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romulanslutempire · 8 months

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So, in editing this stupidly long — 08:56, to be specific — Sera and Manu vid that’s set across the multitimelineverse, I’ve been getting a few more concrete ideas from the footage I’ve maniped together for my current verses, including the convoluted, but dearly beloved (to me), Destroyer of Worlds, which is essentially an AU of an AU, following on from A Quality of Mercy with Admiral Pike making the terrible decision™ to wake Khan after encountering the Botony Bay instead of Captain Kirk, hoping he will join their cause, which… he does, except it offsets an even darker timeline that was never supposed to exist.

From there I’ve basically cannibalised a bunch of “Bad Future” bits and bobs across various Trek and a few other sources with a dash of inspiration from the Mirror Universe as well. But all of that is a TL;DR post for another time.

Anyway, back to Sera and Manu, I was trying to figure out where to put their first meeting and incorporate him into the verse in general — Sera I already solidly have a complete arc for. And now I’m inclined to have it occur after she’s exiled by La’an after their biggest bust up yet (the girlies will stop fighting eventually, but La’an at this point is still forever salty about alt!Kirk with no interest in amends) from the ISS Puget Sound II.

[ Insert that Krinn quote here about pride and downfall being the natural evolution of it. ]

Sera then sarcastic Vulcan salutes her way back onto her shuttle with the intention of going after Khan by herself (third time’s the charm, right?) but a navigational glitch puts her in Gorn space instead.

Enter Manu Noonien-Singh, AKA the planetary nursery MVP, best big brother, Gorn hunter, Lewis Tan looking fine and divine, ritual schmitual, Mr. Brawn and Brains.

He saves her from becoming lizard chow and welcomes her aboard his stolen starship the Wrath, and I figure they have a few adventures of their own together on their way back to Deep Space 19, which is Resistance HQ, since that’s literally the only “home” Sera has left, along with one of the few safe spaces in the Quadrant for non-Humans.

And that’s very much a midway point where they both then get involved on the space station with Admiral James Insane-Middle-Name Kirk, which is awkward for Sera. For. So. Many. Reasons. Even though this James is not the James she pew pew’d with an antique.

Long conversation short with myself, it’s a good solid place to establish more canon with them, and with Manu and Sera both essentially being independent there’s also the capacity for them to go off-station for missions as and when they’re needed.

And then, obviously, at some point, La’an will be back, and that’s where the aforementioned in previous musings Echo/Bellamy/Octavia style arc comes in to play, followed by eventual actual forgiveness instead of their dynamic being teeth clenched teamwork under the mutual agreement “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

The sparring scene from The 100 says it all for how I visualise it initially going with Octavia/La’an being like, “No, I will not forgive this murderer for something she did [X] amount of years ago, alternate timeline or not.” And Bellamy/Manu being like, “I’m not justifying it, but who she was then is not who she is now.”

Additional Manu/Sera adventures and notes include:

An encounter with the Augments who inform Khan that not one but two of his descendants are still alive… and both of them are working for the Resistance.

Introducing each other to different beverages: Manu to kali-fal and Sera to tea practice.

Hanging out in the holosuite.

Intimate exchanges of truths.

Manu being captured by the Orion Syndicate and forced into an underground fighting ring. Sera then has to get the green body paint out to infiltrate the arena to rescue him.

Manu imparting his knowledge about the Gorn to Sera, including how to interpret their light signals.

Manu learning about Romulan culture to better understand her.

Manu becoming the one person in the world that Sera trusts implicitly.

Manu thinking Sera’s ears are elegant and pretty.

Rescuing a group of refugees from a Gorn breeding planet.

Sera eventually giving Manu her true name (and heart).

Sera giving Manu a crash course in (old) Earth history, including memes and the best of Toronto cuisine, to make up for his lost youth on the breeding planet.

Sera teaching Manu how to read, write, and speak Romulan, only to be surprised by how quickly he picks it up. (What? He’s good with his tongue.)

Stopping the Serene Squall after they raid a Resistance supply ship carrying essential dilithium for the cause.

Training together and showing each other new moves from their respective fighting styles.

#*#verse: destroyer of worlds #tl;dr w/ myself #also a reminder that i do at some point need to outline this verse properly and make a timeline for it #because i’ve added and changed a few things since it’s inception #i’ll consider it a goal for when i’ve finished this goddamn vid #ship: sera x manu #ship: manu x sera

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erabundus · 1 year

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if i answer ... ten asks today ... i will allow myself to buy another enamel pin.

#𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. ◟ ooc .◝#tbd .#( posting this to be held accountable )#( also as a heads up i may spontaneously reply to something you sent 87 years go SKJSDK )#( i still have asks from a meme i reblogged a week ago that i'd like to get to )#( I'M SORRY i reply to everything at a snails pace )#( if i ever don't respond to something pls don't take it as a lack of interest or gratitude )#( 100% it is on me & my brain is horribly fickle w/ what it wants to cooperate with )#( if we are mutuals pls know i think you're very cool & want to interact very much )#( if i'm out here liking your posts imagine that's me waving & admiring your brain from afar DSKJSK i am testing the waters )#( ANYWAY tl;dr i'm bribing myself with wanderer pins to write let's see how this goes )

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gailynovelry · 24 days

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Diversity win! The world was created through yuri.

