#ugh. i dont have time for this. and yet ill make it happen

[opens-up-4-nobody]

I just need yall to know I started another Terror video editing project, despite my better judgment 😔

#its somehow more insane than the last one #this is what happens when i have access to ctrl f the script plus access to the video plus editing software #ugh. i dont have time for this. and yet ill make it happen #i just need it to exist bc i love these type of videos but everytime i see one im like how tf did they do that??? #u have to b insane to put the effort into that. and yet here we r #its not gonna b that hard. just take a lotta time lol #terror ramblings

[be-good-to-bugs]

i need to go to bed but i dont wannnaaaaa

#the bin #i work at 7am and its 1:23 am i have GOT to go to bad but ugh. if i go to bed then that means ill have to go to work as sokn as im conscious #so the longer i stay up the more time i have. but km gonna be so tired at work. hhhhh. #i dont know why but ive felt so horrible today. super anxious. miserable and really sad #im trying to just deal with it. soon enough things are gonna change. its only 34 days till my planned moving date. i will only bave like 20 #more shifts at this job. maybe less depending on what i get given. including tomorrows shift. and tomorrows shift is only 5 hours long #and the day after its only 4 hours and then i have 2 more days off. itll be ok. but i still feel so anxious and depressed and awful #i just wanna stay home and be high all the time. i feel so lonely always. literally the only thing that helps me not feel completely crushed #and paralyzed by how lonely i am is getting high. i know its not healthy to rely on getting high to feel better about stuff but idk what #else to do so who cares. when i dont do anything about it i i stead end up relapsing or worse so i think its an ok option #i hope i can meet nice people this year. year after year it doesnt happen but so much has changed! #it makes sense i havent met people since i moved out. and everything is so different from wwhen i last lived with them #all my siblings are in school. they have people over at the hair a fair bit afaik. my dad wont be there to me make feel awful. my sister #also wont be there to me me feel awful. i can figure something out. itll be ok. it has to be. #i just want to squeeze someone. i just want like. a hug. a good cuddle. and i need to talk to someone. its been so long since u had an actul #fun time hanging out with another person. i need to watch a movie with someone and joke around and. ugh. #how did my life reach this point? what happened that resulted in me spending ages 10-19 all alone. im not even 19 yet but i will be soon #and theres not a chance ill meet someone before then esp bc im moving. when i was little i didnt have mych friends but i had some #i had such high hopes for the future. i also thought the future would be terrible but i imagined id still have friends and peopwl to talk to #all ive wanted sincei was 10 is just to have people to talk to and hangout with. but i dont have a single friend. i can hardky name anyone #besides my family and coworkers. and like aa couple of my sisters friends. there isnt even like people i know who i dont really consider #friends but we talk sometimes. if i dont go to work. call my mom. or tex a sibling. i dont see or talk to anyone period #i guess unless i go to the store. that doenst really count tho. #i want to have a friends group. i want to have A friends. just like. a person. to interact with. what happened that made mw spend the past #8 years just not interacting with anyone? whats wrong with me. #its fine tho. becausebit will change. i acan heal from this and i can meet people. even if half my conscious life has been spent all alone #it will get better. it has to.

[nomaishuttle]

btw im putting salon trip on my list of things thatll either be christmas present 4 myself birthday present 4 myself or new apartment present 4 myself

#but its sort of direee bc new apartment present. if it has carpet itll be a nice vacuum if it doesnt its hieronymus... #i also have a tonn of kitchen appliances ill need 2 get like a microwave if there isnt a built in one crockpot rice cooker.. id loveee a #stand mixer since i wanna get into baking more :] blender and food processor and those r the things i rly want mainly. id also love a #griddle but idt itll happen DNFNFJBF. but i miss my dads griddle 💔 #ugh guys i want hieronymus so bad. if i had hieronymus my life literally would not be so dire bc id wake up and see hieronymus and my day #would instantly be 5000 times better and i thjnk id make cute little outfits for him so hed get dressed and id go off to work and id kiss #his sweet little frontal bone and go to work and if i had a BAD day at work id come hkme and see him and feel better. sry im like forming #a parasocial relationship with this imaginary plastic skeleton Men will do anything except go to therapy #but like u dont get itttt the bond me and hieronymus have. will have.he doesnt exist yet #or maybe he does and hes sitting in some party city or some warehouse waiting for me to save him... soon buddy i will find you

[tiyoin]

me yapping about azul

since seeing the recent 'leaks' for the new octavinelle 'chapter' in the twst manga

I was wondering how Azul would show you he likes you

maybe its from him boasting his achievements while you're in ear shot to let you know just how accomplished he is. because after all, the3 ladies love a well rounded guy 😼

but he makes sure to reel it down a bit when he thinks you might think of him as full of himself (to which he is to some extent.) mainly because he heard you grumble the other day about how pretentious some of the students are. he agrees! stop acting like you achieved something when you haven't!

he's different because[insert list of achievements]

he seems like the type of guy to subtly listen to your food preferences (by sitting near you in the cafeteria during lunch time) and oh boy! there's now a special dessert at the monster lounge for a limited time only!

oh no... one of the twins are serving you and he/ one of them creates some kind... spectacle in the lounge. yes its unprofessional and it kills him. but he makes it seem like some customers had a bad day and decided to take it out on his poor helpless employees

(boohoo, cried the wolves in sheep's skin)

he has no other choice but to go up to your table and apologize for you... rowdy neighbors.

"it's fine-"

no! he cannot have a first time guest think so poorly of him. here- you already ordered their limited addition dessert, how about he gives you another one for... 15- no! 20 percent off! everyone else has to pay full price though... yes even your other neighbors who he merely apologizes to about the disruption

azul is a cocky coward to sum it up

he plays the game well, but also has no idea what to do. plan all he like, charm all he likes. the reality is, is that is not getting him closer to you. not yet that is.

he's calculative. I mean, you have to be to be running a successful business at 17. see! he is good at everything (why are you bringing up gym. that's pointless in the business world. is he not in good enough shape? he is strong despite his skinny stature... so who cares about stamina.-)

he's smart, kind (eye roll), and a hoot to be around!

after azul has 'crafted' his personality to you through subtle gestures (he only does around you), kind gestures (only to you...) and his off handedly brags about his feats and reasons he’d be a great boyfriend (through 'subliminal messaging'

he's going to move onto plan B! where he slowly intagrats himself into your life. mhm.

so when you and grim are looking around for a partner in the first year second year crewel assignment, azul is a kind enough senior to offer his assitan- no there's no catch.

he just thought that you would need all the help you can get- not that you're dumb, but with... azul doesn't even need to finish his sentence before you’re both eyeing grim sashaying his way to the chemicals.

so prefect? what do you say?

oh no, you happen to bump into the table and am falling with the beakers and test tubes? no worries! azul is there to play knight in shining armor and grab you, hoist you up, and protect you from the falling glass that shatters into smithereens on the ground.

yes crewel is yelling at you but see how reliable he is!! not only is he smart and... handsome- but he is a natural protector!-

just dont smile at him like that while you tuck your hair behind your ear- it makes him feel... queasy (that's what they call butterflies azul)

while merpeople are shown to be more touch centric than everyone else. when you accidentally touch Azul's finger when handing over a beaker, azul is lucky that you're on his right side where his long strand of grey hair. effectively blocking your vision of his blush striken face-

NO HE'S NOT ILL- does he look it?” “well… your face is blue-“ (you're so innocent he just wants to strangle you ugh. how utterly adorable) it's just... ridiculously hot in here, dont you think? boy he's parched.

he swiftly makes an exit to the bathroom to get. a. grip. he almost let his carefully crafted charismatic personality slip and show you-… no time to dwell on the past.

something tells him that he shouldn't be leaving you, grim and chemicals alone.

WHY IS JADE FUCKING LEECH AT YOUR TABLE??

