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najia-cooks · 9 months

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[ID: A sandwich on an English muffin with cheese, a sausage patty, bacon, egg, Hollandaise sauce, and chopped chives. End ID]

Vegan 'sausage' and 'egg' breakfast sandwiches

Soy sauce, maple syrup, liquid smoke, and fresh herbs and spices give savor, depth, and sweetness to these TVP-based sausage patties. A combination of rice flour, all-purpose flour, and coconut milk, inspired by Vietnamese bánh xèo, makes the batter for the egg patties; they are subtly flavored with kala namak, fenugreek, and white pepper to form a perfect complement for the sausage.

A slow cook in an egg ring followed by a quick fry makes the 'eggs' fluffy on the inside and crispy on the outside—a superior solution to tofu, which never quite has the right texture.

This is a delicious, filling option for a weekend breakfast or breakfast-for-dinner; or, make the TVP patties and 'egg' batter the night before and fry them in the morning for a quick breakfast option.

Recipe under the cut!

Patreon | Tip jar

Makes 6-8 small sandwiches.

Ingredients:

English muffins, buns, bagels, or rolls

Hollandaise sauce (optional)

Tomato, tempeh, avocado, spinach, and/or hot sauce as desired

For the sausage patties:

1 cup TVP

1 cup water

1 tsp vegetarian beef stock concentrate or beef pho seasoning

1 1/2 Tbsp ground dried shiitake mushrooms

2 Tbsp total fresh minced sage, rosemary, and thyme, or 2 tsp dried

1 1/2 tsp onion powder

1 1/2 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp smoked paprika

1/2 tsp sumac (optional)

1/2 tsp fennel seeds, toasted and ground

1/4 tsp ground ginger

1/4 tsp black peppercorns, toasted and ground

5 cloves, toasted and ground

Large pinch MSG (optional)

1/4 cup vegan mayo (substitute any neutral oil)

1 Tbsp aged soy sauce (substitute any soy sauce)

1 Tbsp vegetarian oyster sauce

1 Tbsp Caribbean burnt sugar (or substitute molasses)

1-2 Tbsp maple syrup or brown sugar

1/2 tsp liquid smoke

2 Tbsp ground flaxseed

1/4 cup (30g) chickpea flour (or all-purpose flour)

2 Tbsp potato starch (if needed)

1 Tbsp cooking oil, to fry

You could also make these patties with Impossible or Beyond ground beef. Use 2 cups (350g) ground beef; omit the water and stock concentrate; halve the soy sauce, oyster sauce, burnt sugar, and liquid smoke.

For the egg patties:

1/4 cup + 2 Tbsp (60g) white rice flour

3 Tbsp (22.5g) all-purpose flour (substitute more rice flour for a gluten-free version)

1 tsp ground turmeric

About 1 1/4 cup (295mL) coconut milk (canned or boxed; the kind for cooking, not drinking)

1/4 tsp kala namak (black salt), or substitute table salt

1/4 tsp fenugreek seeds, toasted and ground (optional)

1/4 tsp white peppercorns, toasted and ground (optional)

Cooking oil, to fry

Instructions:

For the egg patties:

1. Whisk all ingredients except coconut milk together in a medium mixing bowl.

2. Add coconut milk while stirring until a batter forms, about the consistency of pancake batter. It should be thin enough to flow, but thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.

3. Cover and allow to rest at room temperature while you prepare the TVP patties.

For the TVP patties:

1. If using whole spices: toast each spice for a few minutes in a dry skillet on medium heat until very fragrant. Remove skillet from heat and toast ground spices, stirring constantly, for 30 seconds. Grind all spices in a mortar and pestle or in a spice mill.

2. Whisk 1 tsp of vegetarian beef stock concentrate with 1 cup of just-boiled water in a large bowl until just combined. Add spices, soy sauce, oyster sauce, maple syrup, burnt sugar, maple syrup, liquid smoke, and TVP and mix well. Allow TVP to rehydrate for about 10 minutes.

3. Stir in herbs, flaxseed, and flour and mix until well-combined. Add breadcrumbs 1/4 cup at a time until patties hold together.

4. Form TVP mixture into patties about 4" in diameter (or as desired) and place on a plate. Refrigerate for about 10 minutes to allow to set.

To cook:

1. Heat a cast-iron or nonstick pan on medium-high with a couple teaspoons of oil. Place egg rings (or mason jar rings) in the pan, and pour enough batter in each one to make a patty about 1/2" (1cm) thick. Allow to brown for a minute or two.

2. Turn the heat down to low and continue cooking until the top of the egg patties have mostly solidified and are a shade darker.

3. Carefully flip each patty and remove the egg ring. Pour another couple teaspoons of oil in the pan and return the heat to medium-high. Fry, flipping if necessary, until each side of the patty is golden-brown and crispy.

4. Meanwhile, heat a Tbsp of oil in another large skillet on medium-low. Place patties in the skillet and flatten gently with the back of a spatula. Allow to cook for about 5 minutes on each side, until browned, crispy, and cooked through.