#are we shitposting about HoR again? yes #tl;dr the Romne (and Rhimn) were brought into being by two of the original six creation goddesses (Nyatari and Daimir)#Gardhe just came from Lykari tho #The Romne are older than him #Lykari looked at the Romne and was like “but what if I did that by myself” and then she did <3 #secondary aromanticism win there #well maybe not a win in ultimate outcome since we all know what Gardhe is like #Alluari’s relationship w/ the Romne is “these are my sister’s sad little failchildren who are very good at not dying”#love me some weird pantheon familial dynamics #and. yeah. them being related doesn’t make Gardhe any less willing to kill them no #also via reincarnation shenanigans Silamir is sort of the Romne’s half sister??

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rube-too-many-fandoms · 8 months

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(Vent post; a bit of a downer, nothing too intense, just some self pity.)

(…Maybe don’t read if you don’t want to have a mental awakening about how sad simping really is.)

i have no social life

i have ONE friend that i consider a sibling

they have a job and friends outside of school

and the deeper i hyperfixate the more i realize how lonely i am. like wtf

i feel like i’ve betrayed myself

they’re here gushing about their real life crush and how they’re going on a date and quitting their job to work somewhere else

while i’m over here emerging from my little hermit shell gushing about people that don’t exist with bags under my eyes from staying up til 2 AM every night watching YouTube or scrolling tumblr

don’t get me wrong, i love tumblr so much, but when interacting with/making posts is the most social interaction i’ve had in weeks, i think there might be a problem

then after all of this self-reflection my ADD makes it hard to retain the attention span to improve my nonexistent social life

and the rest of my brain cells go “hyperfixation fun” and “characters pretty” and “tumblr funny”

fucking instant gratification monkey fr

#TL;DR: I’m having a crisis bc I have no social life and surround myself w/ people who don’t exist.#it’s kind of like unrequited love bc the people i love don’t exist and can’t love me back.#i’m terminal. my diagnosis is hyperfixation #i feel so out of control. should i seek professional help?#this all dawned upon me in the span of 10 minutes #and now i am sad. probably won’t last long though; attention deficit disorder and all #I’m okay; not depressed or anything. just realized I am the human equivalent of a hermit crab #it’s like realizing the cake is a lie. except it’s the people i surround myself with. who don’t exist #ruby’s posts #instant gratification #vent blog #attention deficit disorder (add)#attention deficit disorder #hyperfixation #autism #undiagnosed autistic #undiagnosed autism #diagnosed add #autistic #instant gratification monkey #introvert #autistic behavior #terminally introverted #terminally hyperfixated #terminal instant gratification #neurodivergent #neurospicy

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greyias · 1 year

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Hey guys, does anyone know if there’s an autorun mod for kotor2 (similar to how if you press a key in SWTOR you don’t have to hold down the w key?) or some way to get the game to do that easily? I don’t see it in the controls anywhere and my Google-fu is failing me

#tl;dr may have given myself a rsi on my left index finger??#how i do not know #it’s better this morning after a night of rest but am trying to avoid typing on a big keyboard at the moment #it may be gone by saturday but having to hold down the w key #all night might exacerbate it #so i’m hoping to find a way to mitigate that without skipping a week

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bilbao-song · 1 year

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going through life perpetually disgusted by Mouth Things doesn’t rlly sound like it would be a huge issue but it comes up sooo frustratingly often for me and i’m routinely shocked that everyone isn’t like this

#like even just the idea that ppl kiss with the tongue involved is so alarming to me #i’m not judging!!! do whatever u do!!!!! but i cannot relate #i can’t even look at myself in the mirror while i brush my teeth or i’ll start gagging. if that tells u anything #and it’s like. a combination of all sensory factors too #when i was in middle school i had a computer lab w this one kid who would make Mouth Noises like the whoooole class period #and i just wanted to set myself on fire #idk tl;dr i just think it’s wild i can kind of handle blood but saliva is where i draw the line #nightmare career: dentist #nonsense rambling

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miutonium · 2 years

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I need to go to sleep but shhh I suddenly have the urge to kiss Utonium and I started thinking about them in college again haha.

Anyway, I already talked briefly about how their first kiss went but shh I'm starting to think about another scenario that doesnt involve Utonium being a clumsy dude hsksksk anywayy I imagine that they probably had their first kiss at a Science Museum.

Usually, for their dates, Utonium always plan his dates to be somewhere Chloe wants to go or somewhere he knows she would enjoy. Chloe doesnt really force Utonium to pick places she wants, in fact, she doesn't even plan at all. Utonium is always in charge of the planning. And she feels guilty about it because she doesn't like the feeling that Utonium has to listen to her all the time just to please her. So one day she tells him they should go somewhere that he wants and she will agree to it whether she likes it or not. Initially, Utonium is pretty sceptical in about going to places he's unsure if she would like, and the last thing he want is for them to argue over something miniscule (honestly they won't, Utonium is just being a worrywart lol). But Chloe assured him it's fine and its time for him to bring her somewhere other than their usual spot so he suggested that they should go to somewhere he wants to revisit: Townsville Science Museum.

They didn't book any slots and decided to walk in praying there would be a slot and surprisingly when they arrived, the museum is almost practically void of visitors since it's the weekdays. And luckily there's no school tour on schedule either so they can walk inside freely without any kids screaming and running.

Utonium already been to the museum a few times before (although the last time he went there was when he was in junior high) so he already knows what to expect inside, prehistoric exhibition, modern times exhibition, space, physics, all that science crap. Despite that, he still loves walking inside reading the info cards and be mesmerised by the exhibition there. Chloe never really went there before so he's excited about showing her around and became her tour guide. During his past time, he loves reading books especially science trivia books since he was a child so he used the info that somehow plastered into memory and mention them whenever he thinks it's related to the info cards and samples they're reading;

"Hmm, prehistoric air smells like farts, no wonder the dinosaurs died."

