#useless in theory

[communistkenobi]

two iron-clad maxims I have learned through researching trans issues:

If an article claims to be talking about LGBTQ issues but doesn’t mention trans people and/or only uses the word queer, it is a waste of time

If an article about transgender politics is posted in a cultural or media studies journal, don’t even bother opening it

#I see you cis gay people! I see you using ‘gay and queer’ like you think you’re so clever! your theory is shit and useless! #leaving gender as sacrosanct as the starting point to talking about homophobia is a non-starter. do not pass go do not collect $200 etc #book club

[powdermelonkeg]

Things I think the Master Sword is made of:

Timeshift Stone (Skyward Sword) — Fi's gem, responsible for abilities in Ocarina of Time

Goddess Plume (Skyward Sword) — Responsible for purple hilt upon upgrade

Eldin Ore (Skyward Sword) — Blade of the Goddess Sword alloy

Fool's Ore (Oracle of Seasons) — Hilt of the Goddess Sword, blade of the Goddess Sword alloy, responsible for greenish tint

Aquanine (Phantom Hourglass) — Core of the Goddess Sword blade

Azurine (Phantom Hourglass) — Core of the Goddess Sword blade

Crimsonine (Phantom Hourglass) — Core of the Goddess Sword blade

Master Ore (A Link Between Worlds) — Blade of the Goddess Sword alloy, shields Fi's gem after upgrade

#loz #zelda #theory #headcanon #me looking through the wiki: 'oh fools ore. bet it's a useless item' #wiki: 'a chunk of this ore does double the damage of the master sword' #me: :O

[haloangel21]

OP’s disbelief and confidence disappearing at the sight of the Star Saber sword shattering into pieces is a nice detail I hadn’t appreciated before—

#talk about a legendary sword you’ve heard so much about and wanted to use #suddenly become useless #in a blink of any eye #someone hug him #eager to hear theories!! #Optimus Prime #Megatron #Star Saber sword #Dark Saber sword #Transformers Prime #TFP #Alpha Omega episode #not my gifs #gif set

[certainstarfishsandwich]

Looking at the stats it's kinda becoming clearer how their downfalls and/or bad ends will play out—Vere's scheming being a 2 and craving for wanton violence will lead him to a bloody end (and he'll take you with him if you don't play your cards right).

Mhin's self loathing and lack of wisdom leading to rash decisions and/or biting off more than they can chew and dying as a result.

At first their stats didn't make sense because Mhin and Vere both seem the type to kill first ask questions later but then I realized, this is them at their worst. Like, one shimmy away from pludging off a cliff

#touchstarved game #touchstarved vere #touchstarved mhin #touchstarved theory #the stats arent all bad in prdicting their death #it can also show how these characters can achieve their respective good endings #Vere's wisdom #Mhin's useless facts #you might not be able to fix them but you can atleast prevent further damage

[chilly-weirdo-in-a-tomb]

Alecto Prediction #8

Alecto will open with an almost word for word recreation of John 20:24 with Harrow filling the role of Thomas and Kiriona filling the role of a resurrected Jesus. True to its biblical counterpart, the scene will include chussy-fingering.

#John 20:24. hmm. interesting. #reach hither thy finger indeed #the Paulycule is pointedly looking away in the background #Alecto is not #her full attention is on these two useless lesbians #when she goes to kill Jod she just full on pulls his heart out and crushes it a la Regina Mills #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #alecto the ninth #tlt #tlt series #alecto predictions #alecto speculation #alecto theories #kiriona gaia #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #alecto #paulycule

[longdeadking]

by the way, i dont think the card from turnabout trump was actually forged.

i dont think thats something phoenix would do. its so out of character. he wouldnt put apollo's career at risk, he wouldn't stoop to the level of forgery, and he wouldnt ever use trucy as a pawn like that.

a lot of people cite this as evidence that aa4 phoenix (or post-7yg phoenix as a whole) is ooc, but i have another explanation:

the card wasnt forged. it was real.

more under cut

phoenix meant the card to be two things: a test and a wakeup call for apollo.

it was a test, a way to guage apollo's reactions to a mentor presenting false evidence, and a mentor betraying him. also it was a test of apollo's faith in phoenix.

when apollo punched phoenix for saying the card was forged, it answered the first to questions: he was willing to accept that someone he trusted lied to him, but he wasnt going to let it slide without retaliating.

