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shittybundaskenyer · 8 months

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✹ ▬ 𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐒

rating: Explicit pairing: Female Shepard x Garrus Vakarian summary: the Mako breaks down in a snowstorm on Noveria. Shepard is stuck with her turian friend after some things went sideways in one of the research labs. warnings: first time gone wrong (but then so right), sex pollen, so much kissing, just pure smut (what do you want from me??), does doing it in the Mako is considered car sex?, interspecies sex, love confessions, so much fluff, Garrus is too sweet for his own good word count: 3831

a/n: I had Mass Effect Legendary Edition on my PC for like a year and I'm now cursing myself why I've waited for so long to play the trilogy. The Bioware brainrot took me once more under its influence so I guess I'm going back to my roots. This is almost entirely is pure smut, I guess I can't write anything else nowadays but I'm embracing it now. So have this very rusty, messy love scene I wrote in a frenzy after finishing the trilogy. <33

MASTERLIST | ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

Noveria is cold and white and still beautiful in that strange way only death can be. It became the noose woven around Garrus’ own neck too, when it twirled his fate and Shepard's own together in form of a messy string.

It only started becoming strange when Shepard started to tear her armor off of her body, but by then all common sense was out, laying dead in the relentless snowstorm. She became feverish, smelling so sweet, like summer, like sun-warmed earth, like arousal that Garrus had realized all too late. They were warned by the dangers of the labs surrounding Peak 15, the tower that was like an old pine ringed by fungi, all the rot and unethical discoveries blooming under the disguise of neat little buildings that twinkled in the darkened landscape—a constellation hiding in a thick cloud of dark matter.

He knows she was curious. He knows she only wanted to help, but Spirits, it will be the death of her one day, N7 or not, she’s only human. And she’s fragile, a goddamn glass cannon that can blow up the whole universe and crumble from hands that grip her a bit too tight at the same time.

Liara’s warning came too late, they had to cut to the chase and there was no time to think about the consequences of Shepard's stray shot breaking open the containment cell of an unnaturally lush, succulent little flower in one of the labs. It didn’t set in until they were in the Mako and she steered the dumb tank even more recklessly than she did it stone cold sober. A boulder came, then the half of the mountain too, raining down thick globes of fresh snow until the Mako was good and well stuck. She was sweating by then, skin hot and wet and her eyes wild and Liara offered to get help from one of the nearby labs, leaving Garrus to protect his commander with his life. From what, he didn’t know. There was nothing, only snow and wind and Shepard’s warmth all around them for miles. But time trickled by like water on a glass window after a storm, slow, sluggish, and Shepard couldn’t keep herself in line anymore.

She pleaded for a caress she always wanted from him and he wanted to give her everything instead.

(Maybe he loved her all along.)

And now, now Liara is gone and has been gone for hours, and Garrus pushes Shepard into the Mako's seat, his forehead meeting hers, something akin to a kiss only lovers do. Her skin is damp, her hair sticking to her face in messed up crimson ribbons and he tries to trace the constellations under her eye with a blunted talon when blood floods her cheeks, making them twinkle like stars adrift a sea of nebulae. The Mako is dark but not dark enough to hide the fire flickering in her gaze, shielded by a series of curved, dark lashes. Humans and their strange hair—eyebrows and lashes and thousands of fair fuzz that stand up as he moves his hand lover, to the vulnerable skin of her throat, swiping a thumb over her pulse that jumps wildly at the touch.

"Kiss me," she whispers, barely audible for the translator to pick up, and it almost sounds like music like this, a series of hisses and high notes, so he nuzzles his way closer to hear it once more, now pleading, the sound buzzing in her throat.

It's beautiful in a way.

"How?" he whispers against the side of her jaw, warm plates against cooler skin, and she puts a hand to his face, five fingers splaying over his colony markings, urging him upwards until her lips can brush over his mouth. It's strange. It's unbelievably soft. Then— wet as her tongue darts out and tries to coax his mouth plates apart.

He takes the leap and lets her in. Even if he has all the sharp teeth, even if it's wildly different from his own experiences. And Spirits, it feels good. It's tender—even though they started to tear at each other's armor before this, even though he has to clench his fingers into a fist before he scratches her in his hurry. This has to be gentle where nothing in the world is.

His tongue meets hers, and now he understands why humans like kissing so much. He does now too. Shepard makes a sound as he tastes the inside of her mouth, the blunt edge of her teeth and sucks in a breath when Garrus pulls back to gaze down at her and find her looking dazed.

"Alright?," he checks, always, afraid of fucking this precious thing up and Shepard has the audacity to smile. Full of teeth and curving lips, a flash of white in the darkness.

"I'm good," she knocks her forehead against his, nuzzling him, "really good."

Garrus kisses her again as an answer, bolder now, so much braver, and he kisses and kisses her until there's no more left to give, until there's no air in her lungs. Something new shines in her eyes, in the pool of darkness that is her pupils, dilated beyond belief, ringed by a thin strip of wild green, a black hole with a halo. Want. Need. Something more. Something unbelievable.

Garrus rumbles deep in his chest, a sound so low she can only feel its vibration against her sternum, the crook of her neck where his face finds a home. His subvocals sing so many things at once, a confession she can't understand, not yet. Contentment. Gratefulness. Lust. Love.

(Maybe I love you.)

She drags her hand across his face again, that delicate, soft hand that is only calloused in places where wielding a gun made the skin harder. She touches his fringe, and under it, where plates turn into the most vulnerable patch of hide he has on his body. His voice grows louder, more like a growl than a purr, and she smiles again, so pretty something under his keelbone jumps and bursts and flickers—a star being born.

"That's—," he starts and he's not proud of the way his voice trembles. "That's one way to give the night a quick start."

Shepard's fingers stop in their movement, but before she could pull away he takes a hold of her forearm and soothes a thumb over the inside of her wrist, guiding her back to that spot.

"Am I hurting you?"

"Spirits, no," he flicks a mandible at her, his way of smiling, and Shepard puts her mouth to his jaw as her confidence grows. Garrus can feel the plates at his sheath slowly parting and somehow he's hyperaware of her body trapped against his, her knee brushing his own, warm even through metal and ceramic plates.

They have to strip down that damn armor, like, right now.

But Shepard knows this, feels this too, and her hand disappears so she can grab the waist of his pants and tug on it, even though turian armor is not designed in a way that it could make it come off easily.

"Help me, will you?" she asks against the side of his mandible, face and incredibly soft lips still so close, her eyelashes brushing his jaw as she looks down between them in the dark and Garrus desperately wishes that he could feel that fluttering. Instead, he's stripping. The rest of his undersuit that was hanging by his hips goes lower when he unfastens every little clasp and belt he has around his spurs.

Shepard licks his mouth. He rumbles again, louder when the thin fabric of protective weave finally pools on the Mako's floor, and he's right up there against her, pressing close, so close, until his keel digs between her breasts and his side is framed by her knees and he kisses her the human way, with so much tongue and want it leaves her breathless.

"How much time do we have?" he asks against the underside of her ear, finding a soft spot there, one that pulls a whimper from her.

"Barely any," she hisses and lets him nibble on the curve of her neck. "Gonna make the most of it?"

"Trying to," he smiles, mandibles catching her messy hair, blood red on silver, hands going up to cradle her nape, to get lost in that soft sea of crimson.

Shepard likes this, likes the feel of his hide on her skin and she wants more, wants no barriers in those minimal, quiet gaps the differences of their bodies create. Negative space filled with heat and some unintelligible emotion, something like summer, something like home. She melds her body to his and Garrus can't help the low resonance his subvocals start to make.