THAT NO GOOD-

he was just helping? azul narrows his cerelium eyes at his vice dorm leader. helping with what exactly, jade? the project? …ha yeah right you no good leech.

when you tell azul about how jade was saying he- azul- was just as good at potion making as the benevolent sea witch. azul 'humphs.' why of course he is. as the dorm leader of- ....yes he did have a lot of time to study in his childhood and has been doing stuff like this for a long time. what about it.

azul can't help but feel.. irritated. what else did jade say to you? hmm?

oh.. that was all? clearing his throat, he looks back at jade who is wearing a shit-eatting grin. the eel-mer lowering himself into his seat, eyes looking up as the amber eye catches the light of the potion room. it's that sadistically percerted grin he likes to wear when he's up to no good. having sowed the first seeds of his discord and is waiting for another opportunity to tend to his garden of chaos.

whatever. lets just focus on the assignment. yes prefect he is fine.

azul doesn't like for things to go sideways. he has plan A through Z all thought out and ready to go at any minute. but when a number is added to his perfectly organized letter plans, that's when his knuckles turn white and his nails dent his palms.

the leeches are always there to keep him on his toes. he just thought that he kept his... admiration for you under good enough wraps that his two pesky workers wouldn't find out, not until later when your relationship is closer. but nnooooOOOoo

it was his own fault for underestimating them after all.

but time and time again he has prevailed through such hardships and will continue to best them when they think they can toy with him. and to win, means getting you no matter what those two whisper in your ear, and what they don't.

#azul x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #tiyoin 🔎 #azul ashengrotto x reader

[jacaerysgf]

Summary: Your friend was invited to a party and she begs you to tag along. While at the party they decide to play truth or dare and your friend knowing you have a crush on the cute guy from your english class, gives you a stupid dare.

pairing: Ethan Landry × gn!reader Drabble

warnings: alternate universe where there's no ghostface or whatever. I've never seen a scream movie before but i like ethan, oc best friend, cursing, making out.

a/n: not my usual fandom but i was just inspired to write this

PART TWO !!

While staring at your best friend in betrayal all you can think about how much you regret coming.

Only just hours ago you remember sitting on your bed on the phone with your best friend mars while she ranted to you about how much she wanted you to come. "pleeeeeeeeeeeee ease." you roll your eyes, "i don't feel like it mars."

"ugh," you can hear her shuffling through the phone, "just come with me please? for me?" "mars..." "'Il write that english paper youve been dreading for you." "Fine."

You two arrive at the party and you just follow her around the whole time. You notice than is here. The guy who sits next to you during english who you just so happen to have a major crush on. You've never spoken other than him asking if you have an extra pen during class after he forgot his one time. When he gave it back to you he has this charming grin on his face and you fell instantly.

He's standing next to another guy, you think his name is chad? You cant be bothered to care when he looks in your direction and notices you and your stare, his face flushes as he looks down at the cup in his hand. You turn away and look towards your friend whos giving you a suspicious grin. "what." "go talk to him." "no way."

she shakes her head at you and turns away that grin still on her face and you dont like it.

now you know why you didn't like it. Someone had suggested you guys play truth or dare like fucking children and when it happens to be your turn and guess who happens to be the one giving you the dare. "I dare you to..... sit in the pantry for seven minutes, ill send someone into join you." Fucking mars.

You knew who she would send it, "unless you're a pussy." you glared at her as everyone oo'ed. You huff as you get up and walk towards the pantry and slam it behind you dreading the inevitable.

the closet is small yet you keep your back turned towards the door. Its only maybe a minute before the door opens and you feel another presence enter as mars shouts, "Seven minutes starts... now!" You feel a warm body press against yours as the door slams shut.

You don't turn you dont even look before you begin to speak. "Im sorry." Theres a moment of silence, "For what?" Its him. "My friend mars, she's..... She's probably making you do this im sorry." He probably doesn't even know your name and now she has you standing your backside pressed against him.

"No she isn't making me do this." Now this confuses you as you turn your body, you back side brushing against his front and he whimpers slightly as you face him. "What."

His body gets warmer as if to reflect how embarrassed he feels, "She asked if there was anyone who wants to go in there with you." no way. "and you volunteered." you look at him the best you can in the dark as he avoids your face. "Yes."

"Why?" He pauses for a brief moment, "i've always thought you were gorgeous." Your breathe gets caught in your throat. "I've always wanted to talk to you you know since we sit next to each other but i've never known how to start a conversation so when i got this opportunity i just wanted to be near you-" He's rambling so You kiss him.

Once his initial shock wares off he takes your face into his hands eagerly as he kisses you back. you press him back against the door and he hums in delight. "One more minute love birds!" Its chad voice you think. You pull back out of breath, "Ethan-" he slams his lips back against yours, when you press your body against his he whimpers and hums. you hold him against you as theres a knock on the door,

"times up lovebirds make sure you're clothed because im going to open to the door." Ethan pulls away from the door and you two look at each other in daze.

as the door opens you move to whisper in his ear "We'll finish this later." as you spin him around and walk pantry with a satisfied look on your face. "You're welcome you bitch.

#ethan landry imagine #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x y/n #ethan landry x you #ethan landry #scream six #scream vi #scream #ethan landry drabble

[faithsxoxo]

hi ! i hope you’re having a good day :) could you write a reagan ridley x fem/gn reader one shot, totally up to you ! i don’t really have anything in mind so feel free to play around with it however you like, would love if it had a bunch of fluff though ! thank you sm, stay hydrated and take care of yourself <33

pairings :: reagan ridley x fem!reader (established relationship) warnings :: none note :: my girl needs WAY more wlw appreciation (i love her)

The mechanical door to Reagan's office slams open, making you flinch. The brunette storms in, clutching a pile of crumpled papers.

"Hey, Reag, you alright?" You stand from your designated spot near her desk.

"I'm fine. No big deal, just my dad screwing me over as always," She grumbles. "He's decided that my work from the past month isn't up to 'Ridley standard' so I have to redo it all."

You can see Reagan visibly crumple as she flips through the pages she spent so long on. You didn't have a clue what any of it was about, but you knew it was complicated.

"I'm sorry," You whisper as you wrap your arms around her torso.

"It's not your fault," She mumbles, leaning into your touch.

"I know. Maybe I could help?" You rest your head in the crook of her neck. "We can go home.. have a spa day.. watch a movie.. stop worrying about this bullshit."

Reagan grins softly and shakes her head. "Tempting, but I have a deadline."

With that you can see the shift in her demeanor. She frowns and pulls away from your hold, reaching for the papers once again.

"No," You grab her arm and gently pull her away. "Not happening. We're going home if you like it or not."

"But-"

"No. I suddenly came on with an illness because I spent too long in the genetics department, and you came to take care of me. No buts," You link her arm with yours and lead her to the door.

"Twenty four hours, no work. Got it?" You give Reagan a stern look.

She shakes her head with a chuckle.

"Yeah, yeah. Got it."

Barely twenty minutes later, Reagan is sitting cross legged in front of you.

"Ugh, it's cold," She winces as you apply the face mask.

"Its hydrating. Alright, pick out a movie. I'm gonna go check on the popcorn," You finish with a peck on the lips, before skipping off to the kitchen of your small apartment. She had only moved in with you a few months prior, for your one year anniversary. Reagan had been desperate to escape from living with her dad any longer.

You take a moment to admire her while shes distracted. Reagan in her full beauty, splayed out on your cream couch. Her face is painted green, yet in your eyes she's still the pinacle of perfection. You take note of how relaxed she looks compared to the tense bundle of nerves she had been previously.

"Are you going to get the popcorn or are you going to keep ogling me?" Reagan calls across the room.

"I dont know, ogling seems pretty tempting," You grin back.

She rolls her eyes with a small huff, but you can see the corners of her lips turning up slightly. You swiftly grab the popcorn and return to your place on the couch.

"Hey," She grins softly at you as you curl into her side.