5. Assemble breakfast sandwiches with TVP patties, egg patties, and vegetables and sauces of your choice. Serve warm.

#cooking #gluten free #vegan recipes #what vegans eat #usamerican

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morethansalad · 7 days

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Vegan Char Siu Wonton Mee / Kon Lou Wantan Mee 干捞云吞面

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chainmailchalamet · 9 months

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Run Rabbit, Run (Dark! Eddie Munson 🍒🪽), Pt. 2

tags: roommates to lovers, modern!metalhead!eddie munson(maybe not a complete face match to ST!Eddie, but his look is up to your imagination), predator/prey dynamic , a lil degradation, impact, knife play, jealousy, possessive behavior + language, dacryphilia, kind of fucked up intense dirty talk, face slapping, choking, morallygrey!eddie, they may or may not be completely human (also up to interpretation), and as usual always!black always!non-binary POV 🌟🍒

————

the tension breaks because of course it does— because eddie, from the moment you move in, seems to be on a one-man mission to pull at every single one of your threads until you unravel at his feet, just so he can put you back together again.

and if you confronted him about it, he’d play dumb about it, because in his defense, he’s not really doing anything he wouldn’t usually do. nothing he wasn’t already doing before you moved in with him — he’d say you were being paranoid, that it was kind of adorable actually.

but you know you’re not, that he’s not just doing what he’d otherwise be doing, that his actions are a targeted attempt to make you lose your mind, to crawl under your skin and live there. that to him, it’s just a matter of time before you snap.

it starts with the cooking thing — he’s always cooking, has been attached to the kitchen since he was a kid, living with his uncle wayne down in virginia — sweet, sweltering hot virginia, where he got his twang and his first tattoos (the stick and poke smiley face on his ankle, the first set of knuckle tats, the bones of his face piece), his love of smoking cigarettes off the top of his trailer on cool, quiet nights with a sky full of stars. wayne, who’s still down in virginia in a cabin that eddie put the money down for with his chef money. uncle wayne, who taught him to gut a fish and skin a deer and whose peach cobbler recipe he’s still trying to get just right. wayne, who he still calls every sunday as he fixes both of you a full dinner spread with greens and sweet potato and baked chicken.

to eddie, cooking is home, and family, roots and heart — it’s more than a love language. it’s a soul language, and he speaks it fluently, teaches it to everyone he lets get close to him.

and it only take a couple of weeks before he’s speaking it to you day and night, until you barely have to lift a finger in the kitchen because he’s got you, because he’s always got you. he’s got you for breakfast, with thick cuts of salmon and fat, fluffy vegan pancakes. with fresh squeezed juice and sausages that he picks up from the polish supermarket in brown paper bags every sunday, because he’s got a plug for that, and a plug for the freshest fruit in-season, for big juicy strawberries and peach preserves and purple kale.

he feeds you, everyday — with leftovers from the restaurant shifts he works until 3 in the morning — he brings you the day’s specials, whatever they are, spoils you with mushroom risotto and grilled eggplant and bucatini made in-house with the most flavorful tomato sauce you’ve ever tasted. if the special is seafood, he brings it home in a freezer bag, with sliced lemon on the side — he serves you your first oyster, your first bite of squid ink pasta, your first full lobster.

he’ll knock on your door at some ungodly hour, and when you invite him in he’s got a plate loaded up for you, bags under his eyes and a tired smile. he’ll watch you take that first bite, make that first satisfied noise, because he knows you’ve been at the drafting table for hours making adjustments to a new garment in time for an editorial shoot over the weekend.

no matter how tired he is, he’ll sit on your bed, looking so out of place amongst your plushies that it makes you bite down a giggle at the sight of him, looking sharp and dangerous surrounded by soft things. no matter how tired he is, he’ll ask you about your day and listen intently, wrinkle between his eyes as he does — and even though you’re shy at first, talking to him about fashion, he’s encouraging, asking you questions until you loosen up a little and you’re talking his ear off about sustainable dyeing practices and bias cuts and the art of the gather. and you know he’s too tired to take it all in but he’ll fight it, yawning in-between questions like you can use onions skins as dye, that’s crazy, what else have you tried and you did that all by hand? so fucking cool — yeah, i mean I can do patches but it’s nothing like that, used to just use dental floss and it wasn’t super clean, nothing like what you do, that’s way more punk, you made a fucking jacket from scratch.

and he makes you shy when he gets like that, when he gives you all his attention, when he keeps track of every bite like you’re suddenly going to hate his cooking, like he’s ready at any moment to fix it for you, to go right back into the kitchen and make you something from scratch, like he wasn’t just groaning about the longest fucking shift of my life, darlin’, you wouldn’t believe — had to hide in the lockup at midnight cuz we just got back to back fucked, substitution after substitution, and i like getting creative, don’t get me wrong, but what the fuck do we have a menu for?

he lights up a little when he talks about the kitchen though, about gareth who does dishes and robin and steve who run the front of house like it’s the navy.

he’ll grin when you scrunch your nose up because he’s smoked through another pack in one shift, flash his teeth and say beats the alternatives, glad you didn’t meet me all strung out and 21, would’ve been vibrating around your room, rearranged the kitchen, lit a real fire in the fireplace.