"Am I hurting you?" she whispers as she lays tiny kisses on his neck, just beside the edge of the plates shielding his spine. "You're trembling."

"No, I just—," his breath hitches as those kisses turn into gentle nips. Right where a bondmark would go. Spirits, he's slipping. She can't know this, she can't— "You just found all the good buttons to push."

He feels her smirk on his hide. He wants to have her mark here, even though the thought terrifies him.

(Maybe I love you.)

"You know I'm good at pushing buttons."

Garrus chuckles but it comes out rasped. He doesn't care. Not when he can feel her body vibrating, shivering as his hands finally roam downwards, onto her sides, her hips, the soft of her belly that is so blessedly bare.

He slides a talon along the muscles leading down, around the small divot in the middle, lower still where Shepard's already lifting her hips up to let him free her of her undersuit pants. There's still some fabric that remains, covering her most intimate parts but she grabs his hands and makes him grip the fabric of it in a hurry.

"Pull this down too," she whisper-commands and he obliges, skims the tips of his blunted talons over the jut of her hipbones, a feature all too familiar on a body made of infinite curves. It traps his gaze, the small hills and valleys, freckled here too, and hairy when he gazes lower, a trail of tiny red curls disappearing between lush thighs as he reveals more of her skin.

The undergarment only gets down one leg, dangles on the other by her knee when he pries apart her thighs, makes himself at home right in the cradle of them. This is all too fast and all too hot, but none of them complains as they meet in another heated kiss. She smells different like this, stronger, sweet and tangy and something else, pure arousal he realizes, and Garrus can't hold himself back any longer, can't will the swollen edges of his sheath to stay closed.

"Show me how to touch you," he asks, almost pleads, because damn, he can't be selfish with her, not when he trusts her with his life and wants all the happiness the world can offer for her. That too, is a confession he's not ready to make, not for himself and not for her, but Shepard stops him in his thoughts as she puts her hand back right under his fringe, driving him wild.

"None of that right now," she pants, breathless as his hands go bruising on her hips. "I just want you inside me."

Fuck, this was not the way Garrus thought he would die.

"I don't want to hurt—" she interrupts him with another kiss, then a hand on his stomach, low enough to almost graze the plates on his groin.

"Please, Garrus," it's a plea. Broken and rasped. Raw, like a fresh wound. Why is she suffering?

"Don't let me hurt you. I could not live with myself and the consequences."

"You're sweet," she smiles quietly, looking up at him from under the shadow of those long lashes, eyes burning with fire and want and that same thing that eats his heart alive, while it still beats a wild rhythm only for her.

Garrus touches a hand between her legs, follows the trail of fascinating hair to where it parts in a seam of flesh, soft folds hiding a hot, wet warmth. It's familiar enough, so much more slick and so much smaller, but there's give in the muscle lower, where his finger finally dips inside her. Spirits, that’s—

She angles her hips, and moans, right beside his ear when his finger slips deeper, almost to the last knuckle in one go and damn if that's not something he'll remember for the rest of his life.

"C'mon," her lips brush the word against his mandible. He puts his forehead to hers and pulls his hand away, moving her instead, three fingers splayed on the jut of a hipbone.

It takes a little more shuffling, a little more angling and gripping for him to slot himself right at the apex of her thighs, her warmth scorching here, a sun, a red giant star, her wetness smearing on the bare hide of his stomach and then he's holding her firm and letting his sheath finally, blessedly open, his cock sliding out and into her in a slow, perfect motion.

Shepard doesn't breathe. She can't. Garrus can feel her shuddering against his keel as he keeps filling her, making way for himself inside her even though there's barely any. He never thought she could— that she would have all of him, like this, with her leg cramping up around his hip, with her throat full to bursting with unsaid curses and whimpers. His subvocals scream, his mind fogged by the feeling of her oh so close, so perfect, so beautiful like this, with her hands bruising his neck and her lips open on some silent shout.

"Fuck, Garrus I—," there's a hitch in her breath, then a fluttering squeeze right on his cock, her muscles clenching up. He's gonna lose his mind just like how he lost control of his voice.

(I love you.)

“I got you,” he murmurs instead, eyes half-closed, hands still gripping her waist. “I got you sweetheart.”

Shepard squirms, pulls his face right down to her, then lower, into the crook of her neck and a deep urge surfaces in him, an instinct buried deep under centuries of civilized life and culture, yet it was never erased from his genes. He evolved like this, with the want, the need, to bite, to mark something that he wants to forever keep his own. Turians mate for life. If she leaves now, he thinks he will die. Can another soul be ripped from his own? He would gladly lay in a cold grave with her. Would follow her to the end of the universe and back, just so he can protect her. Shield the one that wants to keep the world from crumbling. Travel through all the stars and Mass Relays laying dormant, see all the wild emptiness and beauty of the galaxy and it would still be nothing compared to the way she looks up at him now.

There’s water collecting at her pinched brows; sweat, he remembers, and he lifts a hand there to swipe it away. Her eyes are wet too, glossy, glinting in the low light like a starry night sky over home.

“Garrus—” she presses out between her teeth, her face scrunched up in a frown of pain-pleasure he assumes, because she never makes a move to push him away, to halt this perfect joining. He hopes it’s okay. He hopes he’s not fucking this up. Losing her after this would be a killing blow. A heart-shaped bullet hole right on his heart.

“Just tell me how,” he takes her cheek in his palm, angles her so that he can kiss her. Slowly. Softly. It’s a fleeting thing that ends with her nipping on his mouth, his tongue, just to get his attention. Like his every nerve was not focused on her anyway from the start.

“Please move,” she murmurs against his mandible, her body squeezing him tight, making him groan. He pulls back a little, testing, careful, always so afraid of hurting her, his tough girl, but Shepard smiles and it’s enough to make him thrust shallowly into her. “Yeah, you feel so good.”

Garrus’ vision whites out for a second as her insides tug him back inside, so warm and so wet that a messy patch is already forming between their bodies, his sheath hitting her folds, the friction blinding, and the sight even more as he looks down, fringe tangled into her hair, and in the darkness he finds himself nestled deep, her cunt stretched around him, glistening in their combined want.

He moves, spirits, he moves. And his chest rumbles and his hands shake and his mandibles twitch at her cheek and his heart aches so damn hard it makes his breaths get stuck in his lungs like trapped creatures in a bone cage.

(I love you so damn much.)

She moves with him like a tide, like water rising on an endless black ocean alight with stars, then falling back, and even though he knows she's the most horrible dancer the galaxy has, she follows the steps of this tango by heart. Maybe because it's wanted. Maybe because it's with him. He desperately wishes that it would be true.

"I won't last long like this," his voice is barely picked up by the translator and he knows this, hopes that she doesn't mind the sounds he makes. They're real. So perfectly clear in their meaning, so sure in expressing something he's not yet ready to say when she can understand.

(I love you, I love you, I love you.)

She puts a palm to his stomach, just above his sheath, five lithe fingers mapping out the narrow lines of his sides, and damn, it makes his cock twitch, makes him thrust in roughly for the first time. There's a sound of delight. It comes from her, head tipped back and lips smeared with spit and red strands of hair, like fresh blood after a good brawl.

"Yes," she breathes out, dragging him down to her, clinging to him tightly as he finally moves his hips in a hard, steady rhythm. His knees are gonna kill him later but it doesn’t matter because he’s with her, joined like lovers, like mates.