(this is what phoenix needs. if apollo had been shy, hesitant, or even on board with false evidence, he would have never been able to take down kristoph.)

and still, apollo keeping his mouth shut and not reporting the false evidence proved to phoenix that despite everything, apollo trusted him to make the right calls and be upstanding, even when it was possible that phoenix broke the law (very important for a future employee of the WAA).

and as much as it was a test for these reactions, the card was a warning to apollo that these things could happen. mentors could betray you. evidence could be misleading or fake. courts could overlook injustices while letting honorable people take the fall.

phoenix needed apollo at his best. he needed him distrusting, suspicious, constantly analyzing everything and refusing the believe something is true unless he sees it with his own eyes. and by pretending that the card is fake, phoenix put apollo in that position.

i am of the firm belief that the card is real, that it happened how phoenix claimed, and that he lied about it being forged. is it still kind of a shitty manipulative thing to do? yeah. but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

#the kings decrees #aa4 #phoenix wright #apollo justice #this follows my bigger theory that beanix wasnt actually useless and broke for seven years #and he was pretending so that he could get close to kristoph to expose him #cause this theory follows that characterization way better #thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[thestuffedalligator]

Here is a totally unprompted, baseless, and useless crackpot theory.

In the poems The Jumblies and The Dong with the Luminous Nose by Edward Lear, Lear describes the Jumblies as having “sky-blue hands and sea-green hair,” and most artists — including Lear himself — would draw them as little humanoid gremlin creatures.

I think he was describing blue and gold macaws.

Blue and gold macaws have blue wings and a prominent green crest on their heads. “Their heads are green, their hands are blue, and they went to sea in a sieve.”

And here’s another fact: Edward Lear was famous for painting parrots. He published an entire book of parrots painted by studying live examples at the London Zoo and from private collections, including the blue and gold macaw.

Which means he definitely studied them in person before he wrote the poem.

Does any of this mean anything? Absolutely not, but you should read some of Edward Lear’s nonsense poetry because he was writing his own private poetic universe and characters and concepts he would describe in one poem would be expanded in others. The Dong is connected to the Jumblies and the Quangle Wangle Quee, which in turn connects him to the Pobble Who Has No Toes, and his name is the Dong.

#edward lear #the jumblies #this is also why when i was tinkering with a dnd setting based on lear poems #jumblies were basically gnomes with parrot wings #because of this totally useless crackpot conspiracy theory

[from-thoseghosts]

So... I have a theory about Bendy. It is useless for the lore but can be interesting for understanding the world of ink (?).

I think Bendy doesn't really talk like we do but instead communicates telepathically and can only do that with the ink monsters.

Why do I think this?

I noticed that when Bendy talks to Audrey at the end of Dark Revival, he doesn't open his mouth to speak. Ok, maybe he's just a ventriloquist idk. But he can communicate remotely as we can see when Audrey is with Wilson at the start of chapter five. Besides, Wilson could not hear the demon's voice because he is not initially ink. Another fact that supports this theory is Henry. In Ink Machine, we don't hear Bendy talking to us. Maybe because Henry isn't ink either. Then yes maybe it was just a simple change without really having a purpose behind it but it's still strange. Maybe this could be confirmed if Henry and Bendy have contact in The Cage ?

Yeah I'm thinking too much..

#bendy #bendy and the dark revival #bendy and the ink machine #batdr #batim #theory #batim theory #batdr theory #idk #ink demon #ink bendy #the ink demon #audrey batdr #audrey drew #wilson batdr #wilson arch #bendy fandom #bendy the cage #theory useless #but a theory #ink demon's voice is so grrrr #hes so silly #sean crisden

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

#mr. poe #a series of unfortunate events #asoue #asoue edit #texts from last night #I believe that I've proposed this theory before but in all honesty Mr. Poe being a pot addict makes so much sense #the constant spaced out confusion? #the odd cheerfulness at the horrors around him even when they are exposed as horrors? #bad memory? #general uselessness under any sort of pressure/something unexpected happening? #the constant cough despite never being seen smoking!? #search your heart #you know I'm right

[tallshps]

hey Locked Tomb tumblr I think I uncovered a very obscure but very funny layer to John Gaius and his particular branch of religion

Mithraea (singular: Mithraeum) were classical Roman temples, underground (usually part of natural caves!), and dedicated to the worship of the god Mithras. Most obvious connection here is the cult of Mithras dealing with the travelling of the soul through the body and into the universe; connections to water, the sun and cosmos, etc. The cult of Mithras had some clashing with early Christianity too but I need to get back on topic

I’m talking about what’s always depicted in fresco or relief in Mithraea: him killing a bull

John.... this motherfucker is Mithras Tauroctonos ??? Mithras the bull-slayer. Did you know cows watch sunsets? 

