slid away into the relatively peaceful embrace of sleep.

#The Stormlight Archive #Words of Radiance #fanfiction #fanfic #elhokar kholin #dalinar kholin #navani kholin #shadow (original spren character) #kaladin stormblessed #adolin kholin #renarin kholin #moash #part two #I promise this will actually diverge from canon eventually #sorry too lazy to be more creative with my tags today #emjenenla #Emjen writes #tw: panic attack #tw: death of a family member #tw: assassination attempt

[trbl-will-find-me]

Every Exit, An Entrance (11/?)

There are two (and only two) possibilities: either she led XCOM to victory and they are now engaged in a clean up operation of alien forces, or XCOM was overrun, clearing the way for an alien-controlled puppet government to seize control of the planet.

She’d really like to figure out which it is, but asking hardly seems the prudent option.

Read from the start here

They’ve got a solid lead on the local Resistance. Recent signs of life and regular heat signatures bode well for their hopes of making contact. But, it would seem she’s forgotten the first rule of war, maybe even the first rule of life: anything that can fuck you over, will.

The images before the feed cuts out are horrific, civilians scrambling to evade well-armed, well-armored troops dropping from ships onto the ground below. The adrenaline kicks and blood pounds in her ears.

Deep breaths, she tells herself. No good decision has ever been made as the kick comes. You have to think this through. You have to think. Have to —

“Commander, we have to do something!”

It was always the terror attacks that used to get under his skin. Of all the things the John Bradford she knew could not abide, it was civilian casualties. XCOM’s men made a choice. A death reverberated through the ranks for weeks after; the alcohol stores ran dangerously low. But he’d remind her that their men believed in a cause and were willing to die for it, that they’d find a way to make that sacrifice mean something. Truth be told, she was never sure if he’d said it for her benefit or his.

But civilian deaths were something else entirely. XCOM’s job was to stop the unstoppable, to save the un-save-able. They were meant to be some bastion of strength, of hope. They weren’t supposed to watch as families were slaughtered, as lives were cut short without regard, as parents lost children and children lost parents. Civilian casualties never sat well with Central.

They could spend weeks after an attack analyzing the footage, playing and replaying decisions and tactics. Could they have been faster? Should they have sent in more mobile forces? Should they have taken a more offensive stance, or would a more defensive one have spared additional lives?

“Go,” she says, nodding towards the controls. “Shen,” she continues, pressing a finger to her ear. “We’re headed in to deal with ADVENT in one of the havens. Do what you can to prep some extra medkits and take stock of what we can spare to help them back on their feet. Tygan, get ready. We’re gonna have wounded.”

“I should be on that team,” Sally says somewhere behind her. “You’ve gotta know that.”

“No,” Central growls.

“I’ve been through these. You’ve seen me. I know what to expect.”

“No.”

“Look, I get that I’m grounded, but come on. This isn’t about me wanting to be in the field; this is about me being damn well qualified for this. How many did we survive?”

“I’m not having this conversation with you.”

The ship thrums to life around them.

“What was the point of teaching me to shoot if you’re not gonna field me when I could help?”

“Drop it.”

“What’s the point of me being on this ship if you’re not gonna trust me on an op?”

“You want off? You’re eighteen at the end of next month, but right now, we have a job to do.”

She looks up in time to see the hurt flash across the girl’s face.

 “Fine,” Sally says. “That’s how you wanna play this, maybe you’ve got the right idea.”

“Bien fait, ma —“

“Thomas,” the Commander snaps. “Go prep the gear. We’re not gonna have time to spare.”

Royston’s hands curl into fists and then slowly, reluctantly unclench once again. Wallace offers her a sympathetic look from his position and she manages a small, miserable smile in return.

“Kelly, Gunda, Krieger, Zaytsev, gear up,” she says, turning her attention to the Hologlobe. “You’re being deployed to an in-progress retaliation. Let’s go, guys — we’ve got people counting on us.”

–

“I think the Council might have had a point,” she says, sitting down at the edge of the pool. “About me not being fit to command anymore.”

Central shakes his head, arms resting on the concrete next to her. “I’m sorry. Did I really just hear you say the Council might have a point?”

“Yeah, she says, setting her boots next to her and dipping her feet into the water. “Or, in any case, that’s my worry.”

Once again, the urge to jump in flits across her mind. She chalks it up to stress.

They are four days out from the completion of the isolation labs and the energy spikes are coming more and more rapidly. Something is coming, something is coming, drones her inner monologue. Something is coming and you have to do something and this is your fault. Don’t forget that. Something is coming and it’s your fault and you need a plan.

“You really wanna have this conversation here?”

“I don’t wanna have it somewhere with an audience.”

“The fact that we’re having it at all is unbelievable.”

“I can’t shut my head off,” she shrugs. “I already made one bad call because I was distracted, and we really can’t afford another.”

“No, you made the right call given the situation at hand. There was a bigger problem. Besides, the civilians who were freed from that stuff seemed fine — and you haven’t found anything contradicting that. You couldn’t have pushed the pods; it wouldn’t have made sense. You would have wasted time we needed — we wouldn’t have survived the hit to the base without the improved gear. Don’t forget that.”

“The spikes are getting more frequent.”

“And if we were still running on conventional weapons, we wouldn’t be here to track that.”

“What if I make another bad call?”

He furrows his brow. “Have you not been listening to me?”

“No, I mean it. I can’t … I can’t shut my head off. Ever. It’s one long panicked stream of consciousness. No one’s fit to command like that.”

“You really think if I had concerns I wouldn’t have said something?”

She pauses, considering the question.

“If I thought you couldn’t appropriately command this operation, you and I would have had a talk. And if that hadn’t been enough, I would have gotten Shen and Vahlen’s backing and had medical declare you unfit for duty.”

“That’s … oddly comforting, actually.”

“You have responsibilities and so do I.”

She sighs. “You’re sure?”

He cocks his head at her. “This really has you rattled, doesn’t it?”

“I dunno. It’s not just this, to be fair. I think, even if this, whatever it is, weren’t on the horizon, I’m still not sure I’d be able to shut my head up. I’m always expecting something. Like … you’re gonna laugh. I don’t know that I believe in ‘normal’ now, knowing what’s out there, what could be coming for us. I guess that’s worrisome in and of itself.”

“You looked into the abyss and the abyss fired back. You think you’re the only one who’s been changed by what we saw? What we did? Because I’ve got news for you.”

She manages a short chuckle. “Touche. But they’re not the ones making judgment calls.”

“I’d like to think I make some, Commander.”

She considers him for a moment. “It’s eating you too, huh?”

He nods. “Believe it or not, I didn’t always sleep with a gun under my pillows.”

“Isn’t that uncomfortable?”

“Beats not sleeping at all. Besides, I’m not about to start popping pills. I don’t want to consider the ramifications of doing that.”

She nods, remembering a snowy funeral a month prior to activation. They’d cremated his father out of convenience, though she knows he hasn’t had time to spread the ashes. They sit in a small, metal urn at the bottom of his footlocker, patiently waiting a more permanent final resting place.

“It’s no surprise,” he’d said at the time. “Give Dad a drink, and. Well. This was the only way it was gonna end.”

Instinctively, she covers one of his hands with her own.

“It’s not even on my radar, Lizzie,” he offers. “I’ll stick to chamomile and melatonin. I’m not going anywhere.” He takes a breath. “But you can’t either.”

She nods. “But if you get the slightest inkling—“

“If I’m worried you’re unfit, you’ll know. That’s a promise.”

Again, a nod. “Good.”

–

She hesitates to say it is going well, but Resistance forces on the ground have done what they can to corral civilians and are putting up a good fight against ADVENT. There are still too many bodies on the ground, in the ramshackle buildings, and in forgotten corners for her to truly feel good. If they keep up, though, the haven will have a halfway decent shot at survival, and that will have to be enough.

A Stun Lancer emerges from behind a dumpster, striking the nearest civilian in the chest with his electrified mace. The man falls dead with a scream, their third casualty since landing.

“Commander —“

“I see, Central. Krieger, do what you can to take him down. He’s one of our last hostile signatures.” The specialist shoots and misses spectacularly, her bullet lodging in a nearby tree.

The Lancer takes the opportunity to dive into cover, flattening himself behind a rock and within strike range of another civilian.

“Kelly, can you do something about that?”

“On my way, ma’am.”

The ranger weaves through the wreckage, then takes a flying leap, bringing her sword down hard on the assailant’s head. There is a sickening crack and the attacker falls to the ground.

“Good work; we’ve still got a —“

She’s cut off by a noise out of her nightmares, something wet and gelatinous and almost certainly in motion.  Her eyes bounce from camera feed to camera feed, looking for the source, but there’s nothing –nothing– that should be making that sound.

Until jet black claws slash through Zaytsev and Gunda, leaving one unconscious and the other with a red halo blossoming around him.

“Take that thing down!” Central shouts.

“Krieger! Kelly! Keep clear of those claws, but do what you can to end whatever the hell that is.”

The local fighters take aim and fire, unloading clips into the creature. Krieger nabs it in the eye, and Kelly delivers the final blow, a shotgun blast to the side. It melts, rather than collapses, a pile of liquefied peach-colored goo.

“All hostiles down,” she says, checking the scanner. “Go triage the other two. We’ll get a team down there to assess the damage.”

“Roger,” Kelly answers. “Wilco.”

The Commander lets out a long sigh. “Jesus Christ.”

“We’ve had rumors of shapeshifters,” her XO offers. “Not surprised to find out they’re substantiated.”

“Yeah, but the question becomes are they sleeper agents or do they drop as infiltration?”

He shakes his head. “Not sure. We might have to settle for keeping an eye on it.”

“Commander? Central?” Kelly’s voice wobbles. “I think we’re looking at a head injury. Zaytsev’s stabilized but Gunda’s still not … she isn’t coming to.”

“She’s got a pulse,” Krieger cuts in. “So, she’s definitely alive.”

“But she’s not waking up,” Kelly counters. “I think we’ve got a problem.”

“Tygan,” Central says, pressing a finger to his comm. “They’re gonna need you on the ground. Now. Possible head injury. “

“Civilian?”

“One of ours.”

“I’m on my way.”

She rakes a hand through her ponytail and draws a breath. She suspects they’re woefully unprepared for a brain injury, assuming Kelly instincts are correct. Tygan is brilliant, no doubt, but molecular biology and biochemistry are not neurology. They are not rehabilitation. The Avenger does not have the facilities; an infirmary is certainly on the list of things to build, but they can only work so fast, and they needed comms. They needed the proving grounds. They need another power converter.

And now, she thinks, dejectedly, we need an infirmary.

She rubs at her eyes for a moment, then turns her attention back to the task at hand. “Attention, all hands,” she says into the comm. “We’re putting down on the outskirts to help with clean up and rebuild. Our job is to get these people back on their feet, and to do it quickly. Shen and Central will coordinate efforts on the ground; they’ll have more specific assignments for you soon. In the meantime, remember these people have just had a really bad day; we’ve all lost people, and today, it was their turn. Be gentle.”

And say your prayers that we don’t lose one of our own, she adds silently.

If the first rule of war is that anything that can fuck you over, will, its corollary is this: anything that can save you, won’t.

#xcom #fic #every exit an entrance #commander/central

[zutaraverse]

Soulmates. Zutara Week 2017

@zutaraweek

—-> Also on AO3 and Ff so check it out there and all the other things I write :)

—-> Book 3 on Ember Island. Toph works out that Zuko and Katara are soulmates and pushes Katara to figure it out. It should be a happy occasion but tensions run deep between them.

“You and Zuko feel super powerful when you spar…” said Toph offhandedly.

“We’re powerful benders, Toph,” replied Katara as she finished up in the kitchen.

“Just saying…”

Toph walked out whistling.

Katara tried to keep the thought from her mind. It was extremely uncommon for people to find their soulmates nowadays. Gran-gran used to tell them about a time when it was common to find your soulmate - when there was trade bringing people together and infants made it to adulthood and people didn’t die for their country. In war these things were difficult. Most people’s soulmates had died or been killed or never set their eyes on each other.

When a bender finds their soulmate, they say, and they bend together, they both become more powerful.

But that couldn’t possibly be…

She remembered how she had managed to bend more accurately when he first threatened them - she, an untrained, clueless little girl. How somehow she held her own against him…

How in the North Pole her bending was more violent, more determined than it had ever been before - how his made a mockery of her…

How ferocious her water bending was against him and Azula under Ba Sing Se…

But… but of the countless times they fought when he was chasing them, she was under pressure, body throbbing with adrenaline. Surely that would have heightened her skill and her power?

Then how to explain that they were clearly stronger when they sparred even here on Ember Island. They were meant to be on the same side now. She wasn’t fighting for her life or anybody else’s.

Katara chewed her lip pensively all through dinner, absently making the right noises at the right times during the conversation. Involuntarily her eyes kept flicking to Zuko and away.

Please anybody but him, said a voice in her head.

-But what if it is him? Came a smaller voice.

No.

-He has a great body

Shut up about his beautiful chiselled body that I definitely do NOT stare at when its glistening with sweat…

-And is taking Aang’s training really seriously

We all do that. He takes everything seriously anyway

-Not really. Aang would never have mastered fire without him

We don’t know that

-We do. And he helps with the dishes

Because he’s a decent person

-Exactly.

Argh!

