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thoughtfulchaos773 · 7 months

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Fixing & Empathy

This is a long one- and of course, I'm talking about the table scene. But it's such a great example here.

How Carmy connects with Syd and Claire shows the difference between Empathy and Fixing. Fixing is our instinct when our partner is in feelings of discomfort; we sympathize and try to see the silver lining for this person; we want to solve their problems instead of sitting in pain with our partner. Empathy, you're showing someone you care and understand; it's finding something within you to connect to the other person. This is the art of vulnerability.

Fixing

Claire: When we were, like, six, she, uh, fell off a fence and broke her arm, and it scared the sh¡t out of everybody? Except me, I just, like, sat there and stared at her arm.

Carmy: 'Cause you wanted to fix it?

Claire: I wanted to understand it.

Carmy: Right.

This has become my favorite interaction of the Claire & Carmy storyline. It's the summary of their relationship, a foreshadowing, if you will.

If I fill in the blanks, she is a fixer, at least in romantic relationships. I know Molly said with Carmy it's the first time Claire has stood up for herself. Maybe that's what she means: Claire wants to fix her partners; she's an enabler, as @moodyeucalyptus said. Enabling is when someone else will always fix, solve, or make the consequences disappear, and I noticed this dynamic in 2x08.

2x08: She listens to his problems and reminds him that everything is fine the night after his panic attack. When Claire asks Carmy what he's thinking about. He can't be honest that he's still thinking about the suppression test because she will attempt to fix it. He does not trust her with his feelings of discomfort. The fixing Claire does is futile support.

The way she attempts to fix Carmy, we hear through Carmy himself. A panic attack about his family gatherings - Claire's solution is finding a new meaning, making the cannolis your own. chaos menu? Could you try making it something you care about?

Can she truly understand and connect with what he's feeling? Carmy not defining their relationship could mean the lack of a bond on Carmy's part.

Part of the solution to Carmy's dilemmas on the show lies in connecting - moving out of the constant state of isolation.

Connection improves Carmy; when he initiates contact, he becomes a better version of himself. He stops screaming, gets out of his head, and can provide for others and inspire them.

All the above matches what he does for Tina, Richie, Marcus, Ebrahim, and most of all, Sydney.

It's like what Luca says in 2x04- being inspired by someone, bettering ourselves because of the person next to us- and really getting out there in the world means opening ourselves up to other people, which is what Carmy and Syd do for each other- they use empathy as a source of bonding.

Blocking was talked about for their scenes before, how one always initiates closeness- Carmy usually does that, especially in season 2. That need for contact - touching Syd on her back and shoulders - shows Carmy's longing for closeness with Sydney.

Before I get to empathy, Here's the thing: I know people hate to say that Carmy relies on Sydney or that she's his peace argument, but this does not mean Sydney actively tries to fix Carmy. Just Sydney's presence ignites change in him; just by her honesty, he's willing to try and be there for someone and get out of that place where he's hiding within himself. Sometimes, it's forgotten that social isolation can impact our mental health, and bonding with others can make positive changes.

Empathy

"...empathy is kind of this sacred space. When someone's kind of in a deep hole, and they shout out from the bottom, and they say hey it's dark, I'm overwhelmed, and then we look, and we say, "Hey," we come down."I know what it's like down here, and you're not alone."

-Brene Brown

I talked about the table scene fifty-eleven times. It makes a great example of the connection Carmy feels to Sydney.

When we're with people - our person - they make us want to be better. We don't fear a future; we expect a future with this person. There's this knowing Carmy has about Sydney; he knows whatever this relationship is, they'll work on it.

Carmy & Sydney show us the correct way to deal with your partner's feelings is empathy- listening to one another, instead of correcting emotions- you get in the hole- or table with them and express your own fears. He leaves space for Sydney to share her concerns and doesn't try to correct those feelings. He affirms and tells her he's right there with her (I fuck things up all the time), and he's honest- the without-you dialogue isn't just to make her feel better. It's his own moment of vulnerability.

When Carmy says I won't let you, I think he will hold his side and make it easier so they can fix themselves. All while empathizing with each other during their partnership.

Writing this makes the scene of the walk-in even more heartbreaking. Carmy was in the dark hole- calling for Sydney to bond with him; they couldn't help each other :(.

This is why I can't blame Carmy for screaming at Richie; he sort of begged Richie for empathy, but Richie judged him- causing panic at that moment and more isolation.

Though the end of season two was heartbreaking, I have faith we'll get more intimate, empathetic scenes despite the fall in season two.

This is a roundabout way to say- whether they end up together romantically or not (they will i just say this for the sycarmy doubters), Carmy pretty much confirms his bond with Sydney is unlike any other he's experienced, and no one can replace what he feels for her- even if someone is sitting at their table.

SIDEBAR: Read this insightful post by @bioloyg about Carmy fixing himself.

I've referenced Brene Brown's Empathy Vs. Sympathy

#the bear meta #sydcarmy #the bear fx #anticlaire #carmy x sydney #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #sydney x carmy #chefs kiss #i think the sydcarmy tag is frozen

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rpedia · 3 months

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How to deal with lack of motivation to reply?

Ah, the old blank screen stare. So, for the most part I consider this issue to be several intersecting problems at the same time. Usually a lack of motivation indicates a.) a lack of fun/enjoyment, b.) low/no expectation of reward, or c.) fear or apprehension. Let's explore that under the cut.

When you are roleplaying and you're not enjoying yourself explicitly, if the journey to a finished post is not fun itself, we're kind of fucking ourselves over. Creation of these words, excitement at turning a phrase or approaching an idea you really want to explore is basically the whole gist of it. It is a hobby, and loving what you write and laughing at your own jokes is important! You are your own first audience, and if you're not impressed or pleased with what you're writing, it becomes an endless Sisyphean task where you unhappily struggle to write something, anything, to just get through it.

In this case it may be a lack of inspiration. With no structure, or core, we can really easily lose sight of what kind of play we're looking for. What are your goals? Are you here for plot, or character? For smut, or a quick playful bit of banter? Do you want to fight, or are you reaching for some overarching thing? Hell, do you know where THIS scene is headed, or does it feel like an endless trudge? These ideals disappearing or falling to the wayside for someone else can really fuck the vibe!

How are you supposed to know what to write, if you don't have any plans for the character, or don't know where they might potentially go? Like it doesn't have to be hard and fast, but understanding your characters own personal goals, fears, joys, and secrets (entirely different to you, the player) can help with motivation in writing them. I like to explore these by playing games with myself, and daydreaming about scenarios and possibilities that aren't "canon" to my character, but just let me know more about them if a similar situation were to come up. Having a library chock-full of potential what-ifs can help a ton in figuring out how to approach any actions or direction a partner may push you towards. Be excited to explore your character, and to show them off to others! This journey is soooo important to love for itself!