She takes his hand, leads it over her body, to the divot of her collarbones, her sternum, the dip of her stomach, then the soft of her belly where she makes him press down a little, makes him feel the distinct shape of him moving inside her. That's something entirely new.

It makes him even more aware of the fact that this small, fragile woman would take up a krogan in a fistfight and come out alive. It makes him lose his mind. It makes some sick, posessive part of him growl and rumble and hold her so tight he's sure her hips are gonna bruise.

"Shepard," he hisses, one hand gripping the seat behind her to find more leverage, her sounds getting louder, out of breath and high-pitched, his name a silent mantra only muttered with gaping lips. “Show me how to make you come.”

She whimpers, clutches his fingers tighter on her navel. The talons of his other hand tear the Mako’s seat behind her. She drags his palm over the mound of hairy flesh where they join, and he enjoys carding his talons through the curls, then she takes a thick finger and places the pad of it just above where he’s stretching her open with his cock, on a small bundle of swollen flesh that instantly makes her tighten around him. This is something he could never get used to—the tight warmth clinging to him like a second skin under Palaven’s unforgiving sun. He swipes his thumb over it, then draws a slow circle. The tightness becomes almost unbearable. He keens.

“Damn clever turian,” she hiccups, grinding into his touch, into his unsteady thrusts, her hand gripping his wrist instead, not guiding but trying to steady herself. “I’m so close, Garrus.”

He nuzzles her jaw at that, forehead meeting forehead after, then lips with plates, tongue with tongue. The kiss breaks off in a series of desperate gasps, and Garrus murmurs against her, “let me come with you. Senna, please I—”

“Love you,” she pants into the crook of his neck, teeth grazing him, and then biting in when he pushes his whole length into her, the stretch unbearable, her words ringing in his ears like endless echoes in a hallway made of dark matter and stardust, and he claims her, puncturing her shoulder and filling her cunt, his tie growing, the taste of her blood bursting on his tongue. Sweet. Salty. Iron. Just like her.

She tightens on him impossibly so, and then there’s a fluttering, her muscles spasming violently in an orgasm that makes her legs shake and her stomach jump. His thumb slowly stops moving on the bundle of flesh she showed him when her short nails dig forcefully into his forearm.

(I love you, I love you, I love you—)

Subvocals screaming, his whole body trembling, he finally releases her flesh, knocks his nose against hers until her eyes flutter open, dazed and unfocused, brimmed with tears, pupils dilated to infinity. She smiles, blunt teeth flashing white and blue in the low light, and it takes him a few seconds to realize that it’s his own blood on her lips.

He leans down to lick it off, to embrace her tighter, to feel the taste of her tingle in the back of his throat. She bit him. She marked him for life.

“I love you so damn much, baby.”

It’s out and it’s his own shot right through his heart, a shard of metal carved out just in the shape of her, and Garrus knows that nothing ever will be the same. The marks, the blood, his tie cradled by her fluttering warmth, his heart laying bare out in the snow, thawing in her warmth.

Turians don’t like the cold, but Shepard scorches and it's just the right way.

“Thank you,” she whispers, weak now, entirely spent, but not influenced by the poison of want anymore. “I know this was… not how a first date should’ve happened but…” she bites the bruised swell of her bottom lip and he smooths a hand over her cheek, brushing away sticky hairs from her face. “Can we… have a next time?”

Garrus flicks out his mandibles in a smile and hugs her tighter, reassuring, eyes full of hope and wonder and her own disheveled reflection, “I want all the next times with you.”

“Good,” her grin tickles his hide, mischievous now. “I’m looking forward to it.”

(I do too. I do, I do, I do.)

#mass effect #mass effect fanfiction #shakarian #shepard x garrus #garrus x shepard #garrus vakarian #commander shepard #oc: senna shepard #mass effect 1 #mass effect legendary edition #mass effect fanfic #shakarian fanfic #so um i wrote this while being sleep deprived #i'm so rusty #but heyy new babies i can obsess over #i cried so hard at the end of the trilogy i had to do something about it #you call it coping i call it the writer's muse

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dispatchwithlove · 8 months

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I'll have you know that I talked with friends ages ago about Shepard resting her cheek in his palm about how much trust you have to have bc god turians could rip you(a human) apart!

Then you put it in writing and I nearly combusted. I have to take some floor time.

I can tell that the fic is gunna destroy me in the best way

Dude, don't get me started on the topic of physical vulnerability in romance/sex! You already have though, so here goes, sorry (I'm not).

As an unashamed monster fucker/monster romancer, this is what it's all about! There is something so moving, so entrancing about a character finding safety, comfort, and pleasure from a character that possesses traits that frighten others, especially physically. Scenes where Belle softened her nerves and touched Beast tenderly shook me as a child! The bravery, vulnerability, and kindness it took is so touching. His huge mits that just swipe wolves away, the sharp claws on his thick fingers...and she just puts her tiny little hand in his, trusting him to be gentle with her! UGH! My heart.

Have you watched or read The Ancient Magus Bride? It's probably my favorite monster themed story. There's this scene where Elias (who looks scary even in his "normal" form) busts out into full scary monster mode and just SHREDS something that hurts Chise, and when it's over he's self conscious and ashamed, not wanting her to see him like that, and her reaction is so beautiful! She accepts him as is, and offers him assurance and kindness. UGH! My heart!

Monster fucking/romancing, to me at least, is all about accepting someone who's different, but it's also about finding comfort and safety in something you're supposed to fear. It's about finding beauty and attraction in features you're supposed to fear, like sharp claws/talons, sharp teeth, etc. It's about a character allowing themself to be vulnerable and trust that the other character is going to be tender. Because that's what love really is, right? Exposing your vulnerabilities to someone and trusting that they'll treat you with tenderness. That you'll open yourself up to someone, letting them see all of your imperfections and insecurities, and they'll still love you, protect you, be gentle with you. Portraying this emotional vulnerability through literal physical vulnerability just works so beautifully. It's a literal "you could hurt me right now, but I'm going to trust you and give myself to you anyway."

Ok, and there's also a lot of great play between pleasure and pain in sex scenes, if you're into that. Talons pinching into thighs, teeth raking across skin, etc.

So yes I will jump at any chance to depict this. Garrus and Shepard fit this so well because turians are apex predators, their teeth and talons are sharp, they look fast and agile, and god damn are they beautiful. And they're tall and have huge hands! They're ripe for monster fucking/romancing themes. In this fic in particular (it was titled Invisible String originally but the rewritten version will be titled and posted as Singularity) vulnerability and trust will play important roles in Shepard and Garrus's relationship, so of course I had to bust out some displays of trust juxtaposed with scary anatomy. Garrus in Archangel mode is a threatening sight (which I effing love), so having Shepard meet him and find comfort and safety in his presence gets my heart beating.

I'm so happy you enjoyed that little bit where she rests her cheek in his palm! There will be lots of Shepard seeking comfort from a dom-leaning Garrus in that fic.

I hope to post soon, but my silly brain is telling me it's not good enough yet so I keep poking at it. Crossing my fingers that the rest of the chapter makes you combust too 😊

Thanks for sending me this! I'll always get up on a podium to talk Shepard/Garrus, romance writing, and monster loving ❤️

#shakarian #garrus vakarian #commander shepard #garrus x shepard #shepard x garrus #elias ainsworth #the ancient magus bride #beauty and the beast #monster romance #monster fucking #asks and replies #monster writing

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sweatandwoe · 10 months

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Melting Point

Paring: Saren x GN!Reader MDNI Rating: Explicit Warnings: Hate sex (kind of), GN!Reader no parts described, Saren on top, P in hole, Dom/Sub undertones, Reference to knotting, Oral (Reader receiving) Word count: 1.1k

Mass Effect Brain Rot re-hit me enjoy some smut

Saren hates humanity.