-Not to mention the fact he freed dad and Suki

So did Sokka

-It wasn’t Zuko’s dad

No, he’s just plotting to kill his own dad

-For the sake of the world

Same blood

-More impressive he’s on our side then

Still fire nation

-I made friends in the Fire Nation

They didn’t like me when they knew I was a water bender

-But he respects my power

If by respect you mean wanted to destroy it

-He would never have killed me

Yeah. He is honourable

-And determined

Very determined

-At night its his determination to see Aang succeed that calms my worries

Maybe

-And he tries to be kind to me

He is very awkward about it

-Most people would have given up

Hey!

-And he took me to avenge my mother

Yeah…

-So maybe its not so bad if he is my soulmate after all?

Maybe not.

She got up to clear the dishes, and as usual Zuko helped her carry them to the kitchen. He washed beside her in silence, sensing something of an internal struggle raging.

An idea started forming though.

“Zuko? Do you think you and I would win if we fought Aang and Toph?” she asked tentatively.

“I think the Avatar might have something on us,” he replied, a little confused and not a little chuffed she had hypothetically put herself on his team.

“What if he was only air bending?”

“Maybe. It would be close. He’s still stronger because he is the Avatar.”

She nodded.

“We should try tomorrow.”

Toph knew immediately what was going on at Katara’s suggestion.

“Don’t worry Sugar Queen, I won’t be rigging the results. The only reason you would be able to beat us is if… you know,” laughed Toph. Katara scowled at the back of the Earthbender’s head as she turned to take her position.

“Remember Aang, only air bending,” reminded Katara.

“Sure thing! This will be fun!” came Aang’s chirpy reply.

The match started much as expected - all elements creating a powerful blast between them. But then came more control. Aang took to the air, defending fire from above, while Toph was countering Katara’s bending. They were all pretty evenly matched - master on master.

Katara almost allowed herself to relax and squash the little part of her mind that was disappointed. But then that part spoke up.

We’re not bending together, it said. To really see if they were more powerful they needed to bend together as a team. Right now it was Zuko vs Aang next to Katara vs Toph.

Katara stole herself and aimed an attack at Aang just as Zuko did. Steam hissed in the air, clouding Aang’s visibility. Toph took the opening to launch a barrage of rocks at them but Zuko stepped in front of Katara and incinerated them just as Katara summoned water to her to blast Toph off of her feet. Aang was back on the offensive though, blowing Katara’s water back at her. Zuko shifted his position and cut up Aang’s stream of air with a long fire breath so that Katara could knock Aang off of his air scooter too.

The battle continued, but the longer they fought, the more her and Zuko were becoming a team, in sync with one another - and the stronger they got.

Finally an incredibly powerful jet of fire forced their opponents back as an ice wall blocked them in, essentially freezing them in place, catching Toph as her feet were lifted from the ground she she couldn’t connect with it.

“Argh! I’m freezing!” she cried.

“Do you surrender?” called Zuko in jest, laughing despite his breathlessness. Zuko making any sort of pleased or happy noise was still very new to the group - he could see them looking at him sideways whenever he chuckled or laughed or contributed anything amusing. But he couldn’t help it here - the fight had been exhilarating! Katara made as good a partner as she did an opponent.

“Yes! I’m so done with this!” grumbled Toph.

“Yeah, you guys were super cool,” gushed Aang from his icy prison. “But I need a rest now!”

Katara nodded and released them, a frown creasing her brow. Toph was smirking at her as she ran off after Aang.

“You don’t look happy Katara?” tried Zuko. He was being a little forward maybe but she would usually be gloating about something like this. “I thought it was a really good match.”

“It was… its just…oh its nothing…” she said, moving away.

Zuko sighed.

“Look Katara if I’ve done something wrong again then please just tell me!” he said, jogging to keep up and not a little exasperated. He thought they had gotten through this difficult part of their friendship!

“Just leave it Zuko!” she snapped back, continuing her march towards the house.

Zuko caught her shoulder and turned her around to face him.

“No! I don’t know what I’ve done this time and I thought we had finally started working well together! I’m trying really hard to do right by all of you and you’re the only one who can’t accept it. I’m tired of failing all of the time so just tell me what is wrong and I can fix it! I can’t go back to this whole cold shoulder thing that —“

“We’re soulmates!” cried Katara, throwing her fists down and interrupting him. “Alright? That’s what’s been bothering me!” She looked angry and a little frightened, but held her head up and met him eye to eye.

“We’re what? How do you know?” replied Zuko, taken completely by surprise and involuntarily taking a step backwards.

“That fight. We should have been evenly matched - two masters against two masters… but we were far stronger. I’m not even tired. Are you? And every time we’ve fought each other we’ve both been much more powerful than we usually are…” she was looking away now, staring into the sea.

Zuko was silent for a moment, replaying every fight they’d had and every sparring match they had done recently. It was true that when he came up against Katara he enjoyed it far more than any of the others. There was something exhilarating about matching her that he just didn’t have fighting the others. Instances of their fight in the North Pole would replay themselves to him as he travelled the Earth Kingdom, marvelling at how he was still alive, how he’d actually won that confrontation.

“Well?”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry? I know I’m not… the ideal soulmate to have…” he tried, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“Not ideal?” she repeated, her voice turning to a squeak. “You could say that. You’re the Fire Bender who chased us around the world, and worse, your grandfather personally ordered me to be murdered. You realise that? He’s the reason my mother is dead and my tribe is in pieces?” She was getting worked up and tears pricked behind her eyes.

“I’m related to the man who made my mother disappear too! But I’m also related to the woman who killed my grandfather!” he shouted back. Then sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want to be me. I’ve not wanted to be me for… a long time. I’d be happier as Lee, working at the tea shop in the Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se, dating a cute girl called Jin. But I’m not. I’m the Fire Prince, carrying both Sozin and Roku’s blood… and you’re not dead. So here we are, with some weird connection.”

Katara thought of the other interactions they’d had. How badly she wanted to help him when his uncle was hurt. How she had instinctively offered to heal his scar. How hurt she was that it hadn’t been enough to make him stay… every time she seemed drawn to him, like a string tugging at her heart. Her face pinked. It was a strange connection indeed.

“I was being unfair Zuko, I’m sorry,” she said quietly, bowing her head in shame. “I know you’re not your father or your grandfather. That’s why you’re here and that’s why we… we all… believe in you.”

Zuko angrily wiped a tear from his good eye.

“We don’t… we don’t need to end up together you know, if you don’t want to,” he said, equally quietly. “We can just forget we are soulmates and you can still marry Aang…”

“Who says I want to marry Aang? I do not want to end up with Aang,” she said forcefully, frowning.

“That’s not what he thinks,” responded Zuko, confused at her assertion.

“Well I think what I have to say about the matter is pretty important here, don’t you?” She had her hands on her hips and was looking thunderous.

“Y-yeah, of course. Its just… he acts like you’re his and you do nothing to dissuade him…so I think everybody thinks… and even in the play they thought…I mean I’m happy that you don’t want to be with him…not because he’s not great… and not because of this soulmate thing…but I don’t think he understands you all the time…”

“Oh and do you?” she was half teasing by this point, trying to break him out of his awkward babble he had somehow slipped into.

“I… uh… no I don’t either.” He stopped, frowning.

“I’m joking Zuko. Its fine. Aang is a little brother to me,” she said. And you’re not, she didn’t say. And you do actually understand me, she also didn’t say.

“I guess,” he continued, more subdued and serious, “we work well together, are stronger together. So we should stick close to one another during the battle. We can use this connection to our advantage. I might be dead by the end of it and you won’t need to worry about being my soulmate anymore.” He was looking away, a distant sadness in his eyes.

“Don’t talk like that Zuko! If we stick together neither of us will die… did you see how strong we just were?” she was stroking his upper arm, trying to get the thought of death away from him. A lump rose in her throat. She didn’t want him to feel like he was a burden to everybody around him. She did not want him to think she wanted him dead - that simply wasn’t true anymore. These weren’t just her motherly instincts. This was more. “I don’t… I don’t want you to die, alright? And… and I guess we can sort out what we do about being soulmates when we all make it through…”

Katara realised how close she had become to him, drawn in by worry but lingering anyway. She pulled back as his golden eyes searched her blue for something. “We… we should get back to the house,” she said, uncertainly.

Something was pulling her back towards him. He was still staring.

“What?” she asked, softly, almost wanting to have an excuse to be near him.

“I guess… I guess this time I got lucky,” he murmured, brushing some hair from her face. He gave her a half smile and walked past her, leaving her behind on the beach with her cheeks burning.

#zutara week 2017 #zutara week #fanfiction #dribsanddrabs #zutaraverse #zk week #zk week 2017 #worldcrawler #soulmates

[derkastellan]

Musings: Fanboys...

I hope I don’t come over as a negative nelly in general, I have to admit coming from a culture that likes to criticize. A minor sample maybe, but in the heady days Google+ (which was quite a boon for roleplayers in general) I was part of a discussion where a bunch of grumpy Germans complained that our American friends tended to hype even rather mediocre products over the moon - and would avidly defend their makers from criticism.

I even forgot the name of the product - a copy-cat imitation of the Forgotten Realms (themselves not the most original product at times) for Savage Worlds. Ah yes, Shaintar. Found it. I remember one reviewer quipping that the map only contained equidistant cities. A bit of a cardinal sin for making a varied map.

I come to this from two recent experiences - trying out Monte Cook’s Numenera and then reinstalling Torment: Tides of Numenera to play it after it sat there for two years or more, unfinished.

I like Numenera for its setting, but I think the game system is seriously overhyped among its fans. It tries to codify how the GM interacts with the story into meta-gaming with the players, and it does so poorly, and it at times tries to solve the wrong problems. Basically, “GM intrusions” are meant to make the game “more interesting” but the first thing they came up with in the original edition was to say “well, your sword breaks in the middle of combat.” And they have been struggling with finding a better way to express it since. Taking the Narrative by the Tail is another product failing to do so.

Now, over time “GM intrusions” (and now: “Player Intrusions”) have evolved by people using them. If you like the idea of giving the players a bit of a story choice the system is workable but frankly to me it just messes with the natural flow of GMing a game and pacing it well. Also, by now reddit provides many decent examples of GM intrusions and help for many other of Numenera’s issues. Of which there are plenty. The game tries to be not as crunchy (and definitely not as combat-oriented) but it only gets there halfway. It is neither a good/pure story game nor does it truly leave its d20 roots behind. It leaves many areas poorly defined - like what is an action, what is a saving throw/free roll? It’s wishy-washy language and omissions make several focus descriptors and powers in the game something the GM has to research online or figure out for themselves, when really these should have been properly game-designed given they made it into the core book of a game. (And 2nd edition, at that! Does all of this truly get play-tested?)

You wouldn’t know this from reading through the internet. Some people are over the moon about this game as if it set them free from some imaginary shackles. You would at times this is a gift from the gods to players and GMs alike. I guess if you only ever played D&D and clones before this might be true (somewhat), but there are so many other RPGs out there just as good or better. Don’t get me wrong: Numenera is a solid, enjoyable experience. But it’s also at times clunky and not exceptional as a game engine.

Its setting is exceptional , though. It sometimes relies a bit on fridge logic, but is interesting, fascinating, full of potential, and encourages many play styles from regular dungeon fantasy to horror and even to building your own settlement. The game is well-supported and there are some gems for it. (And what fridge logic you ask? You have had at least one galaxy-dominating previous culture on Earth but it just left the Numenera of these other civilizations untouched, even though it must have surpassed all these other civilizations? This does not compute... There are several of these in this game.)

And therein, I think, lies the rub. You see, when people tend to fall in love with something - the feeling of being freed from some rules-lawyering shackles maybe, or a great setting, they tend to view the whole thing through rose-tinted glasses. Even things worthy of critique.

There is another game where I experienced this, a game in comparison to which Numenera shines but has some similarities with. Shadow of the Demon Lord. It is another attempt at a lighter version of a D&D-like game that sells itself through its setting. What lured me in was them claiming they had a rich and varied set of classes customizable into 64 variations that was somehow similar to Warhammer Fantasy RPG (which I had not played at that point, but 4th edition I’ve discussed since...).

Numenera and SotDL have indeed something very much in common. They both allow you to select from a big set of character building options to build very narrowly defined, one-trick pony characters. Have a few powers from the same theme but not many, definitely too few to build a varied toolbox to solve problems with.

For Numenera I realized this when playing Torment: Tides of Numenera. You quickly realize how few powers and variations you have thereof in a computer game.Both the CRPG and the tabletop try to explain that limitation away by de-emphasizing combat, or claiming to do so. Fact is, tabletop Numenera has slews of interesting, captivating, and visually brilliantly depicted enemies that feature everywhere in the game, so combat, while not directly rewarded, is as much a feature of the game as in D&D almost. You don’t publish 350+ pages (Ninth World Bestiary 1 & 2, beautiful products!) worth of monster manual without intending the GM to use it... but as varied as these might be, your character is not. 

The one-use cyphers and artifacts then serve to give you the missing problem-solving capabilities and to vary your approach, but think about it for a moment. If the GM hands out a cypher befitting your problem, how is that different from playing a point-and-click adventure on tabletop? Figure out where and how to apply the solution. A puzzle. Often in D&D your wizard, cleric, druid, etc powers can become tools expanding the ways in which you solve things your own way. Given the limits of your class builds items become their replacement in Numenera. And frankly, I’m quite okay with that! (Though it becomes very unconvincing in the generic Cypher System spun off from Numenera and The Strange.) By which I mean, at least you have something here to build a toolbox, albeit a temporary one, from. (And after all, didn’t most of the powers a character could really rely on in old-school D&D come from their gear?)