even on his worst nights, after an actual hell-shift, when his texts get short and a little snappy, when he stops assaulting your chat with emojis, when he spells out every single word and doesn’t reply for hours and all you get after that is a “don’t wait up x”. even when you hear him come in, dragging himself through the apartment like his body is dead weight, even on the worst nights — you’ll wake up in the morning to a spanish omelette on the counter and a sticky note that says “getting some air, sorry about last night x”, as if he has anything to apologize for, as if he’s not allowed to be human.

it’s all so domestic — he makes your home a warm cloud to lay in. he makes you feel so at ease, like he’s got you, like he’s a safe place to land.

which is where the problem comes in — because your roommate eddie, your sweet, doting, sensitive eddie, who cries when he says “love you, g’bye” to his uncle wayne without fail every single time they talk, who has taken in one of the neighbors cats (cerberus, sweet and soft and definitely using him for his top-shelf tuna connections) as if it is his own, and calls his guitar sweetheart and shimmies his way around the kitchen on sundays humming let’s hear it for the boys.

that eddie — sweet, darling doting eddie — is a fucking deviant.

he doesn’t show it too often, keeps it tucked away with impressive self-control, maybe even tries to hide it from you until he’s sure you’re settled, until you start to wonder if you just imagined that glint in his eyes the first day you met him — until the mask slips, until you catch a glimpse of his shadow once more and you think to yourself “there he is”.

it happens because of a bottle of tequila — because it always does. you go out drinking with him and his work friends, because you lost all of yours in the breakup, and eddie says he’s already told everyone all about you, that they already love you, c’mon sweetheart, it’s my night off and i wanna celebrate, know you got that shoot coming up, barely been drinking water you’re working so much, don’t think i haven’t noticed. come dance with me, just one night, i promise i’ll get you back in one piece.

and when he puts you on the spot like that, makes you feel exposed like that, looks at you with his bambi eyes all wide like that, you can’t really say no.

so you get all dressed up (change your outfit three times, because it’s been a long time since you’ve been out and you wanna make a good impression, damn it), and you might be freaking out a little. but then eddie yells out “c’mon honey, bet you look perfect, lemme see you”, and you swallow that anxiety because you like the way his voice curls around the words like that, that honey-twang he’s got cuz you’ve both been pre-gaming a little (him with a homemade margarita, you with a glass of red wine). it makes you brave, makes you take a deep breath and step out into the living room. and you both see each other all dressed up for the first time and — something shifts.

something tilts on its god damn axis — it’s the start of the end.

his hair is wild. big and dark and wild and sparkling through like he’s sprayed glitter in it. he’s got the most delicious black leather jacket on, fit perfect to his body and aged just right. he’s got this sheer fucking fabric stretched across his torso — it’s barely a shirt, just a scrap of something dark that lets you see the cut of his hips and the ink in his skin and the silver rings in his nipples.

his pants are low cut, ripped jagged across both knees, like he busted them open skating — and his boots are obscene, steel-toed shit-kickers, red-laces cutting through them like veins. he looks so good you want to stomp your feet and whine “not fair, who gave you eyeliner, that’s cheating”.

he looks like a young god, like hell on legs, like a flashing neon sign that says “i am going to fuck your life up and you’re going to thank me for it”. you suddenly can’t read.

the way he’s looking at you makes your mouth dry up, makes your thighs press together, makes you want to fall to your knees and worship. it’s all that desire you forgot that he possessed, that you only catch flashes of in the quiet moments — when he’s giving you a taste of something new and his eyes travel down to your lips wrapping round the edge of the spoon, when you hum low and pleased with your eyes closed and you open them up and he’s giving you that look again, that “run, rabbit, run” look.

for the first time in weeks he’s not hiding any of it from you — runs his gaze over your face and down your neck, across your shoulder and down your stomach, to your hips and both your thighs (he takes his time right there, sees you twitch, darts up to meet your eyes real quick, almost-smiles, like he’s saying “got you”)

and then up, up, up again. he takes his time. he runs his tongue across his lips, comes up real close and tugs on one of your braids with a scrunch between his brows, looks down at you and blows out a quiet rush of air and says “we should go, right now” like he means “before i do something i regret”.

that night, something inside you snaps.

his friends all clearly know something you don’t, and they are varying degrees of subtle about it. chrissy hugs you and smiles big and bright and says aren’t you the prettiest god damn thing i’ve ever seen but she’s looking at eddie when she says it, and it makes your face heat up.

robin and steve are all wry and knowing, bitchy in a fun way, exchanging little smiles with each other, all he’s finally let you out the dungeon, huh? thought he was gonna keep you all to himself.

jon is quiet but he gives eddie this little nod like “i see you” and his boyfriend argyle is already two-thirds into a bottle of casamigos so he just says the quiet part out loud, somehow makes it sound so chill, like it’s not a big deal that he takes one look at you and goes holy shit, eddie wasn’t lying, you’re like — what the fuck, i’d write songs about you too. doesn’t even give you a second to unpack all that before there’s a shot in your hand.

and then the drinks keep flowing and you start to loosen up and enjoy yourself and eddie doesn’t seem phased by any of the teasing, sits close to you and takes sips out of his drink (fruity, staining his tongue red as punch, sickly sweet when he lets you have a taste of it), keeps his eyes on you all night, just takes it all in stride — like he was expecting this, like he’s made his peace.