Like with any piece of art, not enjoying the process is a quick short-cut to burn-out and misery. So, if this is happening you might want to adjust some things if you're sitting there upset and bored instead of enjoying what should be a fun pastime you can lose yourself in! So instead of beating yourself up about posting, figure out why it's a chore. Are you taking care of yourself? Have you met the S.H.R.E.K. criteria for the day? Is this post not something in your wheelhouse, or do you feel like you could be doing something else and getting more fun out of it?

Before I get ahead of myself, let me address the truly horrific acronym I just threw at you. S.H.R.E.K. criteria? Who would inflict this on you? Well... me, because it's so memetic and stupid I remember it way better than most acronyms, so buckle up buttercup. It stands for:

Socialization: Have you talked to someone or had meaningful interactions with others for the day? Depending on your needs, you may need hugs, touching others, chatting with loved ones, or cuddling. Some people literally need to be touched, held, hugged, and talked with the thrive, and others can do just fine with a little less. Listen to the monkey studies: Don't be a wire mother to yourself, let yourself have cloth mother sometimes. Hydration: Have you been drinking enough liquids to be hydrated and keep your piss from being too yellow? No liquids means your body starts sucking at everything from getting oxygen to the brain, to making food into energy. Make sure you balance hydration with salt and food intake, but never underestimate what a good cold cup of something can do. And yes, any liquid works. Coffee is dehydrating, so is soda, but their hydrating effect is way bigger than how often they make you piddle so it balances out. Still, water is best but don't beat yourself up about it. Rest: Have you slept enough in the last 24 hours? I know you think 4-6 is okay, but it's really not, it will actually cause you to behave like an alcoholic and lead to later insomnia, mental issue worsening, and health problems like heart issues. Nip that in the bud, sleep full 8-10 hour nights. Or nap if you're just sleepy! Eat: Have you shoved nutritious food in your gob or are you dying from scurvy, beri-beri, and malnutrition simultaneously while depriving the lil dudes who help you write a good lunch? Don't starve your lil neuron folks, they need a good meal too. Even if it's just ingredients for a meal, anything is better than nothing and you deserve food. Kinetics: Have you moved around? Stretched? Walked or played? Sometimes if you're starting out from zero, you might try just standing up and sitting down a couple times to help get bloodflow going! Getting active at whatever level you're at is good for the brain.

Anyways after that interlude, back to basics. At the lowest tier we want to be having fun. If we're not, it might be us, or it might be a boring lackluster partner. That's where a lack of reward comes in. If the partner is, bless them and their hard work, just not giving you the thrills to pay the dopamine bills? That just might mean you guys aren't a good match! This is not the end of the world, it just means you might need to stop playing with them.

Step back, consider if roleplaying with their style and output is worth your time and effort, and do BOTH of you a favor if they aren't. Set them free to play with other players who love their writing and can't get enough of it, and stop grating your teeth across cement trying to come up with something to keep things you don't even like going. This is the communication part, remember how I used to harp on that? Well old Uragani still thinks it's super important. So discuss that 'hey, we might not be a great fit for writing together' and come up with solutions. Maybe finding new partners, and just staying friends, or just waving goodbye to each other and hitting the road.

Here we find ourselves looking at challenger #3, the good old fear and apprehension. This comes up more than I'd like to admit. Are you worried about what's happening next? Or how you might portray something? Have you worked yourself up too much, and now you feel like you can never meet your own expectations? Are you scared of letting down a partner, and not giving them your best? Do you feel like your post might go over an unwritten line, and leave people upset with you?

Congrats! I hate that shit too! I do not know why brains do this to us! I would like to sue!

Anxiety is a hell of a beast, so is Impostor Syndrome, and fear of letting people down, and all the other fun goodies in that bag. They can be worked on at home, in small doses. You gotta learn to sit back, and be able to talk to yourself. Why are you feeling this way, and finding the name for your emotional state, accepting it, and letting it pass through can help. In major situations, you might need to find yourself a good old Common Sense Dispenser, better known as a therapist. They have the tools you need, and yes, roleplay can be a play you find out what you need. It's not dumb, it's useful.

Working through this can be as simple as discussing your fears with your partner and making sure everything is kosher. It might need you to look at a worst case scenario and then planning an exit strategy for that, even if it never happens. Sometimes, you just gotta heft yourself up, and push through the fear. There's a million ways to get through it, and I'm not the person who can tell you which will work for you. But I can tell you, it gets better the longer you work with it. Confidence comes from experience, the more you work at it, the more it feels like second nature.

But that brings with it the last beast, the hidden #4. Burn-out. Sometimes, when we delve too deeply into something we love, we ignore the signs of burn-out. Losing interest in things we once deeply enjoyed. Feeling exhausted at the thought of starting a post, or writing anything. Feeling like we've lost touch with what we used to be good at. Burn out can be a miserable thing, because it stand between us and our goals, our happiness, and it keeps them behind the thickest glass, so we can see them, but getting them feels impossible. The harder we push, the thicker the glass becomes.

In cases of burn out, like the kind I've experienced, sometimes you need to take a step back and just do something else. Go on hiatus. Maybe it's hooked to a character, and you simply have to play with some other muse. Maybe it's with another player, and finding a new fandom without them in it can help. Maybe it's with writing at large, and you need to go find some other outlet to explore while this one heals. You cannot do the same thing forever, you will lose touch with what makes it special. Believe me.

But after healing, which can take years if you keep pushing it like some idiot who wrote RPedia long after you should stop, it'll be fun again. You'll want to come back, and do the thing you were good at, and loved again. The spark will return, and things just... settle and feel better. I promise. Just let yourself have that time to recover without pushing yourself somewhere you aren't meant to go right now.

Naturally there's other stuff too. ADHD/Autism/other issues could be throwing the executive dysfunction ball into your lap and suddenly doing the thing you've done a thousand times is impossible. Stars aren't in alignment. Maybe you're stressed out because of an external force and need a break. Maybe the thread you're in has been going on too long in the same scene, and you need to cut and start a "fresh episode" before everything stays stale forever. Maybe you just aren't in the mood! There's a million reasons, but all of them come down to figuring out what the problem is, and engaging with ways to break that problem down into bits. Find your fun. Look for partners who make you feel like writing with them is worth it. Work with your fears, and express yourself about them and let them past through you. Find external help if needed, and take care of your body while you're at it.