"Well the fart smell is because of bacteria byproducts around that time. It releases carbon dioxide and hydrogen sulfide whenever they 'eat'"

"Huh, I expect it to be pure oxygen to be honest."

"Pure oxygen is actually quite toxic to us. The air we're breathing right now is a compound of other gases.

"....So are we breathing farts now?"

"Well, not now but sure if you go for egg salad at the canteen"

It might be because she's bias and he's her boyfriend but Chloe really enjoyed having Utonium walking her around each hall while he excitedly talks about Science. Partially because she learned a lot from him but mostly because she loves seeing him talking passionately about things he likes while beaming with joy. She sees how good he is at attracting her attention towards something she used to considered lame and thought how nice it is to have him change other's mind about science and make it sound fun. So she encouraged him to ask if they have any part time job as a tour guide inside the museum. I like to think he did get the job and ended up spending his 2nd year of Uni working with kids on school tour showing them cool chemistry tricks and spilling trivia while he walks them through every hall. And I like to think that's how he started having interest on teaching people and wanted to become a Professor.

I wrote about them stargazing before and I thought it would be really neat to tie them up here (although I probably write about it briefly cuz I mentioned the whole thing in my prev hc lol) As they were checking out the space hall, Utonium noticed how her eyes glued to the constellation on the walls but her face looks more bewildered than curious which earned a questioned look from him:

"Why'd you look so concerned?"

"Constellations are real?????"

And Utonium laughed and had to explain to her that they're real and in the end after the talk he promised her they'll go stargazing one day after finding out she never go for those trips before.

Luckily, there seem to have a planetarium scheduled every 30 mins so he suggested they should go inside.

When they're seated and the show started, Utonium couldn't help himself but gaze at Chloe, falling more deeply in love with her while she has her eyes locked on the ceiling looking at the stars in awe. There's never a day where he doesn't have those warm fuzzy feelings in his chest whenever he thinks about her, she's live in his mind basicly rent free since 73' but somehow he feels a bit extra sappy for her, maybe he's at the place he loves, maybe it's because he's able to talk about things he loves to the person he loves so dearly without any worries or anyone belittling him, or maybe it's Chloe believing in his goal and passion and gave him a little push today to encourage him spreading his love of science for others. There's too much in his mind right now yet there's nothing in his mind at the same time whilst he looked at her through half lidded eyes intoxicated by his feelings for her. And Chloe is clueless about his inner thoughts and him looking at her so softly and lovingly in the dimmed theatre.

When the narration starts to mention the audience being possibly the brightest star despite a very brief moment in the Galaxy, Chloe turns her head to look at Utonium only to notice him been staring at her for the past minutes with a soft smile on his face. Usually, she's always so quick to tease him about staring just to make him flushed but today, maybe she got caught up in the moment just like him and peered into his starry eyes lovingly. She had nothing to say when they locked eyes in adoration and even more so when Utonium's hands cupped her cheeks gingerly, pushing away a strand of rogue hair from her eyes before he sealed her lips with a soft kiss. When he pulls away, he suddenly feels a bit afraid that he pushed too far and was about to apologize, but when Chloe returns his feelings, her hand brushing his face slowly before returning his kiss, he knows she feels the same way about him and glad he made the first move.

There's approximately 200 billions, trillions of stars above them, yet both of them shines the brightest at that brief moment of time. And he still believes she's his brightest star til this day ;w;

#i never been to any planetarium before and im going to put that in my bucket list #maybe alone I dont see myself dating anyone lol #going to the science museum alone is very fun though! i did it twice and it was really fun!#the one that I went to have space and prehistoric diorama inside and its really cool to try out running in 0 gravity treadmill pants #and prehistoric air does smell like farts lol #anyway oof yes i initially wanted them tonhave their first kiss during new year #but its kinda cliche to me and I want it to be related to something he likes ;w;#tl;dr : me just wann kissy from nerdy boyfriend 🤧🤧🤧🥺#jsyk its hard for me to type all of this both of my index finger cuz i broke my thumb nail but i will sacrifice my hand for my brainrot #ok i will go to sleep now goodnight #asuka speaks #selfship #selfshipping #selfship community #selfshipping community #self insert oc #selfship headcanons #professor utonium #ppg professor #you had me at hello 📝

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

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with the recent like self-analytical framework of [putting hand on own shoulder] "are you looking for the external validation of value in this which would never be guaranteed, and you don't even think it should be contingent on this anyways" it's like, that also speaks more to like "yeah i did really enjoy live performance / theatre-adjacent and -overlapping stuff"

like i have my sense of how much i loved things and none of that involves any memories of having enjoyed it b/c of any feedback i got, from peers or instructors or anything. memories of curtain calls don't stand out much. like fun Specific Feedback was a kind older (relative to me) performer with the central role telling me that my literal leaping onstage (dance performance. grande jete entrance) despite a technical difficulty that would have to be improvised around was Inspirational/Motivating lol. i stopped having any particular stage fright (although is that when you're onstage? more like, anxiety beforehand about messing up. being onstage was the easier, enjoyable part) thanks to just having to yolo through those technical difficulties lol....anyways and then that same show actually, some relative to me younger audience member's dad was like "she's your (role's) biggest fan" and we nervously take a pic together lol. these things were fun & standout but Not Even It; not at all like "this is what makes it all worth it" like this is largely beside the point but a fun little bonus outlier event or two