Shadows and Demons and... oh Lord, why?

In comparison, SotDL character feel ... just limited. I quickly discovered how poorly balanced the game was when running it for a few levels with my players. When you don’t optimize the build for the fighter type, you can’t get into the heavy gear early and the rogue became, by no special virtue of the player, the main damage dealer. The wizard and cleric types had very limited spell selections, and the wizard was the better healer by virtue of being able to get into additional spell schools. The wording of many powers was confusing and I had regular rules questions for the web community without satisfying answers.

The choices you make during character evolution hem you in, forcing you to live with your limiting choices, they do not expand your character, at least it doesn’t feel this way. There may be 64 variations, but they are all very limited in scope, making characters of very limited capability. The poor balancing between basic classes and the unsatisfying rules made me switch the group to 5th edition D&D, and we never regretted that in comparison. 

But again other people reacted in general very differently to the game, and maybe that was due to liking the setting. You see, I didn’t like the setting and did have a very different game in mind. (And now they are releasing a version basically doing the same. A bit late for me, but maybe they want to expand away from their original buyer base.) 

But people may have very well liked the dark fantasy, horror, grim vibe. And if you’re into that, maybe it delivers for you. I can’t tell. I honestly can’t. I do know however that the game was well-supported with a slew of expansion books and adventures, giving people plenty to chew on. And I think that combination of setting and support plus some hype gave many people reason to like the game. (And it is a lighter engine, no doubt, if you prefer that kind of thing. I usually do!)

Wherein I actually try to make the original point

And that’s what I’m getting at. It’s hard to put out your own view of these games without running into people who behave like fanboys. And I am actually happy I only was disagreed with emphatically, but not in a hateful way. It just annoys me that people want to ignore a game’s failings because it also has strengths. Do a few things right enough and you will attract people who will see no wrong.

Now, Steam’s binary rating system (recommend/do not recommend) doesn’t help with videogames for example, but when seeing that Torment: Tides of Numenera has by now a “Mostly Positive” rating one has to wonder. The game is mediocre at best, really buggy, and short. But I have to admit because of its setting and aspirations of living up to a much better game, people to tend to give it a lot of credit where little is due. Admittedly my opinion, but you can find many well-reasoned, well-written scathing reviews of the game.

Yet people have by now elevated it into “Most Positive” where “Mixed Ratings” would serve it just right. Neither good nor all bad. But somehow how people would like to feel about it, or people wanting to push the genre, or people getting it for less money erased over time all the controversy of unfulfilled promises, bugs, or its other failings. (I reviewed it here if you are interested. I will say no more.)

Criticize what is improvable, love what’s great. I might even give the new SotDL spin-off a try. I am sometimes very critical of games but I always hope for a lot. And I wish these games were fixed and improved upon, not left in the state they are. I wish there would be a better edition of Dungeon Crawl Classics because the game could benefit from a coherent feel and vision, right now it’s a mess, but a lovable one. I wish there were improved versions of both the games I discussed here at length because I like well-supported games, and these issues are fixable. (And sadly, you can criticize computer games all you want, but few are fixed. I’m happy that some publishers listen and Pillars of Eternity, Divinity: Original Sin, and a few others got better sequels.)

Frankly, I might like playing Numenera with 5th edition rules better, and they offer that. While this is another hype money train everybody wants to get on, if done right, it can work. 5e is a solid, robust system, and while delivering mostly one kind of experience, it does so very well.

What I’m saying is that all games are improvable. New editions can be made, compatible even with older ones. D&D had 3rd edition superseded with 3.5 for good reasons. Numenera: Discovery balanced the basic classes better in terms of powers, it was quite apparent that they tried to avoid players making un-hittable jacks or glaives spamming the same moves all the time. Games evolve and they should. By making Numenera: Discovery pregens for a Numenera 1st edition adventure I realized how subtle the changes were and started to appreciate them.

Just dare to call a horse a horse. While I prefer peaceful fanboys over the trolling kind, there’s no reason to spare improvable games criticism. And all games are improvable!

(And to be fair, Numenera does a lot of things right. It’s mechanic to reduce a roll’s difficulty to 0 and thereby avoiding it is a very worthy addition to the role-playing catalog. It rewards skillful stacking of advantages and makes players feel they have reliable competence at their hands like no d100, d20, or 3d6 system can imitate.)

#role-playing #rpg #tabletop #pen & paper #musings #numenera #shadow of the demon lord

[lalka-laski]

How far away is the person you miss? I miss quite a lot of people recently thanks to this whole quarantine thing... Life is weird right now. Do you find the opposite sex confusing? Not to generalize but I find them pretty one dimensional. However I do find their overall stupidity and lack of sense confusing as all hell.  Has a heavy shampoo bottle ever fell on your foot while you were taking a shower? THE WORST. And why is it the LOUDEST sound known to man?!  If you were to die today would your life be complete? It would not. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? My mom and my grandmother, for starters!  What is on your wrist right now? Not a thing What does your hair look like right now? It’s clipped up in a messy bun/wannabe beehive type of style.  Your phone rings, what do you say? Hello?  Can you speak another language? I’m decent at Polish and I might be able to recall some of the French I learned from 6 years at school. Both languages need a dusting up, maybe that’ll be one of my quarantine activities  How are you feeling? Uncertain about everything right now Will your next kiss be a mistake? Absolutely not  Will you be in a relationship next month? Seeing as he just officially moved into my apartment yesterday, yeah I hope so. Ha! Are you wearing any clothing that doesn't belong to you? Well the sweatshirt I’m wearing came from Plato’s Closet so it technically belonged to someone else first  You're thinking about someone, aren't you? Well NOW I am Do you have a reason to smile right now? I struggle to recognize the positives of this situation. Things are just shitty right now, and it’s ok to say so.  Has anyone said they loved you today? Yes, multiple times What are you thinking about right now? I just cracked a window and the fresh, crisp air feels so refreshing so I’m just taking a minute to savor it.  Are you tired? I just fell asleep not even seconds after finishing my dinner lol. But I forced myself to get up. I’m trying to maintain somewhat of a sleep schedule despite all that’s going on  Have you ever woke up next to someone and freaked out? Yes, but not necessarily for the reason you may think.  Anything you'd like to say to anyone? Grrrr......  Have you ever told your mom/dad you were in love? They know I am now. I previously kept all my romantic relationships private though, until this one. Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms? Yes. It’s a sweet feeling but I’m also an overheated and restless sleeper SO it’s not the most ideal for me ha! Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you? Glenn. And I plan on it! What is the last thing you got in trouble for with your parents? I’m 27  Do you act differently around the person you like? I actually realized the other day that I’m my most candid and genuine self around Glenn. I’ve always heard people say “I can completely be myself around (my SO)” and never understood it. I was under the impression that I was my true self around anyone. But I now realize there were details about myself, however minuscule, that I dimmed in the presence of others.  How is the weather right now? It’s chilly and gray, which is actually my ideal. And everything smells so FRESH!  Is it easy to make you cry? You don’t even know...  Why do you think so many people cheat on their bf/gf? I couldn’t tell ya Are you afraid of getting cheated on? In my relationship now, absolutely not.  Do you know anyone that drinks? Nope, not a single person. *Sips Riesling*  If you could go back in time and change things, would you? At this point, no.  What's your opinion on pot? It should 100% be legalized and any and all persons incarcerated for related crimes should be freed. And compensated for their time.

Where is your ex right now? My most recent ex is probably at his mother’s house where he will be for the rest of his life.  Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color? Pretty much. I’m a natural blonde, I just dye it a slightly ashier/cooler tone. I’m going for that snow princess look! Will this weekend be a good one? There really is no telling what any day will be like these next few weeks... I’m trying to keep hope alive but the anxiety overpowers.  What would your name be with the first three letters? Eli  Are you someone who worries too often? DO YOU KNOW ME Would you ever donate blood? I do frequently. I find it’s one of the simplest acts of charity. And you usually get a free tee shirt or at least a juicebox out of it. How could you pass that up? Do you care if people hate you for no reason? I would be devastated by that Do you prefer sweet or sour candy? SOUR! Give me all the sour gummies!!

Have you ever hugged someone named Joe? Mhm  Have you ever been kissed in a bedroom? Where do you think majority of kisses in the history of mankind have happened...?  Is there someone you will never forget? Many, many people Do you like somebody right now? A little :P Do you think somebody likes the same person you do? He’s a well-liked guy! Are you a morning person or a night person? I don’t really know. I’m inclined to say I’m a morning person but my current job has me up at 5:30 every morning and that shit is for the birds. LITERALLY. Ha! I didn’t even do that on purpose but now I’m cracking myself up...  Tears are falling from your eyes, what's the reason? It could be anything, literally anything. I’m a major crier.  Who sits in front of you in math class? I’m not in school  Do you like to cuddle? Love it. Well, when I’m in the mood.  When's the last time you laughed really hard? Yesterday or today, though I can’t remember at what Last reason for going on youtube? I looked up tips for a recipe I was following Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? Like I said above, I just fell asleep immediately after finishing my dinner. We were eating at the coffee table and I started nodding off.  Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? That’s ALL I own. Skinny jeans or jeggings. How many times have you dyed your hair? I’ve lost track now Last song you listened to? Whatever song is in the background of the video game Glenn’s playing  Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Maybe not everyone, but in most cases I’d be inclined to offer a second chance  What are you looking forward to tomorrow? I hope to check another category off my cleaning list. Yes, I have a categorized cleaning list. AND it’s color-coded  Do you think you can last for an hour without talking? Probably Do you love your friends? Of course! They keep me sane Do you think people dwell on the past too much? @ me next time  What college did/do you want to go to? I graduated from SUNY Brockport  Have you ever slept on the floor with someone you liked? Mhm  Do you still talk to the person you fell the hardest for? I’m with him currently  Are you friends with any of your ex boyfriend/girlfriends? We’re friendly and we keep in touch, but I wouldn’t consider myself “friends” with any of them Were you anyone's first love? Yes If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose? Spring maybe When's the next time you'll be kissed? Probably in a few minutes Do you like the sound of a piano? I do. I’d LOVE to learn how to play, but I’m not sure I have the dexterity  Do you own any pets? Not currently  When's the last time you were at the grocery store? Yesterday  Do you have any siblings? 2 sisters Are you a sensitive person? To the extreme Would you ever want to go to Minnesota? For what reason...? How many times a day do you shower? I shower every 1-2 days. Are your parents still together? Yep  Do you know anyone who has been adopted? Mhm  Do you enjoy just sitting outside for no reason? Love it! Preferably with a drink in my hand Would you rather live in a big or little town? Hmm...  Describe your ex in two words: No thanks When was the last time you had coffee? Few days ago  What was the last thing you bought? Groceries  What's the closest thing to you that's yellow? There’s a little snowman figurine on the table to my left and it’d holding an assortment of balloons, one of which is yellow.  Last time you had someone cook for you? I stayed at my sister’s the other night and she made me pancakes in the morning!  Last thing you drank? Sipping a (cheap ass) Riesling as I sit here  Would you like to learn to play the drums? It wouldn’t be my first choice for an instrument  Are you ticklish? EXTREMELY. To the point I refuse to be tickled. I don’t find it fun, I find it maddening! Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut? Years ago!  What are you doing later tonight? This is pretty much the extent of my night. Drinking wine, scrolling social media, maybe reading a bit  How late did you stay up last night? 11-12ish. I don’t fully remember falling asleep  Have you dated someone longer than a year? Mhm 

[fayeburnsus]

Revealed: The best law firms for work/life balance – 2019 edition

The outfits bucking the ‘all work no play’ trend

There’s a lot of noise around achieving a healthy work/life balance and no end of advice for employers and staff alike: HR policies, ‘wellbeing’ weeks, awareness days, inspirational talks, and so on. Given all the helpful material out there, one wonders why we are not all in some work/life nirvana.

The fact is that awareness is one thing, changing the culture and mindset is quite another. But as our most recent Legal Cheek survey of over 2,000 trainees and junior associates at the leading law firms in London and the UK, shows, there are firms out there who are trying hard. Sometimes this might come at the expense of a fat pay packet but not always.

A good work/life balance is not only about avoiding long hours (though of course, 60% of the firms that have done well in our survey for work/life balance are also in the top ten for the best average arrive and leave times): it’s also about having an open mind, exploring flexible working, avoiding ‘presenteeism’ and not emailing staff until the late hours and expecting a response. Out of a possible top score of ten; one equates to: “I’ve sub-let my flat as I haven’t been there for months,” and ten is: “I’ve never had to cancel a dinner reservation”.

We can finally reveal the ten best law firms for work/life balance as scored in our survey. In alphabetical order, they are…

Ashfords

This South West stalwart with over 500 staff in six sites (including London), scored a shiny A* for work/life balance. On the brink of a merger with Reading firm, Boyes Turner, Ashfords has ambition but not at the cost of your life. One insider enthused: “I love the work/life balance at Ashfords. The latest I have ever stayed is 7pm. If there is no urgent work to do, the partners encourage you to leave on time.” And it sounds like that supportive stance isn’t just empty words. Junior lawyers describe a “better than average” balance towards “life”.