and you’re too drunk now to let it go, so you turn to him while steve and rob are busy bullying everyone else and you slur out something like so you’re obsessed with me, huh? and he smiles sharp and dirty and goes you don’t wanna go there with me honey, and you say why not, you’re all talk, don’t pussy out on me and his eyes go pitch black.

he nods his head, hums to himself. “noted.”

and it just goes down, down, down from there. because now you’re worked up, feeling bratty, feeling mean. you nod too, and he’s just taking you in, sitting too close, watching you like he’s curious, like he’s just delighted at the thought of what you’re gonna do next. bet, you think. let’s go, then.

steve seems like your best bet, so you ask him if he wants to dance, sugary sweet and wide-eyed, and he grins like he’s been waiting for this all night, says later losers, time to have some actual fun and takes your hand, cutting eddie a look like the cat that got the cream as you climb over his lap on your way out.

eddie’s just looking, looking, looking. quiet storm brewing across his face. leans in close before you’re gone to whisper “careful, baby” in your ear, like a warning.

you just smile at him, shrug. come get me, big bad.

dancing with steve is easy, his arm across your back, your hips pressed close. he says “your boy’s watching, wanna give him something to look at?” and you pout, tell him “he’s not gonna do shit, stevie, he’s all talk”.

steve smiles at you like you’re so dumb, just delightfully stupid, so you ask him what he knows and he says “i know he’s real sweet on you, but you better watch it, honey — eddie’s not the one to play with.”

and then he leans into your ear and tells you a story about a wolf who walks like a man and talks like a man and acts like a sheep — but he’s a wolf, honey. he likes to bite, likes to play with his food — keeps his prey tied down in his lair and takes them apart, piece by piece, until they’re crying, begging, until the fight leaves them all at once and they go empty between the ears, until they’re just gone. and then he just keeps taking, taking, taking. until they’ve got nothing left to give him.

and the music is so syrupy sweet that you’re lost in it, lost in the roll of your hips, lost in steve’s voice rumbling in your ears, low and hypnotic, lost in the drinks flowing through your veins — until steve has to hold you by the chin and force you to look up at him and say “still with me, little lamb?”

your throat is dry when you ask him how he knows what he knows, and he just looks over your shoulder (you know who he’s looking at, you feel those eyes across your back, he’s always watching, he just never stops looking) and tilts his chin up and goes why don’t you ask him yourself, honey?

and then eddie’s right there, pressed up against your back — leaning down to your ear to ask if you’re having fun, and for a second you’re pressed up between them both, letting steve rock you back into eddie, letting eddie grip you by the hips and pull you back, back, back, guiding you into a slow, filthy grind. your eyes fall close, you barely notice steve pressing a kiss to your temple, trilling have funnnn before he’s gone into the crowd again.

you still with me, eddie asks, at the same time you spin round and ask him “you fucked steve?”

he laughs a little and hums i see y’all been getting acquainted, pulls you close again and says jealous, honey?

you say you wish, and then you did, didn’t you? said you act like a sheep, but you’re not, are you? you’re a wolf.

he looks down at you, runs his hands under the straps of your top, presses his palms to the skin of your back, dips his head down. you know, i wanted to do this right — wanted to woo you and shit. feed you, keep you warm, treat you sweet.

and you know, you know, you know. what are you gonna do with me now, eddie?

he just looks at you. looks and looks, pulls you closer, let’s his hand creep down, down, down, makes the heat in your body swoop down low in your tummy when he grips you hard over your skirt, sweeps one hand in your hair and gets his fingers tangled in your braids, all the way down to the root and tugs, real mean with it.

he makes you bare your neck to him, makes you gasp, makes you wanna beg. for his teeth in your neck, for his hands between your thighs, for his mouth on you. you gonna hurt me, eddie?

he shrugs. i don’t know yet, honey. you gonna ask me nice for it? gonna ask for what you want instead of being a rude little brat, making me think you wanna fuck my friends?

your mouth goes dry. i wasn’t tryna —

nah, you just wanted me to think it, didn’t you? his voice drops low, mean, dark. dumb bunny, you didn’t actually think that was gonna work, did you? steve likes em big and bad, and you’re fucking nothing like that, are you? pretty little doll, he’d eat you alive.

he’s all inside your head, barely leaving you any space for yourself, and the way he sneers dumb bunny makes you squirm, makes you ache. he’s got you pinned in place like a fly in amber, nowhere else to run. and you wouldn’t?

he tilts his head, hums, says it again, wanted to do this right, wanted to lay you out on my bed and make you feel good. he mouths a kiss across your neck, traces his tongue across the skin, just the tip, just a tease. asked me if i was obsessed with you. stupid fucking question, baby. knew you were mine, first second i saw you, walked into my house and made it all strawberry and honey, seeped into everything, kept me up at night with it — and now it’s all over our home, our fucking home.

he uses his teeth, opens his mouth wide like a beast, like he can’t just smell you, like he needs the taste of it too, needs to feel the flesh between his teeth. and you can see right though me, can’t you, baby? the others, they think they see it, think they know what i think when i look at you, but you know, don’t you? you’ve always known.