#tlt #the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #i've had a lot of fun with this series because I have an otherwise useless classical and religious studies degree #theres also more i could say about how Mithraism had initiation rites that were like 7 specific ritual meals and trials #and there were 7 original lyctors #but this is far funnier #having a classics/religion degree has just forewarned me for the stupidest shit in this series its like the worst oracle curse ever #nona the ninth #htn #john gaius #I'm also just bitter Alecto didn't turn out to be the Sun cause tht was my theory #ntn

[communistkenobi]

I’m reflecting on cesaire’s work again and one of the little flourishes he does in discourse on colonialism is that he says the west will have to answer for its crimes against the human community. and I especially love this line because he’s using the same bourgeois universalising language that the imperial core so often does (“human rights” “freedom and justice for all” “spreading democracy across the globe”) but as a cudgel against the west, to reframe the human community as all those who lay outside of it. anyway I think everyone should read discourse on colonialism

#I need to brush up on my post colonial reading I’m not as well read as I’d like to be #once I finish my coursework I’ll have more time for reading shit I actually want to read lol #like I’m reading so much stupid bullshit that does not matter for class #genuinely useless theory that I will never pick up again #I want to finish orientalism in particular. one of the most didactic books I’ve ever read #like said’s writing is like every sentence restates his central argument. It’s an unrelenting book in a really compelling way #Interspersed with him talking fine grain shit about a bunch of European intellectuals I’ve never heard of lol #book club

[wasabikitcat]

I had this realization a few days ago when reviewing what we know about Gaster while theorizing about the mysterious Valentine from the newsletter and idk if other people have pointed this out yet, but I haven't seen anyone else talk about it:

I don't think Gaster's disappearance has anything to do with Core.

The Core is only mentioned in relation to Gaster once, in this dialogue from one of the Gaster followers:

This dialogue is why most theories and fanon built around the idea that Gaster fell into the Core, which for reasons unknown to us erased him from existence. But I'm now pretty convinced that this is a red herring, because it doesn't actually say Gaster fell into the Core. It says he made the Core, and that he fell into his creation.

It does not say that this creation is the Core.

The dialogue is written in a way that leads you to assume the creation he fell into was the Core, but that doesn't really make much sense considering the rest of the dialogue.

The dialogue says "they say he created the Core," which implies this is second hand knowledge, but then says with certainty "One day, he fell into his creation." Why do they know for sure he fell into "his creation," but only knows he created the core from what others say?

If you talk to the follower again, they say "Will Alphys end up the same way?" Why would Alphys also fall into the Core? As far as we know, Alphys doesn't maintain the Core; if I remember correctly, a few monsters at Mettaton's hotel are stated to work in the Core, so wouldn't this follower be more concerned that those monsters will end up like Gaster and not Alphys?

And another question that I think fanon has just ignored due to the assumption it was something we don't yet know about, but I am now wondering about: Why would falling into the Core erase Gaster from time? When traveling through Hotland and viewing the Core in the distance, Alphys says this:

And while this dialogue may at first seem indicative that the Core is more mysterious than a normal geothermal power generator (and it is in some ways), remember: Alphys didn't build the Core. Alphys doesn't understand how the Core works, not because it has some unnatural property that could erase people from space time, but because she didn't build it. Not only does this mean that the Core is likely just a power generator that utilizes the lava in Hotland to produce geothermal energy and convert it to electricity, it also means that Alphys doesn't work on the Core, because she doesn't know how it works. So why would the Gaster follower worry about Alphys ending up like Gaster if she doesn't have any involvement with the Core?