Striking that balance does depend on the department, our spies tell us: “In property, it was pretty good with average working hours. In corporate/commercial your personal life can take a serious hit at times.” Everything is relative, of course, comments one rookie: “For law (!) I think the firm offers a pretty decent balance. Stay till 7pm when you are busy, leave at 6 when you are not. Occasionally there are longer days but these are few and far between and usually involve travelling.”

Read Ashfords’ Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

BLM

Apparently, trainees at BLM can expect to leave the office at an astonishing 5.45pm. That is almost like an average school day of yore or reminiscent of being a student after a day with a few lectures. Only in Denmark, the mecca for work/life balance advocates where offices are notorious for being completely empty by 5.30pm, would you see such times (giving you plenty of opportunity to watch all those Nordic-noir thrillers on Netflix, one presumes).

No wonder then that this insurance and dispute resolution firm, created when Berryman Lace Mawer merged with Scottish outfit HBM Sayers way back in 2014, has made the A* grade in work/life balance. With major centres in London and Manchester, and outposts in Ireland and Scotland, BLM’s core practice of insurance may not be as eye-catching as other practice areas but with eons of hours freed up in the evening, who needs glamour?

Read BLM’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Blake Morgan

Blake Morgan, a firm spanning South England from London and Southampton across to Oxford and onto Cardiff, not only scored A* for work/life balance but also hit jackpot by making it into the top ten best arrive-and-leave times.

One of the interesting points about striking the perfect equilibrium between your life and your work is that no one minds work interfering on occasion. They also don’t mind as long as periods of really hard graft are recognised by the partners. As one rookie puts it: “Although there are times when working late is inevitable, this is acknowledged and is not the norm.” Neatly summarised by another with the observation: “It varies but I am not moaning!”

The firm has a mish-mash of areas of expertise and client base and that includes a professional regulatory team representing the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) and the Bar Standards Board (BSB). So that must keep its lawyers on their toes…

There does appear to be some imbalance between departments which has fuelled some resentment, as one insider grumbles: “Different teams work different hours. Construction has its pinch points (adjudications) where long hours are necessary.” And here’s the rub: “… a bit galling when you walk out into an empty car park at 10pm and realize that 95% of the firm has gone home, had its dinner and is probably in bed by now.” Another junior lawyer added, however, that this would only apply to “a couple of areas”.

Read Blake Morgan’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Browne Jacobson

Congratulations to Browne Jacobson, a full-service firm with good-quality work across a good range of practice areas (they do a lot of work defending the public sector: representing over 50 hospital trusts, as well as councils) for making it to our top ten.

This national firm based in the Midlands is a friendly, level-headed sort of place and at least one insider is ebullient: “For the quality of work, the size of firm and the pay, I would imagine you would be hard pressed to find a top 60 law firm with a better work/life balance”. The only qualification to this was that there was some variety between departments: “Commercial tends to be the longest [hours]”. But a deal’s a deal, after all. And dealmakers wait for no man (or woman).

Browne Jacobson’s Manchester office in Spinningfields was opened a couple of years ago with much ado and a goal of offering a more flexible working environment: “[it will] give our employees greater flexibility in the way they choose to work” said one senior member at the time.

Read Browne Jacobson’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

DWF

DWF scooped a place not only in Legal Cheek’s top ten firms for work/life balance but also came up trumps on its average arrive-and-leave times for 2019. So we can be pretty confident that a healthy attitude to work is something DWF can deliver on. As one insider put it, the firm’s work/life balance is: “Pretty bloody great to be honest — would not trade it right now.”

Though there might be some variety between seats, one trainee said that despite being in a banking seat they were: “almost always out by 6.30-7pm”.

DWF is an ambitious and growing firm, originally a Northern/regional player, latterly expanding into London and internationally. It looks as if this City-style firm with City-style ambitions paying decent salaries but only really demanding regional hours.

Read DWF’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Fieldfisher

This is Fieldfisher’s third year in the top ten law firms for work/life balance, which is impressive given our less-than-secure times. The firm has continued its growth with a series of European openings in Italy and Holland. Given its sumptuous London office on the north bank of the River Thames, it’s the perfect springboard for your evening out or jog along the Thames Path — and it appears Fieldfisher makes such activities feasible.

As with many things in life, it’s also relative. Fieldfisher, as a City player, easily in the top 30 firms in the country so its work/life balance is, according to our spies, “great compared to other City firms”. You do have to pack a lot in because you’ll be expected to clock up 1,500 billable hours. But the rewards could be dreamy: Fieldfisher’s top-grossing partner (under the lockstep system) last year earned a cool £3 million putting them almost on a par with magic circle partners: Allen & Overy’s top partner taking home £3.5 million.

Read Fieldfisher’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Forsters

A repeat top ten law firm for work/life balance, Forsters is an elegant practice based in Mayfair doing private client and real estate work. It’s done very well in the era of the high-net-worth individual and pays its staff well to boot. One insider described the work/life balance as “great” and added: “I am actively encouraged to pursue my extra-curricular weekday activities.” Yes, you read that correctly: weekday activities are thumbs-up.

Targets are 1,300 billable hours per year which is certainly better than some other firms who have similar average arrive-and-leave figures but are expecting more (perhaps up to 1,500-1,600 billable hours) from your time. This isn’t an anonymous City-style workhouse, it’s an intimate one-office outfit that may suit your busy life down to the ground.

Read Forsters’ Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Irwin Mitchell

Irwin Mitchell has consistently received accolades for delivering on work/life balance for its lawyers, making it into our top ten for the third year running (and always also doing exceptionally well on its arrive-and-leave times). “Everyone down tools at 5pm” at this national firm of 14 offices, says one insider. It has made some small-firm acquisitions, and moved its Manchester crew to a shiny new space.

No wonder then that one rookie describes the firm’s work/life balance as “exceptionally good”. There are references to a whole “one-hour lunch break” and “added coffee breaks to boot.” Another says: “A standard day in my current seat is 9am – 5pm; whilst this isn’t the norm, the work/life balance here is a real perk.” One junior lawyer is equally positive: “A trainee telling you that they stayed until 8pm would be met with gasps of shock.” Nor is this just about decent hours. It looks as if there is also a healthy aversion to ‘presenteeism’: “The firm encourages flexible and agile working so it is easy to work from home or another office when necessary.”

Read Irwin Mitchell’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Mills & Reeve

This East-Anglian-headquartered law firm has some great work in areas such as tech and life sciences, and posted excellent turnover and bonuses at the end of 2018 (there was £2 million of love to spread around the firm). Plus it’s doing well on work/life balance for the second year running, and posted an excellent leave time of, wait for it, 5.45pm! That’s, like, really early, particularly if you don’t have an annual hours target. But it is also true that the staff have an arrival time of 8.41am. So it looks as if Mills & Reeve staff are early birds who work hard — and then leave. Taking around twenty trainees a year in the regions, staff can buy extra holiday and, it appears, actually manage to take it as well.

The ability to achieve that perfect work/life balance may vary depending on the location of the office and the seat: real estate, corporate and banking seats being victim to 7pm exits, apparently, but others are “more relaxed”.

Read Mills & Reeve’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Royds Withy King

This well-established, Bath-based firm slam-dunked in Legal Cheek’s arrive-and-leave time scores by being the firm officially with the shortest working day. No wonder then that it also finds its place on the work/life balance leaderboard, and that one insider comments: “I rarely work later than 6, and have never been required to come in on a weekend.” It may come as a bit of a surprise, then, that one rookie observed that there were differences between the seats and that the balance is: “very dependent on department.”

Royds Withy King has been ranked in the Top 100 Best Mid-sized Companies to Work For in the past five years, so they are clearly doing something very right indeed. It has a broad commercial offering and a healthy private wealth practice plus some interesting areas of expertise such as bloodstock and racing. A recent alliance with a firm advising Michelin star restaurants and chefs sounds pretty juicy too.

Read Royds Withy King’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

The firm with the best work/life balance will be announced at the Legal Cheek Awards 2019 on 21 March at the Cheesegrater in London.

Peruse all of the firms’ new 2018-19 survey scorecards — including training, quality of work, perks and much more — via the Legal Cheek Firms Most List 2018-19.

The post Revealed: The best law firms for work/life balance – 2019 edition appeared first on Legal Cheek.

from Legal News And Updates https://www.legalcheek.com/2019/02/revealed-the-best-law-firms-for-work-life-balance-2019-edition/

[davidchanus]

Revealed: The best law firms for work/life balance – 2019 edition

The outfits bucking the ‘all work no play’ trend

There’s a lot of noise around achieving a healthy work/life balance and no end of advice for employers and staff alike: HR policies, ‘wellbeing’ weeks, awareness days, inspirational talks, and so on. Given all the helpful material out there, one wonders why we are not all in some work/life nirvana.

The fact is that awareness is one thing, changing the culture and mindset is quite another. But as our most recent Legal Cheek survey of over 2,000 trainees and junior associates at the leading law firms in London and the UK, shows, there are firms out there who are trying hard. Sometimes this might come at the expense of a fat pay packet but not always.

A good work/life balance is not only about avoiding long hours (though of course, 60% of the firms that have done well in our survey for work/life balance are also in the top ten for the best average arrive and leave times): it’s also about having an open mind, exploring flexible working, avoiding ‘presenteeism’ and not emailing staff until the late hours and expecting a response. Out of a possible top score of ten; one equates to: “I’ve sub-let my flat as I haven’t been there for months,” and ten is: “I’ve never had to cancel a dinner reservation”.

We can finally reveal the ten best law firms for work/life balance as scored in our survey. In alphabetical order, they are…

Ashfords

This South West stalwart with over 500 staff in six sites (including London), scored a shiny A* for work/life balance. On the brink of a merger with Reading firm, Boyes Turner, Ashfords has ambition but not at the cost of your life. One insider enthused: “I love the work/life balance at Ashfords. The latest I have ever stayed is 7pm. If there is no urgent work to do, the partners encourage you to leave on time.” And it sounds like that supportive stance isn’t just empty words. Junior lawyers describe a “better than average” balance towards “life”.

Striking that balance does depend on the department, our spies tell us: “In property, it was pretty good with average working hours. In corporate/commercial your personal life can take a serious hit at times.” Everything is relative, of course, comments one rookie: “For law (!) I think the firm offers a pretty decent balance. Stay till 7pm when you are busy, leave at 6 when you are not. Occasionally there are longer days but these are few and far between and usually involve travelling.”

Read Ashfords’ Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

BLM

Apparently, trainees at BLM can expect to leave the office at an astonishing 5.45pm. That is almost like an average school day of yore or reminiscent of being a student after a day with a few lectures. Only in Denmark, the mecca for work/life balance advocates where offices are notorious for being completely empty by 5.30pm, would you see such times (giving you plenty of opportunity to watch all those Nordic-noir thrillers on Netflix, one presumes).

No wonder then that this insurance and dispute resolution firm, created when Berryman Lace Mawer merged with Scottish outfit HBM Sayers way back in 2014, has made the A* grade in work/life balance. With major centres in London and Manchester, and outposts in Ireland and Scotland, BLM’s core practice of insurance may not be as eye-catching as other practice areas but with eons of hours freed up in the evening, who needs glamour?

Read BLM’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Blake Morgan

Blake Morgan, a firm spanning South England from London and Southampton across to Oxford and onto Cardiff, not only scored A* for work/life balance but also hit jackpot by making it into the top ten best arrive-and-leave times.

One of the interesting points about striking the perfect equilibrium between your life and your work is that no one minds work interfering on occasion. They also don’t mind as long as periods of really hard graft are recognised by the partners. As one rookie puts it: “Although there are times when working late is inevitable, this is acknowledged and is not the norm.” Neatly summarised by another with the observation: “It varies but I am not moaning!”

The firm has a mish-mash of areas of expertise and client base and that includes a professional regulatory team representing the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) and the Bar Standards Board (BSB). So that must keep its lawyers on their toes…

There does appear to be some imbalance between departments which has fuelled some resentment, as one insider grumbles: “Different teams work different hours. Construction has its pinch points (adjudications) where long hours are necessary.” And here’s the rub: “… a bit galling when you walk out into an empty car park at 10pm and realize that 95% of the firm has gone home, had its dinner and is probably in bed by now.” Another junior lawyer added, however, that this would only apply to “a couple of areas”.

Read Blake Morgan’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Browne Jacobson

Congratulations to Browne Jacobson, a full-service firm with good-quality work across a good range of practice areas (they do a lot of work defending the public sector: representing over 50 hospital trusts, as well as councils) for making it to our top ten.

This national firm based in the Midlands is a friendly, level-headed sort of place and at least one insider is ebullient: “For the quality of work, the size of firm and the pay, I would imagine you would be hard pressed to find a top 60 law firm with a better work/life balance”. The only qualification to this was that there was some variety between departments: “Commercial tends to be the longest [hours]”. But a deal’s a deal, after all. And dealmakers wait for no man (or woman).

Browne Jacobson’s Manchester office in Spinningfields was opened a couple of years ago with much ado and a goal of offering a more flexible working environment: “[it will] give our employees greater flexibility in the way they choose to work” said one senior member at the time.

Read Browne Jacobson’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

DWF

DWF scooped a place not only in Legal Cheek’s top ten firms for work/life balance but also came up trumps on its average arrive-and-leave times for 2019. So we can be pretty confident that a healthy attitude to work is something DWF can deliver on. As one insider put it, the firm’s work/life balance is: “Pretty bloody great to be honest — would not trade it right now.”