you know. you’ve known. he wants inside your skin, wants to worm his way deep and build a home there. wants to keep you fed, keep you full, make you happier than anyone could. wants to own your happiness and your hunger, greedy over it. fucked up over the thought of anyone taking care of you better than he could, knows in his soul that no one else could. it makes you scared, makes you warm, makes you feel insane. you should run, should find a new apartment and start over because you’re so raw, and vulnerable, and he could hurt you, he wants to hurt you —

you tilt your head back, you run your hands across his shoulders, over his back, up into his hair, and you grab a handful and pull. he makes a noise like a wounded dog. he pants for it, folds forward like he got the breath knocked out of him — you think he’s mine, he’s mine, he’s mine, feel him kick up against you, big and warm and hard against your hip and your head swims with the thought. over and over, the same thought — mine, mine, mine.

yeah, sweet thing, m’yours, all yours, all of it, all yours, he whines, just for you. must’ve heard you, must’ve said it out loud. he sounds hollowed out, like you’ve let all his air out, and you’re wild for it.

tell me how, you say. you tug his head down so you can speak into his ear, and he goes down easy, so easy. when i let you take me to bed, when i let you have it, what will you do to me? what first?

a knife, he says, like a man possessed. toys with all your straps, slips his fingers underneath and tugs. wanna cut you out of this pretty fabric. look like an angel, wanna rip it to shreds, lay you down in the ribbons.

to ruin me, you say.

to make your heart race, he sings. he sways into you, sounds so consumed with desire it makes him drunk, makes him slur his words like his teeth are too big for his mouth. make you scared, make you wanna run so i can catch you. hold you down, press the blade up against your skin and play.

he wants to play. with a knife to your neck. fucking freak.

yours, yours, yours, he says. pulls back to look at you, hisses when you follow him with your hands in his hair, eyes rolling up and then back down, eyes half-shut, lights going out until it’s all a stretch of midnight without a star in the sky.

beautiful boy, you think. terrible, terrible, gorgeous boy.

wanna spit in your fucking mouth, he confesses. wanna hold my hand over your nose and watch your throat work as you swallow. wanna make you wet all over.

you’re already wet all over, and he knows that. can probably smell it, the wolf.

you’re still dancing, somehow. still swaying, still pressed up against each other, no room for common sense. his friends are nowhere to be seen — the crowd of bodies around you have all blurred away. you want to be home, in his bed, his lair, at his mercy. you tell him as much, and he smiles at you like he’s proud. love it when you tell me the truth, he says. love it when you show me.

better make it worth it, eddie, you say. better make it hard to leave your bed in the morning.

and then, he sings. and then, and then, and then.

greedy boy, you think, never gonna let me go, never gonna let anyone else touch me ever again.

you press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, red and sweet and sharp. and then, you say, then you’re gonna feed me, like you always do.

#eddie x black!reader #dom eddie munson #eddie x y/n #eddie munson #eddie x reader #dark!eddie munson #dom!eddie munson #mean dom eddie munson #black!oc #black!y/n #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson smut

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aroacehanzawa · 1 year

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unparalleled gourmet

#chinese cabbage/napa cabbage pancakes:#about 5-6 leaves of the cabbage (straighten them out by lightly chopping on the curved parts)#about 1 cup flour and 1 cup water or just eyeball the amounts until you get kind of a runny pancake batter with no clumping #add a dash of soy sauce and pepper and spices to taste #coat the cabbage leaves in the batter and fry in a big pan with some oil until crispy #serve with a sauce of spring onions + sesame oil + soy sauce #i also added some (vegan) oyster sauce and roasted sesame seeds

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foundationhq · 1 month

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As you login to a work computer at Site-φ’s main base, you notice a new notification in your SCiPNET inbox. As the computer renders the splash image at a snail's pace, you squint at the title. The Phi-thon? It turns out to be a monthly newsletter... but what catches your eye is the announcement of a new member for THE BROKEN SCALES OF THEMIS.

𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒍𝒚 𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒖

The monthly menu for March, as curated by CHEF DE CUISINE Fulgence Carême, will be available for a limited time alongside the regular menu with meat, fish, vegetarian, as well as vegan options for our staff.

BREAKFAST (6AM - 10:30 AM)

Sausage Royale Croissant Roll with cheddar cheese, beef sausage patty, two strips bacon, fried egg. Garnished with dill and parsley. With spiced ketchup to taste.

Salmon Belly Royale Croissant Roll with wild salmon, crème fraîche, spinach and collard green hollandaise, topped with ikura-style salmon roe and salmon skin cracklings.

Mushroom Royale Croissant Roll (V) with grilled portobello, cremini, and king oyster mushrooms, crispy shallots, onion jam, and a herby rosemary sauce.

LUNCH (12 PM - 5 PM)

Cheese & Leek Croquettes with yukon gold potatoes, confit pearl onions, and black garlic chips.

Soft-shell Crab Tempura Burger with deep-fried whole soft-shell crab, pickled cabbage, sorrel, arugula, iceberg lettuce, ponzu vinaigrette or parmesan mayo. Comes with old bay fries.

Heirloom Tomato Preserve Flatbread (V) with arkansas traveler, aunt ruby's german green, hillbilly, and purple calabash varieties. Comes with olive oil and balsamic vinegar dip.