"Hey. What movie did you pick out?"

"Space Jam."

"Ugh, seriously?" You shake your head and giggle.

"What?" Reagan protests. "It's a good movie!"

"Suuuure. You gonna bring out your old prom dress with it?" You tease.

She smacks you on the arm playfully.

"It would be an honor to see me in that dress, I don't think you deserve it."

"Oh, right, after I've spent all this time giving you a spa day this is how you treat me," You cross your arms and begin to pull away.

"Maybe I'll just go eat popcorn by myself."

Reagan pulls you back towards her, wrapping her arms around your midsection.

"Too late, you're stuck with me," She announces, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

You sigh, leaning back into her.

"I guess I can live with that."

Reagan turns on the movie as you snuggle into her. With the dim light of the TV, both of you eventually drift off in eachothers arms, finally in complete peace.

#faithsxoxo #inside job #inside job x reader #reagan ridley x reader #reagan ridley

[slutty-transformation-stories]

Corrupt Girlfriend part 5

Day 4

You wake up in bed after a long night and see your girlfriend isn't next to you you go to the bathroom and find her in there.

You see your girlfriend texting someone.

You're intrigue and jealousy continues to grow as you think of how quickily your relationship has changed.

"Hey baby"

Your girlfriend answers you nervously but still fixated on her phone

leans over the sink.

"Oh hey Honey, Im just texting my friend, we have plans to go out shopping later.."

"Oh really who you going with?"

You get closer to her

"Oh you wouldnt know them.. Enjoying the view?"

She changes the subject

"Oh yes ma'am"

You get closer

"Oh what am I going to do with you?"

Ashley Pushes Her ass against your face

Your girlfriend starts to grind agaist your face

"I think you owe me for all these perverted fantasies I let you experience."

You try to speak with your mouth full of her ass and pussy

"MmHnhm"

She picks up pace

"mhmmm, so I saw cuckold in your search history.."

"I looked it up and now I know how perverted my little man is. mmm"

"Is that really how you look at your girlfriend?"

"NnnMmHnhmm"

Your girlfriend is grinding on your face frantically

"ohh, you fuckking bitch. MMMmm"

She Lifts off you and starts to squirt on your face

you both take a minute to catch your breath

"oh that was good, I love you."

"I love you too.."

Once again, you get ready for work and leave thinking of everything that has happened the past few days.

Later that day You receive a video from Ashley of her shaking her bare ass in a gym.

Hey babe, I miss you!"l

Oh wow! I love the video

Thanks babe he loved taking it, too :)

He?

Just my friend, babe, dont worry!

Im not

I'm going to finish my work out ill talk to you later!

Okay, have fun

2 hours pass and you are on your break so you try to face time Ashley.

"It's unlike her not to respond for this long"

You send her another text

Hey baby, are you okay

Yea, sorry baby, im still busy..

I'll tell you later

You decide to give her a call to make sure she's okay

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

the phone picks up to loud gutteral moaning and fast breathing

"Oh fuck oh fuck"

"Your boyfriends calling should i pick up"

you can't see anything yet

"No, please, I dont want him to know right now. hmhmmmmMM"

The wet pounding continues

he chuckles

"so whos cock do you like more?"

"Ugh yours its so much thicker, I love it when we get to hang out"

"what a slut fucking another man behind her husbands back"

"I know Im a whore i cant help it UHhgmm"

she starts to shake and cum with him

"IM CUMING IM CUMING AGAIN!"

you see her laying on the bed shaking

"I'll see you again soon"

"Mhm yes sir"

I think it's time i installed some cameras

you come home to find your gf in the bedroom

she acts as if nothing happened

"Hey honey welcome home!"

"Did you have fun with your friend?"

"Mhm, almost too much im exausted!"

"So what did you do after the gym"

"Oh, well, we watched some boring movie on the tv, then he had to go.."

"Hey, can you do me a favour and move your panties to the side?"

she looks nervous

"Oh Honey, Im not up for sex right now.."

"I dont want sex. Just move them."

she slowly moves her panties to the side

she looks at you with regret

"Im sorry, baby.. I dont know what's wrong with me."

You feel an erection start to grow

"What did you do?"

"We came back home to watch a movie, but as we sat there, i saw his hard dick bulging through his pants, and i had to touch it."

you use your imagination

You get more excited, and you pull out your dick.

Your girlfriend looks down and gives you that devilish smirk

"then what happened?"

She starts to rub herself with you.

"We started making out, Grinding on each other, till i begged him to fuck me.Mmm"

Your already getting close, you always cum quick to her story's.

"Keep Talking. ughh"

"Then he took me with his huge cock, and pounded me like i wanted him to all day. I came so many times it was amazing."

"he finally filled me up and made me cum i had him reply back to you so you were not worried"

You replay the text in your head

"your a dirty whore sneaking around me you know that?"

she moans

"I know.."

"Was he that much better than me?"

she looks up at you and nods lustfully

You shoot a huge load all over her.

"oh fuck babe that was alot.. I would love to make new storys to tell you."

"mhm"

You think about everything that happened.

you feel anxious and excited.

You decide to set up cameras to keep track of Ashely.

Shes getting more daring everyday and you want to make sure you get to see it all.

You finally lay down in bed and go to sleep.

#corruption #dumb thicc #phat ass white girl #dumbification #bimboification #brainwashed #mind conditioning #cheating sex #bimbo doll #cheating woman

[trainingdummyrabbit]

okok. more canto6 thoughts now that ive had time to think abt it

ill be real, i dont think this one was for me! it was fun n all, but im thinking less about The Actual Chapter and more about The Things Around It. ill admit, im not rrrrreally that big on solidly romantic stories the way heath/cathy did it. what gets me about those two is the undying loyalty and self-destructive nature of them, the lengths theyre willing to go. but its more in how it defines Them than it does Their Bond, if that makes sense.

. and yeah i Did kinda go 'Ah. Of Course.' at the 'they just didnt talk to each other :(' thing. like i get it, i respect it, but also iiiiii just dont like those, personally. i like how it defines heathcliffs character and his dual-running fear and avoidance, but god.... man. the door scene was kinda frustrating dkjfgnkdjf

i think nelly can do whatever she wants forever.

i still dont know what happens in leviathan but that was cool, verg. im glad im getting t see more of him this way bc the only thing i have on his Character Notes Totally Real is "was mean to donqui once" and well. well! (<- oversimplification for comedic effect)

i like the aesthetic of the chapter, a lot of it was really fun. they SUPER lost me early-to-mid part 3 though what the Fuck are you all talking about. i probably just need to Actually Catch Up but they Really kicked the door down w that one. iwas expecting distortion!heath to be a bigger deal, but alas. no self-destructive not-catharsis pupy for me. shame.

i do really like how heathcliffs character bloomed though. all i ever really got to see of him beforehand was 'angry guy' and 'prime ship material' (which isnt his fault at all) so im glad he got a lot of stuff to work with. i like him just fine :) im especially glad a lot of the softer bits of him were emphasized-- it works well with him. that hand in hand with the dichotomy of how hes treated vs how cathy sees him (<- thinks abt the song ok thinks really hard ill get there) and like. i just like seeing that he is cared for and appreciated. im forever going to be thinking about "my heathcliff" from dante-- its the multiverse thing yeah but also It Isnt. To Me. Thats Their Heathcliff. Our Heathcliff. Thats Our Guy!!!

(one day ill get to digging into c5.5 and its tie in with c6, the dante-donqui-heath dynamic means a lot to me in a way i cant describe yet.)

im not going to talk abt the hermannsgroup lore because i dont understand and i havent actually met her yet. you understand. it has gone fully and completely over my head and i dont want t do it a disservice just because im confused. 👍

i didnt see nelly coming from a mile away which is Very funny bc there was a 'if you die nelly i swear to god i will fucking Get you.' right before the reveal KSJGNKDJG;; n honestly. yeah girl kill. do what you want. reasonable response for watching two people you care about tiptoe-dance around each other accidentally making each other worse in a spiral of misery and all you can do is watch and ineffectively try to help because theyre. theyre Them. worlds most painful will-they-wont-they you are contractually obligated to watch. that is so funny. she can do whatever she wants forever.