Though there might be some variety between seats, one trainee said that despite being in a banking seat they were: “almost always out by 6.30-7pm”.

DWF is an ambitious and growing firm, originally a Northern/regional player, latterly expanding into London and internationally. It looks as if this City-style firm with City-style ambitions paying decent salaries but only really demanding regional hours.

Read DWF’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Fieldfisher

This is Fieldfisher’s third year in the top ten law firms for work/life balance, which is impressive given our less-than-secure times. The firm has continued its growth with a series of European openings in Italy and Holland. Given its sumptuous London office on the north bank of the River Thames, it’s the perfect springboard for your evening out or jog along the Thames Path — and it appears Fieldfisher makes such activities feasible.

As with many things in life, it’s also relative. Fieldfisher, as a City player, easily in the top 30 firms in the country so its work/life balance is, according to our spies, “great compared to other City firms”. You do have to pack a lot in because you’ll be expected to clock up 1,500 billable hours. But the rewards could be dreamy: Fieldfisher’s top-grossing partner (under the lockstep system) last year earned a cool £3 million putting them almost on a par with magic circle partners: Allen & Overy’s top partner taking home £3.5 million.

Read Fieldfisher’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Forsters

A repeat top ten law firm for work/life balance, Forsters is an elegant practice based in Mayfair doing private client and real estate work. It’s done very well in the era of the high-net-worth individual and pays its staff well to boot. One insider described the work/life balance as “great” and added: “I am actively encouraged to pursue my extra-curricular weekday activities.” Yes, you read that correctly: weekday activities are thumbs-up.

Targets are 1,300 billable hours per year which is certainly better than some other firms who have similar average arrive-and-leave figures but are expecting more (perhaps up to 1,500-1,600 billable hours) from your time. This isn’t an anonymous City-style workhouse, it’s an intimate one-office outfit that may suit your busy life down to the ground.

Read Forsters’ Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Irwin Mitchell

Irwin Mitchell has consistently received accolades for delivering on work/life balance for its lawyers, making it into our top ten for the third year running (and always also doing exceptionally well on its arrive-and-leave times). “Everyone down tools at 5pm” at this national firm of 14 offices, says one insider. It has made some small-firm acquisitions, and moved its Manchester crew to a shiny new space.

No wonder then that one rookie describes the firm’s work/life balance as “exceptionally good”. There are references to a whole “one-hour lunch break” and “added coffee breaks to boot.” Another says: “A standard day in my current seat is 9am – 5pm; whilst this isn’t the norm, the work/life balance here is a real perk.” One junior lawyer is equally positive: “A trainee telling you that they stayed until 8pm would be met with gasps of shock.” Nor is this just about decent hours. It looks as if there is also a healthy aversion to ‘presenteeism’: “The firm encourages flexible and agile working so it is easy to work from home or another office when necessary.”

Read Irwin Mitchell’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Mills & Reeve

This East-Anglian-headquartered law firm has some great work in areas such as tech and life sciences, and posted excellent turnover and bonuses at the end of 2018 (there was £2 million of love to spread around the firm). Plus it’s doing well on work/life balance for the second year running, and posted an excellent leave time of, wait for it, 5.45pm! That’s, like, really early, particularly if you don’t have an annual hours target. But it is also true that the staff have an arrival time of 8.41am. So it looks as if Mills & Reeve staff are early birds who work hard — and then leave. Taking around twenty trainees a year in the regions, staff can buy extra holiday and, it appears, actually manage to take it as well.

The ability to achieve that perfect work/life balance may vary depending on the location of the office and the seat: real estate, corporate and banking seats being victim to 7pm exits, apparently, but others are “more relaxed”.

Read Mills & Reeve’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Royds Withy King

This well-established, Bath-based firm slam-dunked in Legal Cheek’s arrive-and-leave time scores by being the firm officially with the shortest working day. No wonder then that it also finds its place on the work/life balance leaderboard, and that one insider comments: “I rarely work later than 6, and have never been required to come in on a weekend.” It may come as a bit of a surprise, then, that one rookie observed that there were differences between the seats and that the balance is: “very dependent on department.”

Royds Withy King has been ranked in the Top 100 Best Mid-sized Companies to Work For in the past five years, so they are clearly doing something very right indeed. It has a broad commercial offering and a healthy private wealth practice plus some interesting areas of expertise such as bloodstock and racing. A recent alliance with a firm advising Michelin star restaurants and chefs sounds pretty juicy too.

Read Royds Withy King’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

The firm with the best work/life balance will be announced at the Legal Cheek Awards 2019 on 21 March at the Cheesegrater in London.

Peruse all of the firms’ new 2018-19 survey scorecards — including training, quality of work, perks and much more — via the Legal Cheek Firms Most List 2018-19.

The post Revealed: The best law firms for work/life balance – 2019 edition appeared first on Legal Cheek.

from Legal News https://www.legalcheek.com/2019/02/revealed-the-best-law-firms-for-work-life-balance-2019-edition/

[alanafsmith]

Revealed: The best law firms for work/life balance – 2019 edition

The outfits bucking the ‘all work no play’ trend

There’s a lot of noise around achieving a healthy work/life balance and no end of advice for employers and staff alike: HR policies, ‘wellbeing’ weeks, awareness days, inspirational talks, and so on. Given all the helpful material out there, one wonders why we are not all in some work/life nirvana.

The fact is that awareness is one thing, changing the culture and mindset is quite another. But as our most recent Legal Cheek survey of over 2,000 trainees and junior associates at the leading law firms in London and the UK, shows, there are firms out there who are trying hard. Sometimes this might come at the expense of a fat pay packet but not always.

A good work/life balance is not only about avoiding long hours (though of course, 60% of the firms that have done well in our survey for work/life balance are also in the top ten for the best average arrive and leave times): it’s also about having an open mind, exploring flexible working, avoiding ‘presenteeism’ and not emailing staff until the late hours and expecting a response. Out of a possible top score of ten; one equates to: “I’ve sub-let my flat as I haven’t been there for months,” and ten is: “I’ve never had to cancel a dinner reservation”.

We can finally reveal the ten best law firms for work/life balance as scored in our survey. In alphabetical order, they are…

Ashfords

This South West stalwart with over 500 staff in six sites (including London), scored a shiny A* for work/life balance. On the brink of a merger with Reading firm, Boyes Turner, Ashfords has ambition but not at the cost of your life. One insider enthused: “I love the work/life balance at Ashfords. The latest I have ever stayed is 7pm. If there is no urgent work to do, the partners encourage you to leave on time.” And it sounds like that supportive stance isn’t just empty words. Junior lawyers describe a “better than average” balance towards “life”.

Striking that balance does depend on the department, our spies tell us: “In property, it was pretty good with average working hours. In corporate/commercial your personal life can take a serious hit at times.” Everything is relative, of course, comments one rookie: “For law (!) I think the firm offers a pretty decent balance. Stay till 7pm when you are busy, leave at 6 when you are not. Occasionally there are longer days but these are few and far between and usually involve travelling.”

Read Ashfords’ Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

BLM

Apparently, trainees at BLM can expect to leave the office at an astonishing 5.45pm. That is almost like an average school day of yore or reminiscent of being a student after a day with a few lectures. Only in Denmark, the mecca for work/life balance advocates where offices are notorious for being completely empty by 5.30pm, would you see such times (giving you plenty of opportunity to watch all those Nordic-noir thrillers on Netflix, one presumes).

No wonder then that this insurance and dispute resolution firm, created when Berryman Lace Mawer merged with Scottish outfit HBM Sayers way back in 2014, has made the A* grade in work/life balance. With major centres in London and Manchester, and outposts in Ireland and Scotland, BLM’s core practice of insurance may not be as eye-catching as other practice areas but with eons of hours freed up in the evening, who needs glamour?

Read BLM’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Blake Morgan

Blake Morgan, a firm spanning South England from London and Southampton across to Oxford and onto Cardiff, not only scored A* for work/life balance but also hit jackpot by making it into the top ten best arrive-and-leave times.

One of the interesting points about striking the perfect equilibrium between your life and your work is that no one minds work interfering on occasion. They also don’t mind as long as periods of really hard graft are recognised by the partners. As one rookie puts it: “Although there are times when working late is inevitable, this is acknowledged and is not the norm.” Neatly summarised by another with the observation: “It varies but I am not moaning!”

The firm has a mish-mash of areas of expertise and client base and that includes a professional regulatory team representing the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) and the Bar Standards Board (BSB). So that must keep its lawyers on their toes…

There does appear to be some imbalance between departments which has fuelled some resentment, as one insider grumbles: “Different teams work different hours. Construction has its pinch points (adjudications) where long hours are necessary.” And here’s the rub: “… a bit galling when you walk out into an empty car park at 10pm and realize that 95% of the firm has gone home, had its dinner and is probably in bed by now.” Another junior lawyer added, however, that this would only apply to “a couple of areas”.

Read Blake Morgan’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Browne Jacobson

Congratulations to Browne Jacobson, a full-service firm with good-quality work across a good range of practice areas (they do a lot of work defending the public sector: representing over 50 hospital trusts, as well as councils) for making it to our top ten.

This national firm based in the Midlands is a friendly, level-headed sort of place and at least one insider is ebullient: “For the quality of work, the size of firm and the pay, I would imagine you would be hard pressed to find a top 60 law firm with a better work/life balance”. The only qualification to this was that there was some variety between departments: “Commercial tends to be the longest [hours]”. But a deal’s a deal, after all. And dealmakers wait for no man (or woman).

Browne Jacobson’s Manchester office in Spinningfields was opened a couple of years ago with much ado and a goal of offering a more flexible working environment: “[it will] give our employees greater flexibility in the way they choose to work” said one senior member at the time.

Read Browne Jacobson’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

DWF

DWF scooped a place not only in Legal Cheek’s top ten firms for work/life balance but also came up trumps on its average arrive-and-leave times for 2019. So we can be pretty confident that a healthy attitude to work is something DWF can deliver on. As one insider put it, the firm’s work/life balance is: “Pretty bloody great to be honest — would not trade it right now.”

Though there might be some variety between seats, one trainee said that despite being in a banking seat they were: “almost always out by 6.30-7pm”.

DWF is an ambitious and growing firm, originally a Northern/regional player, latterly expanding into London and internationally. It looks as if this City-style firm with City-style ambitions paying decent salaries but only really demanding regional hours.

Read DWF’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Fieldfisher

This is Fieldfisher’s third year in the top ten law firms for work/life balance, which is impressive given our less-than-secure times. The firm has continued its growth with a series of European openings in Italy and Holland. Given its sumptuous London office on the north bank of the River Thames, it’s the perfect springboard for your evening out or jog along the Thames Path — and it appears Fieldfisher makes such activities feasible.

As with many things in life, it’s also relative. Fieldfisher, as a City player, easily in the top 30 firms in the country so its work/life balance is, according to our spies, “great compared to other City firms”. You do have to pack a lot in because you’ll be expected to clock up 1,500 billable hours. But the rewards could be dreamy: Fieldfisher’s top-grossing partner (under the lockstep system) last year earned a cool £3 million putting them almost on a par with magic circle partners: Allen & Overy’s top partner taking home £3.5 million.

Read Fieldfisher’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Forsters

A repeat top ten law firm for work/life balance, Forsters is an elegant practice based in Mayfair doing private client and real estate work. It’s done very well in the era of the high-net-worth individual and pays its staff well to boot. One insider described the work/life balance as “great” and added: “I am actively encouraged to pursue my extra-curricular weekday activities.” Yes, you read that correctly: weekday activities are thumbs-up.

Targets are 1,300 billable hours per year which is certainly better than some other firms who have similar average arrive-and-leave figures but are expecting more (perhaps up to 1,500-1,600 billable hours) from your time. This isn’t an anonymous City-style workhouse, it’s an intimate one-office outfit that may suit your busy life down to the ground.

Read Forsters’ Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Irwin Mitchell

Irwin Mitchell has consistently received accolades for delivering on work/life balance for its lawyers, making it into our top ten for the third year running (and always also doing exceptionally well on its arrive-and-leave times). “Everyone down tools at 5pm” at this national firm of 14 offices, says one insider. It has made some small-firm acquisitions, and moved its Manchester crew to a shiny new space.

No wonder then that one rookie describes the firm’s work/life balance as “exceptionally good”. There are references to a whole “one-hour lunch break�� and “added coffee breaks to boot.” Another says: “A standard day in my current seat is 9am – 5pm; whilst this isn’t the norm, the work/life balance here is a real perk.” One junior lawyer is equally positive: “A trainee telling you that they stayed until 8pm would be met with gasps of shock.” Nor is this just about decent hours. It looks as if there is also a healthy aversion to ‘presenteeism’: “The firm encourages flexible and agile working so it is easy to work from home or another office when necessary.”

Read Irwin Mitchell’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Mills & Reeve

This East-Anglian-headquartered law firm has some great work in areas such as tech and life sciences, and posted excellent turnover and bonuses at the end of 2018 (there was £2 million of love to spread around the firm). Plus it’s doing well on work/life balance for the second year running, and posted an excellent leave time of, wait for it, 5.45pm! That’s, like, really early, particularly if you don’t have an annual hours target. But it is also true that the staff have an arrival time of 8.41am. So it looks as if Mills & Reeve staff are early birds who work hard — and then leave. Taking around twenty trainees a year in the regions, staff can buy extra holiday and, it appears, actually manage to take it as well.