He hates their policies, their passion, and their reckless drive for power. Humans were uncontrollable and only thought of bettering their own species instead of helping as a collective. The species as a whole was stubborn, too emotionally clouded in their processes both in the military and politics. His reasons are endless as to why his dislike of the species runs so deep.

But right now, he thinks he hates the most is how good they can feel.

The one beneath him is moaning, so loud. Humans were always so loud, and usually, it was more of an annoying sound with their lack of sub-vocals. But your noises and words are almost pleasurable on his ears.

A cry spills from your plush lips as he rolls his hips forward until his plates meet the soft skin of your ass, letting his cock slide so easily back into your hole. Just a little bit of his own natural lubricant and that was all it took. He could’ve warmed you up further but-

“I’m so close.”

-It was unnecessary, he had found.

His hips jerk, and you run a hand down your front to touch yourself. Saren had made no action to touch you himself, and now he can run his talons over your hips, dig them in as he lets go of the little regard he had for you already. Hearing your cries is all he needs to know you’re finding this pleasurable accompanied by the sensation of how you tighten around his cock.

Spirits, he hates humans. You arch your back, trying to take him deeper and he snarls. But you don’t take it as a threat, only gasping in pleasure at the noise. No self-preservation, he thinks, trying to be disgusted but you’re so warm, wet, and tight around his cock now. He can lean down, and lick at your throat as you arch it, letting the top of your head hit the mattress. Running his sharp teeth over your fragile skin, right over where a deep enough bite could kill, and you don’t snarl or hiss at him like a turian would. No, this human practically mewls, the attention he was giving to your neck only making your hand move faster, sweat beading on your brow.

So weak.

Yet, he’s digging his talons into the meat of your thighs next. Pulling you upwards, to hook his arms around your knees. Crouching instead of kneeling, so he can truly bury his cock in you while you let out more of those delicious little noises: soft little gasps and hurried little moans.

His plates bounce against your slick skin. And then dug into the plush feel of your ass, as he grinds his hips against you, while his cock is buried fully inside. Saren can even tilt his head back, and expose his throat because he knows this human won’t even attempt to harm him.

You wanted him to dominate you. There was no fight, the only battle had just been some small flirtations in a dark enough bar to make out each other's shapes, and then to his hotel room, with the lights dimmed. Then you had simply spread your attractive legs, gazing up at him with eyes too bright, and full of heat.

You’re cumming soon, tightening around him as you shout your pleasure. So loudly, with pride, as you let him know how good your pleasure feels. The pleasure he has caused within you.

He’s growling, grinding his hips to watch your eyelids flutter, the soft gasp leaving those lips he can’t stop looking at. There’s an urge to slide his tongue between those lips, to devour your little mouth, to feel you moan into his mouth. To taste you fully, to dip his head between your thighs afterward and lick you clean, so he could fill you again.

Saren hates humans because he wants too much from them.

When you raise your hand, he freezes. Pausing in his thrusts to watch your hand, not the one you had used to touch yourself, but the one that had been clawing at the sheets. It moves slowly to his face. Tracing over a mandible, and drawing his head forward. It was like a siren’s call with how his head dips, not even an ounce of fight.

Perhaps he hates you specifically for that. The warmth of your hand threatens to melt the years of ice he’s built.

Your lips part, and your eyes are warm still. Then you press softly beside his mouth plates and his mandibles twitch in your hand. “Inside. Saren, please.”

The words give him more pause, that you know who he is is problematic but nothing he couldn’t deal with. But his plates shift, and he can feel the base of him beginning to swell.

He snarls.

Gripping your thighs, he pushes your knees into your chest and pounds himself into you. His knot slowly growing as it threatens to press inside of you. And he is tempted, to see how well you could take it.

But he draws back from you when he does finish, with a hiss and a grunt, inside just as you had asked for. His cock throbbing and his knot aching from not being inside of you, it was almost painful. It takes a great deal of mental effort to not push it inside of you because he knows you could take it, with how wet and eager you are. He could run his talons over your body while you took his knot with soft little whimpers and quiet moans. Whispering affections like turian males were meant to do with their mates. Let your warmth melt all that ice he’s built up.

This isn’t the first time it’s happened with a human, and that thought has ice run down his spine, renewing his coldness.

The image of you fucked-out doesn’t help and he pulls from you after a few moments. Taking a moment to gaze down at the mess he left, finding himself throbbing again before he slowly sets down your legs. You’re panting, gazing up at him with those bright eyes and he feels his talons tighten in your skin, just for a moment.

Your gaze lights up, eager to please him once more. Or to be pleased by him.

Saren hates humans, he thinks, too eager as you draw him easily between your legs again. Too demanding, he thinks, as he lets himself sink further down on the sheets, his talons leaving bruises on your thighs. Too emotionally clouded, he thinks, as you moan when his tongue slowly goes over your hole and he grinds his hips into the mattress.

His hatred was too deep to ever truly melt, even with your warmth.

#saren x reader #saren arterius #saren arterius x reader #mass effect x reader #mass effect

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mlm-writer · 7 months

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Study Group Pt. 2 (Garrus x Mshep)

Pairing: Garrus Vakarian x Male Shepard Rating: Explicit Words: 1267 POV: Third Summary: The Big Tober Day 4 - Alienfucking Note: Sequel to this work from 2 years ago Tags: edging, dry orgasm, assholes in love, big alien dick, talk of breeding, safe sex because protein incompatibility, handjob & coming untouched

“I just don’t get it,” Garrus huffed, throwing the datapad Shepard had prepared for him to study onto the coffee table. Shepard sighed and leaned back on the sofa, taking the cup of beer with him as he went. The commander took a big swig. He had explained the concept multiple times to Garrus, but the whole idea of how it all could be pleasurable was beyond the Turian. “I’m sorry, Hyven,” Garrus purred, taking Shepard's hand in his own and leaving a soft kiss on it, which was more a press of the mouth than anything else, lacking lips and all. Shepard could be frustrated all he wanted, but in the end he was just a sucker for his alien boyfriend.

Shepard then got the perfect idea. He had this wolfish grin on him all of the sudden that told Garrus enough. “What if I just… showed you?” Shepard used their intertwined hands to pull Garrus off his balance, putting his face really close to Garrus’. “Maybe you’ll get it once you’ve experienced it yourself.”

Shepard could see the heavy gulp. He watched the gears turn in his boyfriend’s head. He did not know what calculations - or calibrations - Garrus was running in that beautiful head of his, but Shepard waited patiently. He let the other man do what he needed to do and respond when he was ready. It took Garrus a good minute, before he spoke up. “Ok.”

Shepard had his boyfriend and himself naked on his bed in no time. A condom was the only thing separating the commander’s hand from the hot blue cock that pulsed inside it. Shepard admired each ridge and bump on it as his lubed hand glided all over it. Garrus was making the loveliest of noises, all soft and encouraging. Shepard wondered what he would hear if he had the capacity to properly hear the subvocals as well. He wondered what he would hear if the translator could actually pick up on every word.