DINNER (5 PM - CLOSE)

Slow-roasted Pistachio Lamb with mint and pistachio crusted lamb leg, roasted cauliflower and new potatoes, horseradish cream, and truffle-infused gravy.

Pan-seared Yuzu Scallops with hazelnuts, clementine slices, and yuzu beurre blanc sauce. Comes with a light slaw salad.

Crispy Hen-of-the-Woods Mushroom Platter (V) with a medley of grilled wild mushrooms, artichokes, asparagus, and quinoa-wild rice pilaf. Garnished with walnuts and vegan pesto.

DESSERT Fresh seasonal berries with Chai-spiced Clotted Cream with strawberries, blueberries, currants, blackberries, and gooseberries. Chai spice contains clove, cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom, and ginger.

Coffee Caramel Frozen Brazo de Mercedes with blended coffee ice cream, peanuts, cashews, and warm caramel sauce.

Vegan Raspberry Coconut Mousse Parfait (V) with silken tofu, agave syrup, raspberries, and layered with vegan dark chocolate cookie crumble, and topped with roasted coconut shavings.

𝑾𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈

All personnel please be advised that there is a WEATHER WARNING in effect from 0100 to 2400 on March 29th; heavy cloud cover is expected to sock in during the early hours, accompanied shortly by freezing rain and sleet. Blizzard conditions should be in full force before 0500. Barring direct orders from Site Director Osterholz or, if applicable, MTFC 𝑆𝑀𝑂𝑂𝑇𝐻 𝑂𝑃𝐸𝑅𝐴𝑇𝑂𝑅, any unnecessary outdoor activities should be curtailed. Remain indoors. Do not be alarmed when blinds are lowered and locked in position; this is normal procedure at Site-φ in the case of extreme weather. There is nothing to see in the snow. You are not missing out.

𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒏𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒆-𝑨𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒆

by SECURITY CAPTAIN J. Kato

How about that forecast, Site-φ! In honor of what’s probably going to be the last blizzard of the spring (don’t hold me to that, I’m no meteorologist! :D) Site Security will be hosting a bonfire at the campground the evening of March 28th. Come get cozy before the storm hits! BYOTTB (Bring Your Own Things* To Burn). *Adhering to all regulations re: flammable substances and safe use of the communal campground, found under Hazardous Materials (Reg. F-451) and Outdoor Recreation (Regs. C-10 through -14) in the Personnel Handbook.

RSVP! →

📍 all muses are welcome to attend this open event, taking place at the on-site campground on the evening of March 28th. These threads may be written whenever you like before the act closes, so long as they are dated to that time! several bonfires will be set and maintained by site-φ security personnel from nightfall to midnight. hot chocolate and non-alcoholic cider will be available; muses are welcome to bring food and/or shredder-ready paperwork, photographs of regrets, evidence of wrongdoings, unwanted papercrafts, and disappointing research to burn. there is also an optional interactive roll for a random [𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙵𝙸𝙴𝙳] element!

𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒆'𝒔 (𝑰𝒏)𝑭𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑭𝒊𝒔𝒉

Following several hospitalizations linked to the most recent serving of Frankie’s Famous Fish last month, all waivers have been destroyed and future shipments of “fish” scratched from the order. Anyone who sees or smells “fish” should report this to Site Security. Site Administration would like to stress and remind personnel not to try Frankie’s Famous Fish at the cafeteria; do not believe the rumors the dish gives you powers if you survive. If anyone has seen Frankie, inform him that the HR Department and Director Osterholz desires a meeting. Immediately.

𝑫𝒆𝒇𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 𝑺𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒓 & 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒃𝒂𝒕 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝑨𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕

The Security Department will continue to offer self-defense and weapons handling classes. Additionally, Op. 𝐷𝑌𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐸𝐷 has been ordered to conduct combat readiness assessments on all members of MTF Chi-00. When asked for comment, he replied: “That so?” and stated that they should “Be on time.” Requests for elaboration were met with a smile, precisely one nod, and what may have been a laugh. Additional, remedial seminars can be arranged with Captain Kato in advance of your assessment.

BOOK A TIME! →

𝐿𝑎𝑏 𝐴𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠

Lab spaces may still be booked through the Head of Research at Site-φ. Please let them know what you intend to research, and be advised that lab space is in slightly shorter than usual supply due to “a Newt-related incident.” Newt, who is a good dog, does not understand what this could be referring to. Neither does anyone else who was in the lab at the alleged time of the incident. Head of research insists that Newt “knows what he did.”

SUBMIT A REQUEST! →

📍 players are welcome to request a lab space for their researchers by contacting rp mgmt. please note that requesting a space as a themis member would immediately jump the line of the other scientists at the site. some themis researchers, depending on their prestige, may be given a full team of lab assistants to aid in their noble pursuit to secure, contain, and protect.

𝑾𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑪𝒍𝒖𝒃 𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒏-𝑼𝒑𝒔

The Walking Club, a group of highly-intelligent pack of dogs, is looking for new members! remember — DON’T WALK ALONE. That is a formal directive, not a request. Joining the Walking Club is especially critical given the WEATHER WARNING soon to be in effect; any personnel who need to move between site buildings while the WARNING is active must contact the Walking Club. The correct way to contact the Walking Club is to step through the nearest door, close it behind you,* and whistle as loud as possible. If you are not a good whistler, that is okay! There is no such thing as a bad whistle if you put your heart into it! The Walking Club will still hear you and arrive shortly. *If Newt has chosen you as his walking buddy, you are advised to brace yourself against the door before whistling, to prevent injury.

𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒆-φ 𝑱𝒐𝒃 𝑩𝒐𝒂𝒓𝒅

The following “odd jobs,” which are in no way “odd” or “unusual,” are currently available, on an as-available, non-urgent basis, personnel schedules permitting. Consider being a Site-φ neighbor and lend a hand if you can!

GROW-LIGHT GARDEN ASSISTANT posted by HEAD GARDENER S. Oz Do you appreciate site-acceptable greenery? Do you feel “well”? Do you enjoy communing with the earth, unto which our mortal flesh will someday return, if we are lucky? Join the Grow-Light Garden Staff! BRING: your own garden-ready gloves and/or knee pads. DO NOT BRING: negative energies. Seriously. Do not. For everyone's sakes. EDIT: This position has been filled.

SUPPORT ARCHIVIST posted by HEAD LIBRARIAN and ARCHIVIST Dr. W. Zai While Junior Archivist M. Leitner recovers from unwise choices as regards his seafood intake, the Site-φ archives are in need of additional hands. These hands will, ideally, be experienced in standard archival procedures. EDIT: This position has been filled.

CONTACT NOW! →

📍 players are welcome to pick up supplemental odd jobs during their time at site-φ. you can pick up an odd job by contacting rp mgmt. however, please note that these listings are first-come, first-serve, and muses may be fired from their position if they are unable to fulfill the job’s requirements (posting a monthly prompt). however, these positions may also reveal more of site-φ’s mysteries. there is also an optional interactive roll for a random [𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙵𝙸𝙴𝙳] element!

𝑫𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓 𝑶𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒛'𝒔 𝑨𝒅𝒗𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝑨𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕

𝑹𝑬: 𝑭𝑹𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑵𝑰𝒁𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵

by DIRECTOR B. Osterholz

Good evening. It has been brought to my attention that our new additions here at Site-φ may be in need of a reminder as to the appropriateness of fraternization among personnel at this highly clandestine installation. To reiterate what was stated during onboarding and in the welcome brochure: “making eyes,” “canoodling,” and/or “partaking in the horizontal tango” with fellow staff members is not allowed at Site-φ. As you all know, the nature of our work demands absolute dedication and focus. Surely any rumors of anyone engaging in such acts on-site are, indeed, no more than crass rumors to razz the newcomers.

𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒆-φ 𝑩𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝑨𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑪𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Due to the sheer number of staff here at Site-φ, acknowledgments in the Phi-thon are through user submission. Thank you for celebrating your fellow Phi-thons.

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑃ℎ𝑖-𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑛 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎… 𝐻𝐴𝑃𝑃𝑌 𝐵𝐼𝑅𝑇𝐻𝐷𝐴𝑌! JUNIOR ENGINEER K. MADDOW, March 4th Happy b-day, K!!! Engi life is the best life! Couldn’t have made that particle blaster without ya! See you at Holly’s, a round on us! — Your pals at Engineering. ASSISTANT RESEARCHER C. VATYA, March 13th The Site-φ Researcher will be 50 this year. Thank you for all your hard work, encouragement, and good humor. From all of us in the 'Pataphysics Wing of Research and Development, we wish our fellow a happy birthday. WELLNESS COUNSELOR J. Oyuun, March 20th “The best gift you could possibly give me is to attend your mandatory wellness assessment. Anything more extravagant would, in fact, be inappropriate, given the nature of our strictly counselor-to-client relationship. But I also wouldn’t say no to more crayons or holographic stickers from that one place in Hōuston…”

MTF CHI-00 OPERATIVE 52 PICKUP, March 20th Happy birthday. From a secret admirer.

If you’d like to announce or contribute to our monthly newsletter, contact the Phi-thon via SCiPNET. →

📍 players are welcome to guest write or submit an in-character announcement for the monthly newsletter by contacting rp mgmt! reach out to us for more details.

Please enjoy a complimentary All You Can Brunch Buffet Ticket from us at the Phi-thon. Please note these tickets are valid for one person for one-time use. As Director Osterholz has advised in previous Phi-thon issues, ticket trading is not permitted on Site-φ.

📌 OOC GUIDELINES & HINTS!

These listings are supplemental features for enhancing your experience immersing into Site-φ’s world. Feel free to interact in any shape or form, be it directly or indirectly referencing them for open and closed starters, pager chats, self-paras... and even doing TTRPG rolls, or conversing with the NPCs 1-on-1! Based on your muse’s movements, new information, features, and subplots may be unlocked as these plot points develop. This game is responsive to you; your actions will directly affect the environment. All in all, however you wish to spend your time at Site-φ, we hope that it'll be a fun and memorable experience!

#fhq.plot #fhq.phithon #fhq.plot.1.1

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windblume-wishes · 2 years

Note

if requests are still open....

ehhh... ahahahha...

totally not me asking for t*ey, a*e and a*ul baking with the reader hc ahahahhaha.....