And hey, remember, I am not the end all be all of advice. It could totally be something outside of these circumstances, but I'd like to think that in my experience these are the major factors that I keep coming across. If any of this has been a help, I can only be happy to have said it. Thank you so much for reading!

#ask rpedia #anonymous #roleplaying #rph #rpedia #passion #writing #roleplaying advice #personal help #hey uhm #im back #oop #We'll see how long before I burn out again #hi guys though!#I'll post once every Friday until I lose steam

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donnerpartyofone · 6 months

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I'm trying to picture the logical outcome of that rhetoric going around about how we should all reblog people's art and fan content out of the goodness of our hearts--like just to satisfy everybody's cravings for attention, as opposed to reblogging if and when we actually like something enough to want it on our own blogs. I mean there's no other reason NOT to reblog something than that you just don't enjoy it enough, so the only reason to press people about reblogs is to override that basic lack of desire and pleasure. With that said:

Let's say person X is earnestly writing and recording really shitty music. You don't like it, but you feel duty-bound to make them happy by acting like you think it's good so you reblog it, all of it, every time. And let's also say your supposedly heroic urge to promote things you don't believe in, to make your blog represent stuff you don't actually care for just to create a feeling of artificial popularity for someone else, catches on, and we all start doing it. Now everyone is playing music they don't like, or are even indifferent to, and we're putting it on all of our blogs, like you're covering your room in posters for something totally uninspiring, that you're only involved with out of pity. And then one day we all find ourselves middle-aged and tired without that much money or energy to go around, and we're still dragging our asses to shows that start too late and go too late, trudging from the bar to the bathroom as the only way of breaking up the monotony of politely sticking it out until your friend goes on--who actually isn't even your friend, they're just some rando on social media who everyone collectively decided to boost out of the misguided notion that we are all owed zillions of notes and followers just because we want them, and now this person gets to go about their days imagining that they're deservedly famous and never learning things like, for instance, you should make art for your own personal satisfaction and not to get everyone else's approval, or that being loved by a few people who really understand you is better than being popular with masses of strangers, or that there are forms of success that aren't just doing numbers on some cretinous website.

One of the more important parts of the above is, person X is not your friend, they're just some guy. In real life, there is a good probability that you will sometimes have a friend who makes bad art or bad music or writes bad poetry etc, and you will feel obligated to go to their show/reading/etc and act supportive and come up with nice things to say until you're exhausted to the point of death. And you sacrifice your time and comfort like this because X is someone in your life who you care about, even if it doesn't feel completely honest to be this positive about everything they do, it's worth it because you're invested in how they feel (this is providing you don't have more of a tough love relationship, which is maybe ideal, but not everybody does so well with that, so ANYWAY). And if you're part of an actual community of artists, everybody winds up buying each other's zines and being the only people at each other's shows and basically just passing the same $10 bill around in a circle forever and man is THAT exhausting, but at least you all know the score, even if no one is saying it.

But what I'm saying is, this is the burden of relationships, the result of not being able to necessarily choose who you love. The most common type of relationship on Tumblr is between strangers; I will never know anything about the vast majority of people whose posts I see, even that I like. I will make some friends and acquaintances, but for the most part I'm here to have my own experience, to follow people because I like what they do, to interact with their stuff for no reason other than that I enjoy it. So for me, the Tumblr pitch is basically "Come to this site, people post all kinds of cool shit and you can amuse yourself for hours!" The pitch should not be "Come to this site where people will conspire to make a charity case out of you by making you think they like your stuff when they really don't," nor should it be "Come to this site where you have a moral obligation to help promote all kinds of random crap you might think is lame or boring, but you're forced to because you feel sorry for strangers who make bad art and you don't think they should have to learn that no one owes them a successful artistic career and popularity isn't everything!" I mean that is a nightmare. If you're lucky you'll have enough of that going on in your real life that you definitely won't want to join a website where you have to do it for people you don't even know. If you're extra lucky, you'll never have to do anything like this at all!

PS If half your likes and reblogs are inspired by charity and not informed by your actual taste, then your approval becomes totally meaningless and nobody should care what you have to say. Same goes for always agreeing with whoever is talking to you and always saying you're sorry even if no one asked for an apology. It's a way of being a liar. You turn your own word into mud.

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eldhuug · 8 months

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omg rdr2 post on my dashboard yay 👀👀👀 *starts kicking legs off the edge of my seat* PLEASE tell me more on how u thought arthur morgans character couldve been done more justice by the singleplayer video game medium, i am genuinely super interested

Alright Anon U ASKED, I have a lot of thoughts about how the medium of videogames can be used to make the story reactive as well as interactive when we're given a guy who's supposed to be a fully formed guy we ratatouille

Now I want to lead into this by saying, these are just my opinions. rdr2 is enjoyed by people with a lot better taste than I, and who wholy enjoyed the experience provided. Some of my favorite artists and dear friends disagree with me, and I love them all dearly for it. I attempt to be concise with my issues, specifically the fact that for a game that is so thematically strong and eager to tell its story, it tends to forget that it is a video game. Now, a story in a video game is differently experienced, and has to be differently told. The cutscenes are also a hard cut between player control and the unfolding story. You, the player, passively watch the enacting dialogue. To me, there isn't any problem regarding the fact that you can't pick speech options to affect how the dialogue goes. We're not supposed to be able to do that, Arthur says the things he says, and while we can affect his actions we do not affect his thoughts. This is interesting, and does make us Arthurs allies in his adventures rather than getting the feeling of having an avatar for ourselves. However, we run into two problems. 1, that dialogue in the game doesn't reflect arthur's actions and causing a disconnect between what we're being told and what we, the player, experience arthur doing. 2. We DO get to pick how arthur acts, and it allows us to pick between good guy nice dialogue, or being a complete raging asshole that mocks and belittles the people around him. You can't create a scenario where the actions the player makes in Arthur's story are supposed to matter, and not have the people around him notice how he changes. Instead of having a sliding morality scale, keeping a tally on what actions were done and in what way, who sees Arthur doing what and remembering how he acted before, commenting on his changing nature for the better or for the worse would have been a MUCH more engaging way to keep track on your characters progression, not to mention it would open for more meaningful camp conversations and build meaningful relationships. This however, does NOT align with the story rockstar are telling, they have a story to tell that isn't open for that level of flexibility, because they have a tale to tell that needs to go down brick by careful brick, in a domino stacked before we were allowed to join in the play, and now we simply have to watch the emerging pattern. I'm not claiming there aren't parts of rdr2 that aren't moving, or heartbreaking and wonderfully performed and paced, but to me, that complete lack of being even a LITTLE engaged in the unfolding events makes it pointless to experience through the videogame format, which is uniquely situated to react to player choices.You do not need to change arthur morgan, but you need to let the actions taken by a player show in a way that is more refined than in the ending scene, or by an openly accessible slider of good boy bad boy when the entire point of this ragtag outlaw band is their tightrope walk of morality, that gets completely undermined by its own karmic system.