The human squeezed his alien boyfriend’s cock, giving it a tight grip downwards, then loosening it up as he went back up. Shepard could do this all day, having some down-time, relaxing, just him and the melody of Garrus. It was easy to tell when Garrus was starting to lose his patience. The Turian started thrusting into Shepard’s hand, longing for his orgasm. Shepard sped up, fingers dancing over the blue skin, knowing exactly under which ridge to press and where across the tapered head to swipe over it. Garrus swore up a storm as he got close to orgasm.

Shepard’s smirk turned almost devilish as he waited for the right moment. Garrus was tensing up and the human knew that was his que to let go. Garrus groaned as he was denied his orgasm. Heavy breaths left the Turian as he came down from that experience. “And you like this?” Garrus questioned, the inquiry telling Shepard enough about how much Garrus liked being edged.

Shepard chuckled. “I guess? I mean it is torture, but you can edge me for hours and the eventual orgasm is so much better.” Shepard shrugged. “What about I show you the other thing?” Garrus shook his head, shifting to start grabbing stuff.

“If you like it so much, how about we try it on you?” Garrus grunted as he took a hold of Shepard. The man relaxed, letting his boyfriend put him on his hands and knees. Garrus knew by now which toys to grab, prepping Shepard without having to jam his claws inside. In the past months they have found the motions that worked. They went through it, getting everything, warming each other up. The small dildo was first. Shepard took it with ease, the stretch familiar and the lube helping a long way. He put his elbows down, getting a little more comfortable, while he made Garrus do most of the work. “You’re lazy today,” Garrus joked, switching to the medium dildo a little sooner than he usually would. Shepard hissed, letting out a soft and low moan as Garrus pushed it in to the base.

“I just gave you an amazing handjob. You’re quite demanding today,” Shepard commented back, shaking his ass a little in spite of knowing that Turians were no ass-loving people. The hips and waist were much more a point of interest. Like it was right on que, Garrus grabbed Shepard’s hips and held him in place, while he thrusted the dildo in slow and deep. Shepard whimpered whenever it hit his deepest spot. He had to give it to Garrus, it was a very effective way of shutting him up.

About half an hour later, Garrus was on his back, Shepard riding him eagerly. The cock had so much texture; it stimulated every nerve inside the commander. Shepard sang his song of pleasure on top of the Turian. Claws pressed shapes into his thighs, the pain just egging him on. He felt his orgasm building. Once he was close enough, he lifted himself halfway off Garrus and stroked himself. Those icy blue eyes drank in the image of him stroking vigorously, only to stop and squeeze the base at the last moment. Shepard moaned through his orgasm, keeping himself from ejaculating.

His breath was as ragged as after a battle and the entire dishevelled image of him drove Garrus wild. He picked Shepard up, carrying him across the room to the fishtank, pressing his back against it. Blue light highlighted Shepard’s silhouette as Garrus slid back inside. “So how often can you have an orgasm like that?” Garrus purred, before running his tongue along the muscle in Shepard’s neck. He could taste the remnants of the female Turian pheromones he had put on his mate earlier. Shepard mewled at the stimulation, mind too focused on the pleasure of Garrus’ flared cock to answer. “Shepard?”

The lack of a nickname and the pause of the thrusts drew Shepard back to reality. “Huh? Just…” He wiggled against the fishtank, seeking stimulation with Garrus’ cock still inside him. “Just fuck me and find out,” he whined wantonly. It shattered Garrus’ every ounce of self-control. He took a better hold of the other man and pressed their bodies together, sandwiching Shepard between the fishtank and Garrus’ plates chest.

The human made sounds no Turian ever could and every single one of them was thrilling, driving the Turian wild with possessive need. He got a little too excited, not hearing all the words Shepard was moaning. He barely fished out the words ‘I’m going to cum’ and instead of trying out what Shepard had shown him earlier, he went wild with the need of breeding his mate. Shepard howled with pleasure, words not coming together anymore to form even a single coherent sentence. Garrus felt like his world was nothing but white when he came deep inside his boyfriend, the condom not stopping him from feeling the satisfaction of breeding a mate.

When he was past the peak, he became aware of the wetness on his abdomen. “Damn Garrus,” Shepard chuckled, holding onto Garrus for dear life as he came down from his own high. “You’re a slow learner today.” Garrus gently pulled himself out and carried Shepard to the bed. “You were supposed to give me a dozen dry orgasms, you know.”

“Trial and error is the best way to learn,” Garrus deadpanned as he deposited his human boyfriend onto the bed. “So…” Garrus grinned as he got rid of the condom, eyes running over Shepard’s glistening body. “What about another study session later tonight?”

—————

REBLOG TO SUPPORT YOUR FANFIC WRITERS

Likes do not help exposure!A comment in tags or replies can sustain a writer for months!

#shakarian #garrus vakarian #mshep #mass effect #mass effect trilogy #garrus x shepard #commander shepard #kinktober #the big tober

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mahiiimahiiii · 5 months

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the extranet is made for porn

!!HEADS UP SLIGHT NSFW UNDER THE CUT!!!

The ship was empty, which happens a lot when they dock in the citadel. Garrus was just excited he would have some time to himself without the battery being opened on accident or purpose. Though turian’s have an open-door policy on their ships, a curious human was the least of his worries. His biggest concern was Shepard. Things have gotten tense between them, especially as he recently found justice for his fallen comrades. She supported him in that endeavor, using her charm to lure him to the right spot. He smiled remembering her seeming more at ease once the deed was done. “If you’re happy I’m happy” he remembered her saying as they boarded the ship. He appreciated her more than she knew, maybe a little too much. They had stopped in omega for some unfinished business, after that they hung out talking about wartime traditions. He had slipped about turian military full contact sparring, and she smiled and said, “why don’t we spar, well…maybe not, let’s just go blow off steam instead.” And left. She left! How bold was she?

Another time after hacking terminals in ilium, she asked again if he’d like to go out to dinner, pre steam. He honestly thought she was joking, but he laughed and said yes. Now here he was, sitting on an uncomfortable cold chair in a chamber that smells like sulfur and gunpowder; Omni tool brought up to his face. He felt ashamed.

The room was dark and slightly warm, his quills bristled as he pressed on his pelvic plate, releasing it with a hiss. He put down a towel, but it didn’t negate the cool metal beneath it. Garrus brough up the browser on the arm band, switching to a private tab he felt that he didn’t know what to search for. Human porn? Interspecies porn? Big boobs? Mammals having sex? Cam sites? Sexual wellness? He decided on the best sites for human fetish and hit go, massaging his brow and nasal plate. There were only a few results, though humans, once domineering the early fetish content industry as a shiny new thing, it has been found that assaris will always do better. He clicked the recommendation, a top ten list, with porn hub being the first result. He wanted specific, from colloquial human terms it’s a human-on-human site. He searched turian/human porn and hit go again, majority of the results were voluptuous, and beautiful siren-like women bouncing on raunchy toys. He lucked out scrolling through the images tab finding a vid of a pale woman thrust into a full nelson on a turian with rather large calves.

They seemed to be a couple, creating educational videos for couples like them, how fortunate. He watched their disclaimer section, noting that if you haven’t taken proper precautions both parties could suffer fatalities. They noted experiences, stigmas, regrets and interests of each other, they sounded soft and genuine. The turian noted there’s a form of condom for the vent shaft itself that helps eliminate a lot of worries, but noted they definitely prefer the sensation of raw dogging. A human term. A thing that works for them is having an EpiPen nearby filled with excess genetic materials. A last dich effort if the suppressants, herbal teas, and vaccinations don’t work. With that note they thanked the viewer for watching and moved onto the video.