like there was also no "i loved it b/c of Being In A Cast" nor b/c of any particular like, hanging out having fun Social Element. i loved rehearsing, though. loved being backstage (or in green rooms, or dressing rooms) but not because of any particular company or goings on. loved waiting & practicing / warming up & getting things together like your own costuming & being summoned to backstage & whatall. loved all the technical elements of getting a show together, when things were being assembled / worked out, though i didn't get to have much of any active hand b/c i'm like this twelve year old just learning the part, but it was fun to witness. none of my sense of what contributed to having a great time entailed any particular praise or anything; there was some implicitness in how all at once i graduated from [ensemble performance, back row for tall people] to [roles with solos] and the like, but there was just like, being busy, doing things well enough that it just wasn't Impeding anything lol, and in other arenas where i might've gotten more comments about being like, an outlier per whatever measure of success, it was definitely like, it's all just [successfully avoided negative attention] and ofc people think good grades are good but i'm not particularly moved by the awareness that that in turn is what's good or impressive about me, or something. or that i have to have anything like that for [successfully avoided negative attention]

and i wouldn't have like, done a monologue to an empty room and been like wow magical. i'd do my thing for rehearsal, and then for an audience, but you can't really see the audience and you're like ten doing local ten year old recreational stuff so it's like, the curtain calls you don't remember much (by you i mean me) and then you're done, and for me it was the fun of just like Everything Before. no like classic memories montage of great times socializing, it was me sitting in the green room equivalent, me warming up in the hallway, enjoying being in an auditorium for like 7 hrs of rehearsal, etc, we didn't do any like social events like high school performance afterparties or anything; i wasn't like Friends w/even the occasional person i also knew from school, and that didn't matter or diminish things in the least. performing A Show and for whatever Audience and that abstract is completely good enough. any of my parents' involvement, unavoidable b/c i couldn't even get places without being driven, was a major downside; i didn't like any like post performance [congrats] from them b/c that stuff was just its own unconstructive Performance that you, by which i mean me, were required to be sufficiently like Oh Wow about when it's like, the focused attention from you here means i want to leave; being left all amongst other adults during rehearsals was the good shit, while it also wasn't the case i needed like support or hype from any of those adults either.

there was Some tradition of like, older students in some program who'd take a trip to nyc / do some performance or other, and that seemed exciting but it stopped existing before it could be relevant to me lol. also for the first like, show that was like "audition for parts" vs "class recitals" they gave us like a relevant keepsake for it, and that was a nice surprise, since i had a great experience and all. and one of my main [not dance, with lines and everything] experiences being this fourth grade english class scenes from julius caesar, auditioned again, i'm like hell yeah that this has to be nongendered b/c it's all a bunch of guys, so i play a guy, and an antagonist yippee who doesn't die midway through and sounds easy-peasy to be like [be the dictator assassin] lol. it's funny how already i Cared about like, wish we had Effects instead of awkward silence for the drama of that assassination. wish i like, knew fuckall about acting. but the teacher just focused on telling us all to talk louder b/c nobody could be individually mic'd, and in the end you really couldn't hear fuckall of other performances so that was a win. and we got to do it twice b/c some people's parents got stuck in traffic. all i remember of my parents' presence was being like "omg yes i get to stop being here talking to you b/c we get to do that Again hell yeah"

like it's social but in a Parallel way. i'm contributing my part, i know my role, you know yours, i'm fondly remembering sitting in some school lobby having mini muffins with hours to go before our performance, amongst other people but not at all hyped abt interactions with them or at all disappointed abt the absence of any. i enjoyed it all being in front of people, others involved in the show, or the audience, but i wasn't there for any specific feedback, just being Part of that group constructed experience there. truly this case of like....loved all of that exactly as it happened, was on my own shit, did not need any external validation, didn't need a specific kind of Socializing that's supposed to look like having individual interactions with personal friends, had this passion for it that i also was having a perfectly good time exploring on my own, whilest also enjoying working with / learning from whatever instruction i got. like sure wishing i knew fuckall about acting but that it turns out no not everyone necessarily all loves stage acting as The Peak like that, and this comfort and interest with it that comes from like, you have all the practice of Having to perform and mask and act in life against your supposed incorrect abnormalities, but here's this constructive and creative and expansive edition of that art and science. good enough for doing it all through like fourteen