Why Does Erlking Heath Act Like That. Why Does He Sound Like That.

Dante Can Just Do That ?? good for them. im proud of them.

anyway. the song. gonna go fucking insane over this for a while, ok? milisong contractual obligation. im SO GLAD it ended up being a segmented duet, the way each piece sounds so empty without the other is so. fucking good. the dichotomy between resignation and yearning kills. SO hard. ("hello / goodnight, goodbye / hello.." explodes.)

milis range REALLY gets to shine here and im SO into it. the imagery of a single-sided dance struck between shots is SUCH. GOOD FRAMING. UGH.

and the lines here, throwing back to a previous point:

..as if cathy is gently correcting heathcliff's lamenting as he speaks, entirely unheard, unfelt. (i cant quite recall if we actually get to hear cathy's side during the first appearance of the track... but that hits; yeah;)

and then, later on, the "delete" interlude-- its cathy who begins the march First, on the forward beat. heathcliff's end kicks in on the back beat, almost as if following, pulled along; building up momentum as each end pushes each other forward. cathy's seems laced with Choice, a necessary sacrifice-- and heathcliffs rings almost empty, something he simply Must Do.

, the completely simultaneous "how could i know?" hurt.

motherfuckers really using each others image to hurt themselves huh..... grabbing and SHAKING them. oh my god. and most importantly:

the message is that they LOVE YOU, IDIOT !!!!!!!!

heathcliff being symbolized as a flower means the whole world to me, is what im saying.

the fact that the entire thing rings of motion with every step, ebbs and flows as if waiting for a partner to pick up that cast-- how empty it feels without the other to compliment it.

the setup for the entire final fight was Phenomenal. im always a sucker for duets, and they manifested that Perfectly. cathys design kills me and im mad about it and if you know you know because ive already yelled at you about it by now. fine FINE maybe im BIASED. itsnot MY fault they keep doing this 2 me!!!!!!!!

. "im clearing the cathys" was supposed to be a JOKE.

why did we just Delete A Person?????? another 'im not gonna talk abt it because ill do a disservice via confusion' but HUH??? HUH HUH??????? WHAT?????????????

ill give it one thing though, i Am obsessed with the "they were always destined to break each others' hearts" aka "This Shit Just Keeps Happening" throughline, something something Death Will Not Do Us Part You Stupid Fucking Idiot(tm). its Deeply funny and equal parts compelling and frustrating.

this one. this one was a lot, basicaly, a lot more than i thought theyd do; some of it hit some of it didnt, but i just think heath and cathy are neat :] i would love to try to dig into cathys mess sometime, but ill be real. i probably wont get anywhere with it <//33

nelly can do whatever she wants forever.

#this ones more honest than the other one; im probably missing+misinterping stuff so pleas b patient im just a lil guy #canto 6 spoilers #limbus spoilers #projmoon #piktalk

[ratkidpoopoop]

shinichiro x male reader birthday fanfic

warnings: male reader, top male reader, ncn (consent non consest), choking, edging, threats, degradation, belt as handcuffs, shitty writing.

a/n: its shinichiros birthday so i wrote a fanfic for him and here it is. this is shitty writing. this is a male reader ff but i could easily be read as gn reader. and i didnt proof read all of it so its most likey terrible.

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shinichiro has always been such a good boy. during sex and just in-general. shinichiro is a little cum slut for you, he always listens and obey's your orders and requests of he, and he does everything with out a thought. so as a reward you let him choice what happens tonight after he closes up the shop.

when shin got home you took him straight up to your shared bedroom, sitting he down on the bed he looked confused. "uh Y/N whats going on"? " well i thought it would be nice to let you choice what we do tonight for your birthday, you know is there anything you wanna try?" you ask as he blushes hard.

"w-well to be honest i have wanted to try something... could we maybe u-, nevermind forget it, you can choose" shin said looking down and shy. " shin, you can choose, dont be embarassed" shin looked up with a red face " we have never done this but could we try NCN, i just wanna try we dont have to-" 'if you want to we can" you said trying to make him feel comfortable.

_______

before you knew it you were already making shinichiro's lil fantasy come true, grabbing his waist and flipping him on his back. while ripping his shirt off he squealed 'wait' . completely ignoring your boyfriends requests to pulled his pants down to his ankles and struggling to take the pants off from around his feet. gripping his thighs and pulling him to the edge of the bed. you pushed his legs back and spit on his enterance then stapped his ass, you unbuckeled your belt and tied his wrists together, you pulled you pants down and took your shirt off.

you spit on your cock, stroking yourself back and forth quickly before pushing in so fast shin choked a little. shin arched his back and screamed "AH-HA, Y-N p-Please, fuck stop, y-your fucker get your hand off m-e". smirking you wrapped your hand around his neck and put pressure on his throat. he tried to push you away with his restrained hand but failed, you thrusted and deeply as you could making him whimper " stop you f-fucking asshole-"

although shin is acting you wanted to make him regret what he said. you squeezed his neck harder and fisted his dick, pumping it harder and harder the sloppier your thrust get. "h-ha" shin's face was so red you could see veins poping out of his temples. sweat dripping down his face, his hair slick to his forhead and his hard cock twitching in your hand.

"fu-ck, ugh" shin tried to slur out "c-m" you could tell he was about to cum although you could bearly hear him. "if you cum ill fucking kill you, slut" you whispered in his ear. shin has been praised by you too many times to count but the first time you calling him a slut he could hold back. his body twiched as he came in your hand. you let go of his neck and of his dick, he sat up feeling worried he really did something wrong, you said nothing and looked down before starting to laugh.

" haha, shin i said dont cum. so did you like the fact i called you a slut or could you just not hold back"? shin smiled before saying " i liked it when you called me a slut, it is new and i like the way you said it" shin said with a red tone on his cheeks

grinning at him before pushing him on the bed and growling in his ear " listen slut, i didnt finish yet, i still have to fill up my cumdump dont i"?

#tokyo revenger smut #tokyo revengers #tokyorev headcanons #tokyo rev #tokyo rev smut #tokyo revengers x reader #sub tokyo revengers #tokyorev x male reader #tokyo rev x you #shinchiro sano #shinichiro smut #shinichiro x reader #shinichiro drabble #tokyo revengers shinichiro #tokrev shinichiro #tokyo revenger x male reader #shinichiro x male reader

[evergreen-femme]

diarypost

why has my appearance always been, overwhelmingly probably, the main thing i've always been concerned about? it eats my brain and always has, and i can only recognize that i like myself as i exist *right now*, that i am finally pretty, sometimes. and yet ill look at pictures of my body from just 6 months to a year ago and think "what the fuck she was so hot what happened" every single time. and idk if this is some kind of mental programmimg error or loop or something because my mental architecture was developed in the complete absence of ever feeling even remotely good about how i looked. like it doesn't even know how to handle positive self-perception, much less process it and incorporate it into my self image. poor girl needed some positive body image and never once got it or thought she was worth anything. idk it feels like such an overwhelming need these days im crying just thinking about it

like literally that manga panel with the "if i can't be cute then what's even the point of living"... that feeling stretched out to infinity all the time

yeah im a girl but i feel like i only got to be a cute girl for like less than a year and that almost all happened during the really traumatic circumstances of me coming out. and the cute part was always mandatory for me. i feel like if i can't see myself as cute im going to die, but it just gets into my head that i transitioned on the cusp of my 30s and not my 20s and there so much socialization and fun and dressing up i missed and i feel like because of my age i have maybe a year or two of that left and even then i feel a bit too old for it.