Summarizing, I'd remove the pop up of good/bad, let the dialogue of the camp encounters indicate what direction arthur was leaning, as well as letting antagonization be an option arthur could do in scenarios where scaring someone might be a good option to beating them the hell up. allow him to exist within the gray specter in a way that didn't make the player feel directly bad for their actions, and allowing arthur his shades of gray.

#ein ask #anon #curious what you think as well

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plural-aita · 2 months

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AITA for trying to convince the host we're not really plural?

I know how that sounds, but given all of the context, I don't believe I was wrong to do so.

So a little backstory. We're a mixed origins system. We have low to no amnesiac barriers, occasional emotional disconnecting but nothing beyond that.

While I haven't been here long, I can easily see the reason I formed.

When we first discovered our plurality, it was liberating at first, but now I believe without a shadow of a doubt it has been nothing but negative for our mental health and social life.

We feel less comfortable interacting with people offline now because we're terrified they wouldn't accept us if we told them.

We've become unmotivated to participate in what used to be healthy and close friendships.

We've been hiding away in our room and going out less.

We're distracted at school.

It seems like plurality is also becoming a hyperfixation, but we can't talk openly about it, so that's made us withdraw even more.

We also have depression, and I think withdrawing from life like this is very obviously dangerous for us especially.

Now, due to our lack of amnesia, smooth switches, and the fact that a lot of us are ultimately relatively similar, we're really not that different from a singlet.

Our life was better when we thought we were a singlet, so I thought if I could just convince the host (who we'll call C) to ignore all of this plural nonsense, life could go back to how it used to be.

I don't know exactly how I did it, but somehow I forced C to be frontstuck with me. I pretended I wasn't there at all, and when I thought, I'd use "I" to refer to both C and myself.

To be honest, I also believed we weren't really a system at first, and only later on did my motivation more become about getting the host to pretend we weren't.

C started to panic when he realized he couldn't hear any of his headmates, and had persistent thoughts about how we'd been faking. He did start to believe it, too, until I slipped up and used "you" instead of "I" to refer to him.

Long story short, I got confronted by C, whatever I did to block off front got undone, the entire rest of our system shows up in the headspace to get mad at me, and I ran off.

I still do believe that we'd be better off as a singlet, and that it would be possible for us all to fuse back into one with some effort. I think that would be ultimately the best choice.

And nothing's improved either, we're still unmotivated to talk to people we're close with, we're still shutting ourselves off from the world more and more, all because we're a system.

(No TLDR because I want to make sure people actually understand the whole situation before voting.)

So, AITA for trying to convince the host that we're a singlet?

#plural aita #plurality

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oh-my-damn · 1 year

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I just wanted to stop by and add my two cents to this conversation. This might get a bit long, so I apologize in advance.

To the anons that come here and spew hate, let me share some different perspective, since most of you want to pop on Mandy’s blog, or someone else’s blog to accuse us fans, or former fans of being jealous.

It’s not about that.

Believe it or not, some of us are in healthy relationships, or are “gasp!” married! Some of us are single, and are focusing on loving ourselves. Jealousy because Chris is in a relationship isn’t why we are upset.

I am a biracial woman. As someone who is half black who grew up in a white neighborhood to white parents (I’m adopted) was interesting for lack of a better word atm. I grew up with comments of “why wouldn’t you adopt a white child.” From my mom’s friends who didn’t think I was listening. Or employees at grocery stores watching me a little bit closer because I wasn’t the blonde haired blue eyed child that came in to buy candy after riding their bikes all day and needed a pick me up. I’ll always remember a woman at a 7-11 making me dump my pockets out to make sure I didn’t take anything extra than what I paid for, but didn’t make my white childhood friend do the same. When I was younger I didn’t quite understand, I felt it was normal. Of course I know better now.

Chris Evans is/was a comfort celebrity for a lot of people, as were his characters. Yes, some can take it to the extreme, but not everyone. I know that as a woman of color, it felt like we had an ally in him when it came to matters of racism. We had someone using their platform to do good for others who may not have that voice. Remember when he called out Frank Grillo during their appearance on Chelsea Lately? Or how about when he was pictured with his brother at a BLM peaceful protest? Don’t get me started on his interactions with several black women on social media during the pandemic.

But now, it feels like a farce. Look, I know Alba and her crew are young. I was that age once. You’re still figuring things out. But racism is always inexcusable. Fine, it wasn’t her that directly said it, but there is something to be said about the company you keep. Ever heard the term guilt by association? The fact that he was so vocal on issues before meeting Alba, then giving her friends a free pass because he’s getting laid? It’s not ok. It feels that all of his comments and actions were fake. It was to promote a narrative and an image that wasn’t real. It’s as if Chris only used his “wokeness” for when it worked out for him and make him look good, and because he was the “internet’s boyfriend” that’s ok. I’m kind of appalled that people are so willing to look past it. I think that’s why so many are calling out YNB because as a woman of color she’s ok to let his actions go as long as he keeps being her “twitter bae.” It’s not the way honey. He really isn’t here for us and he’s proven that time and time again. And don’t get me started on the not sticking up for the woman “he’s so in love with.” If my husband had even a notion that some of the things that were being said about Alba were being said about me, you better believe he would have called people out. “But that’s not what he does!” Some of you may say. Well, this whole relationship/relationship roll out is very different than how he’s handled things before, so why not jump all the way in with two feet?

I’m just trying to give a different perspective, from someone who is highly disappointed and moving away from the fandom. It has nothing to do with being jealous, but everything to do with it being blatantly obvious that Chris isn’t the person that he put himself out there to be.

Thank you for all you do Mandy!

Thank you so much for sending me this.

It's a much needed perspective for those who think there's nothing wrong with what has been said, or the ones who said to "move on because it's in the past".

This is why we're upset, this is why we're turning on him.

Anyone who cannot see or understand this needs to take a good hard look at themselves. Because what you're doing is excusing racist behavior.

#mandy answers #chris evans #alba baptista #racist behavior #CE fandom #cevans

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secondsonaym · 1 year

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"Flattery won't get you anywhere, brother." Heket scoffed, though she was smiling all the same. "Did you learn nothing from Verchiel?"

"Oh, he was a pompous old buzzard." Kallamar replied, and then turned to walk off to the farm.

"Mm, right. We're effectively mortal for the time being, and need to treat ourselves as such." Shamura muttered, placing a hand over their stomach. They seemed a bit embarrassed to have to admit such a thing, as they were used to their former position of dignity.