#the like metanalysis i'm applying to the wynnstannery journey meanwhile....a multifaceted like Oh Yeah I See places hand on surface #tl;dr like yeah i would love to do theatre in w/e ways and i would truly enjoy my experience completely in its own right. b/c i Have....#stopped dance when i was fourteen coz knee hurty; gender hurty; parental involvement hurty; was going into college and was like will i even #have time for dance stuff? like yeah maybe but i didn't know it & figured i'd probably be forever busy & fail out anyways. took a break.#and that first year there was some delightful The Shakespearean Theater Just Down The Street also theatre adjacent class experiences #which was just More expansive & More evidence like yes i love all this shit a lotttt thanks #however at this juncture like; oh you Can audition for school theatre & even get there by yourself #didn't want family to know & come; didn't want to be alongside ppl who Did have all this high school experience and even if they didn't #were older so just probably at all better at shit lol. also my roommate had a lot of theatre interest & experience so i would've felt #awkward or out of place. like i do Not want to have to be really socially connected or like be criticized on some As Personal Acquaintances #supposed helpful basis lol. was sort of peripherally eventually [theatre doers] socially involved but eh #i had fun helping out with behind the scenes stuff Sometimes; or just hanging out in that arena #but i didn't make friends really & the true Downgrade was feeling like i was supposed to be / Had to be #one of those cases even when it's like ''yeah for some people they let you be around peripherally b/c you're the butt of the joke''#like yeah great lmfao This Isn't It....but then going off oneself to some pwyw shakespeare show where you don't know what's going on but #that's not even required to enjoy it and Live Theatre and hell yeah babey. the actors were all whole adults & professionals & kind #like for me the social aspect is [when you're In A Show there's more afforded ''you're allowed to be here''] lol & that's it.#i like being around people but i like being there ''by myself.'' i can enjoy spontaneous; fleeting interactions contained in that moment #i don't need or even want those to Lead To Something That ''Actually Matters'' like an ongoing personal friendship or w/e #i enjoy those interactions in their own right; interacting in the capacity of both doing Show Tasks in their own right #i enjoy being in these Performances and Rehearsals in their own right & All The Enjoyment Was Already There.#i never needed or particularly looked for Especial Feedback from any sources. there needed to be an audience but that presence Was It.#i was engaged & enriched & interested in my own right. all very clear and clearly Genuine #vs whatever i was recognized as especially Good At or what i would just kind of do / was supposed to do but it's like; eh #or just otherwise like yeah i like some of this; but not nearly as much; &/or there clearly aren't ways to engage w/it in ways that i #actually want to or enjoy. i loved having a part but never needed it to be like Solo or the Main part. when i was doing & had done the #performing in rehearsals or shows like That Was It; that was what was fun. didn't anticipate or need the least Especial Feedback #just knowing like yeah that's the good shit. this is a real Passion that i enjoyed w/o ever needing anything ''more'' / external validation #wahoo....and the inherent value & relevance in just Knowing of that fact lol. wasn't always clear to me like yeah we all love that shit #in just the way that i did; right. like lol maybe not exactly and not always; actually.

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pyrodigy · 2 years

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its really just my luck that we’d get tomo crumbs right before a diluc event

#⌜ ooc ⌟#i should be getting so hyped for my main muse but that cursed nameless samurai has me in a chokehold #i think i will scrap all my other blogs and just keep those two #theyre clearly the characters im most mused up for... as much as i would have liked to explore those other four on their blogs as well #i can save them for private writings and speculations w close friends #i gotta also be honest with myself and accept that i just cannot realistically juggle that many blogs/muses regardless #so i might as well just keep the ones i physically cannot let go of. and be a little less strict with myself there #i know i keep saying this but ive been itching to write again so much. adult life is just so draining for me #i do feel like i am getting marginally better at managing it every day though #the only reason its not apparent here is that i really am exercising self-control in not prioritizing rp over anything i shouldnt #lest i repeat severe past mistakes #tl;dr expect a tiny overhaul here + on tomo in the coming days #nothing major definitely not another reboot just. loosening up my own rules a bit so i have room to have fun with my boys (gender neutral)#tag rant

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earthnashes · 1 year

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We interrupt this artposting program to bring you the super rare progress photos of ya homey. :)

Generally I don’t like posting photos of myself, partly cuz I just don’t wanna (not the best selfie taker, what can I say) and partly cuz this blog is almost entirely my artstuff, but since I do wanna talk about my weightlifting journey sometimes I figured I’d make an exception every now and then. ;w;

More detail under the cut, but for the TL;DRs:

Fitness goal anniversary celebration. 2 years + some change in the making. Initial goals: fatloss, strengthbuilding, repair relationship with food

RED TOP PHOTOS: 220-ish lbs, 33-36% BMI, 2021

PINK AND BACK PHOTOS: 175lbs, 27-28% BMI, 2023

Current notes: Overall healthier and happier in my own body. Food relationship vastly improved. Noticeably stronger, higher energy, and much better asthma management

This one is to essentially celebrate the progress I’ve made thus far! A little late, but last month was my fitness journey’s anniversary. It’s been roughly 2 years since I started being physically active, and 1 year + some months since I’ve consistently weight-trained.

That first pair of photos was me I thiiiiiink like 2 months into the start of all this, back in 2021? I weighed roughly 220-ish lbs at the time, BMI roughly 33-35% and I only note this because fatloss was very much a part of my overarching goals. I won’t lie, some of it was because of aesthetics, but a lot of it was because I felt like shit. As someone who was very sporty as a kid up til college, the change was very noticeable. I was ALWAYS tired no matter how much I slept. I had constant back pain and headaches. My biggest tipoff was the fact that my asthma management got worse. All that plus other factors is what really kicked my butt into gear into this journey.

The 2nd and 3rd sets of photos are from this year (2nd set was today, 3rd set was like 2 weeks ago), nearly 50lbs lighter and at a rough BMI of 27-28%. And I can’t lie I feel fuckin’ good. I can do pullups (couldn’t even do 1 back in the day). Pushups are fucking easy now. I can bench my own bodyweight. I can deadlift almost twice that. I don’t wheeze when I walk up the stairs, I take regular walks, I sleep better, my energy levels are far higher, my moods are overall far better, I have no backpain anymore... MY AFRO GREW AND I GOTS A TATTOO! :D

This is probably the strongest and healthiest I’ve ever been and that’s saying something in my eyes, all things considering. And it was fuckin’ hard for a variety of reasons I won’t talk your ears off about. Sometimes still is, but I feel more prepared and even eager at times to deal with the obstacles.