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dirtybiowareconfessions · 1 year

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Confession: Lorik quinn is THE turian that’d be one of the first in the game to engage in interspecies human-turian sex. I feel like just a few drinks & a little teasing & he’d be ready to “try human”. Make him laugh using a few stupid human idoms and down to town you go

#lorik qui'in #mass effect #mass effect 2 #mass effect 3 #bioware #dirty confession #dirty confessions

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lilmissnatcat24 · 2 months

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Turn Left Ch 31- So Two Turians, A Human, A Krogan, and an Asari Walk Into Some Vents...

Shepard, Garrus & Co. investigate the mysterious vents, where they come across something that shouldn't exist. (CW: violence, gore, minor character death

Relationship: Femshep/Garrus Vakarian

Archive Warnings in author's note

Additional tags: enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, slow build, alternate universe- canon divergence, detective noir, sex club, anonymous sex, canon temporary character death, murder mystery, drug use, dom garrus vakarian, whump, smut, heavy angst, alien sex, dual pov, an overly sexual elcor named candy, earthborn, ruthless, fake/pretend relationship, dead dove: do not eat, identity porn, minor character death

Detective AU mixed with identity porn mixed with so much whump my fingers are bleeding

(or, start from the beginning here)

lil text blurb:

“Quiet,” Nihlus barked, one fist held up. Garrus, with the rest of them, stopped mid step, afraid that even his breathing would be too loud. The clatter of tiny feet were making their way towards them. Garrus took the safety off his rifle. It would be tight if they had to fight. He could barely peer around Liara, let alone Nihlus. And what about Shepard and Wrex? Why were two of the three biotics at the very back of the line? He couldn’t breathe-- not because he was holding his breath, but because there was no air anywhere in these fucking vents and he was suffocating--

From the path in front of them, Garrus saw the spindely appendages of three Keepers scuttling across the metal vents. He never really knew what they were. Their eyes were devoid of any sentience, if he looked too long at their fingers he would get creeped out. They didn’t communicate… At least, he didn’t think they did. But they did disturb him profoundly.

“Have you ever seen them in a group like that before?” Shepard whispered.

“We follow them,” Nihlus whispered back, lowering his fist from the air, and letting Garrus finally take a breath. It did nothing to help that clawing feeling of suffocation. “They’ll lead us to wherever Saren’s hiding something.”

“And if they attack?” Liara asked, her voice soft and high like a little mouse.

“With that? Their little stick fingers? We can take them,” Wrex barked back. “Now walk, or I risk getting stuck.”

#mass effect fanfiction #mass effect #mass effect fanfic #shakarian #shepard x garrus #ao3 fanfic #turn left #garrus vakarian #femshep

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dr-ladybird · 2 years

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Hey what if humans are Mass Effect’s first Council species to have dicks?

Dunno what asari have, and they seem to have *some* sort of recreational crotch-based sex organs, but… dick? Maybe? Maybe not.

Pretty sure salarians do the external fertilisation frog thing (when they bother reproducing sexually at all… the males don’t have fathers at all, remember, like a bee. Mordin is immune to SR2 daddy issues as he has no daddy)

Turians are birds. does this imply everyone has the same hole? cloacal kissing? maybe?

what if neither asari nor turians have dicks. imagine the jokes.

#mass effect #mass effect headcanons #alien reproduction #asari #turians #salarians #mass effect humans #lemon #original content

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baddieladdie · 1 year

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Prompt: Normandy crew reaction to horny Shepard

18+ Please move along children, Sinners right this way ->

Mordin: "Elevated heart rate. Sweat beading off forehead. Increased pheromone secretion. [Sharp inhale] Understand Shepard. Flattered, but not interested. However, can send [pause] material to your quarters."

Garrus: He picks up on it immediately. Turians have some of the most sensitive pheromone receptors in the galaxy. A gift from their ancestors who would cross valleys at the promise of a worthy mate. Generations of Turians finding their ideal mate through smell had lead to the boom of Turians across the stars.

But registering his ideal mate is of another species? Makes 'em a bit squeamish. He wants to provide what Shepard wants so badly but the vigilante's desire to succeed and fear of letting Shepard down only adds to the artificial pressure he feels.

Garrus finds himself in Mordin's lab, asking his loyal, trusted friend for advice. Mordin is more than happy to see the two uptight love birds finally ready to release some tension. Although feeling fulling flushed, he feels more confident engaging with Shepard.

Thane: The drell's been married. He's had kids. The dilf also has perfect, vivid memory. Canonically, he would spend lonely evenings recalling these intimate moments. This gives him insight on learning how to please Shepard's body, specifically.

He knows exactly what to do and isn't intimated. Do you really think the master assassin is afraid of a little ass?

EDI: Asks for Joker to explain why Shepard is acting so strangely around [Normandy Crew Member].

Aria: "Desperate isn't a good look for you Shepard. They should be begging on their knees for you. Never settle for less." -Aria comforting a horny Shepard missing their Ex/Haven't found a good partner to tango with

Liara: "I want you, Shepard" She reciprocates, bringing herself inches away. "I want to create a family with you, while you're still with me. I can't loose you."

(Meaning: Shepard's legacy could be extended with kids)

Kaidan: He's human. Da boi fucks. However, Perhaps our non-human lovers would come to him for advice on how to handle a horny human. As a bisexual king, he is experienced enough to offer practical advice.

Wrex: He gets it. He's horny 24/7/365. Unbridled rage is his outlet. He takes Shepard out to commit some violent acts.

Zaeed: He's tired. So tired. Life has been long and hard for the mercenary. He turns Shepard down in favor of discussing some of his old mission relics.

Samara: The milf is traumatized after completing her mission to kill her Ardat-Yakshi daughter, Morinth. She isn't interested at all.

Kasumi: She's no stranger to public sex. In fact, the master thief loves the thrill of it. The high stakes of getting caught and the challenge of finding the best local. It's everything and more the stealth expert could ask for.

Javik: "Primitive. Look at you. At the mercy of your own flesh. No wonder you were so easily conquered."

Jack: "Jesus Shep, wait til we get a room. You'll give Miranda an aneurysm."

#mass effect headcanons #mass effect #headcannons #normandy crew #does this count as smut?#idk #either way #not for children #mass effect fanfiction #18+#commander shepard #shepard x garrus #shepard x thane #mass effect javik #mordin solus #fanfic #prompt

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melanie-ohara · 9 months

Note

Hey could you please tell us about your OC Dela?

I don't want to give away too much of her backstory because a lot of it is spoilers for The Story, but here's what isn't classified:

In 1975 (Systems Alliance Calendar), an abandoned shuttle was discovered by salarian wildcat miners orbiting the planet Raisaris.

There was nothing left on board but a crib containing a screaming infant asari. The salarians took her in, naming her Dela Raisaris after her unofficial homeworld, and she lived with the family for two salarian generations - over 60 years - and then moved to Illium to work first as a security agent for a transportation firm and eventually as a dancer in one of Nos Astra's many bars.

In 2076, Dela was involved in a [REDACTED] and left Illium with [CLASSIFIED]. They travelled together for half a century, during which time Dela expanded her biotic skills, her impressive piloting ability, learned to fight with a traditional asari sword, and [REDACTED].

After the tragic [REDACTED], Dela became a mercenary/sex worker, travelling all over the galaxy in search of purpose; or failing that (in her own words) 'a good fight or a good lay'.

