#transmisogyny cw

[biracy]

In general quite fascinating how "boys who liked bionicle are girls now" is called "gender essentialism" by like Radqueer Terfs DNI posters but "the thread of Girlhood Uterus Vulva Trauma connects all (cis) butches and trans men, so that's why I can reblog photos of trans men to my men dni blog in my #dyke tag" isn't. Lmao

#i say as a dykething obviously. it's still uncomfortable #honestly why i don't do the Boydyke thing despite that technically being true. also bc bisexuals aren't allowed to be boydykes #open mick night #lgbt #gender #transphobia cw #transmisogyny cw #<- as that is why the former is considered Gender Essentialism. i know this don't worry

[mr-ribbit]

gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.

i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.

to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community

to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.

so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue

"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"

I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.

"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"

I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.

there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?

there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic

also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.

"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"

they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?

also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????

and another thing:

it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?

focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.

especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.

#discourse cw #transmisogyny cw

[catgirl-kaiju]

something worth pointing out in the case of Tumblr CEO @photomatt 's statement regarding predstrogen is the very clear side stepping of the conversation being had. the ask he chose to respond to as part of his statement was asking about tumblr's transmisogyny problem, and what he is commenting on is tumblr's transphobia problem.

transmisogyny is certainly related to transphobia, but the two are not the same. i've seen plenty of trans folks who are guilty of transmisogyny and have even been harassed by such individuals on this very website. he repeatedly refers to transphobia and accusations of tumblr staff being transphobes throughout the statement, but never once brings up transmisogyny. perhaps he is unfamiliar with the term, but he could look it up and read up on it before responding to a question directly asking about it. he is very clearly not doing his due diligence in addressing these concerns.

he mentions tumblr having "LGBT+ including trans people on staff," but this is not especially helpful in assessing tumblr's transmisogyny problem. based on this we don't know how many trans people, whether or not there any transfem or TMA folks (who might understand the nature of transmisogyny better than TME people) on staff, what positions these queer people hold in the company, or whether or not any of tumblr's queer employees are on the moderation team. and it's understandable why some of these specifics are left out; you don't want to put any staff members in danger of being doxxed or harassed, especially if they're vulnerable marginalized people. however, it seems to me a gross oversight to not mention if there are any trans folks working on the moderation team.

i think it's also a huge misstep to focus on predstrogen so singularly when the conversation about her account being nuked is part of a larger conversation about transmisogyny. what this reveals, too, is transmisogyny playing an active role in the decision to ban her for life. one of the aspects of transmisogyny is viewing transfem folks as especially and uniquely dangerous. i'd like @photomatt to ask himself if he would have taken "threats" like the one cited as seriously if they came from a cis person or a TME trans person. really reflect on that, Matt. i also put "threat" in scare quotes here because, frankly, it's pretty clear that said comment is a cartoonish and outlandish example of violence used to demonstrate that the intent to harm is not literal. i do this all the time both on here and in real life. telling a friend i'm going to "maul them to death" over a minor annoyance is a comedic way of expressing frustration in a way that communicates it's not actually a big deal. saying something like "i want them to explode after falling down the stairs when trying to evade a falling piano full of knives" about a public figure or someone who is negatively affecting your life works as a way of demonstrating the intensity of your feelings while not veering into territory where it sounds like you're literally planning an assassination attempt. if you're reading this, Matt, i hope you can begin to understand the difference between something like:

and a real actual harassment, like:

y'know, all actual comments and posts i've received on this website, and reported with detailed explanations for why i'm reporting them but never heard back from the moderation team about the situation. i have no idea if anything was ever done about any of these people sending me bigoted violent messages because no one ever does follow-up. the only time i've ever received follow-up on a report was when i reported an account for promoting self-harm in the form of anorexia. that's it. one time in the over a decade i've been on this website.

how does all of this sit with you, Matt?

#tumblr #transmisogyny #transphobia #predstrogen #tumblr staff #tumblr ceo #death threats #anon hate #transphobia cw #transmisogyny cw #violence cw

[cykelops]

terfs establishing women do not have thick body hair, strong features, or deep voices, things that just coincidentally favor race science

#transmisogyny cw #transmisogyny

[fictionkinfessions]

That late 4/13 kinfession that mentions the Toblerone is referring to an actual irl event where a transfem Homestuck fan found a Toblerone, so it's kind of fucked up to call her a "freak." Positivity towards Johns is fine but you could do it without being a transmisogynist.

They had me in the first half, but I have no idea what the second half had meant. Positivity about au canons is cool but this isn't that. Not at the expense of trans woman.

I'm genuinely sorry for posting that. I'm unaware of the toblerone reference and what it meant, and what context it gave the first sentence. It's been deleted. We don't do that shit here and anon and others can delete their blogs about it.