like i was a huge nerd but more than that i was just the socially stunted outcast. i never even had friends close enough to invite over throughout my entire childhood. not one. i got to party a bit in college but i wasnt a fucking GIRL then so i stood around being *really really* bad at being a guy and hoping like. girls would notice my skin and how pale i was or something idk. obviously never happened. i got told by my roommate how badly i fumbled the possibility to be the "pimp of our dorm building" because i tried to join a female friend group. over and over he'd talk about it and he never fucking got that i just wanted to be one of them! i just wanted to wear dresses and get pretty together and feel cute and accepted and not on-guard for once. ofc it never got that far (god, god i wish it had my life would have been so much happier) bc of me. and my stupid sexuality. like i hooked up with this weird girl who hinted at doing bdsm with me (ofc it ended up with her wanting me to dom and nothing happening bc of that) but she told fucking everyone and i literally had started reading all this girl's writing to get to know her and writing bad poetry about her (ugh) but yea turns out she was cheating on her boyfriend back home ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and just wanted to hook up and tell everyone the details (like lol he has a big cock but is submissive 🤢)

like over breakfast

and then poof nobody wants to be my friend anymore.

but anyway yea i just need to have that life that i never got in my 20s but all things are convalescing to make me believe that im too old for it and i'll have to live the rest of my life carrying that yawning absence with me

and its already so heavy at 31 i dont know how im going to be able to handle it as i get older

also worth noting that that was my first sexual experience ever.

#diaryposting #pls do not reblog

[nino-rox]

TRIGGER WARNING : Mental Health Rant

DONT READ BECAUSE ITS NOT WORTH your TIME i think

This is a rant/vent post because I’m feeling stuff? I guess? I don’t know…

So i don’t even know know why I’m posting this here but the gist of it is I just heard of Dysthymia (mild but chronic depression) today for the first time.

I searched it up and a online test popped up for it - it was a pretty small test - likely inaccurate.

It asked me some questions that had me in shock and then later diagnosed me as Dysthymic.

And I’m in Los Angeles for college far from home and I wanted to tell someone what happened and as i scrolled through my Insta/snapchat/iMsgs I realised i didn’t quite have someone to share this weird thing that happened with.

It’s not that I dont have anyone - I’m extremely blessed, have a very loving and supportive family, a few very close friends; I’m super lucky so I feel grateful to God for it - point is everyone was on the other side of the planet and I didn’t for some reason feel like sending it to them. I even scrolled through my call logs and FaceTime history and couldn’t find a single person.

Since the longest time I’ve always thought I had people I can count on for any situation - I DO, but i don’t know its just so * indescribable * ugh wtf

Anyway, the other day, my sim card here stopped working and It was when i really needed it due to some work, without internet or data it would prove complicated to make a safe Uber ride or just f anything went south id be screwed.

I needed to go to the SIM card store for a replacement sim - i couldn’t find a single person to come with me, not a single call was returned.

One person texted and they were helpful and said they’re tired so can’t go - UNDERSTANDABLE and COMPLETELY OKAY !! - yet i felt like crap hearing that because if I pride myself on one thing its being an exceptionally kind and loving social person, and even if someone who i know as an acquaintance had asked me for something like this i think i would’ve dropped everything because it was someone’s time for need. I understand that people are different, and i dont want to sound entitled by saying something stupid like they’re obligated to go out with me in a scenario like this but i felt so appalled and i felt like i didn’t really know myself or anything because I’m probably one of those people who literally knows everyone on campus, at least in my batch (2026).

Everyone always says even today that you’re so sweet and you literally know everyone - this makes it so much worse - I’m sweet and know everyone and yet i wasn’t able to cultivate a single friendship or professional relationship to the level where i could count on someone for something like this .

For the record, thanks to my family I knew people (family friends etc..) i could still call in case of a serious emergency - i didn’t feel like this was serious, it was just … ??? »????????????????

ANyway i went alone and by the end of it I told myself i was being so dramatic over something stupid like a sim.

But i don’t know

.

Either way, thats that - I’m sorry I’ve been inactive and havent had time to work on requests - ill get started soon !

IM sorry for posting this on here i don’t even know why I’m doing this lol.

Also if someone is kind enough to reply/comment to this post ; i truly do appreciate it and it means the world, but i don’t know if ill be mentally ready to reply to the comments on this post if any.

Lots of love

- Nino

#tw rant #tw mental health

[sojutrait]

thank you so much!!! 😭💓💓💓hope u feel better omg fuck the plague

i just simply started making sims kdjfkdk

I DO im so happy season 2 has started it reminds me sm of old school sims 4 lets plays with storylines and such UGHHH im so glad that style is making a resurgence

thank u!! again im so unhelpful when it comes to advice on making sims bc i really jus Go for it 😭 i dont really have a different approach when it comes to making masc frame sims either

probably not bc its such a small action (like theres only 2 or 3 steps iirc) it just wouldnt be worth the hassle and i dont think that many ppl would find any use out of it😭😭

well,,,, tis the season 🤔

i highly doubt it dkfdkkd

i didnt its from the gallery! i just decked out the inside

ahhh i play on desktop but theres 3 and 4 columns for different screen sizes u can read more about it on the actual mod page iirc

my defaults should be good but my mods arent but i cba to update them rn 😭

( @simarcana ) TYYYYYYY she really is, i just wanna spin her around in cas all day and gawk dkfndk

my only tip would be dont dress them in clothes only if u would wear it/its your style. more so let it be a reflection of their character and their own fashion sense. theres alot of my sims id never dress like djfdkfkd but i know its something they would like !

NOW- DIFJDIFJDK me and nia orphyd have written many dissertations about... That aspect of dante's life but i will not confirm nor deny if that was included

im drawing up blanks too rn 😭😭😭 id suggest if u already know like the ethnicity of ur founder sim to just google last names from that culture and go from there, thats what i usually do dfjkd

10!

thank u omg but no i would feel bad if anyone gave me their money esp considering my tendency to like.. dip for weeks at a time DFKDJK also love u tumblr but i absolutely do not trust u with my credit card information

strip naked/bald, facial features, skin details, hair, clothes, repeat any steps if i dont like what i picked initially

( @thatoneplumbob ) no thank u for enjoying them !!! 💓💓💓😭😭

thats an easy one i dont JFKDJFK thats all neighborhood stories and mcc, i would simply die if i had to do all that myself 😭😭😭 i just pop in and give them quick makeovers

( @cutie-with-glasses-blog ) thank u so much !!! u have a great day as well 💓💓💓😌

i havent, im not a big marvel movie fan 😭😭 BUTTTTT i have seen edits and fancams of shuris actress and i agree i would also sell my kidneys and yours for her, shes so fine

( @wildsangria ) THE WAY I ALREADY FORGOT THIS DISCOURSE HAPPENEDDHFDJHDJ ugh throwback to when i gatekept the decades old tabletop rpg game dungeons and dragons

ive been staring at this in my inbox for almost a month and it never fails to make me laugh yet also feel horrified great job you two

WELL GOOD NEWS I DID and ive only made one hs so far!! buttttt it was before hsy so it doesnt work with the pack 😭😭 ill prob make one for hsy eventually bc as much as i hate building im also drawn to it like a moth to flame

thank u!! but ahhh no i havent been having any problems with uni

thank u, i hope ur having a great day too! tbh its not like something i put like... effort into if that makes sense KJDSK like for my gameplay sims no matter how casual i try to make it i inevitably start adding unnecessary depth into them 😭😭 like ill just be cleaning my house and think hmmm this sim hates this food or once had this happen to them, so pretty much the same approach i do to my ocs!

I ACTUALLY RECORDED A VIDEO i just gotta grow some bawlz and upload it 😭😭 its just a quick cas vid for a sim i wanna do gameplay with on there but im still peeing in nervousness

TYYYY i am doing well i rlly am 😌😌 im on winterbreak so YIPEEEE hope ur both doing well too!