"You better not revert back to your old habits." Leshy mumbled. "Remember how you'd drown yourself in Raziel's notes and scripture? It wasn't a big deal once you got the crown, but you'd often go for days without food or sleep!"

"Food," Shamura said, grimacing as they tried to hide more of their shame. "Is something spiders can go without for a while."

"You still have no excuse for the sleep, though." Was all Leshy shot back, leaving his sibling to scowl as he followed Kallamar off to the farm.

Seeing the bishops interact like this, like... Actual people... It certainly threw Star for a loop. Before the culling, they had seemed so austere, so... Above it all. But now they were squabbling much like actual siblings.

"And what about you two?" Shamura asked Star and Azazel as the rest of them followed Leshy and Kallamar. "You two surely must be hungry as well."

"Keep your appetite in check." Heket grumbled in Azazel's direction, making them quail and scoot closer to Star.

"I don't feel hungry." Star admitted. "But I probably should have something. I can't remember what I had the followers grow before I left, though."

"Beetroot would be nice." Azazel mumbled. "Like you used to make it, Star."

"Uhhh, you mean just stick it in hot water for an hour and call it soup?"

"Still tasted nice."

"I'll handle the cooking." Heket said, as if the explanation of Star's cooking skills offended her. "I'm sure I can make something we'll all be able to stomach."

She then leaned over to Shamura, lowering her voice.

"You still have yet to explain yourself, sibling. Why did another lamb live? She was supposed to be the last one."

Shamura's eyes rolled before they glanced to the twin lambs.

"A plan of mine that got out of hand. I learned of the prophecy long before I told the rest of you. My intention was to have a lamb who would undoubtedly fail should Narinder take them as a vessel, while the others would be slaughtered, leaving only that lamb as his final option." They explained slowly.

"You what?" Heket hissed, thought glanced to the lambs to make sure they hadn't heard. "I trust your knowledge and plans, Shamura, but keeping the prophecy from us for--how long?"

"Roughly 25 years. It is but a drop in the bucket compared to our lifetimes, sister."

"I am aware. But we could have dealt with the lambs much sooner. Then perhaps we would still have our crowns."

Shamura let out a sigh.

"As I said, the plan got out of hand. Azazel had become my intended lamb of prophecy, but they fled Clauneck's care, and managed to evade my followers. Thus, Halley was the last lamb to be sacrificed, and thing spiraled from there. I certainly regret my lack of care, but what's done is done, Heket."

Heket stared at Shamura for a moment, before giving a snort and looking away. There was no sense in berating them about this. As they had said, what's done is done.

"Well, what are your plans for them now? Why have we not just killed them?" She then asked.

At this, a small smile crept on Shamura's lips, and they retrieved something from up their robe sleeve.

"I did not expect Azazel to keep the Yellow Crown, so you will have to bear with it for a while longer. However, I found something in the supplies of the temple when poking around."

They produced a small pouch, passing it to Heket, who cautiously opened it. When she saw what was inside, all four of her eyes widened, and she looked back to Shamura questioningly.

"I'd like you to prepare a special portion for the lambs using these, if that's alright." Shamura said with a small laugh. "If all goes well, we will not have to get our hands dirty on the quest to retrieve our crowns."

"Of course, Shamura." Heket said with a small nod.

#usurper au #ch4 #kallamar #heket #shamura #leshy #starwatcher berserk #deckard berserk #it is so fun writing the dynamic between the bishops finally properly UWAUGH

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aclosetfan · 1 year

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Crybaby Brick let’s gooooooo👏🏻 I need the boys to cry it’s important for my health. Honestly though like regardless of who or what the pairing is there is no situation where they wouldn’t greatly influence each other for better (or, if you’re into it, worse). The greens though just do it differently this is their special power like who else is getting easily paired left and right aside from these two bi dorks? Will say though, I feel like my disdain from them being paired with others kind of stems from how Butch will always be written much kinder and softer if he’s with the other girls. and the boys will always be a little meaner and dislikable (?) when they’re paired with Buttercup which makes me sad :( she deserves the kind and soft version of him! And you give that to me so now I’m attached to your writing because it brings me joy for them! Like for me, personally, no pair together has so much to push through and break from than the greens and I’m always a sucker for tough people break down their walls for someone who loves them unconditionally and through their chaos idk man I get so emo about the greens and what they represent to me🥹

You bring up a good point about Buttercup's interactions with the boys vs their interactions with her sisters. I've noticed that too, and not just in romantic pairings, even their platonic relationships. I think it boils down to most people wanting Buttercup to be that "bad bitch" character, which is fair and fun, but it got a little stale for me because that's usually just her whole personality.

Like damn, even bad bitches cry okay?

Though, in defense of the fic writers making content for butchxblossom or butchxbubbles, they probably write Butch kinder because that's their ship, and it's likely they've never written a greens' story. So, us being like, "hey it's unfair that they write Butch kinder to blossom or bubbles, but a lot of green content is mean content," we're not being fair to their stories because the lack of good characterization for the greens is on us greens shippers lol (or any pairing involving Buttercup)

I hope that makes sense, but I think you all get what I'm saying. If we want the soft greens content we have to keep making it ourselves, which is why I just keep doing that. And I'm so happy my doing that is bringing you some joy :) that's so nice to see!!

#anon ask #they're also just so much fun to write #i love them #i wish i had more time to write shit lately

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the-healing-mindset · 9 months

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Hi, just read your pinned post. Lately I am consumed by negativity and insecurity. Can you help, please?

Thank you for reaching out. Really and truly, I find myself in the exact same position. Not to make this about me, though.

It is good that you are aware of both of these. I know how annoying and difficult it is to know that you are experiencing negative emotions and thoughts as well as insecurity in life, but not to know what to do about either one of them.

For me recently, journaling and writing out my thoughts has helped. I know by now this is a cliché suggestion but in your journaling, try not to remain surface level. Try not to back down from any thought that arises. If there is a thought that comes up that you find you have difficulty accepting or acknowledging, go ahead and put it down on paper. No exceptions. Don't try to rush this process either. I know that we're all short on time nowadays, but treat this as you would one of your life-sustaining activities (i.e., eating, sleeping, etc.). We know that these things take the time that they take and cannot be rushed in any way. If we try, we know that the results can be bad. This process is a part of your healing, which also cannot be rushed.

To help you direct this process a little bit, what is the negativity in your life surrounding? I used to think that my negativity was general, but then I did a little digging and really found out that it was (is?) related to me feeling like I'm not good at anything in life and that my life is passing me by and that I can do nothing about it. Some of this is also the source of my insecurity, some of which also stems from my lack of having a satisfying social life.