But yeah! Apologies for breaking from the arts and headcanons, I just wanted to be a lil proud of myself for a sec. :) Whatever journey ya’ll are on I hope you find it in yourself to be proud of the progress you’ve made as well, even with all the ups and downs! :>

#weightlifting #powerlifting #ash talks #earthsong talks

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twstunes · 8 months

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(slight spoilers for Book 7, tho i take it a lot of us have seen Hornton's overblot form + mama Draconia's design at this point lmao. also i'm calling her Draconimom until we get a confirmed eng spelling for her name)

Overblot mask analysis – Malleus + Dark Mirror v2

it's probably been brought up already but i'm gonna be annoyed w/ myself if i leave overblot hornton out of my overblot mask analyses, it's pretty straightforward overall but STILL

Similar to Vil, the main body of Malleus' mask takes on the shape of a cowl, echoing that of Maleficent's own headgear. This widow's peak-esque shape was already present in the design of Malleus' forehead scales (which aren't normally visible), but the mask better emulates Maleficent by bringing the point down closer to the brow line.

The central V of the mask has a fiery exterior trim; on closer inspection, the "flames" appear to be made solely of shapes based on Malleus' (and Maleficent's) horns. In comparison, the motifs on the further edges of the mask seem to be just basic fire patterns.

Arcs of spikes & scales make up both the interior trim of the mask and the portion connecting to Malleus' eyes. These directly mimic the spines and purple underbelly of Maleficent's dragon form. (The scales on his cheekbones don't correlate to any part of Maleficent's face, humanoid or dragon, and are likely there just to complement this part of the mask.)

Of note is the spiked line extending from the peak of the mask down over Malleus' nasal bone. Rather than representing part of Maleficent's face design, it appears to take after a different source–

–the main body of the mask is literally his mom's crown. which hurts a bit! own it tho ig, like hey if he's gonna be under so much pressure due to being prince then he might as well get an overblot mask to represent that. "heavy is the head that wears the crown," etc

Anyway this is like a field day for me bc Draconimom's design is literally so fantastic to analyze. I'm getting hit with the urge to make diagrams. Do u realize how rarely this happens

1. The horns? The horns. I don't think I have to go over this one again. However, the little bumps near the horns on the mask could signify the two…ear guards(?) of the crown.

2. The upper two curved prongs lined w/ dots and spikes on the Dark Mirror's mask match up strikingly well with Draconimom's pauldrons! The lower two prongs bend in the opposite direction, and seem to be there just to balance out the top pair.

3. Like the tattered edges of Maleficent's robes, the lacy edges of her cape could easily be compared to the fiery edges on the upper half of the mask. Comparatively, the frills along the bottom of the mask are distinctly rounder and less flame-like, which matches up well with the softer, almost fluffy-looking edges of Draconimom's skirt. The netting on the mask could then, logically, represent the fabric of the cape/skirt as though they're being dramatically flared out.

(Off-topic, but: if you look closely at the lace cape, you'll see roses worked into the design! This isn't part of the analysis, I just think it's neat owo)

4. Just under the mask's central 4-pointed star, there are 2 small extrusions on each side. These bear an uncanny resemblance to the 2 main lines used in the flow of the embellishments on Draconimom's bodice(?), with the upper one curling upwards while the lower one is just slightly curved.

5. I cannot stress this enough. I'm putting this in image format just so you can see how much I'm not joking. The central line of the mask is not just repeatedly utilized in Draconimom's outfit, it's literally integral to her overall character design. (It's a little hard to see due to her default pose unfortunately, as it interrupts the linear flow)

tl;dr get in losers we're getting hornton's mom out of that mirror

#YES this is basic design analysis but i can't go into the twst tag rn w/o seeing More Spoilers so i'm trying to amuse myself #there are a lot more instances of the central line of the mask in Draconimom's design but those 4 are the biggest examples #twst #twisted wonderland #diasomnia spoilers #twst chapter 7 spoilers #twst meta #dark mirror #malleus draconia #twisted rambling

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onceuponaneverafter · 6 months

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Let’s Talk About Jacks’s Apples PART 2

And again, their COLORS! Because after reading A Curse For True Love, I HAVE MORE TO SAY SO LET’S GET RIGHT INTO IT.

First, though:

You can find PART 1 here! It’s a quite thorough analysis of every single apple Jacks is ever described holding from Legendary to TBONA.

This post contains MAJOR SPOILERS for ACFTL. I will also reference my earlier findings, so spoilers for every book!

The focus of this post is on what ACFTL adds to my earlier analysis. For a summary of my findings, go to the end of part 1 (where we left off) or to the end of this post (general conclusions of everything).

Every non-canon conclusion I make here is just theories, based on my interpretations and observations! They aren’t the only right interpretations and I do not wish to present them that way.

The page numbers are from my ACFTL UK hardcover so if you have a different edition of the book, they may be a bit off for you.

That being said, welcome! 🍎❤️

So, to put it shortly: Because Stephanie Garber didn’t provide us with any answers about the apple colors, I decided to take it upon myself and go back to my trusted spreadsheet <3

What we did get is two new apples and more context, so let's get into it!

Table Of Contents

Introduction / Updated Spreadsheet

Why Apples? w/ the answers that we DO get in ACFTL, and my favorite new discovery!

ACFTL Apples

The Apple Colors (feat. me losing my mind over the lack of actual answers BUT I HAVE THEORIES and more thoughts on most apples!)

Conclusions / TL;DR

Introduction

The Updated Spreadsheet

In ACFTL, we get two new apples: one black and one white. I will take a closer look into these shortly, but here's the updated spreadsheet:

The total apple count (including apples from Legendary and Finale, which are presented in part 1) now looks like this:

This makes the total apple count 22, and the apples seen during the OUABH series reach the satisfying count of 15.