Additionally, that Gaster follower is the only one to mention the Core in relation to Gaster. In fact, one of the other followers says something that could be interpreted as actively contradicting his erasure being caused by the Core:

This follower says "his experiments went wrong," and doesn't mention the Core. Why would Gaster be experimenting with the Core? And if he was, we don't know anything about it.

But you know what experiments we do know Gaster was working on, because it's literally one of the only pieces of dialogue we have from him?

And do you know what other creation was presumably made by Gaster, as Alphys is unfamiliar with it's operation? That is also a creation that was actively being used in experiments, which Alphys is continuing to perform herself? Experiments that are directly involved with something we already know can alter time and space? A creation that is located in one of the most mysterious areas in the game with several oddities in it that are straight up never explained, multiple fourth wall breaking moments, and a couple explicit references to things we believe are associated with Gaster? A creation that suspiciously resembles in appearance the form of a character who canonically can alter time and space, not to mention resembling the thing that's literally called a GASTER BLASTER???

#ignore the crusty spriters resource gaster blaster. google images is useless when it comes to finding actual gameplay screenshots. #anyways I may be completely out of the loop and everyone already knew this. but also the whole Core thing was basically accepted fanon #back in the day. and i only just realized it probably is a misinterpretation like less than a week ago #im not sure the determination extractor is the creation he fell into. but i think the creation he fell into is related to the extractor #also when looking up stuff for this i came upon the information that the tree man may be referenced in the true lab #when you enter the room filled with fog and try to inspect things it mentions a tree and a man. #not to mention the true lab being the debut of everyman of course. #and whatever the FUCK is up with the memory heads. who have a suspicious connection to phones btw. #actually Gaster has an incredibly suspicious connection to phones. like the spamton thing obviously but his presence seems to fuck up phone #the memory heads. the garbage noise in the dark world. hell GRANDPA SEMI is even directly related to phones. #considering one of the only two places he is mentioned is in a list of characters to have phone call events in the code of the demo. #also the art book mentions that the phone itself was originally a character. which kinda ties into the unused video game content theme. #this doesn't have much to do with this post im just rambling now. #anyways tl;dr i am now a 'gaster did not fall into the core' truther #undertale #deltarune #ut/dr #ut/dr theory

[silverfactory]

in the spirit of people sharing (really excellent!) velvet goldmine essays for the anniversary... i have one about jack fairy, jean genet, and queer sainthood that hasn't seen the light of day since 2017

i wrote this for a queer theory & michel foucault course when i was a college junior, a half-closeted baby queer. the world has changed a lot since then, and i've changed a lot, and i don't stand by everything i said as a kid (or my flagrant use of the em-dash). but my love for jack fairy is the same and i think there are at least a few lines here that are interesting enough to share!

#velvet goldmine #25yearsofvelvetgoldmine #at the very least i describe jack fairy as “sublime and useless” #like ok girl yeah #i'll stand by that #this totally reads like a 2010s queer theory stereotype though

[nametakensff]

.

#incidentally whilst I have serotica on the mind one of the sexiest fics on there imo is absolutely 'useless information' 🥵 #poor allergic man giving up and having an explosive uncovered fit in public? narrator watching and experiencing spontaneous orgasm? #detailed descriptions of how sneezy he looks? #his initial smaller tickly sneezes whilst he tries to hold back contrasted with the big violent ones? #and how he just lets loose and screams the sneezes out whilst gripping the table and drenching it with spray?? ohhh it's so GOOD #the narrator quoting random statistics and theory at him as a means of flirtation is also a mood #anyway if you like men and big sneezes and miserable allergic reactions in public then plz read it #nttalks

[jorysnory]

My jjk theory is that the only survivor will be miwa and she will be the one to kill sukuna because she’s just her

#jjk #jjk theory #jujutsu kaisen #kasumi miwa #I hate gege for cursing her with the name useless miwa because she deserves the world and I cannot give it to her ;-;

[jojo-heritage-posts]

if you ever need to get pissed off just open tiktok and see the most god fucking awful jojo takes known to man

#‘’’okuyasu is the most useless jobro’’’ YOURE FUCKING INSANE #someone had a whole ‘theory’ that the world’s ability wasnt actually timestop but could actually use any joestar’s ability ??? #absolute fucking gibberish #its one thing to have unrealistic hc . this shit is just blatantly wrong. with canon evidence #not heritage post #mod talk #that app is a hellhole