One thing that is also coming up for me now is the fact that negativity and insecurity often work hand in hand. Being insecure makes us feel negative about ourselves. No way around that. However, after a long period of time, we begin to develop a negative view of the world. We being to think that many of the situations in our lives only exist to bring us down and to work against us. We feel like no matter what we do to get better, nothing will work for us. This makes us feel more and more insecure because we feel like we don't know how to live our lives.

Look deep within to see if you may be able to determine where this insecurity is coming from. Do you feel insecure about your thoughts? Do you feel insecure about your appearance? About the way you interact with others? These can be tough questions to ask ourselves because it's hard to look at ourselves and be truthful about the way we feel about ourselves. Insecurity isn't fun to live with. I know the frozen feeling that it can give.

In this process, however, be patient with yourself and with what you find. Extend yourself some grace and compassion. Remember not to blame yourself whatsoever. Blaming yourself and trying to make yourself feel guilty over what's going on in your life will only keep you stuck, which is where I currently find myself.

You are not to blame for any of the situations in which you have found yourself in the past that are making you feel the way you do. In this, try to limit your focus to the things that you can do daily to begin improving your life. Sometime during your day, pause and write down at least three positive things that you can think of in that moment. The more the better. Think about and write down things you have achieved and accomplished that you never thought you would get past. Even if they were easy things, write them down. These are reminders that you do indeed have value and worth and that you are capable of doing the things that matter to you.

Remember that your journey of life is about you. What everyone else does is for them. What you do is for you.

#THM Answers

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miyakuli · 10 months

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End of Lines

I discovered the French studio Nova Box just a few months ago with their game Seers Isle, and I was enormously charmed by it, especially in terms of atmosphere. So it seemed obvious to me to dive into their new game End of Lines, especially as it uses the same gameplay system as its predecessor. We are this time immersed in a post-apo universe where our choices and resource management will influence the destiny of a family.

Once again, the studio was able to grab me immediately in its universe, the atmospheric work being definitely their strong point. However, I do have a few reservations on certain points.

❤ A well-written story that's very much rooted in reality, since it's about ecology and what we're leaving for future generations, without being too moralistic. The game is more about raising awareness and asking ourselves, like little Sam, how we can try to improve things on our own scale. ❤ I continue on the writing, dwelling a little more on the dialogues and interactions between this little troupe. Nova Box brilliantly shows that you don't need long tirades or cheeky lines to create emotion. On the contrary, the dialogues are brief and profound, and the simple gestures are enough to make you feel the essential. And how beautiful it is :')

❤ I was delighted to find again the meticulous work on the visual and sound atmosphere. The illustrations are breathtaking, and the color work really makes us share that heavy heat with the characters. The soundscape is not to be outdone, with beautiful music and sound effects that immerse us in every scene.

+/- The system of resources to manage is a good idea, but to tell the truth, even after several games I can't really tell if they really influence the course of the story. I think there's a lack of potential here. +/- Pretty good replayability, with 4 unlockable endings and key scenes, but there aren't that many branches, so it gets pretty repetitive if you want to complete everything.

✖ The game is really very short (compared, for example, to Seers Isle, which was short but better balanced). It took me barely 2 hours to play my first game, without rushing. As a result, the development of certain characters feels "too fast", and I would have liked to linger on them longer. ✖ Also, since the narrative remains similar most of the time, replaying a game will take even less time to finish if you try to "skip" the scenes you've already read. ✖ I had complained about this in their previous game, but there is no "skip" option or even indications for text that has already been read. The only way I've found is to hold down the space bar to speed things up a bit, but that's still pretty laborious. ✖ The beginning of the story is too brutal, let me explain. As soon as I started my game, I found myself in the middle of a dialogue, without any real introduction. So yes after that we quickly get into the story, but every time I restart the game, I find this first scene too abrupt and I miss it as a real introduction (not necessarily with texts, but like we feel that we are embarking on something).

While I'm still seduced by Nova Box's visual and narrative universe, I'm a little less convinced by this one in view of its repetitive nature over a short playing time. But yes, I've once again had my eyes and ears totally thrilled, so my experience remains very positive, and I'll be following their future projects with great pleasure!

youtube

➡ My personal VN ranking (in french) ➡ My Steam page

#end of lines #I loooooooooove their work on the design <33333333 so pretty!!!!!!!!#Lola plays games #personal

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mxanigel · 1 year

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For the fic writing ask: 10, 11, and 15 for An emotion I won't name

(You know I want to hear more about our shared Warden/Anders interest!!)

The noise I made seeing this ask 😆💜 thank you!! Prepare for rambling~

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Would it make sense if I said it was chosen for me? When I first played DAO Awakening last year, which happened after I first completed DA2, I was bowled over by how different Anders felt as a character. My Warden for said Awakening run happened to be my arcane warrior who had little headcanoned content by that point but didn't feel right as a female character. Comparatively, and unexpectedly, their interactions with Anders DID feel right. More natural than how they fit with their companions during Origins. One day, I had a random image land in my brain of Anders cornering Neri in a dark Keep hallway, and from that point forward the two of them became a potential romantic pairing. Though I couldn't figure out how that would work, especially given DA2, and obviously Awakening lacks a romance system to help me get ideas. So I wrote a one-shot to see how it might work, fell in love with the pairing in part because Awakening Anders helps Neri accept themself, realized I couldn't stop at a one-shot, and now I have an entire worldstate centered around Neri. With possible fic content planned out through DAI. Because it takes a long time for Neri to finally name the emotion they feel for Anders and even longer for them to confess that to him.

Also, I eventually commissioned art of that hallway scene~ (by Jack, @/YogSothott on Twitter)

11: What do you like best about this fic?

Other than the answer to #15 below, I'd say it's the emphasis on communicating with others, whether as friends or found family or lovers. And the damage that can be done when communication is poor or absent (see fic title lolsob). This idea extends to explicit consent regarding intimacy, to Anders accepting and encouraging Neri to act in ways that align with their identity, and to Neri navigating the line between friendship and being in command (like calling out Oghren over something he did post-battle in chapter 7). There's also the element of choosing what to (or not to) communicate, because we have parts of ourselves we don't always want to share with others.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

"An emotion I won't name" is super special to me for helping me explore my own identity, alongside challenging me because of how different Neri and I are in other ways. Neri is demiromantic and pansexual and seeks physical intimacy but fears emotional vulnerability. I'm on the other end of the spectrum for most of those traits, lol. But we're both nonbinary, and I'm more accepting of that about myself by writing Neri. Especially by writing their story in first-person POV, which enables me to inhabit their mind more directly, to see what they see and feel what they feel. They're also a slightly unreliable narrator, not that they necessarily realize that.