The ability to achieve that perfect work/life balance may vary depending on the location of the office and the seat: real estate, corporate and banking seats being victim to 7pm exits, apparently, but others are “more relaxed”.

Read Mills & Reeve’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Royds Withy King

This well-established, Bath-based firm slam-dunked in Legal Cheek’s arrive-and-leave time scores by being the firm officially with the shortest working day. No wonder then that it also finds its place on the work/life balance leaderboard, and that one insider comments: “I rarely work later than 6, and have never been required to come in on a weekend.” It may come as a bit of a surprise, then, that one rookie observed that there were differences between the seats and that the balance is: “very dependent on department.”

Royds Withy King has been ranked in the Top 100 Best Mid-sized Companies to Work For in the past five years, so they are clearly doing something very right indeed. It has a broad commercial offering and a healthy private wealth practice plus some interesting areas of expertise such as bloodstock and racing. A recent alliance with a firm advising Michelin star restaurants and chefs sounds pretty juicy too.

Read Royds Withy King’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

The firm with the best work/life balance will be announced at the Legal Cheek Awards 2019 on 21 March at the Cheesegrater in London.

Peruse all of the firms’ new 2018-19 survey scorecards — including training, quality of work, perks and much more — via the Legal Cheek Firms Most List 2018-19.

The post Revealed: The best law firms for work/life balance – 2019 edition appeared first on Legal Cheek.

from All About Law https://www.legalcheek.com/2019/02/revealed-the-best-law-firms-for-work-life-balance-2019-edition/

[fc-hdfc-slic]

Whole Life Insurance Plan

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Vrajendra Vyas

Financial Consultant at HDFC SLIC

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AA Reader Case Study: Whole Life Insurance

JULY 5, 2018EARLYRETIREMENTNOW.COM17 COMMENTS

Welcome back! I hope everyone had a great 4th of July Holiday (U.S. Independence Day for non-U.S. readers)! Before we get started I have a small favor to ask: At the upcoming FinCon in Orlando in September, it’s time again for the Annual Plutus Awards. As you may recall, last year, my small blog was one of the finalists in the “Blog of the Year” category, thanks to the support of the many faithful readers. If you like what I’m doing here on the blog please nominate the ERN blog again in the relevant categories! Please head to the Plutus Award Nomination site and enter your ballot!You can nominate up to three choices per category and you don’t even have to fill out all categories. Only one submission per IP address, please! Thanks in advance for your support!

Today I have a case study about whole life insurance. Not the most popular investment vehicle among the FIRE enthusiasts, see, for example, an excellent summary of the disadvantages of Whole Life by White Coat Investor (though, for full disclosure, I don’t agree with all of his claims and calculations). But let’s face it: a lot of folks have policies and now wonder what to do about them. Here’s a case study about the tradeoffs when considering either cashing out the policy or keeping it intact. Let’s look at the numbers…

The background

Some details have been changed to preserve anonymity, but without changing the math of the case study!

Abe and Barb (not their real names) are fellow FIRE enthusiasts and reached out to me to answer a few questions related to their parents’ finances. Specifically, Abe’s parents, let’s call them Chris and Deb (also not their real names) signed up for a whole life insurance policy a number of years ago. The policy is a joint-life policy, so it pays out only after both spouses have passed. The policy is for a seven-figure sum, but to preserve some anonymity, I scale all numerical parameters to a policy death benefit of exactly $1,000,000. Specifically:

Death Benefit: $1,000,000

Current annual premium: $16,326 (ouch!) and that premium has to be paid every year for the duration of the policy up to age 100 (ouch again!).

Current cash value (if liquidated today): $105,281.

Age of both insured: 60

Abe and Barb are the beneficiaries of the policy. The policy is currently in an irrevocable trust with Abe and Barb as trustees.

A side note: The policy has been in effect for a number of years now and today’s cash value (the money you get back if you pull the plug on the policy) is actually less than the cumulative premiums over the last years.

My first question after seeing the request: Why the heck would anyone sign up for this kind of policy? It turns out that Chris and Deb own a family business and that business will be handed over to Abe and Barb after both Chris and Deb have passed away. At that time, a potentially sizable estate tax bill would be due. The business is a highly illiquid asset; it’s a privately-owned company (LLC or LP, I presume) and you can’t just sell a few shares at the NYSE to raise the cash for the tax bill. And so goes the rationale for the whole life policy that will pay out exactly when the last survivor passes away. I still don’t quite agree that this is a good rationale for buying a whole life policy, more on that later. But Chris and Deb have the policy now and whether or not it made sense at the time, it’s a sunk cost now. What can they do? The three obvious choices on the table are:

Keep the policy

Cut the losses and cash out the policy today

Wait and see: Keep the policy for a few more years to at least “recover the losses” of the past few years.

There are actually two other suggestions and I will get into the details below. For now, let’s look at the two major tradeoffs: 1) cash out today vs. keep the policy and 2) cash out today vs. cash out in 5 years. The first calculation is quite a bit more involved, so let’s start with that one:

Tradeoff 1: Cash out the policy now vs. keep the policy

If Chris and Deb keep the policy alive they’d forego the cashout value today and the future premiums but they’d keep the death benefit. There’s also the additional complication about the uncertainty about when the death benefit is paid out. And then there’s an additional twist: the policy is held with a mutual life insurance company and as policyholders, Chris and Deb share some of the profits that their company generates. The default setting is for the annual dividends to be reinvested into the policy with the effect of increasing the death benefit. But we have no idea what the future will hold and how profitable that company will be. Therefore, projections about future death benefits are normally done for three scenarios:

Extrapolate the current profitability and dividend rate for all future dates. The “non-guaranteed death benefit.”

Assume no dividends at all, i.e., assume the death benefit doesn’t grow. This is the “guaranteed death benefit.”

The midpoint between the two.

So, we’d have to calculate everything exactly three times because of the three alternative dividend assumptions. More work for me!

To warm up, let’s do one quick calculation and assume that the death benefit is paid out after exactly 30 years when the last survivor dies at age 90. Not too different from the joint survivor life expectancy as we shall see below. So, what are the tradeoffs? The incremental cash flows of keeping the policy are

a negative flow of the cash value today,

then 30 annual premium payments (also a negative flow)

and a positive payment at the end equal to the death benefit.

Abe and Barb shared the numbers from the most recent policy statement:

A guaranteed benefit of $1,000,000.

A midpoint benefit of $1,375,785. It’s not exactly the arithmetic average of the guaranteed and optimistic benefit, so I can’t really tell what they mean by mid-point…

An optimistic benefit of $1,861,078.

Let’s calculate the internal rate of return (IRR) and the net present value (NPV) of the cash flows for a specific discount rate set to 4%, just like my blogging friend AoF did in his recent post. The results are in the table below. Not a bad return profile! The worst-case scenario (without any dividends) yields 3.06%, about as much as the 30-year Treasury bond right now. With the optimistic assumption of the current dividend yield, we get 6.23% and 4.72 for the midpoint. That’s worse than historical equity returns but still not too shabby! I personally doubt that even equities will easily get above 6% returnsover the next ten years, but over 30 years you have a pretty good chance of beating that, even with today’s high CAPE ratio.

WholeLife Case Study Table01

IRR and net present value of cash flows (4% discount rate) if the policy pays out after 30 years (age 90).

Summary so far: it looks like once you disregard the sunk costs of bad returns over the initial few years of the policy, subsequent returns are definitely attractive relative to an investment in bonds.

So much for a warm-up! The actual problem at hand is slightly more complicated: There is the uncertaintyabout the timing of the death benefit because nobody knows when the last survivor passes away. So, let’s get an actuary to weigh in! Actuary on FIRErecommended the site Longevity Illustrator that helped me gauge the probabilities for when the last survivor passes away (I used two non-smokers, average health, both 60 years old). I calculated all the internal rates of returns IRRs and net present values (NPVs) for different ages, in steps of 5 years to save space (and computation effort). See table below.

I also calculated the IRRs and NPVs of the probability-weighted cash flows. For the math wonks, it’s important to note that I calculated the probability-weighted cash flows first and then the IRR, not the other way around. For the super-wonks, that makes a difference because the IRR calculation is “non-linear.” I confirmed with Actuary on FIREthat this is the proper, “actuary-approved” method in this context. The probability-weighted IRRs are pretty decent: between just under 4% (higher than current government bond yields) to 6.97% if we are optimistic and assume the insurance company keeps handing out dividends at the same rate as before. That’s a tax-free return, just to be sure!

WholeLife Case Study Table02

IRR and NPV at different ages of last spouse passing away. The bottom row uses the probability-weighted cash flows.

So, what’s the final recommendation? It depends! How much of a strain does the annual premium put on the parents’ cash flow? If they didn’t have to pay the premiums how would they use the money? Buy a government bond ETF yielding 2.8% to maybe 3.0%? Then it’s probably a better idea to just stick with the insurance policy. On the other hand, if they were to invest the freed-up cash flow in stocks or the business itself you might get better returns there! From Abe and Barb, I got the sense that tying up more money in the business might not be the most palatable option for the family right now. And stocks also seem a bit overvalued right now. One route that Abe floated and that would have been my suggestion, too, would be to keep the insurance policy intact and make this the “bond portion” in their personal portfolio. Then keep the remainder of their portfolio invested primarily in stocks. As long as U.S. bond yields are so low keeping the policy doesn’t seem so bad.

Tradeoff 2: Cash out the policy now vs. cash out the policy in 5 years

Another alternative: Why not “wait and see” for another 5 years? I think that’s an interesting route if done for the right reason. Of course, a bad reason would be to recover the losses from the last few years. They are sunk costs and should have no bearing on the decision today. Sometimes behavioral biases (loss aversion in this case) get in the way of rational decisions. But a good reason would be the following; I got the sense from Abe and Barb that the parent’s business is currently exploring new routes expanding their business. If this all turns out well then who cares? If the business becomes even more successful than it already is, there will be a lot less of a burden from having to pay the substantial premiums every year.

So, numerically, the tradeoff is between cashing out the $105,281 today vs. paying $16,368 for five more years and (according to the most recent statement) getting $204,637, $209,166, or $213,827 at the end as the surrender value of the policy for the guaranteed/mid-point/optimistic dividend scenario. The IRRs are now 2.43%, 3.03%, 3.63% in the three dividend scenarios. That’s really low compared to long-term equity returns but not too shabby compared bond or CD rates right now. And it’s tax-exempt!

And it gets even (slightly) better: In the calculations above I ignored the death benefit. It’s because the death of both parents is so unlikely (only about 0.28% cumulative probability over the five years). But a small probability multiplied with a large sum can still make a noticeable difference. So, if I factor in that there’s a 0.056% probability each year of a $1,000,000 insurance payout then the IRRs become 2.77%, 3.36%, and 3.88% under the three alternative dividend scenarios. Again, not that bad of an expected return for a low-volatility “investment” that’s also tax-free.

Side Note: Was this policy a bad idea from the start?

Apart from all the math, I’d like to share one or two additional thoughts on how much sense this particular whole life insurance policy made when Chris and Deb signed at the dotted line several years ago. I certainly understand the concern of the parents to care for the kids. But if you leave an estate big enough to generate a $1m estate tax bill one would think that the kids will be able to choke up enough cash to pay the tax bill themselves. Here’s a back-of-the-envelope calculation on how big an estate would have to be to generate a seven-figure estate tax bill:

Assume a $5m exemption. The 2018 exemption is actually now $11.18m, but a few years ago nobody would have known that 2017 tax reform bill would increase the exemption by that much. For most of the last decade, the exemption was at $5m and slightly above!

The first $1m above the exemption uses a sliding marginal tax scale, for a total of $345,800.

Above $1m, we face a marginal tax of 40%. So a $1m estate tax bill would come from an estate of $6,000,000+($1,000,000-$345,800)/0.4=$7,635,500.

So, to get a $1m estate tax bill, the business and all of Chris and Deb’s other assets would have to be assessed at over $7.6m. Illiquid or not, I would think there will some way to come up with a million bucks. Especially considering that Abe and Barb are FIRE enthusiasts who will likely have plenty of liquid financial wealth on their own two or three decades down the road. From an ex-ante point of view, I would have probably advised against signing up for the policy.

But there’s another concern! I have a fundamental problem with planning for an estate tax issue that many decades into the future. The main reason: businesses fail. They can fail for all sorts of reasons: macroeconomics (recession), sector effects (the specific sector goes through a tough time) or idiosyncratic risk (getting sued or regulated out of business, etc.). And with this expensive life insurance policy, you’d compound the business risk because if the business fails you’ll still be on the hook for the insurance premiums for as long as you live. Of course, you can always surrender the policy but now you have unnecessarily tied your personal investments to your business success. Why add more correlation to your investments?

But again, this is all “water under the bridge” now. But food for thought for others considering how to deal with the estate tax issue right now.

Other options to consider

Two other ideas I want to throw into the mix. First, before canceling the policy I’d shop around and see if someone wants to take over the policy from you. It’s called life settlement. Hedge funds, banks and other investors have gotten into the business of buying out existing life insurance policies. I can’t speak from experience here and I certainly can’t recommend or endorse a provider. You might get more than the surrender value that the insurance company offers, but there are also some drawbacks, see this article at AARP.

Whether you surrender the policy or sell it to a third party, I’d also explore the option of surrendering/selling a portionof the policy and keeping the rest intact. For the third party route that’s normally an option but I’d also check if the insurance company allows a partial surrender/cash-out.