𝔾𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤, 𝔻𝕖𝕒𝕣 𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕧𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕣! 𝕀𝕥’𝕤 𝕒 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕖𝕡𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥! ♡︎

Honey! Top of the mornin’! Good to hear from you! I do hope all is well and you are keeping in good health~ I’ll definitely write these for you, coincidentally I was just baking cookies when you sent me this request!

𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚎, 𝙸’𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚊 𝙶𝙽 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛. 𝙸 𝚍𝚘 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚛!

𝕃𝕖𝕥’𝕤 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕟𝕠𝕨, 𝕀 𝕓𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕖 𝕘𝕠𝕖𝕤 𝕒 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖...

Baking With You - Headcanons

Ace Trappola

Absolute menace in the kitchen, will eat every single thing in his sight.

Ace will target the batter bowl and eat the whole thing enough for you to make more.

If you are making a cherry pie, it will be as good as gone before you even start baking, those cherries will mysteriously go missing. Shocker, eh?

After a good scolding, he will take baking a bit more seriously, he wants a nice warm cherry pie in his belly so he knows when to stop… to a degree…

Messy boy! He will make an absolute mess of the kitchen! Flour will be everywhere and he will be covered in it, yes it would look adorable but- no, it is adorable… do tease him for it, dear!

Be prepared for unexpected food fights, he is armed with a can of whipped cream- you already know how this will end don’t you, dear reader?

Whining little baby boy who asked almost every fifteen seconds about when the pie will be done.

“Y/N…. I’m hungrrryyyy! When’s the pie gonna be done? Growin’ boys need their food, ya know?”

“Ace, the timer says there is 30 minutes left! How are you still hungry after eating the first bowl of pie cherries?!”

His stomach’s growls are indeed audible, you are convinced he has a bear cub in there with how it sounds.

Ace will help clean the kitchen but… napping by the warm oven is a bit more of his style. Oh, do be warned that he drools because of the pie smell.

Once the pie is done, fully cooled enough to eat, the pie will be gone within moments.

“Soooo, can we bake another one?”

By “We” he means you…

Trey Clover

Best. Baking. Companion. EVER! Seriously, with Trey by your side in the kitchen, baking cannot go wrong.

He has plenty of baking themed dad jokes that will either make you burst out laughing or make you absolutely cringe.

Trey makes sure you follow every direction, of course, while trying to trick you into using oyster sauce or other non-ingredients because he enjoys messing with you.

You are banned from using the stove and the oven without his full supervision. He is like a mum in the kitchen, unless he’s watching you, you may not use those.

Neat freak, keep your cooking station clear! Trey will practically recreate that Ratatouilles scene where the woman goes “keep your station clear!”

Trey let’s you sneak cake batter or cookie batter! He pretends not to know but he knows and does not care, it’s all part of the fun!

“Now, (Y/N), I need you to set the oven’s timer for precisely 30 minutes, in that time could you help me out with the rest of the cleaning? No cookies for you if you don’t help clean up, haha!”

Just respond “Yes, mom” and go with it.

Trey gives head pats when you finish your kitchen chores! So now that you are done you may get a treat!

“Looking good, (Y/N), once the cookies are out of the oven, you may have some! But not until they have cooled off, can’t have you getting burned!”

Once more you cannot use the oven to take the cookies out, Mama Trey said so.

He gives you a plate of warm cookies and some milk, explaining that you need the calcium for your bones.

(Or if you are Vegan you may have your delicious oat/soy/almond milk!)

He will send you to the bathroom to brush your teeth immediately after you finish…

“(Y/N), want to help me make tarts next? Oh but no cutting strawberries for you! Knives are too dangerous-”

Amazing baking buddy! However- he has a request that whatever treat you make has to be low calorie and somewhat healthy so it does not ruin his flawless waistline.

You come to the agreement to make the Keto Vegan Peanut Butter Cookies, only 30 calories and he is pleased. (Recipe is linked!)

“Perfect! These will be suitable for my diet, now allow me to add it to my calorie counter- what? I need to! I CANNOT go back to being a squish ball!”

But squishy Azul is cute Azul… well, whatever makes the Tako happy I suppose.

He will help you, and he is an amazing cook. He learned from his mummy.

Neat freak 2.0, must have a clean kitchen space to work or it is a no go. Tell him otherwise and expect a Gordon Ramsey outburst.

Azul does taste test the batter, and if he likes he not only gives a chef’s kiss, but the “Italian Hand Gesture” while saying it’s “Perfecto”

As this kitchen has been reserved for you two and ONLY you two, he will chase any Floyds out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon.

He’s a clingy boy, he will hold onto you as you cook just because he wants to be close to you. Do not tell him to let go or else you will face the hurt tako eyes.

Azul is very much a perfectionist, he needs the timer and oven temperature to be just right, follows the instructions flawlessly and triple checks and quadruple checks.

“I checked four times and everything looks good. You may put them in the oven now.”

He is a good kitchen cleaner, he makes it sparkle like a brand new chandelier. It’s Beauté! 100 Points!

You know how he said he wanted to watch his waistline? Well those cookies were gone within minutes…

#twisted wonderland #windblume writes #twst #gender neutral mc #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland azul #twisted wonderland trey #twisted wonderland ace #twst ace #ace trappola #ace x reader #trey clover #trey x reader #twst trey #twst azul #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto

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