In 2177, she was working with a small asari mercenary band subcontracted by the Eclipse Mercenary Corporation to fight in the Anhur rebellions against a consortium of batarian and human slavers known as the Na'hesit. When she learned that her companions were planning to switch sides for better pay, Dela assassinated their leader and sabotaged their ship. In exchange for a clean slate, she gave their location to an asari huntress team and traded in her mercenary identity for a military uniform.

After basic, she was assigned to the Council Demilitarization Enforcement Mission in the krogan DMZ as an interceptor fighter pilot. Only her unusual surname suggests there's more to her story than any other maiden serving on the turian ship THV Severum, but nobody asks and she doesn't tell.

Dela Raisaris is sharp-witted and funny, with a bawdy sense of humour that gets her reprimanded by her superiors, along with her cheerful disregard for protocol and preference for reckless flying. Quick with her affections, both emotional and physical, Dela is very popular with her crewmates - though her open sexuality often sees her entangled in love triangles. Despite her platonic love for her friends, Dela has had very few long-term relationships and nothing more serious than flings since she joined the asari military.

- REPORT FILED BY VERAPIA BESCUS, ST&R, 2184 -

#mass effect #asari #original character #asari oc #fanfic #writing #character profile #I swear I will name this story eventually #more of these to come maybe #dela raisaris

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submissiveking99 · 9 months

Note

Y - your choice for Jane and Miranda

"I am choosing W, worship." Miranda stated calmly "I prefer my breasts and ass being worshiped, treated like the holy items they are."

"I'll go with R, Raceplay." Jane smirked "Whole not a big kink of mine, it can make some rough sex into a magical night. Crying out how superior Krogan cock is as it is rearranging my ass or being called a pathetic human whore by a strong Turian? It can make my orgasm go form an 8 to an 11."

#kink alphabet #y=choice

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ficbrish · 8 months

Text

Black Spot (aka Shenko Pirates) Chapter 8

"Sludge stuck on your fingers" [AO3]

Rating: Explicit, 18+ only

Tags: Prompt Fic, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Enemies to Lovers, Pirate Captain Shepard, Navy Admiral Kaidan Alenko, Renegade Shepard (Mass Effect), Renegade Kaidan Alenko, Biotic Shepard (Mass Effect), Some Plot, POV Alternating, Eventual Smut, Shameless Smut, Oral Sex, Rough Sex

[[TW/CW: PTSD, illness, cuts, wounds, physical assault, bullying, breakups, biotic trauma reminiscent of queer trauma]]

[Previous Chapter]

[All Chapters]

“Shepard!”

He shook her shoulders and shouted her name, but flickering eyelids were the highest level of consciousness she was currently capable of.

“Shepard!”

Kaidan stopped himself, realizing that disturbing her was probably the worst thing he could do. She should be still, and rest.

“Shepard,” he cried, “I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t mean to cut that deep.”

Kaidan didn’t understand. His mind raced at the image of the woman lying still in front of him with red hair and all the color drained out of her skin. Her infected wound, mauve and then plum, screamed through his mind’s eye. He needed to take another look.

Her eyes flickered open, just barely, as he gingerly lifted her up. Moving her must have hurt her.

He didn’t notice the half-sob that bubbled up and escaped him. It was a pitiful noise at a terrifying sight. A map laying out the path to death was clearly printed across Shepard’s shoulders.

If she lived, there was going to be a scar.

Kaidan settled her body back down even more gently than before. He saw some of the whites of her eyes as they flickered again. Moving must have hurt her.

“Nasty!” gleeful laughter danced cruelly along the group, “That’s gonna scar!”

Kaidan scratched his back. Then he took off his shirt, using it as a blanket to place over Shepard.

Fire and water. He should take care of that first.

* * * * * *

He spent his whole childhood romanticizing life on the sea. The ocean, and the ship, and the uniform—Exploration for the sake of it, or to prove he was worthy of someone he loved! He grew up ready for all of it.

Kaidan used to want to be exactly like the father who didn’t acknowledge him. He wore the Alliance Navy on his shoulders like it was the pride of the family. In a way it was. In another way it just meant getting invited to parties where he was told to stand in the shadows and draw no attention. In another way, it prepared him for life on the sea.

And there was life on the sea!

He left Humanity’s shores and ventured out as far as the Island-States of Sur’Kesh and the Thessian Empire. The Temperance was a proud ship that carried them safely across every ocean. It took Kaidan to locations he grew up dreaming about, like the Elcor port at the end of a vast desert, the mountains of Salarian matriarchs forged by deep sea volcanoes, and the Turian Hierarchy’s seaside capital city. It also taught him how other species took to the sea, like the Krogan navy with its towering ship-cities or the mythical Quarians with their underwater kingdoms and magical dive suits.

The air tasted like salt, and you were never alone.

When he met his first crewmates, Kaidan thought they’d always be part of his life. In a way, they still were; one could say they left their marks.

There was Stevens, who was named Paul, and Paulson, who was named Stephen. It was a big joke to call them Paul-Steven and Stephen-Paul, which eventually rounded down to P.S. and S.P., which, when they were drinking, often devolved into Piss & Shit. Kaidan was the least close with those two. It wasn’t personal. In fact, they didn’t seem to be close to anyone but each other. Everyone revered them though. They were always fun and made everyone laugh with jokes that weren’t really clever or funny.

The two he was closest with were Conrad and Blake, who were cousins both named Tim. They were like the angel and devil on his shoulders, always with him and always getting him into trouble. Kaidan didn’t really remember their faces, their features blurred over the years, but he could hear both of their laughs like they were still in the room.

Then there was him. The son of an aristocrat, he was a prince among the rest of them. Doverfort, but Kaidan only ever called him Henry, just like Henry never called him Alenko.

His eyes were so bright. They held the future in them.

Henry had the coin to bribe officers to keep them all together on the same shifts. Their only ambition was to stop time and stay exactly where they were. They’d do just enough work to not be a problem, and never anything good enough to risk a promotion. Then they’d always be together.

Just when life couldn’t be more perfect, Henry woke him up in the bunk one night.

When Kaidan opened his eyes, Henry gestured for him to be quiet with a finger in front of his full, angular lips. He could see Henry so clearly in the dark.

Henry led them through the ship in their nightclothes until he stopped in a dark corner, deep under the deck. A place that only the damp and the rats really bothered with. They could barely see. Any light from the moon didn’t reach them where they were. All they had were sparsely placed lanterns and the limits of the Human eye.

That’s why Kaidan thought it was just an accidental bumping-into at first. It took his mind just as much adjusting as his eyes to realize that what he felt was purposeful. Henry held his hand. Then Henry moved it between his legs where there was something hard and wonderful waiting to be grabbed.

A dam broke and they were all hands and tongues. Months of best friendship were really months of falling in love. This moment now confirmed it. Every touch confirmed it. Every kiss; every stroke; and then, oh god, every pulse that spilled them out of themselves and onto each other, onto fingers, onto mouths, fucking confirmed it.

They never told the others, and did something like it every other night.

But it wasn’t the only secret Kaidan asked Henry to keep.

“Only tell who you trust with your life. Once you say it, you can’t unsay it.”

His mother raised him to do better, but he was so eager to share it. Kaidan never knew for sure whether it was Henry, but the rumors about what he was started up around the same time.

“As if you needed any more reasons to want me dead,” fingers to his temples dripping with indigo stars.

Across the globe, everyone born with that particular affliction knew how to protect it. They grew up learning to temper the pain to hide the signs, dull their kind of body’s natural reflexes. It was the one constant across cultures, across species, across time. Unless you were Thessian, of course.