It's impacted my other fics in evolving ways, too. I think I'm a better writer for attempting first-person POV. I'm now more willing to play loose with canon because altered events in Neri's Awakening journey have cascading impacts for what transpires in DA2 and DAI. I also got to create characters I may never have imagined otherwise: Champion Dana Hawke, Inquisitor Raven Cadash, non-Warden Heather Cousland. All characters who now mean a lot to me.

Link to the fic for anyone curious:

(rated M, agender Warden/Anders, multiple chapters with NSFW content, ongoing)

#thank you for the ask!#fanfic author ask game #Neri Surana #Anders #agender Warden/Anders #An emotion I won't name #oof I'm feeling all the feels (in a good way)

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healthserviceplace · 6 days

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Exploring the Power of Gratitude in Mental Health

Thankfulness, the practice of acknowledging and cherishing the good things in our lives, has the power to improve our mental health in profound manners. By developing an outlook of thankfulness, we may improve our overall well-being, increase resilience to stress, and foster greater emotional equilibrium. Here's how thankfulness can benefit your psychological wellness:

1.Shifts Focus: Giving thanks fosters us to shift the emphasis from what we lack to what we possess. Instead of elements of our lives, we redirect our energies to the benefits, no matter how small. This shift in standpoint can help reduce concentrating on problems or negative e feelings of frustration and enhance feelings of happiness and fulfillment.

2.Increases Resilience: Giving thanks acts as an armor towards hardship and stress, helping us get around life's challenges with more resilience. When we recognize and value the good things in our lives, even during times of difficulty, we develop a sense of optimism and optimism that allows us to persevere in the face of adversity.

3.Promotes Positive Emotions: Giving thanks stimulates the brain's honor centers, leading to the emission of neurotransmitters that make one feel good such as dopamine, or and serotonin. This results in an overall increase in favorable feelings, including pride, happiness, and contentment. Regularly voicing gratitude can elevate mood and boost overall state of mind.

4.Enhances Relationships: Giving thanks improves social connections and promotes a sense of intimacy and proximity in relationships. When we express thankfulness toward others, whether by means of words, gestures, or acts of compassion we improve our bonds and cultivate an encouraging circle of friends and loved ones. Strong interpersonal relationships are essential for mental health and can provide invaluable assistance during difficult periods.

5.Improves Self-Esteem: Giving thanks promotes a sense of self-worth and gratitude for oneself. When we acknowledge our own advantages, successes, and beneficial traits, we develop greater confidence and trust in ourselves. This favorable view of oneself can protect against feelings of unworthiness and promote a better sense of self.

6.Encourages Mindfulness: Giving thanks supports us to be mindful and present in the present moment. By concentrating on what we're happy for, we develop a more profound understanding of our surroundings, situations, and interactions. This meditation reduces rumination on past remorse or worries about tomorrow, which results in greater satisfaction and tranquility.

Conclusion:

Integrating thankfulness into our daily lives can be as simple as remaining a gratitude notebook, writing thank-you notes, or conveying our gratitude to others. By making thankfulness a regular practice, we can harness its transformative capacity to promote mental health and well-being. Dr. Sanjay Jain, a best psychiatrist in Jaipur and promotes individuals to incorporate admiration practices into their daily psychiatrists in Jaipur, recognizes the vital role of gratitude in building mental health routines. Through an integrated approach to behavioral care, folks can harness the power of thankfulness to cultivate greater resilience, goodwill, and emotional well-being.

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cherryjuiceblues · 4 months

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i just wanted to say that i love your work so much. 🫶🏻 i recently started posting my own work, and so far people have mostly liked what i post. i’m getting some traction but i still am feeling a little down, and it’s not that i feel pressured or anything, but i feel like everything i write will never measure up to some other things that people post. and i think im in my own head too much. like i want to keep posting but i feel like im going to burn out too quickly if i keep writing 12k word fics, but i have no idea how to make them shorter. i also feel like people only read for the smut, but i wanna write fluff too :( idk if that even makes sense but id love your input either way if you have the time to even read this 🥺 just feeling a little sad and unmotivated today i guess.

hello lovely! thank you so much! i appreciate having you here <3

i find it super super important to emphasise how normal it is to have off days and to be down about a lack of motivation. take it from someone who has a lot of them !! every single writer will feel that way, either once in a while or more regularly, and i want to reassure you that it's okay. we have to ride that wave and let ourselves struggle, step away from the writing and take a break even though it can make you feel unproductive. the moment you stop enjoying writing is when you know you need a break. there is no rule that states you have to write every day, or even every week. your motivation will come back, and when it does, even if you are inspired to write something new and completely unrelated to your current wips, you should let yourself write them. i know i struggle so much when i force myself to write something i'm simply not in the mood for. but i'll always feel better for creating something, even if it's not what i had originally planned for.

feeling like you'll never compare to other writers is something a lot of us struggle with. which is funny, in a way, considering we're all generally a very supportive bunch and never put people down but that imposter syndrome is a tricky thing !! i know myself and friends suffer with it and, to be transparent, it's not something i've figured out how to deal with. i like to think that i am kind to myself, but i know i'm not really. i put myself, and my writing, down all. the. time. i'd say my biggest advice would just be to remind yourself that you're not alone with this feeling. and numbers NEVER define your skill or your worth. tumblr can be super tricky to feel in control of when reblogs are the only way of getting your stuff seen, and it's impossible to force those interactions. it is the most frustrating thing when you pour your heart and soul into something and it doesn't do as well as you'd hoped, especially when you know a simple reblog could boost it like crazy! but despite that, don't feel discouraged. it can be helpful to have a circle of other writers to turn to. it's lovely to make friends, and reblog each other's work and praise one another, it's one of my favourite parts about having a blog!

when it comes to word counts... i also struggle with writing shorter pieces. i feel unsatisfied with myself if i don't hit an internal goal, or if i don't feel my piece is detailed enough to be perceived as good. but i've actually made it a goal of mine this year to just write what i want, when i want. to not worry whether it is 2k or 20k, or whether it is something completely new or related to a previously written fic. because again, the moment writing stops being fun, is the moment you need to step away. and i am so lucky to have such a supportive bunch of people that are always reassuring me that they'll wait, and that they'll read whatever i want to post. it creates a lovely safe space that i am confident you could have too!!

smut is definitely favoured, it's something all writer's notice. that generally, smutty pieces get more notes. i would always advise that you should write whatever you like and to never let notes be the deciding factor. fluff still has a HUGE audience!! and i know how discouraging a lack of notes can be but i would still always press on. if you're enjoying it, keep writing, keep posting, be patient and you'll cultivate a lovely following. these things do take time but if this is your thing, then it is so worth it <3

and congratulations for putting yourself out there at all! posting can be really scary when you start off. trying to figure out how you want to appear online, how you want to present your writing, and even improving your skills in front an audience, it can all feel very daunting sometimes. so well done for doing it !!

i hope my ramblings are helpful even just a little bit !! my inbox is always open if you want to reach out. sending hugs to you, i hope you feel better. and know you're never alone in how you feel <333

#anon

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venomous-spade · 5 months

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I'll lay out a few facts. It's actually the more empathetic people who fall victim to mirroring drug abuse because they're the same active neurons.