#asks #anon #simarcana #thatoneplumbob #cutie-with-glasses-blog #wildsangria

[krowsselfindulgy]

IDK HOW TUMBLR WORKS I HOPE IM DOING THIS RIGHT! Do 4 with Curt and Kristine i feel like that would be hilarious

A/N: Time to remember what knowledge was there from the oversimplified prohibition period! This was a nice thing to write through. Thanks, anonymous! Whoever you can be. (lighthearted)

Escape The Night AU/Scenario

They open the door with a creak.

"This is... empty." Ivan looks from the back of the rest whilst Den coughs.

"Oh god what the hell-" She continues coughing as Curt pats her back. Christian walks into the dark room, a paper in hand.

"Wow, this is..." Kristine follows his lead, a flashlight in her hand. It illuminates alan unkempt stage, bar area and multiple seats and tables.

"Is this it?"

"Looks like it. Its an abandoned speakeasy." Curt holds another flashlight, it pointing to something on the stage. It seems to be an upside down pyramid shaped... Thing. The bottom is bent to look like its suctioning the wood it stand on. Though, it looks more like a wine glass now that she thinks about it...

"There! Thats the artifact!" Den state the obvious as she runs up to it, trying to snatch it from the pedestal its placed on.

"Wait, dont touch it yet! You wont know what it does." Curt easily catches up to her.

"Why not? I dont want to go do another voting thingy! Ill just take it, easy!" She faces towards him whilst walking back to the artifact before turning to it hastily, easily getting it out of its place. Nothing happens. Kristines looks around the place curiously.

"Thats... Easy-" The sudden round of jazz music made her jump. What she doesnt notice is Christian getting the paper.

"At least this tells us what to do..." Amongst the music, his voice just sounds like a second echo.

"Ugh, could that music just STOP already?!" Ivans dreads as he covers his ears.

"Den, place it back!" Christian turns to her, whos shaking the artifact.

"Ooh, theres alcohol in here..." Den tries to open it by herself, which, proves to not budge.

"DEN!" Now she can hear his voice.

"Uh, huh?"

"PLACE IT BACK THERE!" Den... Looks away from him. "Oh my GOD. DEN."

"Fine, fine...." She places it back on the pedestal, and the music stops. Everyone gives a sigh of relief.

"Fucking finally I can read this, ahem...

'Before you is the artifact you are looking for. Sadly, it is incomplete and will need some ingredients to complete the cocktail. This place is full of-' POISON GAS?! WHAT THE FUCK?! 'and the cocktail will provide the cure. But first,'"

A light from above shines onto a box on the table.

"Oh shit, uh, 'Two people will have to volunteer themselves.'

Now what the hell does that mean?"

"We wont know until after it happens."

"Then why dont you do it, Ivan?"

"I LITERALLY HELPED YOU ALL WITH THE LAST ONE I AM NOT RISKING MY LIFE AGAIN-"

"Okay, okay, its fine Ivan. Ill do it, it alright. Kristine will also, 'cause Ill be dragging her into this."

"Wait, why I dont wanna do this-" She sputters out

"Dont worry, you will." He grabs Kristine as he walks over to the table. "So... What do I do, Christian?"

"Oh. Put your hands in there."

"Okay so can I just NOT do this, pleas-"

"Kristine yoive literally done almost nothing."

"Noooooo!" She reluctantly places her habd in the box, right after Curt, and then...

Click!

She decides to pull her hand out and- "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Oh my god you two are handcuffed." Ivan looks on with surprise. "So, what do we do now?" Everyone looks over to Christian, though nervous ftom hearing other footsteps from inside. Christian takes a deep breath in...

"RUN." And sprints out the front door with a cheeky grin.

"Hey, what the-"

"Bitch!"

"I am not going to make it..."

"You literally have me with you, Kris-" Gunshots quickly sound the room.

"OH GOD IS THIS A CHASE SEQUENCE?!" Ivan decides to run after Christian, wherever hes gone through. Den goes to the back door, surprisingly not getting hit. Kristine has multiple questions in her mind before being carried away from the scene because of Curt.

"PUT ME DOWN, PUT ME DOWN, PUT ME DOOOWN!" She could probably hear him laughing at this.

...

She doesnt know how long hes running for.

"Are we safe, Kristine?"

"Looks like it, can you put me down no-"

"Not yet."

"Come on... What are we supposed to find, anyways?"

"Itd probably be noticable, but I think... Ingredients? What can you think?"

"Something like... Lime? Other alcohol stuff?"

"Oh, maybe that clinic over there. We could probably find something there... Maybe..?"

"Alright..." She gets finally put down as they both go inside...

"Oh. So this is it." Before them is a table with three bottles in a clear glass, visibly in different colors: red, blue, and yellow. They both walk forward and grab the paper.

"Find the color Brown." Kristine

"Damn, I know... Nothing about this."

"Me too! Do we just... Mix it all together? Then just chug it."

"Were not supposed to chug it, Kristine."

"I know, I know!

...

But..."

"Oh my god..." Kristine giggles. "Why am i with you?"

"Your fault now deal with MY bullshit!" They both laugh.

"But, mixing it all together seems plausible. Do it." Kristine grabs the bottles and mixes them up together, it all in a small bottle.

"Yep, thats brown! Ill keep it." Kristine hands over the mixture to Curt, keeping it in his pocket.

"Oh yea, that artifact needs... Four ingredients, right? Those four compartments?"

"Good eye." They were interrupted by a gunshot.

Kristine looks out, despite her doubts. "Den..?"

Den holds out a gun in one hand, artifact in the other. She eyes around for anyone else.

"DEN!" She says again whilst runs out, before hearing a thud. "Oh. Sorry Curt." He looks back at her, inconvenienced. The two look back to run over to her.

"Hey! We got something!" Curt alarms her.

"Put it here!" Den runs over to them as Curt pours in the substance. "What is that?"

"Probably more alcohol. How many did you get?"

"Ivan should be here with one of them. I was just trying to take care of these guys."

"You havent found Christian?"

"No. Not at all. Was hoping he got something."

"HERE!" Ivan runs in with another bottle, pouring it in.

"Two down, two more... Where have you searched?"

"The clinic, right over there." Kristine pointd over to where they were.

"I just stole something from a house."

"Good job, Ivan. Ill try to search somewhere else, so you carry this." She hands over the artifact to him.

"Wait, wha- aaannd shes gone. Where the hell..."

"I can go somewhere else-" Kristine walks back before she trips bit keeps her stand. "Sorry! I forgot about-"

"The handcuff thing."

"The handcuff thing."

"God damnit, why did those weird lights bring us into here..." Ivan furrows his brow at Curts statement.

"Wait... Lights... Wouldnt that be... Den?"

"Den?" Kristine seems confused at that inquiry.

"Yea. Shes the god of chaos with like, multiple souls in her body."

"Oh shit. The souls revoluted?!"

"Maybe? I dont know. The only person who could know about it is...

Chilly."

"What is she again?"

"Raptor God. I... Dont know where she went." They were soon interrupted by a rushing Den with an injured Christian.

"I FOUND IT! THE TWO!"

"CHRISTIAN!" Curt runs towards them causing Kristine to almost get dragged across the street.

"HEY HEY HEY! IM HANDCUFFED TO YOU!"

"Sorry!" Curt picks Kristine up again.

"WHY?! I DID NOT CONSENT!"

"Okay, Ill put you down." He eyes worridly to his injured friend.

"WERE YOU GUYS JUST STANDING HERE?!" Insert an awkward silence.

"Is Christian alright?"

"Im fine..." Definitely not. Absolutely not. "Now wheres the one..." Den places her ingredient into the artifact, then Christian places his in, blood accidentaly dripping onto the item. It glows on where it was.

"What the hell does that mean..." He picks it up and Ivan notices a peculiarly shaped thick paper on the ground, its ends being a weird, short ridge poking out of it in an even space. He picks it up.