I don't know if there is anything intentionally symbolic about the total apple count, but I found with a quick google search that the number 22 can represent at least balance and harmony – which our beloved characters certainly deserve after everything they've been through.

Half of the apples are still white, while the rest are other colors - with Black Apples being the second most common. Like in part one, I will later go over all of the apple colors individually.

Why Apples?

New Information

First of all, let's appreciate the one time Jacks addresses his apples at all during ACFTL, after Evangeline asked about them:

"It doesn't matter," he said softly. "I don't need them anymore." –ACFTL page 381

This practically confirms that Jacks indeed has the apples to control his urge to kiss people in order to try and find true love (see part 1 or other people's theories for a more detailed explanation). Now that he's found true love and can kiss Evangeline all he wants (yay <3), he doesn't need the apples anymore. He's fulfilled his goal, and honestly, it's no wonder he's had enough of apples now:

"Her Prince of Hearts was never far from her, except for when she went to pick apples. Jacks never so much as tossed an apple any more." "– –Jacks preferred to avoid the apple grove altogether." –ACFTL, Waterstones bonus epilogue

While this is not officially part of the book, it's more context regarding the apples. If you want to read the entire bonus epilogue, others have posted it here on tumblr – if it would be helpful, I can post it myself/link others' posts as well. The other two bonus epilogues are available somewhere here as well.

Physical Movement

Alright, there are some interesting things going on here so let's get into some of my favorite discoveries!

In part 1, I pointed out how Jacks avoids touching Evangeline at all costs while he's holding an apple, and the interesting contrast that he does touch Tella while he has an apple in his hand (at least twice). While his apples are more or less his interpretation of self-control, this didn't completely align with it.

Now, I think I have figured out what's going on here! And it has to do with the way he would do anything (including giving up his only chance to go back in time to save Evangeline, and giving up his heart if it means no one can harm her again) to keep Evangeline safe.

He only touches Evangeline while holding an apple with not his hands (OUABH silver apple in hand, touches dagger to Evangeline’s lips), only because he has to and it’s complicated (blue apple in TBONA, Evangeline tried to grab the luck stone from Chaos) or he’s not himself at all and doesn't care about hurting her like he normally would (in ACFTL after he gave up his heart).

With Tella, he's always been reckless – not the least because he didn't truly love her, and because she didn't die when he kissed her.

I’d also like to point out that he kept carrying apples around after he kissed Tella and she didn’t die. Only once he finally found true love with Evangeline (and she also didn’t die when she kissed him <3) did he not need them anymore.

Regarding what he does with the apples, there isn't much new information. I still think it has to do with his emotions (see part 1 for a list), and the ACFTL apples confirm the theories I presented there.

ACFTL Apples

Page 101, Black Apple

It makes a lot of sense to me that this is the scene in ACFTL where Jacks has an apple. He's watching as Evangeline sleeps, convinced that she's better off not knowing him and that their story can't end happily. Still, he can't stay away from her. He is trying very hard not to get too close, though, which is where the apple comes in.

The apple is only described once, so aside from more context on its color (that I will get into a little later), there isn't much to analyze. What is particularly interesting about it, though, is Jacks's thoughts earlier during the scene that are connected to it:

He'd never understood why someone would watch another person sleep... until her. Castor did it. He said it was how he helped manage his urges. It did the opposite for Jacks. – ACFTL page 98-99

Considering that apples are what do help Jacks, this just further proves that we've been right about why he has them.

Page 289, White Apple

First of all, I love how Jacks is written after he gave up his heart. Evangeline says that he reminds her of when she first met him, and it really highlights how much he's changed throughout the series. He's gradually grown softer and to genuinely care about Evangeline – the development feels natural, even if there is a lot of it especially throughout TBONA. The way he acts when that softness is taken away creates a sharp contrast that wouldn't be so noticeable otherwise.

I also really love how even the apple reflects that. I will get to the color next thing, but let's take a look at what exactly he does with the apples (see chart above in Physical Movement).

Like I mentioned above, he touches Evangeline while holding the apple, which already sets the scene apart from the others. He never does that, not really.

Then, he drops the apple on the ground (before he tries to kiss her). While that isn't exclusive to the first half of OUABH where I don't think he has really fallen for her yet, dropping apples on the ground/floor is a pattern there, whereas most apples in TBONA and the black ACFTL apple are last seen in his hand. It's just a small detail, but I think it really adds to the contrast even if it's subtle and may not be intentional.

The Apple Colors

White Apples

In part 1, I said that I thought white apples either were the default color or represented focusing on what's important.

Now, with the context of White ACFTL Apple in mind, I think it's the default color. Half of Jacks's apples are white, and the one time he isn't himself at all (one could say he's even "defaulting" when he doesn't have his heart), he has a white apple.

With the first apple we ever see him holding (during and before the first time he meets Tella) also being white, I'm inclined to say that white is the "default color" for his magical apples.

Black Apples

I still think that Black Apples definitely represent doing whatever it takes, but I also think that their meaning has a touch of desperation as well – desperation is what drives him to do whatever it takes, isn't it? This is the one thing in common with all of the Black Apples:

Black Apple #1: Finale, last apple. Jacks offers to help Tella and the others in exchange for getting to control Tella's emotions forever. He's very desperate at this point, thinking it's his only chance at finding love.

Black Apple #2: OUABH, Nocte Neverending. Jacks is controlling Apollo's emotions because to fulfill the key prophecy, he needs Apollo to marry Evangeline. Even if he doesn't care about opening the arch, he's working with Chaos and has probably promised him that the Valory Arch will be opened. Overall, he has his plan and is willing to do stupid things for it.