We're wired to view people as similar to us, rather than different.

That's how the human brain works.

At our root as human beings, we are hardwired to view people as being like ourselves.

Mirroring plays a huge roll in the EDM community, that's why the most empathetic people end up getting fucked over. Usually the emotionally immature, mentally ill, good hearted people are the ones being victimized, because the human brain is hardwired for these empathetic people to view others as having the same motives and care as they do.

The human brain is constructed to create close environments full of people who feel connected by seeing everyone around them the same way they view themselves when it isn't accurate.

So, because they view people as they view themselves, especially younger people, they're willing to partake in activities as a method of feeling closer to them. That's why young kids are drawn to that community, and it's the biggest reason they shouldn't be allowed in it.

Because they are more likely to view human mirroring as a reality, and not understand that people's actions speak louder than their own empathy and desire for human connection.

Like the people in the world who treat all their female friends as a danger to their relationship. Because they view other women the way they view themselves, human mirroring does that. Human mirroring is a huge motivation for how people treat each other, and the most empathetic people are likely to do it.

Because how do you view from another person's perspective, positive or negative?

Empathy. That's why "dark empaths" are a thing.

You can see from their perspectives under the assumptions of what your motives would be in their place, that's what mirroring does. Being empathetic doesn't mean you care about other people at all. Empathy is being able to relate to others on a human level, a lot of people take advantage of empathy. You can take your ability to see from someone else's perspective and use it to stab them in the back, people do that all the time. I'd know. Exhibit A, the scars on my back.

It's a scientifically proven fact that human behavior and interactions are anchored this way.

This is why I always say this: You are like your five closest friends. Because human mirroring is that powerful.

You don't have to lack empathy to hurt your friends. Just because you're not trying to, that doesn't mean you're not responsible.

You can be empathetic and have no accountability.

You can be empathetic and refuse to acknowledge your role in how things turned out.

You can be empathetic, but still care about yourself more than everyone else in the room.

Empathy doesn't make you a good person. Empathy doesn't even mean you'll take the opportunity to grow and do better. Empathy is only as good as your intentions for other people.

Or, on the flip side, you can use your empathy to know exactly how to hurt people.

Empathy does nothing for anyone around you, when you're willing to step on others to get what you want.

It never did.

Empathy isn't a badge that absolves you of the damage you cause.

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transmissionsfromthebattlefield · 7 months

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Farmers' Market

A big part of why I started blogging in the first place was that I realized that the internet in recent times has become, for lack of a better term, dumbed down with academic cred. I see graphics of quotes from well known intellectuals of the past and sometimes present reposted ad nauseam all the time. The implication of intellectual engagement with the least amount of effort.

The fact that this is so common—and that I often see the same platitudes posted by multiple people across the span of a few days—feels very endemic of the current state of online discourse. Radically minded thinkers putting up their hands and putting their fingers to the keyboard in an emphatic burst of passion...only to share a doom-confirming quotation from a source seen as reliable, with any additional commentary boiling down to an annoyingly exasperated sigh and "yep". That's not even two words.

Where do we go as a country when the best commentary we can muster on our society is someone else's theory regurgitated verbatim with little thought regarding the content as long as it sets off nicey bells in our heads? In today's America, we choose a side and ride it 'til we die, only activating those wonderful Critical Thinking Skills when it's to demonize someone who even slightly leans towards the opposition. That's not freedom of thought. That's mental slavery. Your freedom is the price you pay to come off to your friends as "right".

It is almost as if this glory of proving yourself "right" to the nebulous entity that is whoever may be observing you at any given time, outweighs the formation of actual solution and action that can lead to the solutions you want. It's a damn shame that the legacy of these smart-whipped creatives who wrote the originals, if we keep sitting on our asses, is going to be "all we did in reaction was sigh".

In our interactions with the wider world we always see ourselves as the little guy. This transcends any sort of societal status or access to privileges; everyone loves to be a victim. Because of this we embrace negativity and wallow in it. If ignorance is bliss, then abject suffering must mean we are intelligent, and intelligence equals righteousness. We conduct ourselves to these standards of being the most "right" to such a degree that we simply don't take action. Action is normally messy. Individually crafted politics are inherently so. Getting mustard on your sweatshop-new, hackney-slogan t-shirt isn't a good look.

This is because we have taught ourselves that humans have an apex and we ourselves, to ourselves, are that apex. It's the mythos of the little girl getting depressed by her peaches and cream Barbie, except we are are the little girl and the doll simultaneously. We plasticize ourselves because we are faced against not just established systems of power and economics but the will of human nature itself, and not much can be done to radically alter the not so skillfully applied makeup of humankind. We are still humans underneath all the buildup, vested with the history proven capacity to make radical good and to make radical evil, though we often forget the latter attribute since we don't like thinking about scary things and prefer reducing anyone who doesn't agree with us to a subhuman, a fascist ball of primordial ooze. (As if we're not collectively swimming in it.)

It's much easier to blame everything on a redneck who lives five states away. Obviously the blame is on the big guy only as it applies to the little guy, but the other kind of little guy than you. This is unity, right? This is getting things done?

When we prune ourselves over like this for others we deny ourselves the do, because doing requires room for error and failure, and belly flopping isn't the "right" thing to do. So we become complacent to what ails us instead. We may know the truth that the people running the asylum are the real crazies, but we're so obsessed with proving our own manufactured sanity that we can't let ourselves be seen as even 1/24 delirious. But you have to be a little unhinged to have the ambition to actually try. You have to let that side of yourself be seen.

But ambition isn’t a good look. It gets you looked at funny at best and gets you locked up at worst. So we call for our armchair revolutions all the while.

If we keep up this lethargy then maybe the only solution is to keep our eyes peeled to the heap of melted plastic as it slowly disintegrates into the landfill earth. To keep doing the same thing we’ve been doing. Half life after half life.

But it does not have to be this way.

#blog #long post #rant #humans

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