"Yo, I think this dropped a paper."

"Read it, Ivan."

"Alright,

'You have found four ingredients, but are missing one. An essence of someones life.' God damnit." The rest groan in response. " 'You will have to vote on two people to fight the people chasing after you. Quite a show, is it not?

Well then, you have the key.'

Thats it...."

"When are we not going to be handcuffed anymore? If one of us gets in, how about ME?"

"Yea, how about- Kristine."

"That was a joke!" Christian eyes the paper for a few moments, grabbing it and looking to Curt.

"Give me your hand."

"The cuffed one?" He nods in response. Curt shows him and Christian uses the oddly shaped paper to unlock the handcuffs. "Oh..."

"Ah, smart!" And thus, they are free from whatever that volunteering was for. "So, how do we vote?"

"Thats easy!" A cheery person appears to them like a goddess, her rather strange arm holding out papers. "Sorry for being late."

"What are you hiding..?" Ivan stares at Chilly. She stares back, in the creepy way like a doll could.

"Just write the name of whom you want to participate in these papers! Just one, though! But, lets go somewhere else comfortable so that someone doesnt shoot you all in the open." She walks away.

The rest have no choice but to follow. To control and be controlled of their lives

A/N: Time to remember what knowledge was there from the oversimplified prohibition period! Th

#alcohol #swearing cw #swearing #recreyo #Krows Tumblr Request #Anonymous has asked: Silver shall receive!

[revenant-coining]

i couldve sworn i sent an ask or at least wrote a draft responding to all of this oh well KFJDSKLJ

you know i never really thought about how time works there thats so cool it sounds like in the overworld and the nether but instead of blocks its time !! :D how long do you think your dimensions time would equal to this dimensions ?? i wanna write down calculations you got me into dimensions !!

well i guess yeah you couldve just strived to find natural chaos but still i feel like its part of your job or life source to cause a little havoc . do you live off of chaos ?? and is there a difference between natural chaos and chaos you would cause ?? im glad you at least remember the emotions though that counts wee !!

DFJDJKF mood i have no idea about any type of politics other then theres a lot of discourse around it and i dont really wanna be apart of that /lh ooo but thanks for letting me know !! 

woah that is soo interesting im really glad money isnt as important because its such a big hassle tbh ?? do beings there need to eat or what did they usually pay for how come money isnt that needed ?? id love if we just used the trading system i feel like its soo much more useful what kinds of chores or quests were there if you remember ?? 

sorry if i ask things you already mentioned you cant remember btw i wanna ask if its alright to make a list of everything ive learnt about in your dimension ?? /nf

woah you are like a strong guy /neu then :D /pos [ neu is next to guy to mean that guy is used gender neutrally ] 

OH MY GOD THATS SOO COOL !!! what were the interactions between mortals and hell heaven beings ?? were they jealous or did they welcome them ?? ahh what were the humans culture too if you know ?? what kind of music did they play or did you listen to ??

ooo sounds like where the four legged spiders belonged HEHE but woah maybe thats the place where it was the torturing souls place 

ooo i love that !! sounds like it fits her very well :D is there a separate place where mortals go when they enter the afterlife ?? is that what fate does does she manage afterlife stuff ??

YEESS as he should i looove looking at minecraft builds theyre so pretty most of our headmates love playing minecraft what about you do you or have you ever played ?? and yup ill make one later today !! eee /pos

ooo thats so cool i like how you guys are like a team :D what kinds of natural disasters would happen there ?? thats so interesting were you usually collecting chaos or like you said you mostly just balance the chaos in the dimension how would you do that ?? like would you eat the chaos ??? :O that sounds like so much fun just noming and throwing yourself idk how people would feel neg about that !! /genc [ gen confusion ]

okay good because ugh please tell me more if i havent asked yet !! YEESS how could i not love learning i have stuff to learn about this earth realm but now theres more !! its all so cool and fun to learn about weee !!!

ahh yeah well do you at least enjoy being human ?? or is it at least toleratable ?? if you went back would you come visit beings here ?? ooo yeah just something that popped up me too i hoped they have the situation handled :O

YES YES YES nesting just makes the brain goo brrrr and for my tism its just yes yes yes soothing and comforting when we get enough money we wanna be able to split it up so that each main fronter can buy whatever they want !! but yeah maybe trying rolling your rs to mimic purring ?? we cant pur too and i can make rumbles myself 

WOAH WOAH WOAH you said the only one you remember was teh four legged spider right ahh that dimension sounds so cool i wanna visit some time !! are there different forms of magic like elemental magic or ?? :O 

woah as the god of chaos id assume you were made once chaos was made like arguements started i wonder if its like the god and satan thing where someone was the god of chaos before you :O

i mightve asked another question related to dimensions sorry i just really like learning about all dimensions now you got me hooked /pos !! are there any other pocket or sub dimensions you know of or is it only yours , fates , and the red dimension ??

oooo alright got it noted !!!

aww i love that im glad they make it easier to handle !! do you have any memories connected to your coping links or is it just in terms of form ?? 

- ramble anon

i'm not sure how i'd measure time here, though i could theorize that i am capable of getting energy back while in this body, and it's just taking a really long time for that to happen.

that's what i'm saying! what's a god of chaos who doesn't cause chaos? /lh if i don't have any chaos i just get really tired and sluggish. naturally caused chaos and caused by me chaos are the same, it's just the way it's caused that's different.

some beings need to eat my but all of them. i didn't need to eat but i'd do it anyway cause food is very tasty. money isn't that important cause why trade to get money to buy things when you could just trade for the thing? /lh. the quest stuff i'd usually do is foraging, i'd wander off into the wild of hell and find specific plants so others didn't have to do it themselves.

i don't mind a list of my dimension's info, feel free to make one :] /gen

i was a very strong guy /lh

i didn't interact with mortals much but there is A GUARDIAN SYSTEM!! mortals would go to magic schools and, in some cases, get a guardian. a guardian ranges from humanoids to creatures, and sometimes a heaven/hell being would be chosen. the guardian's main objective is to protect the person they're a guardian for. human culture is almost exact to this dimension human cultures, but different cause humans can use magic and stuff. they made the same genres of music this dimension has, and i'd mainly listen to any type of rock.

that's an interesting theory :o I've never considered that before

just like heaven and hell are sub-dimension, all types of afterlife were also sub-dimension. if you had a theory for what the afterlife was like, that's where you'd go when you died, if you believed in multiple you got to choose, if you didn't believe in an afterlife you would just. cease to exist, i think. and yeah Fate manages afterlife stuff as well, like making sure everyone gets to their afterlife.

i play minecraft ALL THE TIME in this world. it's on of my fav games :]

i'm consistently collecting chaos as long as it's being made, so all the time I'm getting it, but i'd also be using it often (using my tendrils uses chaos energy). i collect it by being in the same "parent" dimension it's being made in (so i still get chaos from my dimension when in sub- dimensions) and i balance it by existed, so i experience the results of to much or to little chaos so the dimension doesn't have to. noming is sooo much fun, I've had bitten all my friends, guaranteed. i guess people didn't like cause they didn't like being...surprised? but honestly i don't know /gen

being human is pretty fun, and i'm so glad there's a nonhuman community /gen, and i don't think i would've thought about my gender if i didn't have agab dysphoria from this body. if i could figure out where this dimension is after i got home i'd probably visit!

nesting is the best :] and thank you for the idea! I'll have to try that /gen

yeah there's all kinds of magic! any element or material can bu used in/as magic. my fav I've seen is controlling shadows

i was created after chaos existed, but there wasn't many beings that would be affected by the chaos being out of control yet. it wasn't until chaos was in line that species really started. mortals started existing a long while after i was made.