Black Apple #3: TBONA, Chaos' place. Jacks brought Evangeline there to be healed because she'd been shot. At this point, I believe he already personally cares about whether Evangeline is alive or not. And even if he didn't, he would still need her alive – not only for the reasons stated above, but also because as a key, she feels each stone's magic the strongest (TBONA page 123).

Black Apple #4: ACFTL, Evangeline's bedroom. Jacks believes that the price he had to pay for Evangeline being alive was her memories being lost, and now his primary goal is to keep her safe. During this scene, he plans on leaving her for good once he "got what he needed" – I believe this refers to the protective glass cuff thingy that will stop anyone from harming Evangeline. Considering the price he paid for it, and the way she died in his arms only days earlier, he's very desperate to keep her safe in this scene. So, this apple also supports my theory.

Blue Apples

As we have no new Blue Apples to analyze, I still think they represent happiness and success – though maybe success even more than genuine happiness, because he has got something he wanted every time he's holding a blue apple.

Also, at the times he's genuinely happy, he doesn't even need any apples (The Hollow, which the cursed forest shows as the best day of his life in ACFTL, and his happy ending with Evangeline, when he says he doesn't even need them anymore).

The Golden Apple

We also didn't get any more Golden Apples to analyze, which is a shame, because this one's a struggle. I'm not so sure the Golden Apple represents Tella anymore because he's quite obsessed with her for a good while and he only has the Golden Apple after all hope of ever finding love with her is gone.

A noteworthy detail is that Jacks's blood is described multiple times to have gold flecks in it, so this apple could be connected to that – maybe he's feeling wounded, or it's more symbolic to him and the Golden Apple simply represents failure, heartbreak, and/or overall feeling broken? Tella did literally stab him in Finale, and at this point he still believes Tella is his one chance at finding true love, which obviously didn't work out even though it was supposed to.

The Silver Apple

This one is also still a mystery to me, and I mostly stand by what I said in part 1 – the Silver Apple could represent success but something being incomplete, being a "milder" version of the Blue Apples. Something about both being related to Jacks's eye color – which is being described over and over – seems significant.

I'd like to think the metallic apples, Gold and Silver, would have some kind of a connection with each other. The only thing I can think of is that these apples appear right before the scenes where Jacks tells Evangeline to fulfill a part of their deal – the Golden Apple is before Evangeline kisses Apollo, and the Silver Apple is on their way to the Fortuna castle, where Evangeline kisses the Fortuna matriarch's cheek.

Something that doesn't add up, though, is the fact that when Jacks is holding the Golden Apple, he isn't expecting to see Evangeline – he tells her he thought she'd be happily married to Luc by now.

This could be a storytelling element, like I suspected in part 1 that the purple apple might be. However, their deal is never fully completed, so we're lacking crucial context for this theory. It would have been fun if we had got a scene with him holding a bronze apple, before asking Evangeline to finally fulfill the last part of their deal.

The Pink Apple

I still think that the Pink Apple represents Evangeline, and I've only grown more convinced about this as time has passed. Before this scene, Jacks is only intrigued about Evangeline – one useful piece of information that we get from his chapters in ACFTL is that he's been interested in her from the second he saw her, but at first he only connected this interest to her hair color and the fact that she was a key (or that's what he told himself) (ACFTL page 100).

However, between the Silver Apple and the Pink Apple, Jacks saves Evangeline's life and spends a night holding her. I think this is where he starts developing a more personal interest towards her, and the pink apple represents that.

The Purple Apple

This one is still a struggle to me, because it doesn't seem to be connected to anything. I stand by my theory that either the purple apple represents royalty, nobility, or power, or is a storytelling element representing mystery.

The last scene where we see Jacks before the scene where he has the Purple Apple is the dinner with Elantine, before which he's holding a White Apple. He's hoping to take the throne, which makes sense in relation to the meanings associated with purple color.

Conclusions

To summarize all of my findings and conclusions, both from part 1 and part 2,

There are 22 apples in total that Jacks is described holding throughout the Caraval series (7) and the OUABH series (15).

What Jacks does with his apples (tossing, biting, picking up, dropping) is connected to his emotions.

As Jacks is a Fate, he carries around the apples to help control his urge to kiss people, in search of true love. Only once he finds true love with Evangeline does he not need them anymore. Now he's happy and has had enough of the apples <3

The apples have different colors that I believe represent different things: white (11 of 22, default color), black (4 of 22, desperation/doing whatever it takes), blue (3 of 22, success), gold (1 of 22, possibly failure or feeling broken), silver (1 of 22, possibly partial success or intrigue), pink (1 of 22, Evangeline), and purple (1 of 22, royalty/power/nobility or mystery).

The origin of the apples is still unknown, as is how the apples take on different colors.

If you have read this far, again, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Today I offer you two apples as a reward: 🍎🍏

Almost all of my conclusions are just theories, but I'm so happy if I could provide something to think about – and some much needed "answers". I know I was losing my mind when I read ACFTL and got almost none of the apple-related answers I had been hoping for, but on the other hand, researching this has been a ton of fun!

In part 1, I said I'd be happy if just one person besides myself would enjoy looking at my findings and theories. As of writing this, that post has 103 notes. Guys. I'm blown away by all the likes and reblogs and nice things some of you have said to me and just,,, THANK YOU. All of you. I'm overjoyed that I could share my little theories and that so many of you have liked them, it means the world to me.

You all have made the hours upon hours I put into these posts and dedicating my heart to this little detail a thousand times worth it. Thank you so much for reading, truly!! 🍎❤️

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