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[turnabouttoothbrush]

Reckoning, Chapter Five

And rounding out the set, today we have Fallen, Aziz, and Cade.

(Happy belated Thanksgiving for the Americans in the audience!)

Cade: Hooo... I love Thanksgiving, but mostly for the cooking portions of it...

Fallen: I love the eating portions of it!

Cade: I know, I know, but... you know... current living arrangements and all...

Aziz: *snorts* Airey’s aunt didn’t ask her to help with any with the dinner arrangements, readers. It was... quite surreal, considering back home Thanksgiving dinner was usually at least 50% Airey’s contribution.

Cade: So by extension, me! And I guess we shouldn’t horn in on their family traditions, but seriously? Ours are so much better...

Fallen: Yeah, Nana’s stuffing might be salty but it’s loads better than the store-bought stuff.

Cade: Store-bought stuff is heresy!

Aziz: Can we just start the fic?

Warm, soft lips caressed my own. The way Axel kissed me made my lips tingle. He was so much gentler, so much more patient, not forcing his way into my mouth right away. He was not at all like Vexen, who was possessive and jealous, or the others. I tensed as I remembered. Axel kissing me made me remember it all; the rape the abuse… even though he was nothing like that, he still made me remember, and I started to cry again. Axel stopped as soon as he noticed.

"Roxas?" he asked looking down at me concerned and a little hurt as I cried harder.

I looked away. "If I said no," I began, trying to calm down a little, "would you rape me just like everyone else?"

"That son-of-a-bitch,"Axel muttered darkly as soon as I'd asked. I could tell that he was absolutely furious, cursing under his breath for a few minutes. He returned his attention to me after a moment, pulling me up into a tight embrace, which I fought until he said something. "I would never do anything like that to you Roxas," he murmured soothingly into my hair. I returned the embrace, sobbing into his chest as I had my second long cry for the day. I nearly missed what he said next, I was crying so hard.

"Why didn't you tell me, Roxas? I would have protected you."

Fallen: Although I guess our aunt not having us help with dinner might have been partially motivated by our recent trip to the ER. (Ruptured ovarian cyst. Not fun, but Airey was back at the ol’ mission the next day, no problem.)

Cade: It’s not like we even took any of the narcotic painkillers until today, just the NSAIDs.

Aziz: We then proceeded to pass the fuck out for like two hours.

Cade: I guess Tramadol’s the good shit after all.

Axel took me to the hospital that night, just to make sure I was okay. I had various tests run on me, to see if I'd caught anything or if the drugs had damaged me. Amazingly enough, the drugs hadn't affected me too badly. With continued non-use of them, the doctors said I should be just fine. Also, much to everyone's surprise, I hadn't caught anything from all that unprotected sex.

Aziz: Of course not, because that would introduce actual conflict into this story. Can’t have that.

So, I was relatively unscathed, except for some mental scarring and malnourishment. The doctors insisted on wrapping my wrists and arm so that they wouldn't get infected as well as keeping me at the hospital until I was stronger.

Fallen: Hope you have a good insurance plan, bucko! Seriously, what kind of hospital keeps someone for observation over “mental scarring and malnourishment”?

Cade: They’re not. It’s an involuntary psych hold, they’re just telling him it isn’t to keep him calm.

Axel waited close by the entire time for support, until he was informed that Saix, who Axel later told me was recovering nicely, was in this hospital as well and went to go see him. When he left, they wrapped my wrists and got me settled into a room, attaching an IV to my arm. I ended up falling asleep before Axel rejoined me.

Fallen: I’m sure Saïx will be happy to see the guy who shot the guy who stabbed him.

Aziz: Or whatever the hell happened in that McDonald’s.

The next morning, I woke up in the hospital, panicking slightly at the unfamiliarity before I remembered where I was. I seemed to panic a lot lately. I was relieved to see Axel close by. The red-head had fallen asleep, chair slid up next to my bed, and was bent over so that his upper half was resting on my bed while his lower half was in the chair. It looked extremely uncomfortable. Xaldin was also close by, looking equally uncomfortable, sleeping in another chair.

I reached over resting a hand lightly on Axel's head, thinking about what he'd asked me the other day about letting him in... He really was pretty and seemed nice… I just didn't know if I could ever love him.

Cade: *cups paws around mouth* YOU PRETTY MUCH JUST MET HIM

I didn't know if I could ever love anybody at all, or what love was even supposed to be like. The last person I'd ever even cared about had been my mother, but I wasn't even sure if what I'd felt for her had been love...

Fallen: Wait, what?

Cade: I want to think that the author is poorly phrasing Roxas not being able to articulate/conceptualize the difference between love for a parent and love for a romantic partner, but...

Aziz: But Roxas is a sociopath and obviously didn’t feel love for his mother, she was just someone who took beatings for him.

Cade: I didn’t want to say it.

I smiled at Axel, running a hand through his fiery spikes and watching him sleep. I wondered what would happen next… where I'd go, what I'd do… "Why didn't you tell me, Roxas? I would have protected you." That's what he'd said. Would he protect me still, even if I wouldn't accept his feelings? I mused.

Aziz: Buy a gun and protect yourself, ya weenie.

I must've subconsciously gripped his hair, thinking about it more, because he grimaced, muttering something groggily, before opening his eyes. "Roxas," said Axel, smiling at me when his eyes focused in on me as I let go, "how are you feeling?" He asked, sitting up, grimacing again as he stretched.

"Alright," I said softly, pausing for a long moment debating whether or not to give him an answer to his question yet... "Look, Axel, about dating you…" I began but stopped when he gripped my hand.

"It's okay, Roxas, you don't have to think about that, or answer now. You've been through so much already," he said squeezing my hand tightly.

Fallen: I’m glad Axel has at least some semblance of tact and sensitivity in this fic.

Cade: Yeah, but I’m sure it won’t last.

Fallen: No, seriously, he’s actually pretty decent at not pressuring Roxas into things... at least compared to some other fics...

I took a deep breath, leaning back against the pillows to make sure I kept from crying about the past again. Axel was being so kind to me… he was the first person to be nice to me in a long time.

"Hey Roxas?" Axel said, running his thumb along the top of my hand.

"Yeah?" I asked, eyes still closed.

"Xaldin told me about what happened to you, your dad, the abuse… Vexen," He started.

Aziz: Didn’t occur to you that he might want to tell Axel on his own terms, eh Xaldin?

I pulled my hand away quickly, making him look at me. He looked like he felt sorry for me, but it was quickly replaced by shock when he saw the look of anger on my face. I had opened my eyes and was glaring at him.

"Don't you dare pity me," I spat at him angrily

Aziz: #relateable

before looking away. I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye as I continued to sulk.

Aziz: Although if some asshole smirked at me after I say that I don’t want to be pitied, then I’d definitely be hopping out of that hospital bed to tear him a new asshole.

Fallen: But you have an IV in this context!

Aziz: I’d use the tubing to strangle them.

"Fair enough," He said quietly before going quiet for a long moment. "Will you stay with me after you're discharged from the hospital?" he asked, making me look at him wide-eyed. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, if you'd rather live with someone else… or you can join my gang if you'd like…" he continued, looking like he was wondering if he'd said the wrong thing.

Join his gang huh?

Cade: *as Roxas* Revenge killings, turf wars, prostitution rings, buying and selling drugs... sounds like a nice, healthy environment for someone with my tragic backstory!

"Why would you want me to stay with you?" I asked, confused.

Aziz: *as Axel* That’s what it says in the script. Look, Roxas, I just work here.

Fallen: *also as Axel* Besides, I made a tidy profit off of cutting that last batch of Columbian flake with laundry soap, so it’s not like I don’t have an extra house if you’d like some space.

I wasn't quite sure what he could possibly hope to gain from helping me. Well… besides changing my mind about him for the better...

"I want to protect you," Axel stated, staring straight into my eyes as he grabbed my hand again. "And I don't want anyone to hurt you ever again."

Fallen: So keep him the heck away from gang life!! Geez!

I looked at him, this time I was the one who was shocked.

"What do you say?" Axel asked, patiently waiting for my answer.

I squeezed his hand looking at him gratefully. "…Okay," I replied nervously.

Cade: And so the recently-freed child sex slave agrees to move in with a man he knows almost nothing about besides 1. he runs a gang and 2. he’s attracted to him.

Fallen: Sounds totally plausible, right?!

Aziz: You forgot 3. he literally killed someone right in front of Roxas. In a McDonald’s.

I ended up staying at the hospital for three days. Axel didn't leave until I did, occasionally sneaking in candy from the vending machines for me and sharing it with me, much to the nurse's disapproval. I'm pretty sure it was because they didn't like the fact that I got candy while the other patients didn't, but I think that they were too afraid of Axel, knowing who he was, to stop him.

Aziz: Which... actually brings up another point... nothing ever happens to Axel for shooting someone in the face in a McDonald’s in the middle of the day. There’s not even any mention of him having to take steps to avoid the police. They simply don’t exist.

Cade: Don’t exist... or are in his pocket?!

Aziz: Exactly. It seems that for all intents and purposes Axel’s gang is the law around here.

Fallen: Geez, what is this, Brazil?

Aziz: So basically if it turned out that Roxas had, in fact, just walked right into another underaged sex slavery gig, he’d have no recourse whatsoever. Axel’s the most powerful guy around. No one’s gonna rescue him this time. There is no bigger fish.

Cade: Stop it, Aziz, you’re making this story seem actually interesting and we all know full well that is exactly the opposite of where this is going.

"Axel?" I asked on my second day in the hospital as he handed me some skittles.

"Yeah, Roxas?" he asked, eating one of each color at once.

"How old are you?" I asked.

"Twenty-three," he said leaning back. "Why?" he asked. I smiled at him.

Fallen: *as Roxas* I’m sixteen.

Aziz: *as Axel* Fuck.

"Just wondering," I said. A seven year difference, huh?

Cade: If I were him I’d be a bit more concerned about the fact that this is legally statutory rape and could get Axel in HUGE trouble (y’know, if law enforcement were an actual thing in this fic) than the precise number of years in the age gap.

Fallen: And so the sex offender shuffle gets a new verse.

He didn't look that much older than me…

Cade: That doesn’t make it okay.

Aziz: I mean, for goodness’ sake, there’s nothing wrong with writing ~problematic~ things like rape and grown-ass adults shacking up with sixteen-year-olds, but you could at least give your characters a modicum of sense about it.

Fallen: Yeah, find a way to get across to the readers that you, the author, know it’s fucked up. Because otherwise, we... kind of start to worry about you...

Cade: To be fair the author was probably sixteen or younger when they wrote this.

Fallen: That’s actually extra worrisome.

"Hey, Roxas," Axel said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I asked, looking at him again.

"You're not eating your candy," he said. I gaped at my hand. It was already becoming rainbow colored. I must've looked funny to Axel, who had a good laugh at my expense while I pouted at him a little.

His laugh was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard,

Cade: Well, he is voiced by Quinton Flynn.

I thought, looking over at him, never wanting him to stop. I wanted to hear him laugh like that every day if possible; it was nothing like I'd expected it to be. Even more unexpected to me was Axel in general. I didn't think any gang member, much less leader, could be anything like Axel was.

Aziz: Oh, just wait until you hear about him immolating people later.

Fallen: Roxas really doesn’t care when he finds out, Aziz.

Aziz: *sigh* I know.

"What's wrong Roxas?" Axel asked playfully, smirking at me as I stared at him.

"I'm just not hungry right now," I said, handing him my skittles. I audibly protested when he promptly ate them.

He laughed at me again. "If you don't want me to eat your candy, don't give it to me," he said amusedly, laughing lightly when I pouted at him again. "I'm sorry, Roxas," he said, sitting next to me on my bed. "Can I make it up to you?" he asked.

"Yes, actually," I said, smiling up at him.

Cade: “I want you to find my father Lexaeus and bring me his head. Shoulders are entirely optional but I want him to still be warm.”

"Will you take me out for ice-cream later?"

"Of course," Axel said, "What's your favorite flavor?"

"I, uhh, I don't know, I don't remember trying it…"

Fallen: Then why ask about it specifically? Especially considering it hasn’t come up at all before.

I said, looking down so he couldn't see the look on my face as I absentmindedly wiped my hand on the sheets. Axel placed a hand on my chin, lifting it despite my efforts to stop him.

"Guess I'll have to get you some of each flavor then, won't I?" he asked, beaming at me when I smiled at him happily instead of looking depressed.

Fallen: Does the author remember that ice cream stores’ll give you tiny spoonfuls of flavors you want to try before you actually buy anything?

Aziz: No.

The first thing Axel did when I got out of the hospital was take me to an ice-cream parlor. I swear, the person taking our order looked at Axel like he was daft for ordering one of everything. I probably would've too.

Aziz: No, they don’t remember.

"You could've just taken me here another time to try something new," I said, laughing at him a little. Axel laughed as well.

"Yeah, I guess I could've," he said, resting his chin in his palm and smiling at me from across the table.

"Axel," I said, reaching across the table and grasping his free hand. The red-head looked more than surprised by the action.

"Roxas?" He questioned.

"I want to join your gang," I said, staring into his eyes.

Cade: “I want the power that comes with violence and black/red-market dealings.”

I'd been thinking about it ever since he'd mentioned it. Axel looked like he were about to protest, but I squeezed his hand, quickly adding, "Don't try to talk me out of it, besides, you already said I could."