there's so many pocket and sub-dimensions it would be impossible to keep track, but mine, Fate's and the Red Dimension i remember the clearest /gen

yeah it helps a lot to be like 'the reason my brain isn't working is cause i'm a zombie and therefore don't have a brain' instead of freaking out about it. i don't have any memories from them, it's just the forms /gen

#long post #ramble anon #anon #🪼 asks

[96xie]

stepping back

i think this is a topic that was bound to come up sooner or later but i think its kinda good that it was brought up so i can rethink some things. im veryyyy vocal about not having kids. everybody should expect that i will not be popping a baby out of me. nope. like have you seen the state of this world? have you seen how expensive it is to raise one?? how your mental peace is gone? how theres really no time for yourself? i love and value my alone time and peace so much like ... i really cant be sacrificing that. i can help raise and take care of my friends and family’s babies, like i can definitely do that but at the end of the day im able to have time for myself. 

i thought about being a foster parent or possibly adopt but like even those arent forsure. i just know i will not be raising a baby !!! also my mental state is so whack like, im still recovering from the trauma my parents had inflicted on me and im just so worried that what if i unintentionally treat my child the same way my parents had done to me? i would hate that so much. im still learning to love myself and to honor my body, its so difficult. 

he brought up how he would be a great dad and HONESTLY he would be !! and that kinda triggered me cuz i already implied tht i would just raise dogs and stuff. and yeah, made me a bit upset because i do like him and id like a future with him but if he wants kids and i dont, why should i continue to pursue him? like im just gonna disappoint him in the future, should i just like end it now? and now im disappointed because all these months made me believe like ~i feel like we’ll have a future together since he’s asking me to wait for him and all these stuff~ and now im rethinking it. like ive see so many stories where couples that have been together for yearssssss break apart because one wants kids and one doesnt and that makes me SO upset. ive seen how broken my parents were and i dont want that that to happen to me. im so used to disappointments that im so well guarded and im preparing myself to get away from heartbreaks. and i just want to nip this in the bud so i dont have to stress over it in the future, ya know? iono im just. ugh really. i dont want to be heartbroken in the future, i want to prevent that. and this sucks cuz YA KNOW i like him alot but if our ideas dont align, why bother trying? at the same time, we’re still early in the talking stages i guess.... i mean 7 months is kinda ..... yeah ... i mean anyways theres intentions of getting serious but i guess i can reserve this convo in person, if we ever get there.

i should just let live. maybe go on a date or two. i shouldnt be placing all my eggs in his basket. my friend something the other day that made me upset: “truthfully its gonna be hard to find someone who doesnt want kids either” and it dealt a blow on me. like ... do i have to accept that ill be alone in this lifetime? obviously alone doesnt equate to lonely but like ... am i meant to not have a lover who doesnt share the same ideals as me? yeah ... i guess thats it. i should have fun in the meantime

i need to step back, relax and just not stress out over this. yet .... i am SO stressed. im just tired of dating. im tired of wearing my heart on my sleeve. :(

#siiiiiigh i rly thought it was going well but maybe i shouldnt stress out over this too much

[kusundei]

genuinelywhy does the worst shit have to happen to me when im already tweaking

like no i knew. i knew the conversation from yesterday w ellis wasnt enough. knew in my heart yet i ignored jt and chose to be happy. joyous because gof forbid all i know is doom and gloom. its just.? why? whyyyy is this still a problem?

i dont even care. i dont know why i keep bothering over and over again i know ill have to fold eventually im fighting a losing battle. “i need you to be honest with me” and then you lash me and use it against me when you get the honest truth. i. dont. want. to. go. on. birth. control. period

like? how hard is that? to understand? you bring up the shit i said ab the abortion like sorry??? what happened to my body my choice?,??? and god forbid she starts fucking implanting it into me herself because no im still jer kid. live under this roof she will make every decision. its fine i dont care at this point i dont know why im still fighting. i cant take the easy way out anymore its just sofrustrating? i feel fucking awful. again. god forbid i told her the reason i sont wanna go on birth control is mostly a mental health thing and she lashes me about how im not okay then. “everyone is depressed you think you have it any harder than the rest of us?” like did i fucking say that? itolf you i dont take medication anymore (cause of you) and also just because im choosing to deal with it naturally ajd i get lashed for even getting affected by things. like its just. why. did we.? have to talk about that? and you keep patronizing me over and over and over again and how i never do anythging right . god forbid i wish you could focus for once in your life oncthe smaller things because i am. trying. ive always tried. you just dont notice when its at par to your demand and also when i go back. i get lashed

its just heaaarring you complain ab the showering again is so. ugh. like. i told you i dont have an answer. its a habit? i suppose? but noooo. “ive told you this over and over. i dont want to hear the excuse of ‘its a habit’ because if you wanted to change you would’ve already” like are you hearing yourself??? do you want to apply that to yourself? jonathan maybe? but no im kind. theyre taking the door agajn i suppose and i dont fucking care jts fine. she knew i was getting upset because she started mocking me. i hate when people do that. when people act like im sofucking dumb. and she knows it and does it to get under my skin because she knows how easily she can and i wont ever do anythjnf about it. i just .? imso? upset? i guess? im upset but im also not. imjust so.? tired?

tired of fighting overr and over again. tired of this but maybe its what i get??? i am selfish. she has told me this shit over and over and i dont really change. i do but not enough i guess its just. i cant win. im stuck in that cycle and im trying sooo hard to not acknowledge it. but no it really will haunt me i suppose? stuck and bound to this life? bound to repeat the cycle of hurting over and over again??? i think im so weird right now because i feel so torn. i wanna be sad and i want to cry and be frustrated because i feel it but i also dont want to. or at least i cant? ill always give you the benefit of the doubt. maybe i am just frustrating. no because what you said??? “you wonder why im upset all the time? think about how i feel about you” and its just. ugh. i cant even try to back mtself up because i do feel bad. i feel bad but im also upset and i hate it because i feel so dumb to feel anything at all. im trying not to upset you and ive done it for so long i try to be small i try to not take up space i try to be understanding and helpful but it is. never. ever. enough. and mayhe its just me truly not trying

just. god. i cant. if i end up truly on birth control who cares at this point. theres no guarantee ill get worse but at this point i think ab it and maybe i aalllreaddyy am. but maybe thats the lack of sleep doomed evil sam talking. its weird because honestly the one main fear i have w the birth control is weight gain and that says enough does it not.? i cant eat. havent eaten. tried to eat earlier cuz sav was lashing me and i ate that one??? slice of pizza and i felt so sick after and i still do. not eating well. my pants today kept slipping and iiii know why. last time i checked i hit 141 i think and i dont think id be shocked if ive hit the 130s now. its concerning but also maybe im enabling myself a tad. its fine im not ill i just. am acting like it. but im not

iiii. just wanna talk to ajax maybe. reminds me of last night when i was so tired and delirious and just rambling but i sidnt feel bad because that wasnt affecting me in the moment. i dontknow if i can truly just tell him something like this while its happening because i cant shake that awful feeling ? im tryinggg but its hard. theyre taking the door off the hinge as i type and immm just getting more. evil. but i wont cry i wont show it im fine. tweakish but ill live. i do it to myself anyway the only person who can save me is me ^_^ but even thats hard

if its meant to be then it will be chat. if god so chooses to make me this way then maybe jts bound to happen. maybe hes lashing me because ive been evil lately or something. ive been happier but also all my tweaks have been worse than theyve been in a while and amybe thags what jt is. repenting cause im happy too much. hell even my mom acknowledges it all the time when im happy. wont ever stop being patronized. i just feel. doomed. again. i feel bad but i cant explain which way i do. just bad. heavy. evil. but ill liveee i always do. ill try and sleep a little earlier tonight since i know im probably tweaking as bad as i am because of the lack of sleep as always. but imfine ill. lock in a bit and text him maybe. or i wont and ill repent a little more and then get my phone taken away bht ill try to see the light and live. just have everything playing in my head overand over and over. its allll just so much but its fine illcope i alllwaaays do