Connie / mod party cat

#fictionkinfessions #mod response #not confessions #mod party cat #transmisogyny cw #homestuckkin #for blacklisting #ableist language cw

[t4tails]

trans women are still amab they still use amab privlege to oppress transmascs, transfems do not have oppression like transmascs u see transfems oppressing transmascs and using there prilvlege and deny they have it? baddel FREAK

idgaf lol

#og post #ask #anon #transmisogyny cw

[edgebug]

people who don't want trans women in womens' video game or chess tournaments really are saying from the bottom of their hearts "trans or cis, doesn't matter to me 😤 I hate ALL women 🤗" and tbh thats progressive... equality win!¹

_______

¹ This post is a joke.

#the double whammy of transmisogyny and just plain sexism is astounding #'obviously trans women are men therefore there's a DISTINCT intelligence advantage over those poor stupid CIS WOMEN' #like! wow! wrong on both counts you stupid assholes! #transmisogyny cw #sexism cw

[psiie]

UPDATE: I have this as my pinned post, and feel it prudent to go ahead and use it’s visibility as such to post these resources; daily clicks for palestine donate to feed refugees in rafah spreadsheet of gofundmes to evacuate families fundraiser for esims for gaza orgs to donate to previous post: Here’s the blocklist, all these people are either blatant or crypto TER/Fs. I would appreciate reblogs to spread awareness and consider any r/adfems in the notes as voluntary additions to this list. This is also being regularly updated- check back for more people to block!

celtyradicalfem ironkook nosaviorofyoursnofriendofmine chocobbunnii ignis-divine-eleison scarletthighsandscars swagstagg petalsmiles greenquadra goldradd told-everyone-real-facts wildwomanradfem kronkk sapphic-schizo rickandmorterf retiredcicer0 kiefbowl fall-and-shadows rose-teeth radically-bitter-coffee thesinisterspinster andwhimsicality gogopierogi fernstream australian-red-cedar transoffensive turfwithane butchviking female-prince semisicilian deaddruid pothead-paisan vizualmagician radhyena missingprincess feminist-violet kanelia mexicandentist radical-robin venusrapture witchesversuspatriarchy butchfeminist gendiebrainrotreceipts tervacious a-womb-of-ones-own pink-pill-stacy heterorealism corporate-terf homopsychology spider-terf radbelinda long-legged-socialist the-ballad-of-slutch-nixon gccdnight disillusionedmonster kamillia normallesbian beatifiq overtlydinosaurian female-eren omnivore-odyssey vegfam radi-cali m1sandryy likeustoleit shychili femsolid hologramhitgrrrl bang-ttaeng radicalitch terf-benry ancientdriftwood danylover longingandfear lesorus wingednightmaregarden butchlesbianz radfemfox4 milkteabetch gyngar wyvern-of-the-evening antigendersurge dawn-mavro choppedtragedyrebel blue-sappho yeh-shuhua-realone patronsaintofvulvas lesplendant-quetzal radmista

the-rainbow-lesbian

butchazepam

#blocklist #transmisogyny cw #transphobia cw

[mymlody]

for any egl community members and lolita fashion wearers, just letting you know that tumblr user meowshmelo / faintingangels is a radfem/TERF who has sent gore and transphobic rhetoric to transfem lolitas and brags about it

i would recommend just blocking and not interacting whatsoever because any sort of conversation with them will probably just enable their innate Radfem Persecution Complex 

#transmisogyny cw #egl community #egl fashion #lolita fashion #note

[familyabolisher]

"used to be" lol

#.txt #transmisogyny cw

[fates-theysband]

like if your first thought on seeing a cis guy in a skirt just like, existing is “predator trying to look non-threatening” I think you might be a smidge transmisogynistic still even if your target isn’t actually a trans woman

#transmisogyny cw

[creekfiend]

many replies to the h*dgehog-moss post are so frustrating like why do you think we have the phrase crypto terf if not to describe people who are intentionally masquerading as guys who don't hold wretched genocidal views and trying very hard to conceal the fact that they hold them

HHHHHHH

Anyway. in 2020 someone messaged me saying "she's a terf" and I was like "damn really" so I scrolled back like MANY PAGES in her blog and while the posts themselves do not feature anything horrific, obviously, if you carefully track the people who are in the notes, they're terfs. ppl replying frequently are terfs. in 2020 the post that confirmed it for me was she linked to a study about how "men are dying of COVID at higher rates" (simplified headline obv) and the replies of that post? were FULL of people being like "good, xys should die" lol

if anyone EVER said that kind of shit on a post of mine I would immediately 1. delete the comment 2. block the person and 3. issue a statement about how those views are not welcome on my blog. silence ???? considering the shit she posted on her old blog? yeah nah. unacceptable.

if ur buddies are in yr notes advocating the death of my friends I do get to hate how popular your fucking twee llama blog is actually.

this is a level of participation in bigotry and hatred where just quietly not posting anymore is not enough. because you were The Bigot Queen, you’re embedded in a network of bigots, your bigotry blog links to the new blog, and those people are still following you. so if you don’t believe that shit anymore you’ve GOT to block those people and make an announcement saying “I no longer believe that trans women are evil rapists who should die btw" lol

also would encourage cis ppl to examine their immediate reaction to learning her identity if it is "oh no the cute llama blog :(" guys come on

#transmisogyny cw #like genuinely vile shit guys #if you have said the shit she has said you do actually have to confirm you no longer believe it #and not keep being worshipped by other evil people #or else yeah i dont trust you!!!!! #ANYWAY JUST BLOCK THAT SHIT #ARGH

[aronarchy]

TERFs are on a whole new level.

#JKR #JKR cw #MLs #misgendering cw #transphobia cw #transmisogyny cw

[fictionkinfessions]

Genuinely not about any specific person, but it’s a little tasteless to me how some people who kin c!Wilbur are reacting to the news of him being an abuser. In the wake of news like that coming out, now’s really not the time to center yourself and your kin related feelings on the matter. It’s not just him, it’ll be things like Harry Potter kin when JK Rowling got outted as a terf or I saw some genshin kin in the wake of the stuff about Tighnari’s VA. You’re allowed to have your feelings and I’m certainly not going to stop you, but sometimes when things are so extremely serious you need to take a step back and think about whether or not it’s an appropriate time to spread positivity for your kintype or kin posts in general. Idk if that makes sense, but not everything needs to be public and especially not in the immediate aftermath of something like this. People victimized by the creator of the media might not see it, but other victims absolutely will, and you absolutely will be viewed differently by them just like any other weird fan centering themself.

x

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #dreamsmpkin #wilbur soot cw #jk rowling cw #harrypotterserieskin #terfs cw #transmisogyny cw #ask to tag #poie issue #mod party cat

[t4tails]

Friendly Reminder that Predstrogen/Avewy openly rape threatened a trans man <3

https://www.tumblr.com/gendiebrainrotreceipts/743065410048589824/

ive gotten a few asks like these and i normally just block + delete but this is the first one to actually send a link which i immediately 🤨 so i checked it out and while yeah its obviously radfem + transandrophobia truther bs its not even a screenshot of her saying anything 😭😭 its a link to a screenshot of somebody else saying she said something with zero proof 💀

#og post #ask #anon #transphobia cw #transmisogyny cw #ask to tag #if u are going to lie about something at least do it better than this thats honestly so embarrassing...

[effemimaniac]

I really wish that chaser had a more clearly defined definition in peoples minds as "someone who has a trans fetish" which is obviously problematic for many reasons. I want to just live my life without being labelled as a chaser for sleeping with a lot of trans women for non trans related reasons. I'm a woman who loves all women and the type of women ive slept with shouldn't define me but it is what it is :,)

I mean even "has a trans fetish" can be pretty nebulous depending on interpretation. people use the words fetish and fetishisation to mean a wide amount of things, often entirely morally inert patterns of attraction are lumped in with the "problematic". personally I think it's the patterns of behaviour and beliefs that need to be defined and criticised. take for example the classic bi dude chaser that says trans women are ~the best of both worlds~, the problem with that isn't that he likes women more than men and dick more than pussy, that's completely morally neutral. in fact, it's a good thing that there are people out there who love us in body and soul and see our bodies not as something lesser but as equal or even preferable. the problem with it is the framing and context to it that sees us as something in-between or half-and-half in a novel way, to be consumed. it's the other side of the coin of transmisogyny, the social expectation of disgust fuels desire. the serious problem comes when you date a guy like this and find he doesn't treat you like the best of any world. in fact, he doesn't want you to be a part of any of his worlds except for one. the problem is when guys (and not-guys) like this leverage their less common attraction to manipulate trans women starved of affection into damaging and degrading situations and relationships. chasers are a specific species of predator who have the advantage of their targets being conveniently socially disadvantaged and exploitable.

#transmisogyny cw #abuse cw #but like that's just the beginning of it really there's a lot you can say about chasers #I get the jokes (and make them myself) abt t4t chasers or w/e and sure it's funny #but on another level I think the watering down and ironic usage can have real dangers #trans women defined and described the chaser in order to keep each other safe #so that we are better at recognising when someone has ill intentions and can see the bait before the hook #like we still have to take it seriously