Those rumors were his first real taste of heartbreak; the end of the last chapter in his book of young love. So, it almost didn’t matter when they put him through the test. It didn’t hurt as much as Henry probably thought it did.

“There’s only one thing to do,” Blake stated that night, so bold and sure of himself; like he only had this moment to prove he was a grown man, “None of us are going to like it, but we won’t know unless we see it ourselves. And if Alenko’s truly got nothing to hide, we’ll just have to make it up to him.”

They cheered and toasted, and Kaidan cheered and toasted along with them. The supervising officer looked on with a combination of boredom and pride.

When everyone decided they were drunk enough, the knives and swords came out. Kaidan knew what was expected of him, so he took off his shirt and got on his knees.

“None of us are doing this because we want to,” Blake stated, marking his place as the leader, “I know you’d do the same if it were me.”

But would he? Kaidan would never know a life where their positions were switched, so he couldn’t say for sure. In his life, with this burden, the answer was no. But if there were another life without this burden, who could say?

For as much of a man as he was trying to be, Blake’s cut wasn’t that long or that deep. But it wouldn’t matter if it was. Kaidan’s father had prepared him for this. Prepared him for the sea. He could take incredible amounts of pain without giving himself up.

The cut bled in the shadows like it should; normal, Human. No hint of light spread over his body like an insidious halo. No glimmer whispered forward from the depth of his wound.

“Good so far,” Blake said, his voice shaking as he offered his knife to his cousin.

Conrad wanted to use a different blade, “This sword was my father’s. I trust it to bring the truth to light.”

He was always so dramatic. Kaidan rolled his eyes before it sliced him waist to hip.

“Nasty!”

“Careful, lads!” the supervising officer shouted, “You’re not here to kill him!”

“It wasn’t deep,” Conrad scoffed.

Next came Piss & Shit.

“Ooooh!”

“That’s gonna scar!”

The knives and names that followed blurred with unimportance. Kaidan thought it was over before he realized they truly saved the best for last.

Henry was the one who cut him deepest.

“Enough!”

If Henry wasn’t intended to be the last, the wound he made ensured it. Whether it was meant to be a kindness, a compensation, or a severance of some sort, Kaidan would never know. Maybe it was everything. Whatever intention it came out of, his slice left one hell of a scar.

* * * * * *

Her forehead was burning dangerously. Her skin felt like a steaming log the moment before it catches fire.

“Come here, Shepard,” Kaidan said apologetically as he knelt down to scoop her limp body into his arms.

She muttered incoherently as he walked down the beach, jostling her with every anxious, uneven step. He knew it had to hurt, but the sea was their best option. Maybe. It’s not like he knew much about what he was doing.

Kaidan brought her into the cold water, cradling her above its surface. He dipped and held most of her underneath it for her temperature to go down, only keeping her face above it. She shivered horribly. Kaidan couldn’t tell if he was shivering too, or just shaking. He couldn’t tell if he was helping or making it worse.

He brought her back up to their shelter, and washed her wound again with the rest of their clean water. She seemed to fall into a peaceful sleep. Maybe he did know what he was doing. Kaidan didn’t want to leave her side but needed to replenish their water, and now was the time if any.

Henry walked away from him; after that. Betrayal. The forest seemed to agree, its trees looming over him in judgment while its roots and vines did their best to trip him up. His surroundings never felt like a threat, but now he was truly alone, they took on another meaning.

Henry never came back though, and Kaidan was only walking away to return with something they depended on.

Kaidan wasn’t paying attention and smacked into a pile of mud. Thankfully, his landing was soft, but if there had been a rock, he could’ve broken something. And if he broke something… Well, he was all she had, and she was all he had. He needed to pay better attention. Any mistake would likely doom them both.

Pressure stood on his chest like an obstinate cat, but he had to keep going. It had its claws in his lungs.

He had to pick himself up.

He stood up and kept going.

But he didn’t understand. Why was it getting worse? Biotics were supposed to heal. Magic was supposed to bring miracles.

* * * * * *

“Clean up your own damn mess and take care of the lieutenant. That’s an order, boys.”

From the floor, he was brought to one of the Captain’s spare offices. The Temperance was a very big ship. He could recover there out of anyone’s way.

A makeshift hammock was tied up on hooks in the corners of the ceiling. It became soaked with Kaidan’s blood, mottled between dry and fresh. It was up to his comrades to do everything, and they always did the bare minimum. So, it was changed out and washed on their own sense of timing.

There was always one other boy in the room with him. It was their task to monitor his progress, to be there to witness nature or a freak of it. To make sure his back healed on its own in due time, without being sped up by any other process. Unnatural fluctuations.

Henry only ever came by the one time. Then he transferred to another ship.

“I didn’t mean to cut that deep,” his sobbing apology was the last moment Kaidan ever had of him.

Kaidan refused to turn around. He couldn’t look at Henry. He felt the cool cloth attending to his back as warm tears fell over it. He heard the apologies and all his professions of innocence.

But he never took one last look at his face.

After that, Kaidan was left with Conrad and Blake, who promised to make all this up to him and never did. He just had them and Piss & Shit.

When Kaidan’s skin finally closed up in a way that cleared his name, they were all put on different shifts. Kaidan threw himself fully into each task, leaving time and room for only the people he had to. Eventually, his work was noticed. Then his last name was recognized. He got a promotion after that, and another until he reached his current position. Until he was Alliance Admiral Kaidan Alenko.

That final crown came at a cost, and the only acceptable currency for it was Pirate Captain Estrella Shepard.

* * * * * *

Night was approaching and the colors in her wound were as vast and vivid as a sunset.

Lowering her temperature, painting drops of water on her lips, covering her when she shivered, clearing out the pus—None of his aid could leap faster than the infection could shuffle. She was at the point where every hour was critical.

He wept and kept up their fire. He didn’t know what else to do.

Kaidan sat there short of options, with only a miracle left.

There were some things that could never be taken back. Like his triumphant cry after wounding her. Like the cut across her shoulder. Across his back. Like Henry holding his hand in the dark. Like living for the space between her legs.

He’d take it all back if he could. All of it. Even the memories that glittered and flashed with a warmth deeper than his soul. He’d take it all back if it would leave him a void. If everything would just leave him the fuck alone.

“I’m sorry, Shepard.”

It was him or her, and he was all she had.

“Only tell who you trust with your life. Once you say it, you can’t unsay it.”

His mother raised him better than this. He’d rather die than share it. But she was the one dying, not him.

Kaidan stood up with a sigh deeper than the sea. He went over to her side.

He wasn’t crossing that line so much as crossing the border between life and death. It was now or never. Waiting any longer might take the decision away from him. He had to get to it before it went too far.

He brushed the hair away from her face.

He put a hand on her back. She winced, eyes flickering, as he placed it directly against her wound.

He closed his eyes.

Biotics were supposed to heal.

A dim, blue glow cast their shelter in low light.

A cleansing fire like the sun itself worked its way through her flesh. Time fell away from the wound, or seemed to.

Kaidan was so exhausted when she eventually opened her eyes that he almost shut his.

Not a flicker, but a true blink with thoughts behind it. Her voice was hoarse, “Kaidan?”

“It’s okay, Shepard. It’s gonna be okay.”

[All Chapters]

#shenko #prompt fill #estrella shepard #kaidan alenko #mass effect #mass effect au #full fic #fshenko #kaidan x shepard #shepard x kaidan #shenko pirates fic #BrishFics #angst #smut

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