"You're mind's made up?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes," I said determinedly.

Aziz: *as Axel* Well, okay. So I guess since you have experience with it, I’ll have you turning tricks for now. With time you can work your way up to negotiating the purchase of third-world refugees from human traffickers - don’t stress too much about it, I’ve been known to play favorites and guess who’s Daddy’s new favorite ho~

Fallen: Pfft, not starting him off as a mule? And what about the initiation?

Aziz: Reaching ‘Daddy’s favorite ho’ status is the initiation. Just comes easier for some.

He smiled at me, which surprised me a lot. "Alright then," he said, sitting back and letting the hand that I wasn't holding fall across his lap. "May I ask why?" he asked.

"I want to be part of something… I want to feel like I have a purpose for once in my life," I said,

Cade: ...and cooking crystal in a basement somewhere then cutting it with sugar constitutes that?

Fallen: No, no, silly, it’s black tar heroin you cut with sugar. Meth you cut with vitamins and MSM.

Cade: I’m starting to uncomfortable with how much you know about this.

Fallen: What? This is just common knowledge.

and I don't want to rely on you fully to feel safe… I want to protect myself.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to school or do something else instead?" Axel asked.

I laughed a little bitterly. "I never even started school," I said.

Aziz: All the more reason to start.

Fallen: I like how Axel brings it up but doesn’t push the subject at all once Roxas politely declines.

I knew that he was just making sure that I really wanted to do this, but I'd made up my mind already and didn't really want to be questioned about my decision.

"Okay, as long as you promise me that you'll stay out of trouble and dangerous situations," Axel said. Even now he was trying to protect me.

"I promise," I said.

Cade: Tune in next time for this fic being boring as sin and Roxas actually keeping that promise. For now.

Aziz: Joining a gang is the literal opposite of staying out of trouble and dangerous situations by definition, what the fuck?

Fallen: I don’t think the author has a very good grasp of what a gang is.

Cade: Where the heck’s my story arc about Roxas getting thrown into prison and having to duke it out with rival gang members in the exercise yard? ...actually, now that I say that I’m pretty sure I would not want to read that coming from this author.

Aziz: When does he get shitty tattoos?

Fallen: Yeah. Author really does not know what a gang is like.

Cade: Can this even be blamed on it being 2008? I don’t think gang education was exactly lacking back then, er...

Fallen: No, back in 2008 we’d been taught in public school more about gangs than what shows up in this fic. And mind, we’re from one of the cushiest areas in metropolitan Atlanta.

Aziz: To be fair, though, it is still Atlanta. Having at least a vague idea of how gang life works is pretty relevant, even in the suburbs.

Cade: Where the heck is the author from?

Aziz: Profile doesn’t say.

Fallen: Well, regardless... it wouldn’t kill them to do a little research on the subject they’re writing about. And I don’t mean the kind of ridiculous “I could probably author a thesis on this now” research we tend to do, literally just take 30 minutes to watch a documentary. Plenty of good ones out before 2008.

Cade: Research makes your fics sooooo much better, trust us, readers.

Aziz: Well, anyway... with that out of the way...

To be continued!

#fallen #aziz #cade #sporking

[flauntpage]

Biscuits! Lozo and DGB on Vegas Expansion, Bad Deals Waiting to Happen

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports Canada.

The following is from an email exchange between Dave Lozo and Sean McIndoe (Down Goes Brown). Each month they will talk some nonsense and debate the biggest topics in the NHL in our monthly review. You can also check out the Biscuits podcast with Sean and Dave as they discuss the events of the week.

Hi Dave...

Welcome to summer. After eight months of hockey, the season is over and we're officially on to the offseason. And in theory, it should be an especially entertaining one. With an expansion draft less than a week away and a bunch of trades, buyouts and other maneuvering that presumably has to happen before then, we could be looking at one of the busier weeks in recent history.

So my first question is: Am I just getting my hopes up here? Is there any chance the next week lives up to the hype?

---

Lozo: The next week will be a lot like the Ottawa Senators in the playoffs. It will involve a lot average players in the spotlight getting a lot of attention but ultimately it will let you down in the end. Remember the Teravainen/Bickell trade? Packaging a good player with a bad deal? That'll be the height of it. A bunch of those moves. A couple buyouts. A non-expansion trade that will be decent.

Marc-Andre Fleury going to Vegas should be the biggest expansion story, but there's no way the Knights hang on to him, right? They have to flip him to Calgary or somewhere else.

---

DGB: The cynic in me wonders if the whole "Marc-Andre Fleury is the greatest teammate ever" victory tour that's broken out over the past few days might at least be a partial case of the Penguins working to create a market. Sure, his numbers aren't great, but if he's Mark Messier in goalie gear, surely some team that values heart and grit over performance would be willing to pay up. And yes, that team would be Calgary.

The flip side is that the Penguins have four decent defensemen and probably only three protection slots. So it's plausible that they decide to just let the Knights take Fleury so that they don't have to worry about the rest of their roster. I guess it all comes down to where they can find the most value.

Speaking of value, or whatever the opposite of value would be: Dan Girardi. The Rangers announced they are buying him out. You're a New York guy... is this remotely a surprise?

---

Lozo: Not in the least. Girardi hasn't been good in quite some time and Rangers fans will wonder forever if they could have contended again in 2015 if they had let Girardi walk and signed Anton Stralman instead. I mean, they contended. They got to a conference final Game 7 and lost to the Lightning… and Stralman.

There's a great teammate vibe about Girardi, too. But while Fleury had value, Girardi hasn't had value since maybe 2014. Girardi is the poster boy for the new NHL in terms of defenseman who can start breakouts and analytics. It's funny that Girardi types are being phased out of the game faster than fighters.

Now the Rangers have freed some more room for Kevin Shattenkirk, who should help carry the Rangers to maybe the second round again.

You know what's weird? The notion the Preds can't lose James Neal. If it creates room to sign a No. 2 center, that's good because they need that more than a scoring winger.

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DGB: I'm guess I'm OK with the Predators thing only because their season just ended, and they came so close to winning the Cup. If anyone should be allowed to overrate their existing assets, it's probably them.

But yeah, the rest of this league is getting ridiculous. All these GMs who are about to lose their 14th best player and seem to think it's the end of the world. You know how many players each team lost in the 1967 expansion draft? Twenty! Each! I am using exclamation points! Today's GMs don't have to make trades and get magic bonus points for losing, and somehow they're still here having panic attacks because they might have to part with Jay Beagle.

In related news, Tyler Graovac just got traded, so buckle up because now anything can happen.

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Lozo: I own a Graovac. It's great for big spills and sucking up crumbs between the couch cushions.

Glad we were doing this for that trade but what about what is now the second-biggest news of the day? The Habs have spotted the problem and now working on the trade that will solve their issues—getting rid of Alex Galchenyuk.

The Habs are PlayNow and Marc Bergevin is George Costanza. First the Subban trade and now he's looking to move Galchenyuk. You can't tell me he's not trying to get himself fired so he can collect his entire contract instead of a severance. If he deals Carey Price for Fleury the world will know I'm right.

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DGB: Ha, Price for Fleury, good one. That would be a terrible deal for Montreal, and the only reason Bergevin would ever consider it is because Fleury is a leader and has two Cups and is french and oh my God he's going to do it, isn't he?

Marc Bergevin, a man you can count on to make a bad deal. Photo by Graham Hughes/The Canadian Press

The weird thing with Galchenyuk is that Montreal seems absolutely convinced that he can't play center, even though his numbers there have been pretty good. He's only 23, so you'd figure they might want to give him some time to settle into the position. But apparently they've seen enough, and since they need help at center and he apparently can't play there, he's the trade bait to get a top-six guy.

The other rumor going around today was a Galchenyuk-for-Jonathan-Drouin trade with the Habs potentially kicking in a first. That would be some kind of trade, although Drouin isn't a center so it doesn't seem like a fit. Maybe Montreal just thinks everyone in the league is playing the wrong position.

Other than Montreal, which team is the most likely to make a terrible decision over the next week or two?

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Lozo: Yeah, it's gonna be a great day in 2018 when someone in Montreal writes, without a hit of irony, that the Canadiens need a No. 1 D and C to build around.

I could see George McPhee getting fleeced. When in doubt, look to the guy who fired Bruce Boudreau and traded Filip Forsberg for Martin Erat. He will take on a bad contract but not get enough along with it. Or he will choose the wrong guys off teams. Or he won't get enough in trades for guys he flips. McPhee feels like a lock for about five bad moves.

Also Boston. The Bruins will screw up something.

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DGB: Pencil me in for the Avalanche not getting enough for Matt Duchene but feeling like they have to trade him anyway. Plus anyone who trades for Brent Seabrook. (If that team ends up being the Maple Leafs, you will never see me on this site again because I will have quit caring about hockey forever.)

Speaking of trades, according to Pierre Lebrun, the NHL has asked all 31 teams to make sure that none of the trades they might make with Vegas leak out before next Wednesday. Help me find the logic in this. It should go without saying that you want to prevent the actual expansion picks from leaking out—we covered this in the early days of the podcast. But wouldn't you want fans to hear about trades in advance? Isn't that the appetizer that gets everyone even more excited for the big reveal? I know I say this a lot, but I don't understand what the NHL is thinking here.

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Lozo: If there's a way for the NHL to shoot itself in the face, the NHL will find a way. I guess it's a competitive edge thing for Vegas, but wouldn't the other teams not want Vegas to have that edge and then leak things out? Like, say if I'm a team that made a deal to shed a bad contract and it feels like I paid a lot for them to take that contract, wouldn't I want that price out there so my competitors pay it?

Also, I too want to choose the Duchene thing. That's going to happen.

But back to the Vegas thing, I guess the thinking is fans get to spend Sunday-Wednesday playing around with protected lists, and that's their fun. Then they see the reveal and it's like the lottery drawing and you can see how many players you got right. And now that I'm typing here, we should do that. A contest where you see the protected lists, then guess at the roster with trades that you think will happen, too.

This stuff will all leak anyway.

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DGB: Right, but that's exactly it. If I see my favorite team's protected list and spend three days obsessing over who they'll lose, only to find out they cut a side deal a week ago that I never heard about, I've just been strung along. I don't feel like "Hey, what a fun reveal"—I feel like I wasted my time.

If it's about helping Vegas, well, it's not the league's job to help one team over the rest of the league. And if it's about protecting GMs from finding out they paid more on a side deal than some other team did, then it's yet another case of the league being more worried about the feelings of their GMs than about their own fans. I can't figure out an option where it makes any sense.

Other than the face-shooting thing. I should probably just go with that one. Occam's Raisin and all that.

Speaking of side deals we'll never hear about because the NHL hates us, my favorite rumor is the one that has the Knights agreeing to take David Clarkson in exchange for a first-round pick and/or top prospect. Are there any other realistic scenarios where McPhee and the Knights can get a first-round pick from someone? Maybe the Ducks and their blueline?

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Lozo: They can get a lot of first rounders, I think. I will be the first person to use bullet points in one of these exchanges to show why and how this can happen.

1. It's a weak draft. Teams won't be clinging to them.

b. If you're a win-now team with a bad deal and late pick, you could package those to entice Vegas.

iii. If you have too many good players, you can use a first rounder to get Vegas to not pick your Vatanen or Neal.

If I'm McPhee, I'm punting this year and doing everything to stockpile picks like it's the Bay of Pigs and I'm filling up the bomb shelter with canned goods.

Wait, we are sorta living in a modern time version of this. I'll update the metaphor later.

How about we are this deep into one of our engrossing conversations and we haven't talked about Ilya Kovalchuk coming back yet? We saw what Alex Radulov could do and there doesn't seem to be any excitement about getting a player that was better than Radulov back in the NHL.

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DGB: I wonder if fans are a little worn out on the Kovalchuk story, since we've heard rumors of him coming back pretty much every year since he left. There seems to be way more smoke this time around, but it could be a "believe it when I see it" type of thing. Still, if it's confirmed that he's really back this time, that should make for a fascinating trade watch. Between this and the first pick, the Devils have a real chance to remake their team.

Let's close with one more offseason question. One year ago, we would have said it was unlikely that PK Subban or Taylor Hall would get traded, and that Shea Weber being dealt was outright impossible. A few days later, they'd all be moved. Who would you pick as this year's superstar that doesn't seem like he could be dealt, but ends up getting moved in a blockbuster at some point?

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Lozo: Patrick Kane. He's young and in his prime but the Blackhawks are in cap jail (they get locked up every other year) and Kane is, well, garbage. Trade him while he has value and isn't currently being investigated for any felonies.

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DGB: Wow. You're not messing around. I thought I was going to be going out on a limb with my John Tavares take, but now that seems kind of wimpy.

Could we see another offseason of blockbuster trades? Photo by Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

Any last thoughts before we wrap this up, hit send, and immediately hear about four major trades that make the entire thing outdated and unprintable?

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Lozo: I'll just cover some possible bases so the news doesn't make this outdated:

1. That secret video footage of referees partying with the Penguins at the parade is really damaging to the NHL.

2. David Poile convincing PK Subban to have his voice box removed is crazy and sets a bad precedent.

3. Jaromir Jagr agreeing to terms with Vegas is great.

4. Carey Price asking for a trade is the best thing for him.

Biscuits! Lozo and DGB on Vegas Expansion, Bad Deals Waiting to Happen published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv